 وأقول في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزاله وأقول قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوله الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلت والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصح به أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كما always you begin with the praise of Allah and by asking Allah to exalt the mention of grand peace to our messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions We're continuing with our discussion on Bir-Rawadain and this time we've moved on to the sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم We're going to start with the Hadith of Abi Huraira رضي الله عن أنه قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله من أحق الناس بحسني صحابتي in a narration بحسني الصحبة قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال أبوك متفق عليه in another narration أدناك ثم أدناك أدناك A man came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم And he said Who is the most deserving of the people of my excellent companionship صحابتي here means صحبتي My excellent companionship The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم The man said The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم replied The man said النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قلت لك ماذا ، النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قلت لك أبي و في مجال آخر يقول ، ثم أدنك أدنك ، ثم أقوى لك و أقوى لك بطريقة كيف أقوى لك هذا الحديث هو حديث فرماني كما يتعلق with بيرو الوالدين و يتعلق with حسنة صحبة و أقوى لك بطريقة كيف أقوى لك وهذا هو why if you look at the speech of the scholars here they don't extract from this that your mother has three times more right to obedience than your father and we talk about obedience later on obedience is a matter of difference among the scholars some of them took this hadith to relate to obedience as well some of them didn't but generally speaking it's not the topic of the hadith it isn't one of obedience it's one of excellence in companionship the way you behave around them and who is the most deserving of the people for you to strive for that إحسان in the way that you deal with them and the prophet Sallism said your mother and that's the first answer and then three times in total he answered your mother meaning that the mother has three times more right to excellence in companionship than the father now the question would be what would make this the case because Allah says generally in the Quran و بالوالدين إحسانة be good to both of your parents and there isn't really that distinction between the mother and the father until we come to this hadith so what makes the mother three times more deserving the علماء they say it is what the mother it has the unique things that she suffered for the sake of her child so first of all the pregnancy and then the labour and the birth and then the feeding and looking after of the child when they're very small these are the things some and there's a variation some of them said the labour and the birth and so on but generally speaking it's these things that only the mother can do only the mother will carry that child for nine months only the mother will have the pains of labour and childbirth and that's why or that's why some of the scholars they put that forward to say that is why the mother is three times more deserving of excellence إحسان in the way that you treat her and the way you are around her and again حسنة صحبة is the way we see the word صحبة being used as it relates to the relationship with the parents in صورة اللقمان وصاحبهم في الدنيا معروفة accompany them in the dunya so there is a صحبة there is a kind of companionship between the child and the parent وصاحبهم في الدنيا معروفة accompany them in this dunya in the best way there's a kind of companionship there's a kind of companionship there and again it deals with all of the different aspects so it can deal with how you speak to them how you behave towards them and if it's the case that the father is deserving of إحسان because الله said وابلوالي دييني إحسانة to both of your parents treat them with إحسان and الله عز وجل said إما يبلغن عندك الكبرة أحدوهما أو كيلاهما if one of them reaches old age or both of them i.e. the father or the mother and yet the mother is deserving is three times more than the father three times more than the father then what does that say about the way that you should treat your mother if the father is the one who is deserving of وابلوالي دييني إحسانة and the father is the one إما يبلغن عندك الكبرة أحدوهما أو كيلاهما if one of them reaches old age or both of them فلا تقول لهما أفد ولا تنهرهما وكلهما قولا كريمة then don't say of and don't repel them or push them away and say to them say to them the best and the most noble of words if that's the father's right and the mother has three times that right then what is the right of the mother how can we find the words to express the right of the mother in Islam then each person according to how close they are so here someone might say well what do we say about the siblings what do we have to say about other relatives the uncles and the cousins then the statement of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ما أدنك أدنك then the one who is the closest to you and then the next one who is closest to you and Islam didn't just give importance to being good to your parents there is also a huge threat of punishment and a severe warning for those who are not good to their parents أبو هوريرا narrated from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال راغم أنف ثم راغم أنف ثم راغم أنف من أدرك أبوي عند الكبرة أحدهما أو كيلاهما فلم يدخل الجنة رواه مسلم أبي هوريرا ناريت from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that he said راغم أنف راغم أنف it is for the nose of a person to be rubbed into dust for the nose to be to be covered or to be rubbed into dust and this is an expression of a disgrace of حوان and ذيلا that a person is disgraced and the person is lowered down and the word he is not necessarily though the nose here isn't just referring to the nose but it's the normal phrase of Arabic is to use one part to refer to the whole and the nose is is used in this expression راغم أنف that may his nose be rubbed into the dust and here it is the apparent wording is the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is making dua against this person three times may his face be rubbed in the dust may his nose be rubbed in the dust may his nose be rubbed in the dust I may he be disgraced may he be disgraced may he be disgraced the one who finds his parents at old age one of them or both of them and then that person doesn't enter جنة they don't take advantage of the opportunity to enter جنة through being good to their parents and looking after them when they're old that person is prevented from جنة and doesn't go to جنة despite having one of their parents or both of their parents reach old age this is an indication that that person is is a disobedient person towards their parents because they didn't enter جنة even though they had this huge باب من أبواب الجنة this huge gate from the gates of paradise and there are narrations which indicate that it is the middle of the gates of paradise that the parents are a huge are a huge gate from the gates of paradise for a person to enter into and if a person has a parent reaches old age and then they don't enter جنة what does that say about the way that they behave towards their parents and this is not the only حديث which contains a severe warning against disobeying the parents or against making the parents unhappy and we're going to come to more those later on we'll come now to a حديث of عبد الله بن عمر عبن العاصر رضي الله عنهما that he said أقبل رجل إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال أبايعك على الهجرة والجهات أبتاغي الأجرة من الله قال فهل من والديك أحد حي this man he came to the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and he said I would like to pledge my allegiance to you that I will perform a hijra and jihad and I want the reward from Allah the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said are any of your two parents still alive any of your parents still alive قال نعم he said yes rather both of them are still alive the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said فتبتاغي الأجرة من الله is it that you want the reward from Allah قال نعم he said yes the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said فرجع إلى والديك فأحسن صحبة in another wording ففيهما فجاهد the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said are one of your parents are your parents alive one of your parents are alive any of them he said yes both of them the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said is it that you want the reward from Allah the man said yes the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said go back to your parents and have good companionship with them and his صحبة like we talked about فأحسن صحبة have excellence in the way that you behave towards them in another narration ففيهما فجاهد go and make jihad for them i.e. go and strive to attain their pleasure strive not to upset them and work hard and from this there are two benefits that we want to take out or three the first thing that we want to take out is the importance of as we had mentioned earlier in the sense that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم preferred it over الجهد والهجرة he preferred it over the jihad and he preferred it over the hijra the second point that we want to take is the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم didn't ask if the parents are Muslim or non Muslim he didn't say are any of your parents alive then he didn't say are they is that parent Muslim ام كافر are they Muslim are they مسلماني ام كافراني are they two Muslims or two kafر and he didn't ask that question the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said if you want the reward from Allah go back and be good to them and as we said in his statement فا فيهما فا جاهد there is a Dalil and this is well a point that if I believe if this was the only point we mentioned in this episode it would be sufficient to be of a benefit إن شاء الله تعالى and that is that looking after your parents and being good to them is a jihad it is a jihad it's tough and remember the word jihad in its in its in its original meaning it means to strive and to give the utmost effort and it's used in that meaning sometimes for example الله عز وجل said وجاهدهم به جهادا كبيرة and make jihad against them with the Quran a great jihad but the point here is that in this حديث the prophets like I said described though looking after your parents as jihad ففيهما فجاهد go back and make jihad with those two parents and that سبحان الله shows you how difficult it can be it's not an easy right some people think that سبحان الله like for example some people look at the Salaf al-Saleh and we're going to talk about what they were in Bidr al-Wali Dayn شاء الله in a subsequent episode and they say that well you know like you know their parents were probably really good and you know they don't have to deal with what but ultimately dealing with your parents is hard and doing Bidr al-Wali Dayn is hard and preferring your parents over the things you want this man came he wanted to go and make jihad and he wanted to go for that he wanted to make hijrah and yet the prophet he wanted to go back and make jihad go back and make jihad with those two parents of yours so it's not an easy matter it requires determination and hard work to prefer them over your preferences it's not an easy thing it's not easy at all to give them preference over you to give them preference over your family members and again without you know excluding the rights of others but to give them preference over you is not an easy thing for a person especially in our time we know that we are living in a time of or qulq al-Wali Dayn and the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that from the signs of the hour and tell it al-amatu rabbata that the in the hadith of jibril صحيه مسلم that the slave girl will give birth to her mistress one of the strongest opinions the mother gives birth to a daughter who treats her mother like a slave and that it refers to qulq al-Wali Dayn being bad to your parents and we're living in that time we're living in that time maybe the time will get worse but we're living in a time where it is it's from the very rare things that you see somebody who does qulq al-Wali Dayn in the sense that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم described it as an easy thing for a person to do it requires great great difficulty for you to really fulfill qulq al-Wali Dayn and that's why you know that على إن سلعة الله غالية على إن سلعة الله الجنة that the the thing that Allah is selling to you is جنة and it's expensive جنة is not an easy thing to get that you just get the most valuable thing the thing that Allah is selling to you is غالية it's valuable and it's valuable and it means it's not cheap it doesn't come cheaply and if the parents are one of the major gates from the gates of paradise then ultimately you have to realize that it requires some work to get to that level we know that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that no one who is disobedient to their parents will enter جنة no one who is disobedient to their parents will enter جنة or قوك as we talked about in the first episode the definition is the opposite of البر so anyone who falls short in their بر towards their parents in their أحسان towards their parents this is عق this is a person who is disobedient to their parents and the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said they will not enter جنة i.e. they will not enter جنة with the people who enter it دخولاً أولياً i.e. they enter into it in the first instance rather they will receive a punishment that will prevent them from entering جنة with the people who enter جنة immediately and as for them remaining in the fire forever then no Muslim who is a person of توحيد and who brings the minimum requirements to remain a Muslim they will not remain in the fire forever so when the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that they will not enter جنة ever but what he means is that they will not enter جنة when the people enter جنة and they will be held back in punishment والعياذ بالله and we seek Allah's refuge from that because they were bad to their parents and a person might ask well what about the disbeliever how do we what about if our parents are not a Muslim and we know that Allah is the tallest in صور القمان وإن جاه داكة على أن تشرك بما ليس لك به علم وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفة وإن they compel you to make a partner with me and that which you have no knowledge of do not obey them and accompany them وصاحبهما we have companionship with them معروفة in a good way and this is further explained in the hadith of أسمى بنت أبي بكر صديق رضي الله عنهما أنها قالت قادمة علي أمي وهي مشركة she said my mother came to me she came she came to to visit me and she was a مشركة she was an idol worshiper في أحتي رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم during the time of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستفتيته رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم she said I asked the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم what should I do قلت قادمة علي أمي وهي الراغبة and my mother has come to me and she is راغبة in some of the narrations it mentions راغمة and she's she's obstinate against becoming Muslim but راغبة this is the majority of the narrations and Allah knows best that she desires from me something she wants something from me and in other words she wants صلى she wants a good companionship she wants me to do the things that a daughter should do for her mother she wants me to look after her take care of her she wants me to give her or to spend on her she wants me to speak nicely to her and it's narrated in this that Asma kept her mother waiting she didn't let her mother come in out of a fear that she would be from those people who made who had a companionship with the non-Muslims that's all she was so scared that she didn't want to be from the people that showed close allegiance to the to the non-Muslims and the ayat which came regarding that so she kept her mother she didn't accept her mother's wish for her mother to for her to sort of behave with her like a daughter to a mother until she went to the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم she said my mother has come and she is she wants me to she is not a Muslim she is a polytheist and she wants me to look after her or she wants me to keep ties with her أثى أصيل أمي should I keep ties with my mother قال نعم صلي أمك the prophet saasim said yes keep the ties with your mother he said yes keep the ties with your mother and Subhanallah that was in a situation where her mother was in some of the narrations it mentions that her mother was firm upon her shirk upon making a partner with Allah was stern upon it but still wanted the rights of the mother and she said should I give my mother those rights should I look after should I keep the ties with my mother أثى أصيل أمي قال نعم صلي أمك he said yes keep those ties with with your mother now some of them asked a question about أسماء being the sister of عائشة رضي الله عنه how did that work because أسماء she went to عائشة and she told عائشة to ask the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم about the question and she asked عائشة to find the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم so she could ask the question here we have to understand that أسماء she was the half sister of عائشة the mother was different but the father was the same أسماء her father was أبو بكر and عائشة her father was أبو بكر they were half sisters and that's why this hadith here that her mother came when she was when she was a mother of عائشة accepted Islam before that رضي الله عنها وأرضها ورضي الله عنهم أجمعين so the next topic that we have to deal with is the topic of obedience to the parent and this is quite a big topic and it has many different aspects to it so I'm going to actually stop the episode here إن شاء الله و تعالى we'll resume next time where we'll talk about طاعة الوالدين and we talked about the fact that the word بر in linguistically refers to الطاعة refers to obedience so there's no doubt obedience to the parent is a major major part of بر الوالدين but here we need to understand where are the limits and what happens when they ask us to do things that for example might be harmful to us or things that might be haram or things that might not be haram but might be difficult for us to do where are the limits and where do we draw the line and where do we understand the guidance of Islam as it relates to obedience to our parents that's coming up in the next episode and Allah is the best والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله و صحبه أجمعي السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com