 What's up y'all? So by now you've probably either seen or heard about this viral clip of Jonathan Owens and Simone Biles. They are recent newlyweds and they went viral from their appearance on the Pivot podcast which I recommend you guys actually go watch. Today I want to talk about how the public discourse that I've seen since this went viral is disappointing. I think men are missing the point. I think women are missing the point. I'm hoping that some of these viral moments in pop culture events are good teaching tools for our community in particular. I'm going to play the clip and I want women to pay attention to when he says he didn't want a relationship. And I also want men to pay attention to her demeanor and also the picture in the corner as it illustrates her affinity for him. Let me see what this is. Gymnastics, I ain't never, I never really paid attention to gymnastics so it piqued my curiosity. So I'm like okay, that's this. I swiped her and it said we matched. So I'm just like okay, so I'm gonna see what's up. So I go do my workout and I come back and I get like I have some likes on my Instagram you know and I'm like, I'm like aw this might be it. I'm like okay. I'm gonna wait till I you know take a shower and everything. Then I come back to my phone and then she messes me on the app like hey, you know what I mean? I'm man that's a man. It's got to be fake. Like I don't know just I didn't know who she was at the time but like the first thing that I saw was that she just had a bunch of followers. So in my mind I'm like okay, she got to be good if I promise you I'm a real life story. When she won the Olympics I was in college and we didn't have NBC. We didn't have Olympic channels and we're in camp. We're in camp late late late July early August so I'm not paying attention to you know so I never would have had a moment to where I would have watched like John Thomas let you finish your story man continue. But like I was saying man she she messes me this is like a Tuesday and we we we were texting back and forth and then we hung out Friday man. We couldn't do much as over happened. Everything was shut down so she came through down down the Houston. She lived in the suburb so she had to drive about 45 minutes to me then the rest is history man. So you was really to catch I always say we demand a catch man I always say we the catch man. Yeah so she really booked you. She did though. Is what you said because I was fighting it. I was fighting it. So you so in truth if I say this out loud was Jonathan Owens ain't really want some mobile is what you're saying. At the time that's what you're not gonna say that. That's what you're saying. I was afraid I was afraid to commit. I'm like ah man it's my it's my third year you know I'm trying to I'm like it's kind of early but you know like I said man it happened we least expected and we hung out man it was like we hit it off instantly you know we just laughed the whole night. So basically people are losing their minds because at the end of the clip he alluded to being the catch and he believes that men are the catch and I know you know in social media world right now the debate is who is the price. I don't necessarily think it means the same thing but they are related but from the perspective of a catch I think a fish you're fishing and you want to catch fish. Guess what fish don't want to be caught. Fish enjoy the water they don't enjoy your boat and when I alluded to men loving more authentically than women in the recently viral clip on Instagram that's part of what I was talking about men do not idealize or fantasize about love and relationship we value and prioritize our independence we value and prioritize our mission and with that being said we're also not raised on fairy tales the way women are so men most men especially men with options men with an abundance mindset are not super enthusiastic about locking it down and retiring especially early in their life. So when the brother said he just moved to Houston he was focused on his football career he wasn't trying to be in a relationship with anybody I think what women miss is that it doesn't matter if you're Simone Biles but the lesson should be what was she able to do to change his mind how was she able to impact this brother so much that he reluctantly gave up his independence and his aspirations as a man to be the captain of his own ship and have options and to hold on and enjoy being a single handsome athlete what did she do and I think this is part of what's missed on women when we see clips like this because a lot of women unfortunately think that just being is enough and like I've said before queens don't make kings the recently deceased queen of uh England her husband's name wasn't king her husband's name was prince and I know there's some one-off tribes in Africa where women are the decision makers but on the macro men are the decision makers particularly when you consider our roots especially as black folks in polygamy and also biologically speaking like there's more of an incentive for women to seek out the best possible man to procreate with and there's more of an incentive for a man to seek out an abundance of women to procreate with and that informs some of the ways that we move and we have to be honest about that so when we see young men who are not enthusiastic about locking it down and getting into a relationship very often those young men are the desirable ones and when we see young women who are super enthusiastic about locking down a man it's rooted in biology so it doesn't make him a bad dude but what we should study is what did she do and guess what it wasn't it wasn't gymnastics it wasn't Olympic gold medals it wasn't her instagram following it wasn't her bank account because men men who are worth their weight and gold do not give two shits about any of that stuff those things could be additional factors that could boost you over another woman but at the core it's some of the intangibles because guess what your money is your money that's how society operates and my money is our money how much money is in your guys bank account i got like 12 like 70k yeah 70k what you mean 70k what do you mean my dad gave it to me you made me pay for all this shit and you got 70k where my boyfriend why wouldn't you pay for my things well i mean if you got 70k i mean you should be paying for yeah but usually guys supposed to pay for the things this is a serious problem like i'm not even kidding i paid for dinner what are you getting mad at me for that was 400 dollars you're supposed to pay for my shit but you got 70k you're my boyfriend you're supposed to pay for my shit yo dude this is actually it's not my fault you're broke how is that my fault we're done then what do you mean we're done we're done then if you're gonna you met me then leave in the clip he alluded to not only swiping on him and messaging him first but also driving 45 minutes to come see him at that time when the 2020 stuff was happening and essentially she was the one who shot her shot even though she was Simone Biles Olympian the message for brothers is and i've talked about this during my her him case study if you are her him whatever she's identified a him to be you won't have to be the one showing asymmetrical effort sometimes she'll be the one showing asymmetrical effort instead of focusing on everything that you can do to buy a woman's affection and then getting mad and but hurt that she didn't reciprocate in the manner that you saw fit based on what you spent or what you did instead of that focus on being the caliber of man that she wants to make efforts to get obviously some guys are genetically gifted and they don't have to work as hard like this brother good looking brother but in other cases it's about what's your mission what's your purpose and guess what when you have a mission and a purpose and you're working towards it diligently women will gravitate towards wanting to help you help meet your goals but often if you're stuck in this cycle of buying women's affection subconsciously you're saying that women's affection is a commodity that can be bought sold and traded and whether they can articulate that they feel it they're going to go with the guy where it's more organic I just want to do for him because very often in these spaces we just complain about what women are not how women are the spawn of satan but we don't actually consider the ways that we participate in that and this whole thing reminds me of a couple years ago when Toby Nuigue and his wife Fat I think at the time they were still dating and they were doing the twisted up series where she twists his hair and he raps but on this particular episode they were talking about how they met and it was a similar situation Toby didn't want fat but guess what now they're married with a couple of kids but ladies instead of focusing on what did she do to earn this man's reluctant affection you're focused on how dare he not want her and men will disgrace you and men will make you look stupid in the whole night guess what the caliber of man that most women want he is a LeBron James equivalent and guess what LeBron James didn't do when he was 20 he didn't retire and the unfortunate reality is most women are not in the mindset or do not have the disposition or the skill set to inspire a man to lock it down with you because you feel entitled to it you feel like because you have a vagina and you cook and you clean and you do all the things on paper that you were told makes you a good woman and sometimes you don't do any of those things but you just think inherently you're a good woman because of movies and music in the whole nine that you can't fathom why he doesn't want you guess what number one you might not actually be a good woman and number two you might not be good enough to inspire this caliber of man to want to lock it down so instead of complaining about what he said or what he didn't say start studying study Simone Biles and not her achievements study Savannah James and not her achievements study fat new egue and not her achievements study Kerry Washington and not her achievements because it's a similar situation Kerry Washington well known actress she's married to my Nigerian brother my brother Namdi who is now ironically doing his Hollywood thing but similar situation and I feel athlete and superstar but simply just being upset because men are imperating what you want to hear it gets you nowhere ladies I see a lot of y'all mad at Simone Biles um fiance or I don't know what he is for saying that basically he the prize in a relationship I don't know why I'm mad at him he just telling the truth they did that interview and he basically told us a story about how Simone Biles chased him so yeah he is the prize we want men to be so masculine and this and that and we are you know talk bad about men being sassy and feminine well yeah when they were the ones getting axed out on dates why if I was a man getting axed out on a date I would ask for flowers too I don't want her to open my car door too because I'm her girlfriend now y'all make these men y'all y'all girlfriends and then y'all surprise when they be active feminine and sassy like they're the prize they are the prize you ask them out sis you chased him I mean what did you expect you expected for him to act all masculine after you already took that away from him like this is why I never tell women to chase no man like you should never be proposing to no man you should never be approaching no man people ask me all the time like you never approached a guy no I never have a day in my life a day in my life I would never approach no man and ask him out on a date why would I do that and get him the automatic upper hand no of course he's surprised I just gave him the power and like the whole dynamic like why would he chase me after I just chased him like what like come on now so let's dive deeper another thing that stood out to a lot of people is the fact that he said he didn't know who she was and obviously our reflex is to not believe black men ironically hashtag believe black women but when black men say stuff he's either lying or he's just daft but I think the people who are triggered by this are actually the ones who might be daft because what you didn't account for is the fact that this brother is an NFL athlete you didn't account for the amount of time and dedication from childhood that it takes to be that one of one percent who makes it to the NFL you didn't account for how myopic you have to be to be a man in general but to be an athlete in particular you didn't account for the fact that he's from Missouri and kind of like I alluded to in the uh no Riz case study that I did about Zion Williamson a lot of high-level athletes they grow up in a bubble and in that case I was talking about the fact that they don't have Riz and to reiterate part of the reason athletes don't really have the type of Riz that we think they do is number one some of them are genetically gifted so they don't have to spit game women just flock to them if you're six five you have a jawline and you're well known in the community women will just come to you you don't have to talk you don't have to say anything so you never actually have to develop the ability to game or seduce women because you do it just by existing but the other reason is between practice after practice two or days au summer workouts spring workouts camp you're not really outside like that so the opportunity for you to pay attention and learn pick up and game and all that stuff usually isn't there so that's how you see the Zion Williamson's of the world impregnate questionable women and mess with adult film stars and different things like that because the reality is a lot of athletes are corny let's be honest but they don't have to be anything else so when he said he didn't know who she was he was being honest and the reality is I mean even if men are watching the Olympics most men unless you know you are just an eclectic kind of guy you're not watching gymnastics you might watch team USA play play basketball you might watch the track and field but you're not watching gymnastics and especially I mean he's a younger millennial slash older Gen Z so between football and interest video games different things that dudes are actually interested in yeah he probably doesn't know who Simone Bowes is and fellas the lesson for you here is that's probably why he was so successful with her other than you know the fact that she found him physically attractive but can you imagine being Simone Bowes and everybody now is trying to suck your dick because you have gold and you're successful and then this guy comes along who could give a crap about who you are because he doesn't know who you are so to him you're just another girl I imagine that's refreshing from the perspective of Simone Bowes I imagine he provided her the opportunity to be a person in a way that she might not have had for a long time and the way that men drop the ball very often with women especially women who are beautiful or successful whatever the case may be you're just another fan my boy and she will treat you and accord you as such even if she's a great person and a great woman unfortunately you just zoned yourself pass the friend zone into the fan zone so pay attention brothers now ladies again I've been talking a lot about this passport bro phenomenon and I've been warning against it because a lot of women are dismissive and saying that it's men who are ugly and they don't have any game and they can't get women in America so that's why they're going overseas the reality is something very different and perhaps there's something to be learned from Simone Bowes Simone Bowes understands that she is not outside of her accomplishments she is not aesthetically the woman of a black man's dreams she is not blessed in the front in the back but she has to compensate for that and oftentimes fellas and ladies you find that the women who are getting chose aren't the women that you might assume you're a super fine friend who has double d's and the roundest softest but she's still single and the frumpy fuggly girl she's married or she's engaged why is that I saw one video a while back a woman was wondering why do men wife up the plain janes let's actually explore that instead of asking those questions dismissively without actually wanting the answer the answer is because those plain janes as you call them are exceptional in ways that might not be immediately apparent those plain janes complement a man in his mission in ways that a woman who's used to being the center of attention and the star of the show might not be in practice doing so guess what those super attractive IG women they get used up they get smashed and dashed and when a man is ready to settle down and build legacy the woman that he chooses might not be the one who's the most physically appealing but she has attributes and she helps meet the mission of his life in ways that you might not know I've got a couple of friends of mine who have lived overseas or currently live overseas and what they say is that the level of humility of women in general and attractive women in particular is night and day compared to the United States they say that a woman who would be considered an eight in the United States is a six in the country great example ruby rose who's been going viral recently because of her only fans tricks she's Ethiopian go to Ethiopia what you'll discover is that ruby rose in her country of origin is not a standout so from an aesthetic standpoint this idea that American women are the most competitive it's simply not true and when you compound that with the disposition aspect the agreeableness the niceness the cordialness the non-entitledness you quickly realize that unfortunately the future that we're heading into is not one where more American women and unfortunately women in our community get wiped what my friends are telling me is that not only are these women objectively more attractive on average they're also more humble on average because of the environment and it's not because they're illiterate some of those women speak five languages so this narcissistic arrogance that we're hearing from women or y'all going over there and getting prostitutes it's simply not true some of these women are far more educated than you some of these women are multilingual and anybody who studied neurology understands that your brain works a whole lot harder when it's able to speak multiple languages but in a lot of those countries as well the attitudes towards next work a little bit different so these women also understand that you not only have access to other attractive women but you have access to sometimes more attractive workers of that trade so there's a humility there I can't leverage my vagina like I would be able to in the United States I can't leverage my arrogance like I would be able to in the United States so guess what I have to meet you in good faith and I have to make sure that your experience with me is better than any other woman that you're going to come across that's not the mindset of women in this country and we have to be honest about it if we plan on fixing it because simply just yelling at men and saying that you need to stay in your country it's it's not sustainable guess what these boys in middle school and high school are coming back and reporting to their parents that black girls are just mean and that's when they like you so ladies especially mothers of sons have you ever wondered why your son doesn't date a girl who looks anything like you and I know sometimes you are comfortable with just assuming colorism and texturism but have you ever considered that it's something more have you ever considered that he may not see any black female representation of femininity you're in your masculine energy the girls at a school are in their masculine energy so guess what when Sarah or Elizabeth smiles at him because that's the white woman disposition he's going that way and we have to start being honest about that now fellas Psychex talked about the admired versus the admirer and simply put he believes and I tend to agree with this women do not want to be the admired they want to be the admirer he said that if you're looking up to a woman it kind of means she's looking down to you and the privilege is actually being the admirer you get to live your own rom-com you get to live your own fantasy the person who is on the pedestal does not and oftentimes men in friend zones men who struggle with women that's the mistake that they make is they prematurely pedestalize women in a way that men who women actually gravitate to don't she gets to be in love with him she doesn't get to be in love with you because you're so in love with her please don't let that go over your head about a month ago I can't see his mom when he's so blue and I asked him what you asked him I asked him when he gave him to me I saw a quote recently that said women negotiate like the British during colonialism and I thought it was hilarious but I think some of these things we're seeing are kind of a crescendo moment it signals the fact that women in some ways have abused their power and the consequences men who are less traditional the consequences men who are less willing to pay the cost less willing to take you on 300 dates less willing to court you and all that good stuff because the entire time that wasn't actually what won you over and men have observed this and on top of that even if that is what won you over that doesn't mean we get your cooperation that doesn't mean we get peace so a lot of men and young boys are saying what's the point so ladies um we can continue to minimize this conversation of toxic masculinity but if we actually want to make progress we have to acknowledge the fact that women knowingly or unknowingly participate in perpetuating this masculinity that now you want to complain about the future is kind of bleak men have no reason to be shivers anymore men are realizing that going the traditional route of being the person who is pursuing perpetually is not how you win men are starting to realize that you have to become him and she'll pursue you even if she's Simone Biles and we're gonna have to deal with that future because really it's it's no different than the past it's just more obvious so my message is instead of being triggered when you see clips like this actually engage in critical thought and critical analysis as a man and as a woman and notice in the clip she didn't interrupt them she looked at him even though in some way you could make the argument he was embarrassing her she looked at him with admiration she had the I am so lucky to have him look in her eyes and I believe every man deserves to feel that at least once in your life and you can't fake that and it's not something you learn it comes naturally again even if you're a Olympian all-time great Olympian Simone Biles dating a football player who is relatively unknown please subscribe like this video share it with people that you care about and also head over to patreon and consider becoming a member there'll be exclusive content dropped there and I'm actually going to be paying more effort and attention to creating content for my family over there patreon thank y'all for watching y'all be safe peace