 Hello there, my beautiful internet friends. Welcome back to my channel. Thank you so much for joining me here today. If you find yourself wondering, dear God, what is that incredible pillow sitting next to Joe and where can I find it? The answer is it's Nicholas Cage trying to seduce you and amazon.com. Yes, yes, I have posted the link in the description. You should totally get one. So the other day, I was aimlessly scrolling through YouTube, minding my own business when a video came up recommended from Molly Burke. If you don't know, Molly Burke is a fantastic YouTuber. She's blind, she talks a lot about blindness and disability and all different sorts of things that highly recommend checking out her channel. And in this video, she was gonna talk about being differently abled. That term, differently abled. And when I saw it pop up, I had to click on it because I was really interested to hear her thoughts because I've always had a certain feeling about that term and I was just kind of interested to see if she felt the same way. As we dive into this video today, if you wanna give it a thumbs up and or subscribe down below, that would make me very happy and would also help my channel. But without further ado, let's talk about being differently abled. So if you don't know, I am a person with a disability. I am a bologna amputee. I also deal with chronic pain and chronic illness. And ever since especially I became disabled in a visual sense as in someone could see that I was disabled, I've wondered about this term. A lot of people don't wanna call me disabled, don't wanna say I'm disabled, don't wanna like admit that or think maybe I'm not aware of it. I've wondered if it's okay to use the term disabled, disability. Like is that a bad thing? Is that am I referring to myself in somehow an offensive way? Like I'm still learning the language of my own people. But like any of us, I do have some natural thoughts and feelings on that word and I've never had an issue with it. I didn't like the word handicapped once I learned the definition because I'll read it to you. It means a circumstance that makes progress or success difficult. I don't think that having a disability makes success in general difficult. I think it just changes what that might look like or how you get there. Disabled or disability on the other hand means a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses or activities. I very much qualify for that. But differently abled is a term that I've heard in, how shall we say this? Especially woke circles. I've heard a few Ted talks about it that didn't go over super well with what I felt. But then I just wondered if like I'm ignorant and that's what I should be saying. Which is a funny thing to say about yourself. Like this is something that I am and I'm still like, I don't know how I should talk about it. I don't know how I should phrase it. So I watched Molly's video about her thoughts and feelings about the term differently abled and I was like, that's it. That's why I can't stand that term or any of the offshoot terms that have developed because of it. At the root of it, I think saying that someone's differently abled comes back to a discomfort with disability or someone being different. Cause you're not disabled. You're just differently abled. You still have abilities. They're just, you know, I feel like it's trying to put a blanket on top of an elephant that's very clearly standing in a room. Like you're not fooling anyone. You're not covering anything up. Reason differently abled bothers me more than handicapped is because the people who say it, usually say it because they think they're like woke. They think they're being progressive. They think that they're being like inclusive. They think they're being supportive. And in reality, I think it's the very opposite. The term differently abled to me is a term people use when they're uncomfortable about disability. So blindness, the B word as I call it. A lot of people are uncomfortable calling me blind. It's like they think I don't already know. Like they'll be like, Molly is visually impaired. She can't see as well as everybody else. And I'm like, no, no, I'm blind. I'm just blind. Though society as a whole has come a far away on how it views people with disabilities. I do think we still have some work to do. I remember when I first injured my ankle and when I got to a point that I knew that this was going to be an issue for the rest of my life. Someone very close to me told me, don't you ever think of yourself as disabled. Don't ever think of yourself that way. And it always sort of stuck with me because I was like, is being disabled a bad thing then? Is that like something I should strive not to be? Or like actively reject, even if I technically fit within that label? And for the record, I understand where they were coming from. Like they didn't want me to feel different or like outcast or like I couldn't do things that I really wanted to do just because of this thing in my life. But the message that I got is that being disabled is a bad thing, but it's not. Being disabled in and of itself is simply a fact. Yes, I have a condition that physically limits me from certain things. I am different in that regard. Disability is not bad. Being disabled is not a negative thing, but I think we put this negative connotation on it by trying to tiptoe around it and call it different things, happier things. I must feel like it's like differently abled feels very much like too many stickers and glue and fancy bright colors and sparkles on top of something that really doesn't need that. It's like they're just really uncomfortable about disability, but they're actually trying to make it seem like they're super comfortable with it. They're so progressive. They're so about equality that they view everybody as equal. We're not disabled. We're simply differently abled. A point that Molly brought up is that she doesn't mind if someone uses the term handicap because they're probably just ignorant of the definition and its history, but using differently abled is a little different because it's not a common term. It means that someone is thinking about someone's woke. I hate that term. I don't even know what it's supposed to mean now, but I do think to some extent that that is true. So I'm not sitting here thinking that I can speak for people with disabilities or disabled people at large, but I can tell you in my own personal experience, I'm very aware of the fact that I have limitations and restrictions that you may not if you have two perfectly good working legs. I'm very aware of the fact that I'm missing a part of my leg. You don't need to tiptoe around that. I was talking to a friend the other day and they asked me if people treat me differently now that I am like an amputee. It's very clear. I'm missing a part of my body, but you know, it's just a fact. And I thought about it for a while and I realized that my answer was mostly no. I think people still treat me like a person. People still have conversations with me. However, one thing I have noticed is that people I don't know, I'll see them like glancing to my leg and then looking back at me, you know, for having a conversation. Cause they like don't, they don't wanna be thinking about the fact that I'm missing leg, but they actually do have some thoughts and feelings and questions about it. But they're not, they don't actually see me as different. So they're gonna keep on talking to me like I'm a normal person, even though they really wanna know about that thing cause it's different. And yes, I am a normal person, but I have a disability. For me personally, I'm a big fan of calling a spade a spade. When something is what it is, let's call it out as that, let's name it and then we can talk about it. Thinking about it now, I honestly think I have some unconscious disdain or discomfort with disability, that term, that reality. I've been taught by very caring people in society at large that that is something to be hidden, that it's not something that should be talked about. It's not really something that should be called out or talked about, that everyone's the same, even though we're not. My experience as a person with disability is unique to me. I wanna claim that. I'm going to own that because it's the truth. Sincerely, the last thing I need is someone trying to make me feel better about my situation because I feel just fine about it and in moments when I don't, I deal with it and then I move on. Thinking back to that experience I had growing up, being told to never think of myself as disabled, I realized that people's intentions in calling people differently abled are probably good, but I also think that they stem from discomfort. We are uncomfortable around people who are different than we are, generally speaking. Usually it takes some work and education to get actually comfortable around people who are not the same as you are. Disability in general is something that people have a lot of questions about, that people are unsure of, that I even don't know all the guidelines of what to say and what not to say, but I can tell you from my own experience, being a person with a disability, that calling me disabled is not a slur, it's not a bad thing, it's simply the truth, but trying to soften reality by just saying, you know, you have different abilities than I do, we're all the same, is at best not helpful and at worst kind of insulting. Like Molly brought up in her video that people will be like, yeah, you're missing your eyesight, but look at all the other things you've ganged because of it, you know, you can see with your heart more, which is just, oh God, I know that people say that, but it's very cringe-worthy. Some people, generally people who do not know me very well, have said similar things to me, but my reality, and again, just speaking for me, my reality is that there are some things that I can't do. There are many things that I am going to modify and do very differently than the normal person to be able to get by. That I am blind, I cannot see, and with that comes a whole host of challenges. And when you try to take away disability and replace it with differently-abled, what you're doing is taking away all the challenges that I and my community continue to face because of the lack of accessibility, because of the lack of true inclusion, because we stop having the conversation about the problems when we start having this conversation of differently-abled. My life experience is not gonna be the same as someone who has two perfectly functioning meat legs. Within that statement, there can be grief, there can be gratefulness, there can be all different kinds of things, but it is simply the truth. So if you've ever wondered what you should call people who are different than you, who are disabled, who are dealing with disabilities, I can share my own personal opinion and say that being disabled is not a bad thing. It's just a fact, and that fact doesn't need to be sugar-coated. Using the word handicapped is not my favorite because it suggests that I cannot get as far in life or cannot achieve success because of this thing, which is not at all true. And I would say at the very bottom of my ranking list of words to talk about what I am is differently-abled. Like I said, I think it comes across as well-intended, but how it is received is treating me like I'm a child who needs to be handled with care because maybe I don't know what's really different about me. I'm really grateful to Molly for making that video because she helped me realize why I feel the way I do. How we talk about things is really important. The words and terms that we use matter a lot, and I think it's important to understand, and I think it is vital that we listen to people who are members of groups of people that are not us about how they want to be referred to, how they want to be talked about, how they want to be interacted with when it comes to that thing. So that's my opinion on the matter, but what about yours? Have you ever used the term differently-abled? Does it mean something different to you? If you're a person with a disability, do you not like being called disabled? I think everyone has different thoughts and feelings on this, and I would love to hear yours down below. Also, I do want to note that I think the vast majority of people who talk about disability as anything other than that are very well-intended. Calling someone differently-abled is probably in its core trying to make them feel better. It's just that it's not necessary. So if you've ever said anything like this, please know that I'm not talking badly about you or suggesting you did a bad thing. I think there's a lot of education that's lacking out there when it comes to many different things, disability being one of them, and all any of us can do is learn and grow. A huge thank you goes out to all of my patrons over on Patreon. You guys sincerely keep this channel going. I can thank you more than I can ever say. I appreciate you being members of that community and to you watching this video right now, thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day to hang out with me and learn about disability and disabled versus differently-abled versus handicapped, it means the world to me. You could be anywhere in the world doing anything and you chose to chill with me for a few minutes, so thank you. I love you guys. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video. Bye, guys. And her from the sky all about...