 So today we're going to talk about how to meet high quality men the different spokes in the wheel Now before I get into this I think it's really important that I dress a comment on one of my recent posts on my community page and Dress me. I'll circle back to this topic really fast. Okay, and so it says So I put myself back out in the dating marketplace I meant me personally which means I've activated some dating profiles and apps Why am I doing this? I see dating sites and apps as a spoke in the wheel a spoke in the wheel Just like going to workshops Asking to be fixed up by friends and even joining meeting meet-up groups and the variety of different ways of meeting people organically I said all of these all of them are opportunities to meet people Let's face it. If you don't meet people, there's nobody to date In full transparency. My heart isn't in it for the old way of dating Old as in the past 20 years It's like dialing for dollars a sales term When you swipe on a stranger go back and forth on mindless in a mindless text game Only to have them flake at the last moment can anyone relate to that This time I want to be selective and intentional Because I seek a soul based relationship. I'll talk about soul based relationships in a moment Versus a transactional relationship Sadly too many people find themselves caught up in situations When they rely solely on attraction versus compatibility and alignment as the doorway to relationship success Intentional dating is like being your own matchmaker to filter in the right person Which leads to forever after and that's my story and i'm sticking to it So let me share with you. Some people have con said jonathan. You're contradicting yourself. You're contradicting yourself and what I think they mean is that I have said throw away your dating apps and begin a practice of manifesting and courting Let me repeat that I said throw away your dating apps and begin a practice of manifesting and courting. Okay what I really mean by this is that um Dating apps Are a spoke in the wheel To all the different forms of meeting people and we shouldn't eliminate one Because it inherently does have some problems and when I said throw away your dating apps What I mean to say is which I didn't clarify before Is throw away the old way of using dating apps and what i'm about to share is embracing this particular way of approaching dating apps And that is the old way is a very addictive swiping type of Of methodology which as I said a moment ago creates addiction But more importantly it can marginalize a person make them feel marginalized because all we're doing is doing We're making a choice based on physical attraction without any real Understanding if there is true compatibility So what I want to invite you to try going forward is be really crystal clear on Who's really aligned for you? Who's really a really good fit for you? Because the reality is is while we've been indoctrinated and believing that Attraction equals relationship success. You're not familiar with my relationship iceberg. I'm going to share this with everyone Please forgive the glare Attraction that chemistry pieces where most people focus but true compatibility lies in shared values shared vision blendable lifestyles and more importantly emotional maturity And so Understanding this is is about becoming your own matchmaker. I want you to imagine you hired a matchmaker and you said This is who I am as a person In other words, they know a bit about your politics. They know about your religion They know about different i'm using those as examples different facets of your life Whether you have children whether you're raising children. Are you a grandparent? um What your social activities your hobbies are they know this about you and their job Is to match you up with someone who's in the line with you Now most people will say no you shouldn't line up on these things But the reality is is for those of us who have fully curated lives This notion that well if we love each other, it'll just magically work out And as we've seen in the tv show the golden bachelor and i'm going to use this as an example There is gary who lives in indiana who has grandchildren and his children all live nearby He has a home he built And he met a woman named faith Now faith I forget where she lives is it it's not michigan life at wyoming some place where she lives on a ranch She has horses horses. She has a fully curated life where she lives And while they had strong mutual attraction for one another and while he didn't say this isn't the reason why he didn't pick her Why i'm bringing this up is how likely can these two people blend lives together and for those of us in midlife Blending lives is a critically important piece in this equation So what I want you to try going forward and if you need some support with this Here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you And there's a link below as well Is to really get a sense of who you are as a person And begin filtering in Filter in people who are aligned to who you are and you can even use dating apps as a methodology In this process now. I said earlier Manifesting court. Well, what is intentionality? But being intentionality is courting. It's in other words. It's not Passively dating. I had a woman write this Um, and I want to share this because a woman wrote this yesterday on my post Um, she says it's it's truly a journey Perhaps focus on having fun and meeting wonderful people and worry less about which result And more embracing all the joys of life letting love flow Turning into right situations for people. I guess what she was saying is go out and have fun. Just have a good time It's all about having a good time. Just have fun in the dating process I want you to think about this for a moment You know coming back to the golden bachelor. There were 22 women. He was just having fun with Okay Now this is again a curated show But my point is is there were 21 people that were Disappointed with the outcome if they really liked him So if we focus on fun Just keep in mind is your heart can get attached to a person who could be misaligned with you and more importantly You might get attached to someone who might be completely emotionally Constipated emotionally unavailable emotionally disinterested emotionally blocked unable to commit So do we want to just focus on fun based on attraction or do we want to be pragmatic about this and maybe Invite deeper questions right from the get-go To assess this compatibility to assess this alignment But Jonathan all the dating coaches say don't do that. That's an interview process. Guess what? Your emotional well-being deserves Inviting in alignment, but more importantly is assessing this alignment discernment is simply Are we going to be aligned with one another so we don't begin this chemical bandwagon of chemistry? So I want you to think about the word chemistry chemistry is chemicals being released from your brain oxytocin dopamine Testosterone estrogen serotonin just to name a few chemicals getting released That makes you become bonded to another person. Do you want to focus this all this fun? Let's just have fun and get bonded with the wrong person Probably not Let's face it Why don't we examine why relationships don't work? Why are here in the united states? Marriage fails at a 50 percent rate for first marriages and a 65 and 75 percent For second marriages why and I use the term fail. Let's just replace that with the word end Because people naively go into the process. It's an entire naive Ambiguous ambivalent There's so much ambivalence because it's so hyper focused on chemistry and attraction Oh, here's a question for you all can someone write this in the chat box What if chemistry and attraction is merely your soul's recognition? In other words, when you're attracted to someone What if that's your soul's recognition that trauma? Needs to be healed. What if that's the reason why we continually choose the wrong person because it's it's really A journey of bump bump bump bump bump self love by the way folks that know my content know that I wrote a book called what the heck a self love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work links below So Some of you said I contradicted myself sometimes people say that about my content Well, my content is forever changing See, I want everyone to recognize that our feelings aren't facts how we feel about something What we might be thinking in one moment can completely be different in another moment I'm not here to a set or to answer to To establish that everything I say is an absolute I'm merely here to offer perspective I'm here to just throw out a lot of content and throw out a lot of different perspectives to allow you to assess your feelings about certain things in life And sometimes I share from my personal experience and some of you use my personal Expression things that I've expressed before in comments using it against me Um, and when I say using against me is like to Establish where I'm wrong. I'm a human being folks. I continually I say continually as a human being I have multiple thoughts multiple feelings multiple different ways of Looking at things and things change rapidly all the time Particularly because of this medium Called the internet Now does that make me unreliable? No I think in the really important areas. I'm just going to share with you I'm very succinct and established and one thing I think it's really critically important to recognize that when I'm coming back to gary from the the golden bachelor In the previous episode he said he said to three women. I love you I love you. Well, actually he said to Leslie and faith. I love you to into with respects to teresa. He said to the audience I think I'm in love with her And he went on to say I love you in the moment I love you in the moment Now I'd like to think gary is a high quality person meaning he's a man of integrity He's a man where his actions match his words. I'd like to think that about him But he also used the word. I love you in the moment See, this is the thing about feelings and thoughts Sometimes our feelings and thoughts are in the moment But the problem with the framework of I love you oftentimes I love you means a promise for the future The promise for the future And these are really this is where being an integrity Being mindful of the words you use is critically important because If we understand that the words I love you mean a promise for the future then maybe Even though he parsed it by saying I love you in the moment And what he's just simply saying is I feel really strongly for you in this moment But and we we interpret that as love but even love Isn't always a a sustainable fact For an eternity Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know I'm here to just offer some perspective to understand that You know, I think a person who's high quality is going to be protective of other people's feelings. Now mind you This is a tv show that's intentionally designed to ruffle feathers and whatnot. So this isn't a perfect example, but i'm here to say When it comes down to the more important things are we in integrity when it comes to our feelings and recognizing that feelings are constant Like a fluid thing and even our thoughts are a fluid thing So when I share stuff publicly with you all i'm doing my best to be In integrity in the moment, but something I said six months ago might have changed drastically Six hours ago And I just want to address that coming back full circle to this idea of where to meet high quality people First I want you to establish that you are a high quality person I invite you to become a magnetic Attractor for what you want become a magnetic attractor for what you want putting yourself in in in many environments where you can meet people That means out in the real world and at the same time in the digital world as well These are all spokes in the wheel the trap of the digital world is the addictive quality of it This is why since I've joined these apps. I simply paid the extra money to find out who swiped me So I don't get into that marginalized swiping dynamic Now what's interesting about the difference between men and women they've they've done studies this on tinder bumble and hinge That men will swipe on average of 60 of their The profiles that they see on dating sites and women only swipe right meaning interested on five percent So why is this difference? Well, some people will say men are more open To a variety of different women. I say Bullshit on that. I think men men's capacity to sleep with women the barriers very low But a capacity to commit to a woman There the threshold is incredibly high So when a woman only swipes on five percent It's because she's given real serious thought if there is someone a some compatibility between the two Versus just this arbitrary. I want to sleep with men. That's just my assessment Of this statistic that these dating apps profess so I'm going to bring it back to full circle again I'm here to say dating apps are strictly a spoke in the wheel Of every opportunity to meet people This is the the fact the matter is we no longer live in tribes and communities where we're literally in proximity of the person we might Share the balance of our life with it's going to require effort I'm here to say make that effort more intentional Be more pragmatic Be a little discerning That's all you can have fun in the process too coming back to this woman You can have fun in the process But just be careful if you're focused on fun You might find yourself in a hookup or a situation shift Because you weren't also being pragmatic and discerning at the same time. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know if it is post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts I do my best to read all the the comments during the first day of shooting and later If you write comments, I certainly will acknowledge them as well And if you like this content, please hit that like button Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos All right I'm going to take some cute questions right now If you have a question of me right now write the word question in the chat box And then post to your question there after or you can purchase the super sticker super chat There's a little dollar sign the chat box all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor asley That's a picture of him right there It's my son who passed away over five years ago in his honor I donate to causes like the hofman process and insight institute Just the name of you and I do want to acknowledge his brother with him in that picture. That's colin And colin's hopefully agreed to shoot a video with us in the near future Really quickly speaking of connor as i'm waiting for questions to pop up This morning. I opened my safe to get a document out of it And in it fell out a locket of his hair in a plastic bag The day he passed away. I only had a chance to spend a few minutes with him And I decided to cut a locket of his hair And I can't begin to tell you what a flood of emotions happened earlier today No parent should lose a child It just does not go in the order of things And this can direct directly Effect a human being in a way. I can't even describe and I hope none of you ever experienced this in life See unconditional love particularly with a child is sometimes a one way street We are the ones giving but they don't necessarily give to the same degree we do so unconditional love is a blessing And at the same time can feel like a curse Because we give so much In relationship in life to those people that we unconditionally love and so if you're going to give unconditional love in a romantic sense I'm just here to suggest to everyone do it for somebody who's earned it And not because you're strung out on that chemicals. I talked about in the early stages I hope that has some value with what I just shared All right, let's see what kind of questions we have Oh Catherine is in the house and she says your new approach has been around and implemented for a very long time I agree dating sites are a spoke in the wheel in another View new to meet someone that you may not meet organically. This is not a new approach folks I am not offering a new approach I'm safe. I'm simply stating what I observe would be beneficial for folks It's not new in any stretch of the means I will say this Online dating is a relatively new format when you think about human beings if we go back to neanderthal days 200,000 years ago for roughly I think 190,000 years there was no such thing as dating. In fact, if we go back 10,000 years ago when civilization was around. I don't think that's you know, dating has really been around I think dating has only really been around since the 1960s prior to that There were a lot of arranged marriages a lot of people who hooked up and had children and had to get married I think dating is relatively new. I think it's 60 years old and I think online dating is relatively new It's only been around for about 15 to 20 years So there are a lot of new ways and swipe dating is relatively new. It's only been around five to seven years I think swipe dating so we are technology is changing rapidly how we connect with people There's a lot of new ways of approaching things. I'm simply not doing anything new. I'm just offering up ways to operate That feels more incongruent To align to who you are and what you want. So that's my perception on that Catherine Uh dw wants to say facts Getting to know a gentleman who is not lining up with what it takes to get to know someone He's not making enough effort and he's too busy two jobs daytime night again We look at facts But i'm here to say as I said earlier Our feelings aren't always facts even as people say I love you that doesn't necessarily equate to a promise of forever after Like many people observe. So I just want to acknowledge that. So thank you Ty has said I just ordered your book a few hours ago Folks if you want to get a copy of my book, there's a link below ty. Thank you so much and i'm glad you just subscribed as well All right, let's see what kind of questions we might have here Jane is in the house Do you need to join like toast masters bowling club or a nice neighborhood bar as a regular customer? I'm not drinker, but like to talk and smile Well, I don't know about a need but certainly if you if anyone has a desire to try things like toast master bowling Or even a nice night neighborhood bar. Um, I'm all for Every different opportunity you can put yourself to meet people who are aligned to who you are and what you want So those who love bowling. Yeah, I would say that would be a great place to meet people toast masters might be Toast masters could be a very scary place because you're literally stepping into the biggest fear most people have And that's public speaking that might be a scary place But I also believe when we go outside of our comfort zone, we might find Who knows we might find someone that shares our passion in that area. So thank you so much Rose wants to say i'm sorry for your loss. I have three sons. I can't imagine your pain. Thank you so much Yes, it was a flood of emotions today seeing his locket of hair I'm holding back Okay, i'm holding back Uh, yes. So by the way, um, we just got a nine dollar super sticker from uh, debba. I want to give her some big props Thank you so much our goal today is 50 dollars. So we're 10 dollars were closer to that number. We only need 40 more Jane says how about call college classes home depot to ask a man question or men's clothing store I would say do all those things because you want to do them not with the Attachment of meeting somebody do those things because you want to do them and not from a place of i'm going to meet a man That would be my suggestion on that Monique says tinder is the saddest way of dating You know, I I know someone who met her husband and had a child with him and they met on tinder You know, I think we have to be careful Pigeon hauling something is bad Because for some people it works out great. So what does that say? See, I think if we focus on the abundance of opportunities You know, we have a greater chance for success. That's my invitation for you anyway, monique But if you look at something, by the way, my coffee mug says swear a middle swear a little you'll feel better I think i'm gonna be a good boy today and keep the expletives in Uh genie jeanine or how j9 jean jean uh says good point. Thank you so much. I butcher names I am so terrible with names. I butcher them all the time Cheryl says why do men say they like natural women who aren't all made up but don't pay attention to us who are not made up You know, it's interesting. I was in a relationship with a woman who wore makeup when I first met her I also know that when she didn't wear makeup, I liked her. I was attracted to her I actually probably on the days we were hanging out together. I preferred that she didn't wear makeup But when we went out to dinner, I was fine that she wore makeup I think we are some men. I i'm not a big i'm not attracted to women who I think Overdo makeup. Oh my god. I am grossed out by women who have overdone makeup I can't stand the duck lips Mm. My gosh, I cannot stand women who inject plastic into or whatever it is into their lips To me that grosses me out So, um, that's just me personally Um, I don't like eyelashes that look like they could fan, you know, like a beef flippers on On your feet when you go in scuba diving. I don't like I'm not a big fan of that I'm just not a big fan of overdone makeup But and I do prefer, you know a bit more Less makeup more natural. Okay, but um At the same time, there are some women who don't wear makeup and we might not be attracted to them Okay, attraction is a unique You know, you know, here's the thing about attraction. It's a fickle thing I remember about a year and a half ago. I met a woman and we looked so good on paper, you know She's an attractive woman. We lined up in so many different areas But at the end of the day, I didn't feel that connection for her And it's not something I could fake or manufacture And not that she was overly into me either, but we were just kind of looking we just line up so good on paper but sometimes that that you see Chem it's not chemistry, but that there's an elusive part to love that we can't quantify Sometimes it's not something you can you know, you can say it's just there. It's either there or not there That's the tricky part about this whole process. You it's you know, that's the thing when we hyper focus on that chemical attraction piece We miss out on alignment and sometimes when we hyper folk on linemen we miss out on attraction This is the difficult part of this shit Oh there. I said a dirty word Patricia says Jonathan you have done your son proud. I'm extremely sorry for your loss Do you have treasured memories in your you do have treasured memories in your heart and pain is insurmountable In immeasurable blessings to you. Thank you so much. I appreciate that patricia Question after my husband unexpectedly died. I gained a lot of weight. Should I lose all my weight before I put myself out there? I know men are visual creatures Um You know, I I worked with a woman who was five foot three and weighed 220 pounds She literally looked like that oompa loompa or not the oompa loompa A violet bow regard in the willy wonka movie round Remember when she she ate the gum or chewed the gum that had blueberries in it violet you're turning violet And she met a man six foot three 350 pounds You know she was very happy with him Um, I would say that you know if you're if you're going to date right now Just recognize that you know a lot of men are visual creatures They want slender women but a lot of men who are big gigantic eyes could care less about that The question is can you accept the guy? I'm not suggesting you're big and gigantic. Please forgive me I was thinking of john goodman for a moment. Can you accept someone? If you can't accept someone who is I'm using your term, uh You know Did you say a lot of weight? Then wait till you lose the weight If you can't accept someone who has a lot of weight then wait till you've lost the weight to date someone who doesn't have the weight That would just be my suggestion. Does that resonate with you? I hope so But if you can accept it great. Hey, I want to give deba some props. Thank you so much I want to give dw some props. Thank you so much. We just got 20 dollars. Our goal is we only have 30 more dollars to go To get to our goal of 50 dollars Thank you for the mug. I appreciate uh, love the mug. Thank you so much Ann says, oh my gosh Oh my gosh, johnathan my oldest boy passed 10 years ago at age 36 And I stumbled on a lick of his lick of his hair earlier this year And I still understand the flood of emotions. Oh, I'm sending you a big gigantic johnathan bear hug of love Folks, no parents should lose a child I appreciate your comment and I'm sending you lots of light and love Question what would your ideal wedding that you would like it to be? To be like and who would you like to perform your ceremony? Um You know, I've given some thought I I think um I would like to maybe have um My friend john viev possibly, um conduct the ceremony maybe even max who I conducted his ceremony. Um the venue I have a dear friend who lives on a vineyard. I would say that would be a great venue I'm sure she'd let me use it. Um, you know, but I'm not attached to anything You know, you know at this stage in my life. It's not about You know to me maybe Actually, you know what I was thinking this is the odd god's honest truth. I swear to god I had this thought it's just a thought by the way We humans have something like 12 to 60 000 thoughts a day This is just a thought by the way of those 12 to 60 000 thoughts humans have a day 90 of them are reoccurring thoughts Okay, but here's a thought I would like to go to vegas and get married by an elvis impersonator You know one of those elvis los vegas weddings for just the marriage ceremony for the certificate And throw a big gigantic party with friends. I honest to god had that thought As I know is ridiculous and maybe You know Stupid or silly or grotesque is that my sound I thought you know what? That's not something you're ever going to forget See I go to so many weddings that are generic It's the same thing over and over and over again. They're non memorable. So just like ross and rachel Maybe that might be the wedding that I have and then just throw a party sometime in the future Jane wants to go in and say How about dog parks or gyms or get lost by asking a question at a man's barbershop Again, if you have an attachment to it turning into a date, I wouldn't recommend that do that because that just Is part of your life Okay Jane says I get false eyelashes and heavy makeup too much looks scary. I agree Deborah goes on to say you can survive anything after losing your son. You are strong. Thank you so much. I appreciate that All right mermaid tails has a question My last relationship had mutual intense attraction and chemistry but we triggered The f out of each other. I'm healing but I know he'll do it again to someone else Okay, that isn't a question mermaid tail. Um, and I can't even know where you're going with this first off His journey is his journey Maybe in this lifetime he's meant to experience a bunch of stuff And then he comes back in his next lifetime and he experiences a bunch of stuff But maybe he makes a small change in his life and his next lifetime He has you know, another small change and then in the next lifetime after that The next time life after that maybe he starts to grow Also, if time is an illusion What if it's possible we go backward and forward and Sideways and coming back to willy wonka and the elevator upways and sideways and backwards. What if time is such a construct And there's multi universes out that that he just repeats the same life over and over and over With a shit just like in the movie groundhog day. What if life is like groundhog day? What if groundhog day was experiencing the same day? What if life is we come back and do it over exactly if the same parents But we get a small download A little download into the next experience. What if that's what this is all about? See the interesting thing about doing psychedelics plant-based medicine is you can explore a multitude of ideas see I think the richness in life is exploring bizarre multitude of ideas certainly when you can converse with friends on this stuff because you know Some people take life way too seriously What was that line in the batman the second batman with christian bail Where heat ledger played the joker and he said why so serious Now I recognize you might be saying well jonathan all your content seems serious Yeah, to some degree. I think being discerning and pragmatic is rather important But at the same time there is there's a duality to me There's a there's a little kid that likes to play and there's an adult running the show But even the adult that runs the show sometimes lets the kid run and play, you know, it's you know I invite everyone. I know I might sound like I'm going all over the place, but I'm here to say That going back to your original comment who cares what he does what matters most is what you do is where I was going with that Sorry, I went off on a tangent there Jane says high quality men are no subs are no Are no substance abusers pervert jail High quality men are kind and concerned and care I do believe character With is is something that is innate with a like when we when we assess what we consider High quality is so I would agree with that Jane wants to let you know Mermaid tales. No, don't worry about the other person Paltry flowers. How big of an age gap is too big? That's a personal thing That is a personal thing. I I can't tell you what to do. I know some I think Dennis Guaid is married to a woman 35 40 years younger than him Doesn't seem to bother him. Okay. That's his choice whether it works out or not I have some friends that are with men who are 20 years younger than them I know I have a female friend who's 75 and I think her husband just turned 55 Everybody has their own journey Jane comes back and says hey, is it best to have a list of what you're looking for In high quality man for each person good to find men in other cultures overseas I'm not a big proponent of long distance dating. So With that regard, I'm not a big fan of that with that said It's important to know your needs. What do you need out of a relationship? What are your needs? So that's and and and I would invite you to know your values. What's what's important for you in your values, um I would certainly want to know how your lifestyle is structured And so to recognize can you blend or can someone blend in with your lifestyle and more importantly? How to assess someone's emotional maturity again, this is what I teach in my private coaching. There's a link here There's a link below to get a scheduled discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you So it's not about a list. It's about understanding alignment Who you have a greater chance of success? I'm Listen, the uh the owner of e harmony wrote a book Two dates or less Neal clark warn he wrote two dates or less He talked about the five most important areas of compatibility and when you're aligned in these areas Your chances of relationship success increases tenfold. So I think it's important to know thyself But jonathan I'm just supposed to sit back in my feminine energy and let a guy claim me That's what all the other dating female energy dating coaches. Tell me what to do I'm here to say know yourself You don't need to lean back know yourself and then seek alignment See seek to be curious if you're aligned with another person. That's what I'm offering everyone to do All right mermaid tails wants to say sorry bumble fingers hit before finishing things I was thinking you said bumble as in the dating app bumble Jane comes back and says my sister married a guy from england And he started he stared at her at a restaurant came over and introduced they were married for 30 years Hey You know what there's always exception to the rule but long distance dating requires resources It requires the ability to be flexible. It requires time. It requires understanding of yourself You know, somebody moves into your home You know, it might be that you become their entire social directory that could put strain on a relationship I'm just giving you just one example of many things that you have to contemplate. There are financial components To long distance. Oh, I said that earlier. Okay resources. All right um Sydney Sina says hello, jonathan from sydney austral. I just want to say I enjoy your talks come visit us in sydney I would love to throw a workshop. I will if you can just Muster up the airfare. I'll do the rest Create a workshop and I'll be there Does anyone want to join the hot seat? Does anyone want to be live? I'll put a link to join the hot seat right now Um, you can join me live and have a chat with me. I'm putting that in the chat box right there um Susan wants to say jonathan, is it really the way wait? Is this the way we really sound? Folks, you know, I'm tongue-in-cheek, but yes But jonathan Oh Well, it looks like we have a bachelor group if we don't have any more questions We're going to be cutting out early. I just by the way, I wanted to address the Questions that came up that I was contradicting myself now that I shared I have put myself back on the dating apps another thing But I talked about with sabrina yesterday when I shot the video with sabrina rising is um readiness okay Readiness when a relationship ends, you know, I know I'm ready for partnership. I'm very clear I'm ready for partnership. So that readiness exists Am I ready to be vulnerable with someone? I'm very clear that I will not be vulnerable until there's trust built and since until there's a bit of trust built So I mean, you know, I I've dipped my toe in the water, but I might not go out on a date for three months for all I know Okay But getting into the energetic state of flow putting putting the letting the universe know that I'm I'm I am certainly Desirous of this. I think those are all good signs But I'm going to be incredibly selective on who I meet because my energy Is very valuable to me And I share my personal experiences as a mere invitation for you all to invite yourself to look at What matters most to me? What matters most to me many women focus always on the guy and I'm here to say focus on your own needs wants and desires So you can become a magnetic attractor for what you want Susan goes on to say I love it. You are seriously hilarious and very helpful You know, it's funny. I'm not in my day-to-day life. I'm not overly funny I I think my humor comes out here because Okay, so let me tell you something about psilocybin journeys psychedelic journeys I think magic mushrooms is also known as the laughing medicine Do you know what we I laugh at most? the absurdity Of human behavior, I think the reason why you appreciate me and why I'm so funny is I tend to poke fun at the absurd behavior of human beings I think I think it is so absurd how human beings operate in a fun loving absurdity I mean it in a fun loving absurdity. So I think what you most laugh at is I laugh at humans I laugh at myself Because I think we're silly people. That's all. Thank you Annabelle says jonathan or don't be too picky jonathan. You're older now so Where's the difference between being picky and being particular? I think I know myself to know who's probably aligned with who I am and probably someone who isn't aligned I think I have a capacity to recognize that because I've been indoctrinated in this work I've done Okay And so I'm aware of now is that being picky or being particular? Certainly, I think it's important to recognize that there's an elusive aspect to the related to Love as I said earlier. It's an intangible. So it starts with Do I like this person? Do I like this person? Do I think like we get along? We tend to like people who think the like who appreciate The things we like that just happens to be human nature. We tend to gravitate to what's familiar So that's not to suggest that I'm here to say that You know two people who are opposites can't get along and you shouldn't exclude an opposite But at the same time if you recognize that You know if somebody is the die-on-the-sword loves donald trump as an example Okay Is probably doesn't share the same value as someone who is so radically left that they would die on the sword of bernie sanders Does that mean being picky? I think there's going to be a lot of tension between the two of those So just be aware that it exists and be curious is kind of what I'm talking about the difference between being picky and being particular Uh debbie says she is fascinated by human behavior and gg goes on to say human beings are ridiculous clinically dysfunctional and self-centric folks, you know, you probably know my chart This is not a fact. It's merely an opinion Emotional maturity relationship skills. I truly believe this is not a fact. It's merely an opinion I think 20 of the population has true clinical issues. They need to be seen by a doctor And while I say maybe emotional maturity relationship skills and while I say 20 of the population is healthy I could be ridiculously generous with that most of us are dysfunctional and I'm in that category as well I just happen to be a grower builder. That's dysfunctional So everybody watching this is men and women alike are in those categories. Everybody thinks They're the different one. That's what the funny part. That's the funny part about humans. They all think they're the exception I call myself out. I'm the rule. I've got I am riddled with with Insecurities and foibles and peculiarities. I think that's what makes me fun But that's just me thinking out loud Um Let's see question from skeptical I've been in a relationship for 16 years. We'd live together. I knew he was weird But now I think it's bipolar possibly even schizophrenic. My needs are not being met. What should I do? Well, I think if you have asked for your needs In relationship and you've done them repeatedly and they're not being met Then you have to assess how important are those needs? It is quite possible. He might be bipolar. He might be schizophrenic He might be possibly As burgers. He might be on the spectrum See, I believe a lot of people aren't diagnosed. I think they're diagnosed I think there's a significant percentage of people on the spectrum We're all on the spectrum to some degree, right? And it's quite possible. You could be confusing that I know a lot of children who didn't get the proper Love and training and education and compassion and understanding that causes them to have a variety of different possible clinical diagnoses that could simply be under the guise of You know autism. I'm just speculating here. This is just a speculation Again, you have to ask for your needs and if they're not being met You have to ask yourself how important those needs are For you to stay in this relationship, but thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it Anna K says I go out on a lot of first dates with high quality men They always follow up after the date, but then I don't hear from them again I suppose if I supposed to reach out to them very confused folks. I'm a big proponent Okay, let me give you a quick story about a client. I worked with Woman came to me 63 years old said Jonathan I can't seem to get a second date to save my life I'm like really how many first dates have you had in the last few years? She said 50 of them 50 of them So, okay, I said interesting so I interviewed her and she had a date with a man coming up on like a on a On a Monday night She had a you know, she met him. She had what she thought was a nice date Tuesday rolled around he didn't call her Wednesday rolled around he didn't call her Thursday rolled around So I said on Friday. Why don't you send them an email saying hey Tim? I really appreciate our time together It turns out on Monday. I'm gonna be near your office around lunchtime. Do you have time to get together? And what happened next floored her She said he said, oh my god. I thought you didn't like me. I would love to meet you again See she gave out a vibe of disinterest She gave out a vibe of disinterest for 50 dates She gave out most likely gave out a vibe of disinterest and of those 50 previous dates Many of them might have asked her out again, but she didn't give she wasn't flirty She wasn't very um inviting Even though the men were interested in her they were physically interested in her and found her to be interesting She didn't give any clues of interest in wanting to see them again during the day So then now this guy didn't work out But the next that happened again another time and she asked him out ladies you have every You can simply ask a guy out on a date just to assess You know Where he really feels and by the way, do you know men love it when women initiate effort It makes our job so much easier. We don't have to second guess sometimes Just simply making the effort makes all the difference. Is this sinking in is this resonating. Please let me know I have an avert. I have to say your aversion to condiments is hilarious. Yes. I've said that before folks I am grossed out by I call it the four horsemen of the apocalypse catch up mayonnaise mustard and relish I am so grossed out of these these are the top four condiments I I'm fine with I'm not a big fan of hot sauce, but I like barbecue sauce Sometimes Dijon mustard, but very lightly, but I'm just grossed out. I think that's what makes me unique and special Uh, okay, let's keep going here D. W. Says. Hey everyone. I just coming in. Can you please consider donating to jonathan's foundation? We are 30 dollars away from the goal of 50. Yes, there's a little chap There's a little dollar sign the chap box. We'd love to collect some money for the connor hasley scholarship fund I'd like to donate some money this week. Um, so if you could Hit that and then post a question if you have it as well Gigi says we need to stop blaming our parents mine were tragic But I managed to get myself educated and was highly successful. They gave gave you life It's up to you what kind of life you make for yourself. Amen My folks fucked me up big time my mother had issues my father had issues Watching them was just by the way, not so dysfunctional uh That's certainly many of my negative patterns and limiting beliefs are a result of what happened in my childhood And I've done a lot of work particularly in the areas of love and forgiveness I've done the hoffman process by the way folks if you're not familiar with the work of the book The hoffman process. I invite you to do this The world famous technique that empowers you to forgive your past heal your present and transform your future When we can when we can absolutely forgive our not for it's not about absolving our parents of any blame Or let me reframe that it's not absolving our parents for any actions. They did but we can let go of the blame And that is true forgiveness and love is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know The primal says is it bad to break up when i'm 32? I'm scared and I won't find anyone and be childless Okay for those of us in the over 50 category that sees this 32 year old girl going Fuck I wish I was 32 years old again and could do it over and I've got women in this group that are 60 years old and 70 years old th primal You are in a perfect stage in your life to heal childhood wounds and traumas get crystal clear on who you are And and hold space for somebody who would be a good partner in your life. You're at a great age to do that And I certainly I have women in their 60s that would love to go back to their 30s and be in your space So no it is won't you uh, I'm you don't need to be scared about finding anyone or being childless I know people that have children at age 45 Or you can marry someone who has children as well All right, since we got a bashful group. I think this would be a great place to wrap up try Okay, coming back to what I shared earlier If it seems I contradict myself particularly when it comes to dating apps. Uh watch the beginning I'm here to simply say folks. Um, I'm simply here to say You know every spoke dating apps are just a spoke in the wheel to connect with people That's it just another spoke in the wheel to put yourself out there to let the universe know That you're inviting in love in your life and that's all I've done And while I still hold space for manifesting is a part of the process and going out and organically Connecting with people every spoke in the wheel is an opportunity to connect. Okay Oh debbie wants to ask a question. Okay. We'll save you debbie post your question and we'll save you for the Um last question of the day you have 10 seconds to post your question And I want to give erin props and thank you for the dollar nine nine cents super sticker Uh debbie, you know what I've got to run because I have a call to make in five minutes So folks I am gonna run uh big hugs to you all If you found value in this post a comment below I'd like to hear your thoughts if you found value in this please hit that like button Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos And I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic jonathan barack of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank debbie and susan and kathy and erin and uh primal and gg and dw and jane and sharon and annie and mermaid tails Annie k skeptical Everyone bit roller girl big hugs to you all. Thanks so much