 They hear Dr. Dan Peele. The human mind is like a cave. Beyond the light, there are dark passageways and mysterious recesses. I, Dr. Daniel Dan Peele, have explored those unknown retreats and know their secrets. In a moment of return, they hear Dr. Dan Peele, but first, Dr. Daniel Dan Peele, the authority on crime psychology, has an unhappy faculty for getting himself mixed up in hazardous predicaments. Because of his astonishing revelations regarding the workings of the criminal mind. As our story opens, we find Dr. Dan Peele in his office dictating to his pretty young secretary, Rusty Fairfax. It is, therefore, with regret that I'm forced to use the following incident as an example of this type of criminal mind. Mr. Fairfax and I have been invited to attend the engagement party of Miss Hazel Humphrey and Count Andre Devegy. There you are, Dan Peele. Enjoying yourself? I am, Mr. Humphrey. It's been a long time since I've seen so many celebrities of one gathering. You notice any criminal types among them? Yes. As a matter of fact, they're quite a few. What? Well, who for heaven's sake? It would be hardly discreet for me to single out those among your friends whom I believe to have criminal tendencies, Mr. Humphrey. But look here, you can't just make a sweeping statement like that and then refuse? I'm sorry, Mr. Humphrey, but unless you can tolerate sweeping statements, you shouldn't ask sweeping questions. Fair, I see. I think we'd better understand each other, Mr. Humphrey. I strongly suspect that you invited Miss Fairfax and myself to your weekend house party because you're secretly amused by the nature of my work. Really, Dan Peele? I take my work quite seriously, you know, Mr. Humphrey. I tend to be honest in my opinions also, otherwise I can hardly hope for success. Honesty is the best policy, don't you think? Of course, of course. And now that we've reached an understanding, Miss Fairfax and I would be happy to leave if you feel it. Oh, not at all. Oh, look here, Dan Peele. Perhaps I owe you an apology. No, no, frequently I won't. The sort of thing it's often necessary to point out to my friends that I'm not an entertainer, but a professional man. Why, quite? As a matter of fact, Dan Peele, I'm rather glad you're here. Oh. My wife is wearing her diamond pendant. It's quite valuable, you know. Indeed, I do know. The Humphrey pendant is famous. I understand it's been evaluated at $100,000. Yes. And now that you've mentioned that, well, that there are criminals present... Well, you misunderstood me, Mr. Humphrey. I didn't say there were criminals present. I said there were many people present who possessed criminal tendencies. Well, it amounts to the same thing. All right, Joe, now I am alarmed. I think perhaps I'd better warn Edna and suggest that she... Well, here's the young lady. Yes. Some party, eh, Dan? Oh, hello there, Mr. Humphrey. Uh-huh, hello. Oh, yes, yes, of course. You're Miss Fairfax, man-filled secretary. I'm sorry I didn't... Don't apologize. With this gang, I don't blame you for forgetting the names of half of them. Or do you know them all? No, I'm sorry to say I don't. And now if you'll excuse me, I must find Edna. What's the matter with him? Am I poison or something? Mr. Humphrey is disturbed over the fact that his wife is wearing her famous diamond pendant, Miss Fairfax. Well, why shouldn't she wear it? What kind of a bang did she get out of owning the thing if she keeps it locked away in a safe all the time? Oh, Miss Fairfax, I'm afraid you'll never understand human nature. Some people enjoy possessing valuable articles, even though they may never see them. Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know much about human nature, but I know an unhappy bride to be when I see one. Oh, and to whom are you referring, Miss Fairfax? Hazel Humphrey. Who else? Hazel Humphrey? The young lady whose engagement is about to be announced? Come, come, Miss Fairfax. Hazel Humphrey is making an excellent match. Who says so? Why, why, everybody. The papers have been full of it. And how do the papers know how a girl feels deep down in her heart? I haven't the remotest idea how the newspapers happen to know such things, Miss Fairfax. Yet I must confess that they publish facts with an air of assurance. Well, this time they missed the boat. Take a look over there. Over where, Miss Fairfax? Over there in the doorway at the dining room. See that tall blonde girl talking to the short man with a moustache? Oh, yes. What a gorgeous creature. You would notice that. Well, anyway, that's Hazel Humphrey. And the person she's talking to is Count Andre Devallier. Is it really? Well, well. Does she look happy to you? I see what you mean. She doesn't seem to be playing the role of the ecstatic bride-to-be, does she? Oh, well, probably a lover's tiff. Lover's tiff, my foot. She doesn't want to marry the guy. Her mother's driving her into it because Count Fatso has a title. Oh, Dan, can't you do something? Do something? I? Come, come, Miss Fairfax. Let's be serious. I am serious. Look, you're supposed to know all there is to know about human nature and human instincts and all that sort of thing. Why don't you get in there and help that poor girl out? Miss Fairfax, must I remind you that... Oh, yes, yes. I know. You're only interested in the criminal mind. All right. It's criminal if you stand to one side and let that poor girl fall into the clutches of that money-grading fool. That's quite enough, Miss Fairfax. I'm not conducting an advice to the LaVloire Bureau. I haven't the faintest interest in whether Miss Humphrey marries Count Devallier or whether she jumps from the Brooklyn Bridge tomorrow at dawn. Now, is that clear? It certainly is. And a lot of other things are clear also, Dr. Daniel Danfield. It's clear that you're stubborn and selfish and that you can't see beyond the end of your nose. Miss Fairfax? It's clear that I was a fool who have ever hoped that someday you might thaw out and act human. Act human? It's clear that I think you're a prude and that someday I hope you'll fall in love and learn what it's like. Oh, my sherry, tonight you are very, very loving. You are like the summer sunset over the ocean. Oh, André, for heaven's sake, relax. Oh, my sherry. Now, look, darling, let's get things straight, once and for all. You don't have to put on an act for my benefit. I know you don't love me. Oh, dear, my sherry. What is this thing you say? Well, do you? But we, please, you must understand. To me, you are like the summer shower to the patch grass. You are like this. Oh, nuts. André, listen, you're a good guy and all that. You weren't such a little half-baked roly-poly. I could probably go for you. The fact of the matter is, I'm in love with someone else. My sherry. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to double-cross you. We've made a deal and it's done. A deal, my sherry? Sure, my family's got money and you want in, OK? You have a title and my mother and father are willing to pay for it. I am the gold. What is this gold? Oh, forget it, darling. Other girls have been sold down the river before. Why don't you run along and... Oh, dear, all this talk of selling goats down the rivers. I do not understand. Please, I have more words to speak. I count André, Amy, Pierre, Olivier, I have the great love for you. This you must understand. In no other way will I make the marriage. Oh, that's well. Now that it's settled, leave us forget the double-talk and make with the merriment, shall we? We, so long as there is between us, as you understand it, we are interrupt. Oh, hello, Edwin, what's on your mind? The big pardon, miss. There's a gentleman waiting to see you in the library. Tell him I'll be right there. André, darling, you have to excuse me for a minute. Why don't you go into the dining room and have a little bet? But these gentlemen... Oh, nobody important, darling. Just an insurance agent who want to talk to me about our engagement gift. Don't bother, darling. I prefer to handle it myself. See you later. Oh, Ray, why did you come here? Don't you realize what will happen if you... It won't make any difference now, as I'm seen. No difference? But Ray... I came to say goodbye, Hazel. Goodbye? Oh, Ray, you mustn't talk like that. You mustn't... Sorry, darling. I thought it all over. It just won't work with us. It wouldn't be fair to you. Oh, now stop it, Ray. You don't mean that. You can't mean it. Now listen to me, Hazel. I'd be allows if I... If I took you away from the things you're used to from the manner of living that you... Oh, Ray. Ray, we've been all over that before. We've settled it. We agreed that neither of us could be happy without the other. Don't those promises mean anything? I haven't got a nickel, Hazel. I'm your father's gardener. This sort of thing is for story books. It doesn't work in real life. It does, it will. Oh, Ray. Don't you realize what you're doing to me? It's only because of you that I've been able to go through with all this engagement business to tolerate the sentimental mush of that detestable little Frenchman. Devalier's your type. He can give you what you want. He isn't my type. He can't give me what I want. Well, I'll not marry him, whatever happens. Hazel, you've got to. Have I? Oh, Ray. Have you stopped loving me? Is that it? You know it isn't. I'll never stop loving her. Well, then there's only one answer, darling. We'll have to go through with our plans, because if we don't, I'll make a worse mess out of things. Oh, Hazel, do you mean that? Oh, every word. Oh, my darling. I hope that's what you'd say. Oh, Ray. Ray. Hazel. Hazel, the idea. Oh, mother. So this is what's been going on. Hazel, I machine. Oh, just a minute, Mrs. Humphrey. It isn't Hazel's fault. That's quite enough, young man. Go back to your quarters at once. Pack your things and get out. No. Ray, you stay here, please. Hazel. How dare you defy me? Well, I'm sorry, mother. I hope we could avoid this scene. I hoped it... Well, I hoped it would be all over before you found out. Found out what? I'm not going to marry Count Davighier, mother. Hazel. I'm going to marry Ray. Hazel, are you out of your mind? No, I'm quite sane. I can't help it. It's Ray I love, and it's Ray I'm going to marry. Is it? We'll see about that. Well, Raymond, are you going to obey my orders? I'm sorry, Mrs. Humphrey. Leave this house at once. When I do, I'm taking Hazel with me. Why, you... You father. Oh, mother. And you, my own daughter. Is this the way you express your gratitude, after all your father and I have done for you, giving you every advantage, sending you to the best schools, arranging for you to meet the right people? And now this. Oh, mother, I know I'm grateful for what you've done for me, only... Well, only sometime I've got to begin living my own life. Oh. Doing things that I think are right. Things that you think are right. Do you think it's right to hold a clandestine meeting with your... your sweetheart, at your own engagement party? You know how much this party is costing your father and me. No, and I don't care. I didn't want the party and you know it. What was your own doing? I've told you a thousand times I didn't love Count Davie. That I wouldn't marry him. Yet you went ahead planning and scheming. Convinced that I'd be carried away with all the glitter and glamour. And... and yield. Well, I won't. Hazel. You should be thankful I didn't embarrass you by not appearing at all. I can't believe it. Oh, this isn't my girl talking. This isn't the child I... I've reared with such loving care and... Oh, mother, stop it. Stop it. The little girl whom I've sheltered and protected... Oh, for heaven's sake, mother. Stop the drama. Haven't you any feeling? Do you realize that, Ray, and I love each other? Love each other. Oh, my God. You're not capable of knowing whether you love anyone or not. Love indeed. What has love got to do with it? When you've an opportunity to marry a man with a title of... Just a moment, Mrs. Humphrey, please. Well, what do you want? I want to tell you my purpose in coming here tonight. I came to tell Hazel I was going away. I came to tell her that you were right, that a marriage between us wouldn't work. I asked her to release me from my promise. Well, then... She refused, Mrs. Humphrey. And I thank heaven I had sense enough to listen. Now that I know what kind of a woman you are, how selfish and unfeeling and cruel... What? There's nothing could stop me from taking her away. Oh, Ray, you fool. You young, stupid fool. What are you going to live on? The money you make as a gardener. I won't be a gardener forever. If Hazel isn't satisfied with the money I make, I'll get more. I'll get it if I have to steal it. Had I known of the foregoing incidents at the time the diamond pendant was stolen, it would have helped immeasurably in apprehending the criminal. Mrs. Humphrey and her young man did not leave the party that night. Whether this was out of consideration of the girl's parents, or whether they felt that by waiting a few days they could convince Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey of the wisdom of their decision, I did not discover. At any rate, both the young people were present when the robbery occurred. I was sleeping soundly when Mr. Humphrey knocked on my bed. Come in. Oh, it's Mr. Humphrey. Danfield, in Heaven's name, get up. Something terrible has happened. Oh, something terrible? My wife's diamond pendant has been stolen. Stolen? Yes, stolen. Good Heavens, man. Don't you understand what this means? Well, naturally, Mr. Humphrey, the loss of the pendant must mean considerable... It's more than the mere loss of the pendant. Don't listen to me. If those diamonds aren't recovered, it will mean my complete financial ruin. I, uh, I don't believe I understand. I had intended to sell the pendant next week. Things have not been going well with me financially. It's been necessary to keep up appearances. Danfield, I suppose this will shock you as it would many people. But the truth is, I'm broke. Well, that explains it. Explains what? Nothing, nothing. Uh, tell me, Mr. Humphrey, this marriage of your daughter to Count W.A. W.A. has connections. He believes that I'm rich. With the funds I received for the pendant, I could have satisfied my creditors until W.A. put me next to something good. Hmm. This is indeed amazing. Was the, was the pendant insured, Mr. Humphrey? Oh, no. I was forced to allow the insurance to lapse. When did the robbery take place? Sometime in the night. I was a brief shower. I woke Mrs. Humphrey. She lay for a while listening, thinking she'd heard a noise. Presently it stopped raining completely and she heard the heavy breathing of a man. And then what did she do? Nothing. She lay still waiting. Apparently the burglar must have thought that she'd gone back to sleep. He crossed to the open window and jumped to the lawn below. That's rather an extraordinary story, Mr. Humphrey. As a matter of fact, I don't believe it. I beg your pardon. I should thank you, Mike. I suppose Mrs. Humphrey screamed and aroused the household, demanding everybody's arrest. Well, I know. She, she told no one but me. I rather thought it best to keep the thing quiet until you'd had a chance to investigate. Now look here, Danfield, if you're suggesting that... That last statement interests me, Mr. Humphrey. Tell me, did your wife recognize the figure that jumped from the window? I know. That is she, uh... Well, she rather thought it first that it was our gardener, a young man named Raymond Errol. But she was by no means sure. Ah. What do you mean? Ah. Nothing. Just, uh... ah. Where is your wife now, Mr. Humphrey? She remained in bed. The experience upset her considerably. I've sent for Dr. Chandler. I see, uh... Now, will you, uh, please come at the time? At the time? Well, it's, uh... 6.45. Thank you, Mr. Humphrey. If you'll wake Miss Fairfax and ask her to join me outside in 15 minutes, I think I shall not only be able to identify your thief, but recover your wife's diamond pendant. We'll return to die danger, Dr. Danfield, in the moment, but first... It seems to me you were bragging too much when you told Mr. Humphrey you'd recover the pendant for him. Oh, really, Miss Fairfax? Yes, really. How do you know who stole it? And if you did know, what good would it do you? The thief wouldn't be fool enough to leave it lying around when you could pick it up. That's a logical deduction, Miss Fairfax. Well, then I don't see why... Here we are. That, uh... That window up there opens in a Mrs. Humphrey's bedroom, doesn't it? Yes. Dan, look. Hi, George. Two footprints, plainly embedded in the soft earth beneath the window. And they're deep enough to have been made by a man jumping from the window above. Yes, indeed they are. Miss Fairfax, look. They're in that leaf that's lying in the right heel mark. Well, what is it? Oh, my mistake. The moment I thought the reflection of the sunlight on the water cupped in the leaf was Mrs. Humphrey's diamond pendant. Dan Danfield, you're stalling. You didn't expect to find these footprints. You didn't believe that there'd been a burglar in Mrs. Humphrey's bedroom at all. Miss Fairfax. You're not fooling me. When Mr. Humphrey told you the burglar had jumped in the window, you expected to prove he was lying because you didn't think you'd find any footprints. Didn't you? Miss Fairfax. Oh, stop calling me Miss Fairfax and admit the truth. For once, you're completely wrong. Miss Fairfax, I'm never wrong. It's high time you realized that. Oh. Well then, just how are you going to explain these footprints? You come with me. I'll show you not only the pair of shoes that made those footprints, but the man who owns them. Danfield and Miss Fairfax, come in, come in. Have you apprehended the criminal? Yes, as a matter of fact, we have. It was quite simple, wasn't it, Miss Fairfax? Oh, nothing to it. Of course, I don't know who the criminal is yet. Miss Fairfax, please. I'll do the talking if you don't mind. Well, you asked me a question. Oh, I say, Danfield, is that a pair of shoes you're carrying? Indeed it is, Mr. Humphrey. Does anyone here recognize them? Well, they're suddenly not mine. Naturally, they're not Edna. They're men's shoes. What did you get to things, Danfield? They look like a pair of workmen's boots. I believe they are, Mr. Humphrey. Do you recognize them, Miss Humphrey? I? Well, why should I recognize them? Of course not. I've never seen them before in my life. Oh, pardon me, Miss Humphrey, but you sound altogether too definite. I think you've seen these shoes before, and on many occasions. They belong to your gardener friend, Mr. Raymond Arrow. Oh! Sure. If God be with me, where shoes, the team? Most anyone would wear shoes, my friend, when he plans to jump to the ground from an upstairs window. I knew it. It was that gardener who stole my pendant. It wasn't, it couldn't have been. Oh, this God-willing man with a cornish luxury thief. Mushery, at least, I can't... Oh, Andre, but pity's sake, be still. Ray didn't steal the pendant, and this Danfield person or anyone else can't prove that he did. Dan, are you going to let her talk to you like that? Miss Fairfax, please. I'm sorry, Miss Humphrey, the shoes belong to Mr. Arrow by his own admission. I don't believe it. The design on the rubber heels is identical to the designs on the heels of the imprints beneath your mother's window. Well, there could be a hundred pairs of shoes of the same design. The mud which Mr. Arrow scraped from the shoes is the same in texture as that near the imprint. Right, Miss Fairfax? I guess so. Never guess, Miss Fairfax. Be specific. Why should I? You don't pay any attention to it. Just a moment. Danfield, there's something amiss here. For some reason or other, you're stalling with a lot of nonsensical stalling. Mr. Arrow, Mr. Humphrey. Yes, stalling. If Arrow is guilty, why haven't you... Oh! What's the matter? Good heavens. What is wrong? What's the window? Who's at the window? He's there. I saw him. He had a gun. What are you talking about? Who has a gun? I saw him. Go after him. It's won't be necessary to go after Mrs. Humphrey. Come in, Mr. Arrow. Oh, Ray. Hello, darling. Sorry I had to point your mother, so. Arrow, was that you outside the window? Yes, sir, it was. What's the meaning of this? Dr. Danfield, arrest that burglar. I haven't the authority to arrest him, even though he were the thief, Mrs. Humphrey. What do you mean, even though he were the thief? He is the thief. You've already proved it. Oh, darling, I knew you didn't do it. Danfield, will you be good enough to explain what this is all about? If given the opportunity, I'll be glad to, Mr. Humphrey. There's no need for any further. Please tell Edna. Where? I think, Mrs. Humphrey, your husband's suggestion is a good one. The more you talk, the worse you make it for yourself. Why, the idea... Ever since your husband told me of the man jumping from your bedroom window, Mrs. Humphrey, I wondered why you didn't scream when you saw it happen. Why, I didn't scream. Yes, you see, there's not one woman in a million who would lie in a bed and watch a strange man prowl about a room and then see him jump from her window without raising her voice by a scream. Oh, nonsense. You'd rather give yourself away, Mrs. Humphrey, when you glimpsed Mr. Arrow's face outside the window a moment ago. Well, I... Of course, the reason you didn't scream last night when the prowler was in your room is because you knew his identity and knew why he was there. The idea... Edna, is this true? Who was this man? I am Insul. I shall at once leave. You'll stay right here until we get through with you. Keep your hands off me, corn-gathering man. Take it easy, Mr. Why don't you challenge him to a duel, Frenchie? Oh, it was Andre who was in Mother's room. Mother and Andre conspired to make it appear as though Ray were a thief. I wouldn't marry him. Oh, Mother, how could you? Edna, is this true? Speak up. Yes. Yes, it's true. I didn't want her to marry Ray. I wanted her to marry Andre because he had a title and... And a pendant? Where is it? It's in my room. I... I hid it there, so everyone would think that Ray had stolen it. But deeply, I am Insul. One more minute longer, I will not stay here. I count Andre... Frenchie, with apologies to the good neighbor policy, here's a little memento that you can take back overseas with you. Oh! We'll return for the conclusion of danger Dr. Danfield in a moment, but first, now for the conclusion of danger Dr. Danfield. The details of how this matter was concluded are, of course, unimportant. It is, however, significant that those involved in the conspiracy to jeopardize the reputation of young Mr. Errol were... were... Well, Miss Fairfax? Don't your lecture classes ever get bored, Dr. Danfield? Bored? My lecture classes? Come, Miss Fairfax, whatever, put that idea into your mind. Because you're always feeding them this double talk about criminal potentialities and the workings of the criminal mind. Well, Miss Fairfax? Why don't you make it a little spicy? Tell them about how Hazel and Ray eloped the next day, and the old lady finally broke down and admitted that she didn't want a title anyway. But, Miss Fairfax... Tell them when Ray found out that Frenchie had swiped his shoes and what he'd used them for, he socked the guy again, which pleased everybody. Miss Fairfax, it seems to me that... And then tell them how you knew that the old lady was lying, when she gave out with that story about a burglar jumping out of her window. She wasn't lying. Count Devillier did actually jump from the window so that we'd find his footprints. Well, I know that, but it seems to me... There was merely a discrepancy in Mrs. Humphrey's story, which aroused my suspicions. You see, she told her husband that she lay awake until it stopped raining completely. Then she heard a man's breathing, and then she saw him jump from the window. Well? Miss Fairfax, you yourself saw the raindrops in the leaf that we found in the footprints. The sun shone on them, which made me think for a moment we'd found the lost diamonds. For gosh's sake. Now, do you understand, Miss Fairfax? Well, sure. If the burglar had jumped from the window after it had stopped raining, there wouldn't be any raindrops in the leaf, would there? Quite right, Miss Fairfax. Now, shall we continue? Oh, let's not. Let's not? Then, aren't you ever going to learn to be human? Human? Hmm. Miss Fairfax. Rusty, would you lift your chin just a little bit higher? Yes, yes, that's fine. Now. Wow. How human can a guy get? Miss Fairfax, I see what you mean.