 Welcome back to the 21th Convention 2017 10-year anniversary live event in Orlando, Florida. Our next speaker is Richard Cooper from Entrepreneurs and Cars. I was talking to him outside before this presentation, figuring out what exactly I wanted to say. And what I concluded was something very simple. The more I talk to this guy in recent months, in recent weeks, in recent days of this event, the more and more happy I am that I haven't speak. Every minute I talk to this guy, whether it's on the phone, on Skype, or in the hallway, this is exactly the kind of speaker I want. And you guys are thinking about to see that red hair right now in Orlando, Florida. Richard, come on stage. Alright guys, what's up? So, a little bit nervous to talk today to be honest with you. Apparently my videos have been in front of about 7 million eyes and I got about 100 in this room right now and I'm probably nervous as fuck so just bear with me. Thanks, Rollo, for introducing me to Anthony to bring me out of this convention. And what I hope to deliver to you guys today is a little bit of a life formula, a blueprint on how to live a better life and become a better version of yourself. I'm an entrepreneur, real estate investor, private equity lender, create YouTube videos, written a couple of books in the personal finance space, and I own a company that helps people get out of credit card debt in Canada. So, got a broad spectrum of experience in entrepreneurship and what I've learned in my life is success leaves clues and so do failures. So, today's presentation I'm going to be giving you my top 10 tips on living a better life based on my experiences and a lot of the men that I've coached. I actually have a coaching business that I built off the YouTube channel. So, when people get stuck on stuff in their life as it's related to the channel, they often book my time privately one-on-one on the phone. So, this is a collection of a lot of my own experiences and people that I've talked to. One more Buffett, great quote, kind of just encapsulated on that. First thing I want to talk about is letting your wounds become your work. We've all got these stories that we tell ourselves about why we can't be better. Not tall enough, I'm too fat, I'm too short, I'm too ugly, I'm too dumb, I'm too broke. It came from this line of work, the color of my skin, the color of my eyes, the color of my hair. These are all butts. They're all some bullshit story that you tell yourself to keep you from becoming better. This is 1974-ish, sitting on a beach in England. Mom's Greek, Dad was a Royal Air Force Sergeant. The unusual thing about this picture and every picture I can find from about that age to around 15 is I'm always wearing a long-sleeved shirt. And you can tell by my arms. I've got third-degree burns on both my arms, my neck and my chest. When I was about a year, year and a half old, my mom had to take off out of the room and as the kettle was boiling, rolling boil, I pulled it down on myself and I was in the hospital for about two months. I wasn't supposed to live, I did skin grafts. I don't remember it. So fortunately for me, it was just, that's a part of my life that I don't remember, but what I remember is growing up like that. And one of the first things that happened as I was a kid growing up was I had a stutter, really bad stutter. Show of hands in the stream, who's growing up with a stutter or a stammer? Anybody else? You know what it's like then. So this quick video here, I just want to share it with you. How's it going? Hello. How you doing? How you doing? We doing fine, champ. You ready for next week? You ready? Yeah. I'm ready. Damn, I'm having a lot of money on you, man. Well, uh, you, uh, you getting ready to be a real nigga if you cause a, cause a, come on, next week. I, I'm knocking somebody the fuck out. You understand what I'm saying? I understand now. It took a while, but I got it. So that's Harlem Nights, one of my favorite movies. Check it out, hilarious. That was pretty much my life for the first 14, 15 years of my life. I had a really hard time communicating. They put me through language therapy classes. A lot of it came from insecurities about me, myself, what I thought it looked like, my mind's eye towards the world. That's the first picture I could find in the family photo albums of me. Um, this was actually taken in Florida, not too far away from here. Uh, I think when our family went to, uh, Disneyland. You can see a big difference in body language from the left picture to the right picture. If you guys were watching Joan of Varro this morning, he was talking about, you know, the, uh, self-medicating hug. I'm doing that to hide my scars. I'm doing this to raise up the size of my right arm, make the bicep look bigger. I was a skinny kid. I was about six foot two at that age, 160 pounds. About five years later, uh, 195 pounds, solid muscle. It took me a bit to figure out what it was, but it was myself holding myself back. It was some bullshit story that I told myself that these scars were preventing me from interacting with people, being social, being around women. I was a virgin until I was 19. Uh, I didn't really kiss a girl until I was about 18. Uh, I remember I was super excited when I was around 16. I went out on a double date with my best friend, his girlfriend, and her friend, and I was super proud about what I did in the backseat of the car. I was like, did you see that? He was like, what did you do back there? I was holding her hand. I didn't have a lot of confidence. I didn't have a lot going on. I didn't know about my own strength, my own capacity, my own ability to become a better version of myself. I really worked on my own shit. I let go of the stuff that was holding me back, which was skin deep. So the first thing that I transformed was what was under the skin. Pick up heavy shit, put it down. It's not fucking hard. Move more, eat better. Not hard. A lot of people make excuses about that, about their self-care. I'll talk more about that later on. Turns out every, like, 20-year-old needs a rottweiler and a dumbbell and some shitty furniture, but, oh, and probably an entire bucket of baby oil, whatever I put on myself there. I at least had the confidence to sit open, chest open, back wide, shoulders apart. I had confidence. And it was a shift in mindset when my parents took me to the six kids' hospital in Toronto. They took me into the surgeon to do reconstructive surgery or do a consultation for it. And the surgeon went through what it would take to fix the scars, redo them, try to make you look normal and all that bullshit. And I walked out of thinking to myself, well, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. The results don't seem guaranteed. Sounds like there's going to be a shitload of pain. I don't remember the actual accident, so it doesn't really bother me. Huh. How about if I just accept that this is who I am? And I can change what's under the skin. I can make myself a stronger version of myself. I can pick up weights and modify my body. That's what I did. And then I came to realize that scars are just proof that you're stronger than what tried to kill you. Some powerful shit. Whatever's holding you back right now, I know everybody's in this room for their own reasons, but there's people in this room that want to resolve or reconcile something that's held them back from becoming a better version of themselves, become stronger, become an entrepreneur, lose weight, whatever the hell it is. Whatever the fuck that is, it's just some scar. Chicks dig scars. If you know how to process them, you know how to manipulate them, you know how to own them, you really can become better. So what I did, this is about two years ago, I wrote this bucket list item to say that I wanted to make a body cast to preserve the scars that held me back in my mind's eye my entire life. So that's a body cast up on the wall. Does anybody here, does anybody here? I know a few of you guys watch my videos. Just show Hans who's seen stuff on my channel. Okay, so it's more than two people, awesome. That's on the wall in my home office. Some people comment and the comments are good. What do you have that, you know, a Roman cast on your wall, or it's kind of darkened over the years. Why do you have a cast of a black man's chest on your wall and sort of thing like that? That's what it is. You can't really see it in the picture, but the way that she did it that day, so that was me before and then as she was covering me up, it captures it in very, very distinct detail. So I'm very proud of having that on my wall. That's why it's there for those of you that have seen the video. Lesson number two. I know a few people have touched on this today, but you have to take 100% ownership for your life. Nobody owes you anything. Nobody's going to give you anything. You're only going to get to where you want to go in life by taking ownership for your shit. The minute you start playing the victim card and blaming somebody else, you might as well sit down, turn into a ball and cry yourself to sleep. You're a bitch. Nobody cares. The only person that cares about yourself should be you. The only person that's going to make you a better version of yourself will be you. You're the one that makes the choices every day. You need to take ownership for your choices. I could have chosen to nobody will ever love me. I'll never have women in my life. I'll never make any money. I'll be ugly, broke, whatever. I can't think of a time in my life when I've been happier than what I am today. I stand before you today at 43. I'll be 44 next month. Divorced, got an eight-year-old daughter. Happiest fuck, multiple streams of income. Women come knocking on my door if I want it. It's not hard, right? You can work on whatever you think is holding you back. Pain plus reflection equals growth. Again, nobody owes you shit. Whatever pain points in your life have hurt you, have held you back. Sit back, take a deep breath. Breathe and reflect. There's a lesson there. Use in life, learn. Popular video on my channel, sorry about the resolution. You're not broken. I spent a lot of time putting this one together. You can go look it up on the channel. You don't want to play it, but you aren't damaged or broken. Where you sit right now is where you're supposed to be. Whatever delivered you to where you are today, where you need to reconcile whatever shit it is that you need to work on, that's where you're supposed to be. That's your starting point. You can go up from there. As an adult, you get out of bed unless you've lost your limbs in your country and you've got to roll into a wheelchair. Everybody in this room gets out of bed the same way. You roll out of it, get up out of it, stand up out of it. You start your day the exact same way. You don't get to play the victim card as a fucking adult. All those bitches out there that cry about, politics, job, my hair, I'm bald, whatever the hell it is. You don't get to play the victim card. In your life, I don't have any sympathy. You're the one that's driving your life. You're the one that's going to get the results that you want. If you make the changes in your life to get what you want, you got to do the work. Nothing's going to come to you. Lesson number three that I've learned in my life is listening to your intuition. This is something that I've sucked at for a good deal of my life. I've gotten into relationships with the wrong type of women. I've made bad business decisions. I've invested poorly. If I could write a book about my life a couple of years ago, I'd probably title it The Biggest Loser. I've made a shit ton of mistakes. I've learned from a lot of them and I've learned from other people's mistakes. But your intuition speaks to you. A lot of people think that it's kind of like in the realm of a little voice on your shoulder and I've talked about this in some of my videos before where it's like if you're thinking about something and you feel this sensation you sure you want to do that? Is that going to get you to where you want to go? That's usually your intuition talking to you and you don't usually hear it until that little voice becomes a shout. Often when it becomes a shout that's when the shit gets expensive. Emotionally, physically, economically depends on what level it is but that's when the shit gets expensive. If you listen to your intuition a lot more, it comes from beneath the neck. We tend to over-rationalize stuff in our head as men. I can solve it. I'll get into this relationship and I can work shit out. Whatever it is that's going on in your head and you think that you can over-rationalize and fix it your heart and your gut often knows a path. It'll tell you the way. If you choose to listen to it. Most men, especially a lot of the guys that I talk to on my coaching platform when I'm helping them navigate something that they're stuck on they're completely unaware of things that are just sitting in their blind spots. It's that little area behind where the mirror is in your rear-view mirror and there's stuff sitting in there. Often it's obvious to other people but not to ourselves. If you open to it and you subscribe to your intuition it will speak to you. This is an example of a call that I did based on real estate investing. I put this video on my channel. You can look it up, titles real estate investing will always make you money. I lost $56,000 on this deal. I ran together for a guy to bail him out of some debt and fucked me over pretty bad. Cost me a lot, cost me some lost sleep. This was about two years ago and the guy even stole the kitchen sink out of the house. He cleaned out the whole fucking house all the appliances, range hoods everything took everything even if it was bolted down that he could sell online privately. That's where people do desperate shit and if you don't listen to your intuition mine was talking to me at this time. This is a big deal. This doesn't look like a good deal and I passed on it because of money because I thought that I could profit from it or that I could solve it. That's just a picture of the backyard as I was filming entire pool was filled with leaves cost me like a thousand bucks to have somebody come over and clean them all out and close down the pool properly before I could sell it under power of sale but I was basically paying for three mortgages there before I could sell it and get off my hands and I took a big loss on it. Good decisions come from experience and I talked about that in an earlier slide so I'll skip ahead on that. Number four. This is really interesting because I've always been plugged in almost my entire life very blue-pilled alpha but very blue-pilled and it wasn't until about a year ago because I was still dealing with a shitty breakup I was dating a single mom with a couple kids for about three years and there was a lingering sensation after it that consumed a lot of my energy a lot of my resources I was away at an entrepreneur's event a retreat and I was talking to a guy about some personal shit we were banging back and forth about life and women and stuff and he said have you read the rational manual by Roland Tomasi and I said no. He goes you have to grab that and consume it and I download it and listen to the audible. That was around December of last year so it's been less than a year that I've taken the red pill and I was having a conversation with a guy that's a men's rights activist and I don't necessarily subscribe to their notion of how they navigate the world with signs and protests and stuff like that a lot of other guys have hit on the feminization and the pacification of western society and I think if those of you in here that watch my channel have seen that video I got one that's good on that too but I truly believe that if you want to be happy, healthy and navigate properly through the world as a man you've got to do it with a red pill lens otherwise you'll be confused as fuck things are going to happen that are going to eat up your time and resources that will be exhausting that will drain you the book opens with why do my eyes hurt you've never used them before it's profound shit read the book if you haven't lesson number five constantly update your belief system I don't change my mind in my life when it comes to things I update my belief system okay good friend of mine Colin Coller did this presentation from my entrepreneurs group I'll get more into that in a moment but this is a slide that he put up for us not even a slide it was a piece of paper that he put up is this thing working? doesn't matter this is supposed to be an iceberg water line beliefs, attitude, willingness which is basically the choices that you make every day and these are your results that you get out of life so when you update your belief system comes from inside comes from your core values comes from what you believe which will dictate the choices that you make every day should I drink water or coke simple choice when I go to the grocery store and I fill my buggy or my shopping cart up with my groceries there's always a distinct correlation between what's in the shopping cart and what that person looks like physically 100% of the time you can't get away from it and if you update your belief system to believe that water is the choice instead of Pepsi Coke 7 up or whatever the fuck it is that they're drinking it's a simple way to start having a better life make better choices by updating your belief system you'll get better results one thing that you can do if you want to size somebody up is take a look at the results they get in their life I think Christian was talking about entrepreneurs and these bullshit guys online that sell these products and services and if you actually take a look at the results they get out of life the real results then you'll know what choices they make every day and what their belief system is to get better results is to make better choices to make better choices you improve your belief system it's as simple as that it's not that hard it's an easy formula for success I followed it it's not hard lesson number 6 circle of influence you guys have all heard you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with before it's a fairly common phrase if you haven't basically if you spend time with 5 dumb asses you'll be the 6 you spend time with 5 stoneers you'll be the 6 you spend time with whatever you're going to average yourself out so you have to be intentional about the rooms that you place yourself in this is my EO forum EO stands for entrepreneurs organization it's an organization that's around the world there's some business owners in here I bet there's probably one or two that are familiar with it but this is a picture that we took after climbing it was during a retreat in Las Vegas I think it's Red Rock Canyon is what it's called and all these guys are either in 7 or 8 figure businesses one of my best friends here sold the company for multiple figures largest non-profit big leasing company consulting business retailer that's me on the end you can't help it to become a better version of yourself if you're with better people it's just going to happen by osmosis my dad always used to say birds of a feather flock together right if you're intentional about where you go and the time you spend with people and who you choose to spend time with and people that you refuse to spend time with life will improve it's about making these better choices coming from a belief system that tells me be intentional about the people that I spend time with I'm going to make better choices which means I'm going to get better results out of my life so be intentional about stuff like that be aware of it if you find yourself in a room where you feel like energy is draining from your system those people are energy vampires if you spend an hour in a room or at a dinner party and you feel exhausted out of it because they're talking about meaningless bullshit that's a really good example had a dinner party with a girl from once and there were people in the room that I just did not want to spend time with ex-girlfriend that I just did not ever want to spend time with again and she wanted to reorganize another dinner party and I said I'm not going I don't want to do it well why not she got pissed off upset as fuck oh these are good people and why can't you just did it and all this sort of stuff I felt exhausted after being in that room all she did was browbeat her husband run her kids into the ground in that room again and I'm certainly not going to put my daughter in that room again it's as simple as that you make those choices and you know what there's going to be people in your life that will come and go let them go it's okay what got you to where you are today is not necessarily going to get you to where you want to go if you want to become a better version of yourself you have to find yourself in a room where you're not the smartest person in the room the moment you find yourself in a room where you're the smartest person in the room you're in the wrong room you need to get out of that room lesson number 7 you only have so many fucks to give so manage them wisely I'm going to say some swear words now everybody's played a video game there's a lot of guys in this room so everybody's played a video game at some point where you have an energy bar and it's like 0 up to 100% and you get a roundhouse and a solar plexus hit and this hit and a drop kick and the energy bar drops down it's very similar in life okay you only have so many fucks to give in your day and you can only give those fucks to things that are truly fuck worthy as soon as you start giving fucks to things that are unfuck worthy you're going to drain your energy it's as simple as that pick up my kid from school extra curriculars, feed her dinner load a dishwasher, take her... these are the things that eat up the energy of my day and I can choose where I want to spend my time and where I want to allocate my fucks so allocate your time, resources and energy to things that truly matter I met a monk once at an entrepreneur's org event he came in as a speaker, spent 10 years in Hawaii very good friend of mine now, his name is Don D'Apani and one of the things one of the lessons that I took away from that event was your energy is going to flow to where your awareness goes the way they train these monks is awareness is like a ball of light in their mind and it'll light up different parts love, sex, desire, business, money TV show, Netflix binge, whatever the hell it is that ball of light lights up that area and you focus on it and that takes energy and you have a choice to do that or not do that it's entirely within your power the problem is is most guys and I notice a lot with this with my coaching clients when I talk to them over the phone on clarity they're walking through life sleep walking and they're letting Stanley the power drill doing a lot of their thinking for them their dick drives a lot of their decisions and if you take that out of the equation you'll find that you'll make better choices especially when you allocate your energy to the appropriate places I love this picture this guy gives zero fucks flips the car finds his way out of the car to take a picture of his wife stuck in the car and pull his pants up really high that is a definition of zero fucks lesson number eight this is an area in my life that I've sucked at for almost my entire life up until the last few years you have to learn how to vet women better I've had about 100 coaching calls on clarity and probably 90 of them have had to do with guys making dumb choices with women really bad choices with women there's nothing gentlemen that will fuck up your life better than choosing to partner with the wrong woman you guys are all familiar with divorce law and how that handles men on the back end I don't need to go into it avoid long term relationships with this is my list I mean there's probably a few more main list LTRs I'm not saying don't date them I'm just saying avoid long term relationships at all costs with these types of women dangerous personalities I was actually hoping Joe Navarro was going to talk more about that in his talk but he wrote a book called dangerous personalities I encourage you to get it it'll help you filter through the riffraff and pick out higher quality women a lot faster when you spot personality traits like heavy narcissism instabilities psychopaths things like that if you want to talk about psychopaths have a chat with Anthony after about two weeks he'll fill your right in stay away from women that have dangerous personalities they will ruin your fucking life playing captain save a hoe fairly straightforward women with daddy issues if you're a strong virtuous alpha male and you're dating a woman with daddy issues she's not going to value you she didn't have a man in her life when she was growing up and yes I understand it's not always necessarily her fault but if the mom had any level of cohesion to be able to navigate the world properly grandfather would be in uncle would be in somebody would be in but there's a lot of women that have gone through most of their life without a strong virtuous adult male role model and if you want to become the best version of yourself stay away from women like that they will exhaust the fuck out of you broke women straightforward you're going to be bailing them out all the time birth order conflicts is not something I hear a lot of people talk about doctor Kevin Lehman just jot this down he wrote some really good books on birth order I'd encourage you to pick them up I'm not going to go into too much detail I'm a first born I got two younger brothers for me being in a long term relationship with a woman that's also a first born is a nightmare it's like you're always fighting over the steering wheel who's going to go where who's driving the bus I don't have time for it for me the best relationships that I've had have always been with last borns so a first born, last born, tender works best middle born can go with either the gap of more than five years between the last born and the next child the last born child then takes on the first born personality so grab that book you'll find it quite useful again the author's name is doctor Kevin Lehman drug and alcohol dependency is pretty straightforward controlling jealous had this girlfriend in my 20s living girlfriend made the mistake of moving in a woman Rola will talk about that anytime you ask him but you never live with a woman unless you're marrying her or you're getting married and jealous as fuck I don't know what her strategy or plan was but she went rifling through some of my boxes and belongings that I just stashed away in the back of my closet and one day I came home from work and she confronted like right in my face what's up with the Kelly Shrine in your closet at the back of the closet and I was like what are you talking about I understand it's like rifled off all this stuff and I'm like oh man you gotta go stay away from women like that they're going to exhaust the crap out of you if they're jealous or controlling they're going to deal with that nonsense be intentional about moving through your life be intentional about letting people into your life the more intentional you are you're going to let people go there's going to be people that are going to leave your life friends that might have been in your life for a long time somebody that you might be dating right now I don't know it's okay to let them go single mothers I'm going to hit on single mothers for a bit because not a lot of people talk about it I came out of a three year relationship with a single mother this is a meme that somebody sent me that I kind of chuckle that but I'm not going to read it off you can see it there for yourself but there's truth in every joke when you see these stand up comics up on stage telling their jokes the reason why they're funny is because there's elements of truth in them so when you see stuff like that you've got to think about it the thing about single moms is you're going to end up with double triple quadruple to heartbreak this ex of mine had a couple boys and when you spend time playing halo with little Timmy and zeroing the scope in on the BB gun of Billy and you take trips and you do the blended family stuff when she goes they go to you'll never see them again and even though they might have driven you absolutely nuts you have like double or triple the heartbreak when you deal with somebody like that it's also very easy for them to end the relationship because I've done it once at my age I was dating mostly divorce women seven out of seven or eight out of ten women are divorced because they initiate the divorces so it's very easy for them to move along and just slide into the next relationship they have questionable judgment skills you talk to single moms that have been divorced you'll hear all kinds of stories from them about why they got married the children why they made all these decisions and choices and after a while you'll start to ask yourself that's pretty questionable and I don't see you taking a lot of ownership on whatever it was that you contributed to that you'll never be a priority you'll come in behind the kids the cat the dog the extracurriculars the parent student nights you're like fifth or sixth you know the tree that needs to get removed in the backyard sort of thing you're not going to be a priority you know save yourself for somebody else that has the capacity of the time they think the world is going to revolve around her and her kids she's emotionally unavailable I talked about the amount of fucks that you have in your day to give the things that are truly fuck worthy well single moms have kids they're going to take up a lot of time and resources most single moms have custody of their children more than the men so they're going to have to deal with a lot of parenting issues mothers tend to doad over their children more than men do men are kind of more like let me teach you how to deal with this sort of thing and mothers are like are you okay are you shitting properly are you eating well and all this sort of stuff I'm in my 40s my mom still mothers me they eat up a lot of time and resources you can even ask married men in this room to be married and you'll start to recognize after a while that a lot of energy and resources even in married couples where they have the children together is eating up with a mother spending time with the kids they're not yours emotionally unavailable her kids will work against you they're not intentionally trying to do this but even your presence in that relationship you're pissing on the flame of reconciliation between the two parents whether they choose to acknowledge it or not okay even if you're a stand up virtuous guy you can bend over backwards and do everything under the sun for them you're still your presence is still pissing on the flame of reconciliation the way they see it depending on what their age is especially if they're younger they have a distorted self image all you have to do is go on any dating app see single moms in there they think they're a 10 when they're like a six you know everybody's had that experience I'm sure they don't take a lot of ownership for the mistakes that happen in their life and it's a hundred percent investment with zero percent ROI at least with my own daughter what I invest in her I get something back I mean I'm invested in my own lineage okay you don't get anything back invested in some other man's children lesson number nine make self-care a lifestyle choice because it fucking matters it's a picture from a few months ago again I'm 43 pick up heavy shit put it down be intentional about the sort of stuff that you're going to be putting in your body rest properly I don't know about you guys but how many of you get an extra body halfway through your life right it's the only one you get so why are you treating it like shit why would you put crappy fuel in a nice car you do that to a nice car it's going to fall apart and break down it happens pay attention to self-care it matters there's other people here that are going to be talking about health and fitness I think this weekend so I'm not going to hammer on that one too much last and final lesson is accepting female nature and I had a very hard time in my plugged in years doing this very disney land prince princess egalitarian you know hold hand sing kumbaya get married say I do until kingdom come and blah blah blah and it doesn't really work out like that in the real world when you take the red pill you start to recognize that a lot of this shit they've been feeding you through school religion parenting society socioeconomics politics a lot of it is bullshit that panders to their needs not to yours so as men again for true mental awareness clarity and happiness navigating the world with a lens that's a red pill one will help to help you out it'll make things a lot better for you accepting female nature is a big thing a rollo hammered on hypergamie quite a bit this morning but here's a really good visual of what that looks like you know 80% of the bangings happening by 20% of the men just fact of life you know even even like a one out of 10 is going to hammer for the stage up that's what hypergamie is I'm not going to go over that too much my lawyer when I was going through my divorce God bless his soul such a good guy Kai saved me big time one of the conversations that we had was pairing up pair bonding with women now granted he's been in family law for a long time through my own experiences and those of the guys that I've coached I discourage you from marrying down everybody does it you know you're going along in life here's the entrepreneur here's a hairdresser you guys meet up I love you she moves in your life you get married her lifestyle improves yours doesn't change it doesn't go down it doesn't go up it is where it is if you go up you go up together things go sideways there's a hard break then there's a questionable dot dot dot the way family law works and the way hypergamie works it's designed to maintain her lifestyle at that level she's not going to go back down over here you're often responsible for maintaining that depending on how long you live together if you have kids where you live in the world what family law says and you can avoid a lot of that this is my lawyer's best advice by not marrying down there's a lot of women out there if you choose to get in a long term relationship to reproduce settle down and have kids do it with somebody at your level or higher at your level at minimum or not too far below that if you do that you're going to avoid a considerable amount of problems if things don't work out women reserve the right to change your mind at any given time and men are the disposable sex Dr. Warren Farrell wrote a book called the myth of male power you might want to jot that down if you want some good read a guy was a feminist was promoting female belief systems for a long time and he started to recognize that men are not the stronger sex men are the weaker sex men are disposable you can dive into that if you want to learn about the differences between masculinity and femininity from that perspective Brafultz law and relationship equity Brafultz law maintains that the female not the male determines the conditions of the animal family where the female can derive no benefit from a relationship with a male no such relationship takes place even if a woman has accrued past benefits from her man there's no guarantee of her continuing the relationship with him that's why when you meet these divorced moms and they tell you these stories about how they got bored or how things didn't work out or whatever narrative they're going to tell you about why they left the marriage he could have been an excellent provider up to some point where he no longer served a purpose for her she had the kids they're at a certain age where she felt comfortable with ending it hard break relationships over it is a law of the world of the animal kingdom make no mistake guys you're all animals too we just figured out how to build roads turn on lights and do shit like this and you know point stuff we're all monkeys we're all primates there's no difference this is consistent throughout the animal kingdom unicorns don't exist this is a funny comment I screen captured I'll read it to you if you can't read it the video was 5 secrets women don't want you to know and this guy says I'm so glad I found a unicorn no social media makes way more money than I do never asked me to give up my way of being just bought me a brand new truck and cash blah blah blah to which I respond to things hypergamy doesn't care women always reserve the right to change your mind at any given time enjoy it you don't own this unicorn it's just your turn unicorns do not exist you might think they exist and even if you capture one it's just your turn often these things don't last last thing I want to hit on because I want to do some Q&A before the end of it because that's where I really prefer to spend my time is coaching people and answering questions human promiscuity anybody read Sex at Dawn show of hands handful awesome book read it if you've ever been confused about the way men behave versus the way women behave in society if I take my hands like this millions of years of human evolution pluck a beard hair because I don't have hair on my head and put that right at the end that's the last 10,000 years of human function and under the function of monogamy in society the way that we live today we've been programmed to live this way a hell of a lot longer than we have in the society that we live today men are designed to scatter seeds which is why we want to pork everything women are designed to seek provisioning and safety the depth in which they go into the explanation of human behavior unreal I'll let you guys take a look at that so I'll wrap it up at that so if you want to find me and our entrepreneurs and cars on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook I also do coaching on clarity.fm forward slash Richard Cooper if you ever want to hop on a call and deep dive into something you're stuck on I'll open the floor up to questions or Max if you just want to pass around the mic to whoever you can get it to go ahead, yeah it's no such thing as an iron crab prenup prenups lose their value over time so unless you have a family lawyer and she's willing to renew the aspects of the prenup together without coercion or whatever they don't have a lot of value they start to run out of value over time the intense good, it sets intent but prenups get thrown out of court all the time go ahead Max you just pick them out I like fast cars I got a garage full of 1300 horsepower I like fast German cars, it's my thing I'm not here to talk about cars today if you want to shoot the shit afterwards, let's do that I'm a little bit older than you and I'm divorced, you mentioned dating again getting involved with another woman most of the women my age or a little younger already have kids whether they're grown or not, what is your recommendation on guys your age got an older I'm still vehemently opposed to getting into an LTR with a single mom if she's got a kid or kids, like for example I've got a daughter, she's 8 lives in the same school zone is not that shit crazy and I can date her, she doesn't violate any of the non-negotiables I'd consider it but as you mentioned, the older you get there's fewer women without children women that have children that have moved out not so bad but if there's a discrepancy one of the things I was talking to a guy once on a coaching call which I've shared in my videos before is I've got a daughter and between opposite sex children, pheromone repellents exist, that's why brothers and sisters don't usually have sex or make advances to each other but the moment you've got a child in your house that's not of the same bloodline and you've got a daughter you could potentially violate her you could expose her to a lot of risk so I'm fully aware of that and I'm never going to let that shit happen so single moms unless they've got a kid at the same age as my daughter same sex, I wouldn't even consider it great presentation you've built a very very successful life for yourself and one slide showed that you said that you can truly be happy if you're red pill aware and your red pill awareness started just short of a year ago right? so most of your life you've read basically within the blue pill conditioning so when you compare both lives what do you see like this red pill awareness in the last year what make you impacted you and where do you see the difference and how the happiness where do you see the biggest gains I talked about updating your belief system to make better choices to get the results that you want when you become red pill aware you view conversations women, business opportunities everything through a red pill lens and then that way you're making choices that are going to be congruent with the results that you want to get so that's essentially how it works self saying no a lot say no to a lot of women a lot of women want to get into my life and plug into my life and it's like no, I'm good as soon as you see what the truth is and where it lies it's okay to pass and you're going to be judged you're going to be criticized, you're going to be called names you're going to be told to man up doesn't matter, doesn't bother me Richard great speech, thank you was curious as to your red pill awareness and how it's changed how you interact with your daughter and how you interact with her mother got it I'd say it's improved my relationship with my daughter same thing with her mom yeah definitely I mean you don't let stuff bother you there's things in my past a couple of years ago that would just drain the crap out of me I wouldn't be able to sleep at night because of a conversation that happened or something that would just tax me and when you navigate with red pill awareness you're just like it's par for the course we're cool, move on to the next thing for me anyway, I find that it doesn't weigh me down you mentioned about updating your belief system and also about following your intuitions and sometimes I find that I can update my belief system logically but my intuitions or my feelings and my emotions lie behind and I wonder if you had any suggestions for how to update so your emotions are different from your intuition your emotions are what you feel your intuition guides you it's a different thing completely do you mind covering the bad decision process again where you get experiences from bad decisions and basically learn from it and then how to minimize risk when making decisions or when you make bad decisions I think you know when you make a bad choice because you get a shitty result I can get the hungry man dinner in a case of pop and drink that for a week and eat out at McDonald's and feel like crap after about a week if you've seen any of those movies around supersize me, for example you see the amount of sodium and sugar and preservatives and all that stuff and how it changes your body the way you think brain fog and all that sort of stuff you should just open up your eyes when you're red pill aware I think that you just pay attention to things a lot more rather than sleep walk through life and just go through the motion of what you've always been doing I mean if you keep doing what you've always done you're going to get the same shit you have to change what you're doing to get a different result like I said earlier what got you to where you are today is not going to get you to where you want to go especially if it's higher up you're going to have to change your circle of influence you're going to have to change your choices through your belief system to get results you're going to get you up here does that make sense first of all thanks Richard I think probably most of us are here because we want to be better men, better people, better protected be more awesome all those kinds of things and I applaud all of you for being here but I think that's something that I think would be great for you to comment on is how having a red pill alpha male in your daughter's life will improve you know for both having young men having young boys having an alpha male father role as well as your daughter having an alpha male in her life will improve their lives going forward well I think that little girls model the man that they want to be with later on in their life I can't speak from experience because she's only 8 I haven't seen her completely grow up yet but boys I don't have a son so I can't really comment on it but there's a lot of feminized men out there today that grew up in single mother households absent fathers you know brow beaten fathers I call them plough horses you know you can go to the grocery store and you'll see them pushing the buggy filled with diapers baby food fucking cheese strings crap food, three screaming kids and the wife yelling at him banging on his head sort of thing that's a plough horse and you have a choice how you want to live your life you know those types of environments breed more beta plough horses that will grow up and do the same feminized thing I mean the great thing about being in this room today is you guys are exposed to elite material, elite content that most guys don't get most guys are walking around through life sleepwalking not knowing what they're doing so you've got a distinct advantage in life if you consume this and you use it I perceived your perception that your step in taking kind of like ownership of what happened to you with the burning and stuff I sense that that's part of your masculine journey is my sense and I think everybody in this room probably is going to have their own journey whether you think it's going to lean towards that aspect of their lives or not for me I think it's very important is there any other markers of your life do you think also helped you develop more of this core belief about your masculinity and why those steps have made a big impact in you developing that but I think that for me just seeing you kind of absorb that experience of having burned being burned is pretty amazing because I think we all have our own traumas and how we want to inherit that is our choice you know so if I understand your question are you talking about how you developed the masculinity I mean is there any other milestones that you felt like it happened in your life or you absorbed it and became part of your belief about you know masculinity I think probably one of the biggest things that changed my life was a class in high school called aerobics and weight training and you know it's as it's described pick up heavy shit put it down strengthen your body if you strengthen your body you can't help but strengthen your mind you know you got to toe those things and strengthen without the other because it takes a lot of discipline to build a strong body takes a lot of discipline you know there's not a lot of people that can do it so when you've got the discipline in your head you're of course going to have that that you can plug into other areas of your life so that was an early stage for me you know like that you know I showed you the picture earlier when I was about 16 years old and like 5 years later I showed you some sort of stuff like it makes a difference I mean when you get out of the shower and you look at yourself in the mirror you're like fuck I look like a superhuman you know it's going to affect the way that you live you can't help but let it affect the way that you live in a better way that make sense yeah man it's on so you mentioned that we have a limited amount of fucks to give at least used to be quite anxious and I would give a fuck about little things all throughout the day which would pretty much make my day the opposite of zen you know I'd be like constantly just monkey mind all over the place so my question to you is when is it worth giving a fuck what's the things that we have to give a fuck about throughout the day so if you value your fucks as a resource you're only going to allocate your fucks to things that are truly fuck worthy we're about out of time Richard thank you very much