 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Lakeview Valley. It's basically like Stardew Valley except you're a murderer and you're- no, it's- it's nothing like Stardew Valley, sorry. I mean, the name is similar, it's in a valley. Oh my god, he looks terrifying. Sex, no, that won't be happening. A nice mullet would suit him and that goofy little mustache. He looks like a stereotypical cartoon villain. Okay, fine. He's in escape convict apparently. Alright, his name is Murderer. I just like being upfront with people, you know? Speaking of being upfront, sorry to interrupt you there past Kevin, but I just wanted to quickly let you know I'll be doing a stream with the folks over at Two Point Hospital on their stream channel, the link will be in the description. That'll be tomorrow, Tuesday the 25th, 4pm GMT, up until 8pm GMT, so if you want to come by we're doing some fun things over there. But yeah, other than that, I'll just let you watch the video, sorry for interrupting, back to you past Kevin and Murderer, of course. Look at him, he looks so fucking cartoony evil. Why would they even allow him into the valley? You okay back there? You haven't said a word, this whole time we've been driving, I'd be so pissed if the bus driver said that to me. It's like, that's why I didn't take an Uber, I don't want to interact with anyone. Trouble with love maybe? Oh yeah, this is the part I just jump off the bus. Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with him? Jesus Christ, I think we crashed. There's tons of blood all over the place. This is why the bus driver shouldn't be making conversation. I still remember to thank the bus driver though, please. Okay, we're off to a fantastic start. Is this a hammer? I have the hammer. Oh god, he's fighting back. No, hold on. Oh jeez, I'm covering your blood. I didn't expect this, I just wanted to knock him out. Dude, you've already killed one person today. How are you gonna explain this with self-defense? It's not gonna work. I keep fecking missing him. Whoever's in that tree, can you help me out? Oh, welcome to Lakeview Valley. I don't know if they're gonna welcome me when there's this trail of blood behind me. Like they're gonna blame me for the other Murderer now too. Oh no, oh no, he's dying, he's dying but he's running away. Come back. Okay, I think I hit him again before we made it to the next screen. Continue, restart. You know what? I think I'll restart that day if that's possible. Oh, Jesus, that went bad. Look, if you don't want me to murder someone, don't leave a hammer just on the floor. I still want to murder him though. Oh my god, he's so scared to do the villain ever. Okay, I got two solid hits there. There's another attack though that like slows down. I don't know what it does. Like what is happening? Am I dead? I think I'm rolling away. He's looking around like, oh, how do I explain this? I should have just continued when I fucking murderized him offscreen. Alright, I'm just gonna walk away. Not because I want the bus driver to live, but just because I don't want to make the entire video about beating up a bus driver. Oh, this old lady should do. All this resident here. Surely she'll be easy for me to take then. Come on, she won't fight back, will she? Yeah, she's just running away immediately. Okay, please don't get help. How many times do I have to hit her? How weak is my guy? Oh, fucks sake. I knew you were in trouble. Get ready to pay for your crimes and here's a fucking sword. Okay, this was a mistake. I'm dead. Okay, let's try not murdering immediately this time. Look at her, she's just going back to the fountain. She's like, I'm not letting that bastard affect my day. Okay, I just looked up some weapons. The sword is found in the cabin in the middle of the lake. Let's go find that. You stop right there. I didn't actually do anything this time. You must be the new owner of that house up north. Glad to finally meet you. Okay, this interaction is going a lot better. Oh, is that my key? Just head north of the lake until you find a giant gate. You can't miss it. I'll be seeing you. Okay, good. That means the lake is up this way and I can go get my sword. Okay, this is a problem. Why is there a cow blocking the path? I appreciate the cones being put down. Okay, they can't seem to move the cow. I'll try and help them with that later. Where is the lake? Is this the lake? Is that my house? I heard something when I went past there. Okay, probably just the wind. Great, I've become a Skyrim guard. Oh, a map. Thank God I might be able to actually find my way around. I am here. My house should be up here then around all these flies, I guess. And that's the island I need to get to, but I don't know how to get to that. Okay, I thought he was going to stop me or something. He looks like he's ready for a Pokemon battle. Private property, go away. Oh, no. Oh, no, he's got a shotgun. I don't want to fight this guy. I'm out of here. I'm leaving. I'll deal with you another time. I want to kill everyone in the town. That is my goal. But I got to start with the weak. Oh, he can swim? No, he can't swim. He can just walk on the lake bed. This doesn't seem like a good idea, but I really want that sword. What the hell is that thing? Go away, go away. Okay, I think I'm drowning. I don't know what to do. God damn it. How do I get up onto the little island? Fexic, I'm dead. There's got to be a way to this island. Is this my house? Oh my God, it's huge. I'm so lucky. Maybe not super lucky too early. I can't do a statue valley where I just go to sleep 20 minutes after waking up. Why are these creeps hanging out in trees? Hello. I'm telling me to go into the lake. I have a bad history with the lake. Okay. I scarecrows talking to me, I think. Okay, I probably shouldn't attack it. It's probably going to show up in the middle of the night or something. It looks so empty, even though it looks big enough to fit a villager in. It seems to be open at midnight, and I think it's hungry. What are you talking about? Like, I actually want to know. It would be nice to know where I can dump a body. Maybe it's the thing in the tree? I don't know. I'll bring a body back for you as soon as I can. A little motorbike for sale. Can I buy that? 200 in cash. Do I have enough? Yes, I don't even know if I have enough. Looks like you're a little short on the money. I mean, if I killed him, I could just take it. Is there anyone else home? Doesn't look like it. Yeah, it looks like it's pretty abandoned. I think this might be my chance to kill. I hope he fights back, though. Like, I usually don't want them to, but if he runs, it seems to be hard to kill in this game. Oh, fuck, he is fighting back. He is fighting back. Come over here. Come over here. He's coming too close to me. Oh, no. Oh, no. His wife is home or something. It's just boys playing in the air. Boys will be boys and all that. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't get the sheriff. Don't get the sheriff. His wife just walked by. She did not give a shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh, for fuck's sake, he's going to get away, isn't he? I need a better weapon. Oh, wait, he bled out. Okay, well, that's probably a good thing. Um, what do I do now? I'm pulling him. He seems to be cooperating. Can I just dump him in the lake? Come on in, buddy. Okay, he's gone. I should probably wash off, shouldn't I? Oh, wait, I think I'm wounded. Oh, shit. I'm just out for a swim to ignore me. I'm too obviously a villain. It couldn't be me. Like, it's always someone you wouldn't think of, you know? It's never the most likely suspect, is it? Oh my God, I'm bleeding so bad. I hope there are no sharks in this lake. She's just watching me. Should I leave? I'm gonna leave. Oh, for fuck's sake, I bled out. Shit. I'm gonna have to get a better weapon because I can't get past the first day without it. Okay, there's a knife found on the top of the rock shelf in the woods. Enter the woods from the north. There are many snakes. Oh, for fuck's sake. Why do I have to earn things? Why can't it just be handed to me? What the hell? I think this person may have been dead before they got hit by the bus. Okay, I'm carrying the body away. I don't know if I should be doing this. You look like a decent person, so let me give you a piece of advice. Don't trust the town folk. I don't trust them anyway. That's why I was murdering them. Yeah, I have a feeling she was murdered before she got hit by the bus. That's my thinking anyway. But that's none of my business. I'm just a murderer after all. What would I know? Oh, football. Yeah. Oh wait, he's in there too. I'll float too, I bet. Did you know serial killers usually start out by practicing on little animals? Think about that. What's that supposed to mean? This woman is looking for a cat. Is he telling me to murder the cat? I just want a good weapon. Like for self-defense and also murdering people. Who owns this house? Let me in. We don't socialize when I'm popular people. Well, then I'll just come back and kill you. That is, if I can ever get this murdering thing down, it seems pretty difficult. Oh shit, snakes are fast. Oh my God, I'm gonna die, aren't I? I'm gonna fucking die. Okay, this is definitely where I should be, but also definitely where I shouldn't be. I found the knife. Okay, can you stop? Can you just- Could you just stop for just a second? Ah, for fuck's sake. Okay, I've got the knife. I don't know why I'm going the other way because it'll draw even more snakes on me. I'm never gonna make it back to the hospital. Stop it, please. Just give me a chance. The game is loading. Stop hitting me. Run to the hospital. Run to the hospital. Oh, get him instead. Jesus Christ, it has an out for me. This doesn't look good. This doesn't look good. This doesn't look good. But I'm not bleeding as much as I was earlier and I lasted like surprisingly long last time. Oh no, now I'm bleeding a lot. Someone suck the venom out. Okay, I'm almost there. That is the hospital. Yeah, treat me. Yes. Oof, I feel much better now. Okay, I need to go rest in my house because I cannot do that again. That was too stressful. And then I can cause some mischief tomorrow. Are you strong enough to get an apple from the tree? I'll make sure to tell everyone how strong you are. Oh God, I gotta do it. I gotta impress this kid. Okay, I don't think this little bottom knife is gonna do it. Sorry, little Billy. Jesus Christ, I tried to sleep and this guy came into my house. Fuckin' hell. Trust the frog. There's still time for a sleep tight murderer. Wait, were you accusing me of being a murderer? Just saying my name. I need that clarified. Well, that was fucking terrifying. I wasn't expecting that. Ah, well, better sleep soundly. I've got a lot of murdering to do tomorrow. Oh my God, what the hell happened here? Goddamn Reggie, this is a real mess. Oh, it's from the bus. Oh yeah, I forgot. I moved the body up there. Who did he say he was talking to? Oh yes, murderer. It's like, hmm, might just be Sheriff's intuition, but I've got a hunch. Hmm, I wonder if our plan is already ruined. Oh, fuck, what are they up to? Need to crap. Okay, thanks. I think the sheriff investigates every night, so the bodies have to be hidden. Morning murderer slept well like a baby. I'll get out of your hair now. Is that a balding joke? All right, I believe the game is saved now. So, well, first of all, I need a crap. Well, this is just terribly unpleasant, isn't it? All right. Well, I want to go try and steal that motorbike. Okay, that was easy. It's the noisiest getaway vehicle ever, but it's mine now. Can I hide it behind the house? Oh, that fell off. Okay, you know what? It'll be fine up there. They won't see it. Oh, for fuck's sake, the cow's in the way. Can I get around? Well, I murdered the cow for no fucking reason. Hopefully they'll just move the cow now that it's dead. I'm sure there was another way of doing that, but oh well, we'll never know. Hey kid, how's your day going? He's a big old smile. He's totally over that murder already. Choose your fighter. I didn't really want to play. This one kind of looks like me. I don't know how to play. I don't think he does either. I have no idea how to play that game much like most games that I play. That's for all the snakes where you can see all my blood all over the place. Oh, I'm digging up graves. Yes, I'm finding riches. Okay, well that was fun, but I can't carry both things, so I'm just going to wander off with my knife now. Oh my God, who was this? This seems like a perfect opportunity for a murder. Hey there, stranger. My name is Matthew, but you probably already knew that. I'm not exactly a nobody. You're out here sunbathing in a full clothing out in the woods. Ooh, I'm really sweaty. I just want to get out of these clothes. They're so limiting. Will you consent to intercourse with Matthew? No. He's like... Yeah, I was just joking. I will consent to killing him though. No, don't hit me back. No, no, no, no, no. This is bad. You don't want to hit me. I know a cool dead end over here. Come here to kill the graveyard. Oh, he's dead. Okay, great. Oh, but I'm bleeding. All right, leave the knife here. I'll be back. I got to go get cleaned up. Don't die for once. Don't die. There's just pools of blood leading to all of my crimes. Well, to be fair, my first one was just a crime against snakes. That was a bit of a hate crime, but I don't think the people care about that. I don't know if all this running is good for me. Body found. Shit. And my knife is right there with it. He's like, what seems to be the problem is blood pours from me. All right, back to the forest I go. I don't know if I should return to the scene of the crime or not. But hey, look, the cow's been moved. So that's good. Oh, he wants to paint my house. Now is a good time. Paint it red. I have a feeling like there's going to be a lot of red all over my property and it'll just help with a few explanations. I don't have any money. You want money in exchange for these goods and services? No comment about the cow being murdered or anything. Oh, no. Where's she going? Is she saying about the body? She's going to tell on me. Maybe I can go hide the body before they get there. She's a slow old woman. She'll never make it in time. But where can I hide the body? Oh, this is a problem. Oh, fuck the sheriff's on the way. Okay. I was just going the opposite direction. Actually, this is a wrong turn. I was looking for my house. I'm new to these parts. I'm so screwed. Oh, you bitch. Look at here, little smug face. Easy bank. I think I can get some money here. He said like a loan or something. You see, you're eligible for valiade every day for a week. Yes. Give me money. I can't stop thinking about Matthew. Why, why did he? How did you know that already? He realized that he died like an hour ago. You didn't even take the day off work. I'm sorry. This isn't your problem. Just take this. Give me a hundred bucks. Now now murderer. I'm pretty sure you already claimed your daily money covered in her husband's blood. I wonder will I ever get my knife back? I miss it so much. They're not even going to clean the bus. They just leave it there. Like I will let the rain take care of this. Oh no, where are they all running to? I think Tana's realized. Maybe she was talking about something else. She didn't realize that her husband was murdered. But look at the time. It's almost getting ready for bedtime, right? Everyone, we should all forget about this. Like this seems to just brush off yesterday's death. Can they not do it again? I wonder is everyone rushing off to see the body? Like could I trespass on that guy's property now? Or is he still guarding it with his shotgun? Oh no, he's still there. Frank doesn't like people from outside the valley. Frank has some trust issues. I think he's in danger to the valley. That weapon should be taken from him. He seemed like a much more balanced person to wield a shotgun. Just saying, oh, you are a poor judge of character. I have a feeling that they're going to arrive in the middle of the night with pitchforks and they're going to kill me. Wait, what are you doing? Looking at my house like that. I've got a stick and I'm not afraid to use it. Hey murderer, how's it going? She said it'd be great to get to know you better. I'll stay on your guard, murderer. Committed a lot of good crimes today. You stole the bike and you murdered someone. You know, this bag of trash. I'm just going to bring it out to the road. I don't want it on my property. That's how garbage collection works, I believe. She's just watching me do it. Here, a gift. This is what I think of you. Just get naked. All right, much better. I'm going to go out and see her again. Just trying to rack up as many crimes as I can in one day. She doesn't seem to care, though. Can I clean my clothes? I would really like to know that. Oh, I can. Thank God. Okay. Now I don't look suspicious. Look at the state of them. Ah, yes. Just having a good time swimming. It is now nighttime. Time to return to bed. Oh, I'm very interested to see what the sheriff will say today. And I love how I didn't lock my door. I didn't learn a lesson from last night. Damn, let's see what we have here. Jesus, it looks brutal. Like all the graves are dug up. There's a knife there, blood everywhere, leading all the way to the hospital where I'm probably the only person to get treated for wounds that day. Two pieces of evidence. What was the other one? And several fingerprints on it. Oh, no, I didn't know you had that sort of technology here. Nobody reported any suspicious behavior. The guy running around in blood soaked clothes. The guy going in with wounds to his chest. The guy stripping down and running around his house in a panic. Oh, I found a weapon that might have been used in a previous murder. And there were fingerprints in conclusion. Don't say me. I'm innocent. Hungry. Good thing I have this mushroom. Well, stomach filled, everyone. What a fantastic day to be alive. I'm going back into the forest. Oh, there goes the sheriff. God, he's a fast one. Or maybe I'm seeing things. I don't know. Either way, I think that was a good time to end it. Jesus Christ, this game is weird, but I like it. If you want to see more, please let me know because I'd be totally down to ruin this community more. I think I've finally gotten the hang of it. I got a murder under my belt. I've got a robbery under my belt. A streak under my belt. I guess really there was nothing under my belt in that one. What a bizarre little game though. It does seem like fun. I hope you guys liked it and I hope you want to see more because I'd be looking forward to playing more of this. But yeah, let me know if you do want to see more. I appreciate you watching. Even if you don't want to see more and you think, you know what? I hate this guy. I'll never watch again. I still appreciate you and I hope to see you next time. Hopefully you'll change your mind. Bye for now.