 Hi, what's up you guys? Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here. Hi, I'm Lydia I make mental health YouTube videos here on YouTube today I'm talking about diazepam basically how it affects me what it does to me and Because it's trying to tell them and I thought I'd take it at the beginning of the video so you can just see The it's just you know what me and there's my part of my regular prescriptions. So Let's talk about what there's a pump actually is there's a pump is a bensir there's a pin It works in a multitude of different ways for me. I'm prescribed it for my anxiety and To keep me more chill through today because I find my mood changes very quickly all the time It's right up and down and it's just kind of it doesn't sedate me. It just really calms me down I don't have any sedating effect from diazepam at all, but it definitely keeps me calm and a more reasonable Level so the back of my box basically says take one or two tablets three times a day I'm having two tablets Primarily because I've been on it for so long my body is kind of built of a bit of a tolerance to it, which is fine It's okay. That's what happens with these medications. It's not the end of the world So I was prescribed diazepam last year. Yeah, I first started it in February and I restarted it again in October I Started it because my anxiety was getting very out control. I was having more flashbacks and becoming more unsettled and ultimately I according to the mental health team I'm unsettled a lot because of everything that happened last year doesn't surprise me to be honest with you Diazepam is one of them medications that I don't know if you can ever be like a hundred percent comfortable with taking I have a lot of fear with my medication and this is one thing I want to talk about I have a lot of like medication anxiety and I'm gonna do a whole video on that But what I mean by that is when I go to take it I have panic attacks before I take it because of the side effects That's why it takes me so long to have the tablet. So the side effects I mainly get off there are the muscle weakness Like I get very my arms get very weak and I have a very very low ability to actually function properly So this is what it looks like Exciting just a very small White pill. There's a lot of stigma around taking diazepam, although that's one thing I have noticed The level of stigma surrounding this tablet if you type in diazepam on the internet You just get just get a load of like news reports. It's addictive. It's addictive. It's evil. It's dangerous. And yes It's addictive. I don't know it can be addictive. I'm not gonna say I'm gonna say that no It's not because I know people who have dealt with addiction with this and have dealt with addiction generally speaking I know what it's just like hell. I used to do cocaine I think that's part of the reason why I don't find this addictive mainly because of my past experience with the drugs To me, this is the opposite of what I used to go for I used to go for like something That speeded up my thoughts rather than slow me down Does anyone else ever get like terrified that this tablet is like stuck to the back of their throat and then feel like it has But even though you know it hasn't I can't be the only one that feels like that I've been tweeting a lot recently about medication and I hosted a tweet the other day basically showing what I was on and It got so much support at the level of support that that tweet got was beyond anything that I had It was just amazing. Why do you like about this medication? And I'm gonna be honest I'm making a video me and Eric are gonna be doing a collaboration video later on this week where I talk about The pros of being on Benzos because they are Lifesavers people I will say this now without the medications I want I couldn't go out of the house I mean if I don't take it for a day, I can't physically leave my bedroom meaning I don't eat or I don't even go and get a drink of water That's the level of how bad my anxiety is so taking a fucking pill whether it's addictive or not is So much better than putting myself through a living hell I'd rather take an addictive tablet that I could be weaned off via professionals Then I would to be sat in my room all day doing nothing because I do like going out I do enjoy it, but I also have a lot of anxiety around it and Unfortunately, I can't change that at the moment if I can take a tablet and it is so I'm going through all of it I don't care if it's addictive or not if it helps it helps and I think that's what people need to remember Like yes, Benzadayasapines are known to be addictive I can't sit here and say they're not addictive because they are known for that's what they that is them Like your body can build up a tolerance to them so fast I think with day as how it takes eight weeks for it to build up a tolerance It's something to feel like should be represented better Like would you rather have panic attacks all the time and have intense anxiety not be able to leave your house or take a Pill that could be addictive but maybe won't be to me I don't find it addictive like I said I can go without it. I can't go out with that But I can you know, I don't need to take it. I don't have a desire to like or any more anymore I don't have that desire in me and I'm gonna compare it to when I was hooked I hate saying it when I was hooked on cocaine But when I was on that I would want more all the time and it got that got really intense as you don't know that story I'm going to make a video talking about addiction at some point. I just feel like I want to like my head gets really like Do you know when you like you feel like you're jelly? I don't know if that makes sense Yeah, you feel like a jelly and you're just wanna I just want to say that there's a palm to me has been a life-safe, but the first time I started taking it I expected way too much from something and that was last year as most of you guys know I went in hospital and just before then I was prescribed as I was like this is fucking pointless It doesn't do anything and in reality I had too high expectations and there's a whole video I want to make now I'm like I'm better myself. I can I'm functioning a lot better than I was last year now. Like yeah I still struggle. Yeah, I have anxiety. Yeah, I have flashbacks still. Yes, I have depression And yes, I'm still have all these mental health conditions. Is my life gonna change magically? No, I can function in society and that's more than I could say about me a year ago I was gonna mention that Eric those who don't know who Eric is Eric here has a YouTube channel here on YouTube and Did a collaboration with me last week and I want to I'm really link Eric's channel in the description because I made a really good video Talking about Xanax and those you don't know in the UK. You can't get prescribed Xanax So I learned a lot about that video. It was really insightful and it's similar to what I'm doing here I did film this video already once but I feel more focused though now I probably should have had this earlier and then I could have done my essay and actually made it so it made sense because I had to write an essay earlier I submitted it and now I'm like really focused. I'm just like does it even make sense why I wrote? I don't know probably not because all day I've been like rapid cycling through things. That's a whole of us video as well I'm basically what I want to say is stay up. Um, isn't the enemy Anyone convince you it's the enemy if you do take it just be careful And if you want me to do like a factual video talking about the different medications I've been on on medication for a moment and want me to do stuff like that I'm more than happy to if you want me to do like more medication based videos or therapy videos Let me know as well if there's any videos you'd like to be to make in particular Let me know in the comments down below if you're new here hit the subscribe button Give me a chance, you know, my videos pretty much every single day. I didn't upload yesterday Because I did a live stream for two hours as you can probably tell my energy levels are very calm very chill and I Would very much so I like to go online bed. So um But I mind I'm gonna end the video here. Like I said if you're new here Make sure you leave me a thumbs up and subscribe Video requests down below follow me on my social media links as always are in the description down below and now I'm hitting into Philip Defanco life's great