 So next talk For the next half hour It will be dick pics for privacy by anus and runs back. Please give him a warm welcome so It's quite weird to hear himself. It's loud, but okay This is our talk dick pics to privacy and This is anus. He's a member of the deface crew He's a nerd and you might know him from the batch. He did quite a lot of that in coding style This is runs back. He's a defaced Nordic south west south Holland member. He's also a nerd and he likes old computers Yes, and he's totally desensitized for digs First a disclaimer. We are not native English speakers. So Dutch isms and dunglish will be present in this talk Also, we might slip up a bit, but please assume good faith Also, this talk might contain penises. I will contain penises. So if you're squeamish when seeing like Penises you can leave now Nobody nice So how does this journey start? As a member of the batch project, I entered the talk in frappe for the batch and Later on cartoffel our team lead asked me well, I would like to do this talk So can you remove it from frappe? I tried but there's no delete button in frappe So then I entered dick pics for privacy ethical trolling of security agencies Blah blah blah blah blah at the end comment for moderators There is no delete button in frappe Yes, so what happens next a couple of months later I walk into Walter and he says well I had to lobby a bit within the content team But it is now okay. You can do your talk and I'm like what talk? Yes So he came to me Paul I did something stupid. I was okay. What did you do? Yeah, I was no delete button. I entered that. Did you know you said you said next to me when that happened? Yes, we had a good laugh. It got accepted fuck So we started googling Dick pics dick pic art guide to making dick pics where else to start that the go-but Google works better for dicks we found and We found a whole Culture of dick pics and dicks in the past dicks in the future So we first want to take you on the right on the stuff that we found online Starting With history We started thinking our dick pics something new I mean it's in the news these days stuff about dick pics But ever since the start of recorded history there have been instances of dick pics ever since people have been able to Depict things they have been depicting penises except for the one there on the top left Ah, yeah, that was an Egyptian that was really attached to his penis. So he had it mummified Yes That's amazing So let's start with prehistory I don't know what this hunter is doing with this bison here, but assume good faith Also, these are according to archaeologists our art objects. They might also have had a different function and In pictures there where males were depicted It was very important to have a big penis and also a direct one it seems to indicate health Then in Greek times The civilized Greek people were depicted with small penises small penises were a sign of civilization of culture on the other hand the more promiscuous and What is the word the more promiscuous and less logical people Actually were depicted with the big penises It was not that the people with small penises didn't have a lot of sex in Greek times But the people with big penises got really got distracted and got irrational got emotional And so the big penis in Greek times was actually connected to people with lower standing Less civilized less cultures for instance the Priapus the Fortility guards from the Greeks here was thrown off Mount Olympus because he was just Irrational not that the rest of the Greeks were rational on the Mount Olympus, but okay. He was really irrational so in Roman times Penises were both used to Direct the way to a brothel, but also as a symbol of power The might of the Roman armies was mostly depicted for example in this case as a flying eagle penis That is holding even more penises as a symbol of the might of the Roman army Yes, and the symbol also Relates to the Roman soldiers that were male and healthy and powerful and could get things done In Roman times they didn't have political correctness. So that was how they depicted that It was like the male symbol and also I looked at this and I thought the American bold eagle. They might have copied that so rich wealthy and Powerful people were also known to wear rings with penises and this well the fashists It just is the earliest recorded dick, but so we had to include it in this presentation Then we get to the medieval times in the medieval times Christianity took over and Penises were seen more as something naughty something Hidden something. Yeah, naughty. So we have this non picking penises We have this illustration of a guy swinging his dick around and even foolish talkative people without any content Just blabber mouthing. We're depicting as just a penis bullsack and the mouth a penis backpipes penis backpipes Yes, but then a long time nothing changed and then we arrive at the 8-bit era and As you can see this is a guy a C64 game Commodore 64. It's called stroker and It's still played at demo scene parties Even in addition for but you can see it still it's made from character art There's not a lot of effort put into it And it's still something naughty something. Yeah, it's still middle ages in that sense. Although it's in 8-bit So yeah, nothing really changed in the meantime, but then modern times Yes Yes, so Yeah, it does times they had statues and they had to put in quite a lot of time to create their things Other objects of art, but these days everybody has a digital camera So it's way more easy to make dick pics and I think that is why we currently see more dick pics than ever Yes, but what about art and culture? Yes does modern art still contain? Dicks Answer is yes a very big. Yes We've tried for two hours to find the artist, but we couldn't No, and Yeah So artist unknown, but yes, yes There are three main categories in art in modern art art with penises art made with penises and art about penises Let's start with art with penises This for instance is a guy that has a blog on tumblr and it's called did things my penis does of things my dick does actually and It's quite hilarious. We have another example for you This actually spoiled my childhood memories of the caribers. It was a nice series It started out with a caribre and the penis it ended up with this. Yes quite traumatic But then there's penises and politics at first we found this picture without any Comments beneath below it. So we thought is it the Dutch politician Geert Wilders? Is it Boris Johnson or is this Trump? Make America hard again. Yes, it's Trump The next one will limit our Countries where we can have a holiday if this got streamed This is from the series dictators of history and friends also by dickter Galaxy at gallery, sorry and yeah, I don't think we can go there on holiday anymore No, North Korea would know This would definitely get a get a gets us to a labor camp. Yes. Yes Okay art made with penises This is a very crude example of someone who just paints his penis puts it on the canvas It's also from things my dick does by the way. Yep And there's the more advanced art with penises This guy actually uses the temple method to create the pictures you see in the background and he Mostly fills in the details. Although there you have to Google quite well to find that But but the most details you see in the background are all painted with his penis and then there's the more Performance artists artists this person every couple of weeks He goes onto a stage and paints something with his penis and I do think the details in the bull are pretty Striking yes, it's a good bull Then art about penises This artist unknown. We tried for two hours, etc Made a very nice leapfrog artwork out of penises or at least about penises. Yes And there's the dirty mind of the internet Where people thought like it's a nice butterfly or a flamingo would be great, but yeah Things happen. What has been seen cannot be unseen. I guess And of course last but not least modern art It's called out in the world and we think it might be the challenger taking off or Something like that. At least it's sticking out in the world. Yes, but it's modern art Think of it what you want and most people say art is just for their high culture for cultured people and that more common people Have a different way of entertainment. Yeah, they just take to the media mostly the mainstream media And how are dickpicks? Well mentioned in the mainstream media some accidental actually, this is Fox news coming to us from Seattle guys Or that's another photo. You can see the smoke billowing up next to the Space Neil there that iconic image in Seattle man, so that's Edward Scissorhands, so we'll just ignore that And so you know a lot of people obviously You know follow Yep, it's still seen as a bit naughty. I think yeah, especially for right-wing Americans Quite accidental and very funny But there's also Penises dickpicks in mainstream media. That's that's yeah on purpose And even with a very good message you might have seen the John Oliver last week tonight episode where he talks to Edward Snowden about how to relay the privacy concerns of the internet to people and There's long stories nobody gets it and then they come to the to the Yeah, to the point where the NSA might see people's dickpicks and that's where I took a small clip From that episode. So let me help you out there You mentioned in an interview that the NSA was passing around naked photos of people Yeah, this is something where it's it's not actually seen as a big deal in the culture of NSA Because you've seen naked pictures all of the time that Terrifies people because when we ask people about that, this is the response you get The government should not be able to look at dick pictures if the government was looking at a picture of Gordon's penis I definitely feel it would be an invasion of my privacy Yes, the government was looking at pictures of my penis that would upset me They should never ever the US government have a picture of my dick Yes So it's quite an effective way to move people. We'll come back to that later. But for now social media on Facebook and Twitter well on Facebook mostly and LinkedIn. There's a sort of automatic filter for dickpicks You don't want your mom or your grandma to see your penis So most people just don't upload dickpicks there, but the more volatile media like snapchat and Instagram and Chat roulette they have a big problem with penises Yes, and although dating apps try to get penises out We found two examples of guys that tried that circumvented that quite Creatively I really love this picture. Yes. He's actually taking free selfies with his third hand. Yeah That guy is a boss It's awesome So this is where our internet Yeah, do any kind of ends and we go to the privacy system a part of our social research. Yes Privacy, yeah, it's in our title and And We think if you have dickpicks on your system that might incentivize you to actually care about security you don't want those leaked on the internet and sent to your future employer and When you use passwords to authenticate to your systems it might also incentivize you to not share those passwords on other systems or with people and What about authenticating with dickpicks? Is that a possibility? Yes, now like we saw in the video with John Oliver and Snowden It's a quite a good way to make people aware about privacy on the bottom You see a picture of a picture a scan that was taken with the airport security x-ray scattering background back Scatter back scatter scanners and the possibility that a dick might be visible was a huge outcry So, yeah, the effectiveness is kind of proven there as well But there's also a thing That if you fill your system up with dickpicks, you can demotivate attackers every time they try to crack something or get some information Yes, we're in penis everywhere. Penises. Yes And it's great fun thinking of the eye bleach people will need to get rid of this of the images you've shown them then Authentication well your fingerprints you leave them around everywhere every time you pick up a glass or something You leave your fingerprints your irises are always visible Yep, and what about your most private key in most countries by law you are required to keep it hidden So there are some concerns though with public transport. There might be a Hygienic concern as well with ATMs and getting money. So there are some limitations also and looking your phone in public with your dick Yeah, I might get you some weird looks. We also had someone try this and apparently the bullsack is a better way of Authenticating people than a penis. Yes the wrinkles and stuff here. We have a great need out of chicken with you over chip card So dick pics are very useful. So how to generate dick pics There are a couple of ways the old-fashioned way. It's not really practical in public It does depict your penis exactly as it is But you need to have a penis. So this only applies to about half of the population and A good thing is it can also be done with an analog camera with some free-edit benefits when you pick up Developed film. Yes, but for people who don't have a dick or you do or do and you don't want to photograph it That's also dick code where you can create a unique code that describes the dick you have or the dick you want These are just three examples of the many multiple choice questions you get when entering dick code These are our dick codes by the way if you're interested Yes, you can download the slide deck later from frappe and try it yourself or enter our dick codes If you want an example then We have a look here went on to AI generating Penises with AI we fed hypercontensor flow, which is a machine learning system about 45,000 100 sorry dick pics we gathered from reddit. We didn't do it manually Yes wrote a script for it But as you can see for example in this case the size or position of the hand is something that's variable also Being circumcised or not is variable, but on the other hand these are the most popular positions for penises on reddit. Yes, unfortunately his rig crashed and during the event we didn't have time to create a Flask server that can generate dick pics for people who want them, but we at least we tried yep And finnair drivers don't like colonel upgrades. It seems Then there's the dip dick pic game that if that you can also use to generate dick pics It's called cobra club and like in most MMO RPGs. You have a lot of sliders and options to generate The dick pic you want. It also has some sort of algorithm that then rates your dick pics Probably based on the golden triangle the Fibonacci sequence or something. Yes rule of thirds The thing is with the dick code you can actually Yeah, share that. I think these pictures will still be censored. Although they are generated Then there's stagronography How do you died? How do you hide your dick pics? Of course, you want to fill your system up for security with them But they shouldn't be obvious because people could evade them There are many ways of doing that you can hide them in pictures and use lowest bit methods We have one example where we use a audio file You can also go either way with it You can hide your penises inside other pictures or you can use your penises to hide sensitive data Yep There we go so now you all have a penis in your ear and This is the way where you encode a picture in a in an audio file and Does anybody recognize the penis? No, it's from Fight Club. So it's quite famous actually Let's see the next stuff we did some googling on psychology. We're not psychologists, but we thought we should add it anyway So how do people with dick pics see with dick pics? Sorry people with dicks Some according to psychology today some people with penises Might use it as a sort of pre-approval to get the rejection out of the way So you don't have to invest in your building a relationship also They love the idea of or at least like looking at nudes and would love to sometimes receive them from random people They are interested in so they assume the other people do as well projection. Yes So people without penises, of course, I have one so I had to read this one and Context matters a lot. So if you like somebody in advance, yes or no Also the background of the dick pic that was something that surprised us a lot is very very important So if the room is not tidy The whole dick pic goes to waste yes, and also women replied on a few Questionaries questionaries that they actually Don't want unsolicited dick pics if they want them they could Google them women use Google too. Yes So there is a big difference in perspective on this matter So that kind of causes a dissonance. Yes, you have the one side Where you have people seeking approval and on the other side people think I use Google as well And so unsolicited dick perks dick pics would never get work. No At least according to psychology. There might be some exceptions to that. So you get an unic unsolicited dick pic How do you reply? There's many ways easiest way is to just not reply There's also the option of Just making a funny reply. For example, this one says hey there little guy. Yes Then there's the nasty reply on the bottom here We have a chat with a girl who received a dick pic and thought like hmm He's on Facebook and so is his mother So she forwarded the dick pic to his mother with the request if she could please talk to him I can't imagine how the tea with his mother would have been in two days after something That is also probably the most effective answer another option is to just send a bigger dick. I say hmm I saw one better yesterday So that brings us to what to take away Obviously a bag of dicks You may send us one. We're at the Defeys village. Yes But what you could take away from this is that dick pics have a very long history At least not in the picture form, of course, but in the form of statues and paintings and all that kind of stuff So it's nothing new also unsolicited dick pics won't get you anywhere yeah, no and That's solicited dick pics if requested could actually Heighten the awareness of people of privacy on the internet because they actually do feel they have something to hide as we saw in the John Oliver Episode of last week tonight. So dick pics do have a use This brings me to the end and to the questions Does anybody have any questions? so Given a sufficiently large training data set, do you think it would be possible for your tensor flow application to generate a representation of a platonic ideal Whoa, yeah, well, yes. Yes, I do But the only problem with that idea is that then you only get the narcissistic people So you get a perfect depiction of the average narcissistic person. Yes Regarding the computer aspect of it. Have you found some ascii ascii art? Yes, we did We had a previous slide deck that was 80 slides long. So we could fill one and a half hours the problem was we had to cut it short because we only have half an hour and That one didn't make it in but it would have been great to use in the lowest bit hiding in BMP files and stuff So if people found like hidden data, it would have been dick pic art ascii art And the cool thing is if you have certain characters, it even contains smileys. Yes Any other questions? No, cool. Okay. Thank you a warm hand To anus and ransack Sorry. Yeah, we had a question example question here. Can you turn the head of a dick in the sun? Yes some at the six Sundays we spent to actually plan this talk We googled some quite ridiculous things you can imagine the Advertising I get now on websites. Yeah, my Google history is fucked. Yes, and so we were like we need something with dick pics and coloring and that was like, yeah, but Can you actually turn the head of a dick and there are people on bodybuilding websites that are actually concerned with this question? there was a shitload of advice following this question and Yes, it was a 30-page thread. It was very interesting. Yeah, so the answer is yes Yes, use more sunscreen if you want details the first time you turn it it stings a little but it gets better over time That was the description over there Okay, that was it then Cool. Oh another question. Ah Hello Well, you can use the microphone over there. Hello. Hello. I'm who's the speaker? We both are anus walk. I'm sorry. I missed your talk Yeah, I want to have this but I have one question first. Could you summarize your talk in one word? Penises. Thank you And it's about DJ right It's about DJing it said on the on the script something about DJ DJ. No, no Well, we can DJ it But then you have to take the generated sound of the penis and then use that in some sort of composition Okay, may I introduce myself? I'm Eric from Heidelberg and I host naked tango events. When is the next one? When is the next one in November? You're all invited. Thank you. I'll try All right