 But deep down, I was free though in my mind and my soul that I knew that that this is just another step of the pain that I needed to overcome. But it was just when I went home and I walked in my house, I felt like this looming dark clouds was on top of my house. Like I just felt that dark, dark energy. And I looked at my son, he was young at the time and I said, there's no way I'm going to stay and be miserable and continue to, you know, I just literally just left the house and my husband went into the room, slammed the door and I just went in my car and I buckled my kid in the car and then I finally saw the steering wheel in my car and I sat there and I stared at the steering wheel. And I don't know why but at that moment I said, Jesus take the wheel. I just literally verbalized that and I said, and I cried so hard. I put my head down on that steering wheel where I'm just like it's that deep cry, you know.