 My name is Sam Vaknin, and I'm your favorite Sigma professor of psychology. Sigma professor, like Sigma men. I'm also the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, and a host of other books and e-books and videos, etc., etc., etc. Aren't you tired of this? I am. So, what we will discuss today is Tinder. Tinder, dating, sex with an S, and everything around it, especially the nonsensical myths propagated by the intellectually challenged geniuses in the manosphere and the pseudo-intellectuals who lead them astray. I'm going to back everything I say, of course, with numerous studies and research, what have you. Before you say anything, good research observes behavior. Good research is not based on self-reporting. It simply follows people around and sees what's happening. So, we have many studies which incorporate and include observations of behavior in situ, in real life. And most of the studies I will cite in this video lecture are experimental studies, studies which observe behavior, rather than just self-reporting questionnaires. Because in self-reporting questionnaires, people can and often do lie. They do lie especially when it comes to sex. God knows why. We are in such a permissive, liberal environment and still people are ashamed and feel guilty and feel that they have to deceive and mislead other people when it comes to sexual practices and so on and so forth. So, before we start, I would like to refer you to the contemporary sexuality playlist in this channel and especially to the video Youth Sexlessness, where I had summarized dozens of studies conducted with young people under the age of 25. Today we use the concept of extended adolescence, just up to age 25, when most people graduate, those who do, graduate college and so on and so forth. Dating apps. We are all acquainted with them, no need to introduce them. It's a great mistake to believe that Tinder is the largest dating app. It's not by far. Badoo, B-A-D-O-O is much bigger. Plenty of fish. Meet me, they're bigger than Tinder. But Tinder has the advantage of catering to people in the West, especially young people in Western countries. And because the West controls the media, the mass media, the West controls social media, the West controls television, the West controls printing presses, the West controls moviemaking, etc., etc., or at least it believes it does. We are more exposed to Tinder and we use Tinder as a gauge. That would be, of course, highly misleading, because China, for example, has its own social media universe, which is utterly divorced from the Western one. Same goes for Russia. So anything we learn from the United States, from Norway, from the United Kingdom, from Portugal is not applicable in Brazil. Not applicable in Russia. Not applicable in China. Not applicable in the Middle East. Not applicable, actually, to something like 85% of humanity. And yet this Eurocentric, this Atlanta-centric view of humanity, like everything important, happens in the United States or in Europe, nor else, it's unfortunately with us, even in academic circles. Someone asked me what exactly was I trying to say yesterday in my video about casual sex and one-night stands and so on. Here's what I was trying to say in a single sentence. One-night stands are full-fledged relationships with a very brief or short expiry date. Casual sex is a form of full-fledged relationships with intimacy, with emotions, with affection, with attachment, with bonding, with commitment, with investment, like any other relationship. But with intermittent or short expiry date, the only thing differentiating a one-night stand from a 25 years marriage is that a one-night stand lasts for one night. Essentially, nothing else. Okay. People use dating applications. And I will give you the gist of this video for those of you whose attention span never exceeds three minutes. Here's the gist of the video. People use dating applications almost exclusively for entertainment in order to boost self-esteem and, surprise of all surprises, in order to find an intimate, long-term romantic partner. Dating apps are rarely used to find casual sex. Shocking, isn't it? Against everything you have been taught online. Dating apps, I repeat, are rarely used in order to find casual sex. Moreover, dating app usage rarely results in real-life, face-to-face meetings or dating. In other words, what is on Tinder stays on Tinder. It's a self-enclosed, self-sufficient, self-contained digital virtual universe. People interact online or via Tinder with other people online on Tinder, and that's where it stops in the overwhelming vast majority of the cases. So it never, it never exits cyberspace or rarely exits cyberspace. It rarely becomes a reality. People swipe right and they swipe left and they do this in order to be exposed to visual stimuli. They like to watch photos. So they watch photos, they read, they read bios and descriptions. They sometimes chat a bit, sometimes they take it to another chat application like WhatsApp. That's where it stops in the overwhelming majority of cases. That's where it stops. It starts online, it ends online. It starts on Tinder, it ends mostly on Tinder sometimes on WhatsApp. It is extremely rare for any Tinder interaction to end in real life. And it is even more rare, almost unheard of, for such interactions to lead to sex. These are facts. I'm going to substantiate these facts with numerous studies from all over the world. But before we go there, I would like to refer you to a recent study published in Sexual Medicine Reviews. It's an academic journal, Volume 8, Issue 3, July 2020. The article is titled, Sexological Aspects Related to Tinder Use. A comprehensive review of the literature. And it was written by numerous authors, there's like, if I count correctly, 12 or 15 authors. And here is an excerpt from the study. Casual sex might be a risk for sexual health, but Tinder users have also been committed to romantic relationships. Moreover, some pathological aspects of personality characterize Tinder users. The authors say, we found social sexuality, that is, sexual activities outside a committed relationship, to be the main predictor for casual sex in Tinder users. The sexual aims appeared gender influenced. Men used Tinder mostly for casual sex compared to women. Women didn't. With respect to other dating apps, it has been also found that the Tinder use is less related to the risk of sexually transmitted infections. For a simple reason, by the way, Tinder use rarely, extremely rarely ends in sex. The authors continue, however, specific personality traits related to dark personality, association of Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy, were more frequently reported among male Tinder users. So what the authors are saying is a mismatch between the expectations of male users of Tinder and female users of Tinder. Because of this mismatch, it doesn't translate to sex, or rarely translates to sex. Men want casual sex, women don't. Sex is very simple. As we go further, and I cite a plethora of other studies, you will see that even this is not entirely true. The situation is much more benign. And of course it's much more benign than anything described in the Manosphere. Manosphere users, Manosphere pseudo-intellectuals, Manosphere bright lights, Manosphere geniuses, Niktau intellectually challenged leaders, all these people have no idea what they're talking about, are not using any data, are confabulating, imagining, inventing, spewing out unmitigated trash and nonsense. I'm referring now as an academic to facts. I'm not expressing an opinion now as to the ideology of Niktau, or Incells, or Red Pillars, or the Manosphere. Ideology is debatable. Opinions can vary, we can agree or disagree. I can find them contemptible, misogynistic, fuggish and stupid, which is exactly how I view them. But this is my opinion. I am exercised by, and I'm incensed by, their misrepresentation, or lies, or misrepresentations of facts. They misrepresent facts. They also misunderstand, because they are not intellectually equipped to understand, most of evolutionary psychology and other relevant theories in psychology and other fields. And this creates a mayhem. And they are led by pseudo-intellectuals who had failed as academics. And these pseudo-intellectuals spew out even greater nonsense, and what's worse, they lend a seal of credibility to the junk, to the junk manufactured by these groups, to the intellectual junk manufactured by these groups. This is not even junk food, it's just junk. Okay, start with the concept of beta and alpha. Alpha males chads in the lingo of the Manosphere, and beta males. Now the concepts of alpha and beta male do exist. These concepts exist in ethology, the study of animal behavior. And they had been imported from ethology to anthropology, and to sociology, and to some extent into social psychology. So these concepts do exist, even in the academic literature. But not in the way the Manosphere had expropriated and corrupted them. On the very contrary, actually. The alpha male in academic literature is an empathic, team player, compassionate, loving, in a way effeminate, networking person. Exactly the opposite. What the Manosphere calls beta male is actually an alpha male. And the alpha male of the Manosphere is a narcissist or a psychopath. They are idolizing narcissists and psychopaths. They are placing narcissists and psychopaths on a pedestal. All the industry of dating coaches and business coaches, they are teaching people how to become more narcissistic, more antisocial, more defined, more grandiose, more fantastic, less realistic, more delve deeper into magical or to sink in magical thinking. It's a sick industry. And they are sickening people. They are making people mentally ill. It borders on a crime, in my view. And so when you look at business coaches, even respectable business coaches like Kate Luderman, for example, or Eddie Erlinson, they had written an article published in the Harvard Business Review, coaching the alpha male. When you read the article, you would immediately say, that's not, I don't know what it is, but this is a narcissist. The alpha male in the article is a narcissist, grandiose, defiant, pseudo-stupid, not open to criticism and ideas. Absent reality testing leads by intimidation. So a bit psychopathic, a bit antisocial. And that's the alpha male in the Harvard Business Review. I mean, what grounds do I have to complain about the poor people in the monosphere whose collective IQ is 100? So we have a problem here. Alpha males and beta males are, in my view, legitimate distinctions. It's a legitimate distinction. But they have been misconstrued and corrupted completely online. And so the fact is, the fact is that women prefer what the monosphere calls beta males. Women abhor jerks, chads, the macho swaggering, aggressive male types. Women find them repulsive and disgusting and want nothing to do with them. They prefer, women prefer, empathic, kind, attentive men. Yes, even for one nightstands. How do I know? We have numerous studies. We had observed women in settings such as bars and restaurants on dating apps and so on. And we know. I'm going to replace five links in the description to studies that confirm what I've just said. Women prefer the monosphere's version of beta males, even for one nightstands. Alpha males are actually narcissists and psychopaths. And women don't want them. Alpha males are out, except perhaps, as visual entertainment on Tinder. Alpha males, not all by any means. Some alpha males have musculature. Their bodybuilders, they look good. They look nice. They are drop dead gorgeous. They're hunks. So they're nice to look at from a distance, from a safe distance. And that's what women do, as I will show you in a minute. Women swipe right in order to entertain themselves. And sometimes extremely rarely, by the way, they reach out and they rebuild or sustain. They get an ego boost. They rebuild or sustain their self-esteem. And that's where it ends. Validation, goodbye. These are the facts. Now hooking up is a new stage in what we call the dating script or the sexual script. Let me retrace. What is a dating script? What is a sexual script? Scripts are prescriptions or recipes on how to behave. They are behavioral recipes. Who gives you these recipes? Who dictates to you how to behave? Society. Society tells you how to behave. Society tells you how to date a partner. Society tells you how to behave in sex. Society provides you with scripts. Dating scripts and sexual scripts. Society does this via socialization agents. Via people or institutions that introduce you to the expectations, mores and rules and norms of society. First and foremost, your mother and father, then grandmothers, grandfathers, then teachers, then influential figures, influences, then role models, then peers. All these people teach you one way or another, by example, verbally, intellectually. All these people teach you how you should be a man, how you should be a woman, how a man behaves in a typical dating, in a typical date, how a woman behaves in a dating situation, and how both should behave in the sack, in bed, during sex, what is acceptable, what is crossing the line, what's a violation of boundaries, what is really, really bad taste, and what is wonderful. These are dating and sexual scripts. And now, here's the problem. In the past, people had access to 500 other people if they were lucky. You had 500 people to choose from if you were lucky. You're confined to your village, you're confined to your city or your town. These habitations were very small. And so you had a very limited and narrow repertory, choice, set, or group to choose from. Today, everyone and his dog is exposed to 5,000, 10,000, 50,000 people, millions of people via dating apps. The pool had expanded, had exploded dramatically. Today, a woman can choose from 1,000 men or 2,000 men, while in the past she would have been lucky to choose from three men. So, we needed a new filtering mechanism, because the number of possibilities and options and potentialities had exploded in a supernova style. We needed something to help us make the correct choice. We needed a filtering mechanism. And this filtering mechanism is dating apps. Dating apps are not divorced from dating. Dating apps are not kind of disjointed. They're not out there all by themselves. Dating apps are integrated into the seamless flow of interaction between the genders. First, you decide that you want an intimate partner. Then you go on a dating app. Then you find your matches. Then you fix a meeting. Then you go on a date. The date leads to sex. In a small minority of cases, by the way. The date leads to sex. Following the sex, you decide whether you can have a long-term, romantic, or intimate relationship. So, while in the past, we had the very same sequence, only without the dating apps. Today, we have the same sequence augmented by the dating apps. Because the dating apps help us to select their filters. They help us to filter out the wrong options. The options that are not right for us. And so dating apps actually lead to marriages. To intimate relationships. To committed, invested relationships. This is the main output of dating apps. Not casual sex. As I will shortly show you. And so dating apps are not a bad thing. Dating apps are a good thing. And even when there is casual sex. In a majority, a surprising majority of cases, it leads to relationships. And because women prefer to have relationships. With beta males, monosphere beta males. Even in the monosphere, they admit that women prefer to have relationships with beta males. So follow the logic. Dating apps in a tiny minority of cases result in face-to-face meetings. These face-to-face meetings in a small minority of cases result in casual sex. Casual sex in a large majority of cases, more than two thirds. Leads to relationships. But women want relationships with beta males. Not with alpha males. Not with narcissists and psychopaths. And jerks. And a-holes. They want a nice, kind, empathic, supportive guy. Attentive. Compassionate. So they are likely to choose in advance. What the monosphere calls beta male. So the vast majority of meetings offline. Meetings that had emanated from. Meetings that were catalyzed by the dating app. These meetings are actually, meetings offline are actually with beta males. Consequently, most of the casual sex is also with beta males. Using the monospheres. Misrepresentation of the beta male. Okay. Let me quote to you a study. It was published in personality and individual differences. Volume 155. We are sure write a lot. We are psychologists. Volume 155. March 2020. The title, the study is titled. Never mind, I'll find someone like me. Assortative meeting preferences on Tinder. And it was written again by Van Den Balker and others. So. Here's another myth. Another nonsense, piece of nonsense online. Women are looking for chads. They're looking for, they're looking to marry up. It's called hypergamy. They want to marry up. They want to marry someone above their station. Someone who is not like them. Someone who is superior to them. They also want to date. And they also also want to, to hit the hay. They want to roll in the hay. They want to have sex with men who don't look like them. Who are superior to them physically. Much more attractive. So women are looking up. They want the men who is more attractive, more muscular, more handsome, more of a hulk and a hunk, more richer, socially superior and so on. That's the myth. It even has a name, hypergamy. It's wrong. It's simply completely wrong. Many studies have shown conclusively that women want men who resemble them, who are like them, in terms of attractiveness, in terms of personality, in terms of economic status, in terms of life, life potentials, in terms of stage of self-actualization, in terms of age, et cetera, et cetera. So I'll read to you from this. In this process of selecting, it's called assortative mating. So I'll read to you. The study says, we analyze experimental and survey data on almost 8,000 Tinder profile evaluations. We unambiguously find that Tinder users prefer a potential partner whom they perceive to be similar to the personality traits, agreeableness, and openness to experience. So they are looking for someone who is as agreeable as they are and as open to experience as they are. With respect to similarity and perceived age, we find either no assortment or positive assortment. In other words, when it comes to age, people are looking for either the same age or they don't care. And they never look for on purpose for someone who is not the same age. And this depends on the condition of another personality participant characteristics. Finally, and this is the crucial sentence, I want you to listen to this well, because this single sentence demolishes the idiotic edifice of the monosphere. Finally, we do not find any evidence for preferences for assortative mating based on attractiveness. I repeat this because people in the monosphere don't get anything the first time. We are lucky if they get it the seventh time. So I repeat the sentence for the benefit of our deprived brethren in the monosphere. Finally, we do not find, say these scholars, the authors, we do not find any evidence for preferences for assortative mating based on attractiveness. In other words, my dear monosphere listeners, in other words, people on dating apps tinder in this case do not choose people, do not match, do not look to meet, do not look to sleep with. Other people based on attractiveness, not, they do choose to go offline, to go on a date or even to have casual sex based on agreeableness, based on openness to experience and to some extent based on each, but not based on the possible matches attractiveness. Bye-bye monosphere with all your nonsense. Okay. One very important thing that I keep saying is that people confuse alpha males with narcissists and psychopaths. And of course, whenever you challenge this idiotic assumption, this misconstrual, they come up with tinder. You see, but on tinder women choose the most good looking guys. Wrong, by the way, not true. Even if it were right, the good looking guys on tinder are narcissists and psychopaths. They are not alpha males. I'm sorry to break the news. The good looking people, the womanizers, those who are playing the field, those who are looking only for casual sex and so on, those who are grooming, they are narcissists and psychopaths. I refer you to a study in the academic journal Current Psychology. Published this last year, 2020. Study is titled The Dark Tetrad in Tinder. Hookup app for high psychopathy individuals and a diverse utilitarian tool for Machiavellians. It was authored by Mina Lyons, Ashley Messenger appropriately, Rebecca Perry and Gail Brewer. And here's what they say. Using tinder, using tinder for acquiring sexual experience was related to being male and to being high in psychopathy. Did you hear this? Men on tinder are narcissists and psychopaths. That's why the manosphere calls them alpha males. Psychopathy was positively, the authors continue, psychopathy was positively correlated with using tinder to distract oneself from other tasks, procrastination. Higher Machiavellianism and being female were related to peer pressure as a tinder used motivation. Using tinder for acquiring social or flirting skills had a negative relationship with narcissism and positive relationship with Machiavellianism. Finally, Machiavellianism was also a significant, positive predictor of tinder used for social approval and to pass the time. Results indicate that individuals high in Machiavellianism use tinder for a number of utilitarian reasons, whereas the main motive for high psychopathy individuals is hookup for casual sex. Okay. The current situation is, it would come as a shock to you, I'm sure. One third of marriages are conceived online. One third of people who get married had met online, most of them through dating apps. Dating apps are the main tool today for getting married and for long-term relationships. And dating apps are abysmal failure at arranging and facilitating and catalyzing casual sex. Facts. A survey from 2014 found that 84% of dating app users were using online dating services to look for a romantic relationship. 84% were using dating apps to find a romantic relationship. 24% stated that they use online dating apps explicitly for sexual encounters. Okay. How many are successful? There's so many people on dating apps, close to a billion. Some people say 2 billion. How many of them are successful? Do dating apps or does the use of dating apps translate to any real-world benefits? Sex, marriage, romance. We know that the main outcome of using dating apps is marriage and romance, romantic relationships. But how many are there? What's the statistical outcome? A study found that 50% one-half of Tinder users have only ever been on a single face-to-face date, even though most of them had hundreds of matches. 50% of Tinder users have met one of their matches and that's it. The same study found that less fewer than 25% of matches are looking for a long-term relationship. Researchers say users need a large number of matches to have any meet-ups at all. So 25% go there to find romantic relationships. It's a huge number, by the way, because all the other reasons are like 2% and 3% each. The vast majority, actually, of people who gave reasons want to use the dating apps for romance. There was a study in... This study was in Norway, which has its own special sexuality care. It's Scandinavia, they're much more liberal when it comes to sex and dating. Marriage rates are exceedingly low. Single-hood race, single-motherhood race, everything is very high and people have special cohabitation arrangements, which effectively are marriages but without the seal and imprimatur of the state. So there's a study by Trond Vigo Grundvedt, G-R-O-N-T-V-E-D-T at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. He and his colleagues made a survey of 269 students. All of them were members of Tinder. 60% of the participants were women, which is an anomaly, by the way. It's a tiny percentage, a very small percentage of Tinder users are actually women. The majority are men. We'll come to it in a minute. But in this particular study, they included a lot of women. The students were asked a lot of questions. For example, if you are a current or former user of Tinder, how many matches have you had since you started using the app? And of those people you have met using Tinder, how many did you meet with an interest in a long-term committed relationship? So men reported typically 111 matches. So men reported 124. Half of the participants had meet-ups with a match. And on average, men had 1.2 meet-ups. In other words, of 111 matches, men met two. Women met also two, 2.2 over 124 matches. Not a very good ratio, is it? Only about 25% of study participants said they had used the app to meet someone interested in a long-term relationship. That's in Norway. About 80%. 80% in Norway. 80% did not engage in any sexual activity using the app. 13% engaged in sexual activity once having used the app for years. 3% noted two sexual encounters. And 4% had more than two. If you put everything together, something like 20% had any sexual encounter. 80% of the heavy users never had one. And so to better understand even how the mechanics of the process Tinder imposes on its users, because Tinder forces you to swipe. There's an issue of matching. There's a way of starting conversations. It's not totally free for all. You're within a structure. You have to obey rules. You have to follow directives and procedures. It's very, very form... In a way, it's very formalized. So, how does this fact that you have to follow certain procedures, how does it influence the resulting sexual or romantic interactions? There was a study in Belgium. They studied 1,038 Tinder users. And they say, our findings show that a user's swiping quantity does not guarantee a higher number of Tinder matches. Women have generally more matches than men. And men usually have to start a conversation on Tinder. Moreover, while having conversations was positively associated with reporting having had offline Tinder encounters, less than half of our sample reported having had an offline meeting with another Tinder user. Again, the same number. Whereas more than one-third of those offline encounters led to casual sex, more than a quarter of offline encounters resulted in the formation of a committed relationship. And by the way, two-thirds of those who had casual sex ended up having a relationship. Such findings indicate, say the authors, that Tinder is not just a hook-up app as often is assumed in public discourse. It's a polite way of saying the atmosphere. We argue, say the authors, that it is plausible that sexual encounters will eventually lead to committed relationships in a society where initiation of relationship formation with dating has been replaced by hooking up. I disagree that it has been replaced. I think it has been augmented. I think the dating apps are a filter telling you who to date, helping you with a mate selection process, including a sortative mating process. A few anecdotes. These were studies. Now, a few anecdotes. One Reddit user quantified his journey in the $1 billion online dating industry in a very personal graph. I'm quoting from an article. Inspired by someone who did the same for OKCupid over the course of 500 days, user Keong Manja showed his swiping progress over the course of 28 days. The results. He had 53 mentions, including 38 people he began talking to on WhatsApp. And 12 of these ghosted or never replied. Of the 38 people he had spoken to, 9 agreed to a date. 3 of these 9 stood him up. Never appeared. 2 cancelled. Actually over 500 days he came up with 53 matches. He tried to talk to 38 people and of these matches he met 4 people in 500 days. My grandmother used to do better just walking to the grocery and back to the grocery store and back. It's extremely inefficient. More than 44% of people in one survey reported that they were swiping only for confidence boosting procrastination. 44% were swiping with no intention to meet anyone to date anyone or to f anyone to have sex with anyone. American Millenials spend an average of 10 hours on dating apps. The study by Badoo, which is a much bigger app than Tinder. Men spend 85 minutes a day women spend 79 minutes a day. Heterosexual men there's a study 2016 Queen Mary University in London UK Heterosexual men are less choosy less picky. Men swipe right far more often than heterosexual women do. Living these men with a low success rate the more you swipe right the more you're disappointed the more you're ghosted the more you're stood up the more you're ignored. The success rate the success rate of men on Tinder hold your breath is 0.6%. Meanwhile women are more selective about who they swipe right on so women get a success rate of 10%. Women are 16 and a half times more successful than men on Tinder and this seems to be the case as well. The guy from Reddit that I mentioned before he had a similar experience and there was another guy I mentioned before on OKQPID. That guy on OKQPID he sent 143 unique first messages over these 500 days and 80 first messages which are essentially copy paste canned 8 messages so a total of 223 messages and of these 223 messages that he had sent out over 500 days he received only 5 responses he received 5 responses and then he pushed further and he got another response he finally succeeded to date 6 women 2 of the 6 stood him up and he had 4 actual dates. These are the dismal ratios all over I'm sorry. Successfully getting from match to date doesn't mean that dated self is successful of course. Most dates most majority of dates do not lead to second dates let alone to 6 and women complain that men are using the first date as a therapy session or they're using them as sounding boards for personal problems for example. Many women complain that men are too aggressive too influenced by pornography and so to attract dates openness to experience, agreeableness sense of humor and a good credit score these are the 4 determinants not how you look how you look is irrelevant not attractiveness it's a myth dating coach there's a dating coach called Meredith Gordon she says the biggest mistake men make is letting banter via text message to continue for too long without extending an invitation to a face-to-face meeting banter for about 2-3 days averaging 2 messages a day and then ask to meet she says also cast the net wide swipe a lot and engage with many for every 10 interactions 1 or 2 will respond and of course 1 of 2 of these 1 or 2 so it's I mean it's dismal it's dismal I mean the success rate on dating apps is zilch in the youth and sexlessness video I quote much more extensive statistics and these statistics show that less than 3% less than 3% of dating app users get to ever communicate with each other in whatever form and then a fraction of a fragment of these date and then 1 third of these end up having sex and luckily actually a majority of the dates end up becoming couples which is a redeeming feature of dating apps I would like to quote from an article by Janet Purvis article is titled tinder women get many more matches but it's quantity not quality research has shown that men and women may have different motivations for using the app while women do frequently engage in short term mating strategies men repeatedly demonstrate more desire for short term mating which is a gentle way of saying one night stands in addition studies suggest men are more likely to pursue romantic partners using direct and quick methods of approach and they spend more time and energy looking for shorter mating opportunities than women and since tinder users often use the app when they're alone and can reject or express interest without receiving any social backlash males may be especially drawn to rapid swiping as a result women and gay men receive more matches than heterosexual men in one of the first quantitative studies conducted on tinder I think it was 2017 researchers created an equally attractive fake male and fake female tinder profile I mean like fake male tinder profile and fake female tinder profile and then swiped right on everyone who appeared in the app they then recorded the number of swipe matches and messages each of the fake profiles received in return while the female profile had a matching rate of 10.5% the match rate for the male profile was 0.6% the most matches came from gay or bisexual men ok I would like to quote from an article published in technology review it's called how tinder feedback loop forces men and women into extreme strategies the article says next the team created an algorithm which through each profiles matches logged the details of each one's age, sex, by bio and so on and then liked all of them in total they crawled 230.000 male profiles in this way in 250.000 female profiles huge sample by counting the likes each profile got in return the team could determine the percentage of other users who had responded favorably it was a big sample size the data analysis reveals some interesting differences between the sexes for a start men and women use entirely different strategies to engage a potential mate on tinder men tend to like a large proportion of the women they view but they receive only a tiny fraction in return just 0.6% women use the exact opposite strategy they are far more selective about who they like but have a much higher matching rate of about 10% still curiously the vast proportion of matches came from men whether for the male or for the female profiles even though the male female ratio is roughly even on average 86% of all the matches of all the matches our male profiles receive came from other men so men try to team up with men on tinder, not women about 1 in 10 women are getting matches from men they like men are getting swipes from about 9 in 1.000 women and that is excluding homosexual men to men's wives another difference is the way men and women behave once they have received a match women tend to be far more engaged more likely to send a message to the match overall we find that 21% of female matches send a message whereas only 7% of male matches send a message another difference is women because of pre-selecting they are more likely to send a message there was a survey in April 2020 of adults in the United States 15% that's 15% of respondents, people between the ages of 18 to 29 years were using tinder adults between 33 and 44 years were more likely, most likely to use the social dating apps 19% of this age group so actually adults between 33 and 34 are using tinder much more than teenagers and young adults another myth busted Tinder is a popular location based dating app and it was one of the first swiping apps as of January 2019 the vast majority of users of Tinder users in the United States were male about 2 thirds of active Tinder users accessed the application only once a month only one third of users were daily active users so what is the distribution in terms of gender male users 72% female users 28% and that includes all the transgendered and homosexual and other fluid sexuality definitions by genitalia men 72 women 28 in the UK the situation is even much more egregiously radical there is a study by Oguri OGURY the male to female ratio on Tinder in the United Kingdom is 9 to 1 for every 9 men there is a single woman men are about 85% of total Tinder users women make about 15% again when you say women it's also including transgender pure men to pure women I mean sexually speaking would be 9 to 1 college students aren't keen to go on dates they see Tinder and dating apps as ego boosters that's a study by lend edu edu so when they ask college students why are you using Tinder do you want to find dates no way we're not dating do you want to find casual sex no so college students are using Tinder mainly as an ego booster so here are the statistics close to 24% are using Tinder to boost confidence and to procrastinate 29% use Tinder for a variety of reasons which have nothing to do with dating or with sex about 4% use Tinder to find a relationship to look for a relationship and about 23% or 22% use it to compare hookups casual sex ironically most of the casual sex ends up in fostering and in gendery romantic and intimate relationships so hooking up is only the third most prevalent reasons why students use Tinder another survey asked students to compare Tinder and Bumbo 40% of the students said they use Tinder to hookup for dating 54% said they don't see any difference between the two Tinder and other casual dating apps are actually not used for dating the authors summarize the study and say students see dating apps as a form of past time to pass the time entertainment rather than a chance to get a date simple texting website conducted a survey on the topic of the link between online dating and casual sex survey was not specifically focused or centered around Tinder was about all dating apps but the results were surprising 23.6% of respondents answered that they've had two or more one night stands using dating apps and the surprise was of course 50% ended up having sex flip it and you could say that 76% didn't get a chance to have sex the dating app didn't lead them to sex 52% said they had no sex whatsoever not even conversation about sex like sexting or cyber sex nothing sexual 52% so dating apps are not for hookups they're not for hookups simple if you want a hookup and you use a dating app to obtain a hookup you are far worse than for example going to a library if you go to a library if you go to a laundromat if you go to grocery store these effects if you go even to a restaurant to some extent a bar or a pub you're more likely to pick someone, a partner for casual sex than if you use a dating app sometimes twice more likely so there's a high percentage of respondents who actually never had sex they had zero one night stands in both genders and the surprise was that more women had casual sex and the consequence of using dating apps than men women ended up having more one night stands than men men failed more often and no men failed across all all the attractiveness measures so it has nothing to do with attractiveness men failed across all personality and biography keywords all visuals it was universal so um dating apps are a failure so why why use it so it might be true that Tinder is used primarily to boost one's ego shore up his self-esteem and not forgetting a date so I mentioned the Lend-Edu study where 70% of Tinder users stated that they didn't meet their matches in real life there was another study much bigger modern dating myths conducted a study of 7072 respondents and the results were staggering 95% of people of users of Tinder did not get did not get I mean got matches and uh were able to leverage this message these matches into a date so let me explain majority did not get did not obtain dates but a small minority of this minority 95% succeeded to convert into a date and then 44% of these dates ended up in a long-term relationship and this is exactly the same as 42% of offline in other words people who dated as a consequence of using dating apps had the same success rate in developing a long-term relationship as people who had dated offline without the benefit of a dating app so this challenged the perception that dating apps help you to choose and select that they are kind of filter that they help you to focus and zero in and home in on the one on the perfect one it seems that random encounters offline are as good as dating apps so this study challenged a lot of what we we had believed 93% of respondents when asked what they thought was important in a relationship there was a primary value so even though Tinder users do not want to hook up do not want to hook up do not want to commit to long-term relationships only 15% said that they want to commit within the next month they don't want this to happen but it happens so even people who come to the dating app with a mindset not looking for anything long-term just want to say even they end up in long-term intimate relationships of course statistically as I mentioned before the majority fail majority don't have dates majority don't have vast majority the overwhelming majority don't have don't end up having sex they don't end up meeting anyone they end up swiping and swiping so majority of them end up being single end up single rather than dating but those who date even those who have casual sex size of their proportion anywhere between 44 and 67% depending on the study end up having long-term intimate relationships according to Cosmopolitan there was a survey by more M-O-R-A-R-H-P-I 1,000 young adults who used Tinder between the ages of 18 and 25 Cosmopolitan wanted to see how respondents view it being single while also using the dating app 72% reported that they choose to be single and what's even more shocking 81% of which 47% were men and 34% were women and 34% were men 81% said the benefits of being single were the benefits of a romantic relationship I want you to listen to this well because it refutes another nonsensical claim by Jordan Peterson Jordan Peterson makes many counterfactual and utterly nonsensical claims in his books, lectures and so on one of the nonsensical claims he makes is that men are more sensitive to rejection than women which is refuted disputed and refuted by numerous studies another nonsensical claim he makes is that women want to get married and have a long-term relationship and it is men who are averse to it they are trying to avoid it and after a certain age they are no longer interested the numbers in this study show the exact opposite women women want to remain single not men men want relationships men are much more romantic than women men want intimacy men men actually feel much better in marriages than women that's why 73% of all divorces are initiated by women men don't want the marriage to fail because they thrive in marriage their life expectancy increases in marriage their health condition is much better when they are married women suffer in marriage women suffer disproportionately in marriages women want to exit marriage and women want to stay single not men so 72% reported that they choose to be single and 81% said that the benefits of being single outweigh the benefits of romantic relationships or these 81% the majority the vast majority were women when asked when these people were asked why don't they like the idea of settling down 61% of women and 46% of men answered that they don't want to make the mistake of ending up with the wrong person 25% of women and 17% of men reported feeling empowered by their choice to remain single women want to remain single not men another survey was conducted by global dating insights and these were respondents between the ages of 18 and 35 and it shows that 68% of women 68% of women and 56% of men said that loyalty is their number one priority 64% of women and 51% of men wanted independence from their partners they were going to end up in a relationship again women wanted independence much more than men women are leery and reluctant to give up on single-hood single-hood empowers them and they feel disempowered and dependent when they enter a long-term intimate romantic relationship with men including marriage and that's why most of them want out they initiate 73% of all divorces most Tinder users just use the app out of pure boredom to make themselves feel better rather than to engage in a real relationship regardless of the actual outcomes so this no one knows exactly how many but tens of millions of people on Tinder there's about 1.6 billion swipes 1.6 to 2 billion swipes a day so there's about 50 daily swipes everyone swipes 50 times a day because only 56% of the users are active so according to Tinder it delivers something like 30 million matches every day and that means that 46% of users get a match every single day majority of users are heterosexual men but the majority of matches are with other men this would mean that men actually get homosexual men gays not women the matches are mainly with homosexual men Tinder claims to have accumulated 43 billion matches since it had launched in 2012 and they say they are responsible for 1.5 million dates every week maybe the next thing has done a survey and it showed that 13.6 of online matches can end up in a marriage so maybe this doesn't apply strictly to Tinder but there's a whole lot of marriages and as I said earlier in this interminable lecture about one third of all marriages are conceived online one way or another through social media email etc etc when it comes to a number to the number of Tinder matches that male and female users get it's a lot more complicated as I've mentioned before and there was another study they used male and female profiles they wanted to see how many matches they would get over a certain period and this study showed that women got 400 matches within one hour and men got 100 matches within the same hour so for every match men got in one hour women got 4 over 4 hours the female profiles got 700 matches and the male profiles got only 200 matches and so women have a more frequent tendency to receive matches and they also react to matches much more frequently they write messages first when they match with someone 21% of the time they write the first message men 7% of the time men are reluctant to write the first message because men's motive is not actually to date or even to have sex men's motives is to be entertained ego boosting or manipulation most men this is the study that I quoted in narcissistic and psychopathic Machiavellian women are more careful and more engaging when they look for potential dates men don't care they are focused on the visuals and the possibility to manipulate men use women use 122 characters in the first message men use 12 average time men take to message the match is about 2 minutes within 5 minutes women on the other hand take much more time 18% of women's messages are within the first 5 minutes of matching it takes them on average 38 minutes there's an article in business outsider 2017 the article claimed that 52% of women have had success at matching with the person they've swiped right to compared to only 16% of men who did the same if you're a woman using Tinder you have 1 in 2 chances of getting a match if you're a guy you have 1 in 5 chances homosexual men have more than double the chances their success rate is 35% so what are the words the trigger we have established already that attractiveness the visual is not the thing is not a determinant it's untrue the nonsense on the monosphere is untrue women do not react to the way the men looks they are not after chads and jerks and narcissists and psychopaths women are very discerning and very discriminant and very wise in using the dating app what the people in the monosphere say the wannabe men in the monosphere say is because they're projecting their own insecurities their own failures their own limited intellectual capacity their own recklessness their own defiance their own psychopathy and narcissism onto the women but that's not how women behave on Tinder, I'm sorry women are triggered by words like work travel, music, dog outdoors and adventure these are the words that turn them on and when they see these words these words indicate agreeableness these words indicate kindness compassion empathy, these are all according to the monosphere, better qualities actually women are more focused on matching interests women focus much less on the body and men, homosexual men gay men and so on they react to words like six feet or tattoos women don't women use a lot of body descriptive words in their own bio but they are not reactive to body descriptive words in a male's bio they focus on the male's character the male's history the male's interests the male's totality the main, the men on Tinder focus on attractiveness so women use very often to describe themselves they use words like shy sarcastic, awkward men surprisingly use words like nerd active and professional so the picture is much more nuanced than the monosphere makes it out to be so as of June 2020 there's a kind of an app measuring system called App Ape so as of June last year 37.5% of owners of Tinder access the dating app on a daily basis only one third access the app on a daily basis access the app part of the race some of the race access the app on a monthly basis that's not exactly the sex hungry fiends and predators that the monosphere describes the usage of the dating app is intermittent it's boredom, motivated by boredom low self-esteem it has to do as far as women are concerned it has to do with relationships and it's focused on the inherent properties and traits and qualities of the potential mates potential men they're looking for real men and real men to use the monosphere's terms are betters the alphas of the monosphere are jerks stupid narcissists and psychopaths there's a good description from the monosphere itself by the way