 Have you ever got caught in the cycle of dating douchebag after douchebag after douchebag? Well, I've done that many a times and apparently this is something that Alissa Violet struggles with as well. And I'm guessing there's a lot of you watching this video who have been through this too. Or you know somebody who's been going through this. Well, in this video, we're going to talk about why this happens and what we could do about it. We have to ask ourselves, are we just having bad luck or is there something else going on? What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and sometimes what I do is I take different topics going on in the YouTube community, trying to see what we can learn from them, the successes and the mistakes to see how we can improve our own mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And if you're not yet, follow me over on Instagram and Twitter at the Rewired Soul. And real quick, real quick, I know so many of you out there. So many of you out there are horror movie fans and some of you struggle with anxiety. Well, the last video I did was a collab with the amazing artist, Kadri Milk. And we talked about horror movies and anxiety. So if you're into either of those things, please go check that video out. I am very, very proud of that video. Kadri Milk just started making videos and she is just superb and she's an amazing artist. But it's a whole different style and I just really want you guys to check it out. So that'll be linked up in the info card. All right. So anyways, we're going to be talking about what's been going on with Alyssa Violet. She just came out and even though her and FaZe Banks said that their break up was very amicable and everything was on good terms, well, she just came out and explained that FaZe Banks was cheating on her. All right. So if you're new to this channel, if you ain't been here or you haven't been here for a minute, all right, this video isn't about that nonsense. We're using that as context so we can see what we can learn from it. Because like I said, like I have been in so many terrible relationships. All right. Before I found my beautiful girlfriend Tristan, I was in so many terrible relationships. And it's very clear as you'll see in a second that Alyssa Violet has been emotionally abused. All right. And I know a lot of you out there watching this, you've been in a lot of terrible relationships as well. So we shouldn't just be watching all this stuff just passively. We need to take a look at it and say, oh, I can relate to that. What can I do about it? All right. So to give a little context, what happened was after months of FaZe Banks and Alyssa Violet being broken up, she came out and tweeted out, you know, it was a reply to this older tweet from 1122, which she says, I was asleep upstairs with our dogs and he wasn't next to me. So I checked our guesthouse and caught him naked in bed with a random girl. All right. So later on, you know, this was like trending on Twitter. Alyssa Violet was trending and FaZe Banks ended up sending out this tweet that says, I love you. All right. So before we jump into a bunch of the responses that Alyssa Violet made, like, let's go back in time. All right. Because it's important that we look at our own patterns. And we're going to be talking more about that in a second. But when Shane Dawson's series Inside the Mind of Jake Paul came out, like a lot of questions were around what happened with Alyssa Violet. OK. And one of the episodes from the Shane Dawson series was dedicated to interviewing Alyssa Violet. And it was very clear not only was Alyssa Violet being cheated on by Jake Paul, but she was being emotionally abused and manipulated. All right. So after her and Jake Paul split up, she ended up dating FaZe Banks. And yeah, like all this information just came out. So after FaZe Bank, he tweeted out, I love you. She replies, did you quote unquote love me when you texted that girl, like you were on your way to her hotel room at 6 AM to quote get weird while I was sleeping next to you? Did you quote unquote love me when you said you were at highlight room but I had your location and you were at a random apartment complex for two hours? Did you quote unquote love me when you broke eight of my phones? Did you quote unquote love me when you smashed in the back of Chantel's window of her car that she gave me? All right. Like I said, I can relate. So again, before I dated Tristan, I was in a lot of very abusive relationships. Not a lot of guys talk about this, but it happens to dudes too. I was emotionally abused constantly. And in some of those relationships, I was actually physically abused as well. OK, so before I move forward, I want to make it clear. I want to make it very clear that this is never OK. It's never OK to emotionally abuse somebody else in a relationship. Like it's not good to do that period, but that is never OK. So when we look at people like Jake Paul and FaZe Banks, yeah, those dudes are dicks. All right. So I want to share just a little bit about what I went through. So like I kept dating all these women, right? I was one of those guys and you might be able to relate to this. If you're like this too, I was one of those people where I just couldn't be single. I could not be single for the life of me, right? Right after a long term relationship ended, I was in the next one. You know, I just could not be single. And every single relationship just ended terribly, absolutely terribly. And my heart was broken and I was in a lot of long term relationships. And like I said, like I was being emotionally abused. And like I just started to pity myself and like we're talking about like a dozen relationships and I would like call, you know, my mom, who's like a psychologist and I would like talk to my friends and everybody like, why, why, like, why do I just why can't I just find a good girl? Why can't I find a good girl? Right. So one thing is if you want to understand why you date, who you date. There's actually some really interesting psychology behind this. I made a video on it and I'm a link down in the description down in the pinned comment, up in the info card, go check that out. It will blow your mind. You'll start to understand why you date douchebags. All right. But anyways, getting back to my pity party. Why me? Why me? Well, eventually when I started working on myself, I learned that I had what people call a broken picker. OK. So what's a broken picker? You might have a broken picker. I had this insane ability to pick the absolute worst people, right? We all have a type. Everybody has a type. My type was crazy. OK. I would find women to date who were just emotionally unstable, who were mean and angry. Like there were constant red flags, but that's who really got my mojo going. You know what I mean? So after being in all these relationships and wanting to swear off all of women kind, like I had to start looking at how much control I had in the situation because I want to make it clear. We have zero control over how other people treat us and what they're going to do to us, right? So like I said, in Alissa Violet's case, she had absolutely no control over what people like Faze Banks did to her, over what Jake Paul did to her. No control at all, right? I had no control over the abusive relationships that I was in, except when looking forward to my new relationships, I had to see what control I did have. And the control I did have was who I chose to be in a relationship with. All right, you can live in that fantasy world of the heart wants what the heart wants. Well, when my heart wants crazy, I can't just keep following it around to jump into these abusive relationships. You see what I mean? So like in Alissa Violet's case, you know, like we look at that. I've seen a lot of people talk about this on Twitter. I think Elvis the Alien even said something about it on Twitter. But like here, here's me. When I look at this situation, I look at my own history, right? Like, like you were dating a guy who's like motto, his main motto in life is phase the up, right? Like that dude was destined to be a douchebag. And we're not even talking about all the other things that he's done. But again, I want you to take a look at your dating history, right? The people you've dated in the past. Can you look at each one and say, oh, yeah, I really, I really shouldn't be surprised at how they treated me, right? Like were there red flags? Were there warning signs? Were there any signs before you got serious? Right? So what's the solution? What's the solution to all this? First solution, as soon as you're done with this video, go watch that video about why you date who you date. It will be very eye-opening for you. All right. Second one is this from my own personal experience. I had to learn that it was OK to be single. All right. Like when I'm when I was in this mode of desperation and you might recognize this about yourself, too, when I was just desperate to get into another relationship, like my standards were lower and lower and lower and lower, right? Because I needed a relationship. So you don't got to do this, but I actually stayed single for a year and a half before getting into another relationship. All right, it was much better, but it was still kind of crazy. And that was before I met Tristan. Anyways, I learned that I had to stay single for a while. OK, but the other thing is, too, I had to go through my previous relationships and recognize the patterns that that were there or the red flags that were there. So before Tristan and I actually started dating, I had been, you know, just casually dating other women here in Las Vegas. But I never committed to them. And you want to know why? Because the red flags were right there. All right, like if I was just talking to a girl, right? And we're like a week or two into talking, maybe been on one date if we're lucky. And she flips the hell out on me. That's a red flag. I probably shouldn't date that person. All right, if the person was just really obsessive or overly attached, I was like, this might be a red flag for jealousy later on. Like I'm not saying like immediately judge people. Sometimes people are just going through things and they'll get passed and everything like that. But even when I finally settled down with Tristan, we were talking and going out on dates before we made it official for, I don't know, I think like a month or so. You know what I mean? And she was single for a very long time before dating me because she was cautious about getting into a bad relationship as well. And now we're coming up on three years. So if you're in this situation like I was or like Alyssa Violet is. OK, like just know that it is possible to break the cycle. OK, and another great option is therapy. If you can't figure this stuff out on your own and you have the resources to get therapy, go and do it. All right, ask your doctor if they can recommend any good therapist. Call your insurance company. Ask them if they can recommend any good therapist. I don't care how you get therapy. If you have the resources, get you some therapy. Always in the description below, sometimes in the pinned comment, you'll see an affiliate link for better help online therapy. I use better help online therapy. So when you use that link, you get online affordable therapy and a little bit comes back and supports the channel. But if you keep getting into bad relationships, bad relationships, after bad relationships, start taking control. All right, like we can't be stuck in a bad relationship if we don't get in one in the first place. All right, so I hope the best for Alyssa Violet. I hope she recognizes, you know, her own patterns that she might have. And I hope she has a support group who's there for and everything like that. But I also hope all of you are taking this stuff into consideration and you can hopefully break that cycle as well. All right, but anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge, huge thank you to everybody who supports the channel over on Patreon, as well as everybody who supports the channel by buying my mental health books over at the rewiredsoul.com and our merch and everything like that. You're all amazing. All right, thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.