 At the beginning, we talked about, of course, if it's not practical, if you can't use it and really apply it to your life, then what's good does it do? So, if there are any kind of questions about what we talked about in the first part, or if there are things that you've kind of been going back and forth with, and there's issues that you're having in your own life, and you feel comfortable about talking about the issue as you're feeling it, as you're proceeding it, and then we can try to trace it back a little bit into the mind and get at some of the beliefs and the misperceptions. It's kind of like, I kind of call it like a spiritual psychotherapy, you know, where if you've heard of therapy, where you go into the therapist and basically you don't go into the therapist and say, oh, I don't know what I believe about God and the nature of the universe, usually there's a pretty specific group of problems that you go in and you start with, and the therapist calls them the presenting problems, you know, those are the things that the patient has to start off with, and being, believing in this world, everyone here believes that they have specific problems, and so if we use that as a springboard, we can work it back into the mind, and it can be a real helpful kind of tool. I have this tendency to really start out real bright in the morning, you know, feeling good, breathing the course, you know, a major spiritual awakening, just feeling connected to God and everything, and just whatever's going on right now, just a combination of my line of work and just the circumstances, the way they are, you know, I might not so good anybody until five o'clock. Just I practice a lot, you know, I prepare for my lessons and recitals and things that I do and give. I don't go to any office or work. I have time to read and really get into these things that I'm reading, you know, the Course and Krishnamurti and all the related things, and so there just seems to be a pattern of, like, around five o'clock, just like, you know, this sucks, you know, I could all this away, forget it, and go run out and have some kind of ego party, whether it be, you know, becoming down or, you know, going out and, you know, getting ice cream or just something like that, and it's just like a pattern where, you know, by nightfall, it just is different, you know, and I could sit there and say, well, I wish that wasn't the case because it's not, it's not fun, it's a pleasant, and it's just the way things are right now, and, you know, I just kind of, if I think of the alternatives, I don't think that I'm not doing the right thing, you know, should I have a job or more people around, of course, that's seeking it for an answer out in the world, and so anyway, you know, it's not like I, it's not like I don't want it because I think I must or it wouldn't be happening, but it's kind of a paradox where, you know, like, say, an alcoholic is a very extreme example of somebody who wants to stop drinking but keeps choosing to drink. It's a very extreme example. In my case, it's like, you know, I wouldn't have it this way, but yet I would. So anyway, you know, moving, the question is moving through that. You know, I realize in moments of clarity that when I'm ready to let it go, I'll let it go, and, you know, it'll be gone, but, you know, still and all, a lot of times, in many ways, I choose to retain patterns of behavior just ongoingly, and really prefer to stay in a state of pain sometimes, you know, and just stay there. And so, you know, the question is, like, moving through that, you know, how do you move through that? Okay, just go. Yeah, when I heard you talking, the way you were describing it, the initial part about working, kind of studying, reading, plunging into this stuff, sometimes not seeing anybody till five o'clock and then just feeling, like, satiated, like, I've got to, you know, get out, break out of this and everything. It's this, again, it's that same dichotomy, you know, whereby the ego breaks the day, in that sense, breaks the days into two parts. First part till five and the second part after five, where a lot of times it's a common experience in the work-a-day world, you know, Monday through Friday, you know, there's my time and there's their time. And, boy, when five o'clock or whatever time I get off rolls around, it's my time and, yay, you know, or weekends. I can't wait to thank God it's Friday and this and that. But these are all categories that the ego, these are those categories we were talking about earlier, that the ego does, where it breaks, it breaks things up as if there was a my time and their time, or a study time and a party time. Where, you know, it's kind of like the more we take on, the more we lay aside the judgments and the more we take on the Holy Spirit's functions, it's God's time, all the time, you know, it starts to, there's a mindset that comes into that. I know at the other times we talked, you said that, like, even when you practice, when you practice a lot, one time, last time we were down, you noticed, my gosh, the thoughts that goes through my mind while I'm practicing. You know, it was like an awareness of, like, oh, these thoughts, you are aware of different judgment thoughts and things going through. And really what it comes down to is it's like it's a 24-hour, a day, seven-day a week job, so to speak, in a metaphorical sense, in the sense that the mind is very active and very powerful and that these flitting judgment thoughts, you know, I call them like the trains. And then, you know, you hop on the train for a while and then you, when you try meditating, you stem, you're able to get back a little bit and go, hmm, you know, and hop off, but then before you know it, you're back on another train and, oh, and Edna, and why does she have to do that? And, you know, then you go, huh. And then, you know, I better, I've sold so-and-so, I was gonna do that today and I better get going, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, and if I don't do it, you know, it's like trains that you hop on and just go ride the trains. And the course is kind of, the good thing about it is regardless of the form, which would be Mason studying, Mason practicing, Mason studying to the point where he has to read another line and then Mason going out and whooping it up. That's, remember, that's that form content distinction again. That's all the stuff that's going on in the screen. And really it's a matter of just getting in touch with those thoughts, you know, being able to watch those thoughts. And from studying the course, more and more noticing thoughts that are backward thoughts, you know, where I have to do this and I should do this and I ought to, you know, those kind of constricting thoughts that are fear-based. I have to do this and I ought to do this and I should do this or else the consequences will be, you know, some kind of a fearful consequence. I mean, the majority of the thoughts in our minds when they're untrained or full of those thoughts that have fear consequences behind them, you know, kind of like I have to do it or else. It administers the consequences. We do ourselves. Yes. Somebody else is there to bash you or bash in yourself. It can seem as if there are other people, you know, my mother, for instance, if we talk on the phone for every day and I decide, no, this day I have something else I want to do, you know, it seems like mom may have a reaction to that. Why didn't you call me? And it seems as if people are doing things to us and events and things are happening to us, completely beyond our control. Like the mind in the deceit state says, I'm innocent. I didn't do anything at all to deserve the way that person treated me or the way that my day has gone. You know, it's been a bad day. I did nothing of myself. But in actuality, the mind that's deceived, it believes it's separated from God is guilt. It believes that it actually pulled off the impossible, it believes that it actually was able to usurp the ability of God and to pull away from the kingdom of heaven, to leave the Garden of Eden. It really is convinced of this. And in that sense, it's a horrifying thought. It's a real guilty thought. Of course, as it's not true, you know, the Holy Spirit's gently this light in the mind reminding it's okay, he loves you, your father loves you. You could never pull off such a silly thing as usurping your father's ability or taking over God's role as the creator or whatever. You know, it's silly. But the mind is very convinced about that. So if we take it from that point, the mind then, if it believes in separation, it believes the separation has occurred, that the fall of man and so on and so forth is very real, then it projects that thought out onto a screen, which is the world. And basically, if the mind's guilty, it will call forth witnesses in the world to reinforce the belief that it is guilty. So it believes it's guilty, it calls forth witnesses, and by its interpretation of what's happening, it seems to be guilty. It seems to be that there are these mean people and it's bad evil forces, and that there seems to be there's evil out in the world happening to me when actually it's just the mind that believes it's guilty, calling forth witnesses to that. Now the good news is, of course, is that when you, when you start to let go of the false beliefs and you start to get past the ridiculousness and the insanity of the beliefs and you let go of the guilt, then the mind becomes healed and it will call forth witnesses from the world to show a healed mind or to show that the guilt is not the reality of it. You know, you start to see everything as a holy encounter and that's the good news. Remember, it gets back to the interpretation. That's really the only thing that's changing is the interpretation is changing. It seems like I have an example of that on how you changed your mind about something and start looking at it differently and it seemed like what you were looking at actually changed. Can you think of times when that's happened? I think we probably all have had experiences like that and that's really the power of turning the thinking around is having that experience. What happens to me is that I find that things that happened to me in the past like a long time ago when I had never heard of miracles and I guess it was before anybody ever had, okay? Because it was the first year I was teaching but then I think back on these experiences and I think this course really has always been and the things that happened to me in the past are just as much evidence of that as the things that happened to me now and the decisions I make now. But anyway, it was the first year I was teaching and there was this little boy and he was an extremely irritating child to me and we had a supervisor that came in to watch the new teachers and she called me aside after class was over one day and she said, you don't really like that child, do you? And I said, well, he's so unappealing and she said, do you suppose that he chooses to be unappealing? And I said, I hadn't really thought about it but I don't expect he does. And she said, well, I'll tell you what you are going to do. I mean, she didn't ask me if I wanted to. She told me that this was what I was going to do. She said, you're going to put that child on the front row of seats and every time you pass them, you're going to pat him on the back or stroke his hair or take his hand or make some kind of contact between the two of you to let him know that you're learning to care about him. And so, since she was the boss, I thought, well, I guess I better do it because she will be back. And so I did, I moved him to the front row and every time I passed this desk, I padded him and he began to change. Do you suppose he began to change? So, you know, you really do look at things differently. He was the same kid, of course, and he behaved, I'm sure, in exactly the same way, but I changed the way I thought about him. And at the end of the year, he was the only child I cried when we said goodbye. He was the only one that brought tears. As you know, the course says, forget about changing your behavior because it's in your mind. And yet sometimes, you know, this is like what Jeanette was talking about, is like introducing a change in behavior that seems to have an effect on your mind, or does it? Well, according to what the course is saying, is that it's never that way. That would be part of the backwards thing. But in the same sense of changing your mind or your perception, that when you see something different then your interpretation of the situation is different and the behaviors will then change automatically because of the changed interpretation. But it doesn't mean that we have the power to change other people's behavior. I mean, that would kind of get back to the old voodoo kind of things of, you know, you've heard of the stories of, you know, voodoo doll and poke it with the pins or this and that. And basically what the course is teaching is that in a metaphorical sense, you and all your brothers have equal minds. They're equally as powerful. No brother has a more powerful or a less powerful mind than you do. So in a sense, you can influence your brother's mind positively or negatively. In one point, Jesus even says that I can't take your fear away. You know, I can help remove all the misperceptions from your mind, but if I could just come and just take your fear away from you kind of without your choice or your volition or whatever, that would be interfering with the most basic law of mind of cause and effect, that your thoughts are positive and that your thoughts that you choose determine your state of mind. So it's a great example in the course where Jesus saying your mind is powerful as mine, you know, and I can't tinker with that basic law of cause and effect. I can't take your fear away. I can help guide you and show you where your misperceptions are, and I can help erase those from your mind, which will reduce the fear. And I can, with the Holy Spirit, I can help you discern the difference between the true and the false and recognize the false and let go of it, but I can't intervene there. It sure is a different interpretation than of Jesus as a deity, somehow up on a higher level. You know, he just basically says in the course that he's our elder brother and that he's equal to us in all ways, except in time. He seems to be on a vertical axis of rising up to God, you know, and laying aside the...