 Does that sound of an old-timey phone annoy you? Well, you're gonna hear a lot of it in the new Ethan Hawke film, The Black Phone. The real question is, should you give this phone the time of day? Pick it up, say hello, spend an hour 45 with it? Or should you hang up immediately and go do something better with your time? I'm gonna tell you right now. The 70s was a simple time, especially if you were a kid. You were usually free to run outside, play ball, go on a bike ride, run away from strangers known as the grabber who will throw you in the back of a van, lock you in a basement, and leave you to die. That's the plot of this film, and our main protagonist is a boy named Finney, who's gonna see a bunch of his friends getting kidnapped before it inevitably happens to him. A good amount of this film is through the eyes of this boy as he has to try to figure out a way to escape his imprisonment in a basement cellar. He does a fair job of taking stock of his surroundings, but it's really a black phone on the wall, this mysterious device that's going to be the outlet for him to possibly get out of this situation. Unfortunately, because the 70s was a simpler time, it was easier for kids to get kidnapped. Apparently, all you really need is an unmarked van, a couple shitty masks, and a bunch of black balloons to remind children the movie It exists. It was very popular. Honestly, I didn't have much hope for this movie going in. A buddy of mine really wanted to see it, thought it was gonna be amazing. He didn't leave that same way. However, we both left the film feeling kind of, yeah, that was, that was fine. It was decent enough of a watch. Kind of reminded me of movies like Stir of Echoes. Gets the job done. You're kind of on the hook most of the film, but ultimately it doesn't have the reveal or the twist or that one final aha moment that really makes you go, BAM! There! You nailed it! What we do have are a bunch of kid actors that really do a good job. We have yet another tired cliche of kids getting bullied in the 70s and 80s. Like, when is this trope gonna die? And it's one thing if it's like casual bullying or, you know, chasing them around the playground, calling them names, pushing them. The kids lately in Hollywood films and TV shows are fucking hardcore. They're like taking rocks and smashing heads in. They're slamming doors into faces. I mean, I legitimately think they would go and shiv these kids at any chance they could get. It's a period piece, which I enjoy because you get that 70s vibe, the look of the vehicles, the clothing. That's all pretty accurate. They even attempted to do it with the dialogue, which I appreciate, although the mouth on some of these kids in front of adults. Whoo, I mean, Colorado, I guess I don't know. I grew up in Minnesota and we did not talk to our elders even remotely how these kids do. Pretty ballsy. Finney's got a sister named Gwen. She's got the shining or some shit. I don't know. She's able to kind of communicate or see the future and the events that are going to occur. So there's definitely supernatural elements to this mixed in with just the real-life, horrific situation of a boy being kidnapped and you don't know what's gonna happen to him. I wish it would have gone a little further with things. Either go all in with the supernatural stuff or with kind of the disturbing situations because as it stands it's almost a little too safe. And that goes with Ethan Hawke, who puts in a cool performance here, but we don't get enough of him. I wanted more of the grabber. What makes him tick? What he thinks about on a day to day? Give me a little bit of backstory. Give me some lore. It's all just kind of dangling there, but they never let me pull it down. If you get frustrated by horror films because characters are usually dumber than a box of rocks, don't know how to get out of situations, don't run out the front door when it's clearly right there, available for you to run through. This is a little bit of a troubling one. There were definitely moments where I was screaming internally for this child to just do something intelligent. But then there were other moments where I was scratching my head at how damn good this kid was at figuring things out. There's one scene specifically where he takes a big roll of carpet, places it next to a window, and then feeds a rope through it so that it hooks around a latch. And I'm just seeing it. How did he figure? This kid's like freaking MacGyver. MacGyver was a smart individual who got out of situations by using ordinary household items like paper clips. I'm young. If you're going into this film hoping to be scared, you're gonna leave disappointed. There was one major jump scare. The women behind me, who I don't think have ever been to a movie in their entire lives, freaked the hell out. I jumped forward a full foot in my chair because of the shockwave emitting from their mouths. I just my heart stopped for at least a second. I even turned back and looked at him like, are you out of your fucking minds? Outside of that though, it's a pretty straightforward thriller with a little bit of supernatural mixed in. I do question why the villain has the black phone down there to begin with. Why not just rip the thing off the wall? I mean, these are things I think about the one I'm watching in the movie like, okay, the boys in the basement, you're keeping tabs on them, but I suppose you have to kind of let that stuff go. Otherwise, like in a plausible world, this kid never would be able to escape. Outside of the frustration I inevitably have with most horror films, this one's competently enough done where I did stay interested from beginning to end. So I guess it's a win in that department. I could watch it again. I might pick up on a couple things I didn't catch the first time. Other things are definitely gonna bother me more, but again, this is an easy watch. I wouldn't run out to see it in theaters unless you're really desperate for something to entertain you. This is definitely something you watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon with the Mrs. or your girlfriend or just a buddy or by yourself. Really, you can watch it any way you want. Well, those are my somewhat boring thoughts on the black phone. I'd love to hear from you though. Did you see this picture already? What do you have to say about it? Let me know in the comments. Maybe even pop that subscribe button. Whether it's a movie review or a TV show review, you're guaranteed some entertainment. Actually, you're not. That's... I can't stand by that. Okay, bye. Not too long after I got home after seeing this film, I did see an article stating that the director is already interested in a sequel and has a great idea for one. So if this thing makes enough money and I checked on the box office and it's doing pretty well, it didn't cost a lot to make. So it's definitely getting a sequel if you're excited for that. Look for more black phones in the future. But until that time, maybe think about joining me on Patreon at patreon.com slash adamdoesmovies or right here via that YouTube join button. You become a member, get exclusive video content, badges, and the knowledge that you're helping out a small creator like myself. I'd appreciate it.