 Chapter 5 of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles, and Conundrums This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Read by Michelle Fry, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in September 2019 Chapter 5 Advice from a Caterpillar The caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence. At last the caterpillar took the hook out of its mouth and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. Who are you? said the caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied rather shyly. I hardly know, sir, just at present. At least I know who I was when I got up this morning. But I think I must have been changed several times since then. What do you mean by that? said the caterpillar sternly. Explain yourself. I can't explain myself. I'm afraid, sir, because I'm not myself, you see. I don't see. said the caterpillar. I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly, Alice replied very politely. For I can't understand it myself to begin with. And being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing. It isn't, said the caterpillar. Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet, said Alice. But when you have to turn into a chrysalis, you will someday, you know. And then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it's a little queer, won't you? Not a bit, said the caterpillar. Well, perhaps your feelings may be different, said Alice. All I know is it would feel very queer to me. You, said the caterpillar contemptuously. Who are you? Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the caterpillars making such very short remarks. And she drew herself up and said very gravely, I think you ought to tell me who you are first. Why? said the caterpillar. Here was another puzzling question. And as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the caterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. Come back, the caterpillar called after her. I have something important to say. This sounded promising, certainly Alice turned and came back. Keep your temper, said the caterpillar. Is that all? said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could. No, said the caterpillar. Alice thought she might as well wait as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, whilst it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again and said, So, you think you're changed to do you? I'm afraid I am, said Alice. I can't remember things as I used to, and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together. Can't remember what things, said the caterpillar. Well, I've tried to say how doth the little busy bee, but it all came different, Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. Repeat, you are old, Father William, said the caterpillar. Alice folded her hands and began. You are old, Father William, the young man said, and your hair has become very white, and yet you incessantly stand on your head. Do you think at your age it is right? In my youth, Father William replied to his son, I feared it might injure the brain, but now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, why I do it again and again. You are old, said the youth, as I mentioned before, and have grown most uncommonly fat, yet you turn a back somersault in at the door. Pray, what is the reason for that? In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his gray locks, I have dulled my limbs very supple. By the use of this ointment, one shilling the box, allow me to sell you a couple. You are old, said the youth, and your jaws are too weak for anything tougher than suet, yet you finish the goose with the bones and the beak. Pray, how did you manage to do it? In my youth, said the father, I took to the law and argued each case with my wife, but the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw has lasted the rest of my life. You are old, said the youth, one would hardly suppose that your eye was as steady as ever, yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose, what made you so awfully clever? I have answered three questions and that is enough, said his father, don't give yourself airs. Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? I'll kick you downstairs. That is not said right, said the caterpillar. Not quite right, I'm afraid, said Alice timidly. Some of the words have got altered. It is wrong from beginning to end, said the caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. The caterpillar was the first to speak. What size do you want to be, he asked. Oh, I'm not particular as to size, Alice hastily replied. Only one doesn't like changing so often, you know. I don't know, said the caterpillar. Alice said nothing. She had never been so much contradicted in her life before and she felt that she was losing her temper. Are you content now, said the caterpillar? Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind, said Alice. Three inches is such a wretched height to be. It is a very good height indeed, said the caterpillar, angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke. It was exactly three inches high. But I'm not used to it, pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone and she thought of herself, I wish these creatures wouldn't be so easily offended. You'll get used to it in time, said the caterpillar and put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two, the caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, one side will make you grow taller and the other side will make you grow shorter. One side of what? The other side of what, thought Alice to herself. Of the mushroom, said the caterpillar just as if she had asked it out loud. And in another moment it was out of sight. Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it and as it was perfectly round she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms around it as far as they would go and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. And now, which is which? Alice said to herself and nibbled a little of the right hand bit to try the effect. The next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin, it had struck her foot. She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change but she felt that there was no time to be lost as she was shrinking rapidly so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open her mouth but she did it at last and managed to swallow a morsel of the left hand bit. Come my head's free at last said Alice in a tone of delight which changed into alarm in another moment when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found. All she could see when she looked down was an immense length of neck which seemed to rise like a stock out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below. What can all that green stuff be said Alice and where have my shoulders got to and oh my poor hands how is it I can't see you. She was moving them about as she spoke but no results seemed to follow except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head she tried to get her head down to them and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag and was going to dive in among the leaves which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry a large pigeon had flown into her face and was beating her violently with its wings. Serpent screamed the pigeon I am not a serpent said Alice indignantly ask me alone serpent I say again repeated the pigeon but in a more subdued tone and added with a kind of a sob I've tried every way and nothing seems to suit them I haven't the least idea what you're talking about said Alice I've tried the roots of trees and I've tried banks and I've tried hedges the pigeon went on without attending to her but those serpents there's no pleasing them Alice was more and more puzzled but she thought there was no use in saying anything more until the pigeon had finished as if it wasn't trouble enough hatching these eggs said the pigeon but I must be on the lookout for serpents night and day why I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks I'm very sorry you've been annoyed said Alice who was beginning to see its meaning and just as I've taken the highest tree in the wood continued the pigeon raising its voice to a shriek and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last they must needs come wriggling down from the sky ugh serpents but I'm not a serpent I tell you said Alice I'm a well what are you said the pigeon I can see you're trying to invent something I'm a little girl said Alice rather doubtfully as she remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day a likely story indeed said the pigeon in a tone of deepest contempt I've seen a good many little girls in my time but never one with such a neck as that no no you're a serpent and there's no use denying it I suppose you'll be telling me next that you've never tasted an egg I have tasted eggs certainly said Alice who was a very truthful child but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do you know I don't believe it said the pigeon but if they do why then they're a kind of serpent that's all I can say this was such a new idea to Alice that she was quite silent for a minute or two which gave the pigeon the opportunity of adding you're looking for eggs I know that well enough and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a serpent it matters a good deal to me said Alice hastily but I'm not looking for eggs as it happens and if I was I shouldn't want yours I don't like them raw well be up then said the pigeon in a sulky tone as it settled down again into its nest Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it after a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands and she set to work very carefully nibbling first at one and then at the other and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height it was so long since she had been anything near the right size that it felt quite strange at first but she got used to it in a few minutes and began talking to herself as usual come there's half my plan done now puzzling all these changes are I'm never sure what I'm going to be from one minute to another however I've got back to my right size the next thing is to get into that beautiful garden how is that to be done I wonder as she said this she came suddenly upon an open place with a little house in it about four feet high whoever lives there thought Alice it'll never do to come upon them this size why I should frighten them out of their wits so she began nibbling at the right hand bit again and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high end of chapter five of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland advice from a caterpillar ED 1048 in the case of Diabolical Sorcery in Rome by Roger of Wendover died 1236 Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles, and Conundrums this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org ED 1048 after Gregory Clement sat in the Roman Chair nine months and six days and in the same year Damasus succeeded him and sat 26 days after whose decease Leo seceded and filled the Chair five years, two months, and six days in the days of this Pope there was discovered at Rome a case of Diabolical Witchcraft unheard of in our times there lived together in a cottage situated on a public road leading to Rome two old women both given to witchcraft when a stranger came to them unattended they would transform him into a horse or swine or some other animal and they spent in drunkenness and gluttony the money they acquired by the sale of these animals it happened that these women entertained a certain youth who gained his livelihood as a juggler and was skillful in dancing and in the night they transformed him into an ass and made much gain by him for by the change the youth had by no means lost his understanding with his speech but performed as an ass whatever tricks and vagaries the old women bade him the ass's fame spread through the country a certain wealthy man came and bought him of the witches for a large sum of money and as he took the ass away they wanted him to keep the ass from getting into water if he would have daily entertainment from him accordingly the rich man set a vigilant keeper over the ass and whenever he wished for amusement he delighted his guests with the ass's tricks satiated at last with this sort of entertainment the ass was kept with less vigilance and one day breaking his halter he made his escape and plunged into a neighboring pool where after a few turns in the water he recovered his human form the ass's keeper followed him and on sight of the man asked him whether he had seen an ass the man replied that he was the ass and that he had lately resumed the human form and then related the whole of his adventures the man in amazement related the story to his master who communicated it to Pope Leo before whom the women were at last convicted and made confession of their guilt but on the pope expressing his doubts and affirming that it was a frivolous tale Peter Damien proved the truth of it and cited the case of Simon Magus who made Faustian appear in the likeness of the said Simon to the horror of his sons end of ed 1048 and the case of diabolical sorcery in Rome Cleopatra, how did she die? from famous mysteries curious and fantastic riddles of human life that have never been solved by John Alfred Watkins coffee break collection 23 mysteries, riddles, and conundrums this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Andrea Kotzer Cleopatra, how did she die? for her actual beauty it is said not in itself so remarkable that none could be compared with her or that no one could see her without being struck by it but the contact of her presence if you lived with her was irresistible the attraction of her person joining with the charm of her conversation and the character that attended all she said or did was something bewitching it was a pleasure merely to hear the sound of her voice with which, like an instrument of many strings she could pass from one language to another so that there were few of the barbarian nations that she answered by an interpreter in these words did Plutarch describe Cleopatra, the last queen of Egypt daughter of Ptolemy Olides this arch-temptress of all the ages was born at Alexandria Egypt 69 years BC and with her brother Ptolemy became joint ruler over Egypt when she was a sprightly girl of 18 after having enjoyed a reign of but three years she was dethroned by her brother's partisans while the respective armies were preparing for war Caesar arrived in Egypt and reinstated her upon her throne then followed a liaison between the young queen of the Nile and the middle-aged conqueror of the world it lasted until there was born to them a son, Caesarean and during two years afterward at which time Cleopatra lived with Caesar in Rome not returning to Egypt until after his murder in the senate three years later the calm of the siren of the Nile was to be again disturbed by a noble Roman this time the handsome and dashing Mark Antony who had been appointed ruler of Asia and the East being summoned before Antony to answer accusations of having aided his enemies Cleopatra came sailing to him in a barge with gilded stern and outspread sails of purple while ores of silver be timed to the music of flutes and fives and harps she herself lay all alone under a canopy of cloth of gold dressed as Venus in a picture and beautiful young boys like painted cupids stood on each side to fan her her maids were dressed like sea nymphs and graces some steering at the rudder some working at the ropes as a result of this excursion Antony became her captive instead of her captor were Antony serious or disposed to mirth says Plutarch she had at any moment some new delight or charm to meet his wishes at every turn she was upon him and let him escape her neither by day nor by night she played at dice with him drank with him hunted with him and when he exercised in arms she was there to see as a result of this adventure Antony divorced his wife the sister of the Emperor Augustus which resulted in the Emperor's declaring war on Cleopatra the fleet of Antony and Cleopatra was defeated by that of Augustus when the little queen was 38 years old she fled from the Romans followed by her lover who, on hearing a false report of her death killed himself to make Augustus' triumph complete it was decreed that Cleopatra should be exhibited in Rome but she thwarted these arrangements visiting the monument which sheltered Antony's tomb she set herself up therein with only her two maids of honor she wrote to the Emperor a letter making pathetic entreaties that she might be buried in the tomb with Antony later when some soldiers opened the doors of the monument they found the beautiful Cleopatra dead lying upon a bed of gold set out in all her royal ornaments her two maids by her side in the dying condition as to how Cleopatra met her death has for centuries been one of the riddles of the Sphinx one story was that just before she shot herself in the tomb a countryman bearing a basket of figs was allowed to pass the guards and enter her presence with an asp hidden under the fruit by allowing the serpent to sting her some say upon the arm she is alleged to have committed suicide according to another account she kept the asp in a vase and with a golden spindle tantalized it until it stung her another story was that she killed herself with poison carried in a hollow bodkin upon which she wound her wonderful hair but it has been argued that if she had chosen any serpent to sting her it would have been the small viper rather than the large asp moreover it is related that she was found dead without any mark or suspicion of poison on her body and that a serpent's bite would have left an unmistakable blemish many authorities have argued that Cleopatra's vanity would never have allowed her to select a mode of death that would have disfigured her so frightfully as a serpent sting what really took place is known to no one says Plutarch end of Cleopatra How Did She Die recording by Andrea Kotzer The Conclave of the Universe by Stanton A. Koblenz Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles and Conundrums LibriVox Recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Anita Sloma Martinez The Conclave of the Universe Far in the depths of sidereal distance Far where the suns by the million are flying Planets are whirling in comets Careering nebulae swirling in cosmos of light Flows from the corners of infinite vastness Floated together the spirits and dying Woffded from billions of creatures Departing from billions of worlds that revolved through the night One from each planet, its greatest and wisest One out of all that had lived in all ages Joined that assemblage of spirits Convening far at the uttermost border of space Long they debated for laws universal Were probed by those sages Secrets of life and this struggle at wages Riddles of death and of time and of place Suns by the cluster and clusters of clusters Are blazing about us, the spirits were saying Galaxies bright whose unthinkable vastness Is yet in the cosmos unthinkably small Myriad worlds with a myriad creatures Loving and hoping and toiling and slaying Battling to live and replenish their species What is the reason, the goal of it all? Sadly a murmur arose from Orion Long have we sought and the gloom is unsounded Sadly from Vega and soft from Polaris Voices were calling, we seek but in vain One from Capella was sighing, no answer And one from Arcturus, the night is unbounded Souls from the Pleiades, muttered astounded The darkness can never be cloven in twain All being helpless to solve the enigma All flitted back to the realm once they parted Wisest of all of the infinite billions Of beings residing in infinite space Still as forever the comets went roving Planets gyrated and meteors darted Suns as the sands that are tossed On the storm wind whirled through the void In an archical rays End of the Conclave of the Universe A blind chord draws across the windowsill How smooth the floor of the ward is, what a rug And who's that talking, somewhere out of sight Why are they laughing, what's inside that joke Nurse, doctor, yes all right, all right But sudden dusk bewelders all the air There seems no time to want a drink of water Nurse looks so far away and everywhere Music and roses burnt through crimson slaughter Cold, cold, he's cold and yet so hard And there's no light to see the voices by No time to dream and ask he knows not what End of Consciousness The disappearance of Dorothy Arnold From famous mysteries, curious and fantastic Riddles of human life that have never been Solved by John Alfred Watkins Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, riddles and conundrums This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Andrea Kotzer The Disappearance of Dorothy Arnold Christmas night 1910 The newspapers receive their first details Of the most baffling disappearance mystery That has vexed the world since the kidnapping of Charlie Ross Thirteen days before, on December 12th Dorothy Harriet Camille Arnold Daughter of Francis R. Arnold A wealthy perfumer re-importer At 1130 a.m. left her mother at the family residence 108 East 79th Street, New York Announcing that she was about to visit the 5th Avenue shops In search of a dress Promising to call her mother on the telephone As soon as she found something to her taste She walked from her home to Park and Tilford store At 5th Avenue in 59th Street Where she purchased a pound of candy Although she had from $20 to $30 in her pocketbook She had the confections charged It was just about noon when she left the candy shop Later she entered Brentanos in 26th Street Where she bought a volume of humorous epigrams Entitled, An Engaged Girl's Sketches After emerging from the bookstore at 2.45 p.m. She met a young woman friend Who congratulated her upon her healthful appearance I am feeling fine, said Miss Arnold Who, turning north, added I am going to walk home through Central Park That was the last trace of Miss Arnold Known to her friends or relatives She was of a wealthy family, proud of its pedigree Her father traced his ancestry Direct to the pilgrims of Plymouth Rock She was 26 years old, about 5 feet 4 inches tall And weighed 140 pounds Had a fair complexion, dark brown hair And grayish blue eyes All told, she was a girl of striking appearance The pink of delicacy, dignity, and refinement She wore a tailor-made blue-surge suit And black velvet hat trimmed with two silk roses She carried a black fox muff She was strong and athletic, extensively traveled And accustomed to going about alone She had a very cultured voice Whose accent was described as somewhat like that of a French woman She was a Bryn Maw graduate with literary tastes Lately she had written a love story Entitled Poinsettia Flames Also some verses, Lotus Leaves Which she was endeavoring to have published She had very conventional tastes Was said to be the last woman in New York Who would ever elect to visit the Bohemian cafes She was not interested in the stage, in settlement work Or any fads that would take her out of the paths Frequented by conventional people At the time of her disappearance She had out invitations for a tea In honor of 60 Bryn Maw schoolmates This function was to have been given five days After she vanished A search of her room showed that she had left behind All of her jewelry of value A large batch of personal letters Everything indicated that her disappearance Had not been premeditated Had she planned to leave home without taking her parents Into her confidence She would probably have carried off her jewels In order to realize upon them Had she planned suicide She would not have purchased sweet meats And humorous epigrams In the moments directly following A last farewell to her mother Her clothing being of the finest quality And bearing the labels of the most exclusive modists It is inconceivable That her body could have been found Without exciting notoriety Unless the discoverers of her remains Wish to conceal her fate Among her friends She was known to be popular among many men But sentimentally inclined toward none Yet the private letters found in her room Disclosed one romance She was apparently about to become engaged At first the Arnold family Concealed their daughter's disappearance from the press But realizing the value of newspaper aid In such an emergency Their attorneys at last gave out a bulletin To the reporters Thereafter, a series of conflicting statements And retractions served only to deepen the mystery There was issued the statement That Mrs. Arnold was ensconced in a winter resort Awaiting news of her daughter But investigation showed that she and her son Were in Europe It was stated that Mrs. Arnold had no love affairs But the reporters confronted the family's attorney With alleged evidence that she had been carrying on A clandestine correspondence with the Pittsburgh bachelor In spite of the general belief That Mrs. Arnold was still alive Her family went into deep mourning for her Evidence of their absolute ignorance Of her whereabouts Is the fact that their personal attorney Traveled thousands of miles to interview Police and detective authorities And visit sanitariums and retreats of all kinds Wherein the young woman might be hidden Virtually every newspaper in the world Has published her picture and description Both the old world and the new Have been scoured for evidences of her fate Hundreds of thousands of circulars Have been sent to postmasters And police officials everywhere And her picture was flashed upon the screens Of hundreds of photo playhouses Her parents have made several trips to Europe In search of her And hundreds of thousands of dollars have been spent In trying to answer the riddle of her fate It has baffled William J. Flynn Head of the United States Secret Service William J. Burns Detective Agency Sir E. R. Henry Chief of Scotland Yard And other of the greatest detectives Of the old and new worlds End of The Disappearance of Dorothy Arnold Recording by Andrea Kotzer A Fable By Mark Twain Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, riddles and conundrums This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by William Jones Benita Springs, Florida A Fable Once upon a time An artist who had painted a small And very beautiful picture Placed it so that he could see it in the mirror He said This doubles the distance and softens it And it is twice as lovely as it was before All the animals out in the woods Heard this through the house cat Who was greatly admired by them Because he was so learned And so refined and civilized And so polite and high-bred And could tell them so much Which they didn't know before And are not certain about afterward They were much excited By this new piece of gossip And they asked questions So as to get at a full understanding of it They asked what picture it was And the cat explained It is a flat thing, he said Wonderfully flat, marvelously flat Enchantingly flat and elegant And oh, so beautiful That excited them almost to a frenzy And they said they would give the world to see it Then the bear asked What is it that makes it so beautiful? It is the looks of it, said the cat This filled them with admiration and uncertainty And they were more excited than ever Then the cow asked What is a mirror? It is a hole in the wall, said the cat You look in it And there you see the picture And it is so dainty and charming And ethereal and inspiring in its unimaginable beauty That your head turns round and round And you almost swoon with ecstasy The ass had not said anything as yet He now began to throw doubts He said there had never been anything as beautiful as this before And probably wasn't now He said that when it took a full basketful Of sesquipedilian adjectives to whomp up Such a thing of beauty, it was time for suspicion It was easy to see That these doubts were having an effect upon the animals So the cat went off, offended The subject was dropped for a couple of days But in the meantime curiosity was taking a fresh start And there was a revival of interest perceptible Then the animals assailed the ass For spoiling what could possibly have been a pleasure to them Only mere suspicion that the picture was not beautiful Without any evidence that such was the case The ass was not troubled He was calm and said that there was one way To find out who was in the right Himself or the cat He would go and look in that hole And come back and tell what he found there The animals felt relieved and grateful And asked him to go at once Which he did But he did not know where he ought to stand And so, through error He stood between the picture and the mirror The result was that the picture had no chance And didn't show up He returned home and said The cat lied There was nothing in that hole but an ass There wasn't a sign of a flat thing visible It was a handsome ass And friendly But just an ass And nothing more The elephant asked Did you see it good and clear? Were you close to it? I saw it good and clear O hatha king of beasts I was so close that I touched noses with it This is very strange, said the elephant The cat was always truthful before As far as we could make out Let another witness try Go baloo, look in the hole And come and report So the bear went When he came back he said Both the cat and the ass have lied There was nothing in the hole but a bear Great was the surprise And puzzlement of the animals Each was now anxious to make the test himself And get at the straight truth The elephant sent them in one at a time First the cow She found nothing in the hole but a cow The tiger found nothing in it but a tiger The lion found nothing in it but a lion The leopard found nothing in it but a leopard The camel found a camel and nothing more When hatha was wroth It said he would have the truth If he had to go in and fetch it himself When he returned he abused his whole Subjectory for liars And was in an unappeasable fury With the moral and mental blindness of the cat He said that anybody but a nearsighted fool Could see that there was nothing in the hole But an elephant, moral by the cat You can find in a text whatever you bring If you will stand between it And the mirror of your imagination You may not see your ears But they will be there End of A Fable by Mark Twain How Rome Fell to the Visigoths By Procopius 500-570 AD From the History of the Wars Book 3 Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles and Conundrums This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Now while Honorius was holding the Imperial power in the West Barbarians took possession of his land And I shall tell you who they were And in what manner they did so There were many Gothic nations in earlier times Just as also at the present But the greatest and most important of all Are the Goths, Vandals, Visigoths And Gepides In ancient times, however They were named Suramate And Malenchini And there were some too Who called these nations Getic All these, while they are distinguished From one another by their names As has been said Do not differ in anything else at all For they all have white bodies And fair hair, and are tall And handsome to look upon And they use the same laws And practice a common religion For they are all of the Aryan faith And have one language called Gothic And as it seems to me They all came originally from one tribe And were distinguished later By the names of those who led each group These people used to dwell Above the Easter River from of old Later on the Gepides got possession Of the country of Singedunum And Sermium On both sides of the Easter River Where they have remained settled Even down to my time But the Visigoths, separating from the others Removed from there and at first Entered into an alliance with The Emperor Arcadius But at a later time For faith with the Romans Cannot dwell in barbarians Under the leadership of Alaric They came hostile to both emperors And beginning with Thrace Treated all Europe as an enemy's land Now the Emperor Honorius Had before this time been sitting in Rome With never a thought of war in his mind But glad, I think, if men allowed him To remain quiet in his palace But when word was brought That the barbarians with a great army Were not far off, but somewhere Among the Tolante He abandoned the palace and fled In disorderly fashion to Ravenna A strong city lying just about At the end of the Ionian Gulf While some say that he brought in The barbarians himself because An uprising had been started Against him among his subjects But this does not seem to me trustworthy As far at least as one can judge From the character of the man The barbarians finding that they had No hostile force to encounter them Came to be most cruel to all men For they destroyed all the cities Which they captured, especially those South of the Ionian Gulf So completely that nothing was left To my time to know them by Unless indeed it might be one tower Or one gate or some such thing Which chance to remain They killed all the people As many as came in their way Both old and young alike Sparing neither women nor children Wherefore even up to the present time Italy is sparsely populated They also gathered as plunder All the money out of Europe And most important of all They left in Rome Nothing whatever of public Or private wealth when they Moved on to Gaul But I shall now tell how a lyric Captured Rome After much time had been spent By him in the siege And he had not been able either By force or by any other device To capture the place He formed the following plan Among the youths in the army Whose beards had not yet grown But who had just come of age He chose out three hundred whom He knew to be of good birth And possessed of valor beyond their years And told them secretly that he was About to make a present of them To certain of the patricians in Rome Pretending that they were slaves And he instructed them that as soon As they got inside the houses of those men They should display much gentleness And moderation And serve them eagerly in whatever Tasks should be laid upon them By their owners And he further directed them That not long afterwards On an appointed day at about midday When all those who were to be their masters Would most likely be already asleep After their meal They should all come to the gate Called Salarian And with a sudden rush Kill the guards Who would have no previous knowledge Of the plot and open the gates As quickly as possible Giving these orders to the youths A lyric straight away sent ambassadors To the members of the senate Stating that he admired them For their loyalty toward their emperor And that he would trouble them no longer Because of their valor and faithfulness With which it was plain that they were Endowed to a remarkable degree And in order that tokens of himself Might be preserved among men Both noble and brave He wished to present each one of them With some domestics After making this declaration And sending the youths Not long afterwards He commanded the barbarians To make preparations for the departure And he let this be known to the Romans And they heard his words gladly And receiving his gifts Began to be exceedingly happy Since they were completely ignorant Of the plot of the barbarian For the youths, by being Unusually obedient to their owners Averted suspicion And in the camp some were already Seen moving from their positions And raising the siege While it seemed that the others Were just on the point of doing The very same thing But when the appointed day had come A lyric armed his whole force For the attack And was holding them in readiness Close by the Solarian Gate For it happened That he had encamped there At the beginning of the siege And all the youths At the time of the day agreed upon Came to this gate And the sailing the guards suddenly Put them to death Then they opened the gates And received a lyric and the army Into the city at their leisure And they set fire to the houses Which were next to the gate Among which was also the house Of Salast, who in ancient times Wrote the history of the Romans And the greater part of this house Had stood, half burned Up to my time And after plundering the whole city And destroying the most of the Romans They moved on And at that time they say That the Emperor Honorius In Ravenna received the message From one of the eunuchs Evidently a keeper of the poultry That Rome had perished And he cried out and said And yet it has just Eaten from my hands For he had a very large Cock, Rome by name And the eunuch comprehending His words said that it was The city of Rome Which had perished At the hands of a lyric And the Emperor with a sigh Of relief answered quickly But I, my good fellow Thought that my foul Rome Had perished So great they say Was the folly with which This Emperor was possessed But Some say that Rome was not Captured in this way by a lyric But that proba A woman of very unusual Eminence in wealth and in fame Among the Roman Senatorial class Felt pity for the Romans Being destroyed by hunger And the other suffering they endured For they were already Even tasting each other's flesh And seeing that Every good hope had left them Since both the river and the Harbour were held by the enemy She commanded her domestics, They say, To open the gates by night End of How Rome fell to the Visigoths By Procopius Jack the Ripper From famous mysteries Curious and fantastic riddles Of human life that have never Been solved by John Alfred Watkins Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, riddles and conundrums This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings Are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Andrea Kotzer Jack the Ripper There was a rain of terror In London's Whitechapel District During the late 80s On Christmas 1887 A woman of the Demimond Was brutally murdered and mutilated And during 1888 Seven more crimes of the same Character added to the frenzy Of underworld denizens Again, in 1888 Again, in 1889 Two more victims were found And early in 1891 A twelfth All of the victims were of the class Known as street walkers And all bore the same Unmistakable marks of brutality The throat of each was cut And each body upon which The murderer apparently had had time To complete his butchery Was eviscerated in the same manner It was the methodical work Of some fiend, maniac or monster Who seemed to possess the knowledge Of surgery and anatomy He always managed to escape And apparently there was no motive Except a revolting appetite For butchery or thirst for revenge Seemingly he had no ill will Against or personal knowledge Of his victims Each of whom was of a class That he knew would place herself Voluntarily at his mercy And consciously assist him In avoiding danger of detection On the thirtieth of September, 1888 The monster murdered two of his victims One immediately after the other The fact that the first whom he killed Was not mutilated in the usual way Indicated that he had been interrupted Before completing his bloody work And being thus disturbed Before satisfying his mania For mutilation in the accustomed way He ran out and completed his work Upon the next victim whom he could find The police were non-plussed from the start The fiend appeared to change his lodgings After each murder Some newspaper scribe dubbed the monster Jack the Ripper And the name was soon upon every tongue Throughout both Europe and America It sent shivers down the spines of Londoners And for a long time limited the activities Of the class among whom the maniac Selected his victims The authorities being unable to obtain A single clue numerous private citizens Enlisted as detectives Even one of the autocratic directors Of the Bank of London disguised himself As a laborer and in heavy boots And fustion jacket with a red bandana Tied about his head and a pickax Over his shoulder Saw diversion each night Haunting neighborhoods in which he imagined Jack the Ripper would appear The distinguished criminologist L. Forbes Winslow Spent night after night in the Whitechapel slums Seeking the slayer And at one time inserted in the London papers An advertisement stating that a gentleman Strongly opposed to the presence Of fallen women in the streets of London Would like to cooperate in their suppression By this means Dr. Winslow hoped to get Into correspondence with the maniac And he received several confessions In the same handwriting Each expressed insane glee Over the hideous work And one stated that the next murder Would be committed on November 9th The fact that this prophecy was Brutally fulfilled led the doctor to believe That he had been in correspondence With Jack the Ripper himself Although previously he had suspected That someone was hoaxing him On the day prophesied The body of Mary Ann Kelly With throat cut and body eviscerated Was found on a ground floor room With an uncurtained window Through which any passerby Might have seen the crime Which had been committed in broad daylight In the handwriting of Dr. Winslow's Correspondent was at last found Beneath an archway the statement Jack the Ripper will never Commit another murder And this prophecy also seems To have been fulfilled Every investigator of the crimes Had his own theory as to Jack The Ripper's character He was variously believed to be An escaped gorilla, a Russian Discharged from a Paris asylum A man from Vienna who In a London hospital had complained Of having been robbed by a street walker And who after threatening to kill All such women had exhibited Surgical interest by asking to Witness various operations And a sufferer from masked epilepsy Who during his chronic seizures Would perform the most diabolical acts But who on returning to consciousness Was an entire ignorance of his crimes Because a slaughterhouse was found To be in close proximity to each Spot in which a victim was found One investigator, applying the law Of deduction, argued that Jack the Ripper was a butcher And on the strength of this theory Several detectives disguised as Slaughtermen went to work in these Establishments. One theory was That the murderer was a woman Disguised as a Slaughterman. The belief of Dr. Winslow Is that Jack the Ripper was a man Of position and means. A Dr. Jekyll in Mr. Hyde Phenomenon suffering from A religious monomania. And who, while his paroxysms lasted Was bent on exterminating fallen women But who, when these seizures passed off Returned to the bosom of his family Probably in the west end of London The favorite theory has been That Jack the Ripper practiced His butchery and revenge For having contracted from a woman Of whitechapel an incurable disease Which had undermined his health And unhinged his reason. Who he was and why he plied His hideous trade is the Sphinx riddle of criminology. End of Jack the Ripper Recording by Andrea Kotzer Madness by Rainer Maria Vilca Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, riddles and conundrums This is the LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Chad Horner from LibriVox Madness She thinks, I am. Have you not seen? Who are you then, Marie? I am a queen. I am a queen. To your knee, to your knee. And then she weeps. I was a child. Who were you then, Marie? Know you that I was no man's child? Per, and in rags, said she. And then a princess I became To him men bend their knees. To princes things are not the same As those a beggar says. And those things which have made you great Came to you. Tell me when. One night, one night, one night quite late Things became different then. I walked with strong cords, Seemed to bend. Then, Marie became melody Undanced from end to end. The people watched with startled, Mane and past with frightened glance. For all know that only a queen May dance in the lanes, dance. End of Madness Chapter 7 of Alice in Wonderland A Mad Tea Party by Lewis Carroll Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles, and Conundrums This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. This recording by Michelle Fry, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in October 2019. A Mad Tea Party There was a table set out under a tree In front of the house, and the March hair And the Hatter were having tea at it. A door mouse was sitting between them, Fast asleep, and the other two Were using it as a cushion, Resting their elbows on it, And talking over its head. Very uncomfortable for the door mouse, Thought Alice, only as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind. The table was a large one, But the three were all crowded Together at one corner of it. No room, no room, they cried out When I saw Alice coming. There's plenty of room, said Alice indignantly, And she sat down in the large armchair At one end of the table. Have some wine, the March hair said, In an encouraging tone. Alice looked all around the table, That there was nothing on it, but tea. I don't see any wine, she remarked. There isn't any, said the March hair. Then it wasn't very civil of you To offer it, said Alice angrily. It wasn't very civil of you To sit down without being invited, Said the March hair. I didn't know it was your table, Said Alice. It's laid for a great many more than three. Your hair wants cutting, said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time With great curiosity, And this was his first speech. You should learn not to make personal remarks, Alice said with some severity. It's very rude. The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this, But all he said was, Why is a raven like a writing desk? Come, we shall have some fun now, thought Alice. I'm glad they've begun asking riddles. I believe I can guess that, she added aloud. Do you mean you think you can find out the answer to it? Said the March hair. Exactly so, said Alice. Then you should say what you mean, The March hair went on. I do, Alice replied hastily. At least I mean what I say. That's the same thing, you know. Not the same thing a bit, said the Hatter. You might just as well say that I see what I eat is the same thing as I eat what I see. You might just as well say, added the March hair, That I like what I get is the same thing as I get what I like. You might just as well say, added the door mouse Who seemed to be talking in his sleep, That I breathe when I sleep is the same thing as I sleep when I breathe. It is the same thing with you, said the Hatter, And hear the conversation dropped, And the party sat silent for a minute, While Alice thought over all she could remember About ravens and writing desks, which wasn't much. The Hatter was the first to break the silence. What day of the month is it? He said, turning to Alice. He had taken his watch out of his pocket And was looking at it uneasily, Shaking it every now and then, And holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little and then said, The fourth. Two days wrong, sighed the Hatter. I told you, but her wouldn't suit the works. He added, looking angrily at the March Hare. It was the best butter, the March Hare meekly replied. Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well, The Hatter grumbled. You shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife. The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily, Then he dipped it into his cup of tea, And looked at it again, But he could think of nothing better to say Than his first remark. It was the best butter, you know. Alice had been looking over his shoulder With some curiosity. What a funny watch, she remarked. He tells the day of the month, And doesn't tell what o'clock it is. Why should it, muttered the Hatter? Does your watch tell you what year it is? Of course not, Alice replied very readily, But that's because it stays the same year For such a long time together. Which is just the case with mine, Said the Hatter. Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have No sort of meaning in it, And yet it was certainly English. I don't quite understand you, She said as bluntly as she could. The Dormouse is asleep again, Said the Hatter, And he poured a little hot tea upon its nose. The Dormouse shook its head impatiently And said without opening its eyes, Of course, of course. Just what I was going to remark myself. Have you guessed the riddle yet? The Hatter said, turning to Alice again. No, I give up, Alice replied. What's the answer? I haven't the slightest idea, Said the Hatter. Nor I, said the March Hare. Alice sighed wearily. I think you might do something better With the time, she said, Than wasted in asking riddles That have no answers. If you knew time as well as I do, Said the Hatter, You wouldn't talk about wasting it, It's him. And I don't know what you mean, Said Alice. Of course you don't, The Hatter said, Tossing his head contemptuously. I dare say you never even spoke to time. Perhaps not, Alice cautiously replied. But I know I have to beat time When I learn music. Ah, that accounts for it, Said the Hatter. He won't stand beating. Now, if you only keep on good terms with him, He'd do almost anything you liked with the clock. For our instance, suppose it were Nine o'clock in the morning, Just time to begin lessons. You'd only have to whisper a hint to time, And round goes the clock in a twinkling. Half past one, time for dinner. I only wish it was, The March Hare said to itself in a whisper, That would be grand, certainly, Said Alice thoughtfully. But then I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know. Not at first, perhaps, Said the Hatter, But you could keep it to half past one, As long as you liked. Is that the way you manage? Alice asked. The Hatter shook his head mournfully. Not I, he replied. We quarreled last March, Just before he went mad, you know, Pointing with his teaspoon at the March Hare. It was at the great concert, Given by the Queen of Hearts, And I had to sing, Twinkle, twinkle, little bet, How I wonder where you're at. You know the song, perhaps? I've heard something like it, said Alice. It goes on, you know, The Hatter continued, in this way. Up above the world you fly, Like a tea tray in the sky, Twinkle, twinkle. Here the doormouse shook himself, And began singing in its sleep. Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle. And went on so long that they had To pinch it to make it stop. Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse, Said the Hatter, When the Queen jumped up and bawled out, He's murdering the time, Off with his head. How dreadfully savage, Exclaimed Alice. And ever since that, The Hatter went on in a mournful tone, He won't do a thing, I ask. It's always six o'clock now. A bright idea came into Alice's head. Is that the reason so many tea things Are put out here, she asked? Yes, that's it, said the Hatter with a sigh. It's always tea time, And we've no time to wash the things Between wiles. Then you keep moving around, I suppose, Said Alice. Exactly so, said the Hatter, As the things get used up. But what happens when you come To the beginning again, Alice ventured to ask? Suppose we change the subject To the March Hare interrupted yawning. I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story. I'm afraid I don't know one, Said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal. Then the door mouse shelled, they both cried. They pinched it on both sides at once. The door mouse slowly opened his eyes. I wasn't asleep, he said in a horse-feeble voice. I heard every word you fellows were saying. Tell us a story, said the March Hare. Yes, please do, pleaded Alice. And be quick about it, added the Hatter, Or you'll be asleep again before it's done. Once upon a time there were three little sisters. The door mouse began in a great hurry, And their names were Elsie, Lacey, and Tilly, And they lived at the bottom of a well. What did they live on, said Alice, Who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking. Hmm, they lived on Tickle, Said the door mouse after thinking a minute or two. They couldn't have done that, you know, Alice gently remarked. They have been ill. So they were, said the door mouse, Very ill. Alice tried to fancy to herself What such an extraordinary way of living would be like, But it puzzled her too much, and so she went on. But why did they live at the bottom of a well? Take some more tea, the March Hare said to Alice very honestly. I've had nothing yet, Alice replied in an offended tone. So I can't take more. You mean you can't take less, said the Hatter. It's very easy to take more than nothing. Nobody asked your opinion, said Alice. Who's making personal remarks now? The Hatter asked triumphantly. Alice did not quite know what to say to this, So she helped herself to some tea and bread and butter And then turned to the door mouse and repeated her question. Why did they live at the bottom of a well? The door mouse again took a minute or two to think about it And then he said, It was a Trico well. There's no such thing. Alice was beginning very angrily But the Hatter and March Hare went shh, shh And the door mouse socally remarked, If you can't be civil You'd better finish the story for yourself. No, please go on. Alice said very humbly. I won't interrupt again. I daresay there may be one. One indeed, said the door mouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. And so these three little sisters, they were learning to draw, you know. What did they draw? Alice said, quite forgetting her promise. Trico, said the door mouse, without considering at all this time. I want to clean cup, interrupted the Hatter. Let's all move one place on. He moved on as he spoke and the door mouse followed him. The March Hare moved into the door mouse's place. And Alice, rather unwillingly, took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change. And Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk jug into his plate. Alice did not wish to offend the door mouse again, so she began very cautiously. But I don't understand. Where did they draw the Trico from? You can draw water out of a water well, said the Hatter. So I should think you could draw Trico out of a Trico well, eh, stupid? But they were in the well, Alice said to the door mouse, not choosing to notice this last remark. Of course they were, said the door mouse, well in. This answer so confused for Alice that she let the door mouse go on for some time without interrupting it. They were learning to draw. The door mouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy. And they drew all manner of things, everything that begins with an M. Why with an M? said Alice. Why not? said the March Hare. Alice was silent. The door mouse had closed its eyes by this time and was going off into a doze. But on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek and went on. That begins with an M such as mouse traps and the moon and memory and muchness. You know you say things are much of a muchness. Did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness? Really now you ask me, said Alice, very much confused. I don't think, then you shouldn't talk, said the Hatter. This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear. She got up in great disgust and walked off. The door mouse fell asleep instantly and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her. The last time she saw them, they were trying to put the door mouse into the teapot. At any rate, I'll never go there again, said Alice, as she picked her way through the wood. It's the stupidest teapotty I ever was at in all my life. Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. That's very curious, she thought, but everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once. And in she went. Once more she found herself in the long hall and close to the little glass table. Now I'll manage better this time, she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom. She had kept a piece of it in her pocket, so she was about a foot high. Then she walked down the little passage and then she found herself at last in the beautiful garden among the bright flower beds and the cool fountain. End of Chapter 7 of Alice in Wonderland, a Mad Tea Party. Mr. Bloke's Item by Mark Twain Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles and Conundrums This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Anita Sloma Martinez Mr. Bloke's Item Our esteemed friend, Mr. John William Bloke of Virginia City walked into the office where we are sub-editor at a late hour last night with an expression of profound and heartfelt suffering upon his countenance and sighing heavily laid the following item reverently upon the desk and walked slowly out again. He paused a moment at the door and seemed struggling to command his feelings sufficiently to enable him to speak. And then, nodding his head toward his manuscript, ejaculated in a broken voice, friend of mine, oh, how sad! and burst into tears. We were so moved at his distress that we did not think to call him back and endeavour to comfort him until he was gone and it was too late. The paper had already gone to press, but knowing that our friend would consider the publication of this item important and cherishing the hope that to print it would afford a melancholy satisfaction to his sorrowing heart we stopped the press at once and inserted it in our columns. Distressing Accident Last evening, about six o'clock, as Mr. William Schuyler, an old and respectable citizen of South Park, was leaving his residence to go downtown, has been his usual custom for many years with the exception only of a short interval in the spring of 1850 during which he was confined to his bed by injuries received in attempting to stop a runaway horse by thoughtlessly placing himself directly in its wake and throwing up his hands and shouting, which if he had done so even a single moment sooner must inevitably have frightened the animal still more instead of checking its speed although disastrous enough to himself as it was and rendered more melancholy and distressing by reason of the presence of his wife's mother who was there and saw the sad occurrence now withstanding it is at least likely, though not necessarily so, that she should be reconnoitering in another direction when incidents occur, not being vivacious and on the lookout as a general thing but even the reverse as her own mother is said to have stated who is no more but died in the full hope of a glorious resurrection upwards of three years ago aged 86 being a Christian woman and without guile as it were or property in consequence of the fire of 1849 which destroyed every single thing she had in the world but such as life let us all take warning by the solemn occurrence and let us endeavor so to conduct ourselves that when we come to die we can do it let us place our hands upon our heart and say with earnestness and sincerity and from this day forth we will beware of the intoxicating bowl first edition of the Californian the head editor has been in here raising the mischief and tearing his hair and kicking the furniture about and abusing me like a pickpocket he says that every time he leaves me in charge of the paper for half an hour I get imposed upon by the first infant or the first idiot that comes along and he says that that distressing item of Mr. Blokes is nothing but a lot of distressing bosh and has no point to it and no sense in it and no information in it and that there was no sort of necessity for stopping the press to publish it now all this comes of being good-hearted if I had been as unaccommodating and unsympathetic as some people I would have told Mr. Blokes that I wouldn't receive his communication at such a late hour but no his snuffling distress touched my heart and I jumped at the chance of doing something to modify his misery I never read his item to see whether there was anything wrong about it but hastily wrote the few lines which preceded it and sent it to the printers and what has my kindness done for me? it has done nothing but bring down upon me a storm of abuse and ornamental blasphemy now I will read that item myself and see if there is any foundation for all this fuss and if there is the author of it shall hear from me I have read it and I am bound to admit that it seems a little mixed at a first glance however I will peruse it once more I have read it again and it does really seem a good deal more mixed than ever I have read it over five times but if I can get at the meaning of it I wish I may get my just desserts it won't bear analysis there are things about it which I cannot understand at all it don't say whatever became of William Schuyler it just says enough about him to get one interested in his career and then drops him who is William Schuyler anyhow and what part of South Park did he live in and if he started downtown at six o'clock did he ever get there and if he did did anything happen to him is he the individual that met with a distressing accident considering the elaborate circumstantiality of detail observable in the item it seems to me that it ought to contain more information than it does on the contrary it is obscure and not only obscure but utterly incomprehensible was the breaking of Mr. Schuyler's leg fifteen years ago the distressing accident that plunged Mr. Bloke into unspeakable grief and caused him to come up here at dead of night to stop our press to acquaint the world with the circumstance or did the distressing accident consist in the destruction of Schuyler's mother-in-law's property in early times or did it consist in the death of that person herself three years ago albeit it does not appear that she died by accident in a word what did that distressing accident consist in what did that dribbling ass of a Schuyler stand in the wake of a runaway horse-war with his shouting and gesticulating if he wanted to stop him and how the mischief could he get run over by a horse that had already passed beyond him and what are we to take warning by and how is this extraordinary chapter of incomprehensibilities going to be a lesson to us and above all what has the intoxicating bull got to do with it anyhow it has not stated the Schuyler drank or that his wife drank or that his mother-in-law drank or that the horse drank wherefore then the reference to the intoxicating bull it does seem to me that if Mr. Bloke had let the intoxicating bull alone himself he never would get into so much trouble about this exasperating imaginary accident I have read this absurd item over and over again with all its insinuating plausibility until my head swims but I can make neither head nor tail of it there certainly seems to have been an accident of some kind or other but it is impossible to determine what the nature of it was or who was the sufferer by it I do not like to do it but I feel compelled to request that the next time anything happens to one of Mr. Bloke's friends he will append such explanatory notes to his account of it as will enable me to find out what sort of an accident it was and to whom it happened I had rather all his friends should die than that I should be driven to the verge of lunacy again in trying to cipher out the meaning of another such production as the above End of Mr. Bloke's Item The Mysterious Origin of Fires by James Scott Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles and Conundrums This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Mysterious Origin of Fires Outbreaks of fire are often most mysterious in their origin We are frequently confronted with problems concerning the cause of fires in houses, factories and fields that are utterly baffling and insoluble Yet in what simple ways we may be victimized the examples given in this article afford most striking proof A man may leave his house untenanted for a few moments and almost before he has passed beyond sight of it the flames will have broken out in the most bewildering manner A haystack may catch fire and involve in suspicion the last person known to have been near it Natural spontaneous combustion will often be responsible for such a crisis and I have heard of one case in which a box of matches unintentionally left by a haymaker in the middle of a stack acted as the centre of a conflagration In the cases now illustrated the enemy was caught in the act but in every example had it not been discovered just in time there would have been another mystery added to the long list for who could have conjectured the curious origins as they are here set forth It was my own experience to observe the suspicious movements of a wheel of thread in this dangerous connection and indeed the transaction suggested the preparation of this article A newly obtained wheel of linen thread had been placed on a mantle shelf thousands of people must be doing such a thing continually and I noticed that the springiness of the unfastened thread caused a mass of it to be raised above the wheel when it tumbled forward and gradually unwound its coils lowering its waving extremity nearer and nearer to a coal fire the draught of which sucked it towards the flame A tiny spark was engendered and this rose rather prettily along the glossy line until it reached the sharp edge of the mantle shelf when it became extinguished this danger was obliterated but suppose that the shelf, as is often the case, had borne a fringe of some inflammable material this would assuredly have ignited and would probably have spread the flames over the entire room it may be noted that the smoothness and springiness of a wheel of linen thread is very different from the clinging surface of a wheel of cotton thread it is the simplest natural operation when lighting a candle to place the box of matches close at hand in the vicinity of the candlestick the doing of this trifling act nearly resulted one summer time in a catastrophe everyone must have seen how limp and helpless a candle will become on a warm summer's evening and it was on the count of this weakness in the candle that the danger arose little by little it drooped towards the slightly open box of safety matches into which it at length plunged its flame causing a sudden burst of fire accentuated by the presence of the warm wax which had fallen from the inverted extremity the table carried several odds and ends of the character generally to be found on a workman's kitchen table and had the outbreak not been immediately extinguished the whole place might soon have been alight to the marvel of its inhabitants a specimen of frustrated danger arising from a gas bracket may very appropriately come next one could hardly foresee that in placing a child's woolen ball and bat on a shelf above a gas jet a possibility was aroused of setting fire to the premises although when such a transaction as that is sketched in detail extra careful people might be led to suspect that the idea of danger would have occurred to them the gas bracket, however, might have been at right angles to the wall when the things were placed on the shelf and then later on have been thoughtlessly pushed back by someone else at any rate the ball under the impulse of a gust from an open window was seen to roll off, first canoning slightly against the wall so receiving sufficient impetus to jerk it over the gas globe into which it fell with the result that falling pieces of fired wool were quickly being blown helter-skelter all over the apartment where they might have inflicted extensive damage if they had remained unchecked in their flight a scullery made or anyone else for that matter would not think twice about placing a box of matches on the ledge of a sink even in the event of a lamp being situated at a lower level on a stool nearby now in the following case the combination of circumstances was indeed remarkable the waste pipe was stopped up so that the water dripping from the tap slowly filled up the sink when the water had risen to the level of the ledge it gracefully tilted the matchbox which fell straight onto the top of the lamp chimney shedding its fiery contents into the flare and of course considerably endangering surrounding articles fortunately matters went no farther but I am justified in supposing that had they done so all concerned would soon have been asking how did it start without having the remotest chance of the truth dawning upon their minds moths and flames are universally connected yet few people suspect that danger could arise therefrom the insects are of such frail structure that generally they get destroyed before it is possible for them to inflict injury and it is hardly credible that the wings would ignite and retain the flame long enough to enable the moth to fly to its surroundings that however is what occurred on the following occasion the moth was a large one and its wings must have been very dry so that when it floundered through the flame it set fire to one wing and darted onto a curtain nearby which at once flared up it is possible that many summer evening fires in the country could be attributed to a source of this kind it is notorious that mysterious fires often arise at sunset in the hot months in this case the adherent wax may have helped the wings to keep a light the last of our examples is certainly the most extraordinary of them all a box of lucifers had been thrown upon the mantel shelf and an American clock evidently put in front of them at a later period so close as to be an actual contact eventually the key drop on the back during its slow revolutions had managed effectively to pinch in and hold the matches tightly between itself and the shelf and the continual pressure and friction on the heads resulted in their ignition which soon extended to their companions one might mainly try to repeat a performance successfully accomplished by chance everyone has seen or heard of haphazard occurrences which could never be repeated however carefully attempted something sticks in a comical position when thrown something else undergoes peculiar maneuvers but never again is it likely to occur either by accident or design end of the mysterious origin of fires 1619 and the Negro in Virginia by C. Braxton Bryan Coffee break collection 23 mysteries, riddles and conundrums this is a LibriVox recording a LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org 1619 and the Negro in Virginia a paper read before the Diocesan Council in Petersburg, Virginia June 1904 it is generally stated that the first Negroes brought to Virginia were 20 in number and that they were brought about the 1st of September 1619 in a Dutch ship which came to Jamestown and sold them or traded them for provisions but the records of the Virginia Company and the English State Papers show conclusively that the 20 Negroes who actually arrived at that time were brought not by a Dutch ship but by a famous English ship the Treasurer which belonged to Lord Rich the Earl of Warwick and others who were interested in the colony the Treasurer had been cruising in the West Indies and had captured a Spanish ship and taken her cargo these Negroes among other things it was an act not much if any short of piracy because there was peace between England and Spain it is true that a man of war of flushing did come into Jamestown in consort with the Treasurer and it was convenient to give it out that the Negroes had come in her but it afterwards transpired that they certainly came in the Treasurer and Lord Rich had trouble enough explaining the action of his ship the captain of the ship having the Negroes on his hands left a part of them in the Bermudas where Lord Rich had a plantation and 20 were left at Jamestown the captain was not looking for Negroes and it was an accident that they were found in the captured Spanish ship and so brought to Virginia but neither were there any scruples about taking them as Lord Rich had already received a charter from King James authorizing himself and about 40 other prominent Englishmen to engage in the Guinea and Binney trade on the coast of Africa in this way the Negro began to be introduced but very few at first in February 1624 there were only 22 Negroes in Virginia in a muster of the plantation in Elizabeth City County the corporation of Elizabeth City as it was then called in June 1625 there were but three Negroes in the population of 345 these were two of the original 20 named Antony and Isabelle their child, born in Virginia, was named William probably after the owner, Captain William Tucker who was commander of the corporation this child was baptized the list of the living and dead in Virginia at this period shows that apart from the massacre of 1622 about 25% of the population died year by year of sickness while the interesting fact is also disclosed that not only were no Negroes killed by the Indians in the massacre but only one Negro had died although three more had been imported making 22 Negroes in Virginia in February 1624 this afforded a strong motive for the introduction of more Negroes which was gradually acted upon Captain Tucker had also an Indian servant named William Crenshaw after a distinguished clergyman in England who was a great friend of the colony this Indian was also baptized his Indian name had been Kupanky thus the first recorded baptisms of this parish are of an Indian and a Negro child there were three ministers of the gospel in Elizabeth City about this time Reverend George Keith from 1617 until 1625 Reverend Jonas Stockton 1621 to 1628 and Reverend Mr. Bolton 1621 to 1623 which of them had the privilege of baptizing this Indian and this Negro child probably the first Negro born in Virginia cannot now be told one other Negro child is recorded as being in James City in 1625 Negroes had been taken to the Bermudas by the English three years before they were brought to Virginia i.e. in the summer of 1616 end of 1619 in the Negro in Virginia on teaching by Khalil Gibran Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles and Conundrums this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Chad Horner from Liverpool on teaching then set a teacher speak to us of teaching and he said no man can reveal to you odd but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge the teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple among his followers gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness if he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind the astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space but he cannot give you his understanding the musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space but he cannot give you the air which arrests the rhythm or the voice that echoes it and he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight a measure but he cannot conduct you thither for the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man and even as each of you stands alone in God's knowledge so must each one of you be alone in his knowledge of God and in his understanding of the earth end of Aum teaching All LibraVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibraVox.org Recording by Colleen McMahon The Smart Mystery A young man of twenty years and a girl of eighteen were the objects of a great deal of sympathy when the Titanic went down last April They were the children, according to gossip of James Montgomery Smart who perished in the wreck orphaned and desolate somewhere in Europe where they were supposed to be finishing their education the hearts of the multitude went out to them Through the American consuls in Europe a persistent search was made for them without a veil It is clear that they did not read the newspapers however intelligent they might be neither did they dwell among people who kept in touch with the news of the day We had been accustoming ourselves to say that the world is very small but it seemed large in view of the seeming fact that the two full grown children of a man who had died in a disaster which had shocked all mankind and had left property could not be located or identified They were, to be sure, found or nearly found last August in Belgium and it was learned then that their names were George and Annie But this was like the innumerable discoveries of Dorothy Arnold Nothing more was heard of it The year of the Titanic disaster ended leaving the smart heirs among the missing The mystery seemed impenetrable Perhaps it was solved Monday when the will of James Montgomery Smart was filed for probate It mentions no children After providing for the payment of the testator's debts the estate is divided between two of his friends in Australia It is a natural inference that he had no children that George and Annie Smart never had any more bodily existence than the children of Gentle Elias dream that they belong like the unicorn and Washington's cherry tree to mythology But the origin of the smart children legend might be traced Perhaps one gossiping person No, not necessarily a woman may have confused Mr. Smart with another man of the same name or another name But a legend often has a slightly foundation than that It seems that all the persons who have given testimony since the wreck as to the existence of Smart's children now say that they never heard him speak of them Anyhow, he had made a will ignoring them and the will, though dated 1997, some years before his wife is supposed to have died ignores her too Did he ever have a wife? The sympathetic gossips have made Smart a man of mystery But it is likely that there is no other mystery left in his case except that ancient unsolvable mystery as to why so many people will talk confidently about matters of which they know nothing at all End of The Smart Mystery The strange escape of the king's jester A puzzling adventure by Henry Ernest de Dany Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, riddles and conundrums This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Strange Escape of the King's Jester The Puzzling Adventure This puzzle is called The Mysterious Rope At one time I was greatly in favor with the king and his majesty never seemed to worry of the companionship of the court fool I had a gift for making riddles and quaint puzzles, which often times cause great sport for albeit the king never found the right answer of one of these things in all his life yet would he make merry at the bewilderment of those about him but let every cobbler stick unto his last for when I did set out to learn the art of performing strange tricks in the magic wherein the hand doth ever deceive the eye the king was affrighted and did accuse me of being a wizard even commandy that I should be put to death Luckily my wit did save my life I begged that I might be slain by the royal hand and not by that of the executioner By the saint said his majesty What difference can it make unto thee? But since it is thy wish thou shalt have the choice whether I kill thee or the executioner Your majesty I answered I accept the choice that thou hast so graciously offered to me I prefer that your majesty should kill the executioner Yet is the life of a royal jester beset with great dangers and the king having once gotten it into his royal head that I was a wizard it was not long before I again fell into trouble from which my wit did not a second time in a like way save me I was cast into the dungeon to await my death How by the help of my gift in answering riddles and puzzles I did escape from captivity I will now set forth and in case it doth perplex any to know how some of the strange feats were performed after make the manner thereof plained all My dungeon did not lie beneath the moat but was in one of the most high parts of the castle so stout was the door and so well locked and secured with all that escape that way was not to be found By hard work I did after many days remove one of the bars from the narrow window and was able to crush my body through the opening but the distance to the courtyard below was so exceedingly great that it was certain death to drop there too Yet by great good fortune did I find in the corner of the cell a rope that had been there left and lay hidden in the great darkness but this rope had not length enough and to drop in safety from the end was no wise possible Then did I remember how the wise man from Ireland did lengthen the blanket that was too short for him by cutting yard half the bottom of the same and joining it on to the top So I made haste to divide the rope in half and to tie the two parts thereof together again It was then full long and did reach the ground and I went down in safety How could this have been end of the strange escape of the king's jester the solution to the strange escape of the king's jester the mysterious rope although the king's jester promised that he would take the rope to the other side of the cell so I made haste to divide the rope in half and to tie the two parts in safety So I made haste to divide the rope in half and to tie the two parts in safety When the jester promised that he would thereafter make the manner thereof plain to all there is no record of his having ever done so I will therefore submit to the reader my own views as to the probable solutions to the mysteries involved When the jester divided his rope in half it does not follow that he cut it into two parts I doubt he simply untwisted this strands and so divided into two ropes each of the original length but one half the thickness he would thus be able to tie the two together and make a rope nearly twice the original length with which it is quite conceivable that he made good his escape from the dungeon End of the solution to the strange escape from the jester the mysterious rope The Squire's Christmas Puzzle Party from the Category Puzzles and Other Curious Problems by Henry Ernest Duttony Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles and Conundrums This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Squire's Christmas Puzzle Party This is the puzzle of the three T-Cups A fine specimen of the old English country gentleman was Squire Davidge of Stoke Corsi Hall in Somerset When the last century was yet in its youth there were few men in the west country more widely known and more generally respected and beloved than he. A born sportsman his fame extended to Exmoor itself where his daring and spondent riding in pursuit of the red deer had excited the admiration and envy of innumerable younger huntsmen But it was in his own parish and particularly in his own home that his genial hospitality generosity and rare jovial humor made him the idol of his friends and even of his relations which sometimes means a good deal At Christmas it was always an open house at Stoke Corsi Hall for if there was one thing more than another upon which Squire Davidge had very pronounced views it was on the question of keeping up in a royal fashion the great festival of Yuletide Harky my lads you would say to his sons our country will begin to fall on evil days if ever we grow indifferent to the claims of those Christmas festivities that have helped win us the proud name of Mary England Therefore when I say that Christmas at Stoke Corsi was kept up in the good old happy rollicking festive style that our grandfathers and great grandfathers so dearly loved it will be unnecessary for me to attempt a description we have a faithful picture of these Mary scenes in the Bracebridge Hall of Washington Irving I must confine the sketch to one special feature in the Squires round of Jollification during the season of peace and goodwill he took a curious and intelligent interest in puzzles of every kind and there was always one night devoted to what was known as Squire Davidge's puzzle party every guest was expected to come armed with some riddle or puzzle for the Wildermen impossible delectation of the company the old gentleman always presented a new watch to the guest who was most successful in his answers it is a pity that all the puzzles were not preserved but I propose to present to my readers a few selective from a number that had passed down to a surviving member of the family who has kindly allowed me to use them on this occasion there are some very easy ones a few that are moderately difficult and one hard brain record so all should be able to find something to their taste the little record is written in the neat angular hand of a young lady of that day and the puzzles the conditions of which I think best to give mainly in my own words for the sake of clearness appeared to have been all propounded on one occasion this recording includes one of the puzzles entitled the three teacups one lady of whom our fair historian records with delightful inconsequence this Miss Charity Locker has since been married to a curate from Taunton Vale placed three empty teacups on a table and challenged anybody to put 10 lumps of sugar in them so that there would be an odd number of lumps in every cup one young man who has been at Harvard University and is studying the law declared with some heat that beyond a doubt there was no possible way of doing it and he offered to give proof of the fact to the company it must have been interesting to see his face when he was shown Miss Charity's correct answer end of an excerpt from the Squires Christmas Puzzle Party The Squires Christmas Puzzle Party by Henry Ernest DeDaney from the Canterbury Puzzles and other curious problems this is the solution for his puzzle entitled the three teacups Coffee Break Collection 23 Mysteries, Riddles and Conundrums this is a LibriVox recording while LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Squires Christmas Puzzle Party How the various tricks were done the record of one of Squires' davidges annual puzzle parties made by the old gentleman's young lady relative who had often spent a merry Christmas at Stoke Corsi Hall does not contain the solutions of the mysteries so I'll give my own answers to the puzzles and try to make them as clear as possible to those who may be more or less novices in such matters this is the solution for the three teacups Ms. Charity Lockyer clearly must have had a trick up her sleeve and I think it highly probable that it was conceived on the following lines she proposed that ten lumps of sugar should be placed in three teacups so that there should be an odd number of lumps in every cup the illustration here perhaps shows Ms. Charity's answer and the figures on the cups indicate the number of lumps that have been separately placed in them by placing the cup that holds one lump inside the one that holds two lumps it can be correctly stated that every cup contains an odd number of lumps one cup holds seven lumps another holds one lump while the third cup holds three lumps it is evident that if a cup contains another cup it also contains the content of that second cup there are in all 15 different solutions to the puzzle here they are 109 145 901 307 703 721 127 523 541 505 343 361 325 163 181 the first numbers in a triplet represent respectively the number of lumps to be placed in the inner and outer of the two cups that are placed one inside the other it will be noted that the outer cup of the pair may itself be empty and of the solution for the Squires Christmas Puzzle Party