 What is self-love? According to Psychology Today, self-love is an umbrella term for different acts of love we perform towards ourselves, physically, and non-physically. This means being trusting, respectful, and forgiving to yourself. Lacking in this area can not only affect your mental state but also influence your relationships. So how can your lack of self-love affect your relationships? Let's take a look. You have difficulties saying what you really think. Having good self-esteem allows you to express your needs to others without taking it personally if they don't fully agree. Lacking in this area can make it difficult to communicate what those needs are and lead to a less fulfilling relationship. You may find yourself jumping through hoops to appease your partner instead of being open with what is bothering you. Licensed clinical professor, counselor Katrina Fager, states that in many cases, having a low sense of self-love comes from childhood. Perhaps you didn't feel that the adults in your life believed in you, or you weren't given a healthy model of how to be self-assured. Whatever the case may be, you may find that problems arise in your relationship but you're unable to properly address them. You do not enforce boundaries. It's difficult to say no to someone. You worry about how they'll react or if they'll leave you. This can make it so bad that you overlook your partner's bad habits out of fear that they'll react poorly if you address it. Dr. Elizabeth Scott, a psychologist and author, states that this is called rejection sensitivity. Rejection sensitivity causes you to act in ways to avoid any kind of rejection, real or perceived, and it can happen at your own expense. Dr. Scott further states that neglecting your boundaries can lead to further issues like resentment, stress, and even problems with your physical health. Setting boundaries is a healthy part of any relationship and allows you to be clear with others on what you are and are not comfortable with. Having a lack of self-love can lead you to neglect your needs and put others above you. Though this may seemingly keep the relationship from failing, it makes it difficult for you to feel fulfilled and also creates room to be taken advantage of, trying to be someone you are not. In a relationship, a lack of self-love might make it tough to be your true self. You might put a lot of effort into how you look and how someone else perceives you. For example, you might play up parts of your personality to another person that you wouldn't around other people to make yourself seem more positive, talkative or level-headed. Therapist Stuart Fensterheim states that in many cases this is a coping mechanism for someone sensitive to how others perceive them. To appease the people around them, they create a persona that other people will like to avoid rejection. While it's impossible to win everybody over, you may find that being authentic to yourself is much more fulfilling and pulls in closer relationships, even if they are fewer. Fensterheim further warns that many who continue to live in an inauthentic way can lead to feelings of self-doubt and future uncertainty. The phrase be yourself is the biggest takeaway. You are constantly worried about your position in the relationship. In a relationship, low self-esteem and a lack of self-love can lead to jealousy and insecurity. You may doubt your worth in the relationship and assume it's a coincidence that they like you. People who lack self-love often worry that their partner will be attracted to someone else or that they'll leave the relationship at any moment. An article from Psych Alive terms this as relationship anxiety. This is where you worry about different aspects of your relationship and put immense stress on yourself. These thoughts can brood and overpower you, making your relationship unpleasant. It's important to have confidence in yourself and your partner to trust in each other. In the end, feeling insecure in the relationship can further hurt it rather than addressing the weaknesses, settling for whatever comes your way. People with a lack of self-love are usually ready to commit to the first person who shows any interest in them and they lose a lot of their thoughts and opinions when it comes to who they choose to be in a relationship with. This can lead to settling for behaviors that you are not okay with. Many people do this out of fear of losing a relationship and being alone. However, Dr. Jill Weber from Psychology Today states that maintaining higher standards will benefit you as you have more control over getting what you want out of life. She states, this will help with your self-esteem and will make it easier to step away from bad situations. It's important to know your values and uphold them, even though it may be difficult and you may face rejection. You will find that it will be more fulfilling to be in the company of someone who cares versus settling for less. Self-love is important for your well-being and in turn important for the relationships in your life. Improving this skill can be difficult, but it's possible by starting with small steps. You may find that speaking to a qualified mental health professional is one of these steps. In other cases, taking the time to have an honest and open conversation with your partner about things to improve on can help get the ball rolling. Getting in contact with the right person is a great way to get your life back on track and deal with life stressors. We hope you enjoyed this video. Please like and share it with anyone you feel would benefit from it. 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