 Good day, May 40 here. So let's say you're in a situation you don't like Let's say your state your country your people Heading in a direction you don't like Or you're in a profession that's heading in a direction that you don't like what can you do? So I noticed for many people they think that fight or flight or freeze is An either or proposition and it's not You can simultaneously fight in one area flee in another area and Join in another area So let's say you don't like the direction of the United States of America with regard to immigration policy so you can Donate to anti-immigration forces you can post Anonymously online with relatively little danger You can lobby you can you can do all sorts of things to fight America's immigration policy at the same time you can flee right there are plenty of parts of America with very few immigrants, so if being around Like red-blooded Americans like yourself is a very high priority then you can move to an area where you're around people like yourself You might just move to a different neighborhood in your in your community Right, you might need to work a little harder to move into a more expensive neighborhood So you can simultaneously fight in one area you can flee in another area and You can join in another area. You might join the Republican Party. You might join some immigration restrictionist groups So you might join the American political process in ways you haven't done before So you can both fight Flee and join and these aren't mutually exclusive so Let's say There's there's a problem, you know, there are major problems in your town so you can fight the problems and flee to a different part of town and Join some group in your town to tackle the problem. Let's say you don't like the direction of your profession So you can join committees or groups within your profession to fight So you can join you can fight and It may be that there are aspects of your profession that you no longer want to practice So you can simultaneously flee some aspects of your profession or you can start Making plans to flee your profession for a different profession or to retire and You can fight you can join and you can flee Simultaneously They're not either all so let's say you hate your your industry that you're in All right. So one thing you can do is You can minimize the amount of time you spend in that industry You can minimize the interpenetration of that industry with the rest of your life. So for example, I wrote about the pornography industry for about a decade and When I quit I didn't take anyone with me All right, so the pornography industry was an industry I wrote about But it didn't interpenetrate much with my social life so I had acquaintances in the porn industry and I had friends in the industry as long as I was in the industry but It wasn't in the core of my life so that when I walked away. I walked away and I didn't take anyone with me so Another thing that I did when I was writing on the porn industry. So I minimized Making money from the industry. So even though I had financial problems I would never like go sell screeners that I got, you know, I could get unlimited numbers of review copies of porn productions That I could write about on my blog and I could have sold them But I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to soil myself that way so I Minimized my interaction with the industry. I did not allow it into the core of my life So I fled from the industry in many ways. I kept it out of the core of my life and I wrote about it with it with a skeptical eye and at the same time I had to join to the extent that I needed access to sources. So simultaneously practicing fight Flea join Now I've written a great deal about the distant right on and off over the past two decades So I never made any deep friendships in the distant right so I kept the distant right out of the core of my life and I've never had Big desire to fight the distant right, but when I yeah when I think it's gone off the rails Where it's where it's being antisocial and destructive to people's lives that I point that out So there are aspects of the distant right that I fight. I Guess there are aspects of the distant right that I've joined in the sense that I've had many conversations with people I've got many acquaintances on the distant right and Yep, I'll look at the semi-so fine and So that and so there's some fighting there There's some fleeing in that I kept the the core of my life separate From distant right politics and there's some joining in that I had to join with other people to have conversations and acquaintances so People think of fight flight or freeze is like all mutually exclusive and they're not you can fight in one area You can freeze or join in another area and you can flee another area of your life so You're in a profession or In a particular religious community or in a particular social group It may not be advantageous for you to publicly fight on certain cultural or political issues So you don't publicly fight on those issues you might put the well-being of your family your your professional career First so you don't publicly fight You may privately fight anonymously fight You may join groups where you think you can have an influence, right? You may join your church to kind of steer it away from the communists. You might want to take back your church from the communists So instead of dissipating your energies on say political activism You may direct your energies into your church and try to take back the Anglican church from the communists So you you join You fight where appropriate Where it's not going to significantly cost your family or your overall well-being and Then you may flee from certain aspects of say the communist takeover of your church So there may be some churches that you don't attend or Some particular meetings or services of your church that you don't attend or there may be some groups that you abstain from joining within your religious denomination So fight flight join not mutually exclusive in fact it often serves us to pursue all three strategies Simultaneously you fight in one area you join in another area you flee in another area and This may be true for relationship So I take my relationship with Ricardo like many of my favorite streams. I've done with Ricardo on the other hand When we were in a particular Twitter group, I found myself dreading logging on to this Twitter group because Ricardo what makes him great as a live streamer is that he's so in touch with his emotions and so forthright on the other hand I Did not find it Emotionally conducive to have him in a group and like firing off these really strong emotions. So I I I Changed Ricardo out of that particular Twitter group so that I wouldn't have to Encounter his rage in that Twitter group on the other hand Now I'd love to host a show with Ricardo in the future. So there are ways that I join with Ricardo there are ways that I fight with Ricardo and there are ways that I flee from Ricardo and I think that's true for all of us like there's no one in our life Who we are likely to always, you know, love the prospect of interacting with them like sometimes we just want to be left to line Sometimes we just want to interact with people at church or in business or in certain social settings so Pretty much everyone in our life. There are circumstances where we want to join with them and They're going to be circumstances where we're going to want to flee from them and There may well be situations where we want to fight them So I love the idea that we can fight Join or flee all at the same time just different aspects of the situation