 So apparently I'm a Shane Dawson butt kisser and that's a great great thing for this video because in this video we're going to be talking about perspective, why you need better friends, how to quit caring what people think and why you should be a little bit nicer. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. So what I like to do is pull different topics from the youtube community or pop culture and try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So I've been doing a bunch of videos about the Shane Dawson series so if you're into that kind of stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell but for all of you here who are current loyal subscribers I have a very exciting announcement. This morning I did some sweet talking to my beautiful girlfriend Tristan via text message and I convinced her to film a video with me this weekend so yeah make sure that you have notification bells turned on this is going to be a really good video it's going to be fun and exciting I can't wait I'm going to try to post it on Sunday. Anywho let's get started with this video so before I get started before I get started if any of you have been around my channel for like a long time like before the Shane Dawson stuff before other things like I've made a few videos about how to quit caring what people think I mentioned it in one of my Shane Dawson videos so this might seem a little contradictory I was thinking that as I was about to make this video but here's what I'll say I'm making this video for the same reason I make all my videos I think we can pull something from this that all of us can learn to improve our mental health because trust me I'm letting you all know right now I do not lose any sleep over the comments that I get on my YouTube videos and it is amazing all right but like I said there's some good lessons to be learned and this is a great opportunity to talk about this so yesterday after the Shane Dawson inside the mind of Jake Paul finale I made a video saying like we owe Shane Dawson an apology right and there were some comments on there saying like oh quick kissing Shane Dawson's butt quick kissing his butt oh my god and like somebody like had a counter going on and saying this and I'm just sitting there like what and then there's like people agreeing and I'm just laughing I'm like are you serious right now like are you serious right now and like the first thing that we'll talk about is perspective right so perspective it's always fascinated me I talked about this a bunch of my live stream you can have two people two people or 50 people or a thousand people all in the exact same situation and everybody's perception is different so like for example I've made videos over the last weeks where people say I'm being too hard on Shane and then I have people saying I'm kissing Shane's butt same thing with Alyssa Violet I have people saying you know I'm victim blaming Alyssa Violet that I have other people saying I'm being too nice to Alyssa Violet and like this is why I try to teach you guys not to care what people think if you look back at the videos that I made about what Shane Dawson's going through with this whole situation like he feels like he's in this no win situation because that's something that I accept on a daily basis is that I am never ever ever going to please 100% of the people and if you can get that through your head I swear to you your mental and emotional health will be so much better I know every time I put out a piece of content I am not going to please everybody and it is such a relief because if any of you are like a people pleaser or you're self-conscious or you get like social anxiety you know when our brain races like oh what are they thinking about me how do I look did I say this did I offend anybody like that's the thing like we gotta know that we cannot please everybody this is why I always tell you make sure that your motives and your intentions are pure that way you don't care so much about what other people think like I made an apology kind of video about uh Alyssa Violet and it's just because I didn't give a full picture of my views on the situation with the abuse and stuff like that so like that's the only reason why I went back and did that because after talking to my girlfriend I realized like oh that's that wasn't fully I won't say truly it wasn't fully sticking to my motives and my values right because I didn't get to give you like the other side of that thing but yeah I really want you all to sit back and think like are you often afraid to do things because you're worried about what people think like does that drive you nuts I know it used to drive me nuts and like just the freedom I get from this like I'm gonna make another uh video after this about anxiety but like this is a huge anxiety topic like so many of us care what people think and let me tell you this for any of you I know I've recently had a bunch of youtubers subscribe to me I know some of you are creators or your artists or whatever but like think about the freedom that you'll get when you just quit caring so much about what people think like if you go and watch pretty much any youtuber burnout video you will see the the creator the creator says they were worrying way too much about what the audience wanted and what they wanted right so like this is why I make videos about the youtube community there's so many lessons that you can learn how many things do you not do because you're worried about what your mom or your dad or your sister or brother or husband or wife or girlfriend or boyfriend or son or daughter well how many things do you not do because you're so worried about what other people are gonna think about you why do you value other people's opinions more than your own so the next thing let's talk about in this video is why you need better friends all right so a long time ago I made a video uh it was a book review of Sam Harris Lying it's a very short book it's about lying and like you should all go read it I'll link it down in the description for you it's like I don't know I think it's like less than a hundred pages I got the audio book it's like an hour and a half but anyways this is one of the reasons why I tell you that you need to keep people around in your life who tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear right because here's the thing like I know I know me I know my content I know the videos I make I have been critical of Shane in the past have you ever been in one of those toxic relationships where the other person keeps hurting you over and over and over again but you quickly forget about all of the terrible things they've done that's one of the main reasons why I'm really concerned that Jake Paul is manipulating Shane Dawson I mentioned in my last video that I actually emailed Shane because I was like hey man like just so you know like you know like I am a tough love type of person and I can't give that tough love if I'm worried about what people think but anyways you guys need people like that in your life and here's why here is why when you're constantly telling somebody the truth about your feelings about what your thoughts are then when you say something kind or compliment or give credit where credits do they believe it they believe it and that's what I love about the relationship my girlfriend and I have like I create YouTube content and some graphic content for like my Instagram or my thumbnails and stuff like that my girlfriend is an artist too she designs all of my merch by the way go check out that merch but anyways like we give each other honest feedback honest feedback so like if she sends me a picture and she's like what do you think like I'll tell her like oh hey I like this I don't like that or oh let's not do this one or whatever it is like I will give her my honest feedback and then she could take with that and do whatever she wants same thing with me like she'll call me out if she thinks I was wrong in a video or I said something or something you know a video idea is not the best but here's the thing since we have that type of honest dialogue with each other when when I tell her that I absolutely love the the art that she did she can believe me right because I haven't been BSing her like imagine that same scenario if I was just always telling her that every piece of art that she did was amazing imagine if I did that then how would she ever know and this is something we've talked about with a YouTube problem right everybody keeps yes men around him yes yes yes yes so you don't know who's actually telling you the truth like the golden rule about telling the truth and being honest about this stuff and why you need better friends is like think about how you would want it like let's say you were pursuing something let's say you were a writer or an artist or something like that would you want people to leave you in the dark and not let you know that what you're doing isn't that great like would you want them to say that and then you go out and make a fool of yourself like okay cool I'm gonna I'm gonna go and like start an art gallery with my finger paintings because everybody was gassing you up and this is where the balance comes in I just thought of this like so I'm telling you not to care what people think but you need people to give you honest feedback what you have to do in these situations is get that kind of filter like I'll tell you this right now my girlfriend um this is just an easy example but I've had it happen a lot my girlfriend has told me not to make certain videos and stuff and there's sometimes where I message her back or I tell her I'm like hey sorry I'm making this video right and sometimes she's right and sometimes I'm right like there's videos I've had that have exploded that you know she thought might be a bad idea there's other videos that I made that she thought would be a bad idea and they tanked you know what I mean so like I take that input and then I sit and I make my own decision so I really want you to think about that but like this is why we need to talk about like constructive criticism too so my girlfriend made a drawing of Shane Dawson over on her Instagram by the way go follow her on Instagram so she put up this drawing and she sent it to me and I was like I don't know there's something off about it I was like I was like it's seeing and it was just really picky like I like we get picky about weird things and Shane's cheekbone seemed a little bony so I was like I think you should just round this right like that's it I just gave her constructive criticism you know what I mean so again keep better people in your life because I think you know if Shane Dawson watches my content he knows that I'm not going to BS him I call him out when I feel he needs to be called out but I also give him more credit where credit's due and that brings us to the last topic about be kind be nicer to people like I was sitting there when I was reading those comments saying that I was kissing Shane Dawson's butt I'm like this is really interesting this is really interesting to me like could you imagine like could you imagine if my son did good like let's say my son did good on a test and I go to pick him up from school and his teacher's like hey uh here's Dylan's test I look at I'm like hey Dylan great job on your test buddy and she's like hey quit kissing your son's butt like could you imagine that could you imagine that right like this is why this is why a lot of people don't give compliments they're afraid they're afraid that they might get labeled a butt kisser you know what I'm saying like that is madness so many people are out here saying like we need to be kind and nicer to each other make this world a better place but you're you're yelling at people for being nice to somebody and giving them credit when credit's due I love giving credit where credit's due and that that my friends is why I sleep at night call me a butt kisser I don't care like I work in drug and alcohol treatment center if somebody stays sober for a day for a week here in Las Vegas like that's a huge deal what are you gonna call me a butt kisser like trust me I really don't care what you think but like about that fear so to bring it back to um I was at Vid Summit uh last week and there were so many amazing creators there that I love like Cody Warner and um Peter McKinnon and Gary Vaynerchuk and Sarah DiCi and just so many people were there and I made a video about my experience at Vidcon or Vid Summit and how I was struggling with social anxiety well part of it was part of it was I was afraid to go and compliment them and say hey you do really good work because I was afraid I was afraid that I would be kissing their butt right so then once I talked to my girlfriend and pulled my head out of my butt I went up to him and I just went up to random people I'm like yo I love your content and let's take a picture together and it makes them feel good like it feels good to me when people compliment me so why wouldn't I give that back to other people and the last kind of like uh example I'll give you is I mentioned this a while back but my son I've taught my son to compliment people right and he he'll like tell other kids or even adults like when we go see Marvel movies or whatever and they'll be wearing like a cool shirt of one of his favorite like superheroes or a cartoon and he'll tell them he's like hey I really like your shirt right and one day he was like daddy do you think it's weird that I tell people that their their shirt's cool or that I like their shirt I'm like no man that's awesome compliment these people I'm like and if they think it's weird that you're complimenting something they're wearing I'm like they're the weird ones so I want you all to remember that don't be afraid to give compliments and that's why I made this video because like this is a great example of all these things so that's what I do I take real life scenarios and I try to teach you how to improve your mental health so let's do this let's do this down in the comments below let's talk in the comments below are you somebody who cares far too much what people think we can also answer this question do you get defensive when people give you honest criticism like do you keep around people who tell you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear let's have a conversation down below in the comments okay but anyways that's all I got for you with this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure to subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon you help me do what I love which is helping people with their mental health and if you would like to help support the channel you can do it for as little as a dollar a month by clicking or tapping right there all right thanks so much for watching be kind today and I'll see you next time