 I seem to be at the age where all of my friends are freaking out, they hit 30 and they realize oh I have this whole life ahead of me, this marriage, this relationship, this next thing and it's not happening or it hasn't happened yet and I know that it is going to be the thing that completes me, that fulfills me, that takes my life to the next level and along with it removes all of the anxieties, all the stressors will go away, all the problems in my life will vaporize, everything will be clear from here on out, well unfortunately finding the one and thinking it will solve all your problems is a lie, you know we think that finding the one is going to be the thing in our life that completes us, that takes away all the pain and all the problems, all the issues and all the meaninglessness of the daily rituals and work and routine, but the problem is that the one is silver bullet thinking, we like to think that there's just one plan, there's just one diet, there's just one workout I need to find and once I find it I will get the results I want because it is out there waiting for me and I need to look and so what do we do? We just look and we look and we look and we look and it's not one thing, we assume the same is true in our careers and in business that I learned that one tactic, I hired that one coach, I learned this one strategy and my business or my financial life will explode, it will change forever and there won't ever be any problems anymore or we think of course if I find that girl or I find that guy then you know what all the things that have annoyed me about my life, all the problems, all the unhappiness, all the stress, it will go away, but success whether it's business or relationships is not built from one thing, it's never built from one thing, was it that last rep or that last set that helped you lose 30 pounds or was it the last thousand over the last three years? Was it that last book you read about your business or book you read on financial advice or debt repayment that helped you pay off your debt and put aside money for retirement or was it putting away that $100 a month for 20 years that did that? The one can't possibly make you feel complete or happy or remove and fill the void because the one is not just one thing, the one is a thousand things that have been built up over years and years and years. The one will not fix the anxieties within you, you know I was dating this extremely beautiful girl, the kind of beauty that every guy when you walk by will look at. We would go to the market and multiple guys would approach her, everywhere we went people stared at her and yet no matter how beautiful I told her she was consistently and I meant it she never acted like it made any difference because of the way that she saw herself. Finding the one is not going to fill whatever void in the way you see yourself. The one will not solve your issues in life if you hate your job and you dread that 8am or that 7am or that 6am alarm clock and you think that when you meet the one you will love your work and everything will be rainbows and unicorns and skittles raining from the heavens, you're wrong because you may be in love, you may find that person but at the end of the day you still have to show up and do that 9 or 10 hours in a job you hate or a job you're not jazzed up about so if you think finding the one will fill your work void then you're wrong. So it's easy to think that finding this person or this thing or this book is going to fill what's not full and remove the things we don't like, the anxieties, the depressions, the neuroses, the existential crises but what if instead you spent your time working on building your own fundamental character if you spent as much time working on yourself as you did finding the one, whatever or whoever the one may be.