 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young his father. A half hour visit with your neighbor, the Anderson, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. Now is the time of year when a strange malady falls upon the land, affecting people from every walk of life, butchers and bakers and candlestick makers, rookies and bookies, and Senator Calfalver. It's an affliction that kills off thousands of grandmothers and brings a peculiar gleam to millions of eyes. It's known as baseball fever, and nowhere is it more prominent than in a certain white frame house on Maple Street in the fair city of Springfield, like this. Well, sure, but they had the tying on on third, didn't they? The situation called for a squeeze play, and you know it. Jim, your eggs are getting ice cold. One out and a man on third, and he lets the batter hit away. But Kelleher hits the long ball, Dad. If he hit a home run, we'd have won the game. But if you're not interested in... But he didn't hit a home run. He popped up. Well, sure, but he could have hit a home run. The paper says it might snow. If I'd been running the team, I'd have squeezed the man in. Maybe Kelleher doesn't know how to bun. Three people in Miami were lost in a blizzard. Anybody who doesn't know how to bun has no right playing in triple-A ball. I didn't say he didn't. I said maybe he didn't. Sixty-four people were killed in a telephone booth. But if he played it safe, he couldn't have missed. Somebody dropped an atom bomb when they weren't looking. That's fine, honey. But the basic principle of the squeeze play makes it almost foolproof. All they had to do was... What? Something wrong, dear? What did you just say? I don't know, dear. I wasn't listening. Sixty-four people were killed. Oh, that. Where did you see anything about sixty-four people being killed? Well, you know, I may go down in history as the first person to find a practical use for the atom bomb. What are you talking about? It's probably the only thing known to science that will stop a conversation about baseball. Sixty-four people in a telephone booth. Well, they were good friends. Good morning, everybody. Good morning, buddy. How's the baseball capital of the world? We have just relived last night's game between Springfield and Columbus. Margaret. Pitch for pitch. Holy cow, Mom. We were just talking. Baseball. I got all dressed up last night, and where did Roger take me? To the ball game. Hey, did you see the game last night? Well, I was there. Betty, in the ninth inning, when Sarah was on third... Jim, let's not go into that again. Please. But, honey, if she was there... I don't even know where third is. Oh, fine. And furthermore, I don't care. Drink your orange juice, dear. Betty, how could anyone possibly be in this family as long as you have and know as little about baseball? It isn't easy. But I'll keep trying. Buddy. Hello, I am. Kathy's only nine, and she knows more about baseball in ten minutes than you do in a year. Hooray for her. But, Joe Phillips was here last night. Just a second, kitten. Tell your sister where third base is. Third base? That's right. I didn't take it. Betty, when you played baseball, where is third base? Oh, it's the rock next to the Hathaway's fence. Margaret, may I have my coffee? Of course, dear. Did somebody move it? Kathy, let's talk about something else. Well, that's the nicest thing I've heard around here for the past month. Father, they're having a sale at Gorman's, and I saw the most wonderful... Betty. Yes, Father? We're not going to talk about dresses. I wasn't talking about a dress, Father. Oh, well, that's more like it. This was the most beautiful suit you ever saw. And it was reduced from $89.50. Betty. Yes, Father? No. Jumping creepers. Anybody else have any ideas about a topic of general interest? Wall Street? The foreign situation? Gasoline scooters? Not gasoline scooters. That's what I thought. How about Joe Phillips? Well, that's a nice, lively subject. What about it? He was here last night. Fine. Anybody have anything brilliant to say about the weather? Did I tell you about the envelope? What envelope? The one Joe Phillips left. This is going by way of Sioux City, Iowa. All right, Cathy, what about the envelope? It's on the desk in the den, and Joe said to be sure not to lose it because it has the tickets. What tickets? The baseball tickets, the Bud one and the raffle. Hey, Bud. Baseball again. But I won. Oh, God, you're getting the whole table? I won the tickets. Dad, they picked my name. I won. Bud, will you please calm down? There's no need to... Cathy, see who's at the door. It was Bud's door. I won. Never mind whose door it was. Please see who it is. Gee whiz. Just because I'm the littlest one in the family. Bud, what's this all about? I won the tickets. Oh, dear. You spilled the cream all over the table. I'll fix it, Mother. You won what tickets? For the double headed tomorrow. We all chipped in a quarter of peace and I won. I got two tickets for a quarter. Bud, don't you realize that that amounts to gambling? And you know how we feel about gambling? It wasn't gambling, Dad. The boys' club got the money that was left over. Oh, how much was that? 35 cents. Give the tickets back. But, Dad, they're playing Columbus. I wouldn't care if they were playing the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. Oh, gosh, Dad. I thought you'd be happy I could treat you to the game. When a bunch of boys... What? Well, we couldn't afford to treat our fathers any other way, so that's the way we did it. Your father's absolutely right, Bud. You and the other boys had... Just a minute, Margaret. Let's look at this thing in a practical way. Well, Jim... As long as the boys had an unselfish motive. Jim Anderson. And after all, the boys' club is making 35 cents. Bud, the next time you spill the cream, you can just clean it up yourself. All right, Betty, that's good enough. Gonna play Columbus, huh? They're in first place, too. But if we win both games... Daddy! Just a minute, Bud. What is it, Kathy? It was a telegram, and I had to sign for it. Fine. Now you can sit down and rest a while. Who's it from, Jim? Well, suppose I open it and see. I think that's a very good idea. I signed it. Kathy, enjoy Anderson. I had to write it very small. No! Jim! Why does she have to pick on us? It isn't Aunt Martha. Not again. She'll be here in the morning. Oh, no. What are you so happy about? She always gives me a dollar. Maybe she won't come, huh, Dad? Like last time? She'll be here at 10.17 tomorrow. Oh, dear. Why does she have to come at all? She's only going to stay one day. How do you know? It says so here. See? Arrive 10.17 train Sunday. Staying one day. Meet me. Tight-fisted old character? Did it kill her to use more than ten words? Jim... Well, she's my aunt, and if I want to say she's tight-fisted, I'm going to say it. She's tight-fisted. You said it. Bud, will you please show a little more respect for your elders? But you just said it. Never mind what I just said. She's old enough to be your grandmother. Over a certain amount of respect? Yes, sir. The old battle-axe? Well, that takes care of your ballgame tomorrow. Why? Jim, you're not going to run off to a ballgame and leave her here. Why not? Jim Anderson, I will not entertain your Aunt Martha and her friends alone. What friends? Who said anything about any friends? Aunt Martha hasn't been in Springfield for over a year, and I'm sure she expects to see all of her old cronies. Well, let her go see them. Who's stopping her? We'll have to have them here. Holy cow. Oh, Margaret. We'll have to serve tea and get some little cakes and things. Jim, I haven't time to argue about it. I've got a call Mrs. Thornby and Mrs. Winters. You mean rich Mrs. Winters with the iron fans? Yes, dear. She gave me a dollar once. And I know she'll expect to see Mrs. Horace and Mr. Forester. You mean rich Mr. Forester with the electric runabout? He gave me a dollar, too. Kathy. But they're the most prominent people in town. They're a bunch of old fuddy-duddies. Jim, that's no way to refer to the aristocracy of Springfield. Aristocracy my foot. Just because they've got a lot of money. Oh, mother, this is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened. We can get our names in the society column. Isn't that awful? Margaret, just because my Aunt Martha's husband cornered the market in buggy whips. Jim, please stop. He was the biggest crook in the whole buggy whip business. That's what he was. Amanda Wilson, we'll have to call her. Amanda Wilson? Margaret, if you'll only listen to me. You mean the Amanda Wilson with the Rolls Royce and the chauffeur and the butler and the cook? Betty, stop drooling and sit down. But father. But and I have tickets for the ball game tomorrow and I don't care if my Aunt Martha shows up with the caretaker of Fort Knox. You are not going to leave this house tomorrow afternoon, Jim. And you might as well... Betty, where are you going? I have to call the society editor and arrange for pictures. Margaret, for the love of Pete. And it's a double header too. There'll be lots of other ball games. And Kathy, you haven't finished your breakfast. I haven't got time, Mommy. I have to go to the store. What for? I have to buy a new picture. We'll father go to the ball game with Bud or stay home and help entertain Aunt Martha. Right now it looks like mother will have the best word on that. But more often than not, ladies, you look to the man of the house for the final say-so. For example, the final judge of coffee at its best is your husband. For he's the world's greatest coffee expert. We're known as experts too because more families buy Maxwell House coffee than any other brand. But when your husband sits down to enjoy coffee you brood while he's the only expert you want to hear from. And tomorrow you've only to pour him a tempting delicious cup of Maxwell House to see him glow with pleasure and say, Gee, that's good coffee. You bet he'll say that. Fact is, we'll return your money if he doesn't say so. You see, only Maxwell House has that grand good to the last drop flavor thanks to a recipe that belongs to Maxwell House alone. It's a recipe that demands choice, rich coffees, blended and roasted just so. That's the reason no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House. No other coffees made like Maxwell House. So serve our Maxwell House to your husband. If he doesn't smile and say, best coffee ever. Well, just send us the can and unused portion and we'll refund your purchase price. Our address is right on every familiar blue tin. Yes, tomorrow fill the cup of the world's greatest coffee expert, your husband, Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. It's Sunday in Springfield and the noonday sun is shining and bright and warm. There's a feeling of joy and exhilaration in the air, a spirit of gaiety and good cheer. Everywhere that is, but it's 607 Maple Street. There they've got Aunt Martha like this. I can feel it going right through my bones. All right, bud. Close the window again. Yes, ma'am. Miserable city Springfield always has been and always will be. You know Aunt Martha, there's a train leaving at one o'clock. Well, I just want Aunt Martha to be happy and if she doesn't like it in Springfield... Don't you think the children have grown, Aunt Martha? What did you expect them to do? Get smaller? No. Children have been growing for thousands of years but parents act like they ought to be given a medal. Did you say something, dear? No, I was just thinking. Jim, stand up. What? I said stand up. Now look, Aunt Martha, I'm not a child and if you think... Jim. All right. I'm up. Now what? Disgusting. What is? The way you put on weight. I've done no such thing. I can wear the same clothes I was wearing 15 years ago. As a matter of fact, I am. You've got a corporation. I have not got a corporation. Jim, stop arguing with me. If there's one thing I detest, Margaret, this room is stifling. Yes, Aunt Martha. Stuffiest room I've ever been in in all my life. All right, bud. Yes, ma'am. That's the trouble with modern houses. One minute they're cold. The next minute they're hotter than the hinges of wind. You little Kathleen. Is this the bag you wanted, Aunt Martha? Oh, thank you, child. You're very sweet. You're welcome, Aunt Martha. Only one in the entire family have an ounce of brains. Can't for the life of me figure out, bud. Yes, ma'am. The newspaper office and it's all arranged. That's fine, dear. She's going to send Mrs. Lay them over as soon as she finds her. Isn't it marvelous? I wish you would stop bouncing. Yes, Aunt Martha. It's enough to make a person seasick. They might even take pictures. Would you like to hear my piece now, Aunt Martha? Not right now, Kathy. But Aunt Martha said she was going to give me a dollar as soon as I... Your mother said not now. Gee whiz. Bud. Yes, ma'am. What are you doing with that window? I thought somebody said bud. Close the window and leave it alone. Yes, ma'am. Bud, may I speak to you in the den, please? Jim, you're not going to try anything. I would like to speak privately to my son about something I just happened to remember. Do you mind? No, but just be careful. Yes, Margaret. All right, bud. Who's going to open and close the window? I'll take care of it. Okay. Come on, bud. Yes, sir. Now, would you like to hear my piece, Aunt Martha? Why don't you wait until later, Kathy? There'll be lots of time, Kathleen. Lots of time. Boy, am I getting a workout with that window? Bud, when does the first game start? 1.30. All right. Are we going to take this lying down or are we going to fight? I don't know. We're going to show Aunt Martha that she can't push us around. Had a boy. And do you know how we're going to do it? How? I don't know. Why don't we just go to the ball game? Bud, your mother and I have been happily married for 18 years. And if you don't mind, I'd like to keep it that way. Okay. It's going to take an emergency. What if there were an emergency? What kind of an emergency? The worst kind. Hector Smith is in trouble and we've got to help him. How do you know? He's going to call. Well, he won't really call, but I don't want you to get the idea that this is a usual thing with me. Oh, I don't, then. This is an extreme sort of emergency. It's just a counteracted. You bet. Do you understand what I've just said? Sure. We're going to pull a fast one on mom. I suppose you could put it that way. What are we going to do? That's a very good question. Now all we need is a very good answer. Let's see. You were to go next door and use the Davis' telephone. That's a good idea. No, if you weren't around, your mother'd get suspicious. What's the difference? She's suspicious now. True. But in planning a campaign of so delicate a nature... Daddy? Kathy, that's the answer. Good old Kathy. It is? I mean, she is? She certainly is. Daddy, Mommy says... Just a second, kid, and come on in. Bud and I want to speak to you. Don't we, Bud? Oh, oh, sure. What did I do now? Not a thing, baby. Not a single blessed thing. Mommy says are you going to stay in here all day? Kathy, how would you like to do a big favor for Daddy? What kind of a favor? A very simple one. Call me up on the telephone. Where are you going? I'm not going anywhere. Then how can I call you up? Because you're going somewhere. I can't. I have to recite my piece. Just next door, Kathy, to the Davis'. Next door? To the Davis'. And you want me to call you on the phone? That's right. What for? Oh, we want to see if the bell rings. What bell? Oh, well, sure. Why didn't you say so? I just did. And, Kathy, we don't want Mommy to worry about the telephone, so we'll keep this a secret, won't we? Oh, sure. Go out the back way. It's quicker. Okay. Say, how do I know if it doesn't ring? We'll tell you when we answer it. Oh, that's right. That's a good girl. We'll be right in, honey. To make it look good, I won't rush to the phone when it rings. You take it and tell me it's Mr. Smaire. Okay. And keep your fingers crossed. I've had him cross all day. What are you two mumbling about? It's just man talk, honey. Well, how's everybody getting along in here? Jim, you've got to do something about this house. Betty? Yes, Aunt Martha. The wind whistles through here like a sim. Want me to take the window, Betty? Would you please? Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry, Betty. I have to answer the telephone. He means if it rings, he has to answer it. Don't you, bud? Oh, yeah. That's what I mean if it rings. A big, kind of silly answering a phone if it didn't ring, wouldn't it? Jim, I think you and I had better have a little talk. About what, honey? Don't forget Aunt Martha's here and she's our guest. Aren't you, Aunt Martha? You made more sense when you were five years old. I guess I did it that, didn't I? I have never seen a house like this. As soon as the window is closed, the furnace goes crazy. Betty? Yes, Aunt Martha. Enough to suffocate a body. Well, what do you know, the phone? Dad, it's Mr. Smith. Bud. Don't you think you ought to answer it first? Oh, sure. I'll be glad to. Never mind. I'll get it myself. Bud, you and I are going to sit down and have... Yes, ma'am. My son. Leave it to him to get everything all fouled up. It's Mr. Smith. Hello? Oh, hello, Sam. How are you? No, we were just sitting around talking. You are, huh? How did that happen? Stuck in the mud, huh? Outside of Plainville? Well, that's awful. Daddy, don't you want to talk to me? Why, it won't be any trouble at all, Sam. Daddy. Bud and I'll be there in less than an hour. Daddy. Glad to help, Sam. It isn't, Sam. See you later, Sam. Daddy. This is awful, Margaret. Sam Woody's in a terrible spot. So I gathered. He's stuck in the mud outside of Plainville, and I promised that Bud and I would go help him. Okay, Dad. And make sure we've got a good tow cable in the car. You bet. Better take along an extra motor, too, dear. All right. What? I was talking to Dorothy this morning, and she said their motor was being overhauled. Yes. And I really think they should have a motor, don't you? Driving around the way they are. Well, did it help? Yes, Sam. You know, it's a funny thing, Margaret, but somehow I get the impression that you don't believe me. No. Yes. Your entire attitude is very strange. It isn't just my attitude, Jim. I see what you mean. Dad. Oh, I have to answer it first. I'll get it, Bud. Don't you want me to see who it is? No, I'll see who it is myself. A big help he turned out to be. Hello? Hello, Daddy. This is Kathy again. Yes? I forgot to ask you. Oh, that's what it was. What was? Sam, I'm sure glad you called back. Hold on a second, will you, Sam? Margaret, it wasn't Sam Woody, it was Sam Moore. Oh, really? Yes. Wasn't that silly? Probably the silliest thing I've ever heard. Let me have that phone. The phone, please. Hello, Kathy? Yes, Mommy? You may come home now. Daddy's all through playing games. Yes, Angel, it rang beautifully. That's good. Goodbye. Goodbye, dear. Margaret, if you'll just listen for a minute. Yes? Well, maybe it'll take a little longer than a minute. But you see? Yes? Bud. Hey, Dan. Yes, there's something I think you ought to... It didn't work, huh, Dan? But there's no sense letting those tickets go to waste. So why don't you take them over to Mr. Phillips? Tell him we won't be using them. Are you sure? Quite sure, dear. Okay. And everything has to happen to me. Well, that was quite a performance, wasn't it? We'll talk about it later, huh? On that. Well, if you two are caught up on your gabbing, you can get me my coat. But Aunt Martha, I told you we're having a tea. Well, have it. Jim, don't stand there. Get my coat. Aunt Martha, you don't understand. This tea is for you. You don't have to visit your friend. They're all coming here. My friends? Jim Anderson, do you think I came all the way from Columbus to visit those old fogies? Aunt Martha, I'm going to the ballgame. Oh, no! Before you decide on the coffee you'll buy this weekend, ask yourself this question. Which coffee will give me the best value, the most for my money in genuinely good flavor? Put it that way, and you'll choose the one coffee famous above all others for flavor, our Maxwell House coffee. Then serve a heartwarming, fragrant cup of Maxwell House to the world's greatest coffee expert, your husband. When he beams with delight and says, best coffee ever, you'll know it's Maxwell House for flavor. And during the week, just count the many cups of superb coffee you get from that familiar blue Maxwell House tin with the big white cup and drop. You'll have your proof of value, ma'am. Tomorrow then, for more flavor, more real coffee drinking enjoyment, take home Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. Now it's Monday, gloomy, gloomy Monday, and nowhere is it more so than in the Anderson's breakfast nook, like this. A fine Sunday, that turned out to be. Methuselah and his girlfriends. But how many times have I told you not to read the newspaper at the table? I just want to see the ballscars, Mom. Can I please... Holy cow! What's the matter, bud? Dad, look at this! I want to see too! The irate spectator... Oh, no! Jim, what is it? Betty, you wanted our name in the paper? Well, here it is. On the sport page? That's right, with a picture and everything. Jim, you're joking. Oh, sure, big joke. The irate spectator who was arrested for beaning an umpire with a pop bottle during yesterday's doubleheader has been identified as Mrs. Martha Randolph, who was visiting her niece and nephew, Mr. Mrs. James Anderson of 607. Oh, no! Hurry, hurry, hurry. Step right up today for brand-new crinkles. Candy-kissed rice. It's twice as nice. Crinkles, the sensational new sugar-coated rice cereal. Yes, sir, the whole family will have a circus eating crinkles, because candy-kissed rice is twice as nice. Just add milk or cream and eat. No sugar needed. Crinkles are the quick energy treat for snack time, too. Crinkles, the newest post-serial. Get candy-kissed rice crinkles today at your grocer. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy on the Maxwell House Orchestra. In our cast, we're Rhoda Williams as Betty, June Whitley, Ted Donaldson, Norma Jean-Nelson, Isabelle Randolph, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for DragNet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Your police force goes into action. It's DragNet, next on NBC.