 here we go oh god help me all right so this whole quarantine staying at home thing has actually been two-fold you know we are very honest right it's been amazing especially as working parents to spend some quality time with our kids but again it is 24-hour parenting which is usually what we you normally do but your kids go to school we go to work we have a little bit more me time so it definitely has been challenging at times well I know it's been difficult for you to I mean juggling everything from work if you have a chance to work to school work with the kids if you have kids to try to make ends meet and trying to you know stay safe and at the same time stay sane so we love to hear how you're dealing with it whether you have kids or not please leave those comments in the comments below so obviously having the kids home for 24-7 we have faced some parenting dilemmas and notice that you guys have lots of questions about our parenting so what a better time to actually dive into those questions and try to answer them as best as we possibly can and some of the parenting stuff has come up since coronavirus because some of your questions came from before coronavirus and so we've learned a lot about ourselves and our kids and we're definitely about each other we're definitely not perfect no here we go here we go have I always wanted to be a mother absolutely as long as I can remember and I think I have my first memories at like four I'm not kidding I loved baby dolls and what's crazy is that I see the same thing with my daughter Araya Araya has this drawer it's kind of creepy when you open it because you see like all these faces but she loves dolls as well I can remember having my first real baby and that's what the dolls recall my mom gave it to my sister and I for Christmas I absolutely loved that thing I still they I still think they make real babies but it had this special smell to it it smelled really sweet and the reason why they called it no not so at a very young age I learned to hold the baby's head upright and my favorite thing about the real baby is that they had this bottle I don't know how they did it but it was this bottle that you would feed obviously the baby and it had it looked like it had real milk in it it would have the bubbles in it and when you would tilt it over the milk would just disappear so I felt like I was somebody I had a crib I had the stroller I had the diapers I had the changing clothes so yes I have always wanted to be a mom I wanted to have four kids but the reality of parenting having kids a little bit later we are done at two doing a barbecue doing a barbecue that doesn't surprise me about all we just said really why would have you always wanted to be a father absolutely but I didn't have babies and strollers I was always around kids so my parents even though my family is very small it's just me my mom my dad and my grandparents and my brother so just six of us really I grew up with counting myself I was always around kids anytime one of my dad's employees at the grocery store or maybe cousin came to town from outside of the state and they had a baby my parents made sure from a young age we held the baby and we were around the kids at two three four so we understood the different stages of child development just as a kid so you didn't look at it funny you weren't you weren't surprised if you were around a child later on in life it was you know a way to teach your children how to be around kids there were my grandma who didn't live too far from us his her neighbor came over one day with his son and I was about eight and the son was probably about two and I must have spent an hour in the yard with them just playing remember him coming out and saying to me you know one day I'll never forget this one day you're gonna be a good father and my really and my grandma was so proud of that so I always wanted to be a dad there were times I wondered if I was ever gonna be a dad cuz I was traveling so much and hadn't gotten married yet but you know when I met Tamara right away I was like oh this is the person I could have kids with and I looked forward to it thank you I will tell you this when we first started dating that you know how you have ladies out there you know you have like a checklist first of all make sure it's realistic okay mine was I wanted a family man I wanted a guy who loved children as much as I did and that was one of the first things that I noticed about Adam he was very very close to his niece Elena they loved each other so much and I saw that connection and the same thing with Alex Alex is older now obviously we've been together yes Adam's nephew Alex and I loved their connection and I was like okay this guy definitely loves family and I can see this is a good thing too because children kids are like dogs they know they know they can sniff somebody's character out and seeing kids love my husband and still to this day kids love kids love Adam and I think well kids love me I'm a kid too they can tell that I think we love children and yes Adam is a child she has three children I do I'm so happy you you own that were you scared about becoming parents no no I wasn't scared about becoming a parent because I already become a husband and I think that for me well no I'll tell you I'll tell you because of the fact that we got married a little bit later and I've been traveling the world and doing things I knew that getting married was a commitment and then I would the decision couldn't just be me saying yes I'm gonna go I would have to make a decision with my wife's life and her opinion in mind so the next step is now having kids now there's a second big variable that comes into play there so I wasn't afraid of being a parent at that point that I already kind of made the big step for me which was I was ready to be a parent I didn't know what it was gonna be a parent I did see my brother and some friends have kids and I spent a lot of time around then so I had a little bit of an inkling so I looked forward to it but I wasn't scared I was uncertain but I wasn't scared about you um for me I think you answered that perfectly maybe not scared but uncertain we had amazing parental examples in our life my sister she had Cree earlier so I got to see you know not only a sister but my twin go through that the coolest thing is is our supportive group they were very honest about what parenting looked like so when you see that ahead of time you're like oh okay but not only that we saw them get through it so I knew that if they could get through the challenges we could get through it now the one thing that I was afraid of and it's completely different when you're a woman carrying the baby I would have to say that whole like pregnancy process with the first child I mean every cramp every pain you're like oh my gosh what happened and then you think of the birthing process some people don't realize women who obviously haven't had kids before or men it's like when you are growing a baby for the first time there's lots of aches and pains your uterus is seriously like stretching and your skin is stretching and if you had morning sickness which I did with Aiden remember babe I had so much morning sickness it became a norm for Adam to just kind of like pull over and be like okay go on throw up what do you know remember one time she was she was she was craving a certain type of cinnamon roll and that's how many number time pickles for the cinnamon roll I drove to I think nine different places remember she called me about two and a half hours later because in LA you can't go to nine places in very short time frame yeah and she's like I didn't even go that far away the furthest one way was only three miles and she's like where are you and I'm like I found the damn which what no it had it tastes like the one from Costco yeah had to be like the Costco cinnamon roll but the Costco since Costco near our house then was out yeah fine one that was similar and a lot of places weren't surprising how many donut shops in Los Angeles don't make cinnamon rolls so if you own a donut shop in LA you might want to think about it and another thing because I think this is really important to talk about just for pregnancy I dealt with depression when I was 19 years old and I had this fear of having postpartum depression and the reality is is I did so I thought I had baby blues with Aiden having postpartum the second time around with the Raya I realized it was postpartum depression and that's one of the things I feel like women may confuse because postpartum depression is actually on a spectrum and when you think of postpartum initially you think oh women who want to do harm to their to their children and I knew I wasn't having that those thoughts but yes I did experience postpartum depression with both of my children I am here to say though if you do experience postpartum depression make sure you get the support you need especially from your loved ones talk to your husband about it talk to you that's what I mean like don't try to hide it talk to your husband about it talk to your friends about it and get the help you need there is nothing wrong with asking for help and also there is light at the end of the tunnel I think the next question and I want to know from both of us okay people been asking to is like what mistakes have we made well I'll tell you this from being a parent everyone says no matter how much you've been prepared no matter how much your family and friends have helped you no matter how much you've watched your brother sister parents grandparents friends parent you're always gonna make stupid mistakes and you have to be okay with that there's been times I remember thinking what am I what I do why why didn't I go this route rather than that route and you know it's like anything every kid's different and I think that you know they always say the second time around is easier that's true but sometimes because you already learned the mistakes of the first time around and you know having a boy than a girl the boy being first they're so different and there's so many things that will work with Aiden that won't work with the riot so I think my biggest mistake as a parent sometimes is not sitting down and thinking about okay this is the way we do it don't compare don't I don't compare for me it's not this is the way Aiden is that may work not work for a riot you are a perfect parent until you are one and if you watch the real you'll hear me say that and it's because I own the mistake that I made before I was a parent judging other parents and how they raised their kids because different strokes for different folks meaning every household has a different way of life in a different way of doing things I feel like as long as you are doing your best you are doing it with love and the information like you've done your research and you've experimented what works for you and your family and your child do you I'll give you example there was a time I remember I said I am never gonna have my kids sleep with me ever I was so judgmental when I say that I look back and I'm like day she knocked it out of the water like the first week like the first week because get this we were both working parents and at that time well with Aiden I was a stay-at-home mom actually was it and then Aiden got RSV out but Aiden got RSV on top of it I wanted to be around him then I started working you miss your kids Adam was gone you miss your kids when you're not there so when you come home you want to be with them and if they want to sleep with you just realize though if you start that it's probably gonna last for a while and it has been in our bed meaning he sleeps in his own bed now right but he made that choice yeah with a little just encouragement from us and it happened gradually and it happened naturally so the biggest mistake that I made was that I thought I knew all the answers before I was a parent you know it's kind of like those fans on the sidelines and they're like you suck you could do better the further away they sit the smarter they get yes when we all know dog on whale but they're full of crap that yo this person has been playing playing football for years anyways so I would say I judged that was the mistake what was the best parenting advice you received from your mom or I think I think my brother my mom my dad all kind of said the same thing which was adapt just adapt you know that's kind of my biggest regret and my biggest advice in the sense that there are times I wish I would have adapted faster for example Aiden high energy and I get I'd raise my voice sometimes be like and I realized over time I did adapt but I could have adapted faster and realized that with him you kind of have to sit him down and be like dude even up three and four years old this is the way it needs to go and I'm gonna take this away from you to for him that works taking something away with a riot she's more stubborn and she's more easily swayed in the sense I can be I can get raised my voice a little bit or I had no and she'll stop but taking something away from a riot does not work so they're totally different so the best advice to me I was given was adapt spin time any and put the phone down put the phone down try to I mean like even now I notice I'll be doing something really fast and a riot want to tell me something or Aiden want to tell me something just a second I'm like no and then you see their little like sigh like yes you just take the time because it's not gonna be an action one more advice to from one of my buddies and he said Adam my kids are now 14 and 17 and they want no time with me he goes you're only gonna have about a six to seven year window he goes take it so find that time put that phone down