 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a Coke and now Claudia Mama Got any more safety pins Claudia take the pins out of your mouth They're in the little box on top of the dresser. I hand your form I suppose that means I'm to come in and give them to you. You're doing anything else. Would it matter? All right, here I am at your service. Thank you. You've got two pins. What do you want with more? I am experimenting. You are eh? I think that with a couple of extra pins I can get his shirt held down Look Claudia babies have been pinned into diapers for centuries two pins have always been enough Mama you trying to stop the wheels of progress? No, but I'm against fruitless experiments Oh, I suppose that's what every genius was told and he tried to find a new way to do old things Hey keep stealthy Hey mama, where are you going? Does it take two of us to pin on one diaper? I thought you'd be interested in watching how skillful I've become Come here now snookums. I'll just roll you over on your tummy roll is right. He's a fat little thing You know, I don't know what's supposed to be so beautiful about babies If I walked around with rolls of fat where he hasn't no one to look at me twice On a baby. Everybody makes a big fuss. Don't complain as long as he's healthy. He's very handsome, too I refuse to talk about it anymore. He doesn't care what you think. He knows his grandmother loves him doesn't he? He hasn't said a word When are you going to learn to talk funny face? Aren't you ever satisfied Claudia? I'm satisfied So satisfied. I'm afraid even think about it Now snookums you're all pinned up Claudia. This has got to stop. What has calling that child snookums Skeezix and funny face. It's time. We called him something. I'm calling him lot. Well, that's what I mean poor child He'll get shell shot. Oh Skeezix what a name. We've discussed a name for him. I just last night it But it's not as easy as it sounds. My other people managed to find one. We are not other people So I'd rather not call him anything and call him by the wrong name No name would be wrong compared to what he's been hearing. Oh poor little scoogums grandma says you've got to have a name What name would you like? Oh, I don't think anybody be able to spell that the minute David comes home I'm going to see that he takes the bull by the horns can't decide just like that mama like what just like that You've got to think about it more. You have been thinking about it for weeks If you don't make up your minds just like that you never will well that child will get an inferiority Complex growing up without a name. He already has not and what's the matter with that? Norton. Oh Mama, I hope you'll wear it well and do it justice. He will but he has to have a front half, too Let me know when you've decided. I'll keep dinner waiting. It's your idea. So you have to help us your son. So you have to decide Hello, hello Mr. Norton senior come in come in come in. We were just talking to you about junior Where do you think we are? I don't know where I think you are I suppose keeping that child from getting a decent day's sleep Oh, hello all hello you all am I going to get kissed? I thought you were telling me last night It's not sanitary to kiss. That is baby. Oh, you're different very so kiss me and shut up Hello mother before I go down to the third time One greeting for your son David. Hi, yes, ski boy. How you doing? He's doing fine and David listen before you do anything else. There's something mama says you have to do something else I have to do much more important than kissing Claudia more important to mama, but not to me darling I'm going to disinherit that grandson of mine if you don't give him a name this minute What does fatty need a name for for exactly that reason fatty? Terrible my grandson. You see David mom is getting neurotic on the subject Oh, he won't have to do his name for years. So what's the hurry? It's the principle of the thing. Well, give him a principle Claudia Yes, that's the principle thing. Where's your hat David? I'll cut up lots of little pieces of paper and put a name on each and you can pick one up Say that's a good way to do it seeing as well. We decide not a column is going to stay with him for his whole life It is a responsibility, isn't it? What's in a name a rose by any other name? That's fine for flowers, but not for little boys I'm not going to budge until we've dubbed him see mama. How do I happen to be called Claudia? I don't know just looked like a Claudia when you were born What's a Claudia look like like you? You're a big help. I have a better idea a really modern progressive idea Now why don't we wait until it grows up then when he sees for himself what he's like you can choose a name for himself Well, we supposed to call him to till then blank. Mr. Blank not Yeah, it's all right with me. Thank you to your impossible. All right. If you won't help I'll decide all by myself. Well, do we have to do it this this minute this minute before we leave the room We're going to choose it right in front of him, too Oh much more accurate with the subject Uh, may I sit down pull up a bed David. Thank you Never call him by his name anyway, we won't I won't but I will we'll see Look at him. He's so Microscopic any name we give him will be too much for him. Well, let's try giving him a small name Then you grow up to be big and his name will be too small for him make it sound so complicated It is can't we find a nice medium-sized name, you know, so to keep one foot on each side of the road Compromise compromise. No. No, I don't like fancy name. No, neither do I don't think he's going to be a very fancy little boy He better not be Let's give him a name that'll sort of give him something to sort of live up to you know a name that has character Hmm. Well name one How's George George for him. No, no George is not how do you know he isn't anything yet. What are George is like David? Well by George would you mind passing me my monocle boy? I'll have another cup of tea I know some very nice George's I knew George once who's a truck driver truck driver No, no son of mine will be called George not. No, see what you mean. Uh, let's see. What about, um Henry Henry Henry You want him to grow up to be bald and wear rimless glasses and have braces on his teeth when he's stepping. I knew a nice Henry once I don't think your son looks like a Henry. What does he look like if you're so smart. Puddin head. Oh Fine fine Colin Puddin head. I you know, I rather like that Puddin head not There's a very nice ring to it. PH knot My hair is rapidly turning white clear through Well, let's let's try and pick a name with a little romance. Oh lots of romance such as Rabinol young the raven all north and how does that sound? Oh If I had a son called raven all he had to marry a girl called Georgiana and I don't think I could bear to have a daughter in law called Georgiana, but if he were called raven all he could swing a cane where a top hat and be ever so gallant Down upon the oh this might not be such a bad idea after all David be serious in two minutes I have to put dinner on or can't we sleep on it and what on dinner? Oh Comedian in the house. Yeah, we've been sleeping on it long enough so long that we've gone to sleep on the job We have to call him something mama's right house um Edward Edward who? Another comedian enough Move over David. I want to be the end man. Edward's a nice simple man No, it's not enough character. No bones in it bones. Well, he doesn't have any bones look at him He has no muscles either. How about a muscular name? No, there's something to say for having girls girls names are prettier Well, if you think you're going to force to pretty name on my son you're tooting up the wrong tree I'm not tooting up any tree, but I don't like Edward Norton Eddie Norton Ed Norton No, it doesn't sound right. What's the matter with David? Nothing's the matter with David except David says he won't have his son called after it Why not gets much too complicated my son has a right to his own name I'm not going to have him go through his life being called junior as life his own to live You'll have to make his own name mean something too. It's very humble of you, David Oh, not at all very conceited this boy has to stand on his own two feet He's not going to get by on his father's reputation. What reputation bad reputation, but I'm glad you straightened that out Oh, this is all very well and good, but we're not getting any place Okay, we get into the dining room. I'm hungry and so is your son hungry for a name Well, there's Percival Rupert Egbert Albert Arnold Ambrose Archibald That's all for the age shop up and then there's Bertram Bernard Barney. That's all for the bees and there's char No, I know I know what do you know John? Oh, I love John But I hate Jack and all Johns are Jacks. Well ours doesn't have to be John John Norton It's not bad How do you like John Norton schoolgirls? You're very sleepy face. He doesn't like John. How's William? Oh, all Williams or bills. I don't like William, but I love Bill Silly Billy might call him Willie. Oh, no son of mine to be called Willie Willie Nellie I still think we ought to let him decide in years to come no dinner until you decide the right name Just doesn't hit us between the eyes. Just too bad. What about spud or bud or pud? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What about Mickey or Ricky or Mike? Oh, he is not going to have freckles I forbid it not going to have a name at this rate David Don't you feel anything hitting you between the eyes only the back of my hand. Oh, I'm getting hungry now. Listen, you do Come on. Come on. Let's quit kidding. We know it's all settled. That is at least I know you do I do it's been settled for years and years and years If you'd stop and think for a minute mrs. Norton You'd know your son's name as well as I do I would Think darling I'm thinking yeah, you don't have to wrinkle up your face like that. It can't be such an effort Well, darling David tell me How do you like? Robert I've always liked Robert. There's nothing particularly the matter with Robert. It's nice What about you mrs. Brown? Robert's nice name. You bet it's a nice name I hope my son can live up to it. You'll have a long ways to reach up David. I'm getting suspicious. You are mrs. Brown I just want to say I just hope my son will grow up to be a Fine a man as I'm sure Robert Brown was I didn't know you knew We'd be proud if you'd let us borrow the name of your husband mrs. Brown. Don't do this for me We're not mama. We're doing it for us For old sleepy face over there, then it's all settled and Robert it is Robert Norton I like the way it sounds. Well, Bobby, Bobby, what do you think about it? Well speak up speak up, man He's so impressed with himself. He can't say anything Oh darling, you're so very sweet and thoughtful sweet I'm just looking for for the way to thank your mother and father for you and for bobby Bad a boy skeetic. Oh, I beg your pardon. Oh, man Bobby come to daddy Of course, I don't know firsthand But I hear tell that trying on dresses in warm weather is one of the world's most trying occupations And no puns intended yet women have to buy dresses Next time shopping is too much for you. Just look around for that friendly red sign and pause for ice cold coca-cola There'll probably be a co-cooler right around the corner waiting to help you shop refreshed What do you think of david's choice of names, mr. King? I think it's a very fine one. Mrs. Brown Robert Norton It was a lovely gesture on david's part to name my grandson after my husband Oh much as david won't admit it. He's pretty proud of that boy of his. Well, he is his father And much as he'll try not to act like his father. He'll end up just the same like all the rest of us You think so who I even think that someday david will even end up with the A picture or ten or so in his wallet of master bobby norton I'll have to see that to believe it. Well come around tomorrow, mrs. Brown. I most certainly will till then. Goodbye, mr. King. Goodbye, mrs. Brown Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying or of war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola More coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes And ice-cold coca-cola is everywhere This broadcast of claudia was supervised and directed by william brown maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola