 Fourth dance lesson is an equation. So we love math. Who doesn't love math? You know laughs? There's a book called really hard math for Whatever elementary school students. I'm gonna buy that and torture my grandchildren with it one day Anyway, this is a very simple math equation and its trust is equal to competence times intimacy So if you want the big assignments at work You you need the trust of your boss Well for sure you have to be competent and and we all know that We'll work hard for that to get your education for that and then you know You want those difficult assignments so you can prove yourself, but then there's also intimacy, which is the comfort factor that Other people have when working with you this can be especially challenging for a woman Especially if you're working with men who don't really know how to take you You know, maybe they don't they're uncomfortable working working with women. I remember when I was young Younger before, you know, I'd established my name at the company and I would work in a group usually I was the only woman and Sometimes I would get treated like the daughter Which is a little bit on the patronizing side and then sometimes I would be treated as like the potential date Which is also not the kind of place you want to be So in in men today are afraid of sexual harassment claims So a lot of times they're just not quite so sure and you know when somebody's uncomfortable with you When you're having an interaction and they're just their body language just screams it like oh boy I can't wait to you know get away and they keep their distance So part of human nature is then when somebody is that way Then it makes makes you kind of tense and uncomfortable and fidget so what I try to do in that situation is just Make my body language visibly relax You know and smile and try to be easy to be around Not in a giggly way or a goofy way or a talk too much talk incessantly kind of way But just a little bit more relaxed that helps the other person to relax and Networking is part of developing the symptom as well Here's a trick. I'm not terribly social person. I have decent social skills, but it's not my go-to place Here's a trick when you're going up to somebody and Let's say you're in the workplace and you're at their desk Just look at what's on their desk. Is it a piece of artwork from a child? Is it a picture of their wife? Or is it you know the pets? You make it first make a little tiny personal connection like that And then you can kind of start into the work kind of conversation