 Ooh, that's a hot mug, guys. Hey guys, just doing some editing here. Just got back from painting Arcade Expo down in Seattle. It was a fun time, a little bit. You know, there's things that could be improved upon, but since it's coming back from COVID, I couldn't really expect much from it. What I actually went into with actually zero almost zero expectations and somehow I was still disappointed was Jurassic World. As you can see, I just finished watching it. And I really hope Mr. Colin Trevor here never gets a job again. I don't know why Universal fought to double down on this dupe after he made a movie so bizarre and so high up on his own butthole fumes that it got him kicked out of his Disney contract for making the ninth Star Wars movie, which all things considered, it actually might have been okay, but that's something that just we'll never see. But this here, Jurassic World Dominion, like it's not as stupid as Falling Kingdom was, but it's just as brainless. For a film that's supposed to be wrapping up this bizarre stupid trilogy that Colin's given us, he does essentially the exact same thing that he's done the last two movies, except all of it feels so by the book or not even that, more so minimum effort. Sam Neal and Jeff Goblin are so obviously here for a paycheck, it hurts. Some of the line delivery in this film is abysmal, but the person who is the worst, the absolute worst is this guy called Campbell Scott. He plays Dodson in this movie, who apparently like that is their strangest way of kind of trying to get fan service again for this movie. Oh wow, I actually just improved my lighting there. I should do this more often. So, Dodson is now the leader of this other incredibly shady company that now is doing seemingly good things with dinosaurs, but really it's all shady shit and he's causing a locust horde that Beatty Wong, who now is sad, cardigan man, is very regretful of all the things they've done now because all of the bugs are killing everything on the planet. And Dodson's just like, yeah, you know, and literally he delivers lines like that. He actually delivers some lines in a way that I think, okay, that must have been just him forgetting the lines. And they're like, okay, you know what? We actually, he was so bad throughout all of the movie. We're just gonna put in this and try and make some humor. No, he's gone awful. I don't know how he has a career. I have admittedly never seen him in anything else, truly, but I don't know how he was the first casting choice, because he is carnate, sorry, he is cardboard incarnate. This man is so inanimate, is so lifeless, so undriven that he will give all of those awful D-list movie actors from those terrible 90s, 80s, 70s movies a run for their money. Kirsten Stewart in Twilight is leaps and bounds better than this gentleman because while her acting was terrible, at least she was trying to emote. This guy doesn't even bother, and they even take lines that I swear to God he fucked up. It's just such a bland experience. It doesn't have any character to it. It has no heart to it. It has no knowledge to it. Poor Michael Criken is probably rolling in his grave once again. And it seems that people finally, or at least some people, finally caught on to how fucking dumb this was or at least a good portion of the people who saw the first one, I'll admit, like I came in with a Jurassic World roast into glasses and I enjoyed the movie a lot more than I probably should have because when I rewatched it a few years later, I was like, okay, wow, this is actually kind of stupid, but there were still some enjoyable bits to it. You can tell that they had worked on that script for a while and then Fallen Kingdom came out and that was a big bag of dumb, dumb, doodoo bullshit. It still made a billion dollars. The first one, the Jurassic World made 1.6 billion. Fallen Kingdom made 1.3 billion somehow. This one did not crack the billion mark. It got real close. It got to 996 million, but that means that every movie was a significant drop. This movie dropped 600 million from the first movie. I just, I don't know why they went with him. I don't know why anyone had any hope that this movie was gonna be good. It is such a bland story that it feels like it's a television episode from the middle of a season of some show you're watching. It's not even a finale in terms of its creativity or its woohoo action bit or its ramifications to the story. The whole idea of Jurassic World was the idea of what would happen if dinosaurs got out into the real world. And at the end of the last movie, I actually admit, I was like, okay, you know what? Maybe, maybe the next one can actually have an interesting idea. And I think that was blown out the window within the first 10 minutes because after the whole locust thing that's talked about, that's it. There's not really any other ramifications other than like, oh, here's some funny internet videos of people being attacked by dinosaurs. They talk so nonchalantly about the end of the world happening despite the fact that dinosaurs being re-acclimated into human society would be devastation on a scale untold. We would have people being eaten if these dinosaurs are reproducing as rapidly as this movie is implying, we would lose the planet. We would have to kill them all if we wanted to survive. And that's the other thing too, is it's like this whole, they're still trying to save them, which is like, come on guys, there's a reason why we exist now and they're gone now, we can't co-exist. And they don't even try to really establish that in the movie. They're just doing it, oh, we gotta do it. Oh, we gotta get Blue's kid back because Chris Pratt made a promise and he's really good at holding up his hand now. It's just such a boring movie. It doesn't have any soul, it has no heart. It has nothing, it's not even a wet fart. It's just that dry, airless, odorless one. It doesn't even have any taste to it whatsoever. It is the lamest Jurassic Park movie of the entire trilogy, of the entire saga. Like as well, the last one was dumb is absolute dog turds. At least it had some horror elements in it. This one didn't, it seemed like it tried. Dinosaurs just kept on appearing randomly in situations and areas that the characters just so happened to be in. It was all these different, like it was cool to see different dinosaurs but you have to have substance to it guys. Like the plot of this movie is probably about like, I don't know, a napkin's worth of detail. Blue's kid and biogenetic clone girl who should truly have been way more important. Well, I guess they actually took some notes and they're like, oh, wow, actually, maybe this girl is the most important part but then we're immediately gonna let her go because Campbell Scott is a absolutely dumb fucking actor, character as Dotson and just, oh. Yeah, you know what? Like at first I was thinking, like, you know, maybe this isn't as bad. Maybe this isn't as bad as Falling Kingdom but it's worse. It has so many obvious cues of please pay attention to us. Look how much nostalgia we're giving you. Oh, hey, look, we're gonna have Malcolm do the same thing we did in the last movie. Oh, hey, we're gonna have Grant do the same thing he did in the other movies. Hey, we're gonna have a fight with a T-Rex, a Giganosaurus and some random one with big long claws, all of which appear so suddenly out of nowhere, you think you're watching a wrestling match and it doesn't help either when the T-Rex is seemingly beaten but then he from behind gets up just like Randy Marsh did against Bat Dad because you can literally hear the T-Rex say, hey, Giganosaurus, I didn't hear no bell and then they perform a double team very much akin to that of the first Jurassic World movie and everything is here except for Jim Ross yelling, oh my God, and a chair shot. Jurassic World just sucks, guys. It's a one out of seven for me. It is by God awful. It is boring, it is soulless, it is no point to its existence. It is a very, very shallow attempt at making another Jurassic World movie when there could have been maybe something to it and Colin and everyone here is just getting a paycheck. Any kind of actual heart, soul, care is gone. It's everyone just making for a paycheck. Like Chris Pratt isn't even a character in this. He's just, he's not even like, he's a tone down version of himself in this movie, I swear, like no one actually has a character element. Maybe for Bryce Dallas Howard because they're also trying to address things that fans have brought up with this woman seemingly somehow not going to jail despite fucking up royally in the first Jurassic World film and should honestly face Jaltown. But anyways, guys, that's all for me. Hope you enjoyed this review. If you didn't leave a like and if you're interested in more subscribe. Admittedly guys, this might be the last review you see for me for a while. I will try and put out something before I go, but in six days I go, five days, I go to England for the first time ever and I'm going to be gone for two weeks. So just list a shirt though. The reviews for season seven will start up sooner or later for those of you who know what I'm talking about. You know, anyways guys, that's all for me. I didn't see this in theaters and I am very happy I didn't. I would have felt like I wasted fucking money. I wasted time and that's just as precious in my opinion. Anyways guys, that's all for me. See you guys next time.