 Are you any good? What's that about? Did you choose to do that or did somebody pick that for you? And I just hold pressure You need to be able to challenge people And I do this all the time with guys as well last year at the PUA summit guy came up to me after the talk and said man I really liked your talk, and I said what did you like about it? I don't do not doing that to be an asshole I'm doing that because that gives him a chance to engage deeply with what actually because if I just said thanks man So what I want to make sure he's got it He's like and now he's hold the pressure. He's like the guru is looking at me funny and then he goes The thing that you were talking about about intent really resonated with me and actually changed my perspective on game completely I'm like fuck. Yes, excellent Yeah, when you challenge people You're actually doing them and your favor being so fucking polite Actually means that you don't actually have real connections with people Trying to trying to make sure that the boat is never rocked Means that you just sail past each other. You don't you don't actually make clear connections I'm about in the intensity of the relationships that I have with people. That's why a girl that I sleep with once In a country and it's one thing It's really easy to have ten girlfriends in ten countries much easier than ten girlfriends in one country You guys should keep that in mind and easy jet seriously dudes. Why are you spending your weekends here? I'm serious if you're spending, you know a hundred pounds getting pissed in London Why not spend that on a cheap flight over to fucking Budapest where you can live like a king and meet much Much hotter women and have awesome sex with them and then set up a girl in every city. Come on. Let's think bigger here This is lifestyle design You want to be able to have friends and lovers and interesting experiences waiting for you all around the world? I I do it from Australia, you know, I put in the effort you guys It's not non-effort at all get out there and explore this world. It's much bigger than this one city than your one social scene Which brings me very very briefly to lifestyle design, which is a massive topic. I can't get too far into it But what I want you guys to think about is what is the ideal lifestyle and who are the people in it that you want to have? and Think big and you should sit down and have a think about this I get I get guys to do a social inventory right three columns Facebook friends contenders in a circle and list every single person that you know within those three categories What I mean by Facebook friends is people that are acquaintances that you know the name of Contenders of people who've come into your life that you share some commonalities with that you would like to continue something with But you haven't got a really solid connection and you're in a circle Which is generally fairly small and static other people that you can always rely on these are your long-term friends And your family your ex-girlfriends if you treated them well and so on What you want to do to create an amazing lifestyle is you cannot your acquaintances come and go and they're only they're not They're not actually going to help you much in life You need to get people into this middle column where they care about you and you care about them Now how do you make a deep connection or how do you make a deep alliance with somebody? I'll answer it rhetorically You do this by creating debts and favours between you You guys have all had those friends where you Know maybe you work together on a Friday night You got you have a beer and then when you shift jobs you never see that person again You got no real connection because you made no investment and they made no investment in return When I want to make a deep connection with somebody I meet someone I Do one of four things I ask I offer I trade or I collaborate Yeah, I Will deliberately put myself in debt to somebody I'll go and ask a favor Out of them and then I'll make sure that I pay them back Because that this trade and I call this the seductive economy which is a much bigger topic But we touch on it is what creates links between people If I was to walk up to one of you guys now, I don't have any money in my pocket So I can't do it and said here's 10 pounds Most people wouldn't take it They were like, oh, what is that? Because nothing's free We're suspicious of people try and give stuff for free Whereas if I went up and said if you go like this I'll give you 10 pounds. You'd be like that's stupid, but that's a fair deal. I'll do that That's worth two seconds of my time and it would make sense all right So what I'm always often doing with with the people that I really want to connect with is I'm asking favors for them Or I'm giving them something and then demanding something in return and I do this in seduction all the time Yeah, if a girl ever comes and asks me for a cigarette. I say what tricks have you got? Let's let's do a deal I don't care what it is whether and often it'll and they'll they can't think anything I said all right. Give me a sexy dance and they will yeah And then I'm not that idiot that's just giving stuff away the girl comes and says if she ever says I'll shoot You want to buy me a drink? I said Maybe what do you what are you trading on? What do we got here? Can you moonwalk? Can you knit? Can you cook? What's it worth? Because when you trade with someone it creates respect and trust When you give stuff away for free all the time Then it lowers your value You know people don't respect. That's why nice guys Are actually creepy because they're always giving stuff away for free. They're giving their time They give me a shoulder to cry on they are you know buying girls stuff or whatever else it is Not asking anything return But really the girl knows she's accruing a debt that he's saving up for a time where he's gonna kind of sneakly go Actually, I wrote you this poem. I've been in love with you for four years Yeah That's actually creepy and it's it's a lie. Whereas the the out-and-proud Aussie leaner it comes in and goes This is all about the root is it's quite clear about what the trade is yeah So what I suggest to you guys is that in your interactions with girl and with girls and with people in general is That you you trade with them Yeah, you have to expect stuff out of people in return for what you give and you need to do that On a personal level to value your own time who you are and I'm not saying be mercenary about it You know like working out every cent on a coffee with somebody or anything like that keep in mind There are multiple currencies being traded at all times in your lifestyle. You need to be able to trade different things There's a guy here who's putting up putting me up for the week It costs him zero. He's got a couch. I get sleep on it That doesn't cost him anything but for me That's really valuable because that saves me a hundred pounds a night having to be in a small expensive London hotel And I get the experience of hanging out in a house in London, which is more fun than being in a hotel So I owe him and I know that Yeah What you want to get to the point of is if you if you want to have an amazing lifestyle is you want to have a Currency that's worth a lot to other people and cheap for you to give away So in that in the situation, I suggest that you guys do trade on stuff. That's easy to give away just throw it out there and Then expect stuff back in return Because then I come home after this and I'll sit down with him And I'll give him some fucking amazing seduction advice Which is worth which is cheap for me to give away the very very valuable for him and in that way We've become friends and we bond because we took a risk on each other So what I want you guys to do is think about what is your ideal lifestyle? Do you know these people and if not take step back a notch and go who knows these people? You guys want to hang out with models and have sex with them. Maybe some people do let's say You don't know any models Who do you know that knows models Who knows models photographers makeup artists promoters? All sorts of people and then you can target these people if you don't know them Then you step back another level and you start targeting them And you may think well, what have I got to offer these people at the end of the day The thing that's worth the most the currency that's most valued on this planet is human emotion and the exchange of it If you can look somebody clearly in the eye if you can ask them how they feel about stuff What's really important to them you can engage with them on the emotional level then they love you then they want to be around you Then they respect you you do this with women, which is why I mean so many guys stay on details, right? They ask detailed questions anytime you're collecting facts in a conversation with a girl. It's bad if you're learning something is bad All right, how many how long? that this kind of thing When I sat down with those girls the other day I Said okay, so you guys are studying They're like yeah, and they're getting ready for me to say and what are you studying and what year are you in and all and detail detail And I said are you guys good students do you procrastinate you're lazy and they're like what? Because I'm immediately taking a topic, which is the study and Getting down to how they relate to the topic in terms of who they are as a person That's what I'm always doing when I'm picking a topic If I'm if I've had a long conversation about the topic the third person topic, then that's not a good interaction I only ever use the topic as a bouncing off point to find out about what kind of person they are So whenever you ask ask a question about a topic. It's fine. You can ask a question about an all topic You can ask what do you do? I don't like to but you can and she says I'm an accountant whatever she says I mean I'm in advertising I'll immediately say Do you love it or are you doing it for the money? Something like that and then she says yeah, I'm doing it for the money when you cold-hearted bitch. All right, awesome So when you have all that money, how are you going to spend it? The the the job was only ever a doorway to me to find out about how she operates as a person Yeah Okay, so I want to I want to open it up for questions in a moment But I want you guys to just Keep these key points in mind. It starts with awareness put your mind in your feet When whenever the excuses come up any of this stuff that's going on buzzing around your head You can't think your way out of it. Don't try to just Allow yourself to feel what's going on with your body and any time those words of judgment come up Change them to just descriptive words. What does it actually feel like without them without a judgmental meaning on top of it? Project your intent whenever you see the girl because the approach starts well before Is she often before she's even seen you? Yeah, it's certainly well before you've opened your mouth because if you're thinking about it And you haven't figured out your intent by the time you get up to her She's felt that negative pressure and people want to get away from weirdness and awkwardness Yeah, whereas if it's like Feel my feet want to fuck you and I'm walking up and I'm just feeling and present That's when magic really happens. That's where you have those moving moments where the girls like What is that? Because they don't get to feel that very often they don't get to feel men coming up with that kind of presence It's not it's not so difficult to do. It's actually simp. It's actually much simpler than trying to have some convoluted game plan When you get into your conversations, make sure you're challenging her on many levels and I don't mean being a dickhead about it Don't just yeah, whatever. Oh, yeah, don't stack challenges And a challenge can be anything from a raised eyebrow. So she gives you an answer like Or just silence because when you hold silence people tend to fill it Through to it's really simple and soft challenge like why? Well, what's that tell me more about that? What's behind that? You'll have to explain Through right through to if you've got a go with heavy attitude And you're like what's cool about you. She's like I'm a dominatrix. I could beat the shit out of you I'm like fuck you. You're lying. Don't mess with me. I Will need to challenge her on that level. Yeah, because if I do a soft challenge on her It's not gonna work there. Whereas if I do that to the nice girl I'm like what's interesting about you. It's like I like dancing fuck you. You're lying She's gonna she's just gonna cry. All right That's why I use a lot of silence. I don't speak very much I'm a very low-energy seducer and a lot of guys who get into this are introverted and low energy and that's totally fine In fact in my opinion seduction tends to happen in low energy It's when things tone, you know turned down but heat up