 The bad dark sweeps across the land, creating numerous shifting horrors. The only way to defeat it is to face the paths of most unpleasantness. Do you dare take this task? I do, oh wise and mysterious sage. All that I ask is that you bless me with whatever aid you were able to furnish, so that I may be better prepared for the challenges I will face ahead. Do you think I would make you face the paths unarmed, dear hero? Please take this and prosper. Is this it? Is this all you have? Yeah. Okay so like I don't want to seem ungrateful, but this is not even a knife. It seems like a humble boon, but consider this wisdom carefully young hero. The lessons and skills you hone in the paths, that will be a treasure far greater than any material equipment you can possess. Steal yourself! Yeah I don't, I don't really know about all that, but can't you just give me that sword? Absolutely not! It's far too powerful for you! You would, I mean you must master the simple knife before you're ready for more serious options. So you just want me to throw myself headlong into an ever changing horde of increasingly deadly servants of the big badness armed with nothing more than a glorified hole puncher, because you think that normal weapons are too dangerous? Well it is called the bad dock, but yes that's the shape of it, yes. Well that makes absolutely no sense. There could not be a worse plan. Oh the knife is it good enough for you? Oh maybe I should get out the cards, or you want to do the cards? I could pull out the rulebook and you could look at the cards and see if you could stab somebody five times with cards? No cards, okay all I want is the stupid sword, okay it's literally the only way I'm gonna last for more than five minutes out there. Oh quit whining, look you have an upgrade room in node three, that's basically immediately. Wait wait, how do you have a mat? I thought the whole deal was that the paths unpleasant were like constantly morphing and changing. I know a guy, not for you. You just know a guy? Okay well so if you've got the skills, the sword, if you've got a guy, whoever that is, then why aren't you in here running this death pit and saving the world? Because we've all got our part to play. I'm here to be mystic, functionary, and slightly motivational. You're the chosen one, all the challenges are set up for you. If I fought your dad at the end of act two, that wouldn't be dramatic, he's just some guy to me. What's that supposed to mean? I don't even have a dad. And you never will if you keep dying on floor six. What do you mean keep failing and dying? Have I, have I done this before? Yes, 36 times you've died, the bad dog grows, it swirls, it randomizes, and you can't even dodge roll once, 36 times, nobody else has to deal with this. Well then it's your fault, yeah because you're supposed to repair me, so it's you, you, I keep failing because of you, not doing your job good enough, and you need to do it better. Let me guess, you think you could do better if you had sword. Here, here kid, take it, go prosper, beat the bad dog. Oh yeah, this is it, right, you watch, I'm gonna save the world, one more try, that's all I need, okay, watch. Every time. What did we learn? I hate my dad. Hey Ricky, you got a dollar? Uh, I do. Hey, you want to give me that dollar? I do, will I get to see amazing content? No, but if you give it to dormonster on dormonster.com slash Patreon, that would be a different website that we're not using, you should go to patreon.com slash dormonster instead, and give the dollar there, and then you can see amazing content. Wow, wow.