 The narcissist wants you to fear them. They want to keep you in a state of fear. They want you to be afraid of them. The narcissist wants you to fear them because they use fear to control you. When you think that they are dangerous or that they are likely to cause pain or be a threat with you, it gives them power over you. It gives them the ability to direct and influence your behavior and the course of events because it leaves you walking on eggshells. It leaves you to become extremely cautious about your words or actions where you are very careful not to offend or upset them. You tone yourself down to make them more comfortable. Which only suits their agenda. While putting yours on the back burner, which is why fear is so important to them. They have to keep you in a state of fear to keep you under their control. Because if you weren't afraid, you could act however you choose to. You could do whatever you want to do. You would be free and they wouldn't be able to contain you. But there's nothing physically stopping you from doing what you want to do. It's just that fear of what the narcissist might do that is keeping you under their control. It's very similar to how people tame wild elephants. When the elephant is a baby, they tie a rope around its ankle. The elephant may try to escape, but every time the elephant tries to do that, it may get attacked. Eventually, the elephant doesn't even need to be attacked. Just the feeling that the elephant keeper is going to harm it is enough to keep it under control. So all the elephant keeper might have to do is look at the elephant. Eventually, there doesn't even need to be a rope attached to the elephant because the elephant has been conditioned to believe that I cannot escape. So even without the rope tied around its ankles, the elephant will not even try to leave, which is very similar to how narcissists use fear to control their victims. They may place conditions on you in the beginning, but eventually you just give up. You accept that there's nothing you can do. You experience a sense of powerlessness, which is known as learned helplessness, which has a rise from a traumatic event or persistent failure to succeed. Because no matter what you do with the narcissist, you can never win. All of your efforts to succeed will only lead to failure, which eventually just makes you stop trying. This is how narcissists control their victims by making them fear an undesirable outcome, by making them doubt themselves and it also gives them narcissistic supply. It makes them feel powerful. It makes them feel like they are in control and it is not good for you. It affects the choices you might otherwise make. It prevents your healing, so you should not let fear become a part of who you are. Narcissists want to be admired. They want you to regard them with respect and warm approval, but once you see through their game, they will want you to fear them because they are also afraid. They're afraid of rejection and abandonment. They're afraid of being exposed and they think that if they can't do it, and they think that if they can keep you in a state of fear, it will prevent you from leaving them and it will prevent you from trying to expose them. So they will try to project their fears and insecurities onto you in the hope that it will keep you under control. When you are afraid of the narcissist, you're just giving your power away and they're just going to use that power on you. They're going to use it to control you. They want you to anticipate what they might do next. They want you to be walking on eggshells. They want you to be paranoid and hyper-vigilant so that you submit to them and then they can have authority over you. So they will always have something for you to fear, to make you feel like there's nothing you can do, as though you are trapped with them. And the fear is a part of that trap. They use fear to trap you, which is why you need to recognize that being afraid of the narcissist is not going to serve you unless you use that fear to take action, unless you use it to protect yourself. You cannot trust someone who wants you to fear them. You cannot trust that they are going to do what is right for you. They want to keep you in a state of fear because they only care about themselves. They're not concerned with how it affects you. Some victims think that the narcissist is powerful and fearless because they're able to keep you in a state of fear but they're actually more afraid of you than you are of them. That's why they want you to be afraid of them because they see you as a threat. Everything they do is out of fear. That is why they seek power and control, which they take from you by making you fear them. The narcissist wants you to fear them but fearing the narcissist is not going to serve you in any way unless you use it to take action. When you learn to manage your fear, the narcissist will immediately notice this and they will try to intimidate you even more. But if you stand your ground they will eventually give up. They're not going to keep beating a dead horse. They're not going to waste their energy on a lost cause or on a situation that cannot be changed. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Couching inquiries. You can email me at Couching at NARC Survivor at the Cuddy UK. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.