 How do you know if a man is a high-quality man? The kind of man that you want to be with, the kind of man that you're looking for. I get these kinds of questions all the time from women. And so I thought I'd talk a little bit about this today. I know it's a bit of a subjective topic, but I put together the best kind of checklist that I think that most of the women in our community could use if they're like, hey, is this a good guy for me? And I just want you to think about this for a little bit too, because you're not looking to make sure that he has all of these things, but maybe that he has most of them and that he's working on these things. And these are kind of principles that he's moving towards. And these are things that in my personal opinion, all men should be working towards and moving towards if they want to be quality people and have an excellent life. So hello, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. Today I'm gonna be talking about 10 different signs that you should be looking for if you want to know whether you are dating or spending time with or in a relationship with a high quality man or a man who's becoming a high quality man. So let's just go ahead and jump right into it. So the number one, the first and number one and one of the most important things, I think that all of these things are incredibly important, but one of the most important things that a guy can have is a growth mindset. He needs to be growth oriented. That's number one is he needs to be growth oriented. And so he actively pursues positive change in his life. He's growing towards becoming a better person. He's looking to improve himself, his life, everything that's going on in his life to being better. He's open to positive criticism or positive feedback about what's going on with him and who he is, even if sometimes people when they're on their journey then they don't see kind of their blind spots. They might be a little bit resistant to feedback or criticism when somebody gives it to him, right? But if he still ends up taking it on because that's what happens a lot of times, right? You might tell somebody, man or woman, that inform them about something that might be going on with them and they might be resistant to it at first, but if they take that on and they look at it and they go, you know what, maybe this actually is something that's going on with me, that's a really good sign. So he's looking to improve all of the areas of his life, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, all the areas of his life. He's trying to take care of his body. He's working on his mental health, his emotional health and his connection to whatever connection that he has, whether it's the universe or God or whatever it is out there. So if you're here with us right now, say hi and tell us where in the world you're watching this live stream from. It's so cool to see so many women from all over the world watching these things. So number two is he has a masculine core. So right now in Western society, masculinity and femininity are kind of under attack and it's really masculine men who are under attack and feminine women who are under attack and they're being kind of shamed and attacked and it's, this is a bad gender role and all that kind of stuff, right? That's going on right now. And I don't think that works. I don't think it's healthy. I don't think it's good for relationships. I think it's really pulled us apart. It's probably taught us a lot of good lessons about life and who we actually want to be as opposed to who we should be. However, I think that there is kind of a natural order to things. I think most men probably around 80% or more of men are masculine at their core and 80% or more of women are feminine at their core. And we've really been pushed by society to not be masculine men and not be feminine women. And I think it's been really, really destructive to relationships as a whole. And so how do you know that he has a masculine core and that he's inside of his masculine core and he has that kind of masculine shell around him? So here's some of those things. He's gonna go after what it is that he wants in life. So whatever it is that he wants, he's gonna go after and he's gonna figure out what it is and he's gonna figure out a way to get it. Number two is that he has a mission and purpose in his life and this kind of goes after number one, right? He's got something that he's going towards and he's moving forward towards that mission and purpose in his life. Number three for this is that he displays gentlemanly type behavior. So he wants to act in the masculine role, right? He wants to take care of you. He wants to protect you. He wants to provide for you. He wants to be the man for you in the relationship. The next one is that he's comfortable being in that masculine role. And so he does things where he's just that, that's actually where he prefers to be. He prefers to be the masculine source. He prefers to have someone in his life who's the feminine source and he likes that polarity and he likes being in that space and connecting with that space. He's honest and mentally strong. That's another masculine thing that he needs to have is just being super honest, just mentally strong. He's a man of his word. When he says something, he means it and he's honest and he's truthful about who he is, about what he wants, about what he's doing in the world. He's unapologetic about that. He also appreciates and honors your femininity. So he sees the feminine in you and he honors that, he loves that, he wants to protect that, he wants to care for that, he wants to be around that. And like I said, this is one of those things that is really, really being attacked right now in our society. And so it's kind of a shame, but it's one of those things that's happening. And I think a lot of people are moving back to the places that they feel more at home and they feel more like is truly who they are, not just because they've been programmed to be that way their whole lives. And so now they're just comfortable being in that position, which is what a lot of people have done, right? A lot of women now are really comfortable being masculine, even though they're feminine at their core because they've been that way their whole lives. A lot of men are really comfortable being feminine, even though they're masculine at their core because they've been pushed that way and they haven't needed to be masculine their whole lives. And so the next one is number four, number three here is that he's willing to get emotionally vulnerable. And this is something that is really unattractive if he's not masculine. If he doesn't have a masculine shell, a masculine core that he embraces, then being emotionally vulnerable to most women is not really attractive, right? He's just like crying and stuff. And you're like, I don't know what to do with this, right? You don't feel safe around him. You don't feel protected around him. You don't feel like you can let go and be yourself around him because he's not strong in his masculine core. But if he is strong in his masculine core, this is something that a lot of women tell me is one of the most attractive things that he can possibly do is connect with his emotions, connect with himself, connect with his vulnerabilities and just open up and talk about who he is and issues maybe that he's had in the past and challenges and faults that he has and coming from a humble space, right? He admits that he's not perfect and he's willing to talk about issues that he's had in his past. So number four is that he is loyal and he shows you that he's loyal. This is a very, very important one. He lets other people know that you're with them. So you're not some kind of dirty little secret. I get women all the time that are like, oh, he doesn't tell his friends about me. He pretends like I'm just a friend when we're around. And I think everybody knows, but he just acts like we're not together, right? You don't want that. You want the exact opposite, right? The exact opposite is that he'll grab your hand and he'll pull you over and he'll hug you in front of other people and he'll put his arm around you and show everybody that he's with you. He'll tell other people that you're together. He'll let everybody know that you're together, that you're with him, that you're his girl, that you two are there together in a non-just platonic friendship, but romantic kind of way. And so he'll also reassure you that being together, that you guys are actually together, that he's not going anywhere, that he's there with you if that's something that you need, which is another topic altogether. So number five is that he invests in you. Number five is he invests in you. So he spends time, money, energy, and thought in you and your relationship. So he has you in his life because he genuinely likes you and he respects you and he appreciates you and he cares about you and he wants you there. And because he wants you there and you're not just some kind of fling, you're not just somebody that is taking a space as a space holder until he finds the right woman that he wants, because he wants you there, he unapologetically chooses you over and over again and he invests in you and he shows you with his words and his actions that he wants to be with you that you are together with him. So he's not trying to play the field, he wants to commit and he wants to commit to you. So step one, remember, only be with a man who values you. Step two, refer back to step one. Just remember that. If you get what I'm talking about here right now, say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what we're talking about or if you have any questions about your situation or anything that's going on, just go ahead and ask your questions in the chat and we will get to them here in a little bit. So number six, I didn't number these today. Number six is he'll talk about the relationship and what he wants. So he tells you exactly what he wants. He listens to what you want and where you are and what's going on with you and whatever you wanna talk about in terms of the relationship and he makes you feel secure in the relationship. Go back to the last one where we were talking about him letting you know that he wants you. He's choosing you over and over again. He wants a real relationship and he's unapologetic about it. Does he talk about it? If you ask him questions about relationships and commitments, is he open with you and does he wanna talk to you about it and is he honest with you or does he start getting all fidgety and he's like, oh my God, I'm gonna run away right and he runs away as soon as you. It's always interesting to hear these women. They're like, yeah, I try to talk about the relationship and he literally runs away from me, like runs out the door and doesn't wanna talk about it. It's like, that's a serious issue, right? That's a serious problem because guys who want a real relationship, they will be unapologetic about the fact that they want a real relationship and they want a real relationship with you. If he's not unapologetic about that, there's something weird going on and you need to find out what that is or you need to walk away from the situation because you know what that is. So the next one is that he brings out the best in you and so you are a better person for being with him. He inspires you to be a better version of yourself. He encourages you to be a better version of yourself. When you're around him, you just, you feel better about yourself. You feel like you're working towards becoming a better person. You feel like you're growing and you're becoming more and you're learning more about yourself and you're letting go of things and you're looking for things that you want and you become more loving and more caring and you become more authentically who you are as a human being and that's really what you want. You want him to raise your standards for yourself and who you are and what your life is about. So he encourages you to grow yourself, to live and improve your life just like he strives to be amazing. He wants a woman who's amazing in his life and he's not gonna settle for that. And so you guys are bringing each other up. You're lifting each other up and you're taking each other up and you're growing together. Those are the best relationships. Couples who grow together stay together and so remember to grow together and that be with somebody who's growing with you. So he sees himself as valuable. This is number eight maybe. Number eight is he sees himself as valuable. He knows that he's a catch, not in an egotistical way, but just a factual way. He knows that he's a great person, that he deserves the best in life and he deserves a great woman in his life. He deserves great friends, he deserves great things in his life because he knows that he's a valuable human being. He's true to himself and what he believes. He doesn't allow low quality behavior in his life. If low quality behavior comes in his life, either from you or from someone else or from anywhere else out there, he will call out that behavior or he will remove himself from the situation and not be around it. That is a high quality man. I hear women sometimes will get into my page and they'll like post these comments where they're like, yeah, you know, treat a man like crap and he'll stay around, right? Or treat a man, what was the other one I heard today was, treat a man mean and it will keep him keen. I don't know who came up with that one, but it's actually kind of catchy. But the truth is that if a guy is a high quality man and he values himself and you start being mean to him, you start treating him like crap, you start being hurtful to him, what he's gonna do is walk away from you. That's what a high quality person, a person who values themself will do is they'll let you know that that behavior is not acceptable behavior. And if you continue using that behavior with that person, they will walk right out of your life. That's how it works. And so he has boundaries and he sticks to those boundaries. He's with you because he sees that you align with his values that you guys are growing together on the same or similar paths in life, not just because he's attracted to you, right? He's not with you just because he's attracted to you or because you're the only option that he had and he's got nothing better outs out there. And so he saw you and he latched on to you and he's like, come on, let me stay, right? And he just holds on for dear life as you, you know, run around and he's just, he's holding onto your leg. He's holding onto your leg. It's like one of those kids, right? That it Christmas time, you're at, you know, your parents place and your uncles or nieces or whatever show up and little kids are like latching onto your feet and you're like dragging them across the floor and stuff. Don't have a man that you have to drag across the floor like a little kid. Have a man who's standing tall, who knows that he's valuable and who wants a valuable partner with him in his life because he believes in his own value and he knows that he's worth it. Number nine is that he surrounds himself with quality people. So you become who you spend your time with. That's what happens, right? If you want to get into a relationship, find some people who are in relationships who are in the kinds of relationships you want and make friends with those people and you're far more likely to get into a relationship if you're hanging out with other people who are in relationships. And so that's what you want to do. Have friends that are in relationships and all that kind of stuff. So anyway, we're talking about him. So you become who you spend your time with. And so if he is around low quality people he's going to be a low quality person even if he's just showing you the best side, right? The best side of himself. And you're like, oh no, but he's great but his friends are like really kind of horrible people. Then here's what's happening is he is pretending with you right now or he's slowly decaying as a human being and becoming like all of his really bad friends. And so he doesn't allow low quality people into his life unless those people are growing into higher quality people. He'd rather be alone than have low quality friends. He surrounds himself with people who lift him up and make him a better man or are at least at a similar level to him. And this goes for you as well, right? He wants somebody that's up to his level who's like I talk about, who's a prize for him. He wants to look at you just a little bit above him either equal or a little bit above him ideally until you're in a committed relationship. He should just be looking a little bit up at you and think that you're just this amazing, valuable, awesome woman that he wants to prove that he's the right man for. And that's the situation that you wanna be in. And you wanna be with a guy who only surrounds himself with really amazing other people who lift him up and make him a better person. And so here's the question that you wanna ask about his friends. If you weren't dating him, would you date any of his friends? Would you date any of the quality of people of his friends? Don't think about it from look standpoint but look at it from like the quality of those people. And if the answer is no, then he's probably not hanging around with quality people. And the number 10 and probably in my opinion, the most important one is that he faces his past. And so almost everyone has some kind of unresolved issues from their past or they've got problems, they've got issues, they've got things from their past that they have to deal with or maybe they have dealt with them. It really kind of depends. And so has he dealt with those issues from his past? Here are some questions that you might wanna ask about what's going on with him. How does he deal with his unresolved issues from his past? Does he love himself fully or is he hiding parts of his self because he's ashamed of it? And most of us do that to a certain extent. Some of us do it more than others. And if he's totally hiding himself from his past, then he's probably in a situation where he's not really, he's not really facing who he is and he's gonna end up projecting the negative parts of himself onto you and eventually you're going to be the result of that. How does he look at his previous relationships or his previous friends and the people that have been in his life? Does he look down on them? Does he talk badly about them or does he just say, hey, we're growing in different directions. They're really great people, but I don't think we're right to still be around each other. So you wanna look at that and how does he look at people who used to be in his life? Does he forgive and let go of wrongs that were done to him by family and friends and people from his past or does he hold on to those things? And so most people that have done much of anything in their lives have some kind of pain and hurt from their past and things that people have said to them and all that kind of stuff. What is he doing with that? Is he holding onto it? Or is he letting go of it and forgiving and loving and coming from a space of compassion and connection? Does he blame people and project his issues onto others or is he learning to deal with his own issues and take ownership of his life? This is the mark of a mature human being. They take ownership of their life and they create their life by design. They're not just blaming the outside world on what's going on with them. And I'm in this relationship because those people suck and they tricked me and right. And if he has been tricked or whatever he takes ownership of it and he's like, hey, that's not what I want. This is what I want. I'm going after what I want because I'm a masculine man. What kind of a relationship does he have with his parents? It doesn't have to be good. A lot of people, especially nowadays, don't have good parents. Their parents totally neglected them as children. Their parents are drug addicts or alcoholics or they're partiers or they just don't care about their kids. Like, I mean, half of my family's like that. And it's really interesting to see. And so you don't have to necessarily be friends or have a good relationship with them as long as you've kind of let go of that, right? If they're toxic people, he shouldn't be in a relationship with his toxic parents. If they're toxic, he shouldn't be hanging around with them, right? He should have high standards and say, hey, I love them to death. And I think that they did the best they could with the resources that they had, but I'm not going to subject myself to their toxicity just because they're my parents. And so if he has toxic parents, he probably shouldn't be in a relation, you know, like really steady kind of close relationship with them. And if he has great parents, he should have a steady and close relationship with them at least to some degree. And so you want to look at all of those things. And so if you have any questions again, ask your questions. I'm going to get to them here in a second. I'm just going to go over the 10 qualities one more time. I know this, we're talking about a lot of stuff here. So number one is that he's growth oriented. Number two is that he has a masculine core. Number three is that he's willing to get emotionally vulnerable. Number four is that he's loyal and he shows it to you. Number five is that he invests in you. Number six is that he'll talk about the relationship and what it is that he wants. Number seven is that he brings out the best in you. Number eight is that he sees himself as valuable. Number nine is that he surrounds himself with quality people. And number 10 is that he faces his past, whatever is going on there and he figures out what's something that he lets go and forgives and all that kind of stuff. And so that's it for the live stream. If you have any questions, ask your questions. Here's a question I want you to answer right now. What's one quality that you have that makes you a great partner in a relationship? What's one quality that you have that makes you a great person to be in a relationship with? It's very important that you know what qualities you have that make you a good partner. It's very, very important. Know your value. Lots of highs, hello, hello, hello. B, hi, Michelle, hi. Priya, Levy, Levy, Azom from Romania, cool. Jennifer, hello, hello. Nigeria, Terriro from Zimbabwe, it's so cool. So cool to see so many women from all over the world. We have Bangladesh, we've got Atlanta, Georgia, Botswana, India, Zambia, South Africa, it's so cool. Hernandez, Canada, Georgiana says, hi from UK, Middlesbrough. I am following your page and everything you're saying in here is really interesting. Well, I'm glad you think it's really interesting. B says, so true. I once went out with a man who hated, I was feminine and blamed gender roles for society's problems. He made me paid for myself on the date. I never saw him again. That's so interesting. I mean, it's so interesting I hear both sides of it, right? Like I'll hear women sometimes that are like, I want, you know, they'll be like, hey, I want, you know, these gender roles are horrible and I wanna pay for myself and all that kind of stuff. We just fine, right? If that's what you want, that's fine. Just know that your relationship's not gonna be as good. It's not gonna be as good. You're not gonna have the passion there. It's not gonna be as amazing as it could be. It's not, you're not gonna have that polarity, that polarity principle where you're just like, you know, just wanting to just tear each other's clothes off and make love to each other. B says, we ladies love masculine men. Well, I am grateful to hear that from you, B. I am grateful to hear that. So, Arshaguhi says, hello from San Francisco, California. How are you, Mr. Matthew? Coast, you have an excellent program. Like it a lot. Thank you. Welcome, Arshaguhi. I'm glad you're here. So, thanks for being with us today. Maria says, help me. He's treating me like friends with benefits and also has another friends with benefits. What do I do? So, Maria, that's an excellent question and that must be really, really frustrating and painful to be in a situation with a guy that you really like who is treating you as a friend with benefits and who has another friend with benefits in his life. That's a really, really painful situation. First thing that I recommend you do is go pick up my program, The Devotion Switch. Go check it out at commitmentconnection.com forward slash devotion. And that program will teach you everything that you possibly need to know about how to make sure that you get into a committed relationship. And here's my suggestion. My suggestion is that you start from coming from a place where you absolutely know and believe in your heart that you deserve to have a committed relationship with a man and that you are not willing to settle for anything less. So, if you're here with us right now, I want you to tell me, what is the difference between a woman who believes in her value and a woman who doesn't? In terms of relationships, what kind of a situation does a woman who believes in her value get into and a woman who doesn't? And so here's what I wanna tell you, Maria. One of the problems you're gonna run into here is that you're not standing, you're not taking a stand for what it is that you want. And the reason that you're not taking a stand for it is because you're not really sure that you deserve it. And you're with this guy who you obviously really like or you wouldn't care and you're hooking up with him. And so you're letting him treat you like a casual fling, situation ship, hookup buddy while he's seeing somebody else. And the only person that can let him do that is you. And so you have to decide today, right now, that you're not gonna stand, you're not gonna allow yourself to be treated any less than you know that you deserve to be treated. You're not gonna allow yourself to be treated any less than a high quality woman, a valuable woman, a woman who deserves to have the kind of relationship that you want to have. And just imagine, I want you to imagine for a second here, Maria. Just take a second and just imagine for yourself, maybe close your eyes and just think about this. Just think about coming from a space where you know, you know for a fact that you deserve to have a committed relationship, a relationship where you are a priority, a relationship where a man sees you and he says, she's the one. She's the one that I want in my life. I don't want any other woman. It's her and only her. And I wanna be with her and I wanna love her and I wanna show her how special and amazing she is to me in my life. And just think about how that would feel to be in that place of a woman who's really high value and strong and knows that you deserve something great and who's not willing to settle for anything less than what you absolutely deserve. A great relationship that you deserve, a great relationship where a guy just wants to be with you who's ready to commit to you, who's ready to show the world that you are the right woman for him. Just imagine a woman, just imagine connecting with that part of yourself who knows that you're the woman that deserves this. And when you're coming from that space, Maria, here's what I want you to think. When a man brings the situation that I'm currently in to me, because this situation isn't something that you deserve, it's not something that you should be in. It's not something that is you, right? You allowing yourself to get into this situation, that's not you, that's just some programming that you've gotten from your past, some things that have made you question yourself and who you are. Who you are is an amazing, beautiful, valuable human being who deserves everything that you want in your life. And when you come from that space and you're presented with this situation that you're currently in right now, how would you respond to somebody offering it to you? My guess, if we were on a live kind of talk, you and me right now, Maria, I would listen to what you would have to say. And my guess is that you'd say something like, I'd reject it, I wouldn't take it, I'd say that's not for me, I'd say no thank you, I'd be disgusted by it, I'd walk away from it, I'd tell them that I deserve something more, that I want something more and that I'm not willing to settle for what it is that you're offering me right now. And if you came from that position and you communicated those things, what kind of a relationship would you end up getting into long-term? And so if you answer the question, I'm sure there's plenty of women who answered this question down here, but the answer to what's the difference between a woman who believes in her value and a woman who doesn't believe in her value in terms of what kind of relationship she gets into? The answer is that a woman who doesn't believe in her value will settle for whatever kind of situation comes to her and a woman who believes in her value will not settle. She won't settle for something less than what she believes that she absolutely wants and deserves. And so you need to start with the mindset, coming from the mindset, the frame, the mental belief system that you deserve to have everything that you want in a relationship. You deserve to be a priority. You deserve to be looked at and seen as the one. And when you start from that space, you're far more likely to get into the relationship and stay in the relationship that you wanna be in. You're far more likely to not get into these bad situations. And men are far more likely to look at you and see that you're a high value woman who needs to be treated special and different. It's amazing. I used to be in the men's dating industry and I hear guys talk about this all the time, right? There's certain women that men would meet and they would say this, it was almost the exact same thing that they'd say every single time. They'd say, this woman is not like all the other women. I need to do something different, right? They'd like throw away all the stuff that they normally do, that they've been taught to do in the dating advice industry. And they're like, no, this woman's special, she's different, she's unique. I need to treat her differently. I need to treat her like she's special. I need to treat her like she's different. I need to treat her like she's unique, which usually led to them putting her on the pedestal and her not being interested in him anymore. But the point is, is that there's a difference. There's a big difference. And when a guy recognizes your value and the way that he recognizes it is initially by you believing in it yourself, right? Because of the something I call the law of belief transference. Anything, whoever believes something stronger will end up pushing that belief onto the other person. So if you don't believe that you are worth it, that you're valuable, that you deserve what you want, you'll end up convincing the men around you that you don't deserve it as well, that you should only be friend with benefits material. And so you have to start with the belief that you deserve it, that you're worth it. So start from there. I hope that helped, Maria. All right, Amanda says, thank you Matthew for helping speak truth to my value and worth through yours and Helena's work. Such good reminders, Houston, Texas. Well, I'm glad that you found such value in this, Amanda. And thank you so much for being here. You are awesome. So high fives, high fives all the way. Our shagoo, he says, you're the best. Thank you, thank you. You're the best. I think you're the best too. You are the best. Bazia says, I love what you are talking about, but I have never met guy like that. Most of guys need mummy and expect everything offering nothing back. Well, you need to raise your standards and start finding people in better places. Start finding people in better places. Get those people in those better places. Terriro says unapologetically chooses you over and over again, hearts. I give you a heart for that one. There's a heart like this so you can do a heart like that. Either one, I want it. Jennifer says, boom, getting it. Thanks, Matt. Well, boom, awesome. Thanks for being here. Pthudo says, Matt, you are the best advisor. Thank you. I missed some live sessions because I was in the hospital, but I am back to learn and improve my life. Well, I'm grateful that you are out of the hospital, Pthudo, and I hope you're doing well and you're feeling healthy. Doo, doo, doo. Doa says, I guess he changed his number. I'm shocked. I always get him initiate conversations, but sometimes I do. He wants to go physical in order to meet. So I said, no, he didn't text for a month there. Was always a long period between conversation, but a month is too long. Now he's seen over a week. I think he's got another number. Why? You know, Doo, my suggestion is that you stop worrying about him and block his number and find better people to be in your life. Find better people to be in your life. Stephanie says, wow, I am in live. You are so great, Maddie. Well, thanks, Stephanie and friends. I appreciate you being here. So what else? We have Felicia says, hello, Matt. Felicia from Massachusetts. Yes, Matt, when someone really cares about you, they will be open to show you the world and will never lie to you. Just those concepts are enough to demonstrate that you are important to them. That's what I'm talking about. Danielle says, when is a good time to bring up relationship information, meaning day one or few weeks or three months? Well, it depends on what you're asking here, Danielle. You should be talking about relationship stuff from the very beginning. I mean, he isn't gonna know, right? Like, he's not gonna know whether you're the right one for him right off the bat. Most guys will not know that for at least three months or more, right? Three to six months. After around the six to eight month mark, he will know absolutely 100% for sure what kind of a relationship he ultimately wants to have with you. 100%, there's been studies done on this. He will know for a fact by the six to eight month mark what kind of a relationship ultimately he wants to have with you. That can change. However, he will know by that time. And so by that time, you definitely need to have the conversation about what's going on. What does he want? What is he looking for with you? You want to have those kinds of conversations absolutely. From the very beginning, you should be having conversations about what is he looking for and what does he want in a relationship? You should be finding out what his communication blueprint is something I've talked about. And I think I mostly talk about that in my live events. But you can join a live event and learn more about that. As Olm says, hi, I met a man who was 64. I'm like looking over it like a ninja. Hi, I met a man who was 64 years old in June when I was at his chapel. He is an ex priest because he was thrown out by the church. I felt a strong energetically connection with him two weeks when I was going to his church. Two weeks he touched my nipples and I told him, told to a friend and to my ex director, those both going to his church after some time. And a friend told me that he told him what I said to her. Okay, sounds like a lot of drama going on there as Olm. I'm not sure why you're telling us about this. Joanne says, what if someone treats our relationship like serious but still refers me to, refers me to as a friend or more than a friend. So here's the thing that you wanna think about in this situation, Joanne. And this is something that you should write down on like a notepad, put it on a piece of paper, maybe get a sticking note. You have a whiteboard, write it on a whiteboard and then put a circle around it and then put a bunch of stars next to it and look at it anytime you get into a situation where you're not certain about this. When a man's actions and his words do not align, always believe the worst of the two. Don't just believe his actions. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes words speak louder than actions. Sometimes they don't. And so you always want to believe the worst of the two. And in this case, the worst is that he looks at you as a friend and not a serious relationship. And so that is your answer there. That's the answer. If he treats you like you're in a relationship but says you're a friend, he thinks of you as a friend and you're not in a relationship with him. And that's why I always say, I always say this, you need to listen to this, you need to believe it, all of you out there. And I get women's that question me about this all the time, is it really true Matt? Yes, it's really true. If you haven't talked about whether you are in a relationship or not, just assume that you are not in a relationship. If he acts like you're in a relationship, but he doesn't say that you're in a relationship, assume you're not in a relationship. That's what you need to do, 100% of the time. You have to have that conversation. Stop looking for clues, stop looking for hints, have the conversation, ask him about it. My suggestion is that you don't get physical until you're in a committed relationship. At the very least, don't get physical unless you're exclusive, but exclusivity is still just dating. I don't care where in the world you're from, I don't care if you're from South America, I don't care if you're from Egypt, I don't care if you're from Pakistan or Thailand or Japan or Russia. If you're going exclusive, that is not a relationship. That is a dating scenario where you guys are not hooking up with other people, but maybe still looking for somebody else. And so my suggestion is that you do not hook up with men until you are in a committed situation and at the very least, exclusivity. Liz says, I love the part that you are growing together. I love the part that you are growing together, Liz. That's the part that I like. That's the part that I love is when you are growing with your man. That's what you need to be doing, Liz. You be growing with your man, Liz. You just grow with that man, just grow with that man. Just grow with that man. Adiola says, guys, what does it mean when a guy messes you after? You change your profile picture. What kind of a question is that, Adiola? What kind of a question is that? We need... LaBang says, I get you 100% I hope that's how you pronounce your name. Value from both sides, he encourages and supports. That's right. That's right. Ludwig says, it's different conditions for different races. I don't know if that's your accent or not, but that's my accent for you. It is different conditions for different races. Well, here's the thing, Ludwig. There are different things in different cultures, right? Each society has different things, no matter different places in the United States are different, right? However, there are some fundamental principles. There are some fundamental psychological and biological principles that work with everybody. Psychological, biological works with everybody. There are cultural differences that are different between people, but there are certain things and the main things that I teach are these psychological and biological differences. And those are the things that in my suggestion that you focus on. Stephanie says, I'm married, but thinking of leaving him when getting independent with two kids have met this man seeing each other more than a year. I recently realized, cannot hook up anymore but need him. Well, there's all kinds of stuff going on there right now, Stephanie. I mean, if you're married and you're seeing somebody else, I mean, that's, you know, there's, I have all kinds of things to say about that. I have all kinds of things to say about that. He says, these are so deep, thank you, Matt. Annette says, what if a busy, he is a busy person, but the little things, the little time he gets, he makes it up to me. Well, what that means is that he's making you some kind of priority, right? That's a good thing. It's a good thing that he makes you a priority and figures out and makes sure that he's giving you time. That's very, very important. Very important. Myrna says, thank you for doing this. I don't think the man I was with resolved his past issues and it was hard to maintain a relationship with him because I felt like he was hiding a lot of himself. Yeah, I mean, and that's what's gonna happen, right? If you don't deal with your past issues, you're just gonna, you're gonna have parts of yourself that you deny, that you're ashamed of, that you're afraid of, that you don't wanna talk about, that's hush hush, that people are gonna bring it up and you're gonna be like, and you're gonna run away and you're gonna be like, no, I don't want to do that. I don't wanna talk about that. Don't talk about that. Get away from it, right? And what's gonna happen is you're gonna start projecting your junk, right? You've got a bunch of junk in your mind. You're gonna start projecting that nonsense onto other people and it's gonna be a problem and you're gonna be shut down and you're not gonna be emotionally available and all kinds of stuff. And so you want to make sure that you're dealing with your past and guys have to do it too. Everybody's gotta do this. If they want to grow and be healthy, mature adults and some of us have worse stuff than others, right? I've got lots of stuff in my past that I've worked a lot on. I've worked a lot on it and it's very, very important. It can be difficult work. It can be very challenging. It can be scary. And so most people are scared of doing it but it's so worth it. It's so worth it. If you're watching this out there right now and you have some things in your past that you're scared of and you're avoiding, let me tell you it's worth it to look back at that and deal with it and heal yourself and get into a place of feeling whole and strong and healthy and powerful and emotionally there, right? You want to be there. It's very, very important. Very important that you do this. Stacey says, yes that what I want him to look up to me, value me but he don't. What do I do for him to treat me sincerely? Honestly. I want him to love me and treat me and value me. My suggestion is you go to my website. Check out my program. Forever woman formula, commitmentconnection.com. That's gonna turn. I'm taking that recording that we just did and I am turning that into an advertisement. I'm telling you right now. So you can go check out my program. This is my suggestion, right? If you're in a situation where a man doesn't value you and you want him to value you, there's a whole bunch of different things that you need to do. And it's you need, first, it boils down to three things, right? It boils down ultimately to three things. What was your name again? Stacey, Stacey, it boils down to three things. Number one is you need to believe in your value. You have to believe that you're worth it. You have to believe that you're a valuable human being that deserves to have somebody who treats you right, who makes you a priority, who thinks that you're special and different and unique and amazing. Number two is you need to position yourself in value. So you have to put yourself into a position where he automatically starts feeling like you are a valuable human being. And number three is you need to communicate in a way that a high value woman would communicate. And I go through all three of those things in great depth in my program, The Forever Woman Formula. And you can get it for free. Just go to the foreverwomanformula.com, watch the video there and sign up for free. If you wanna stay a part of the community and get coaching and all that kind of stuff, there's a fee attached to that. If you don't wanna stay in it, that's fine too. You can just get the program and you get it for free. And that's my suggestion is that you go through that because that's a big conversation. I have other videos that are live streams that you can go check out that all talks about value and how to get a guy to value you and how to raise your value in a man's eyes and all that kind of stuff. But ultimately my suggestion is you get The Forever Woman Formula. We have lots of women in our community who have gotten married as a result of using this program, who are single, who thought that they were hopeless, who thought that there's no way that they're gonna get into a great relationship or they're gonna have a man value them. And we've had women that have turned around their marriages. We've had women, single women that have gotten married. We have women who thought they were hopeless that have gotten into great committed relationships where a guy values them and sees them and loves them and cherishes them and adores them and treats them like the queen, the goddess, the amazing, beautiful, absolutely radiant and graceful woman that they are. And so that is my suggestion, is that you do that. Stephanie says, he smokes weed, not that responsible. I know I'm out of his league, but I need entertainment and men's energy as he is very masculine and sexy. Well, if you're really out of his league, then you wouldn't be dating him, Stephanie. And so my suggestion is that you should start valuing yourself more. And so there's this concept that I talk about, Stephanie, and it's a really, really important concept that I suggest you incorporate and adopt into who you are and what it is that you do. And it's this concept of sacred, being sacred, believing that your time, your energy, your body, your attention, your life is sacred. And that you're not gonna give it to just anybody, that you're not gonna give it for entertainment. You can get entertainment from many other sources. You don't need some low-quality man in your life to get entertainment from. And if you do, that says a lot more about you than it does about him. And so my suggestion is that you only get around people that are high-quality people because he will bring you down, guaranteed, and you will start picking up his behaviorisms, you'll start picking up his attitudes, and you will start seeing yourself and start acting and behaving and thinking in a low-quality way. And that's not who you are, right? That's not who you are. It's just programming that gets put on top of you. It's a hat that gets put on top of you. And so my suggestion is that you don't allow that to define you and you don't settle for that. Get into something where you are showing that you're sacred, that you believe you're sacred, and that you're getting something that's sacred. And check out the Forever Woman formula, foreverwomanformula.com. Pick up a copy, it's free. Pick up a copy, it's free. Pick up a copy, it's free. So we have lots of women saying funny, they're funny, loyal, loyalty, loyalty. My great quality is listening in feminine and compassion. Well, those are great qualities there. B, you sound like an amazing woman. You sound like an amazing human being, so thank you for being here. Azalm says, I am smart. Well, that's awesome, Azalm. Joanne says, thoughtful, caring at school. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. All right, what else do we have here? What else do we have here? April says, I am a sacred woman. That is what I'm talking about, April. Fucking hurry five, see? Somebody gets it, somebody gets it. And the person that gets it, her name's April. So let's do what April does. Listen to what's going on with April. She knows what's going on. Aero Linnar says, hello, always watching you from New Jersey. Well, thank you for watching us here. Aero, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Pthudo says, men don't want to date independent women. Why though? Well, it depends on what you mean by independent, right? Like a lot of women kind of take this idea of independence and they like take it to an extreme. And so they, they're like independent. By like independent, they mean having no room for a guy in their life, right? A guy wants to feel like he's needed and he's valued and he's respected and that you have a place for him to be there. That's what a man wants. It's not that he doesn't want an independent woman. It's, independent women are usually far more attractive long-term to a man than dependent women. Sometimes dependent women are attractive short-term to a man because he gets something that he doesn't feel with a lot of women. He feels needed. He feels like he's got a space there. He feels like he can be with you and that you respect him and appreciate him and who he is. But long-term, it ends up eating away at him because it kind of robs him of his soul and his energy and it becomes like this vampire suck that like sucks onto his neck and it's like and sucks out all of his soul, right? And he doesn't want that. So, so yeah. So yeah, so yeah. Anna says, I think that passion is very important. It's passion, masculine energy. Yeah. If you mean the passion that he has, like he has passion, then yes, that is a masculine energy for him, right? He looks at something, he's got a passion. He's moving towards something. He's passionate about things in life. Doesn't necessarily mean that it's a masculine energy, but right? Cause you can be feminine and you can be passionate, right? You can be very, very passionate and feminine, but you can also be very, very passionate and masculine. And usually if you're in your masculine or if you're in your feminine, you're going to be passionate because you're gonna see things that you love and that you like and that you wanna be a part of and you're gonna be passionate about those things and you're gonna connect to those things and you're gonna drive towards those things and so you're gonna be passionate. If you're talking about passion in terms of a relationship, passion is created by polarity, which I talk about in great detail. Aria Arrow says, what if a man promised you that he wants to? He wants to what? He wants to what, Aria? Tell us what he wants to. Priya says, some men are insecure. That's why they don't choose independent women. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of reasons why independent women might not be chosen and it depends on what's going on with her, right? She might not be, she might be in her masculine. And so a lot of times independent women will get stuck in their masculine, especially in the society today because masculinity, hyper masculine women are rewarded in our society today and the Western society today. And so a lot of times women will get stuck in their masculine and if a masculine man comes around and you're in your masculine, he's not gonna be attracted to you. So it has nothing to do with him being secure or insecure. It has to do with him seeing that you're in your masculine and being like, I'm not sure I really want that, right? And it can have to do with insecurity as well. I mean, most people, most people in general are very insecure, men and women all across the board. It's not very politically correct or acceptable for me to say that, but it's true. Most people are incredibly insecure and it's a problem. It's a problem in our society and something we need to work on. Lili says, I think we women complicate things. It's very simple. If a man is interested, you will know. These stitches are that we spend time trying to figure out wrong man. Oh, you read the situations that you tried. Yeah, I mean, if a guy is interested in you, he will let you know, right? And there's things that you need to do as well, right? Like I get women a lot of times who jump into this leaning back thing, which I'm a big fan of, but they take it to an extreme just like they take being independent to an extreme and all these different things to an extreme. So they'll grab onto the extreme and they're like, I do nothing and I never initiate contact and I never talk to them and I never do any of these things. And so he doesn't think you're into him. And so he gives up on you even though you're into him, right? I have women sometimes that'll come to me and they're like, this man ghosted me, right? And I'm like, how do you know? How do you know that he ghosted you? How do you know that he doesn't think that you ghosted him or he doesn't think that you're not really into him? And a lot of times when I have clients that come to me and they're talking about these guys that ghosted them, I'll have them reach out to these guys with this forward text message that I talk about in the forever woman program. And what they'll do is they'll reach out with this forward text message and they'll send to the guy and the guy will respond back and sometimes he'll apologize and all that kind of stuff. He'll be like, I'll have them have a conversation. He'll be like, well, I thought you didn't really like me, right? And then he'll be like, yeah, no, let's meet up and hang out. I really liked you. I just thought you weren't into me or something like that, right? And although you are right, Lili, there are a lot of situations here where women will overcomplicate it, where a guy is just simply not into them and they're trying to make him force him into him. I want him to love me the way I love him, even though he doesn't, he's not even into her. So it depends. It depends on the situation. There's a lot of nuance there, right? And it's really easy to generalize. Well, if a guy's doing this, then he likes you. If a guy's not doing this, then he doesn't like you, right? And it's like, well, it's a lot more, it can be more nuanced than that, right? If you are not showing interest, then he might think that you don't like him. And so he's not showing you that he likes you because you're not showing him that you like him, right? Because men don't wanna be stuck in the friend zone. They want somebody where they can build a relationship together. And so if you're completely leaning back so far, you're falling out of your chair and you're not showing him any interest and he doesn't think you're into him, then it's one of those things where, you need to show interest, you need to initiate, you need to do things, right? If he's moving towards you and he's showing interest and he's interested in you, you wanna build it together. The best relationships are built together. And you want a man who chases you and pursues you and invests in you, that is what you really, really want. And if you want to get into a relationship where you're loved and seen and cherished by a great man, then make sure that you pick up a copy of the forever woman formula. It's the foreverwomanformula.com. Go check it out. That's it for today's video. I'm out of here. It was great hanging out. I love all of you. We have some amazing women in our community, so thank you so much. It's an honor and a privilege for me to serve you. I hope you have a wonderful day, wonderful night, wonderful morning, wherever you are in the world right now and I will speak with you again soon and always remember, you are worth it. Remember, remember.