 For me, going through that process myself, it was also about separating out actions from intention as well. Just thinking about my experience in times where I perhaps haven't behaved the best way or communicated the best way. I was like, okay, well, I was intending this, but it came across as this. Just being aware of that fact was very helpful with processing things, and I feel like a lot of autistic people, we go through the school system. We go through the workplace, we go through a society with this very heavy negative bias of people. You see a lot of people in the autistic community who have a very, very negative regard for neuro-typical individuals, which is founded like it makes sense, but we do develop a lot of self-defensive mechanisms. We learn from other people how to communicate with them to keep ourselves safe. We have very negative views of people which help us not get too excited or expect too much out of interactions. They're all very protective things, but they also hold us back from really connecting with people, which going through understanding my past was almost mandatory for me, being able to connect with other people in adulthood. Yeah, I think one of the things that with non-autistic realities will help me understand, rather than being generalist about this, is that there is more than one way to be non-autistic. Just like there is more than one way to be autistic. That actually opens up a whole potential idea that actually everyone is an individual. Everyone is going through their own stuff. Everyone is in different environments, which will tend to be a bit of a mess. Everyone's going through, because of their environments, different things. I could talk to someone who's non-autistic and they could relate to a part of my autism, which is fine. That's perfectly reasonable. It certainly can happen. I remember speaking to an ex-staff member who wasn't on the spectrum, but she was face-blind like me. We just had this nice chat about how her face-blindness had an impact on her and the indirect communication. Yes, and it was quite interesting. I just felt okay, but that just shows to me, and Donna was very much of the same out that if we are going to talk about non-autistic, let's not create further burn bridges. Yeah, we don't want to, because they are the key to us getting what we need. They are the majority. We need them. I suppose, yes, you could look at it like that, indeed. It seems that I suppose I'm looking at it from an egalitarian point of view, where you have some separation. Some separation of things is very man-made, so these separations of people, these separations of race, there's only really one race, as Jane Elliott says. She's an anti-racism teacher and educator, and it's human race, and it drummed into us that there's four races, and there isn't, there's just one race. I think what we have to be very careful with, with labels, in non-autistic description, if you want to describe someone as non-autistic, don't make it I'm trying to find the word, if you start giving it negative connotations, like them and us all the time, you run the risk of someone, non-autistic people, being very worried about what they can and can't say, and because I've been in the advocacy movement for 13 years, I've seen very militant autistic people in a very privileged position, such as advocacy, which is fine. I can understand, like you, why they probably got to the point where they have mental health-wise, but if you start being rude, and I mean, generally, genuinely rude to people, you then create this inability to kind of debate, disagree, offer a different perspective, learn from someone's experience, and that's, words can get in the way as much as they can matter, so you can have words that people don't like, like high and low functioning, etc., severe and mild and things like this, but equally, I can have a conversation with someone who uses those words and not get reactive, because it's their choice to use those words, I know people don't like them, and they may have a very good reason for using them, which I will try and understand, so what I am all for is even within the community, and this is probably why it goes back to what you're saying about how I've aided my own self-esteem, is to become a bit more autonomous, to become a bit more self-directing, to become not to the point of denying other people's reality, so in other words, what I'm saying is even through the lens of maybe disagreement, not liking certain words, we can still have a dialogue, potentially, I'm willing to, the only rule I have is don't be rude, and I mean genuinely rude, and that is it, if we can just, that's the only rule, you can be firm with me, you can certainly be blunt if you feel you need to, or if that is your style of communication, I don't mind that, yeah, let's learn from other people, even people we don't agree with, we can learn from, even people where we don't fully understand their reality, we can still learn from. I've met a lot of autistic people who I don't particularly like, I've met a lot of neurasibicals that I don't particularly like, sure there is, there tend to be that miscommunication barrier, which can put a somewhat of a barrier to connecting with neurotypical individuals, but my mom's neurotypical, I've dated neurotypical individuals, I have friends who are neurotypical, it's very much, personality is definitely a really big factor in that, and I've had a lot of people who have, whenever been talking about dating and trying to give some resources for neurotypicals to understand, or it's a bit better to get on with us better. There's been some autistic people who have been like, oh, no, we just need to find another autistic person, or like, it's not a good mix for us to be with a neurotypical person, it's like, there are some challenges to it, but there are also challenges to autistic-autistic relationships, and it's not as black and white as people would think. So I really like that idea, and I can imagine that, you know, in your case, kind of, processing information for the past in that way is being very helpful for you. It also has been, you know, very, very helpful for me as well, like, in terms of understanding myself, feeling a bit better about myself and understanding people, forgiveness, you know, all of that thing is very, very important. Forgiveness isn't, forgiveness is powerful because it's not expecting them to say, I'm sorry. I think that's where we get, it's about you. It's a personal thing. It's a personal internal thing. It's not literally them coming up to and saying, angry is not fun. It's not being angry affects you. Yes. Yeah, I've met people who are in that sphere still, where if I bring up school, it's too triggering or they're not, they're in the weeds of the metaphorical weeds of trying to get the weeds out. So they're within the weeds of the garden and they may not have the tools to get rid of them yet. Or they just simply aren't there yet emotionally to actually, actually deal with it. And that's not me being judgmental. I was there, you know, if I go back 10, 13 years, I was totally yeah, very great victim mindset for a lot of my, my time on the surf. Yeah, victimhood's an interesting one, isn't it? I don't know if it's similar for you, but the way I've just felt that is I was victimized, but I wasn't, I choose not to be a victim. So I was victimized, but I don't filter that into my identity. And that was a real, I don't think I ever felt like one really I felt upset about the world, but I never felt the world was completely giving me a hard time. I would have moments of thinking that but it wouldn't be like my whole life, but like it wouldn't go on for days or weeks, but I would have moments of self pity. And I think there are healthy amounts of self pity. I do believe you have empathy as well, if you get it in different ways, slightly better way. And it's a, it's a slightly different mindset because you're actually acknowledging the pain rather than, you know, completely developing you. But yeah, but luckily the counselor I've been with recently has been very good at explaining things in a way that's, I suppose, quite tangible and understandable. But yes, well, it sounds to me like you've come to a similar place in your life where you're, you're you're building up rather than being stagnant, which is a horrible place to be. Yeah. You're pulled back by your past and your past experiences. It's not a good place to be in.