 Like with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Cy Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J Carol Nash, with Alan Kerr, he promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventures. So now, let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Basko in... Mamma Mia. Remember how I'm right to you two weeks ago that I went to the beach with my class and a girl, Shirley? She was such a nice girl. I'm going to remember, funny thing that happened before I'm going to pick her up. I'm going to call her up and I'm going to tell her I'm coming right over and Shirley's going to say, wait for half hour. I say, why so long? And she's going to say, I've got to put on on my face. I'm going to say, your face? Where are you keeping it? She's going to tell me, don't be silly, Luigi. I'm making up. It's a funny thing with this girl, Mamma Mia. I'm going to never have a fight with her and all that. She's are making up. Then I'm going to find out this makeup is American expression. It's to mean that things that a girl has to put on to look beautiful. They've got to dye for the hair, polish for the nails, rouge for the cheeks, powder for the face and a lipstick for the lips. Mamma Mia, I'm going to think even if a little monkey has to put on all this, he's going to look beautiful at all. I'm thinking today how I'm going to like to go out with Shirley again. Ah, but what's the use of thinking? I'm not going to get the nerve to call her. Well, it's time for my night school to class anyway, so I'm going to write to you later again. America, I love you. You like a papa to me. From ocean to ocean. Quiet, please. Please. Now I'll call the roll. Mr. Basko? Present. Mr. Howe? Present. Mr. Stop. I give up. Please, Mr. Schultz. Don't answer until I call your name. Now, our lessons for today is geography, taking up the physical aspects of the earth, including various climatic zones. When are you going to call my name? All right. Mr. Schultz? Now I wouldn't answer. I'm temperamental. Mr. Schultz, what makes you so exuberant today? The government should send me $40. Oh, a tax refund? Who knows when they give I pay? Class, please. Now, Mr. Howe, as our first geography question is, what do we call the imaginary belt that runs around the center of the earth? I don't know. Mr. Basko? I don't know. Mr. Rosen? I don't know. Mr. Schultz? Don't ask me. I'm not Schmieler. Schultz, you're not helping one bit. Now, think, class. Think of a great big mess. Now, what name do we give to this thing that goes around the middle? I know, teacher. Well, good for you, Mr. Schultz. What is it? A girdle. No, no, no. It's the equator. Believe me, the way the world is falling apart today could use our girdle. I just told you what it is. Now, the name of this imaginary line that goes around the earth is called Mr. Basko? Oh, is it called Mr. Basko? No, Mr. Basko. During the class, you've been staring out the window. What have you been thinking of? A girdle. I bet you, Luigi, is in love with the teacher. Who, ha? Who, ha, who, who? Luigi loves Mr. Basko. Luigi loves Mr. Basko. Luigi loves Mr. Basko. Yes, please, please stop at this minute. I'm just falling. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'ma make you nervous. I am not nervous. Now, that's our lesson. The equator is a girdle and it's called Mr. Basko. I mean, Mr. Basko is bounded by... Saved by the bell. Class dismissed. And Mr. Schultz, you may remain here with me. I'm too old. Give Luigi a... Good night. What a class. Let me look at myself. This new lipstick does do something for me. Luigi, wait for me. Oh, listen to me. I'm breathing like an old accordion, but got one squeeze left in the back. Can I, Schultz? Luigi, I gotta apologize for the way I was acting in class. I was acting a foolish of myself, Schultz. And instead of thinking about the geography, my mind was on little birds that flying around together. The squirrels all are playing a witch each other, and the boys and the girls are holding a hand. Oh, Luigi, you're really... Schultz, Schultz, don't dissonance the summer weather meaning nothing to you. Sure, but when I defrost my eyeballs... What's the matter with you today, Luigi? You're acting so silly. Well, Schultz, I remember two weeks ago how you got me a date with a girl named Shirley Smith. Yeah. I wasn't thinking I would like to go out with her again, but how many got the nerve? Ah, Luigi, don't be such a stupid cop. I just follow the American way. You go to the phone booth, you call her up, you say, Shirley, how's it going out? Tonight she says, OK, you hang up, then you stick your finger into the slap and see if your nickel comes back. Schultz, do you think if I'm going to call her up and she's going to go? Sure. This is not the day night you're taking her to the movie. But it should, sir. I'm never taking a girl into the movie. Luigi, that's the same thing like going by yourself. Only when you go with the girl, you don't look at the pictures. Yeah. But if I'm going to look at a picture, Schultz, I'm going to enjoy myself. Stop, Luigi. You're getting me all for shimmies. Luigi, please stop being such a pessimist. Take the girls to the movie. All right, Schultz, here give me courage. I'm going to call her up. Go, go. And stop looking so worried. Be like me, Luigi. Be happy. Smile. My rheumatism is killing me. Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Luigi, my friend. I like the way you say that. You know Pascal is a nice guy today, huh? I'm feeling good. Hey, what are you so happy about? You fell down on your head, maybe? Somebody's to die to leave you $50? No, Pascal, he's a better than that. This Saturday, I'm going to get a date with a girl. Oh, Luigi, I've been so glad to hear that. You finally going to go out with my daughter, Rosa? No, I'm not going to go out with a girl. What do you think of my daughter, Rosa? Don't answer that. Luigi, why you not go out with Rosa? She's a too fat. Fat to fat to fat. Every time we talk about a Rosa, that's all you're going to say. That's all I'm going to say. You want to go out with a girl that's skinny like a toothed peck. You go out with a Rosa, you got a nice armful. I'm going out with a Rosa, I got a roomful. How do you know you're so Pasquale? Saturday night, Luigi's going out to the movies. You going to take this girl to the movies? Ooh, that's to show how big a greenhorn you are. What's so wrong with that? Everything. So you go to the movies and what's to happen? For three hours, are you girls looking at Clark Gable, are you looking at Ava Gardner? By the time you come out, you both hate each other. Luigi, don't you know it's against the law taking an American girl to the movies on a first date? That's a violation of Emily's post. Emily's a post, so what's the next? That's like a Saturday evening post. Emily's a post that's taken care of the rest of the week. One of them here is there's so much you can learn. Well, if I'm not going to go to the movies, what else am I going to do with a girl? First of the day, you've got to take her dancing. But Pasquale, you know me, I'm not going to dance. In Italy, all I'm going to dance is the Tarantella. Tarantella? Luigi, you're way behind the pines. They've got new dances in America now. A child's dance, child's dance, then there's a black bottom, that's a new twist. And then there's another one, it's just come out of a palace with a U-shape ahead. What the dance is it? Square dance. Pasquale, I'm going to know how to translate the dance. If I'm about to dance, I'm just going to stand around doing a nothing. That's right, you're what they call a wallpaper. Wall flower. Luigi, my roses, she's just like you. She's a wall flower fool? Yes. So why do wall flowers, they don't get married and have a little creeper, huh? Stop, stop, stop. I know you're Pasquale. The dancer for me is a no-pasta. I think I'm going to take a chance to call up at this girl and ask her if she's the one that got you to move. Go, call. You ain't going to call up? No. Luigi, you ain't going to call this girl yourself, if I'm a hoe. Why not, Pasquale? Well, if you call yourself a telephone company, it's a call that a person, a person, a call, that's a cost you quite as much. Besides, if the girl is alive, they want to go to a dance, and then you're stuck. Pasquale, what am I going to do? What are you going to do? What do you always do? You're out of health, it comes to Pasquale. Luigi, I'm going to call her up for you. Pasquale, do you think if you talk to her, she's got to move you with me instead of a dance? I haven't got a lot of experience with American guys. I'm going to call up and say, hello, babe, how's it about a painting in the Tower of the Red with Luigi? He's a gooder for that. He's got a head like a painter brush. I'm going to make her laugh if she doesn't do anything for you. That's the sound of finding Pasquale. Sure, now give me her name with the telephone number I'm going to call her. Here, and thank you very much, Pasquale. You're a real friend. Sure. Go take a walk. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Nothing. That's just for what I'm going to do for you, but nothing. Hello? Is this the Shirley Smith? Mrs. Smith, my friend, Luigi Basco, is asking me to call you and tell you he's no care to take you to the movies. Well, you see the picture's in a technicolor and he's a colorblind. If he's going to see that picture, yellow sky for him, it's a commando red river. But don't worry, Shirley. Luigi's got a better idea than the movies. You like it to dance? That's fine. Luigi's crazy to dance. He's like it to me to you Saturday night in front of the Ariana Ballerosa. You like her? Can he really dance? He's a whole family to dance to the show. Ever hear of Gina Kelly? That's Luigi's sister. Luigi continues in just a moment at first, romance from two points of view from a teenager's and from a pretty school mom. Romance with many a laugh fills a full hour just a little later on most of these CVS stations. First you'll meet Carlos Archer, the teenager with the world's most vivid imagination and a genius at jumping to the wrong conclusion. Later you'll have a date with our Miss Brooks, the school teacher who adds an hour for romance to the other three hours of education. Eve Arden stars as our Miss Brooks, so be sure to meet Miss Brooks and Carlos Archer later tonight on CVS. And now for the second act of Luigi Basko's Adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. So, Mamma Mia, tonight has finally come at the big night. But Squally has to tell me he's fixed everything up and I'm going to take Shirley to the movies. Mamma Mia. You should have seen how nice I'm dressed up. I'm looking at men's fashion magazine in the 20s at Shoshana Palace. And it's to say that a men's clothes should all wear the match. Well, I'm wearing a purple shirt and an orange tie. All of those socks are too much. You want a sock with a purple, you want an orange. Also, I'm going to smell good, but there wasn't enough to shave an ocean in the medicine of chess. I'm going to make my own the lotion. I'm going to take some of my clothes, some of my rubbing alcohol, some oil and winter green, glycerine and the water. Boil it in the medicine for 15 minutes. Then I'm going to pour the whole thing out of myself. Mamma Mia, I'm going to smell it just like a drug store. Anyway, I'm going to stand and look at myself in the mirror when in there's a commercial. Hello, Luigi. Oh, you're looking nice. What do I smell? What do I smell? What's the matter, sir? Luigi, was you burning rubber tires? Open up the windows, let some fresh air in. Oh, that's better. Well, Luigi, I was just talking to Shirley's mama and she tells me the girl is all excited and she's doing dancing with you tonight. Yeah, I'm all excited. Dancing? But if Pasquale is to call Shirley and tell her I'm taking her to the movies. Pasquale? Luigi, you are such a dumb cop. Don't you know Pasquale is out to mix you up with any other girl? But why? Why? Why should Pasquale help you with a molehill when he can't get rid of his mouth? I should, sir. Should, sir, look like my big day is to fall apart. I'm a no kind of dance. Luigi, smile. Don't be afraid. There's nothing too dancing. It's the same thing like wrestling. Only it's not fixed. No, no, no. Come here. Come here, close to me. I'm going to show you how. All right. Now, first, you take the girl. You hold her close to you like this. Oh, sure. She plays something. Hey, you squeeze it too hard. But that's how you hold a girl. It's so tight there. Sure. What do you think there is to dancing? Just dancing? Sure, sir. You're just a westerner. You're a timer with me. No, wait, Luigi. I just got this idea. Why don't you take a professional dancing lesson? Huh? Sure. They learn you quick. Why don't you go dance with Arthur Murray? Arthur Murray? No, thanks. I'm not a dancer with a man. What am I going to do with you, Luigi? Arthur Murray is a dancing school. Here, let me look in the picture. Yeah, I'm going to find it. Yeah, yeah, I got it. You see? Murray's dance studio. It's the magic step you can learn to dance in one lesson. Sure. So you take the teaching. For sure. Listen to this. With our beautiful young teachers holding you in their arms, gliding you across the floor, you can learn. Luigi, I just got another idea. What? You stay here. I'll go. No, no, she'll sit. Here, come with me. I'm going to go to the dance studio right now. Well, Mr. Baskill, that's a simple one, two, three step. So much for theory. Now, shall we put it into practice? Yeah. Fine. Now, you put your arm around me. Put your arm around me. Please. Maybe you got some more theory. Mr. Baskill, if you expect to do any dancing tonight, you better start now. Well, all right. Put your arm around me. Like this? No, no, not both arms. Just one. What you want? The right one. Put it around me. Well, what are you waiting for? I'm wondering what I should have put it. Right here. Now, take my other hand and come closer. Like this? It's closer. What? Close. Mama Mia, if I'm coming across, I'm going to be behind you. On the music. Now, Mr. Baskill, do as I told you. Lead me. Mr. Burton, I'm not going to move. Don't you remember what I told you? I'm not a member, but I don't think that my feet are with the listeners. It's just beginner's pride. Just move your legs. Hey, that's it. Five. Hey. Hey, look at me. I'm a bank sinner. I don't need a money on the face. While we're dancing, keep counting. One, two, three. I'm going to remember. Mr. Baskill, are you counting? Yep, I'm up to 96. Just repeat the steps. One, two, three. Why are you letting go of my hand? I got a signal for a turn. All right, now hold on to me. And turn around. That's the way. Now we dip. Back, back, back. I guess I'm a dip, but too far back. Mr. Baskill, this is no use. I'm never going to learn to dance any time of the night. Oh, not Mr. Baskill. You'll be surprised at how well you dance. Now, let's just try. I think you're nice. Too surely. By and by, I buy you ice cream or corn. Oh, gee. If there's anything I like to dance in here. Then why we just standing here watching? Before was a waltz. You know how to dance. Now, is the fax a trap? Do you still know dancing? Oh, I'm waiting for my kind of music. Excuse me. Hey, why don't you look out? Excuse me. Oh, shut up. Excuse me. That's right, Luigi. Then please, get off of my shoulder. Oh, Luigi. What a deadbeat you turned out to be. Excuse me, Shawty. I'm going to wash up a little. I'm going to be right back. My mamma is in some place. I'm going to come here and steal the car. I think I'm going to go home in an ambulance. My friend. No, Pascuali. Pascuali, what are you doing in the dance hall? Just passing by. It's a matter of what you have. It's all over your face. High as a gun. Clothes all must up. What's to happen? Just have a fight with a vacuum cleaner? No, Pascuali. I was dancing with a girl. I know what the girl is. She's a jumper under like Uncle Pietro's goat. He's back into a barbed wire fence. Oh, oh. And how she's a holler. Bid to me with a rug. You send me. Pair off with some skin of Jackson. Luigi, you was a dancer with a jettabug. This place is a full of jettabugs. If I'm another, I'm coming here with DDT. Pascuali, it's all your fault. You told Shirley I'm a pet to a dancer. Luigi, I didn't know I was going to turn out like this. I was only trying to help you. Hey, Pascuali, do you want to help with me? Then you dance with Shirley and I'm going to go home. I got a better idea, Luigi. How's it going to be if some other girl is to go over to Shirley and say, pardon me, Miss, are you dancing with my steady boy friend and my finance? Is there a house about you leaving him a goal before I change you the direction that you know? Pascuali, where am I going to get a girl who's to do that for me? I'm a lucky pup for you. I've got just a girl and she's also just happy to be passing by. I'm going to call her. Rosa! Rosa! Say hello to Luigi. Say hello to Luigi. Say hello to Luigi. Say hello to Luigi once you should do him a little favor. You go over to Luigi, he's a girl and you say... Hey Pascuali, Shirley is the gun. I'm going to walk away with another fella. Now I'm going to go home and get into a pail of hot water in the soak of my feet. Wait, Luigi, why are you running? You have a bad time. You should have a little fun. Why, you know, relax. Rosa is such a wonderful and nice dancer. She is? Sure. Rosa is so good that they name a big dancer hall after her in New York. She's called a Rosalind. Maybe after that. Sure. Go ahead, Luigi. Dance with Rosa. Enjoy. I'm going to be here even though it's a nice summer day and I should be walking in a park or with a bird. For me, it's a turn out the other way. I'm laying here in a bed with a bandage. Don't worry, I'm not to have such a big accident. It's suggested that while I was dancing a Rosa is a full enemy. There are no bones of broken. It's suggested that I must suffer from a shock. While I'm laying here and I think the thing is over and you're not something to mama Mia. I think I'm a like it. It's a jive. Who would re-buff in a bee-hop in a shed-hop. I think I think I'm going to try dancing again. He asks mama Mia every day in every way I'm getting to be more like an American. You're a lover of the son Luigi Bosco. Powered production and is written by Macbunoff and Lou Derman and directed by Macbunoff. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Bosco with Alan Redis-Busqually, Hans Conrad Esholtz, Mary Shipp is misfolding and Jody Gilbert is roses. Music is under the direction of Lynn Murray. Bob Stephenson speaking. For more laughter, for thorough enjoyment join the College Crowd in Young Love on most of the same CVS stations tomorrow night. Young Love is the story of two college students happily married who have to keep their wedded bliss a secret because of the faculty ruled against student marriages. U.S. savings bonds are safe, profitable and easy to buy. Later on they'll come in very handy when you'll need money for your children's education improvements on your house and property or just for having that nest egg for a rainy day. Buy U.S. bonds regularly. And now stay tuned for the latest Teenage Adventure of Coralous Archer which follows immediately over most of these classes. This is CVS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.