 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening, refresh yourself Have a Coke and now Claudia Well, here you are Hello, dear When did you get in? I didn't hear you just now. I didn't know you were home. Oh, I just got in too Why are you hiding in the bedroom? Aren't you glad to see me? Of course. I am delighted. Why I don't know You just don't seem to be nonsense just to prove to you how glad I am here That's not very glad. That's wishy-washy glad Oh That's better you were You were the home late and I was out all day, too I was at dr. Rowland's and what did dr. Rowland have to say the baby's fine. What do you think he'd say the baby's fine What about you? Oh, I'm fine, too. This is not and he said you are fine fine Now tell me what are you hiding in the bedroom hiding? Who's hiding you and you're sitting on something, too I certainly hope so. I mean besides the chair. I don't see anything besides it David What dear don't what dear me. I know you have something up your sleeve You're cute Tell me am I sitting on what's up my sleeve? I must be a contortionist if you don't tell me I'll tickle you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, not that That's there you are bluffs confessed for me. So that's it David. You you you you took it I took what the mail order catalog Claudia why on earth would I do a whole so you admit it you make it sound like a terrible crime Have a guilty conscience. Oh, I just thought I'd glance through it waiting for you to come home And that's why you hid in the bedroom. Is it? Well, it's getting late. Just give me the catalog And while you shower, I'll just glance through it. Oh, I've got plenty of time. It's still early It's not as early as you think David then maybe you'd better go and start getting done already. Oh, it is not that late I've just timed it too What's so funny you me Me both I'll tell you why We'll sit down together and read the mail order catalog together. How's that? Oh, that's perfect I love reading something at the same time with you. I was afraid of that That's the way I like reading best and come on. We'll go in the living room You know, I hardly had a chance to look at it this morning But it looks fascinating this mail order catalog darling is This for many people the only way to shop you mean many people who never get to a store Many people who live hundreds of miles from the nearest store David. That's awful. Oh, it's not so terrible I died just wait until you read this catalog You'll never want to go to a store again. Well, I do love getting mail and Everything in this book is a bargain. Really? Come on quick get sit down here. I never saw you so anxious to read something. I'll turn on the standing lamp There All ready now. Let me see. I was reading page 623 now farm equipment farm equipment I don't want to look at farm equipment. Just look at that tractor Isn't that the most beautiful thing you ever saw stunning? You'd never think to look at it. Would you that that this tractor can pull a double plow fancy that And look at this look at this side delivery rate. What do you think you're not gonna buy one of those things? Are you of course? I am some day soon. You'll realize how handy it is to be able to buy my mail For instance now all of this farm equipment No reason why I should spend my time in stores. I'm going to order it by mail. Well, that's up to you Well, I'm certainly not going to Maybe I maybe I ought to buy one of these incubators. What's an incubator for hatching chicks? I thought the hand did that well hens can Once the chicks are hatched you keep them warm and a brooder like What's the matter? You look as if you didn't like the idea. I don't think I do Why? David how many chicks are in a brooder? Different sizes some to 70 some 350 or 450. No Here you are. Here's the picture right in front of you. Well, they must get all mixed up. What? Chicks how do the hens know what is theirs? Darling it it doesn't matter to the hand. How do you know? Well It's always done this way and doesn't convince me a hand is a mother, isn't she? Well, so I've always thought and I certainly wouldn't want my child in a brooder with darling Are you comparing yourself to a hen? Well, I think I know a little more the way she feels than you do There you hear here Here's a pasteurizer. You'll have to get one of those to David you changed the subject dinner And here's a separator only 3450 What's the separator separates the cream from the milk? Oh, then we don't want one of those why I like my milk creamy I think it's a gypsy serve milk with the cream skimmed off the top. Oh David look we don't want all this farm stuff. It'll only complicate things such as oh Taking chicks away from hens and cream away from milk Next thing you know, we'll be taking our nice crow away away from the field. We will we will Absolutely, I'm sorry. I brought it up. Well Now, let's see what they have in the line. Hey David. It's my turn. We've been looking at farm stuff Let's look at the rest what clothes and I knew this would happen. What? Darling, I'm getting starved. Don't you want to get dinner ready? Don't you want to take a shower? All right, all right, you win. What else do you want to look at? Well, there's a big section on household furnishings. You want to look at that? Oh, David that's a lot of fun stoves and refrigerators and Look look here's one. It's got six top burners and Insulated oven and two non-tip oven racks, whatever they are. I think I'll write in for it darling You don't want to write in for things. Why not? What's the fun of shopping this way, but David? It's much more convenient after all a stove is a stove is that I mean you won't see it in sheep's clothing I dare say you won't darling. No, let's see. Let's see what else there is I want just make a wish and then look it up in the indexed and it's yours. I wish for I Wish for Just look at this index a moment. It's the story of your life My life Yours mine everybody's This catalog begins at your birth and ends at the end Here here you have everything you need to get born baby powder thermometers cribs toys The next big step Graduation David that's a stunning graduation dress marriage See Right here. I could buy you a thousand dollar engagement ring a perfect blue white diamond and wedding bands Nine to thirty dollars Why it's certainly a lot cheaper to get married and engaged many lad has been trapped that way Then after marriage your first home The furniture for it the tiling and the linoleum for the floor wall paper for the wall Book clubs to help fill those library shelves all sorts of clothing Livestock to fill the barn seats to flower the gardens lightning rods to protect the house You need one of those cute little pinafores for your daughter Rompers for your son sleds and tennis racket fishing lines for vacation Now, let me see. Where are we? Oh, yes, then the man in the family starts to make a little money He buys a car by mail Well, you can get all the upholstery tires and replaceable parts. They'd be a big help without the car and and mind you he can get a Garage door. I think we could use a garage door. Don't you a garage might grow on to it Oh, but you can get a garage too. Well, then what do we buy that? Well, now let's see By now we've gotten a little older So it's a cold stove to keep the living room a little warmer. See we put the cold stove over in the left hand Oh, yes, I'm gonna be right underneath it. A rocking chair to rock it knitting needles yarn You can keep the yarn Corn plasters. I'll keep the corn plasters a Magnifying glass to read the evening paper with yes woolen underwear That's scratchers maybe some paints and brushes to catch that last sunset and then Then a wheelchair and finally on page 1172 a nice marble monument They think of everything don't they everything It's the seven ages of man and beast in a mail-order catalog. Oh, David Makes me feel so married. I mean now we've got a mail-order catalog between us sort of Telling us all about our lives You know come to think it's really almost all you need to get married in Almost but not quite not quite You know, I I think I'll get myself a pencil and paper And then I'm going right straight from front to back in this catalog And I'm going to make a list of every single one of the things that I want now. Let me see a tractor tractor Separator one separator how much was that 34? Oh, that's terribly spent a wheelbarrow. Listen right down a stove a stove and a lantern a lantern and Blue jeans for me jeans for you Yeah, and you too. I expect to wear the pants in this family Wait a minute. Wait a minute wheelbar Where the wheel? David listen, we can't do it this way. It's like pulling numbers out of the hat We have got to have a system a system. I see That you and your system not now just what would you suggest? Well, let me see I Think we ought to begin at the beginning and then go through it page by page page by page Yes, let's see certainly. Well, how else are we going to know everything that's in here? Oh, looky here What there is a pair of pants just exactly like I had when I was a little boy. Oh Dave look at those corduroy's. I think you Everything's wonderful. It's going to be a wonderful night. Look this catalog has how many? 1196 pages. Let's see what's on the last page. We'll buy something on the last page One thousand one hundred and see if we bought it. Here it is a halter for a horse I can get one of those for you and let's see Darling you underestimate yourself. It's going to be a wonderful week. Come on. Let's start at the beginning page one page You don't need to go in for extravagant Entertainment if your object is simply to give your guests a gracious welcome and make them feel at home Actually a bottle of ice-cold Coca-Cola will do that to everybody's satisfaction at the mere expenditure of five cents Have you plenty of coke on ice by the way? No telling when that doorbell a ring, you know Well David, you know we had quite a session there listening to you get through that whole catalog Yes, we did page by page every last single one now a list of things to order It's practically as long as the catalog. You sure you haven't forgotten anything I promise Claudia that we haven't all we need now is a house to move into and a mailbox to stand by the gate Oh, why didn't you buy the mailbox by mail that it really be logical, you know Well, Claudia has a feeling about mailboxes yo, I suppose I'll find out about that tomorrow You will and I have a feeling that when Claudia has a feeling. Well, I'll see you tomorrow see what you mean. Goodbye David Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is Joe King saying olive wire and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be and you think of refreshment think of Coca-Cola or Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and Ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola