 Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of the hyperbolic wine chamber where I train my ability to complain I am Tom Oliver and today I'm recording much earlier than I usually do these episodes Usually I record these around like 11 30 at night, but today we're recording at 11 30 in the morning So I thought it was a perfect time to try out a a new wine that I picked up Fourth star brewing company maple breakfast stout brewed with Rio maple syrup one pint in a can Mapples say maple C series 6.5 percent alcohol per volume Another another Vermont's a small brewery We seem to get a lot of those here in Massachusetts. We're pretty pretty close by and there's a big You know Brewing scene over there in Vermont. So this this seems like an early morning beer for an early morning kind of podcast So let's uh See what we got going on here Yeah It tastes like beer there's a little bit of a hint of maple syrup, but that I Fucking hate beer man. I don't know why I buy beer every time just like maybe I'll enjoy this one Maybe I'll enjoy this one. I don't I don't like the taste of beer People give course light and Budweiser a bunch of shit because it tastes like water, but like at least water tastes good You know what I mean? It's probably blasphemy like lots of beer enthusiasts the maple syrup It's very very subtle. It's very subtle But it does a little bit to kind of like take the edge off that like Piss and barf taste that is beer. So Uh Yeah I'll give it. I'll give it that I will give it That it is a beer, but it's one of the less offensive stronger beers that I've had What can I say? I'm a rum and vodka. Got a guy Wait shit. I forgot. I'm gonna like insert this into the beginning reminder to self insert this before I start talking. I Did you if you want to help support the wine funds? You can go to the paypal link in the description and donate wine Money for wine. You can tell me what to talk about and what wine you would like me to drink I will do my best to find it. I have a local Liquor store up the road for me. They have a pretty decent selection, but I am in the middle of nowhere So if not, I'll do I'll get the closest what I can Because the guy there is pretty good, and he knows I don't know shit about wine So if I have questions, he usually just takes pity on me. So that's them do that Suggestions are cool. Otherwise you just get noodley Videos like the one I just made that you're about to listen to okay So today we're gonna be talking about um, I don't know. I Guess we're gonna be talking about making shit making shit online and Why I'm frustrated with it and just just venting some of my personal frustrations and thought processes behind making stuff In terms of just like personal development Trying to build a personal brand and also intermixing my personal brand with the PCP and the effects that have had has had and how I feel It's working and it's not working. So that's that's what we're gonna dive into today So I don't think a lot of people Who are listening to this who listen to the PCP? Either know that I make things Or give a shit and that's not an accusation. It's just an observation It's something I've always been very curious about and not just me One of the interesting things that I've always tried to observe from from behind the scenes about doing the PCP It's like where do these people come from? What are they interested in? Why are they here? And what happens when like a Digi Bro fan finds the PCP? What do they do from that point do they do they look into everybody else? They just kind of listen to the podcast and that's it Did they even stay on the podcast in general or they just listen to ones with Digi in it and the same thing with anybody else? Like if I bring someone to the PCP Are they just gonna listen to episodes at I'm in are they gonna ignore it all together or they're gonna explore the other members you know because there's this core group of people in the PCP who listen to it that have been following all of us since the horseshoe days and I think that makes up the core audience, but we've been growing substantially Since the beginning for the most part there's been a general upward trend Since the start so there has to be at some point since no one's doing horse shit anymore That there's an audience trickling in that has no no idea about any of our backgrounds I would assume the bulk of them are probably coming from firstly Digi there was a phase where there was monkey and Nate's getting pretty big now, too So he's definitely and since Nate's the showrunner the frontrunner of the PCP I'm assuming a lot of the PCB audience has to be coming from him so But where where where do they come from? Where do they go? Where do the fans go? Bro That's that's that's always something that's that's intrigued me and there's really no way to like track it There's no hard data on it There's no way to really know Because none of us really make posts that say hey here's a new PCP episode go check it out So now we can go into like the YouTube analytics and track where viewership is coming from it just kind of happens And that's something that's always intrigued me So I've always wondered like what To people see Like how am I perceived? Externally right that's kind of interesting because I have obviously we all have limited perspective on ourselves When I'm gonna have some more maple stout hold on a second. I want to say it's growing on me, but it really isn't How am I perceived externally what what is my persona being projected outward because I can observe the persona And the image of everybody else in the group, but I can't observe my own because I'm too connected to it, you know And the reason I'm interested in that other than just general curiosity because like the internet in general fascinates me And how it grows and things of all that stuff like that, but also I Want obviously like like one of the benefits of doing the PCP. There's like three benefits right the first is like I get to hang out with people I like that's that's The good the first one the second one is I make some money, which is also very important and the third one is that it can help bolster my personal Projects right so that's like the three benefits to everybody like we all get to hang out because we don't get to do that much Otherwise we all make a bit of coin Which is handy and brings us to our long-term goal of not having to be slaves to the man And then also like we can use each other's audiences that we bring in to build our own brands My personal brand kind of sucks and I feel like because it's constantly been in this amorphous shifting thing Whereas everybody else is very much kind of concretely decided what their personal brand is going to be That my personal brand and my brand recognition and even people understanding what I do and if I do anything Has been lost and I don't blame anybody but myself for that because I've been in a long transitional period Because everybody in the PCP the exception maybe of Gibb and then obviously mage because mage doesn't do much with YouTube other than posting her animations and like give kind of like Does you want to be the art boy? He wants to be the YouTube everybody else is very firmly in the youtuber camp And you know what I even I take that back it was there very much in in the youtuber camp like at this point so Everybody kind of like settled on I'm gonna be the youtuber. I'm gonna do this gimmick, you know Nate had the best guy ever Um Digi is Digi and pivoted to anime, you know, so everybody kind of did their shit They've been locked in their shit and even Ben who's not really on YouTube was locked into shit He's doing the vapors and champion. I have been floating around in space For ever since 2015 when I stopped doing MLP. It was like, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna try writing Guess not. I'm gonna try drawing and comicking. I guess not I'm gonna try doing this rubble pixels thing and try and like review art things and talk about art Just because I like being an artist and that whole field interest me and like entrepreneurship Maybe I'll try starting an email marketing business I don't really think this is as hype as all the people making money off of selling courses or online Email marketing is really selling out to me So now I'm in 3d and I don't think anybody even really knows on the PCP that I do 3d I just looked at like some of the past PCP episodes. They're all linking to my old channel. That's dead and I don't even use anymore and There are people in the comments saying like well The only reason Tom's on the PCP is because like he knows these people and if he didn't already know them Like they wouldn't give them a time of day and they're right. I don't care what anybody says. They're right But what I want to do is I want to understand what how my personal brand is being Perceived and then fix it so I can more accurately Explain who I am what I do and why anyone should care and I guess maybe that's partially the point of doing this episode On this topic is to be like hey guys for all like 300 people who listen to this that care about my personality enough Ironically probably the 300 people who already know exactly where I'm at what I'm doing But just in case there's a little bit of a little bit of dipping in a little bit of crossing over a little bit of a influx You know, whatever I'm a 3d boy now. I've been that since last year And the beginning of the last year around February is when I started really focusing solely on doing 3d I Run a blog Polystation 2.com like PlayStation 2, but Polly's Polly gods That's the idea and then the just behind the blog and the website you can go to polystation2.com. I bought the domain is that it's Trying to like capture the aesthetic of like PlayStation 2 games and like Mostly doing fan art stuff right now to kind of build the brand and I get people interested in it But that's what I do like a lot of people I guess I don't say a lot of people like I look for all the comments on the PCP I try and respond because I think this will probably a topic in future in a future wine chamber I think we're pretty bad at At interacting with audience a lot of the times I think that's a huge problem with the PCP in general is that this kind of meme of like comment rules It's like somehow aim morphed and evolved into like actual disdain for the audience I think it's a huge mistake. That'll be next week's wine chamber I'll probably get more into that but because of that I try and like Be someone who tries to interact with audience and stuff just because I enjoy doing that Probably more than anybody else. Maybe don't quote me on that. I never talked anybody about it But I feel like I try and be a little bit more active and try and talk to people and definitely respond to questions and stuff But people have them because why the fuck not I don't mind so I forgot what my main point was I Want my personal brand to be understood and that's why I was trying to do this podcast So maybe people who don't understand who I am and why I'm still here Can understand what I'm trying to do and they can decide for themselves whether it's interesting or not So that's what I'm doing. I'm doing a low-poly PlayStation 2 style 3d models right now. I'm definitely still learning this. I've only been doing it for a little over a year Probably like 13 months now. No, it's no it's it's beginning March. It's 13 months 13 months And That's that's really my big thing, you know, like Ben has his comics mage has her animation memes and I'm doing the 3d But the interesting thing is that like in addition to the 3d models I've been trying to like talk about 3d in an analytical fashion on my youtube channel on Tommy Oliver So if you go to youtube.com C slash Tommy Oliver link to all is in the description if I remember I Have like anal analytical videos breaking down 3d as a medium because there's a lot of people who talk shit about like 3d anime and stuff But they don't understand how 3d works and they're like, oh 3d anime looks like garbage But they don't know why they just say it looks wrong But now that I like know about 3d I can explain why it looks wrong like the technical reasons That things look different And in addition I just like exploring the medium of 3d because I'm in learning mode right now Trying to absorb a bunch of information figure out how all these things work. So I want to like explain that to people So that's another thing that I do but But but but the group the growth has been bad trying to do that It seems that every time I put out one of those videos I lose subs I lose like a hundred to three hundred subscribers every time I upload a video and then if I don't upload for a week I'll slowly gain back like 50 or so people not upload another video and then it plummets again So like it's almost like YouTube is a bad idea I really like Instagram. I just started using Instagram and I know it's like kind of like not cool like cuz we're all like PCP Art faggy kind of like counter-cultury things and like Instagram and Facebook are really gay I don't know anything about Facebook, but I really like Instagram as a concept Because it it lets you separate Your your content like the interesting thing is like, you know how did you has Digi bro And then you have did you bear after dark Which is like the more casual vlogging kind of content and then did you grow the main channels like this is where I like the series Analytical shit is Instagram is set up even though it's much shorter form content. It's not a replacement for YouTube But in terms of like organization, you don't have to make another Thing to like vlog about your niche in addition to doing like main content because you have Instagram like the main Instagram where you post your photos and your videos and whatnot and then you have Instagram stories Which is kind of like snapchat They expire in like a day and you can like pin like some of the best moments to your profile But these don't show up on your main feed They're separated so you can do all your vlog and casual stuff at Instagram stories So you can have one account and you can like documents making stuff without cluttering your main feed of content Which I just think is fucking dope is shit and I wish Everyone did that like patreon just rolled out like I think called lens Which is basically snapchat built into patreon which I think is stupid I think patreon should be a social networking platform at all It should be a payment service and that's it the whole social thing makes no sense to me I've never had anyone really Network with me on patreon. It just it just seems like such a dumb idea They should just focus on their strengths, which is like taking people's money and giving it to me, but whatever YouTube has a community tab thing now, which kind of works in the same way You can't upload Vlogs and stuff what you could do is you could upload vlogs unlisted and then post them on the community tab So they show up in your community tab for people who want to look at it But they're not gonna be in your main feed with all your like actual content So I like this idea Especially on Instagram because like YouTube community tab is great But like it's not integrated very well like nobody really gets notifications for it It kind of show up sporadically whereas Instagram stories is like very much a strong Understood part of Instagram now. So you could use stories like people get it Whereas on YouTube, it's not so much with the community tab. It's still a new feature My whole thing is like I want to communicate my brand Effectively and now that I like have a direction and like 3d is like mm-hmm. This is what we're doing. This is this is the hill We're dying on I'm growing slowly, but growing on Instagram. I'm growing on Twitter. I'm growing on tumblr not growing on YouTube and the YouTube videos The analytical videos are a technically still kind of off-brand Because I do like tutorials, which is fine And then I do these anal analysis videos, which aren't really the same thing They're tangentially related to the topic of making 3d, but they're not really the same thing like one's a creative thing and one's a commentary thing So they feel off-brand and every time I post them they hurt my my my channel not help it and even More damningly is that I hate doing the work because I hate video editing So I'm like maybe I should just stop making YouTube videos for the time being and Just focus on Instagram tumblr and Twitter where I'm actually growing I'm actually making progress and I'm actually able to do work on those platforms that I actually enjoy doing It's like I try and take Saturdays To do video stuff because that's whenever we record PCP So I'm like I'm already gonna not have I'm gonna have a block of time I'm gonna have to record PCP So I might as well take this entire day and just shotgun as many videos and stuff that I can But I never get a lot of stuff done because making videos sucks It sucks so bad like whether it's technical problems whether it's things not working or it's just me being miserable usually all three things just go really slowly and So it never just takes that one day it takes two days or three days And then like half my week is dedicated to doing things that aren't helping my brand grow and make me upset Seems kind of stupid I Definitely feel like a pressure to be a youtuber because everybody I'm friends with is a youtuber and YouTube is like the big platform And it's helping everybody else like become rich become famous become successful and like building a really strong brand and like you listen to Anybody who talks about marketing and they're all like you've got to be on YouTube There's no reason not to be on YouTube But if YouTube's not working for me like should I still do it? I don't know I like Instagram a lot. I like Twitter a lot a lot Twitter's like my favorite social media platform Super fucking fun. I don't really know why I like it so much. I just do I was thinking maybe taking all these vlog ideas and video essay ideas and just making them regular essays on medium like Maybe I don't know my whole thing is like personal brand dude. That's that's what this episode is gonna be I was listening to talk about just art, but it's turning into a brand thing personal Brand my personal brand. I want to grow. I want to be a personality But that's the interesting thing and I talked with major about this at one point when we were talking about just PCP stuff in general Because we're both the artistes Ben is to but Ben's a bit better at this than me and major. I feel like me and major definitely related to this is that We don't have bombastic personas. We want our we want our artwork to do the speaking for us like I'd rather be behind the scenes making cool shit and the cool shit Sells me instead of me, you know Like Ben has an interesting personality. So even though he's doing like the champion and the vapors and they're fucking amazing Like he can he has an interesting personality just naturally So like when he talks like you can get vibes with him and like he Gels off other people really well me and mage Less so like like I think mage has a good personality But I think she has to like try to like do it. It doesn't come naturally same with me I have to like sit down like on a pcb episode and like try and project myself and like try and be a presence and Not just faded the background because that's just my natural state is like I'd rather just sit down Do the work and let what I do define me and not like who I'm acting like so I Try and do these podcasts to help build a personality Because now I don't have any but I'm not competing with anybody else on wine chamber. It's just me. So I Don't have like a Nate bestman Salesman voice that can like hype up anything. I'm just like mumbling and rambling and getting progressively more buzz But I just try and be as real as possible like a straight up If I have something I want to talk about even if it's weird or uncomfortable or makes me sound stupid I'm just gonna let it out anyway, because that's the best I know how to communicate Who I am and how I be So yeah, I just want I Want anybody who comes to the PCP from outside Even if they don't like what I do I want to at least make it clear what it is I do so they can make that decision for themselves, you know It's becoming very obvious as I dig through comments and stuff that nobody knows what I do I'm not communicating it clearly enough And obviously just because I've been jumping back and forth, but like I think we're set We're going we're going into this year on a year is like the longest of like actually sat down actually worked on something consistently Medium-wise in the last couple years 3d seems to be the thing. It's clicking for me. I enjoy it. I like it I want to keep doing it And so I want that personal brand to to to become something that is Clearly understood, but it's difficult because I'm not a guy commentating right so like if you listen to Nate Bitch about stuff on on the PCP like you're basically getting a little preview of what he does Because all he does on best guy ever is bitch about shit or hype shit up So when you listen to like did you who you listen to give or you listen to Nate? Like you're just getting a preview of what they do on our channel full-time You listen to me bitch It has nothing to do with the content that I actually give a fuck about it. It's like I'm not a part of it. I'm just a guy behind the scenes Pushing vertices and making textures and like saying here Don't look at me. Look at this. Whereas, you know, I did you bros like look at me? I am the product whereas I'm like don't I'm not important. This is look at that Tell me you like that. Don't tell me you like me So and I feel like a lot of the the interest in the PCP is like it's this cult of personality and People are more interested in in it for the personalities and they don't care as much for consuming art They want to consume the personalities like I Think a lot of people are into anime Because they like watching the discussion around anime almost more than they like watching the anime themselves. I Think it's I think that is for it's not a lot of people I think there is like a very dedicated group of people who consider themselves like critics or pseudo-intellectuals or whatever not to Just not to disparage anybody Because you can like whatever you want, but I'm saying there is like a group of people I think who watch anime as a prerequisite to be a part of the discussion of the criticism of anime And I don't know if that's the PCP audience because I don't know what everybody does I don't have enough time to like invest in everyone's personal Profiles or whatever to figure it out. It's kind of creepy if I did I uh I don't know I Make 3d models. Please pay attention to me. That's that's like the underpinning cry for attention at this podcast really is Is that I feel like I get lost in the shuffle? Because I've been so Disperate and lacking focus and now that I have it. It's like too late for people to understand So I could go back like all 90 something episodes of PCP and change all the links probably like to my Instagram or my Twitter So people can see the artwork I'm doing as opposed to like a YouTube channel that doesn't communicate it very effectively And I don't think is my best work anyway Oh God Oh Building things online is hard when you're not an extroverted confident person. It's very hard guys Let me let me tell you keeping up keeping up with these guys who who Feel like their shit is the shit when you feel like your shit is shit. Whoo. Oh boy. It's it's tough It's it's a tricky There's definitely jostling in every PCP episode like man. I got to be able to say my fucking piece I got to be able to say something witty, but I'm not a funny guy I don't my jokes are very reactionary. You can tell me sit down and be like Tom tell a joke. I'd be like fuck Not funny. I'm not entertaining 99% of my life is like sitting behind a laptop screen clicking And that's what I do And I hope the fruits of those clickings take me somewhere and give me something. Oh What was the point? I don't remember what the point was I had so much fucking rum last night and I didn't even get bugs I was so upset. I just wanted the pain of editing to go away and it did Um This is like the worst wine chamber yet. I feel Usually when I do a wine chamber, I have like a one specific point I want to hammer away at and then I'm good This one felt way more all over the place because I'm talking about myself And again, this kind of goes back into what I was just saying I don't Have that extroverted personality. So when I have to talk about myself I fall apart because like I'm boring. I don't care. I don't care about me Just just go to instagram.com slash polystation 2 You'll understand more about me just by looking through those videos then Uh, then you will listen to all these episodes combined. Like that's what I care about That's what I want to be known for I changed patreon.com slash save me It's patreon.com slash polystation 2 because I'm sick of my only person my personality on the pcp Has devolved into this guy has a miserable shitty life And he's a joke I don't want to be a miserable shitty joke I I freely admit that my situation is not the best, but I don't feel sorry for myself I joke about being sorry for myself, but I think the joke has become my primary defining characteristic Let me fucking tell you I don't feel sorry for myself I made mistakes I Have suffered and and fucked myself over Because I don't have confidence in myself and I've let other people make decisions for me And I've fucking put myself in this position, but it's my responsibility and my interest in digging myself out of the shithole and becoming The best person on this podcast becoming the most successful person making more money than everybody on here because Despite the fact that I self-depreciate all the time I think the work that I do is way more interesting than when everybody else on this fucking podcast does because criticism is gay and making things Is by default more valuable and commentating on things So despite the fact that I kind of mope around and have become this caricature of myself saying, oh, what was me patreon.com So I saved me. I'm pouring fucked up I still think that my shit's more interesting and more valuable than anything anybody else doesn't as goddamn Fucking channel Except for mage and ben because they're both doing art too. So they're excluded from that rant But that's the whole thing and munchie Investigator come on munchie. You promised me you let me see whips like fucking a month ago and I still haven't seen him I still haven't seen him Okay, fuck I don't know why i'm getting more like buzz off of this stout than I did on like shotgun and rom yesterday Maybe i'm just still really tired. I don't fucking know dude I don't want to be I want to have a personal brand I want to like have a good personality and I want to be known for like my artwork and i'm sick of being a fucking uh sad Sorry, I don't want anyone to be sorry for me. Fuck you if you're sorry for me I don't I don't want to be sorry for me. I don't want anyone else to be sorry for me If you donate to my patreon, I don't want you to be like man patreon.com slash save me like this guy's got a shitty life I'm gonna give him a dollar because he needs it more than me No, I want you to be like patreon.com slash polystation 2 this guy is totally zeroing in on my nostalgia Fucking fos from hoseki no kuni designed to look like a playstation 2 character straight out of like xeno saga That's fucking dope like I'll give you five dollars. You're the coolest. That's what I want That's what I want my personal brand to be I don't want it to be the sorry parody of myself Fuck that Sometimes I feel shitty because Nate and digi have more money and more patrons and more all that shit and more subscribers but I would hate to have Subscribers and money For the work that they do why because I did when I did my little pony and I was miserable and it felt disgusting so Fuck that I don't I don't want to do reviews Which is also why maybe I shouldn't do these analysis videos on youtube Even though I feel like they're more valuable because at least I'm interested in the subject matter But even if they took off like let's say why 3d anime sucks got like 10 million views today Like while i'm recording this and I got a million subscribers All those people they wouldn't care about polystation 2 They wouldn't care about the animation And the 3d graphics i'm doing they just want more analysis. They probably just want more analysis on anime in general And I I know so No, I think I think this this podcast is over and I feel like i'm just rambling now but that Go check out my work that matters understand if you've been confused about my personal brand. I am a 3d artist I'm gonna do lots of cool 3d shit And uh my personal belief is that the worst piece of art is more inherently valuable Than the best analytical video ever made by by context of the medium it's in Fight me if you want if you want more description on that Let me know maybe I'll do a wine chamber on that opinion But no, I don't feel sorry for myself. Don't feel sorry for me Okay, good. Good. Bye