 With amazing cinematography, a timeless score, fantastic acting, and great direction, Jaws is considered a classic that will never really fade away. But we're talking about Meg, The Trench, a sequel to Meg, a film that faded away right after it hit theaters. And this sequel definitely lives up to that hype. Jason Statham is back, baby, to once again take on a Meg, but not just one. This is a sequel, so naturally he's going up against two, three, three for the second movie, that makes sense. And these Megs are bigger, they're stronger, and they're for some reason much more cartoony than they were the first time around. I don't know why the first Meg made a ton of money. I think there are a couple other returning cast members from the first, but again, I completely forgot everything about that film the moment I left the theaters, outside of Big Shark. If you're looking for this movie to be a little bit zanier, a little bit more fun, you should probably look somewhere else. This movie kind of tries that a little bit towards the later act, but a good chunk of this film takes place in The Trench. You can't, you can't blame it, it's called The Trench, so they're down there and that's unfortunate because that stuff looks really bad. They're of course in front of a green screen, that's to be expected, but it looks like they're in front of a green screen, the effects work is really, really bad. Not helping matters, we got a little girl in this film that's extremely obnoxious, she makes every bad decision you possibly can, we love that, we love that in movies when characters don't do what they're told and they constantly go against the better judgment of everyone else on earth. Jason Statham's character Jonas, I guess he has a name, who cares, he's gonna be playing parental figure in this most of the time, looking after the girl and making sure she's not in harm's way, spoiler, she's always in harm's way, and then the rest of the time he's gonna be going up against the secret shadow agency that's doing some sort of mining and whatever down in The Trench, they're up to no good. Why? Why did we do, why do movies with a premise of a giant Megalodon, three of them, have to have some bizarre separate storyline that kind of ties together but never really feels resolved and just opens up a bunch of questions. You already have the plot, three giant mags get out of The Trench and they're gonna start eating everyone, that takes way too long, we're talking about last 20 minutes or so of that film, I feel like that's what the first movie did, the Megalodon didn't start terrorizing a little island until the final act, not even the final act, the final 10 minutes of the final act, and that's what we have again here. Everything you see in the trailer is either the first two minutes of the movie or the last 15. I thought I was gonna fall asleep in this movie and I've never fallen asleep once in a film but I was kind of like doing this thing, like hitting myself a little bit. It's almost like I was driving for seven hours and it's three in the morning and I'm starting to veer off the road, like come on out and stay with me, stay with me, that's the level of torture it was to get through this film. And it's not because there isn't action, there's a decent amount of Megalodon on screen but I don't give a shit about anyone in the film. I just don't, they can all die. I went to the bathroom at the hour in Tenmark, this is a almost two hour film because of course it is, and as I was washing my hands I just thought I could leave. I could leave and no one would be any the wiser. I could put out the review, nothing would change in the slightest. The last act isn't gonna save this thing but I went back. I went back and watched Jason Statham drive around in his jet ski and throw spear bombs into the mouths of these fucking things. I watched as he slid down the dock and it started to break. I watched as little dinosaur pop things were running around. It's miserable. It's a miserable time. I think the only real saving grace in the final section of the film is the director wisely cast some females with pretty solid assets. Pretty... Let's just say this, the sharks aren't the only large thing you see on the beach and I was okay with that. I'm pretty easy to please but this movie just didn't do it for me. It wasn't dumb enough to go Sharknado route. It wasn't serious enough to fall on the shallow side of things. Instead it was just a boring mix of both. An amalgamation of all the lamest tropes and things we've seen a million times over. The plot's nonsensical. The character motivations are completely off the wall and we just have all these lead characters that are so dull. And unlike a lot of other movies, most of the problems they face in this could just be resolved by not swimming in the ocean when there's giant fins coming out. It's not that hard to see these things. It's even easier to just go on the beach. You know? There's a good amount of time when these idiots are just like, oh look there's three giant sharks swimming around. I better slowly paddle my fat ass onto the shore. No! I will give this movie credit for some of the creative shots in this. I really liked the POV of the mouth chomping on people. There are a few shots like that that I really liked. However, this is a PG-13 movie. It might as well be PG for all I care. I don't remember any sort of swearing. There's very little blood, if any at all, and all of the kills are so incredibly tame. The level of carnage in this film with three giant megalodons is pathetic. Well those are my thoughts on Meg 2, the trench. Movie that's got nothing going for it and the one decent scene is the first three-minute introduction that's probably been released at this point for free on YouTube. So just watch that and walk away. And again, the effects are cartoonish. They're laughably bad. The Flash looks at this and says, you know what? That's a bit much. That's a bit unfinished. And I can forgive cartoony effects if the movie matches it, but the tone of this is not there. It's not silly enough. There's not enough exciting over the top extreme motions to match the cartoonish nature of everything else. It's an all-around miss. Do not waste your money on this one. But if you did, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Do you fully disagree? Are you like, Adam, this is Meg 2, the trench. Peak cinema. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. Meg was already the gold standard of shark films. This took it up seven notches. I think that that's probably a bit much. You might get some enjoyment out of it. I just didn't. Like the video if you had a good time. If you really like this show, please make like a shark and take a bite out of that subscribe button. I post movie content each and every week. I'd love to have more people stick around. Now, if you excuse me, I'm heading to the beach now that I know there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Thanks, Meg 2.