 So about 10 years ago when I was in college, there was this pretty cute blonde girl, right? And I was this super skinny like 125 pound, really 125 pounds in college. And I was just really interested in this girl. I didn't really have the guts to ask her out. So basically it was around Halloween or something. And I was talking to her some way, maybe it was via text. And I wanted to see what she was up to. And she was like, you know, you could tell that she was trying to deflect my straight up asking her out. And she's like, you know what, you should just come out with me, my friends tonight for Halloween. So we went to like this Halloween event and much of the haunted houses and stuff. And it was her politely friendzoning me basically. And the thing that I thought about a month or two later was just how scared I was about asking out this girl and about how many of these fears I had in my life at the time. And still the fears always change. But the fears that I had that to me were so nerve wracking that could keep you up at night, that they were so affecting your stomach and your nerves, that many of these things, they affect us so much we don't even act. I mean, think about all the guys that haven't asked out a pretty girl because they're so nervous. I mean, it's not just me. It's millions of introverted, formerly nerdy dudes. And since that time, I've reflected on not necessarily that day, but all the things that have scared me, whether it was when I was younger, asking out a pretty girl, that was metaphorical for having a fear that stood between where I was and where I wanted to be or a much better situation in my life. But right now, this invisible thing called fear was the thing holding me back from doing the coolest thing imaginable. So in this video, I want to share a little bit about how personally I have overcome fear in the past. And maybe if that's what's holding you back from writing your book, from getting fit, from improving your life, from asking out that person what you can do instead. What's up guys, Alex Hine here, author of the book Master of the Day. The very first thing that I did was I dared myself. So look, you know me, you know my approach. I'm cut to the chase New York City. I'm BS free. If there's a problem in your life, you look in the damn mirror. That's just my style. Now for me, the biggest thing that bothered me, mostly in my early 20s, was two things that revolved around my introversion and just being nervous. One was really going out to events and just talking to people. I hated having to make friends. I hated having to push myself to meet people because it didn't feel good. And by essentially by association, talking to a pretty girl, in other words, axing out a girl that really impressed me and really intimidated me. So that was the primary big fear. First of all, and the second one that often goes with introverts because we're very self critical is dancing, right? So I didn't like a lot of the social events where those two things occurred basically a lot of people, a lot of people trying to pick each other up and dancing and things like that. So when I moved to China in my early 20s for an entire year to desensitize myself from that, the first thing I did was I dared myself to do only two things. I had to go out to a club three times per week, and I had to either dance with or ask dance with or talk to the prettiest girl, the three prettiest girls there that intimidated me. All right, I did that three times per week. So I every week, I was basically doing nine or 10 things that scared the crap out of me that were really intimidating where I could look stupid and where I could go back home being feeling like a dork basically or like a loser. But you can imagine what happened after a year of doing that where number one, I had no problem asking out a girl anywhere sober when I was drinking. It didn't matter because I desensitize myself to that fear. And honestly, once you do it enough times, you realize that other people are often just as nervous and other people are often just as intimidated. And the things we build up in our minds are often just built up in our minds. And by the end of the year, I was comfortable getting on a stage in a club and doing whatever stupid dance I was doing. But the point was that it didn't matter that the fear was asking out a girl, which the fear is for so many guys, or dancing on a club stage. That is metaphorical, right? Those are very literal fears in my mind, but I had other fears like I did not like the ocean. So what did I do before China? When I was 20 or 21, I got a marine biology internship in Fiji doing diving like with sharks and monitoring reefs and measuring giant clams. I mean, I was out in the open water by myself and I went on a shark dive, a scuba dive, and I actually ran out of oxygen at 60 feet under the water because of my own dumb fault. So that the universe gave me a pretty clear shot. Like you want to get over your fear of the ocean and sharks and all that stuff? Well, go for it. And we're also going to have you, because of your own stupidity, run out of oxygen at 60 feet with bull and tiger sharks around you. So good job, Alex. You conquered that fear. So the first thing is to dare yourself. There's something there. I know there is always a fear in us in humans. There's always something. But the sooner you can dare yourself to go into it and figure out what it's about, what's going on, the sooner it's just going to lose that kind of energy it has inside of you that's stressing you out. The second thing is to question if it's really true. You know, when I went to write my first book, Master of the Day, I was like 27 or 28 years old. And in my head, first of all, I was like, who am I to write a book? Because that is extremely impressive. I mean, I've read hundreds of books and they are different from me, right? And sure enough, as I began writing my book, other people around me even reinforced that narrative I was telling myself. Oh, who are you to write a book? Do you have a publisher? How are you going to make money? Basically, they were asking me all these questions about how are you going to make this work, Alex? How are you going to make this work? Who are you to do this? Do you know how to write? Do you know how to the process of selling or marketing a book? Do you know how to get a publisher? Do you know all these things? And what they were really asking me was, are you good enough to do that? And that's the same thing I was asking myself. So it was kind of ironic the inside mirroring the outside. And so I asked myself a very important question. I asked myself, are these pro writers any different from me? Like honestly, besides the skill development in writing and understanding the book market, I don't know anything about that, but are they really better in a way that I cannot control? And I'd read, you know, I'd read books that were crap all the time. And I'd read books that were bestsellers and they really weren't that special, a lot of them. And so I thought to myself, okay, maybe, maybe some of them are not that special. And then I thought, if these were just skills they acquired, what skills would I have to acquire in order to be just like them? The first skill was writing a good book, understanding how books are written. The second thing is writing styles. And the third thing was the sales and the marketing. So all I did was I took the time to break down how are the best books written that I love? What is the writing style? What is the voice? And then I studied the marketing and the sales of it. And sure enough, almost every one of my self-published books has been number one on Amazon. From a no-name dude who's never written a book before, some of the covers and the titles are stupid or very amateur looking. And yet the message, the message has produced real emails like this from people. I get an email every day about one of my books, which is insane if you think about it. Like this is literally a real email from someone who told me it is better than most of the New York Times bestsellers and the bestselling authors out there. Or that this is the best book from an author you have not heard yet. So can you imagine? Imagine if I said to myself, you know what Alex, I don't think I'm good enough to write this book. Then that book never would have entered the world and it never would have had the impact even if it was just on one person. That would have been good enough for me. And yet that book has produced so many case studies of people changing their lives. And it was just this much, that much margin of error. If I did not push through that fear that, is this really true? I don't know. Or is it just a fear? If I never pushed through that, I never would have shipped and written multiple other books since then. So if you think about, is this really true? Are they really special? Am I really not cut from the same cloth? Do they have something that they're born with, the genius archetype? Or did they just do something different that I can also do? Now, you know, it's funny. When I started studying really successful people, it was mostly in my mid 20s when I was unsuccessful, didn't know what I wanted to do, super lost, super depressed. And I asked myself, you know, through all my research, what are the traits I've discovered in some of these people? And you will see the things like discipline and grit and persistence and thinking uniquely, creatively. But what I noticed the most was very interesting and it was two things. The first thing was that they very often believed they were special. Think about that. They very often believed they were special. And this is where Steve Jobs gets a lot of flak because he was known to be an A-hole and run his employees into the ground. But he believed he was special. And so even when life outside of him did not show that he was special because he was getting crappy results or was unsuccessful, he kept going until reality matched with what he thought about himself. And the second thing is that a lot of ultra successful people think, you know what? I don't see anybody that's done this. So screw it. I'm going to be the first. Why don't I become the leader in the field and be the person who's the first to do it? Because then maybe I can also inspire other people. And years later, what I learned, the only reason I started writing online and doing YouTube and writing books, I did not see someone doing what I was doing at the exact way that I wanted it to be done. And I thought, well, if not someone else, why don't I be the leader and do it? And when I realized that, I felt like a door opened my mind. So if you tell yourself, you know what? What I have is special and no one else can do it the exact way I do it, then of course you're going to do the work because you believe you have a special thing inside you that only you can give to the world. So it doesn't matter the criticism and the people around you because you have to get it out. There's all these people that are going to miss out on you if you don't do the work to push yourself out of that shell. So these are some of the strategies I've used in my own life to push through that fear. And whether it is the fear of water and sharks, the fear of asking out that person you're really intimidated by, or it's something else stupid like dancing, or it's a big thing in your career, getting a job, writing a book, upgrading your life, those things are all scary. But I think the big difference is that you know the fear is there, you decide to do it anyway, and because you believe in your dream more than you believe in the opinions of other people or in that fear. What's up guys? I hope you like that video. That was a beast mode rant. I think I need to do more like that in the future. But if you want to stay in touch, the best way is first of all, grab that free seven day weight loss challenge in the description. I also have a brand new program that just came out called the 21 day daily habit weight loss challenge. It's a fusion of both weight loss and fitness and personal development. And that is in the link there below, or you can go to 21habitchallenge.com.