 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with ma, he's making eyes at me. Here, ladies and gentlemen, are two of the most welcome sights in the world. A fat saucy robin hopping on the lawn, first happy sign of spring, and that perfect dessert for spring. A shimmering mold of rich, radiant Jell-O. Yes, Jell-O is a gay tempting treat with brilliant flower-like colors that promise a true feast of flavor. And keep that promise in a big way. It's simply full of grand, exciting goodness that makes friends quickly and keeps them long. And when you serve anyone of Jell-O's six delicious flavors, you can be sure everybody will like it. Because Jell-O has a delightful, refreshing taste, as inviting as a fresh ripe fruit itself. So folks, enjoy this rich, striking dessert just as often as you can. Help yourself to happy meals by always asking for Jell-O. And when you buy, be sure to look for those big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O and Jell-O spells a perfect dessert. He's making eyes at me, played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, this is the beginning of spring. Tiny blades of grass are peeping through the soil. Blossoms are bursting into bloom. The harsh winds of winter have changed to soft, balmy breezes. So without further ado, we bring you a man who is still wearing his longies, Jack Benny. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking. And Don, I don't mind your kidding about my age or my dramatic ability or my work and pictures or a lot of other things. But I think that my underwear is my own business. Is there nothing sacred around here? Heaven. But Jack, spring is here. Don't you think you ought to change into your shorts? Don, this is only the first week in April. When the butterflies come out of their cocoons, I'll come out of mine. Until then, I'm taking no chances. Ah, Jack, aren't you being just a little overcautious? The winters are some mild out here. He's right, Jackson. You're the only guy in Southern California that wears long underwear. What did you say, corn fuchsia? What was that? I said you're the only guy in Southern California that wears long underwear. Oh, yeah? Did you ever see Tyrone Powers backyard on a Monday morning? Don't tell me those are antebellas. And, uh, another thing, Phil. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. And another thing, Phil, that reminds me, I wish you'd stop running around telling everybody that I wear pajamas with feet in them. Well, you do, don't you? That was one night when I forgot to take off my inner socks. Just once. Inner socks? My goodness, Jack. What's the idea of wearing two pair of socks? He bought some big shoes, cheap. Now wait a minute, fellas, wait a minute. Don started out with a beautiful poetic introduction about blades of grass and blossoms on the trees and balmy breezes, so let's stay in the mood. You're right, Jack. Spring is beautiful. I'll say it is. You know, I was out in my yard this morning and I saw the cutest little Robin. Yeah? Gee, he was sweet. Oh, I love Robin. And he just got in from the South. How do you know? He wasn't unpacked yet. Now cut it out! Heaven's to bestie. You have to make a gag out of everything. Now, isn't there any romance in this crowd at all? I was up all night if that's what you mean. I don't mean that. I'm talking about spring, birds, nature, flowers. Gee, doesn't a buttercup mean anything to you, Phil? Yeah, but don't let it get around. But no kidding, fellas, this is the season of the year when we should have joy in our hearts. We should be happy and gay. I'm happy, Mr. Benny. I know you are, Dennis. You're always happy. What a mallet his head would make. Mary, believe me, it's a real pleasure to have one person around here that's contented and glad he's working for me. That kid's going to get a raise. What are you going to do? Let him stand on a box? No, I'm not going to lend pain in the back. I'm going to give Dennis an increase in salary. I've heard that, too, Dennis. Don't go out and buy a car. Now, just a second, Phil. I don't know what you're complaining about. Remember that day you came to me looking for a job four years ago? Mr. Benny, you said, you called me Mr. Benny, then. Mr. Benny, you said, please put me to work on your program. My beer garden job is all right, but I want to improve myself. I want to get somewhere. Remember that, Phil? Yes, but I... And I said to you, cheer up, young man. I'll take you under my wing. Well, Phil, I've kept my word and you've been with me ever since. That's true, Jackson, but I still think that I'm not getting enough dough. No, listen, Phil, listen to me. Always be loyal and always be true to those who have toiled and struggled for you. It isn't the salary or money you get. It's the smile of a friend that counts you can bet. For Benny's your pal, your buddy, your friend, he won't let you down. He'll stick to the end. So if it's money you want, pal, speak up, that's all. And I'll have a new orchestra beginning next fall. Applaud! Now, Mary, you're next. Have you any complaints to make, young lady? No, Jack, it's wonderful working for you. It's heaven, it's paradise, skies are all blue. You're so sweet and charming, and you never irked, but in spite of all this, I think you're a... Now, Don! Don! Don, have you anything to complain about? No, Jack, I'm happy here working for you. There's no other thing that I would rather do. I'm glad to be able to stand up and shout that jello, so tempting it melts in your mouth. Is it easy to make, Don? Oh, tell us, pray do. Not only that, it's economical, too. Then what should I tell my dear cousin, Mo, sir? Tell him to run to his neighborhood grocer. Well, we dragged that in beautifully. And now let us hear from our own Dennis Day. Have you got a song, something mellow or gay? Oh, yes, sir, I haven't. It's really brand new. Well, go ahead, swing it. Come on, let it go. Or go! Sing, Dennis. Doesn't spring make you silly, folks. Buck Benny rides again. Well, I stand out in it, don't I? Well, you stand out in that picture about as much as an oyster in Chesapeake Bay. In other words, son, you could be left out entirely and not affect the plot, the length, the suspense, the write-ups, the audience, and you take it from there. A fine star. By the way, Jack, when will the picture be finished? Oh, we're through with it, Don. In fact, I have a little surprise for you. Buck Benny is going to have his world premiere in New York in a couple of weeks, and we're all going. Oh, my God! Yes, sir. What are we leaving, Jack? Right after next Sunday's show, we're going to do two broadcasts there. A ladle of big city gets a load of me in my 10-gallon hat. Well, Jack, that's the kind of a he-man part you've always wanted to play. So he finally made it, huh? Yes, and I don't want to brag or anything, Don, but I think I make a pretty good cowboy. Oh, Jack. What? Tell him about the trouble you had with your horse. Oh, you mean Abdul? Yeah. What a ham that animal was. He tried to steal every scene from me. Why didn't you turn him around so he wouldn't face the camera? He did, and the horse still had more personality than Jack. He did not. But you should have seen that horse, Don. He was always looking right in the camera and flashing those teeth of his. What an animal. Well, why didn't you do the same thing? Because in the first place, Phil, my teeth aren't as big as a horse's. You could have ordered them any size you wanted. That's so well, you're just making things up, Mary. Because if I have false teeth, how is it that I can crack nuts with them? You take them out and hammer. All right, Mary, all right. You can get on more subjects. We were talking about Buck Benny rides again. That's a swell title for a picture, Mr. Benny. How'd you happen to think of it? Well, you see, we used to do a series of... Dennis, didn't you ever listen to this program before you came to work on it? Didn't you? There goes my raise. Well, anyway, and you're right, Dennis. Anyway, we used to do those Western plays, and we called them Buck Benny rides again. Oh, boy, they were fun. I used to be Sheriff Buck Benny. I rootin', tootin', shootin', hootin', galootin', fig-nootin'. That was me. And I used to be your deputy, remember? Yes, sir. And I was Daisy Carson, your sweetheart. Remember how you'd always ride over to my house and visit me? Yeah. And we'd sit in a parlor and hold hands. Uh-huh. And then you'd put the lights out. Uh-huh. And then you'd show your home movies. Oh, boy, was I romantic. And then there was your pappy, Frank Carson, the town cut-up. That's me, folks. Where's my job, Daisy? And didn't we have an awful time trying to catch Cactus Face Elmer, the villain? You know, fellas, I've got a great idea. Let's put on a Buck Benny tonight and show Dennis how we used to do them. Would you like to hear another one, folks? I'm glad to hear that the horse opera is still popular. So immediately after the next number, ladies and gentlemen, we will bring you a brand new episode of Buck Benny rides again. Now, Dennis. Yes, please? You can be one of my deputies and work with Don. It's sort of a dumb stooge type. Well, gee, I don't know if I can handle it. Dennis, believe me, you'll come through. Thanks, Phil. Let's have a number and then we'll go into our sketch. Okay, Jackson, do you want us to play loud or soft? There's no choice and you know it. So just blast away. Hold it a minute. Hello? Oh, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester. Rochester, I begged and pleaded with you not to call me in the middle of a broadcast. Now, what do you want? Well, boss, I was just listening to the program and I heard you say you were going to New York a week from tonight. That's right. Do your plans embrace your ambassador to Harlem? Yes, Rochester, you're coming along, but we're going to be awfully busy in New York, so I don't know if you'll have time to go to Harlem. Let's get to New York and worry from there. All right, now, as long as you know we're going, you might as well start making preparations. First of all, tell Mr. Billingsley, our boarder, that we're going to be gone a couple of weeks so he'll have to make his own coffee in the morning. Okay. By the way, what are we going to do with that polar bear in Auschwitz? Carmichael and Trudy? I don't know. Maybe we can get them a week at the Arvium. I doubt it. Carmichael hasn't rehearsed on his bicycle in a month, and he's all butterfingers with those Indian clubs. They never get booked. I don't know about that. Trudy does a mean striptease. Striptease? Yes, he pulls the plumes out one by one. I know, but what have you got after the first show? They worked much better with me. Now, Rochester, go down in the basement and bring up my big trunk and start packing. That old thing? I don't think it'll stand another trip, boss. Oh, it'll do. I only bought it four years ago and was practically new then. That auctioneer must have lied to you. I don't want to hear another word about it, Rochester. That trunk isn't so old. It's got a bustle compartment. That's pursuant! Now, hang up, Rochester. I got a program to do. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, say, boss. What? Did you see our new pitcher yet? Yes, they ran Buck Benny for me at the studio last night. How am I in it? Very good, Rochester. You're swell. You're a big hit. I think I'll treat you to a new trunk, boss. Hold on. Wait a minute! Rochester! Let me hung up. Oh, well, if he wants to, he wants to. Bless his little heart. Play, Phil. This is the 24th episode in our western melodrama entitled Buck Benny Rides Again, or Strange Cars. The opening scene is the office of Sheriff Buck Benny in the thriving little cow town of Eastmoo, Texas. Curtain. Hello, Sheriff's office, Buck Benny speaking. Oh, hello, Red. Did I hear about did I? Oh, did I hear about did I? Plug day. What did, uh, well, did did I die die? I mean, is he dead, Red? Oh, is Dad? Did I's dad's dead? Red. How'd he happen to get shot? Oh, he thought he found a horse. Well, thanks, Red. Goodbye. What's up, Sheriff? Did I's dad's dead? I mean, did I's dad's dead? I mean, did I's father just stole his last horse? Too bad. Good riddance, Sol. We could just get rid of Frank Carson this town to be fit to live in. Now, hold on there, Deputy. That low down, no good skunk is my gal's father. Besides, he's reformed. Reformed? Why, last night, he slept in the gutter in front of the Eastmoo Biltmore. Well, that's the best hotel in town, ain't it? I remember when Frank used to sleep in front of the firehouse. They had to take the hook and ladder out the back door. Where's Deputy Day? Oh, Day? Yes, please. Hello, Deputy. You're liable to stay there. Now, look here, Day. I want you to go out and catch some crooks. We ain't got a single prisoner in this jail. With these beds, no wonder. Never mind that and hang out the vacancy sign. That always helps. And remember, Day, the next time you go out... Hmm. Do you hear that shooting buck? Yup, that's either five aces or her husband came home. But that's life, I guess. Hey, Sheriff, I hate to keep harping on this, but when are we going to catch Cactus Face Almer? We've been looking for him for three years. I don't know, Wilson. That vomit is harder to find than art in the Mighty Allen art play. But I'll get him one of these days. Well, see you later, Deputy. Where you going, Sheriff? Next door to Dead Eye's barbershop and get a haircut. Then I'm going over and propose to Daisy Cosson. Why, you've been proposing to her for over 10 years. When's she going to say yes? I don't know, but if she don't say it soon, it won't be worth it. Go on, Deputy. Hello, Diddy. Howdy, Sheriff. Did you hear about your father getting shot a few minutes ago? No. Was it fatal? Yep. Too bad. What'll it be, haircut or shave? Haircut. Put the bowl on. Let's get going. Hello, Goldie. Give me one of them manicures, will you? OK, Sheriff. Snip me your paw. There you are. Watch out from the ears, Diddy. I declare, Goldie, you're getting prettier every day. I am? Yep, but you've got a long way to go. A mighty long way. How was that, Diddy? That's a good one. Say, Buck, at the time they plugged my old man. Was he stealing a horse? Yes, he was, Diddy. Bad habit. Sure you don't want a shave now? No, not today. There's a long hair growing out of your ear, Sheriff. Should I pull it out? Sure, go ahead. Now hold steady. I'm holding. Here we go. That got it. Well, I guess I'll run over to Daisy's now. What do I owe you for that manicure, Goldie? 15 cents, and that's final. 15 cents? Well, all the other boys only pay a dime. What's the extra nickel for? You're the only guy in town with 10 fingers. That's right. There is a lot of shooting going on here. Well, so long, Diddy. I'm going over and see Daisy. So long. Get him up there. Well, here's the Carson house now. Steady, partner. Well, I'm going. Hope Daisy likes my haircut. Dark and bull-legged? Well, Gal, you don't exactly have to detour when you come to a fire hydrant yourself. I just came from the barbershop, Daisy. What do you think of my haircut? I can't tell with that beanie you're wearing. That's the haircut. Oh. Well, Daisy, I suppose you know what I came here for. I've been a courtier now for over 10 years. You meant everything to me, and you still do. Now, what do you say, Gal? Will you marry me? Yes. Now, wait a minute. No use rushing into this like a couple of school kids. Look, I was only kidding. I told you before, I can't never marry you as long as Papi is alive. I got to stay home and take care of him. Well, don't you care for me? Yes, but I care mere for him. Same old story. Where's your Papi now? Up there in the martinis, and he's diving for olives. Doggone him. You know Daisy, if you're an old man, don't give up drinking. He's going to start seeing things. Stop trying to trap him. No fooling. Widebuck, you know that big empty closet that we got upstairs in the attic with nothing hanging on the wall? Yes. That's his trophy room. Well, I think I better have a talk with Frank and see if I can straighten them out. You're downstairs now. Then I'm going to take them to Carson. I'm disgusted with you. Look at them, Daisy. Look at them standing there with a jug in each hand. If I take one away, you'll fall over. I'll say, well, now you go back upstairs, Frank. Get some sleep. It'll do you good. Daisy, come on, boys. Boys? Don't see anyone? Well, Daisy, now that we're alone again, how about a kiss? Come on. Pucker up, gal. Pucker, Daisy. We got company. Come in. What's the trouble, boys? Sheriff, we got bad news for you. Captain Space Elmer's back in town. He's just robbed the First National Bank. He did? Yup. He got $8,000 in my gun. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go after him. We'd ever find... That's right. That vomit always gets away. You better talk. I wish I could find him. I wish I knew where his hideout was. Can't anyone help me? Maybe you can help me. Do you know where Captain Space Elmer is hiding? Yes. Where? Ladies and gentlemen, will not be continued next week. If you want to know the ending of this little play, eat a Welsh rarebit, a dish of chocolate ice cream, four dill pickles, doze off and go to town. Play field. A prize winner of a recipe that's sure to prove a real praise winner every time you serve it. It's Jell-O's well-new dessert, cherry pie glazé. A rich colorful combination of bright red cherry Jell-O and ripe juicy cherries with a gay beguiling flavor that will make everybody pass their plates for more. All you have to do is just make up a package of cherry Jell-O and fold in two and one-half cups of canned red cherries which have been drained and sweetened. Then after you've poured it into a cold baked pie shell, and let it chill until firm, serve it up plain or with whipped cream. And take it from me, you'll have a grand treat that will win smiles and cheers from the whole family. So I plan to have this tempting dessert for tomorrow night's dinner. Cherry pie glazé. A striking blend of delicious red cherries and rich crimson cherry Jell-O. Last number of the 27th program in the current Jell-O series. And we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. And Dennis, that's the way we used to do Buck Benny. Did you like it? Yes, but I'd like to know where Cactus Face is. You're the only one that cares. Good night, folks. J-E-L-L-O. And here's more fun and enjoyment for you. June and every Tuesday night for another swell half hour of Jell-O Entertainment, the famous Aldrich family. See your local paper or a movie and radio guide for time and station. This is the National Broadcasting Company.