 Hello my beautiful internet friends. I am not great with words today because my brain is not in a great place But here's the thing. I always have and hopefully always will believe in sharing the truth I'm not in a great mental place and I haven't been for a while I want to talk to you about something that's been helping me because I know that not everyone is always doing great all the time And so maybe this will help you too. I am not month eight post amputation. I am in pain I have no movement forward. I'm waiting on surgery, which will be happening and that has taken a Pretty hard hit on me. I know it'll be okay I know it'll work out eventually that doesn't numb the grief or the sting of it and just having a rough time, right? So I'm in counseling. I'm gonna stay in counseling because I think that's really important for me right now And I've been dealing with a lot of depression like the dark scary kind at the same time I've been learning about something called positive psychology kind of like positive thinking except it actually works I I don't love positive thinking positive thinking is that whole idea of being like Replace every negative thought with a positive thought and you'll do great or like just stop thinking negative Stop dwelling in the past or whatever. It's just it's oversimplified thinking, right? And also a lot of the concepts that positive thinking talks about aren't logically or Psychologically sound now positive psychology absolutely does have research backing it up it has to do with it has to do with moving towards more optimism and becoming more resilient and Savoring the good things in life and knowing that things can suck and they're also gonna be hope at the same time So kind of holding that duality of life And that's what I've been trying to do and a practice that my counselor shared with me was something called savoring I was like, what is that? It sounds like eating delicious food Which if that's the case I am totally on board for no what it actually is is let's say you like coffee I'm gonna use as an example because I love coffee and I have coffee every day If you usually grab coffee on your way out the door It's something that you enjoy instead of grabbing it on your way out take three minutes literally three minutes and sit down to actually enjoy it and focus on the way it tastes and smells or if you really like Dancing to music or you really enjoy a certain, you know album that came out or playlist or whatever Spend the time doing nothing spend three to five minutes just listening to that just immersing yourself in that music like rocking out To it or whatever that is and then move along with your day everyone can find three to five minutes I promise you I promise you somewhere in your day. There is three to five minutes I often feel like I don't have time, but it's never true You can make it and so I've been trying to do that and it's hard to get in the habit of it I like actually let the rest of things go and it's okay. If you can't let everything else go It's okay if your mind is still in other places, but it's a good practice to have and something when I started yesterday was Art here's the thing with art for me. I'm an artist I would classify myself as an artist because artist something I love something I enjoy and I'm sold pieces before now that you have to sell pieces to be an artist But I haven't participated in being an artist for a very long time at least nothing significant a few sketches at most It's it scared me because I'm so like paralyzed by it not being perfect. I just don't do anything I just don't I just don't pick up my pen I don't open my box of supplies that I don't do anything And I think that's a real tragedy because art is not about perfection art is about interpretation It's about expression and it's something that I used to love doing it's something that really helped my mental health before And I've totally cut it out of my life And you know what that's not a super smart thing to do because it's something I'm physically capable of doing right now That helps me and so yesterday I sat down at this art desk and started drawing for drawing sake I'm drawing silly little circles and filling them in with different designs and you know what it helps for a few seconds For a few minutes. I don't take a lot of time I'm just taking a few minutes on my lunch break today to draw a little bit more in a chat with you guys But it is a quick break for a few minutes from all the challenging hard dark heavy things And I think we can all use that things are heavy right now And they don't feel like they're going to lighten up anytime soon and that is uncomfortable But I also can't predict the future I also don't know what's coming and so I'm gonna spend the time that I have Investing in the things I need to invest in like actually taking care of my mental health so that I stick around I'm not sure what it's like for you But there's a lot of emphasis in my life on Achieving things I'm getting things done on like checking things off the to-do list because I always feel like I'm behind I always feel like I'm drowning in things I think like okay if I get this list of things done then I can relax but actually the list of things will never be done and That's something I'm trying to actually realize a little bit more. We don't have to check everything off the to-do list We don't have to achieve something before we earned time to enjoy life We can just actually take time to enjoy the things that make life worth it I get so caught up in going and going and going I think coming back to the things that that make us stop for a second that make us realize where we are We become mindful that we actually exist in this moment are worth spending time on so what is that for you in your life? What is something that you enjoy? I was going to say it can be something really simple But I think it almost not should be but like should be something really simple. What do you enjoy in your day? What is something that doesn't suck? What is something that you like that you could spend just a little bit more time actually absorbing actually focusing on for me? That's gonna be coffee and drawing a little bit more. I'm speaking of drawing a little bit more I've also started a campaign on my patreon that if you join a certain tier in the next few days I will actually send you a little piece of art It's gonna be sketch for me to you just for you in an actual original piece of art So hop over there if you want to check it out Let me know what is something that you can spend time savoring Like I said, this is something that there's actual psychology behind and apparently it does work And I actually have felt positive effects in my own life so far So I would love to hear what those things are for you or what that thing is for you I am really really grateful that you're willing to spend a few minutes of your day listening to me talk to you guys It means a lot to me and it really helps So thank you and a huge thank you to all of my patrons over on patreon You guys really help me more than you know, I love you guys all I'm thinking of you and I'll talk to you in the next video By the way tomorrow, it's taboo Tuesday, you know cool new series I have on my channel that I'm actually really enjoying. We're talking about shoes See if you can figure that one out I look forward to hearing your reaction on that video too. Hang in there guys. I'll talk to you soon