 Craft presents the Great Gildersleeve They will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night present each week at this time Harold Terry is the Great Gildersleeve written by Leonard L And now let's visit our friend the Great Gildersleeve who has just returned home after a busy day at the office To find that some new neighbors are moving into the vacant house next door Ah good afternoon Marjorie hello birdie Well, I see the house next door has been rented at last. Have you any idea who the people are my dear? No Uncle Mort, but is that ghastly furniture as any indication their name is Frankenstein Marjorie you mustn't judge the people by that purple horsehair sofa or the brass bed or that stuffed moose head You have an awful mean look at his eye that moose hand Must have gotten it from our new neighbor. The family resemblance. They're all right Marjorie, I'm sure they're nice people you wait and see. Oh, they have a boy a little older than Leroy, haven't they? Uh-huh, and a girl about 17 or 18 who talks faster than Walter Winchell. Oh dear And they also got a awful uppity cook named Snow Drop Jefferson Who has informed me over the back says that she's the soul owner of five-pound rubber gloves And birdie you'll have to cultivate her acquaintance our cultivator where the whole she keeps snooting me No birdie, don't you want to start off by planting your best foot forward? Oh, I does Mr. Gillesleaf believe me and when I get through planting it where it'll do the most good nothing will ever grow there no more Now birdie I won't have you starting a feud with the neighbors a good neighbor is just like a cousin on the police force They both come in handy in the pinch Oh Look, they're unpacking their boxes outside and all the paper and trash is blowing over on our lawn Oh, so what my dear they're all finished and the movers are leaving They'll probably come over and clean it up and suppose they don't You know I'll come out there at times when you surprise me Live and let live my dear. That's my motto. By and all years. I've lived in Wispel Vista. I always got along well with my neighbors Oh Those movers they backed into our driveway to turn around so what it crushed my azalea canadensis and now they're backing into my Ligistram I bought her. Oh, there goes my as cool as master's brochure As cool as master wasn't for heaven's sakes. What's that? It's horse chestnuts Help me get the window up. I'll tell those people late uncle are driving away. Well, that's lucky for them Oh, look that heavy heavy truck has broken the concrete in our driveway Of all the people here comes the girl from next door probably coming over to apologize for the mess they made Well, that's different. It's a mighty good thing, too I'll take care of this myself my dear How do you do a young lady? Oh, I'm the girl who just moved in next door and my name is Dorothy adab snow knee Nobody ever calls me Dorothy and I kind of that sounds the corny and everybody calls me daddy So I guess I can see why So your daddy are you? Oh, no, I'm not daddy I'm daddy the mama sometimes says she fails to see the difference and we're such an uproar that we can't find a thing So would you please let us have a can of tuna fish and some sliced pineapple and two cups of sugar? Wouldn't you like a couple of inner tubes, too? Holding your own juice is getting warm. Well, hello Leroy. I'm looking for the morning paper all over the world Hundreds of reporters risk their lives to get the news and thousands of workers stay up all night long to print it And our delivery boy insists on hiding the paper in the bushes Leroy you mustn't speak of our neighbor that way I mean Yes, he seems to have a nose for our news Well, I'll just drop in on the Dobson's and explain the situation. Oh, I hope that dog hasn't chewed up Superman Like you did yesterday the same suits the same shirt and the same tie isn't awful monotonous I just died if I had to wear the same dress every day. Wouldn't you if yes, I mean, I don't wear dresses I dropped over to tell you that your dog is taking the morning paper Oh, how silly taking the morning paper indeed. Why even if he could really couldn't afford it if I Miss Dobson, please let me finish. He's taking the morning paper off our lawn. It's all a paper Oh, so that's it and daddy thought it was a free sample Who's a blister sister Go in the dining room and tell daddy that paper belongs to the man next door and he's here And he wants it back. So bring it right out. If there's any egg on it be sure and wipe it off Okay, but I ain't seen it yet. How do you have to come around? Well Tuffy'll be right back mr. Oh Incidentally, what do you think of the big news in the paper this morning? Isn't it thrilling or haven't you read it yet? Oh, of course you haven't well You certainly have a surprise in store because you know what happened. Yeah, oh, excuse me. I didn't know you're gonna stop You didn't put your hand out No, what happened Paper so it is. Thank you Tuffy. You're welcome stuffy We'll in the breakfast. I'm hungry enough to eat off the tablecloth. You got your paper. Okay, uncle. Oh, sure No trouble at all. You don't have to you know how to handle these neighbors. It's alright Leroy. That's all yeah Now to read the big news. She was telling me about Well, look at this Roosevelt and Churchill meet in mid-ocean what again The Marjorie birdie come here and listen to this Washington DC August the 4th the August Never mind go back. It's all a mistake That kid next door slipped me a seven months old paper Channel this fence she's gonna be out here here birdie. What are you muttering about is that cook next door? She's flirting with a face full of skillet And i'm gonna knock her block off and off her to look good Now birdie remember our good neighbor policy. Oh, hello Leroy Yeah, wait a minute young man come back here. You're all must up. Huck in your shirt tail Why not it's been torn off Leroy have you been fighting? Well, not exactly that kid next door took a couple of pokes at me and then I took a few swings at him What happened? I missed But he didn't What were you two fighting about Leroy? Oh, it was something he called you uncle morse. Oh, you shouldn't have fought over that I haven't the faintest concern what that terp says about me. What did he say? He said you were a big fat stuffed shirt. Oh, he did and what did you say? I said you didn't have to stuff your shirts Well, I still don't think that's enough reason to start fighting leroy. Oh, I forgot to tell you He was trying to rub my nose in the dirt at the same time And look at how you skinned your knuckles. I'm gonna get the eye down. Oh, no, I'll be all right Leroy you failed to clench your fist properly my boy Remind me sometime and I'll show you the correct procedure Gee, uncle you used to be a fighter is well not professionally But at college I was considered quite a slugger In fact, they call me big slug for short However, I don't think you should carry on a feud with a boy next door I'm sure this can be cleared up if we go over there and all shake hands like little men Not me. I'm not gonna shake hands with that rat Leroy, you mustn't call him a rat if you only try to understand What was that if who threw that baseball? It was Tuffy. Look, this was his ball. You're Tuffy? Why that little rat? I'm gonna call his mother right now and tell her about this I'd like to lay my hand on that little hoodlum and you know where and how Hello, is this mrs. Dobson? Madam your son Tuffy just threw his baseball through my window Yes, I'm sure it's his baseball What's that? What? Hello? She hung up What did she say, uncle? She said if I was sure it was her little boy's ball, I'd better return it at once or she'd call the police Come on Leroy. Where you going, uncle? Outside to return this ball Are you going over there, uncle? No, Leroy. I'm gonna return it from here. You just watch this It's headed for the telephone pole Look, it's coming back There goes another one of our windows The next door was here Uh, Mr. Dobson? What did he want? He said he wants to take you apart and see what makes you think you is as tough as you think you is Well, I don't understand. I never said anything to him Well, I guess I'd better be getting to bed Yeah, just a second, Leroy. Now, Bertie, what's it all about? You mean you didn't challenge Mr. Dobson to a fisticuffs breaker? I've never even set eyes on the chap Well, somebody told him something most disagreeable It's swayed past my bedtime, folks Yeah, wait a minute, Leroy. Did you say anything to anyone next door that might have started this? Oh, no. Only I told that Tuffy that he'd better not monkey with me anymore Or you'd show his father what a big slug you are Yes. I'm not afraid of him Well, Leroy, how can you talk that away? That Mr. Dobson's twice as big as your uncle and only half as fast Yes, he-what? He is? Oh, Leroy, what are you doing to me? Well, that man's as tough as a 30-cent stake Oh, he's not so tough Leroy, you better go to bed. Let's all go to bed Okay, I'm good night Oh, good lord. What are you going to do? Now, don't worry, Marjorie. I'm sure we can settle the matter pieceably However, just to be on the safe side tomorrow I better find some good gymnasium where I can brush up on my boxing before brother Dobson mops up on me Be sure and let me know when you're tangled with Mr. Dobson. I wouldn't miss Well, I would We'll hear from the great gilder sleeve again in just a moment But first ever stop to think of the progress made in the last few years Nowadays we have planes that fly 400 miles an hour automobiles that are marvels of speed and comfort Radios that are static free Yes, and there have been plenty of improvements in food making too And one of the outstanding examples is parquet margarine the delicious bread for bread made by craft Why people who remember the margarines of a few years back are amazed when they discover how deliciously good parquet margarine is You see parquet is not an ordinary margarine. It's one of craft spine foods Outstanding for its delicate satisfying flavor You only have to taste parquet margarine once spread on bread or toaster rolls to find out how deliciously different it really is Another thing parquet margarine is a wholesome nourishing food one of the best energy foods you can serve What's more every pound contains 9 000 units of important vitamin a So get acquainted with this thrifty nutritious food order a pound or two of delicious parquet margarine tomorrow Just ask for parquet parky parquet margarine made by craft After a restless night the great gilder sleeve has taken his problem to philadelphia phil's physical culture institute We find him dressed in gym tugs ready for his first lesson from phil himself Well, mr. So they did find a peri shorts big enough for you after all Yes, these shorts are a little tight. I only got them on by a great stretch of the imagination Okay, uh, come over here. Mr. Uh, just call me throckmorton. I want to keep it a secret Of course, if my name was throckmorton, I'd want to keep it a secret too No, no, I want to keep my visits here a secret I'm having a little trouble with one of my neighbors and I may have to slap him a few times to bring him to his senses I know how it is. Now, what experience have you had as a fighter? Oh very little except what I picked up in college and at the ymca Well, you look as if the only thing you picked up at them places is yourself. Yes Exactly, that's why I came here. I need to improve my wind if I'm going to fight Well, the best way to improve your wind is by doing a lot of running. Mr. If I could run I wouldn't need to fight Well, the first thing we got to do is something about that sack of potatoes you're lugging around. What's sack of potatoes? Oh Oh You mean this one Yeah, well now, I suppose we stop chewing the fat and start taking it off We'll begin with some vending exercises vending exercises, but aren't you going to teach me how to punch? No, we'll get to the punch after we take care of the punch All right now feet together arms overhead and bend and touch the floor Oh No, I was locked more lower. Come on do it again this time. I'll make it easier feet together now bend and touch your ass No, no, you still haven't got the idea. I've got the idea. The only thing is I've got much equipment Well feet together arms overhead now bend That's it way down. I'll bet you haven't seen your knees in 10 years And oh, I get well by George. What is it? I've got dimples. Excuse me champ. If champ who me? Oh, I'm sorry. You must have made a mistake I'm not one of the uh, maybe not, but yeah my card. Oh, thanks if everything from heavy weights to dog race Oh, and you got a terrific build for the job build and showmanship too You know, I've been watching you Hey the crowds will love you. Oh, I can't quite picture myself as a champion fighter Fighter who said anything about being a fighter. You're gonna be a wrestler if a wrestler Well, sure with your figure in a way you grunt and roll your eyes and with a full beard on your face Boy, you'll be terrific Uh, hey, can you grown can I oh my goodness Oh Is that tuppy next door murder that march all day long birdie No, so when he gets out of bed, he sits down beat his drums for a while All right, George won't be long now before I go over there and beat his drum for him I can't understand why you have so much patience There are two kinds of patience my dear and it takes a lot of one kind to keep him being the other Someday he's going to hit the right note and then they'll take that horn away from them Damn it. Yeah, they can't they just taste him out in the yard Look, I wish he was my kid for an hour a few quick tricks with my hand and he wouldn't trumpet anymore Oh, now he's right under our window There's only one thing left for me to do marjorie you remember where I put that old bb gun of lyroys Oh, no, uncle lord, you mustn't shoot him. Why someone might be mean enough to arrest you I hadn't thought of shooting him marjorie. I was gonna offer the gun to him as a bribe However, your suggestion does sound better Please uncle lord forget about the gun. Yeah, all right. I've got another idea the next time he starts playing I'm going Oh, I'm going don't worry. I'll be right back Uh-oh your uncle. He's in an unmusical mood Hope uncle hasn't done anything reckless. Let's just hope he ain't done anything. They can trace back to him Uh-oh here he comes Oh birdie. I'm afraid. Why he's got such a pleased expression on his face Well, that's the last of that folks. I fixed it all up. Oh, well, uh What did you do uncle just use my brains my dear? I gave tuffy a five dollar bill and he promised he wouldn't play that trumpet again Pretty smart of me, huh? What's that? Oh my goodness. He's got a saxophone too Okay, truckie. We can stop now. Oh, thanks. It's how am I doing phil? Well, you've become pretty good with the punching bag Now, uh, seeing as how this is your tenth and last lesson I'm gonna put you in the ring against a professional fighter. Oh, well bring him on the bigger they fall the harder I am Well, you know what I mean, anyway Well, I want to warn you this guy's supposed to be good. That's all right. I feel pretty good myself Which one is he? Uh, the big guy there shadow boxing in the ring. Yeah. Oh, yes He's a pretty big shadow doesn't he? Now come on over to the ring and No, truckie. No, you're going toward the dressing room. Yes, I thought I'd save you the trouble of carrying me in there later Now don't talk that way. You can take this guy. Yes, I can take him and I can leave him alone too You kidding? I am dead on the level. Oh my goodness dead on the level Come on get the ring truckie. Hey barrel house. Yeah, what is it phil? I want you two boys to go three or four rounds together. Uh shake hands with battling truckie. Hi Hi barrel house All right boys now. I'll keep time and you get in there and put up a real fight and remember No, waltz. Sure sure and no waltz. Uh, excuse me as a little rumber permissible No All right Get going boys Truckie and trade punches. Oh, I'm trying to trade whoop But he doesn't want to do Yeah Okay now back back. I can't is the ropes are in my way Yeah with your left again. That's it keep dabbing It's it now bring up that right right like this Oh my goodness truckie you shouldn't have done that you've knocked them out. I did Rockport and dad ain't playing the game Oh poor barrel house quick get me a glass of water if get who I'm thirsty Yeah, take it easy. Take it easy barrel house. I'll help you into the dressing room I'll take care of them. You get your shower And you can consider this knockout your diploma and fusialism. Oh, oh you certainly did well in your graduation exercises Thank you, professor. I'll get going now. It's so long barrel house next time. Don't try to chin yourself on my glove I just can't wait like at home and do the same to that next door neighbor of mine Oh How you feeling barrel house? Oh terrible. I'm an awful plane that big walrus stepped all over my tenderous corn Honest bill. It was all I could do to restrain myself from hitting him Do I know that breath well, he kept picking on me today So finally I just got good mad so I I hold off and I let him have it. Well good for you Yeah, I thought I'm clear from the corner into his backyard and up on the screen for You never see him along the milk bottle Then his father came home and pulled me off of him. Oh, he did did he yeah He's looking for you long. Oh, he is. Well, I'm looking for him. Come on. We're going visiting This is gonna be peachy fun. You mean you're going into coffee house. Yes, sir Right now, I feel as if I could lick twice my weight in dobson's Well, I give that big tub of thumping Well, I suppose you came to apologize for what he really did before Chubby, well, it's a good thing you did because papa's so mad He's silent You go tell your papa that mr. Gilda's leave is here from next door and wants to see him at once Very real though. I warn you that's not the tone of voice you take with papa on account of people's witness Oh All right, I'll tell him oh Leeroy, could I trouble you to hold my coat for a few moments? I'm gonna be a pleasure. There you are Thank you, my boy as soon as I roll up my sleeves here Uh, I'm already now. Just let that big somebody out here says he wants to see mr. Dobson. Oh my goodness It's philadelphia. Oh, this is gonna be one of my bad The great yellow slave will be with us again in a few minutes meantime I've noticed that some women have a knack for being resourceful They're always first with new recipes always turning up clever ways to economize and please their families too These resourceful ladies are right in their element these days because now more than ever It's smart to be wisely thrifty And here's the discovery a lot of them are making That park a margarine is a wholesome spread for bread that tastes mighty good Yet cost very little. Yes, they found that serving park a margarine makes a hit with the family Because it's so downright delicious spread on bread or toaster rolls They found that park a margarine is a real flavor shortening for baking that it adds delicate extra flavor to pan fried foods Yes, park a margarine is one spread for bread that's so thrifty you can use all you want in cooking too Now using park a margarine as a wise economy because it's such a nutritious wholesome food Park a helps provide happen energy because it's one of the best energy food you can serve And it's a reliable year-round food source of important vitamin a So why not buy a pound or two of delicious park a margarine tomorrow? Remember it's park a par k a y park a margarine made by craft They took all those boxing lessons for nothing Oh, it wasn't all together a waste leeway. They'll come in handy next Thursday evening Oh, what are you doing then? I'm going to visit on rudy valley program here. They've matched me with battling john barrymore. Good night Original music heard on this program was composed and conducted by william randall This is jim vanham speaking for the craft cheese company and inviting you to be with us again next week at the same time For the further adventures of the great gilder slave. This program has come to you from hollywood This is the national broadcasting company