 All right, so you start seeing a guy and you really like him. Does he think that you're the type of girl that he wants to be with in a relationship or are you just someone that he wants to hook up with? Do you feel like all the guys that you meet just want sex with you? Do all the guys that you meet tell you that they aren't looking for anything serious? Have you ever dated a man for three to six months or even longer? And he didn't consider you anything more than something casual. Today I'm going to talk about how men test women to determine if your relationship material or not. My name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. Before we get started, if you're really serious about having the relationship that you've always wanted to have, make sure that you go to thegoddiscommunity.com and check out joining our community there. So everyone tests everyone. Let's just not kid ourselves here. I get women sometimes that come and they're like, oh, testing is playing games and all that kind of stuff, which it can be. But for the most part, we have to test people. How do you know if somebody is somebody that you want to be in a relationship with? Does he act in a way that is attractive? Does he do things that would make you want to have him in a relationship or not? Those are things that determine whether we're going to spend time with somebody. Are you attracted to him or not? How long does it take for him to contact you? What's his communication style? These are all things that we do to test each other because there's so many people out there. There's billions and billions of people. We have to figure out if somebody is someone that we want to be in a relationship with or not. What tests do men have that determine whether you're someone that he wants to be in a relationship with or not? If you're here with us right now, make sure that you go into the chat and you say hi and let us know where in the world you're watching this from right now. We love that. It's awesome. Everybody loves to see it. It's cool to see so many women all over the world watching these things. It's really cool. The type of test that I'm going to be talking about today is something that I call the observation test. This is things that guys look for where they're not intentionally testing you. They're not giving you tests. They're not doing something actively to test you. They're just observing different types of behavior that you have. These are things that they look for that they test to see if you're doing things that are things that are red flags or you're doing things that make them feel like they want to be in a relationship with you. Here's five of them. I've got five of them. We're going to go through all of them one at a time. The first one is, did you cheat on your boyfriend, fiance, or husband in order to be with them? I know that this sounds pretty bad. However, they did a study a couple years ago where they found that over 50% of all relationships, over 50%, I think the exact number was like 54, 57% of all relationships get started as a result of cheating. Most relationships start as a result of cheating with another person. Everybody wonders why everybody's getting divorced these days. Everyone knows the saying, if she cheats with you or if he cheats with you, she'll cheat on you. This is one of the things that a lot of guys look for. It's really popular, especially in men's dating advice forums. If you go and listen to men's dating advice, they typically talk about this. If a woman or a girl is cheating on her boyfriend or her husband to be with you, don't have her as anything other than a friend with benefits casual relationship because she's going to do the exact same thing to you. Sometimes, another thing that guys will do is they'll listen for how you talk about your exes and see if you cheated on them, if that's a common thing, are you seeing other people right now that you're in a serious relationship with them and you're cheating on them with this guy? That's a huge red flag that a lot of guys have where they look at it and they're just like, I don't think so. If he's smart, he won't want to be with you if you're cheating. If you're smart, you'll break up with whoever you're seeing before you do anything with them. If there's anything wrong with hanging out with a guy necessarily as long as it's not in the context or the frame of it being a date, if you're in a serious, exclusive relationship and it's already been established that that's the kind of relationship that you're in. If you're just hanging out with some people or you're hanging out with a guy and you're just talking and you're friends, I think that's fine. However, if you're moving past that point, if you're going to kiss a guy, if you're going to see a guy in a manner that isn't just some kind of friends type of situation context around the situation you have, you should break up with the guy that you're currently seeing before you start dating this other guy because for a lot of guys, that's a huge red flag and it's immediately like, okay, she's out of the running for somebody that I'd be in a relationship with. If a guy cheats on you, remember that cheaters are far less, I mean, if a guy cheats to be with you, remember that cheaters are far less likely to stay satisfied in their relationships. They're more likely to cheat on you and they tend to stay interested in previous partners. This is all a part of this study that they did a couple years ago where they found all this information. It's something to know, it's something to think about, it's something to be aware of. If you're in that category as well, you might want to change your behaviors a little bit there and there's at least a 50% chance that you are. That's the first test, is did you cheat on your boyfriend, fiance, husband in order to be with him and this happens all the time. Back when I was teaching in the men's dating industry, I went on dates with girls all the time that were married and I didn't even know it until later on when they tell, after we ended up sleeping together or something and they tell you about it and you're like, oh, this is so crazy. It's just a weird kind of thing and it happens all the time, it's constantly happening. Guys going out on dates with girls where the girl tells them, hey, I've got a boyfriend and then she continues to touch his leg and hold his hand and do all the things that you do if you were seeing somebody as more than just a friend. Don't do that. Don't do that if you want to be relationship material with him. Number two is do you throw other men in his face? This is something that I've talked a lot about because one of the things that I do recommend in order to get into a space of abundance is to go out and date a lot of people and just go meet lots of guys and have a ring of orbiters that you have that are looking to date you and be in a relationship with you because what ends up happening is that it changes your entire emotional state because then it's no longer like, oh, I'm latching on to this one guy because you have a ring of guys that you're dating and so you become less needy from doing that. One of the questions that comes up a lot about that is women will say, well, do I tell them about it? Do I throw it in his face? Talk about the other guys that I'm dating. Do I tell them that I'm going on these dates? First off, the answer is no. You should not be throwing it in his face. Don't lie. If he's really trying to be serious about it and he wants to know, especially at the beginning of seeing a guy and he wants to be and if he asks you if he's like, hey, have you been dating other people? Don't lie about it. Especially at that stage, it's easy to be like, yeah, I've been going on dates with other guys and what you typically want to say for this is, yes, I've been going on dates with other guys, but I haven't really found a guy that is really special or that I really like yet. That's kind of a clue to him where you're not like in a relationship, you're not married, you don't have some of those things going on and you're not serious with some other guy or whatever and he's kind of open to the space where he can become that special connection for you. Other things that guys have done in, actually, I've experienced some of these things. I've talked to other guys that have experienced some of these things. When I was in the men's dating industry, I saw this happen a lot of times. One was you show up with a guy who's just a friend on a date or some kind of gathering or hangout that you're supposed to go to with the guy that you're dating or seeing or whatever. I don't know, for some reason, this seems like common sense, like something you really just shouldn't know that you shouldn't do, however, it happens all the time. Women do this and I think they do it to kind of flaunt or throw something into a guy's face and be like, look, this guy is going to replace you if you don't do whatever I want you to do or whatever, which is a really, really bad way to go. It's really manipulative, it's really painful and usually if a guy, you do that to a guy and he has any self-esteem whatsoever, he's just going to walk away from the situation completely and just be like, I don't want anything to do with her. But it can definitely make you not relationship material. Another one is if you're texting or communicating with other guys while you're in front of them. It's a huge no-no. In general, if you go on a date with a guy or you're hanging out with a guy, you should have your phone away the entire time and just make sure that everything's set up so that you don't need to be on your phone. If there's some kind of emergency thing going on where you need to have it in case of a call or whatever that's fine, however, my suggestion is that when you go on a date that you put your phone away and that you don't check it and that you're not looking at your Instagram and you're not seeing how many people liked your recent photo or whatever and you just put that away and especially don't be texting guys in front of them because that's a huge red flag. Another one is, okay, so men who are attracted to women, so men are attracted to women who other men want, but they don't want you to just throw that in their face. They don't want to feel like, in order to make him feel really attracted and feel like he wants to take you off the dating market. It's good to have a life where it's possible that you might end up meeting another guy or there's other guys that are in your circle, that are in your orbit, all that kind of stuff, but throwing it in his face and making it this big thing is a problem and it'll throw you into not relationship, not girlfriend, not marriage material really quickly and so you don't want to do that. If you get what I'm saying right now, if you get what I'm talking about, just say, I get it, say, I get it in the chat. All right, so the next one, the third one is, do you go and talk to other men when you're on a date with him? So I know this is another one that just seems like it's common sense to me, but you'd be surprised. I've seen, this happened, it's happened to me before, it's happened to one of my really, a really good friend of mine about six months ago when I was hanging out with him and his, this girl that he was kind of dating and she came and they're hanging out and she like went off and like started talking to these other guys right in front of us. And I'm just like watching it and looking and I'm like, okay, yeah, she's not relationship material and he's like, oh, well, you know, I know, and I'm like, no, really, she's not relationship material. She's over there flirting with other guys right now, like this is, she has no respect for you whatsoever. So that's definitely another thing that you don't want to do when you're on a date or you're seeing a guy. I know it sounds like common sense, but I see it's happened so often and there's a lot of women that I guess they just don't, they don't understand a lot of these things. So one, two, three, number four is, do you blame things on him that are your responsibility? So here are some examples of things women have done that I have personally seen clients or community members have told me about or men that I know have experienced. One is you get drunk and then you ask him why you let him, why, why he let you get so drunk, right? So you get really drunk and then you're like, why did you let me get drunk, right? So I was seeing a girl that did this a while, a long time ago where I was just like, eh, you know, we'll get some drinks or whatever and get some wine and she kept wanting to get wine and then later, like the next day or whatever, I was like, wow, you are a mess and she was like, well, why did you let me drink so much and you're just like, you know, it's immediately like palm face, face palm, face palm. So another one is you do or say something stupid to someone and then ask him why he didn't stop you. And I've seen this a bunch, I've seen this so many times, I've seen women do this so many times, it's ridiculous. Another one is you start an argument with him and then blame it on him. Don't do that, don't do that. Another one is you make out with another man and then ask him why he didn't stop you. I mean, this is just childish behavior really, like all these things, any time you're like blaming another person for your actions and what you do, it's the behavior of a child. That's what children do. And so if you're watching this and this is something that you do, just be aware that if he's a mature man at all, he's above the age of at least 25, maybe 30, he's not going to put up with this stuff. I know I know a lot of guys that have put up with stuff like this and I actually put up with it at one point in my life. I remember there's a girl that I dated back when I was like, I must have been 26 or something like that. And she, I mean, that was what 10, 11 years ago, she was like, like she went we went to this, we would go out, we would go out to like these house parties or whatever with her friends and she would go and like sit on other guys' laps and like, you know, talk to other guys and just all kinds of other stuff. And I remember I put up, I think I put up with it for like one, like one time. And then the second time I ended up, we ended up breaking up afterwards. What she ended up doing was she was like sitting on some guy's lap and like flirting with him. And I like went into the room and started like talking to some other girl because I was just like, okay, that's weird. And she came up and just like, she came up and like hit me in the nuts. And I was just like, oh, you know, I was just like, oh, you know, screw you. And so I like left and she like came begging after me and crying like, oh, come back, I don't want you to leave. I'm so sorry. And then we ended up going back to the, the, the party. And she like, she started, she, she actually, she passed out on the floor, face down on the floor. And I remember picking her up. It was like 15 minutes after we got back to the party. She just passed out face down on the floor. I know I date really quality. I used to date really quality women. She was actually, she was beautiful. She was one of those, those women that is just absolutely gorgeous, beautiful. And it's just a total train wreck. And that's, that's what, that's where I was back in those days. And so anyway, not relationship material. I was driving home that night thinking in my mind like, oh my God, I've done so much. I've spent so much time learning about like dating and relationships. And this is what I'm doing right now. This is what I've got myself into the situation of. It was, it was horrible. That was when I was in the men's dating industry. So, so yeah, it's the, the behavior of a child and it doesn't stop with blaming just him if he sees that you're constantly blaming other people or other things for why your life is the way that it is. So he might just check out and just be like, OK, what is she, you know, how does she talk? Right? Like, how does she talk? When you listen to what people say, you can kind of get a gauge for how they live their lives and what kind of thoughts and beliefs they have and what's going on with them. And if you're talking about, oh, you know, this is why my life is the way it is. And it's because of him and it's because of that. And it's because of this disease and it's because of all these things. And, you know, these are why my relationships haven't worked. And it's because of him and, you know, I'm the way that I am because, you know, I dated this one guy one time or because, you know, I had this boss and he really sucked, right? And you're constantly blaming and putting your focus on why your life or why things are the way they are because of another person. What ends up happening is that he just it's like, OK, so this is the future of what my life is going to be like with this person, right? You have to think like, OK, a lot of guys will do this if they're smart and mature as they'll think in their in their head. OK, so in the future, she's going to be doing this about me to other people. She's going to be telling other people that she's the way that she is and her life sucks because of me. And so he'll immediately go, OK, not relationship material. So the the last one here is and before we go over the last one, I just want to say, you know, if you're really serious about wanting to get into the relationship you've always wanted, make sure you go to the goddesscommunity.com and you can go and join our community there for free. Learn more about it over at the goddesscommunity.com. Pitching it. It's good stuff. All right. So the last one is do you show a lot of needy, clingy or severely insecure behavior? And so what this looks like so that you know what I'm talking about specifically is doing things like trying to make him talk to you and call you and be around you when he needs space. So people, most people tend to need some kind of space some of the time. And if he's like, hey, I need some space or he's like, you know, like just like, oh, I've got I'm really busy right now or whatever. And you're just like, no, we have to talk about this right now. We got out, you know, and you're just all over them and you do that a lot, right? Like it's it's normal for people to get insecure and clingy and, you know, needy sometimes. If you're doing it all the time, though, it becomes this really painful thing, right? Like guys feel like they want to be needed. Like that's absolutely certain. Like there are a lot of women out there who get a lot of attention from men because of needy behavior. However, what ends up happening is the guy gets exhausted from it. And he's just like, I can't I can't handle this anymore. It's just way too much too often all the time. And it just becomes a really big problem. And so that's one of the things that ends that one of the ways to communicate that you have really needy behavior is that another one is getting mad that he hasn't sent you a text message in two days. And I've talked about this in some of the other live streams. Most people, especially when you're first dating, but even in relationships many times, don't need to message back and forth more than one to three times a week. And especially if you're meeting with each other and you're going to hang out with each other and you're going to spend time with each other, you don't need to be texting and messaging back and forth all the time. And it's better if you're not, if you're leaving a little bit of mystery, you're leaving a little bit of what's going on in your life for when you get together. And then you can talk about these things and it's a better connection and it's more of a connection when you're there together. And he feels like he wants to know what's going on with you and are you still interested in him like you were before and all those kinds of things. And that only happens if you give him some space and you're not telling him everything and trying to communicate everything over text message or over the phone. You want to meet up in person because that's where the magic happens. Another way that you might show really needy or clingy or insecure behavior is by constantly. This is a huge one that I see women do all the time, especially in our community. And so you may want to pay attention to this constantly asking him. What's wrong? Are you mad at me? Are you talking to other girls? Did you get off the phone with me so that you can talk to someone else? Do you really love me? Why would you even date someone like me? Have you found someone better yet? It's just cringe. It's like massive cringe. And like I said before, sure, there's sometimes you need a little reassurance. We all do. But all the time, constantly, you know, it becomes this huge, painful thing for guys if they're constantly needing to reassure you. And yes, I love you. Yes, you're amazing. Yes, you're the most amazing girl I've met. Oh, you're so special to me, right? It becomes a chore. And it's not it doesn't feel good to him. It doesn't it doesn't become special to him. It's not about him giving you this gift of him and this gift of showing you that he thinks you're special. And instead, it becomes this obligation that he has to do. And you always want him. And we're going to talk about this in the next one. You always want him to be coming from a space of choosing to do these things. You always want him to be coming from a space of choosing. And so the last way to show kind of needy, clingy or severely insecure behavior is trying to manipulate him so that he'll do what you want him to do. And if you've watched some of my other live streams before, you know what I'm talking about here. It's called force versus power. And so in force, what you do is you try to make him do something. And this is always fear based behavior. You're always coming from a space of feeling like you're not good enough, like you don't have control. Like you're not worthy of having the type of relationship or having him do the types of things that you want him to do. And so you try to force him or manipulate him and into doing it. And when you're coming from a space of power, it's so much better because when he does these things, he does them from a space of freedom and of choice and you want him to be choosing to do these things instead of doing these things just to like appease you and make you happy. And because he feels like he's obligated to do it. Men value freedom and love being in love comes from freedom. That's where being in love comes from. It doesn't come from force. Being in love, a man being in love with you does not come from force. And if you're trying to control and manipulate him, you're just going to, you know, you're just going to end up freaking him out is what's going to end up happening. And he's going to feel like he doesn't want to do this all the time. And if he's kind of got if he's not really all that sure about you yet, he's going to end up feeling like he wants to back off and that you're not really relationship material for him. And so there was a woman the other day in our community who said that guys want crazy women. And I just want to speak to this really quickly because that's not true. Guys don't want crazy women. Crazy women do they do get attention, but mature, sane, stable women who make men feel really good. Those are the keepers. Those are the women that men look at and they go, she's relationship material. She's somebody that I'd want to be married to. She's someone that I'd want to raise my kids. She's someone that I'd want to be with forever. And as long as you're not kind of coming from all these crazy. So I'm going to go back over the five different ones real quick. And then I just want to remind you that we're going to do question and answer. So if you have any questions that you want answered, make sure to ask them now and I'll go over all of that as soon as I'm done here. So the first one is, did you cheat on your boyfriend, fiance or husband to be with him? Number two is, do you throw other men in his face? Number three is, do you go and talk to other men when you're on a date with him? Number four is, do you blame things on him that are your responsibility? And number five is, do you show needy, clingy or severely insecure behavior way too much? And so I just as a reminder before we get into question and answer, if you're really serious about getting into the relationship that you've always wanted, make sure that you go to the goddesscommunity.com and check out joining our community there for free. OK, so let's talk, let's, let us talk. Marty says, hello from Miami, hello, hello, hello, London, Canada, Alia, Thaley, Helena's here. Yes, I love it when Helena's on my live stream. She's, I told her that if she comes and gets on my live streams that I'll say sweet and wonderful things to her. And about her. And I just want to say that Helena has been just such an amazing and valuable person in my life, not just from kind of a business standpoint, because when we first kind of started working together, she was just such an amazing part of our team. And she, she did so many things and she really helped me kind of realize a lot about the, the women's dating industry that I didn't know, that I didn't understand, and kind of brought this softer side of her feminine energy to it so that it would, you know, we, I think we kind of make a really good team because I'm a little bit harsher and I'm a little bit more like in your face and like this is what's going on. And she's a little bit more softer and kinder and sweeter and she's a total sweetheart. And I think Helena is absolutely amazing and she's my best friend. And I love that she's here. And so thank you so much, Helena, for being here and being a part of the team and being my friend and always being so awesome and amazing. Thank you so much. So Idaho, Lorraine, Jennifer says hi, beautiful people. Rebecca says hi from Michigan. Hello, welcome back. Tammy says Georgia. Let's see, Baraka from Bahrain. Cool. New York from Mumbai, Rhode Island, New Hampshire. Some of these names, it's hard for me to even pronounce. I'm like Virenda, Virenda, Valerie, Beth, Monique from South Africa. It's so cool. So many people from all over the world. Lemonade from Uganda is saying hi. Seattle says hi. Brenda from Albuquerque. Margaret from Queensland. Wow. There's just, I mean, just all over the world. Nat Store from Caribbean, Trinidad and Tobago. I mean, it's just, it's amazing. Wichita, Marie from Wichita. Hello from England. Awesome. Doreen, Lena, Robin from Tennessee. I mean, there's just so many people from so, I mean, it's just, I feel so, I feel so blessed and so grateful to have so many amazing people from all over the world coming and watching our live streams and being a part of our community. And it's just so, it's so awesome and so cool to see all of this stuff. Greasy says that's an alarming statistic. She's talking about the, the one where half of, half of the relationships start with somebody cheating on somebody else. I know it is an alarming statistic. It's a really alarming statistic. Rebecca says, we met when I was still married, but my marriage was already ending. Okay. Just, I warned you. I'm just saying, I'm warning you about, I'm warning you about this. I mean, he might not care. Some guys don't care. You have to remember half, over half of guys end up starting relationships from cheating on somebody as well. So if you're married and you're cheating and you're seeing somebody else, it's like, you know, he might not care. You know, it kind of depends on where he's coming from. But a lot of guys, especially guys that are, are really like, you know, they want to have integrity and they want to be in a relationship where they're not with a cheater. They might not want, they, they might look at you and be like, oh, well, she was cheating on her husband to be with me or whatever. Because, you know, people lie. Lots of people, everybody's lying these days. Like, you know, if you say that you're married and it's ending. I mean, how would you, what would you think if you were talking to a guy and he's like, yeah, I'm still married, but it's ending. You know, like what would you think about that? Right? Like how would you think about him? Would you think that you, that's really what's going on? Or would you be like, okay, well, he's probably cheating on his wife. So cuff cake says, the guy I just started dating works out of town. He said he likes me, but we hardly talk while he's gone. What do I do to make him see what I feel like without being needy or nagging? I'm not sure what you're saying. How do you, how do I, so what do I do to make him see what I feel like? I, so what I'm guessing is you're asking, how do I show him how I feel? And one thing I want to say about this real quick is that showing somebody how you feel doesn't make them feel more attracted to you. In fact, it has nothing to do with how attracted they are to you and it's not going to make them feel more attracted. It's not going to make them start feeling attracted. We get a lot of women that kind of have this confusion going on where they look at a guy and they go, I'm really attracted to him. And so I need to go and tell him and confess to him how attracted or how in love or how whatever I am to him. And I need to express it to him so that he understands and he'll know that I'm serious and then he'll want to be with me or something. It goes something like that and it almost never works that way. And that's, that's not so, and you're saying without being needy or nagging, why would that be needy or nagging? I'm not, I'm not sure where you're going with this, but it doesn't sound like the place that you want to be going. It doesn't sound like the place you want to be coming from. So Rock feeds my soul says, I had a guy tell me we were better off as friends told me to see other people than a couple of weeks later. We reconnected and he asked me that I said I had seen someone and he got mad at me. Okay. Did you say what you told me? Well, I mean, first off, you know, if a guy says, if a guy says that if he's like asks you if you're seeing other people. One of the things that I tell you to say and the reason and I want to tell you why I tell you to say this. So if he's like, Hey, are you seeing other people? And you're like, what you want to do is you want to flip it around because you want to figure out why he's asking that. So you want to come up with kind of the different reasons why he'd be asking that in ways that spin it to something that are positive for you. Right. So if you want to be dating him and seeing him and he's like, Hey, are you dating and seeing other people? You want to flip it around and do what I was telling. I was telling talking to Helena about this earlier today. I was like, just, you know, always respond with a question. You always respond. You always answer a question with another question. You know, it was kind of a joke that we're talking about. I don't seriously mean to do that all the time. However, this is a situation where you do want to do that. And he what he's going to your what you want to say is why are you asking that? Are you saying that and you want to come up with reasons? Like, are you saying that because you want to date me exclusively? Are you saying that because you want to be my boyfriend? Why are you saying that? And if he's like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm not interested in that. I told you or whatever you just go, okay, well, then it's really, you know, it really doesn't matter then whether I'm dating other people or not. And you kind of want to leave it at that. I mean, if he keeps pressing you, you can tell him, but I just keep it at that. That way there's some mystery there, right? Like it's, I could be seeing other people and I might not be. And it's kind of none of your business. And if you want, like, unless you want to be dating me exclusively, and then that's a conversation that we can have because then we'd be in a relationship together. However, you told me that you didn't want that. So it, you know, I'm, and this is the thought. You don't want to be saying this specifically, but you're like, Hey, you know, this is something that you, you told me that you didn't want to be in this relationship. And so I'm just, I'm doing whatever I want to do. Right. And, you know, the, but like I said, the words that you want to say are kind of flipping it back and asking him those questions. So Harpist Los Angeles says, yes, put the phone away. Please, please get it. Got it. Evelyn gets it. Samira says she got it. So why did, so Mrs. Anderson says, why do men do it to us all the time? Why do men do what? I'm not, I was probably in contact somewhere and I'm not sure where it was. All right. Thaley says this is all common sense, but it's so funny to think people do these. It happens all the time. You'd think it was common sense, but as they say, common sense is no longer common. That's what my, that's what my, uh, when I was in the military, I had this instructor that used to say that to me all the time. He was from somewhere in Asia or something. And he'd always go, common sense is no longer coming. You know, and I was just like, yeah, yeah, I agree. Tammy says, I get it. Mary Stuart says, what about y'all guys? Well, I think that you should have standards and tests for guys as well. I think you should look at behavior. I don't think that you should let guys just get away with whatever. I think you should pay attention to that. Absolutely. So Melissa says, Reading, Pennsylvania. Cool. Thaley says, actually it's more than common sense. It's basic respect. It is respect. You're right. You're absolutely right about that. It's respect. There's a lot of people that just don't respect each other anymore. We've kind of gone to this place where we're doing this hookup culture thing and people just don't respect each other like they used to or like they should or whatever you want to say it. I don't know how people used to. We always talk about things, how things used to be. I don't know, you know, when was used to? I don't even know when that was. Cuffcake says, Are there any pages on how men should treat us? It seems like it's always our fault. You know, it's funny. I hear that a lot and, you know, absolutely there's pages on how men should treat you. I've written many articles about this. I've done videos about this. If you search, there's a video on our channel called something like be with a man who does these things or something like eight things or something like that. And absolutely, you should, it's not always your fault. And however, you're, you know, one of the things that we do is we speak to things that a lot of the women in our community want to hear about. And so I talk about these things because these are things where a lot of women, they don't get them, they don't understand them, and they want to hear about them. And so I talk to, I talk about these things. And if you, it's funny because in the men's dating industry, and if you go to some of the men's YouTube channels, you'll see it filled with guys that are like, Why aren't women learning this stuff? Why don't women have to change? Why is it always my fault? Why do I always have to do everything? And it's always, it's always, you know, there's always one person in every crowd that wants to ask about it. And it's just so, I always find it so amusing. And I guess you wouldn't see it if you're not a guy and you're not seeing those things. And it's just guys see the other side and they're saying the same thing. And everybody's, everybody wants to point fingers at the other, at the other gender. And what you want to do is instead of, you know, one, you want to make sure you're taking care of yourself and you want to make sure that you're learning about how men should treat you. And at the same time, you want to make sure that you're taking responsibility for yourself and that you're focusing on yourself because you're not going to be changing them. And there's already thousands and thousands of websites and programs out there about what men should be doing and they, it's a huge, you know, multi-million dollar industry on the men's side as well. So, Thaley says, people who shift, blame shift are often abusive. That's true. That is absolutely true. Bridget says, maybe it was trying to make you jealous. That's exactly what it was doing. Fatum says, what's your advice for a situation where a guy is hot and cold, but he has a good reason for it. We live on the opposite sides of the world, which is manageable, but comes with a big risk. I mean, if you live on opposite sides of the world, it's really difficult to, one, it's really difficult to manage things. And it's a, that's a big topic in and of itself, the whole kind of long distance relationship, especially when you're that far away from each other. It's a huge topic to talk about. And really, I mean, it's one of those things, there's not a whole lot that you can do about him being hot and cold on the other side of the world when you're not meeting up, when you're not having conversations like you would be. If you were meeting up and having in person, you're having a relationship like you would. If you were meeting up and being in person and what you should do is that you should be going out and making sure that, you know, like what I talk about, there's a video that I did called Make Him Value You so that he will do anything for you. And you wanna go watch that video because I explain in detail what you need to be doing so that you're coming from a space where you feel really good and you're really strong and you're coming from abundance and you're making sure that you're, you don't end up getting really needy or getting sucked into this thing. And I'm not sure what your situation is or why you're in a relationship with somebody on the other side of the world, but that's another thing that you might want to think about as well. Bridget says, true, Matt, we are all learning. I had this conversation with another woman, blaming. Yep. Shirley says, hi, Matthew, checking in from California. Hey, Shirley Brown, how you doing? Checking in from California. Bridget Black says, I was there clean, but above makes me more busier trying to create space. Daley says, but it doesn't take long to reply to a text. That's true. That's true. It doesn't take long to reply to a text. And, you know, it's one of those things where you think, like, you send a text message to somebody and immediately they just respond, right? And that's not always the way that it goes, right? Especially if he's a guy that's smart and he's kind of studied things and he knows that he doesn't want to come off as needy and clean, or, you know, he wants to make sure that he's communicating with you in an effective way and he doesn't want to say the wrong things or whatever. He might take some time and think about how he wants to respond to you. And so, I mean, yeah, it does take just a moment to respond. And at the same time, you know, if he's a busy guy and he's got a lot of things going on in his life, it's like, you know, it kind of depends on the situation. It just depends on what the conversation is about, what's going on with the two of you, how long you've been seeing each other, how his feelings are for you, how your feelings are for him, and a lot of other things that are going on in that situation. And that's why you want to make sure that you put yourself in a really good situation, which is why I recommend that you go to thegoddaskommunity.com and sign up for our community and check it out because we've got a lot of awesome material that we give to you in there that really empowers you and helps you become the kind of woman that is incredibly attractive to men and doesn't get caught up in things like, oh, it's been a few hours, it's been a day, and he hasn't texted me back yet. So, Thaley says, but that doesn't apply to long-distance relationships, right? Not sure what that was in context with. Krisha says, I'm a level too clear. Bridget says, I'm in a long-distance relationship. Camille says, checking his phone. All right, so Bridget says, thank you for the advice. You're welcome. Samira says, what is a good time frame to move forward when he has not reached out? It kind of depends on how long you've been seeing a guy, how long you've been dating him. My suggestion is that you're always moving forward and that you're always doing other things and filling up your life and dating and seeing other people. Once you get into an exclusive relationship, you don't want to be dating other people, but you want to have a full life and you want to have men and women that you're friends with, that you hang out with, and that you're connecting with and talking to and stuff because if you're so focused on him and you end up becoming really needy and clingy, it's going to just backfire in your face. Flower Child says, hello Matthew, has always great advice. Thank you, thank you. I'm a sucker for compliments. If you guys have compliments, you know I love to hear them and I just think you're amazing for giving me compliments, so thanks. Camille says, calling his mom, trying to infiltrate the fam. You're calling his mom? Who's calling his mom? Don't call his mom. That can be weird, that can be weird. Shirley Brown says, I do admit, I have to give my friends space. I don't want to show that I am clean to him. Please don't. Crescia says, we move, we move you Matt and your hair is so cute today. Thank, oh thank you. Thank you, I appreciate that. Appreciate that, just got to cut. Judy says, you always want to, want him to come from a space of choosing. I should quote that. Put it on a quote somewhere. Put it on a quote image. Everybody talk about it. Alright, so... What's the next one? I thought the same Matt from Freedom, thank you. Yep, true, true, true. Christina says, so this is more about observations of the woman's general behavior apart from us actual button pushing kind of testing. Yeah, these things would be red flags for sure. Absolutely, that's what we're talking about today. So Bridget says, that's what I'm doing now, stabilizing my life, good. Camila says, but they want to bang all the crazy ones. They might, because what it does is it gets, the crazy ones get his emotions running, right? And so having a, you know, there's nothing, first off I want to say there's nothing wrong with a little crazy, right? Like the masculine and feminine, masculine is like order, right? It's like this movement forward, it's this kind of structural thing and the feminine is kind of this chaotic, kind of all over the place, this movement, this flow, this, you know, like I'm doing like some kind of Tai Chi right now, I'm not even sure what I'm doing, but that's what the feminine is and that's why it's so attractive, that craziness is so attractive and there's nothing wrong with having a little crazy, right? We're all a little crazy. So Helena and I talk about this all the time. We're all just a little crazy. And so you don't want to get caught up on having a little bit of crazy because that's okay, there's nothing wrong with that and it can be attractive, right? It's mysterious. It's like this strange thing to a guy, but being crazy all the time or being mostly crazy, like that's a little bit too much, right? That's too much for a guy because then it becomes this, he ends up getting pulled away and distracted and his container ends up breaking because he's the masculine force and he's trying to hold it together and it's like, you know, hitting the size and just breaking apart and stuff. And so you want to chill a little bit. You want to bring some chill to your crazy is what I'm saying here. So Tammy Reed says, I went on a date with a guy, he kissed me and I said, not on the first date. And then he said, this was too much for him and left. Well, first off, I want to say that if you, if a guy tries to kiss you and you're not attracted to him or you're not feeling right or whatever, don't kiss him, right? However, if you're not kissing a guy and you like him and you're doing it because you have some kind of rule about not kissing him, there's a really good chance that he's going to feel rejected by it. He's going to feel like you're playing games. They call this kind of like the structured woman, right? A woman that has games and has this structure to her that has these rules that she plays along with and guys, a lot of guys are, they understand that. They get that, especially if they're in the men's community and there are millions of men who watch men's dating advice and so a lot of them know that women do this and a lot of guys either will one, play the game with you and just be like, okay, this is what she's going to do and I'm just going to do it and I'm just going to get what I want or two, what will end up happening is they will be like, I'm not putting up with this nonsense and I see this being further in our relationship and I'm just going to leave and so a lot of guys will do that. This is Scandinavia on the house. Cool. So Taz says, you just went all gushy-eyed and shy saying hi to Helena, yeah. Bridget says, same Matt, you help us on masculine side of things. I'm glad. Loreen says, Helena is indeed a great woman. I love her advice. I love her advice too. She's great. Helena says, oh, so sweet, that made my day. I'm glad that made your day, Helena. Shirley Brown says, I hung out all day with friends on the 4th of July at a picnic and he was texting me all day of when I will be home. Should I have told him? I don't know. It depends on what kind of guy you're talking about, what kind of a relationship you have with them and what, you know, it depends on a bunch of different things, right? From one standpoint, it's like, you know, I mean, you might just be like, yeah, I don't even know when I'm going to be home. Number two, you know, one of the things that we were talking about earlier with, you know, looking at things that guys are doing, like, why is he so concerned about when you're going to be home, right? Like, one, it indicates a high level of attractions, which means that he's probably pretty attracted to you. And two, what it kind of indicates is a bit of neediness there, right? Because he's like doing exactly what we talked about in number five, in test number five, where he's, you know, trying to figure out what's going on and he, you know, needs to kind of, he feels like he's, he probably feels like he's a little out of control and he wants to know what's going on with you and so that might be, that might be something to look at from your perspective as well. So, Jupini says, from Israel but a Filipina. Nice. Le'e says from Kuwait. I mean, there's just so many people from all over the world. Taaz says, hugs from Ireland. Cool. Aloha from Honolulu, Cynthia says. Mary says, hello, sir, from Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Cool, I've been there. I've been to a lot of these places. Haven't been to Ireland yet. Haven't been to Ireland yet. I want to go there. Marty says, you're awesome, Matt. Your male perspective is much appreciated. You are, thank you, thank you for saying that and you are welcome from my male perspective. Yvette says, hello, I'm Yvette from the Bahamas. Love your sessions, awesome. Camila says, you lose them the way you get them. Okay. Yeah, that's what we're talking about, number one. Shirley Brown says, Matthew, you have a very lovable spirit. Thank you for being so caring. Aw, thank you. Thank you, I appreciate it. Bridget says, true, Matt, I spin it from a positive rhetorical question. All right. Camila says, I have a question. Does making a guy jealous really work for increasing attractiveness? Or is it a bad mood? Yes, it does. It does. It does work from a stance of creating attractiveness. However, you have to be incredibly, incredibly careful with it if you are trying to use it in a space of trying to be more attractive. Because a guy doesn't want to, and excuse my French, think that you're a hoe, right? He doesn't want to feel like you're running around sleeping with lots of guys and or trying to manipulate him. If he feels like you're trying to use it to make him jealous, he might fight against it because a lot of guys know that that's a manipulation tool that you can use to try to get them to feel more attracted to them. It can backfire in your face really, really easily. It's generally speaking not something that I recommend that you do because it can backfire too easily. A lot of women take it to the extreme and do things that they shouldn't be doing when they try to do it. This happens with a lot of the stuff that I talk about. One of the things that Helena talks a lot about is leaning back. They're leaning back out of their chairs and stuff, and they're wondering why these guys are leaving and the guys are like, oh, I didn't think she was interested. It was a conversation we had not too long ago in our community where this woman was like, yeah, I found that because it was one of the livestreams that I talked about where a lot of women will lean too far back and not contact a guy at all. They're like, I am not ever contacting him. He has to contact me every single time we talk. And then the guy ends up being like, oh, I'm not even, I don't even think she was interested in me, which is why he ends up disappearing, which can happen a lot. Bridget says, I found Cam bad moves unless it was agreed and playfulness. Stephanie says, why do our husbands abandon us after years of marriage? So husbands will abandon you after years of marriage because they feel a lot of pain. And they feel like they can't live up to the expectation that they have on them for being the man or the husband in the relationship. And they feel like it's so bad being in the relationship that they have to get out of it. Most men don't abandon women in relationships. It's actually women are two times more likely women end relationships 67% of the time. So men end relationships 33% of the time or whatever. And so it's usually women who end relationships and men are the ones that usually just like put their head down and just keep going even if they're in a relationship that is bad. Especially in marriage, that's bad. And so if a guy leaves a marriage after years of being together it's probably not something that happened immediately. It's probably something that accumulated after over years. And one of the things you might want to look at is how his parents dealt with things. How his parents dealt with being in a relationship. Are they the type of people that always gave up on it? Is he the type of person that's always given up on his previous relationships? Or is it something that just became so painful to him that he decided that he needed to leave it in order to not feel really really bad anymore because it just became torture to him to be a part of it. So Stephanie says what does it mean when a guy pulls away when you establish friends with benefits? Does that mean he's getting feelings for me? Well it could mean a whole bunch of different things. I'd have to hear a little bit more context for it. When you say you established friend with benefits, do you mean that you ended up sleeping together? Because if you're talking about that that's a little bit different than establishing just the communication that you're in friend with benefits. A lot of times men will pull back a little bit after sleeping with a woman because their testosterone level changes and they end up feeling a need to actually calm down and relax and that there's kind of this thing that guys get when they haven't had sex for a while where they start pursuing and going after a woman and it's like this biological thing that they do and once that gets relinquished there's kind of this open space and they're like oh they aren't feeling that need to immediately connect and push forward and kind of move things forward because they hit this kind of goal that they had this thing that they're trying to get to and so they kind of a lot of times will lean back and relax until they start feeling that again which they will and so it kind of depends on more about what the situation is going on there. So Shirley Brown says Matthew should I continue with my long distance relationship he texted me beautiful poems and how he loved me every day but my needs are not being met by him yeah I mean it's it's hard to say you know are your needs going to be met by him is there a possibility of your needs being met by him I mean if a long distance relationships are really really difficult I mean they're so difficult and you need to have if you're in a long distance relationship there needs to be a continual basis of connection where you're planning on actually meeting up in real life in person at least at least like one or two times a month and if that's not there it's really really difficult for you to maintain that and so you need to think about I'm not going to give you your answer on that one you need to think about it and think about what your needs are and where this relationship is going and when you're going to get your needs met and if you're going to get your needs met and if they're not something that you really need to think about and making sure that you're prioritizing yourself and valuing yourself and valuing your needs and your desires so Sheila says yes LDRs can be strained even on the same coast yep it is true that they can that they can Bridget says thank you I understand abundance now from last video Connie Confer says how long should you wait if he says he wants a future but has depression and anxiety and wants to get healthy emotionally and mentally first first thing I'd say is that you should not wait that is my suggestion is that you should continue to see other people you know I don't know what your situation is if you're in a relationship with him or started dating him or what I don't think you should wait I think you should start seeing other people and you should let him get healthy on his own time because you don't know how long it's going to be whether it's going to be six months or two weeks or five years and you know do you want to wait for that I mean it's one of those things it's like you know if he's a really great guy that's one thing but at the same time you need to make sure that you're not setting yourself up for failure and heartbreak and being like oh I being all angry because you waited so long for this guy who ended up going off and you you know my suggestion is that you go off and meet other guys and find out if you can find another guy that's that's good because it'll if he really wants to be with you what it'll end up doing is it'll make him feel like he wants to get better faster right and instead of waiting and letting it get worse or whatever or taking his time you want him he needs to step up and make sure that he's doing what he needs to do in order to get better and a lot of times women are that catalyst for men to do that I mean women are the catalyst for men doing all kinds of things all kinds of stupid stuff all kinds of stupid stuff from singing on the top of rooftops to you know murdering people to going to war to you know beating up their best friends to all kinds of things like men will do all kinds of things for women and so you want to make sure that you know he's doing if he wants to do that there's some motivation there for him to do it and you're not just waiting around forever for him to get better learning oats as good info thank you so much alright guys I gotta get going here we are at the top of the hour so thank you so much for being here with me it was great speaking with everybody today I really appreciate you being a part of our community if you are really serious about getting into the relationship that you've always wanted make sure that you go to thegoddiscommunity.com and check out our joining our community there and you can go check it out there's a lot of great stuff that you can get from joining our community and we will help you as much as we can get into the relationship that you want as fast as possible with personalized help we've got a bunch of programs excuse me a bunch of programs that you get for free when you join it's free to join and and if you want to stay a part of our community there is a fee for that so you should go and check it out thank you so much for being here I really appreciate everybody that's here that's allowing me to be on your journey to creating the life and the relationships that you want and trusting me and trusting the advice that I give and coming from all over the world and watching this so thank you so much and I appreciate you and I will speak with you again soon take care and bye