 And, and this has been hard because I grew up with, in a household with a scarcity mentality instead of an abundance mentality. So that's another one of the things that I'm trying to rewire in my life is being able to say, yeah, there's plenty for everybody that I don't need to be a squirrel, you know, hogging all of my nuts. It's okay to share them. And I just said share my nuts on a podcast. That is, that is not what I meant by that. So I'm trying to rewire from going from a scarcity mentality to an abundant mentality. And that's not that's not easy either. Yeah, it's staying in your lane. Yes, is what I'm hearing. The comparison is the thief of joy. They say that for a reason. I think with us too, we're on social media, we're constantly seeing people that have more followers that have bigger gas that are doing bigger things. And it's the, Oh, well, they're already doing it. So why would I even try? And that's the opposite. So yes, you working on an abundance mindset. What are those practices, those tools that you have to help you switch your script? Well, it all comes back to awareness and it comes back to patience. So I have to be aware of when I'm living through a scarcity lens. And then just say, all right, you don't have to view it this way. You know, it's it's life does not need to be zero sum. You know, just because they chose you to be the keynote speaker instead of me doesn't make me less than unless I choose to make me feel less than. And that's the other part of me in the speaking industry in general. I mean, I think in Vegas alone, they're like 6000 speaking events in any given year. I mean, it is astronomical. So while I'm over here in my feelings crying and worried about one event I didn't get. There are literally tens of thousands of other events that I can get. It's if someone said there's a finite number, there's only going to be 100 speaking engagements this entire year in this entire country. And you don't get one, then you're like, okay, well, now I guess I'm in a little bit of trouble. That's not the case. You know, we talked earlier also, I know I keep referencing that we had a wonderful conversation in the car at 515 this morning when these ladies picked me up. But like looking, you know, at the dating world and same thing. So you meet someone that checks all the boxes and you think would be an amazing partner. And then for whatever reason they're not. I have difficulty thinking, well, that's okay, because there's going to be somebody else out there that can still meet like there's no shortage of people that I believe I could be a good fit for. And I don't mean to go down a tangent, whether someone believes in soulmates or not, that's fine. I don't believe that there's one, I believe there's plenty of people that could be a wonderful partner for me moving forward. But that's where that really is where it triggers for me. So I'm in a relationship, things go really well, and then they don't go well. And now I'm thinking, Oh my God, did I should I be sacrificing who I am and what's important to me to make this work, because there might not be another person out there that's good enough. That's that slippery. So I'm trying to rewire myself. Absolutely. So I'm trying to rewire myself and and and not to not to dehumanize anyone. But it's, you know, the example, you know, you miss the bus, there's gonna be another bus coming around the corner. And that is not to compare young ladies to buses, but just simply say that if it doesn't work, that's okay. But then but then this is where all of these things start to trigger, because I still have the temptation to when you meet someone, you want to put your best foot forward, you want them to be impressed by you. I want them to think I'm cool that I'm doing, you know, but you have to be authentic, you have to be real. Because if you put a fake, you know, a facade up, and they think you're cool for the first couple of weeks, and then they get to know who you really are and you ain't cool, then you're going to have a problem. So I've learned to be comfortable just being me right from the beginning. And that's the ultimate qualifier. And if me being me is not the right fit for you, then that's okay. And if you decide that it's the not right fit for you, it still might sting. I still might like you and kind of want this to work out. And then when it doesn't, it's a gut punch. But then I move to the next play. I give myself 24 hours to binge watch Netflix and think, well, is me, but then just wake up the next day and say, all right, well, let's give this another go. So the dating world is the ultimate EQ laboratory for me to work on all of these things. So it's, it's been good practice to say, but it's good practice for anything for business being aligned with what you want and what your business stands for as you build it. Like if people say no to us, whatever, we're staying true to what aligns with us, or as you're making a friend and you're trying to impress a random friend with these cool stories, just like be yourself because eventually they're going to see who you really are. You can't sustain that game. Honestly, I feel like this, that could apply to anything. And yeah, dating's got to be so tricky. But I think a lot of people feel that way. Like, you know, there's the timeline of, okay, but I want, I don't want to wait five more years. You know, like, should I just settle because they're like kind of okay, but then you're sacrificing who you are, which is going to lead to resentment. And I feel like that can literally be applied to any part of your life and just how important being authentic is and being alignment is. And that's a huge part of your book of sustaining your game is like, if you're feeling burned out, you're probably not aligned with what's important to you. So can you kind of speak to how you can get realigned or like even start with alignment so that you don't burn out? You just said you teed it up perfectly. So burnout is misalignment between the sacrifices you're making and the hours you're putting in and the meaning you find in the work that you're doing or in the relationship that you're having. It's not just for work. So if you don't find meaning or purpose in what you do, you're at risk for burnout. If you are not curious by or fascinated by what you're doing, you're at risk for burnout. If what you're doing is not in alignment with your core values and your deepest held beliefs, you're at risk for burnout. If you don't believe the work you're doing is contributing to something bigger than yourself and you're making a difference, you're at risk for burnout. So it's not just from long hours that that is a contributing factor, but we all know someone. You two are a perfect example. I mean, you've got full-time jobs and you're working on the side to build this business. You're putting in a lot of time, but you find so much meaning in what you're doing that you guys are so vivacious and so alive and so into this, as soon as you would stop finding meaning at that, that's when you're at risk. So it's not just the long hours because you can balance long hours if you take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. I mean, so you're capable of working 60 hours a week and not getting burnt out if you love the work that you're doing, but that's the key. And not a lot of people love the work that they're doing for the long periods of time in the long haul. So that's when you have to look to make some tweaks. If we just use a generic example, you're working in a typical corporate structure and you've been there for 15 years and you're starting to feel some burnout. Ask yourself, first of all, what has changed between now and when I started? Maybe they moved you to a different department. Maybe you used to have a work BFF, but they went to a different job. Maybe your role has changed and what you're being asked to do. Maybe you have a new boss. Like a lot of these things could have changed and that could have thrown things out of alignment. So you can look to tweak some of those internal things. You guys will see today during the keynote, that's one of the things I talk about is finding meaning in your work and deeply connecting to the why you do what you do. Why would you work 60 hours? If the answer is for a paycheck, that usually does not require the meaning to sustain that. If it's because I believe what our company does is making a huge difference in people's lives and I actually get to see the lives that we have a chance to impact, then you're at less risk of burnout. So on the shorter end of the spectrum or the smaller end of the spectrum, you can make some tweaks internally. Ask your boss if you can switch to a different department, take on a different role, move your cubicle somewhere else. Like you can try those things. If that doesn't work, then you may need a full reinvention. You may need to leave the basketball space and become a keynote speaker. That was why I left. I started to feel burnout on being a basketball performance coach. I loved the kids I was working with. I loved the coaches I was serving. I was no longer fascinated by sets and reps and designing programs. You know, I no longer found meaning in having kids run faster and jump higher in dunk basketballs. That filled my cup for 15 years and I loved every second of it. But then it stopped having that meaning and I was finding more meaning in leadership, in culture, in communication and the things that I speak about now. So that was why I made the shift. And if in 10 years from now, this is no longer providing meeting, then I'll just shift to do something else. I believe as long as I'm developing skills with high utility, then I can do anything that I want. Leadership has high utility. Communication has high utility. Emotional intelligence has high utility. And those are all areas that I still need to continue to up level. But no matter what, I'll be able to find a home for those skillsets because we need them in every area of our life. I love two things from what you just said that I think are so important at home is that you are consistently aligning with where you're at. And that can change over time. And you give yourself permission to change your mind on what you want to do. I think sometimes we get stuck in this job or you decide to be a stay at home mom. Like for me, I, I tried it and it, it was burning me out because I wasn't getting the value anymore. It was nice when she was a baby, but it should became a toddler. I was like, I'm not the Pinterest mom. I, I don't not getting anything out of this. And I don't think she is either. You know, I think somebody else would be more equipped to do this. And so I think allowing yourself to know that you evolve and then actually tapping into what you want. And realigning like when do you take that time to evaluate where you're at? And what you just said takes courage too. We need to, we need to be able to celebrate the things that we do well. You know, a lot of us have that inner critic that's always telling us the things we're doing wrong. But I mean, it takes courage to make some of these big changes. It takes courage to leave a relationship. It takes courage to leave a job. It takes courage to switch vocations. You know, I mean, these things take courage. And sometimes I don't think we celebrate that enough. We tend to ostracize that. But I think that's, yeah, that's huge. And I've always believed also using another old adage that, you know, you can't pour anything out of an empty cup. So our first rule or our first non-negotiable needs to make sure our cup is always filled. That's how you become the best parent, the best spouse, the best fill in the blank is making sure your cup is filled. So one of the first things I had to do, which is interesting as I told you all for the first 40 years, I was a rather selfish person in general. But I've had to realize that filling my cup first is not an act of selfishness. It's an act of selflessness. Because the fuller my cup is, the more I can share with others and kind of go back to that candle analogy. If my flame goes out, I can't light any other candles. So job number one is to keep my flame lit. And I do that in a variety of different ways. And making sure you are aligned with what it is that you're doing is one of those primary ways and give yourself that grace. Now, this is also not to be confused with a minor slump, like with, you know, I mean, sometimes you're going to go through a few days where work is just kind of a pain in the backside and you're not loving your job. That I'm not saying everything needs to be this massive red flag. But if you're starting to know weeks on end, I'm not looking forward to Monday morning. I'm not looking forward to going into the office. I don't like the then you may want to make a switch and keep those options open. I think what prevents people from doing a lot of these things is we worry about what everyone else is going to say. Generally speaking, I have had tremendously supportive people in my life. I have not had a lot of people tell me you can't do that or you shouldn't do that. And I know a lot of people have an uphill battle because they have those naysayers in their life. So when I said I'm leaving basketball to be a keynote speaker, I had a lot of people ask why, but I didn't have anyone go, oh my God, you're insane. Why are you doing that? You'll never succeed at that. I mean, I had good people in my life, but I certainly had a lot of people say why, like you spent 15 years working towards the top of your like brand recognition and some of these opportunities. Why would you give that up? And the answer was because it's not filling my bucket anymore. That's why and I can't make it. So I enjoyed it while I did it. And I loved every minute of it, but it's just not, it's not doing it for me anymore. And I believe I owe that to myself, but I also owe that to the people I was working with. I don't think teaching and coaching and mentoring and the things that we all do and the playgrounds we play on are things that you can just mail in. Like you got to be all in. I don't think anything would be more disheartening than a half-assed teacher. A teacher, I mean, those are our youth that you're pouring into. That is the future of our world and you're mailing it in every day. That's unacceptable. Now it's completely acceptable that you don't love teaching. There's nothing wrong with that, but you need to get out of the game because now you're having, you're detracting from other people. And that's one of the reasons that I love teachers so much is most teachers, they're in it to win it. They're not doing it for the pay. They're certainly not doing it for any type of accolades or recognition. They're doing it because they believe in pouring into young people. But if you're a teacher listening to this and the moment you no longer want to pour into young people, please find something else to do that can utilize your greatness and don't feel guilty about it. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing says that when you decide to be a teacher, you have to do it for 30 years. If after three, you want to do something else by all means, knock yourself out. You should. Yeah. I love it's trusting yourself to own it, to do whatever you're being called to do and to go all in and not care what others are saying because at the end of the day, it's your life. And that kind of leads you to remember the next question, which is what you talk about with the performance gap of the knowing it and actually doing it and talk about the fundamentals or anything in life. I'm curious why you believe there's such a big gap between knowing it and actually doing it because most of the things that we know are hard to do. I mean, if it was easy, everyone else would be doing it and we know that now we chose to find some enjoyment in what we did this morning. There's nothing easy about getting up at 4.30 in the morning and doing the workout that you guys drug me through for 30 minutes. That is challenging to do. It would be much easier to sleep in instead of doing that. We all recognize that. But because we find meaning in it and because it gets our endorphins going and it makes us feel good, like we found weight, but it's not, it's not easy to do. So part of it, I think is just the acknowledgement. But that is where people get tricked up and where people get frustrated. It's rarely from lack of knowing. It's from lack of doing. Even today, later today at the keynote, we could do this survey. We don't have time, but I could say, all right, everybody take out pen and paper and write down the 10 healthiest foods that you know of and everyone would write them down. And I bet you would see a lot of the same foods on the lot of the same piece of paper. And then I could say, okay, how many hours of sleep are you supposed to get every night? Write that number down. Everyone would write a number down immediately. Most of them would write down the same number and then say, how many of you, you know, can you just etch out what you should do on a weekly basis as far as moving your body, as far as physical fitness? You don't, you don't have to design a workout and submit it to men's or women's health. But generally speaking, just what should you do? And every single person would be able to write down what they're supposed to do. And then I can simply ask them, okay, are those the foods you eat consistently? Is that the amount of sleep you got last night? And are these the type of workouts you do four to five days a week? And for the people that are being honest, you're going to see a lot of heads saying no, but it's not from lack of knowledge. They know exactly what to do. They just wrote it down. They're just not doing it. So to me, that's, that's pivotal to my work is, is finding the thorn in people's pause and figuring out how to take that out so that now they start doing the things they know they should do. But some of it starts with the awareness. Some of it starts with, you know, lack of don't self-love and beat yourself up. Don't feel guilty. Don't say, I haven't worked out for the last 10 years, say, but I can work out this morning. You can't change the last 10 years. You'll never get that back. And the more you think about that, then the more the lower you feel. So yeah, you can't do anything about those 10 years, but you can work out this morning and just take it one, one day at a time. Yeah, Brooke and I have a coach and she always has a say up until now, like maybe, okay, it's irrelevant that you were bad at that before up until now. And moving forward, I am a person. I do identify as somebody that is going to exercise five days a week. And I do think there's something about why people have such tough times mentally, knowing that they, they have the knowledge and they're not doing it. Like you said, you kick yourself up, like you beat yourself up about it, or you're down on yourself, which I think makes it even harder to get started. You know, that performance gap is even worse because you are thinking of the past or you are thinking about what you're bad at. Yes. But if you, if you look at life through the lens of I'm broken, I need fixing and I have to do these things in order to be whole, then you're in trouble. If you can give yourself some grace and I don't like just being able to say, I'm good as is, whether I go for a run today or not, does not determine whether or not I'm a good human being. I'm going to prefer to go for a run because it makes me feel better and it's moving me closer to my goals. But let's, let's not start in the hole of thinking we have to do all of these things because then when we don't do them, that's when the guilt and the shame piles on and the self criticism. So, you know, we're all doing, we're all doing the best we can with what we got. And that's another thing that's really changed the way that, that I look at the world is I try and be, to help me improve my patience and my compassion is, and this can be naive at times, I make the assumption that every human being I meet is doing the best they can with the tools they have and the awareness they have. Now, clearly there's a lot of people that aren't aware and there's a lot of people that don't have very many tools. We got a few people walking around, all they got's a hammer. That's all they have. But if all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail. Like, can you be, how can you get frustrated at someone? They're doing the best that they can. And that's where I've learned to give myself forgiveness because even the previous, the selfish and I'm painting myself like I was a bad guy. I was never a bad guy. I've always been a high character guy with a good heart. But yeah, I had selfish tendencies built out of insecurity. I was impatient. I was easily frustrated, like all of those things. But I forgiven that guy because even me then was doing the best I could with what I had. I just didn't have very many tools then. So now I'm trying to add tools to my toolbox than most importantly, be able to use them. But I'm a huge believer in starting slow and being very strategic. So if anyone listening to this, if you feel like your entire life is a mess and you need to change everything, that is an incredibly overwhelming feeling. Like you feel like you're going to drown. So don't just just pick one thing. Just say, Hey, just starting tomorrow morning, I'm going to go for a walk every morning. That's it. You don't need to change anything else. You don't need to buy a Peloton bike. You don't need to throw at everything from the pantry. You don't need to hire six trainers and four therapists. Just go for a walk and start to make that stick. And then once you've got that habit, in addition to walking, listen to a wonderful podcast like this and add that to the list. And then after you've become, that's become a habit. When you get back from your walk and listening to your podcast, make a yummy smoothie, a shout out to chef Justin for the amazing smoothie this morning and add that to the list. And then maybe after your smoothie, you can take a few minutes to read a few pages of a book that makes you feel good. And you can start to stack these things on top of each other and slowly dig yourself out of this perceived hold. But just remind yourself that if you don't do any of that, you're still worthy and you're still a good person and you still deserve love and affection. Like it's, it's okay. So that we just can't start from a place of being a place of being broken. That was so beautiful. I'm so glad you said that because that's what gets Pete. That's what holds people back through self-limiting beliefs and getting overwhelmed by all that you could be doing. It's very overwhelming. Well, if we're just going to keep piling on things that I used to do that I need to do better, the self-limiting beliefs is a major one because I, I used to aim low to increase the chance I would reach goals. I'm, what I'm trying to expand in my life right now is to dream much bigger and because I've put so many self-limiting beliefs on what I'm capable of because I used to look at the world through that paradigm we've discussed earlier that falling short of a goal means you're a failure and I don't want to fail or I don't want to be viewed as a failure, failure, you know. So if I aim lower than I have a higher percentage chance that I'll hit, but you also live a much more tepid mediocre life. So now I'm trying to, to stretch and expand and aim much higher and just realize that I'm not going to hit all of those goals. In fact, most of them I don't, but I still make progress and I still learn something and then I can chase that goal again if I want. So I'm, I'm trying to be much more open to, to stretching and, but, but when you start lining all these things up, like rewiring, going from a scarcity mindset to an abundant mindset is really hard. I still struggle with it. Going from, you know, aiming really low to some grandiose goals and beliefs is really, really hard. 40 years of being impatient and easily frustrated to now just whistle while the slow cashier at target is ringing people up is not easy. So the number one takeaway from this episode, all of this stuff is basic. None of this stuff is easy. So give yourself some patience, give yourself some grace and just know that we're all struggling with this. That's the part, I think what makes everything worse in addition to shame and guilt is feeling like you're alone. I'm the only one that doesn't have my life together. No, I can promise you everyone listening to this right now, including the three of us doesn't have our life together in some area at some time, but some people are making progress and being okay with that. I'm okay with knowing that I don't have it all figured out. You know, I don't, you know, I'm getting better at being able to lean into uncertainty and knowing I don't have the answers. I don't know the way this game is going to play out. I'm just going to do the best I can with what I have where I am. And coupled with that, I'm not going to blame complain or make excuses. I'm going to hold myself fully accountable for everything that goes on in my life. And even that statement, I recognize coming from a middle-aged straight white male, the definition of privilege can even be a turnoff because I know there are people out there that have a much, much, much harder road than I've ever had. I mean, I've been incredibly fortunate to have a pretty awesome life. And even with someone else setting the table for an awesome life, I'm still tripped up and struggling and finding problems with all this. So I can only imagine people that have had much bigger adversities to deal with. So I don't mean to make light of those. And I certainly don't ever want to sound like I lack compassion. I know people are fighting much bigger fights than I am, but you still choose on, you know, you still get the choice on how you view approaching those things and what you plan to do about them. And that's all we can do. And then we can just try to have a sense of community, like you guys are creating and kind of band together and be able to say, yeah, I'm having a tough day today. Yeah, that keynote did not go as well as I'd like. Yeah, I asked this girl out and she ghosted me after a week. Who puts that on social? I got ghosted a couple weeks ago. I'm telling you guys right now, but I didn't lead with that on Instagram. That was a punch in the gut. But it was practice and it hurt for 24 hours. And then I learned some lessons. I sat in my feelings. They were really uncomfortable. I tried not to tell the story of why I thought that it happened because I have no idea why it happened. So it was a good practice. It was a good rep. And next time if I get ghosted, I'll be a little bit better at handling it. I even went into my therapist and explained that to her about being ghosted. I said, this is the first time I've been ghosted. It's a punch in the gut. She's like, wait, you've been dating on and off for seven years and that's the first time you've been ghosted. You should be very thankful. That is amazing that you've only dealt with this once. So that just reminded me going back to perspective. Her perspective was how fortunate I am that I've only been ghosted once. My perspective was, oh my God, I can't believe I've been ghosted. What did I do? Why am I not good enough? Why am I unworthy? How come she doesn't like me? I mean, and how how petulant are those thoughts? But I had them, but I only had them for a couple hours. And then I pulled my big boy pants up and said, okay. Yeah. Exactly. Next. There's another bus coming around the corner. I missed this bus. This bus didn't come by, but I'm going to find another bus. Yeah. So it's all good practice. And time does heal these things. If you give yourself room to breathe and you, you have, you know, so to me that's, that's most important. Yeah. I think with support to its perspective, being around people, not only is it awesome to not feel alone and to feel like you have that sense of community, but it also gives you perspective of, okay, I am doing okay. I am all right. Yeah.