 I have clients come to me and they say, Ross, I don't get it. I'm a successful business person. I built my business from nothing to a multi-million dollar business. No one handled me anything. I had to be strategic in my thinking and consistent and intelligent. Why can't I use that same intelligence to figure out women? I'm spinning in confusion, I have been for years. Has anyone here ever felt confusion in their dealings with women? You're a liar if you're not raising your hand. Raise both hands and say, hallelujah, Ross has got it. My students actually do that. They'll actually do that when I don't do. So I understand the profound confusion. And what does this profound confusion lead to? It leads to a approach to life where you won't take a step unless you're absolutely guaranteed you're gonna succeed. And it leads to running data in your head rather than exploring out into the world. I continue to see this in my seminars. It's very interesting. Same people, not the same face, but they always sit in the third row on this side. I am not making this up. And they always ask questions like this. Ross, do you remember on your 1994 New Jersey seducing master's tapes? Tape four, side B, 34 seconds in. You said the following pattern. And I'll say, stop, I don't remember that. Did you actually try the pattern? How many times did you try it? Once, what year was that tape series made? 1994, and what is today's date? 2007, and you tried it once? Yes, but I anticipate within another year there's a 3.5. Do you understand what he's doing? He thinks that he needs to be certain before he makes the move. He's looking for performance confidence before he does any performing. Let me unpack what I mean by the term performance confidence. Let's say you walk the tightrope at the circus. You've done it a thousand times before. It's reasonably certain that a thousand and one will be a good experience. True, yes? You could fall off, but it's true. So these guys want performance confidence before they do any performing. So they wind up never having any performance and never having any confidence. Now, that's what I call a real problem, that here's the greater, more subtle problem. Here's the much more subtle problem. My meditation teacher taught me subtle is significant. It leads to a learning strategy where for every one point of action you do a thousand points of rumination, a thousand points of thinking. Has anyone ever known anyone who might be guilty of something like that in an intimate area of life? You don't have an attractiveness problems, my friend. You don't have an attraction problem, my friends. You have a fucked up learning strategy. It's a learning strategy issue, not an attractiveness issue. I could take anyone, in fact, when I work with private clients, I give them assignments. I gave a client this assignment. I said, I'm tired of your fucked up thinking and all the history you're giving me. If I give you an assignment to do, I promise you it's not illegal, dangerous, or fattening, will you do it? He said yes. I said, get a journal. Where do you live? Chicago. Is there a lot of people in Chicago? Yes. I want you to go to a place at noon where you can observe people like the financial district and pick out a guy who looks like he's got the world by the bait seam. Anyone speak Hebrew? Bait seam, balls. Got the word world by the balls. Someone who looks like he's an out the mail. I don't believe there is such a critter, but that's a discussion for another day. Someone who looks like he's got the word world by the balls, he's dressed nice. He looks like he's got money, hot chicks. And what I want you to do, I want you to imagine you're taking all of your shitty programming and dumping it down into his head. And I want you to write me an essay of the way his life will look and feel 90 days after having your shitty programming. Make it a 10 page essay. So, my students tend to do what I tell them to do because I'm a hypnotist number one and I charge them big fat fees so they want to get their money's worth. And he came back to me and he went, oh, it's just my programming in my head. It never was about me. I said, damn straight. Look what you had to pay me to get to that realization. So, I want to take a completely different angle and say it's not an attraction problem and attracting this problem. It's a fucked up learning strategy. Now a little bit later in this training, I'm going to give you the other number two biggest trap that keeps you stuck with women. And again, it's got nothing to do with attractiveness or gain, oddly enough because I teach game. So, here's the lesson embedded in all of this, the paradox.