 You're listening to highlights from The David Feldman Show, heard nationwide on Pacifica Radio, or as a podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, and now YouTube. Please subscribe to this channel. For more information, go to davidfeldmanshow.com. Thank you for listening. The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic humps. I should warn you that at some point we may be interrupted by the sound of children screaming. The police still haven't found what's underneath your floorboards. It's a crawl space, but yeah. No, it's my children who are desperately trying to get to me in the basement. But instead, I'm choosing to use my free time talking to you. Ethan Berlin has been on the show before. He goes way back with me. He and I would do animations together when I was blowing a lot of time, money, and guys trying to learn animation. He is a writer, producer. You've seen his work on the Wayne Brady Show? What's up, all my... Hello? Yeah, did I just lose you? No. Would you like to? No. Totally biased with Walter Kamau Bell, Cranky Ankers. I really say Walter. His name is Walter. It is, but you actually see that in print? No, I just know him as Walter. Oh, you just know him? Okay. Yeah. And you created a game show, I believe it was called Bunk? I did, yeah. You actually created a game show and sold it? It was very successful. And it was on Netflix, if memory serves? Yeah, I mean originally it was on IFC, and then we wanted to do more. IFC said they were unwilling to pay for it or air them. So now you can watch it, I think, on Netflix. Well, you see, you don't know how to negotiate. That's their opening. That was our walk away point. They say we don't want to pay you and we don't want to air it. Then you come back with... We countered with, why don't you just not pay us? Or why don't you just not air it and just pay us? The show biz is very rough. It sure is. It sure is. That's why I wanted to be an animator. And that's why you drew Murray the Nut. Yeah, Murray the Nut. I was just seeing it. I've been on a five-year hiatus. Here, I'll read you the last one. It's two panels. The first panel, there's a gentleman, he looks very concerned. He says two wrongs, don't make a right. And then on the second panel, he's very happy, the gentleman. And then we see there is another gentleman who is deceased on the floor. The first gentleman says, but I'm still gonna fuck this corpse. So after I did that one, I said, you know what? I don't know if I have much else I need to say. Hold on, there are 14 comments on this. Are these spam or not? Let's see. Someone says LOL, someone says more. Oh my God, I'm very popular. Someone says, and this was how Murray was put into prison in the end. Well, what? Oh my God. Well, maybe America's demanding it. Maybe not. Yeah, I'm very successful. Murray the Nut. I call it foul-vism. It's very primitive, cartooning. The drawings are almost stick figure-like and the captions are horrifically funny. And they're like Lay's potato chips. Go to MurraytheNut.com. Oh, let me check it out. Oh, it looks great. Go to MurraytheNut.com. You will stay on that website for an hour. You just keep looking and looking. And I gotta warn you, it's right up your alley, folks. I have to warn you, you're gonna like it. You're gonna love it, you're gonna love it. So, without getting too personal. Okay, good. You stopped doing it because you had kids. I suggest that that's what happened. I'm trying to mean... It's not a bad hypothesis. But I don't think I stopped doing it because I was like, oh, this is a moral wrong, which it is. It is. I think it was just more like, oh, when am I going to draw dirty pictures when I don't have any time to sleep? Well, was it an outlet for you? It was, yeah. I mean, it was, you know, I started it as a effort to... David, you don't work a lot. But when you work in show business and you're a writer, a lot of times you don't end up doing your own thing. You work for other people. And so this was an effort, well, I'll do one thing a day that is mine that features a lot of cum eating and that sort of thing. And I said, Wayne Brady, you can't touch that. That's my cum eating. He was very upset. That was the effort. I would say to debase it, to describe it in a way that's unfair. Think of the worst comics you ever saw at Hustler Magazine. And then go three steps lower. Yeah. And that's... For a while I had a goal I really wanted to get into the New Yorker. Your stuff is funny, though. Hey, come on. You don't like cat cartoons? Their cartoons are funnier than their shouts and murmurs. I like the murmurs. Did you ever come up with a Murray the Nut that was even too offensive for you? I'm being serious. Did you ever do... Yes, yeah, yeah. There actually have been a couple that I over the years have taken down, I think two or three, that I was like, I don't know if that's necessary. Like what? Well, I took them down, David. Oh, I see. You guys, you Reddit sleuths are going to have to go through the cache and figure it out. Did anybody ever complain? That I took them down? That you picked them up. The ACLU was like, this is an injustice against the First Amendment. Charlie Hebdo said to you this guy. Did anyone ever complain about the cartoons? Yeah, I mean, I feel like I don't necessarily know if it got enough attention to be complaint worthy. I mean, like, I think the people who would have complained really didn't, you know, read it. Go to MurraytheNut.com, check out these cartoons. They are of the same class as National Ampune in its heyday where it was shocked for the sake of shock. That's not true. A lot of them were expressing how miserable I was. Did your parents ever see? They were not happy with it, I would say. How did they know about it? Well, I mean, they were the nude models. I don't know, because I would post incessantly about it on Facebook because I was obsessed with my visits, my views. Is that what it's called? Clicks or something? Yeah. My analytics. So I just tried to pressure everyone I knew into reposting them and then was surprised when people didn't. They didn't want to be associated with it. What did you think was going to happen with MurraytheNut? I thought, well, I don't know if I thought. I hoped you probably never had this. There's sometimes when you write comedy, when you think, oh boy, I don't ever want to do this again. And if I ever have to see any of you again, I'm going to pretend you don't exist. Yeah, I mean, I sort of had a vision that I would move out of LA. This is when I was primarily in LA. And moved back to my home state of Virginia and support myself through web comics. That didn't happen. It hasn't happened yet. And did you think there was a market for MurraytheNut? Did you think that this was going to be the thing that would cut through all the clutter and people would reward you, that you could end up to be the next Hank Ketchum or Gary Trudeau? I don't think I thought in those terms. It didn't occur to me that, I mean, if I just made funny things, then I would be wealthy. That's how it works, right? Describe the second to last MurraytheNut. Well, here's one from, I'm just scrolling through. This is just the one I'm on right now. October 15th, 2010, if you remember that day. This is a three-panel cartoon. The first one is a gentleman. He's very happy. He's saying, I'm enjoying the fruits of my labor. The second panel, there's a woman and she's very happy. And she says, that's great. And then in the third panel, the guy from the first panel is licking something off of his hands and says, my labor is masturbating. The woman is unhappy about this. Are there any comments on that? There's one comment. Let's see. Somebody said, that's gross. I laughed out loud. Literally, thank you for your hard work. You know what the dumb part of this was? It actually was hard work. I'm such a terror. The pictures are so terrible. But if you looked at them, you're like, well, this guy did these in about five seconds. But this is the best I could do. And I would spend eight or nine hours on them just to make them... My goal was just like, oh, can you understand what is supposed to be happening? Can you tell that this guy's licking come off his hands? And then I would redraw it a thousand times and then take it into Photoshop and mess with it. But now I'm an iPad pro, so I don't need to do any of that. And then I met you and I fell in love with you. I know. That was awkward. We decided that I would animate some of your Murray the Nuts. I just want to be clear. You decided you would animate them. And some of them were pretty funny. Yeah, and they were very dirty and you were... You kept pitching them. We were working on the Spike Ferrison show. And you kept trying to get Spike to put them on the show. That's right. And I was like, but I was like, this is not right. I don't think they're going to get on the show. That's right. That's right. I spent all this time and money learning Toon Boom. Toon Boom. Yeah, and I wanted to be my own animator. I had it with show business. I figured I'm going to learn to draw, to animate. This way I don't have to deal with actors, producers. I'm going to learn everything and go off and be Seth McFarlane and just control the whole product. And I would... I miss my kid's childhood because I'd be upstairs learning Toon Boom. Well, I mean, I'm sure your child is incredibly grateful that you were otherwise occupied. I think Marty Short, Martin Short... I call him Marty. I call him Marty. I think my wife at the time asked Marty to come over and talk me out of it. He came up to my office and I had these wild eyes like Richard Dreyfus in Close Encounters. Never seen it. And I'm saying it's going to be great Marty. Another year and I'm going to be my own animation studio. I'm not going to need anybody. I'm just going to need people to read my scripts and nobody will edit me. And he took me out to lunch and said, we're concerned about you. But we did. You know, that's the thing about the internet. They sell hope to you. Read me another panel. I'm sure. You thought that... For those of you who haven't heard Ethan on the show before, he created Murray the Nut. It's my favorite cartoon strip. You did get... I know you got work off Murray the Nut. I know this for a fact because I remember somebody saying to me, I'm thinking of hiring Ethan Berlin. Is he funny? And I just wrote here and it had a hyperlink and the person clicked on it and said, I got to have this guy around me. It's not going to help the show any, but it'll be fun. I'm not hiring him, but I do call him around. No, no, no, no. I think that people go to Murray the Nut and they see your... Okay, this guy, he's getting it out of his system. This is really funny. Maybe he won't turn into a shooter. So in a way, this vanity project, Murray the Nut, Murraythenut.com, it's a lost leader, as they say in business. I don't know what that means. If you own a department store, you put something up front as people are walking into the store, they see something that entices them to go deeper into the store and it's a sale and you're going to lose money on it. It's called a lost leader, but it keeps the person in the store long enough to keep shopping. So you're losing money on Murray the Nut, but it's getting people in the business to be intrigued enough to hire you. Give me another panel. I'm wondering if this one is going to translate, but the first panel is a woman, she's very excited. She says, we finally got a baby bump. The second panel, another woman, presumably her friend, who knows, says, also excited, says, you're pregnant. And the third panel, the first woman says, this is where it's hard to translate. She says, nope, we buried an infant. And then there's a grave that has a bulge over it, like a freshly dug grave. And that, guys, that's what the baby bump was, but I don't think that translates as well. Let me ask you a question now. What year was that? That was back in the heyday of child death jokes. 2010? 2010 Obama was still president? Seven years ago. Now looking back, because I'll be honest with you, I would laugh at that harder before I had kids. Yeah, I'm not as much into dead kid jokes now, because it just seems sad to think about. Yeah. Because of the dead kid. This is a single panel, see if this one. You know what I want to do with you? I want to go to the 92Y and interview you in front of 4,000 people going over your panels. Like this. Go ahead, read me one of your panels. This is just a single panel, guys, to be playing along. This is an empire state building in the background. I drew that by hand. And it's a New York City sidewalk. There's a dude walking along. And he has stopped in his tracks and is staring a Gog. He has a T-shirt on that says, I heart New York. And then he is staring at another guy who is staring back at him who has a T-shirt on that says, I heart my pets vagina. Okay, that one didn't go over well. And what were you thinking when you made that panel? I mean, there's a big epidemic in New York City. Of? Dude, I'm not a politician. What was the point behind that? You were saying that... That man liked to have sex with his pet. And who knows what his pet was? Maybe his pet was a fish. Think about that. What do you think a fish's vagina smells like? Is Jack Handy still doing deep thoughts? Is it too late for that? Were you making a point about the kitsch that tourists buy? Yes, that was my point. A lot of my stuff was anti-kitsch. Some of these are very sad. Read me a sad one. And some of them are political. I love the political stuff. Oh, good. Murray the Nut, you're taking a stand. This is, what, around 2010? Is this about Obamacare? Is this about Deepwater Horizon? Oh, my God! There actually was one about Deepwater Horizon. It's very dumb and very long. And probably took me two days to draw. But you felt the world needed to hear your scathing criticism of BP and drilling off the coast of Louisiana. So go ahead. You know what happened? No, this was really too hard to read. Go back to May 2010. No, go back. I want to hear the Deepwater Horizon one. No, it's too detailed. I'll get you another one. I want to hear your political statements. Hold on, I'll get a better one. Dude, a lot of these. I mean, some of these aren't as good in retrospect. They say a great pitcher can remember every ball he threw in a game. Do you remember every cartoon panel where you were when you came up with it? Oh, that's interesting. I think some of them I remember. I have a general idea because I would usually draw in a couple of places. This one, I don't know if this one's political. This is two panels. It must be difficult. Oh, it's a guy talking. It must be difficult for two sisters where one is much prettier than the other. And then his friend in the second panel says, only if they both want to be loved. Oh, David, I've disappointed you. I like that. There's an element of truth to that. It's sad. It's dark. It doesn't involve jism. Let's see what kind of audience we're working with here. Well, I mean, David, what can I do to get you to laugh again? It seems like I lost your baby killing. Maybe you had me. Maybe I'm posing for my audience and be deep down inside. Well, let's talk about you. What have you done? Well, the joke I keep quoting on this show that I'm ashamed of. I think a week doesn't go by. I don't mention this because two comics recently reminded me of this joke. Apparently I tested this joke in front of a packed audience one night in Las Vegas, where I said I just got back from the Bunnyland Ranch. I put my hands around a prostitute's throat. I started squeezing and I said, stop me when I get to $300. Jesus. Wow. And I don't remember. I don't remember doing that on stage, but two separate friends individually have called me after hearing the podcast claiming they were there when I did that bit. Wow. I can't imagine being that insensitive. How well do you think did it go over well? Well, if I did the joke once. Once, yes. I think it probably didn't work assuming I tried it. Do you like a filthy writing room? It's interesting. I don't think it's as helpful. Because it depends on what your goal is. If your goal is to sit around and amuse each other, then it's good. But I've noticed that in rooms where we're actually not as filthy, that you're more concentrated and actually making a good show. That's very, not making it. You're concentrated on writing whatever you're writing. Did this occur to you after you became a showrunner? Probably, yes. Yeah. So your first couple of jobs as a comedy writer was all that matters is I'm funny. I'll sit around the table, make jokes with my fellow writers, make everybody laugh, and the guy in charge will love me because I'm making everybody in the room laugh even though I'm distracting the showrunner from what he's trying to accomplish, which is get jokes for the show. Well, it depends. Meaning there are a work of lots of people who the showrunner is partly in charge of the insanity, meaning we're there, but that's what they want. But I think the older I've gotten, the more I'm just like, let's make some funny stuff and then let's go home. I don't need to be in this room all day, all night. When you're early 20s, you can't believe they're giving you free Coca-Cola. Wow, you worked on some fancy shows. There's a refrigerator that can open it up and I can just, all the candy and cupcakes and sugar I want, let's just stay till 6 in the morning. Let's just stay here. Have your kids come into a comedy writing room yet? That's interesting. Yeah, I mean, I've brought them to work. Usually it's like, the places I've brought them in since I've been working haven't had traditional rooms. They've sort of just been open cubicle levels and they run around. But everyone's very nice to kids. One of my sons used to come in when he was like, when he just started to walk, he would come in at a job I had. He'd run right to the snack room and I'd want to meet as much sugar as he wanted and then he would bounce off the walls and we'd all laugh and then he'd throw a temper tantrum. It would happen like every three months. I'd say, let's bring them in, give them some sugar and watch them have a temper tantrum. Then he got older and he would come in and go, listen to this and he'd fart. Yeah. And I got threatened by him. Yeah. Suddenly he was working smart and I had to tell him to stop doing that because he'd crack up the room. He'd be standing there and he'd go, I'm reading your script. What about this? And then he'd fart. Really? Yes. You must have been so proud. Well, I mean the level of guffaw that he would get by seriously saying to them, he'd be reading jokes or something. He goes, well, this is interesting, but have you thought about this and then he'd fart and nobody could believe that he had the balls to do that. Oh, that's not how you fart, by the way. Oh, really? It's not balls. My male queefs? It was a great Dominican baseball player. Is he retired now? Yeah, they killed him for his pension. $1,000. He went back to the Dominican Republic. Sad. I love my male queefs. Played for the Mets. My male queefs. Sad. That's really... Now it got dark. It did get dark and I don't think my male queefs is ever going to get admitted into the Hall of Fame. Well, not in one piece. David Feldman. You know if you search for David Feldman. This is what comes up. David Feldman, David Feldman, MD. I'd let there be a David Feldman. Yeah. It was a doctor, yes. David Feldman worldwide. Well, that's me. That's you? Yeah. David Feldman, Dwayne Morris. That's me. Why? I am a plumber. David Feldman, NYU. That's me. I teach at NYU. Do you? Mm-hmm. I don't. How many David Feldmans are there? No, you don't. David Feldman at NYU is a gastroenterologist and he's much better looking than you. There's a gastroenterologist named David Feldman. Yeah. My male queeps. What medicines are you on? I don't take medicine. Really? I try not to. I'm on a lot of medicine. Google me, see what comes up. Support the show by shopping on Amazon.com. How does that work? You get a small percentage. If you go on to my site, then click the Amazon banner. Okay, I just did. All right. Are you on the site? Yeah, now it brings me to Amazon. Okay, so there's some kind of cookier code in that URL. Uh-huh. And whatever you buy, we get like 5% of everything you purchase. It doesn't cost you more. And I don't know who the people are who are doing that. And I don't know what you're buying, but thank you if you do it. Wow. My male queeps. So wait. Yes? I mean, this is my Murray the Nut. Well, no, I'm not trying to take it away from you. I just don't understand. So any if, I mean, what is, I'm so confused. Are you rich? Loaded from the show. Okay. I'm holding out hope that somehow this can be my Murray the Nut. God, this is a great way to make money. How much money are you making on this? I don't know. A couple of million a week. Who did your website? Jimmy Lee Wurt. It was very good. What are you? Great groups. Wait a second. Are you moving chairs around? No, that's a male queeps. That's in the upstairs. Yeah. That's probably a male queeps. That's upstairs. Well, I have held on to hope that somehow this podcast could become a full-time job. Okay. My goal is to have it be like the New York Times where people can read transcripts. I know. Obituaries. Obituaries. I have a goal. If I had the money. Yeah. Every episode would be transcribed so people could read it. Uh-huh. Everything's cataloged on the website. Oh, you do have a thing that has transcripts. Yes. But then I run out of money. Wait. Because you have to pay someone to do it? Yeah. So. What? Who's the audience that's reading a transcript of a podcast? They have important people on, like the author of Murray the Nut. Oh, well, that makes sense. Actually, a transcript. Have you ever read like a transcript of Meet the Press? It's much more efficient than actually sitting and listening to it. Oh, that makes sense. It's one of the reasons transcripts are hard to come by. Because once you start reading transcripts of a show, especially a news show, a little bell goes off and you say, hey, why don't I just read instead of watch this? I could get so much more done. I always say if you have a short attention span, reading is much more satisfying than sitting and watching television. They always say television created our short attention span. I think reading did. Because when you read, you can scam television. You got to sit put for 30 minutes to watch a show. Sorry. I stopped listening. And then you have a click, a link that says NSFW. That was put in by Jimmy Lee Wurt. I don't know even what's there. I have a feeling. Oh, Murray the Nut's on here. Is it really? Yeah. What does it say? It just says Murray the Nut and there's a link. That's it. Which panel did I pick? There's none. It just literally says Murray the Nut. And then I don't understand. My anus is bleeding. That's a cartoon. Here's a cartoon. Whose cartoon? Oh, it's an animation. Oh. What? Funny. It's a cloud with a leaky ass. Did you make that? No. Did I make it? I don't think so. Because Jimmy Lee Wurt is in charge of NSFW. What is it? That serves her work. I know what that means, but why is that? Oh, it's by, oh, it's Don Hertzfeld. I don't know who that is. He's the guy who made this video. Okay. So now what happens is I want people to go to my website and download my interview with Congressman Alan Grayson, right? Okay. Instead they're all going to go to my website to see my leaky ass. Yeah. This is what happens. This is why you should never mix NSFW with socially redeeming content. People will always choose not save for work over something that can actually help society. Is there anything going on in politics wise or in society? Nah, not really. We're taking a break this show. I've gotten a couple of requests from my listeners. They got mad when I had Trump fatigue and ignored the Trump administration. Now they're getting mad that it's too much Trump, too much sad news coming out of Washington. So today's show is a bit of a vacation from what's going on. You're welcome, everyone. Yeah. We'll be back next week with the healthcare bill and gun control and Jared Kushner. He's a good guest. Jared Kushner. Yeah, the Kush. Yeah. Do you realize when Jared Kushner goes to prison, it'll be the first place he ever got to completely on his own? Yeah, you tweeted that. Busted. Yeah, sorry. Do you read my tweets? Yeah, I must, I guess, huh? Working people, tell everyone where they can find your tweets. I'm LinkedIn. Do you have a LinkedIn? I think I set one up a long time ago and I've ignored it and I should probably update it. Do you have a LinkedIn? I was the same and then I spent the last year running this comedy channel and everyone, it was run by Hearst and Verizon and they hire everyone off of LinkedIn and I was like, oh, maybe I should get a LinkedIn. I have one. Have you ever gotten hired by? No. Okay. And were you doing the hiring? When? For this, what were you doing? You were doing like last TV or something, right? It was a digital comedy channel called Seriously.TV. You know your two favorite comedy hubs, Hearst and Verizon? Well, they thought, well, what if we combine our comedy power into one? And it was interesting. We made a lot of funny stuff. We had to make six videos a day and we had to make them for Facebook. So it's tough. There was a lot of obstacles, but I would say there was, you know... Jay Leno was in the room for a second. Yeah. Oh my God. Jay Leno's gotten fat. How fat? I was watching this kid show the other day and he had a cameo and I was like, whoa, dude. I'm very fat. Have you gotten fat? Yeah. When you say fat or you need to lose a couple of pounds? I could stand to lose. I could, literally, David, I could lose 120 pounds. Seriously? Yeah. I'm going to. That's a whole person. Yeah. What happened? Wait a second. When did you put on 120 pounds? Are you putting me on? Well, I mean, it's not like I never... I mean, I've been heavy my whole life. I don't think I was being heavy. Well, I think when I worked with you on Spike Ferris and I was probably 70 pounds overweight. So you've gained 50 pounds? Let me see. That's 70. Don't try with your Jew math. Come on. I know you're playing tricks. Do you... I have nobody to give advice on. I know. Do you eat a lot of sugar? I do. I think the business makes you fat. Well, it doesn't help. I mean, but I'm now... I've actually given up sugar now for the third time. For Ramadan. Yeah, I just can't eat sugar during the day. Last year I gave up sugar for Yom Kippur. It was nothing. I thought that was a good one. Anyway... In other words, you were eating on Yom Kippur, but you didn't eat sugar. Well, I was going for... I was so dedicated that I gave up sugar for one day. Right. And I told somebody that you lost your virginity. Well, I have. To a rabbi. Right. We talked about this last time I was on the show and it's still not true. I've never had... I've never had relationships with that rabbi. Is that what Clinton said? Yes. I think I could fall in love with a rabbi. Now is the perfect time. They say most people, they're second marriages to a rabbi. Statistically. The only problem is I don't think it could be a female rabbi. It would have to be a male rabbi. You know what? I mean... Are you eating? I just noticed you put something in your mouth. Oh, you can hear that? Yes, I can hear that. Can you hear this? I don't hear that. No, I don't hear that. I was coughing. Okay, but if you marry... So either way, if you marry a woman or a man, they're going to, I think, be a reform rabbi, right? Are there conservative female or gay rabbis? The Orthodox have female rabbis. Really? Yes, but you can only fuck them through a hole in a sheet. I don't know what the joke was. I didn't have a joke. I had a hole in the sheet. Yeah. Now I feel bad. I don't feel bad. I've had no sleep. I did a thing from my friend Saul Colt. Who's that? That's a famous movie star. Yes. More at Saul. That's different. And I got up at 5 in the morning to get some place on an hour and a half of sleep. And if I don't get enough sleep, my memory goes and if my memory goes, I can't make up jokes. Oh, I have the same thing. I think I have sleep apnea. I'm thinking of losing 120 pounds. Do you wake up in the middle of the night? Stuggling for breath? I wake up in the middle of the night. I don't know if I'm struggling for breath. Are you choking? Yeah, but that's unrelated. Oh, you're having a wet dream. Yes, where I come into my own mouth. I was thinking, how about this? Yeah. Because I was having a wet dream. And the only way I can have a nocturnal emission is if I block the flow of oxygen to my brain. So they looked at me. I was sleeping with my hands around my throat. Who looked at you? The pimp. Oh. Do you want to know? Hang on. Is that funny? That in order for me to have a nocturnal emission in my sleep, I have to choke myself. How about that as a Murray? Hang on, that would be a funny cartoon. It's a guy strangling himself in his sleep. How about this? How about this? Okay, it's a kid, a teenage kid. Well, yeah. He's strangling himself. He's choking. I don't think, yeah. And the mother and father go his first wet dream. That would be funny, right? Yeah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Go ahead, I interrupted you. Oh, I was going to say I'm on LinkedIn and it suggests jobs for me. This is account supervisor, regional sales manager. Really? Yeah, I don't understand how LinkedIn works because I mean, it's not like, I mean, my jobs are, I list some of the shows. They have AI and you've been feeding your jokes into LinkedIn. Yeah. So from the jokes, that's where they come up. Director of business. Oh my God. Do you like administrative work? Do you like being in charge? Well, those are two different questions. Yeah, I mean, I like, sort of. I like getting things going and moving and but, you know, spreadsheets, I need help with. It's nice. Someone else spread. Do you like running a room and helping people when they're not feeling funny and encouraging them and. Wait, is that what you're supposed to do when you run a room? Oh, when I run a room, I just alpha dog people into oblivion. Yeah. Yeah, I like doing that. Do you like to nurture talent and then yes, and then see them sprout wings and fly off and become successful? Or do you like to turn my calls? Yeah. Or do you like to clip the wings? No, I like, I like helping out young people. That was actually one of the best parts of the seriously was working with. I mean, we worked with some immensely talented young people who are definitely going to be very successful. Are they millennials? Millennials. Yeah. I worked with millennials. The rap against millennials is they're young, they're happy, they have their whole life ahead of them. Yeah, that's what people. Their feet don't hurt. They're not bitter. They're not resentful. They're not the kind of person who you can replace for somebody a lot cheaper. That's the rap against them. Is that a fair? That's what people say. Is that fair? Yeah, I mean, you kind of nailed it. I mean, the cliche is, sure, they're better than you. I found, I learned a lot working from, working with, working against, working near millennials. I found them to be, see people say, I think their one rap is that they're lazy or something like that, but I found them to be insanely confident to a degree that I never would have dared to have been at their age, but to their benefit. Like, you know, they were the first, there was a lot of years when I was working on shows and I was just like, yes, sir, I'll do whatever you want. I love you guys. And there's, you know, these younger guys are like, it doesn't seem funny. Or that's not really, I don't really want to do that. And, but they would have something they wanted to do and they'd be like, all right, well, do that. You know your voice. That was, I don't know. It kind of wish when I was younger that I had had more conviction. Millennials know exactly what they want. Does it help sometimes to not know what you want and be told what to do? Does it help sometimes to... Yes, David, you're a good person. Does it sometimes help to have had a day job to eat somebody's excrement? I don't know. I mean, what's the... So there is part of me that's like, oh, I want you to suffer the way I suffered. But did it make... Did the shitty parts make me better or did the good parts make me better? Right. It's not like they're not disciplined. Like they would still work the hours and put the work in. It's just they would... They didn't do the butt munching part. They don't do the butt munching. And is that because of technology? They've learned how to do all these things on their own so they no longer need this creativity funnel that has to be approved by the graphics department and the director and then the... Now they can just make the thing by themselves. They're not accustomed to the funnel. Right? Yes. They don't need anyone else. Which is what our dream was when we first... With your David Feldman show. I needed to learn that I didn't want to need anybody else. Oh, they already know that. Yeah. But you do need people. I mean... Yeah, they're not. But I mean... Don't they have too much sex? Yeah. That's what drives me crazy about millennia. Yeah. It's the worst. Their cavalier attitude towards sex and how disposable humans are to them. That's my only criticism. I hate when they're walking down the sidewalk and they just... they'll see you like a baby carriage and they'll just start fucking it. Fucking a baby carriage which is disrespectful to the baby. I just... You know the other thing about millennials. Have you seen this when they start eating out a manhole cover? I just... I just can't stand that. Not... It's like, get it together, guys. Yeah. Alright. Well, this was fun, right? No, it wasn't. I was gonna tell you... It wasn't fun? No, it was a hoot. It was a hoot in a holler and I apologized to everyone who had to listen. Gosh, there was something mildly interesting I was gonna say, but we'll do it in three years when I'm back on again. You used to do this show when I did it in front of a live audience. I did and I was... I read Murray the Nut there and it was very exciting one night because you have famous friends and Robin Williams was there and I was like, oh man, I'm about to perform for Robin Williams and then he left before I performed. But maybe next time I perform he could come. He was a very, very talented gentleman. That's who I wanted to be as a kid. Are you being serious? Yeah. I wanted to be Robin Williams or Bill Murray because I was a kid in the 80s. They were huge and I was like, I want to be those guys. Who made you laugh really, really hard as a kid? Was it Bill Murray and Robin or was that somebody you wanted... Yeah, man. Well, Ghostbusters came out and that was great. Eddie Murphy as well. Now that I'm an adult I was allowed to watch Beverly Hills Comp because that's not a kid's movie, right? Or you're not... Oh, wait a second. Yeah. Are you going to keep your kids from seeing certain types of comedy? I have a feeling you are. What do you mean? I try to control what my kids saw but I had no say. So by the time they were six they are already watching South Park. Really? I had... Oh, yeah, I don't want that. I hear this maniacal laughing coming from the living room and it's the nagger episode. The Wheel of Fortune. Jesus. And I go, I turn it off and my son is there with his friends and they go running. Appeal to the higher court and I was overruled. I kind of think she was right. I think kids should see all types of comedy and... Cinema? Well, not squirter videos but... Yeah, I'm looking at Beverly Hills Cop came out when I was seven. Man, it was R rated. I can't believe that I was low. Also just because of my parents. I can't believe. I mean, I definitely saw it when I was a kid. What I discovered with my children they were saying certain types of comedy in an early age that they kind of learned there's a time and a place for it. They're very funny and have gentle senses of humor because of it, I think. So, anyway. Maybe I'll have him go watch us now. Hey, congratulations on being invited back to my show. You're... I thank you and I thank the Academy. That's my new thing. Going, hey, I heard you got the David Feldman show. How many...what's the... Who's been the on the most? Me, surprisingly. Oh. Other than you. I guess Eddie Pepitone, Frank Conniff over the years Jim Earl. All right, all good people. Howie Klein. What happens is people tend to do the show a lot and then they get sick of me and they stop doing it for a while. And my feeling is keep putting them on until they realize I'm an a-hole and then they go away. That's why I haven't been on in four years. I had a bad year to do this show. Yeah. So what are we going to do now? Read me one more Murray the Nut and then we'll say goodbye. Oh, hold on. What is this? This one. Oh, I found one. Let's see. This one is really well drawn. Okay, read it to me. I don't know. I just was... That one was good. Yeah. Are you reading on the toilet? What are you doing? Yeah, sorry. This whole thing. I'm in a body. This one doesn't have a hard punch line but it's just a picture of a book and the book cover says looking for places to shit and then the caption is if I ever write a memoir. Yeah. I got to shit a lot. I know that we did one. We animated one. Where it was something like and you did the voice, I did the animation but you drew it and you're saying to a woman I lost my virginity in my parents basement. Where did you lose yours? Do you remember what she says? No. Come on. I lost my virginity in my parents basement. Where did you lose your virginity? My butt. Yep. This is great. This is a great... great jeopardy. And what was great about it was Ray James and I were writing these. I was animating them and then we were pitching them to Spike Farristan to put on the show. Not that. Not that dirty. We can do these. They're very primitive. Tracy Allman had those primitive Simpsons. We'll do them cleaner though. Very politely said let me think about it. Which was no. And I didn't understand why he didn't... Wonderful stuff. MurrayTheNut.com Thank you Ethan. To DavidFeldmanShow.org Dot com. Go there. Buy stuff on Amazon through them. Oh boy. Alright well I'll see you next time. Thank you for listening.