 Well, let's say you like a man a lot and he says the following thing is a good chance you might be used Okay, and this will usually happen around the 90-day mark. So let's dive into this really quickly you know, most people start off in the dating process with a lot of high hopes a lot of Grand expectations, you know, and it's usually because it's driven by chemistry. That's right chemistry is Fueling the rocket ship. In fact, I want you to think about it like a rocket ship It's fueled by chemistry and it takes off like a rocket But what happens when that fuel dissipates? Well, what happens is usually you get burn And so we have to be very careful in the early stages to recognize that chemistry Isn't the cause for a successful relationship It's just the fuel to get the engine to get the rocket ship in space. Okay now with that said This one phrase so many men use Sadly, there's a good chance You'll be used or most likely will be used if a man says this phrase. Okay. Let me repeat that There's a good likelihood if you happen to like the man and he says this phrase You will most likely feel like you got used and that phrase is Let's take it slow. Let's take it slow. Now remember I said in the early part of this broadcast I said it takes off like a rocket, right? You took off like a rocket the two of you connected You had all this intense chemistry. You felt like you knew each other. You just felt like you met the one Everything was great. He's progressing the relationship and then the minute it hits this point He says let's take it slow and I think it's really important to understand what it Let's take it slow means because there's a good chance if you like him If you like him a lot This is his exit clause to set up the ending of the relationship now the primary reason why men say Things like take it. Let's take it slow It basically means he likes you. There's no doubt that he likes you But you're not the one You're not the one So when he meets the one he'll end the relationship or when he loses interest he'll end the relationship That's the primary reason why a man says let's take it slow He likes you he likes all the benefits of being in a relationship with you He likes that occasional companionship. He likes the occasional connection He likes the occasional sex and I use the word occasional because I guarantee you a man who is into you There is a lot more Consistent connection with you versus it being occasional So when a man likes you he likes the occasional connection. He likes the occasional companionship. He likes the occasional sex But he's just not that in you so he puts on the brakes by saying let's take it slow Now many of you believe let's take it slow means the following and this is where you're rolling the dice with your heart when You believe it means the following and that is not enough trust has been built between the two of us Not enough trust has been built between the two of us and so I need more time to develop trust with you Now that's a very fair thing to say. Let's take it slow Let's take it slow and really build trust with one another Why don't you really think about this being intentional about building trust and trust isn't just about fidelity? Trust is can I count on this person to care about my feelings as much as I care about my own feelings? Does this person genuinely care about my feelings at the same level they care about their own feelings? That's what trust really is So I'm here to say when he says let's take it slow and you're thinking well We just need to build more trust with one another. I can tell you most every man Who is in a happily happy excuse me happily? He's in a happy relationship, and he's been with the person for years if not married with this person I will tell you that most men will say the same thing they knew within the first 90 days That she was what will effectively call the one in other words He knew he wanted to progress the relationship for he doesn't put the brakes on when someone says let's take it slow They're basically putting the brakes on because remember they took off like a rocket to get you into bed Okay, let's think about this lust and limerence is driving the bus for the first Six seven eight nine ten dates and most guys don't even go past the third or fourth date if they haven't had sex with you And we're gonna talk about this in a little more detail So I'm here to say you have to be really you're rolling the dice when he says let's take it slow Because you might be thinking well, we need to build more trust now You might remember I said earlier in this broadcast you already like him, okay? And you recognize trust is built over time. That's fair enough But when someone puts on the brakes, they're also setting up their escape clause with you They're basically saying I really don't know how I feel about you So I want to put the brakes on after I just took this relationship in the outer space I need to like it's not putting it in orbit. It's like I need to bring it back down to ground You know and really decide if I like you because when you took it off in the space and you orbit That's what relationships do. They're about orbiting with one another So I really want you to sit with this for a second because yes, it does take time to build trust with another human being it takes Experiences it takes Experiences this is why so many of you you have to be so Careful when you engage in long distance relationships primarily many of you engage in cyber relationships with another human being and you are so Practically desperately connected to one another and I say desperately because it happens so frequently That most human believe that cyber Relationships are a real relationship and to the extent they are real they're real in an electronic sense But they're not real in a day-to-day sense And what they're what they're experiencing is artificial intimacy Artificial intimacy that's what that means. It's not real Because you really don't know someone until you actually spend time with them and you see how they treat you in the real world That's how you really folks This cyber way of connecting It's like connecting with a with an AI program. It's not real until you're physically in your present And you can see who their real personality is Folks I can tell you after my most recent experience I can tell you you really don't get to know a person until you live with them Everything prior to living them you get a sense of who the person is But when you live with someone you really get to know who their personality is how they operate in the world Or at least when you spend a significant amount of time together in each other's homes In fact, I highly recommend in the early stage of the dating if the two of you are having physical intimacy with one another then maybe spend two weeks in each other's home respective respectfully Respectively respectively or respectively. Well, I think you know what I mean Just to see how you operate together outside of the bubble type of relationships many of you experience Now something you might be saying well, jonathan and we just don't have the logistics to do that Yeah You're rolling the dice with every one of those relationships And you can watch my you can read the comments in my channel respectively. Thank you Leafs Um, you can read the comments over and over again how you guys get duped Over and over and over again because you get sucked in To the fantasy of relationships instead of the practical aspects of the relation or relationships That's why i'm so grateful for my the clients who work with me I gotta tell you. I got a call the other day from a client. She's all excited. She just got engaged. She wanted to tell me about it Um, she was sending me a sweet personal message and she wanted to tell me about her engagement And she said it was because of all the work I did with you jonathan and what I what I feel like I'm your big brother I'm your uncle if I could be there with a shotgun on the first date pointed the guy's face I'd say what's your intentions with my sister little sister or my my niece My point is is I I'm I'm grateful to be able to educate people because We almost we human beings need a re-education because everything most of you have learned about relationships is wrong wrong wrong And how do I know this because we see ending after ending after ending after ending now I think you all know that I have a spiritual perspective on relationships And that means everything is happening for you and every single relationship that you you've had in your life Is an opportunity for you to learn and grow more about who you are So the fact is is even though this title says you've been used. I don't believe you've ever been used I think you might feel used, but I don't believe anyone I don't think most men intentionally use women. We might take advantage of women I don't I'm gonna in the sense is look we're driven by our penises We're trying to get laid and we'll say whatever it takes to get laid But you ladies should know this about us by now if you haven't figured this out by now Shame on you. You know, what do men think about on a first date? They think about sucks. Okay And so when it takes off fire like a rocket and you get sucked into believing what we say It's on you You're the gas. You're the brakes. We're the gas. You're the brakes But when the guy puts on the brakes and says let's take it slow You have to really wonder what changed what changed from this this intense getting to know you period all of a sudden I take it slow. Well, it's because He doesn't want to emote. He doesn't want to emote emotions That might create a false sense of believing he's serious about you He doesn't want to emote feelings to create a false sense that he actually cares about you Think about this folks What is marriage as an example what is marriage? Marriage is an agreement between two people to say through thick and thin. I want to take care of you I want to take care of you. I mean, that's really what it's all about is like Look at we're gonna have good times. We're gonna have bad times, but I want to take care of you even in the bad times That's what that commitment means Now by the way, marriage is dissolve all the time. They go there's divorces. I mean the fact the matter is look at We have a flawed system We have a flawed system of human pair bonding. It is flawed. I want you to just think about this for a second um Next friday night Let's just say for argument's sake a million people will have a first date Or in other words 500,000 You know, I'm talking heterosexual 500,000 women 500,000 men will have a first date with one other they'll have a meet and greet Of those million the likelihood that they'll ever see each other again is less than 98 Okay, 98 of those is to of those two percent that see each other again well over 98 percent of them will never see each other again And of those two percent left over from that percentage a few of them will enter into a relationship and very few of those will get into a relationship That might be go my god scary jonathan, but that's just the reality You know, even though marriage has a weak success rate at roughly 56 percent I think 56 percent. No Relate marriages has it's a 56 percent divorce rate when you clap first second and third marriages It's a flawed system, but it's still better than anything else Most people in relationships will end most people that live together will end all those truths happen You might be thinking I want to give up Well, you know what i'm grateful for is when you learn how to hack the system when you learn how to actually Throw out all the bullshit that you learned in the past and actually learn a different way like what I teach in my coaching You have a much you put the odds so much more in your favor to be in the two percent that actually succeed But many of you just don't want to do the work. You don't want to do the work. You just think you're different You think you're above it all I know this because I acted that way as well I was arrogant for so many years until I did the deep dive into healing my childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas until I really recognize that Compatibility has more to do with shared values blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity when I started to recognize all this And I did the real work I feel like i'm setting myself up For much greater success and puts the odds in my favor and i'm inviting you all to do the same thing Many of you are delusional I know you love my channel and I appreciate that I know you appreciate my humor My style my delivery, but I want something more just like we've had many people come on recently that said they've gotten married by following my advice because Everything you've learned in the past doesn't work And i'm inviting you to do it a different way is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know So when a guy says let's take it slow He's putting on the brakes because most likely he doesn't think you're the one But he enjoys your company and then until he finds the one or he loses interest he'll move on and The other the other scenario. I gave you where trust is built sometimes The reality is is two people aren't perfectly matched for one another they might have come close They might have a lot in common, but not everybody is meant to be I've learned that experience myself But i've also learned that every relationship comes with a gift if you choose to see the gift and that is What positive things about yourself? Did you learn in this experience? How did you heal from this experience? What was good and what are you most grateful for when you can answer those questions? And when you can actually come from a grateful loving place You are setting yourself up for a lot more success And yet sadly most of you are focused on what's wrong Instead of what's right, and I want to end with this last note before we take questions I want to end on this note It's raining great man. It's raining great man. It's raining great people I invite you to start saying that over and over and over again Because god universe and spirit it's listening And it actually wants to deliver for you. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know All right, if it is please hit that like button, please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel And if you've got something to say post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts All right, if you're watching live right now and you have a question I want you to write the word question and post the question there after Or you can purchase a super sticker super chat There's a little dollar sign there in the chat box all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund In the name of my son Conor Asley. That's a picture of him right there with his brother and me He's my son who passed away over five years ago and in his honor We donate to causes like the Hoffman process insight institute and seeds of love And if you want to speak to me directly Hey, click the link right here. You can jump on live and ask me a question directly. Okay All right, let's see what we've got here Bump bump. I know I saw a question come in Here we go Deborah writes Question Please if you tell an over 50 guy no sex unless unless in a committed relationship and he keeps Treating me the same as far as going out paying travel, but no kiss no hugs is that normal You know, I forgot to say something in my broadcast. It just occurs to me. I forgot to say something Deborah you know Most guys after three or four dates if they haven't had sex they tend to want to move on The guys that wait a little bit longer Actually like you They're not if they're not driven by their penis. They actually like you so And you've said please if you tell an over 50 guy no sex unless committed relationship And he keeps treating me the same as far as going out playing But no kiss no hugs is that normal No, it's not normal because sex is rather easy to obtain today quite frankly women are you know They've sexual freedom allows them to do whatever they want But yet most women are pretty easy to bed. I'm just going to be blunt. That's just the way I've observed it So is that normal? No, it's not normal I think the question is is it normal that they're going to stick around is really your question And most men won't because it's easy to get sex and if he does That's a really good chance that he likes you. That's a good chance that he likes you. So, yeah Um, I think that's a good one All right, let's see what other questions we might have Gigi had a question What question what channel do men follow because they all have the same narrative? Where do they hear this stuff? Who is programming them? So there's a significant percentage of what's called the red pill community These include people like andrew tate and a variety of other people that are spouting a narrative That I believe is unhealthy for young men So, yes, there are channels out there. There are a lot of good channels out there too anytime you listen to the gothman's or relationship theory or Jason gattis. Um, I forget what his is called school of relationships You know, there are good men giving advice But sadly most of the high viewed youtubers are spouting what's known as the red pill or men going their own way Advice and I can understand why you feel that way Hey, I want to give margaret some props for the seven dollar nine nine cents super sticker. Thank you so much All right, julienne has a question Best time frame to jump back in date after a breakup. I'm not in a hurry, but is there a good time frame? You know, I think when you have You've come to a place of gratitude over your past relationship And you come to a place of appreciation When you've asked yourself what positive things have I learned about myself? How have I healed in this relationship? What is good? And what am I most grateful for when you can answer those four questions with a sense of Of I'm gonna say pride or happiness or joy Even you know, that's when you're ready and until then You're gonna do the most likely it's gonna be the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results Yeah, I want to give sharing some props for the 13 dollar 99 cents super sticker And sharing some props for the for the five dollar super sticker. Thank you so much all right Let's see what we've got here tasha a question Is there a way to tell if a man is going to use the let's take it slow line before he actually does use it And how do you ask him about it? Okay? This is a great question. I love this one so Remember I said it's usually those men that where there's a real strong Intensity to take the relationship off. That's usually the case. Okay That's when they want to put on the brakes. They say let's take it slow Okay, now there is another group of men Who have been deeply burned by their past relationships? They've been deeply burned by their past relationships if they've been burned by their past relationships They're going to have a reservation About giving their heart to someone new actually, I think men's hearts are more fragile than women I think women have much stronger hearts than men. I think men when they feel they've gotten burned particularly They put on the brakes. Okay Now if a man isn't willing to wait seven eight nine ten dates before sex That's usually an indication You know But it's hard to say, you know guys will wait that long But guys that rarely guys who are in it for the short run are usually gone by the sixth date If they haven't had sex six date, you know, so but if you get to the seventh eight night date And there's some real strong chemistry It's a touch-and-go one Again, if it took off like a rocket good chance He's going to put on the brakes if he felt burned or slided or jaded or hurt Or even if he longs for his past relationship So the questions you ask you find out as much as possible about the last person He was a relationship with or any other woman. He truly loved that's how you find out Before the penis ever goes inside the vagina All right, let's go Cc was mentioning kevin samuels. That's one person where those men heard a lot about that from all right Chazelle says jonathan. You're awesome. I appreciate your advice very helpful. God bless you and your family. Oh, thank you so much Speaking of family, I'm having an interesting awareness around my culture my heritage folks You probably don't know this but my family is from istanbul turkey And lately I have a strong desire to really get in touch with my roots and get a sense Get really really reacquainted with my heritage my culture And i'm seeing the value of really tapping into ancestral Understanding, um, so it's just something i'm sharing with you all. Um, I'll talk about it more if anyone has any questions Uh, sherry wants to say red pill is very toxic exactly All right, what other questions do you have for me? Who wants to join me live? Oh, someone asked how's marie Spoked her this morning. She's doing really well Uh, we had a nice chat. We were talking about a netflix series. I watched called another self It's a turkish series. Uh, there was another turkish series. What did I watch? Um Oh god bear with me one second I can't remember the other one I watched but I want to bring this up because I had some really amazing awarenesses over these two Shows so the first one was, um Oh in your dreams. This is a really good one. It's a turkish Uh, it's in your dreams is on amazon prime. It's about a a story about living in a dream Really love this one. It's a movie and then I watched a series called Um Another self this is really good too. It's about ancestral wounds and given that marie was feeling a lot of Desire to really connect with her roots and her culture and really with her familia Uh connect with her primas in particular and she felt very longing to be with her family This was a we were I I recommended she watched it and then we were talking about it this morning She's doing great. We have very good conversations with one another. They're not very long, but we have good conversations with one another So thank you Sherry says turkish culture is a thumbs up. Thank you so much Uh, shantilly ver virginia has a very healthy turkish community. So it's great. I love the their shops Oh, I'm having lunch with my cousin Uh, we jin says ancestry is very interesting. I am learning that I think many Americans in particular Probably don't have the benefit of knowing a lot of where their culture their heritage comes from Because there's been now three or four generations of Americans here. I'm first generation american for my family Um, and so if you've had the benefit of a family from another culture, there's so much um So much richness and almost also a lot of pain A lot of pain. I know marie and I talked about from her culture a lot of pain that came from The town that her family grew up in and her family grew up in and that pain has passed on to us And so I have a real desire to heal that part of me as well so I'm very grateful and so I would check out these shows called another self and um in your dreams I'd recommend that okay Hey, I want to thank leafs for the ten dollar super sticker. That's very sweet of you Uh, let's keep going here. Oh, there we go leafs. Thank you for the love. We really appreciate it By the way, who wants to join me live? Come on. There's a link here to join me live By the way, is brian in the house you can join us live We jin says we're very happy marie is doing well. Thank you so much. So who has a question for me? um Let's see My mother was uh margaret says my mother was from paisley glasgo in scotland. I'd love to go there way to go marie lynn says by the way jonathan seriously you look great in all honesty the best i've seen you look in months Your face has more color looking slightly slimmer too. Okay. Well, I have a confession um This program I use called stream yard has a has a button to smooth out my face So, uh, if I undo the button, you probably see a few more wrinkles. Uh, I'm taking advantage of technology and ai So in all honesty, that's what's going on. All right Uh, who has a question for me if you have a question right? Oh, here we go. Cecilia has a question Does the book mating and captivity say anything about cousin courtship or marriages? Um, where is that book? I have it right here Up up up up up up up up uh mating and captivity I know I have that but oh here it is folks, if you're not familiar with the work of ester perell by the way There's a link below to get a copy of all the books. I recommend Um, I don't believe I don't recall anything about cousin courtships or marriages But I know it is very common from those that have gigantic families So that is uh, I don't think the book talks about that, but I recommend this book it's an amazing book to get a sense of how to build a stronger relationship with your partner. So I highly recommend that. All right, great. Thank you so much. Sharon wants to say, I would be very weary of men who try to impress me with money. Look at men with money, they're going to do what they can to impress you. So I wouldn't be surprised that they try to use it. Which should you be on guard? Yeah, guys with money, guys with lots of money tend to be more controlling, tend to be not always, they can be controlling, they can be assholes, they can be players. So I can understand that. That's why I like simple first couple dates with someone just to get to know them without any expectations and then take it from there. Hey, it looks like we've got Rachel in the house. How are you doing? Hello, how are you doing? I'm doing good. Thank you. Nice to see you again. Nice to be in the hot seat again. What do you got for me? What do you got for me? So real quick, because I know you don't like the long drawn out version, but the last time I was in the hot seat, I talked about the fella that I knew from two years ago from a different website, dating website, we went out. He never, there was never any follow up. I reminded him of what of who I was because I don't think he knew. And then after, he said, oh yeah, I remember that. And I'm thinking, okay. And there was nothing else he said after that. And I thought, you're going to say anything else. So then I went back to that night and I said, this is what happened. I was going through a contentious divorce. And I know I drank a lot. I was put off by the fact that there was never, that you hadn't returned. Wait, he said that or you said that? I said that to him. I said, I was just being, I was using the what you call radical honesty. And I tried to do it in a nice way. And I just said, I was really put off that you didn't respond to me. And I was surprised when you reached out to me two years later on this website. And I said, again, I was put off that you didn't remember my name or face. Okay. And and I basically said, what's your question? My question is on Monday, I sent this, it's Thursday now. And I just unmatched him because I'm feeling rejection all over again. I felt rejection two years ago. And now I'm second guessing myself. And I'm thinking, should I have given him more time to respond to my last message that I sent on Monday? So, well, you know, you're on the hot seat, so you're going to get some tough love right now, right? Right. Are you prepared? I am, I can take it. Okay, okay. Well, you've given him a lot of your power that a man you barely know, like, you know, I'm for a nanosecond of your life, and you, you feel dejected, you feel rejected, you feel I have all these feelings. I mean, to give some stranger all of this power in your life means you're lacking a lot of this right now. Okay, you're lacking a lot of this right now. Because the fact he didn't remember you, I can't tell you how many times I've had women the same thing happened. And when you swipe a gazillion people, after a while, it all blends in. You know, it all just becomes one blur in this, because we have a system of connecting with people through this online vehicle, and it's kind of bastardized the process. Okay. And you only had one meeting with them two years ago, and you were drunk, and he probably wanted to put it past them. And so he reached out again. That's kind of a nice flattering thing. Okay, then he decides, you know what, he's maybe talking to 10 other women right now, maybe he's talking to one woman, maybe he's just not interested, whatever it is, you sent the message, he didn't respond, you just move on. The fact that he carries this much real estate, okay, or at least I suspect is carrying a lot of real estate in your head means you got a lot of work to do, because no man should ever have that much power. And God forbid you're in a relationship, because that's going to be 10 thousand times harder when you actually genuinely care for someone. Do you actually care for this person? Would you give this man $10,000 if he asked to borrow money? I mean, no, I'm picky. And it's really hard for me to find somebody that I'm even everybody is picky. Every fucking human being is ridiculously picky. No, just the first the first time I get, it's not like I don't get that many likes on my profile. Right now, I'm not, you know, I just worked on it. Let me interrupt for a second. But I'm sorry. 99.9% 999 people have 1000 are probably not your person. So that's just natural. Rather than focusing on what's wrong, I'm inviting you to open your heart to the possibility that it's raining great men. Because I want to I want to say this to everybody now, Rachel, I'm using you as the template here. Well, let me ask you a question, Rachel, have you ever been talking to a friend on the phone and you said something ridiculous like, did you see that three wheel bicycle, you know, that three wheel three wheel tricycle? Okay. And I'm using this as an example, then all of a sudden you start seeing ads on your phone for three wheel tricycles on your phone. Have you ever seen that happen? Okay. Big brothers or little brother is listening and then they send you ads over and over and over and over again. You know that, right? You know that with these devices, anything that even sometimes you're just thinking about a three wheel tricycle, it'll pop up on your phone. Okay. God universe spirits the exact same way. Whatever you're thinking, whatever energy you're thinking, God universe spirit will keep sending you exactly what you're thinking about. So if you operate from my picky, there's no good men out there, men are commitment phobic, it's all wrong, then you will just see nothing but that. Okay. I'm inviting everyone to turn the corner here and start changing the narrative. It's raining great men. Good men are out there. He's right around the corner. He can't wait to meet me and have that as the narrative and keep by the way, the universe will send you just like Google and Siri and Apple send you and Android sends you all of the things you just because you were thinking about it, the same thing will happen. So with him put him behind you, you know, the fact that you blocked them, if you have to be that extreme, then I want you to work on yourself because no man should ever affect you that much in your life. That's my invitation. So my question then would be if I had came on here before I unmatched him and I had said I sent that. You have right before you unmatched him? If I had sat in the hot seat and I still had him as a match and I was asking you, do you, what is your advice? Should I keep him as a match and just give him more time to respond and try not to let Why are you giving him more time? You're not giving him anything. It's really, you're giving him nothing. It's all about you. So let's reframe this. Am I, am I willing to unmatch him and just see what happens? You can do that. I mean, likely, Well, I think once you unmatch them on this website, I don't think there's a way to be able to communicate with that person again. I think it just blocks them. Okay. Well, then guess what? It's next. Okay. Well, you've got that. Again, you're holding hope for him. He's occupying, he's occupying a lot of real estate in your head. And women, by the way, they're listening to this shaking their head with you because we all see it. You know what? We are all seeing it. You just don't see it yet. I just felt reject. I feel a severe rejection. This person triggers that. By the way, a stranger severely rejected you. Oh my God, I'm going to die. No, you're not. I'm sorry to laugh. I'm saying this. You didn't get severely rejected. It's just a no. Okay. Because feeling rejected means there's something wrong with you. And if you feel like there's something wrong with you, that's on you to heal. That's not his job. He just opened the door. This guy gave you a gift. Okay. The gift is going, holy shit. I just acted like a batshit crazy woman. I gave all my power away to this guy. I got, oh, so, you know, defeated over someone I barely know who, you know, and I made up a story about he couldn't remember everything. And then I blocked him. If this is this invitation he gave you a gift, work on yourself. You okay with that? I don't really have a choice. Do I? No, you don't. Or guess what? When you pass away, you come back and get to do this all over again. Hopefully a little wiser the next time. So the question is, do you want to get it right now? Do you, by the way, I'm speaking to every one of you right now. Do you want to get it right now? Because you can wait till the next go around. We all come back and get to do this again. Or at least that's my impression. Okay. We just get to do it a little bit better next time. But do you want to get it right now? Then start now. Do the inner work so you don't give your power away to another human being. Or at least significantly give your power away. And to a guy you met once and communicated twice in your life, he's carrying a lot of real estate. Can I send you off with a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug? Can you receive? Okay. There you go. Receive. All right, sweetheart. Big hugs to you. All right. Who wants to get some top love from Jonathan? All right. I got to go back a little ways. Question, what it means when someone doesn't know what they want after four months of dating? It means you're not the one. Ladies, I'm real simple. The guy doesn't know what he wants after, listen, every man I've ever spoken to, usually by the three, maybe the fourth month mark, he knows if he wants to go the distance with someone. Unless, but he'll take, by the way, we men will just, we love the goodies. You know, you guys are giving us wife benefits at girlfriend prices. What that means is we love the occasional companionship, occasional sex, occasional connection. You know, we'll ride that train until someone else comes along. If he doesn't know what he wants, it's time to say next. All right. Susan wants to know, can a relationship be successful? I'm so fucking loosely. Latter day, Israel wants to know, what do men say after 90 days he use you? Let's take it slow. And by the way, go back and listen to the beginning so you can get the whole gist of it. Live, live, learn gross as the pain is in our DNA from our ancestors. I do believe that. All right. Let's keep going. Oh, someone went, okay. So I guess some of you are talking about me being the golden bachelor. First off, I'm not over 65. Okay. So let's not put me in the golden bachelor category. Okay. Actually, I think they reached out to Marie about it. And I had a client of mine who was 68. She got invited to do the golden bachelor, but I'm wait, I'm still way too young for that, for that show. So I'm not ready for it yet. And big hug Sharon wants to give Rachel a big hug way to go. All right. Let's see. Leafs has an interesting comment. No other culture treats animals, birds, marine, what's as much love and respect as Turkish people, just as important as humans. I'm not surprised you're reconnecting with your roots. I did not know that about my heritage. That's nice to know. Let's keep going here. Sunflower wants to pass on a message to Rachel. I myself believe I have codependency traits and have looked into codependency anonymous. It's like AA for codependence. This might help with the assisting in healing journey. Thank you for that, sunflower. Really appreciate that. Actually, there is a great book. Where is it? There's a good book called Codependency No More by Melody Betty. I'd highly recommend check this out. Codependency comes in a variety of forms. I have a codependency nature within me. So I'm very aware of that. And I have to be mindfulness. So mindfulness is the awareness of where your emotions are going. That's mindfulness to be able to know where your emotions are going. And the capacity to regulate our emotions requires work to really understand our thoughts. I was watching a movie the other night called Little Buddha. By the way, you can't find this on anyone. I found a bootleg copy. It's 1996. It's got Keanu Reeves in it. He doesn't play a big part in it. But it got me thinking about the Buddhist culture and talks about Buddhism basically says most suffering comes from the attachment to an outcome of things. When we are attached to things or we have expectations of outcomes on certain things. So I'm giving you my version of it, my Cliff Note version of it. So it occurs to me that a lot of humans are codependent because they're attached to and they require someone else to fill that void within themselves. That's my interpretation. Listen, I am guilty of having an anxious attachment style. I want to say that's in the past for me. I believe now I've graduated to secure. But I'm aware, I'm aware that I have this tendency. So being aware is learning how to catch myself before I fall in the rabbit hole of being needy, of being dependent. And that takes herculean work and you might want to check out organizations like codependence anonymous. So thank you for bringing that up. Let's see. Jane wants to say brilliant, Jonathan, manifest what you want and you'll be like Google. Exactly. Coming back to that, I have this interesting awareness. Little Brother follows us on our smartphones. They call it Little Brother. That's Google, Apple, Facebook, Instagram. That's all Little Brother. Big Brother's government. And Little Brother is folks, we are all tapped in electronically. You wouldn't be watching this if you weren't tapped in electronically. And the other day I typed in the first letter of something I was looking for and the entire word came out. Like if I typed in 90, it said 90-day fiance, knew what I was thinking before I even fucking typed it in. So God is the God universe spirits exactly the same way. This is where learning how to manifest. This is why I love the clients who work with me because they see these amazing results because we put into the power of connecting directly with not Little Brother, Big Brother. We're talking about divine brother, divine father, divine mother. And they are giving you messages all day long. You're just not seeing them because we're clouded with so much, clouded with delusion. It's no wonder we don't see the beautiful people in front of us. They're all around us if we just look. But everybody is so focused on what's wrong and how hard it is and I'm so picky and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're so focused on having a closed heart. Folks, we are swimming in a sea of closed hearts. You know, I did something called the Hoffman process. I did the live retreat, but this is the book, the Hoffman process. And I want to tell you a story that happened. 20 men, 19 women, and most of it your own experience for seven, eight days. And you're not allowed to tell what you do until the second last day. In the second last day, I get up on stage, had one minute to share. I shared that I'm a dating relationship coach. Well, that evening in the jacuzzi, it was one of those 20, 30 people jacuzzi, all the women surrounded me. They wanted to talk to me. All the guys were looking at me like this, okay? Because they wanted to talk to this dating relationship coach. And one woman said to me, and I'll never forget this. She said, Jonathan, when I came here, there were two men that caught my eye, you and this other guy that looked like the Marlboro man. I mean, tough and rugged. I mean, just someone out of a cowboy movie. I mean, that's the way I interpreted them. She goes, you were the two men I was most attracted to. She said, after spending a week here, I would date every man in this room. See, when you get to see someone's heart and you look past the superficiality that we all do, and you really connect with someone's heart, you'd be surprised at the power of love when we can get past the facade of every human being. This is my invitation for you all. Is this resonating with you what I'm saying right now? Oh, by the way, one of our Facebook members, by the way, I have a great Facebook group. There's a link below to join the group. The person don't even know you and you're rejected. In other words, that's another point. That's a great point. This person doesn't even have an awareness that you're experiencing this. I mean, it's not like he did anything. All he said was, I'm not interested. That's all. By the way, we men get rejected all the time. Men will ask 100 women out on a date. They get rejected 99% of the time, but it's not rejection. They just got to know. It's like what Einstein went through when he created the light bulb. He said, I learned 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb. He didn't look at his rejection or failure. He just learned that it didn't work. Catherine wants to remind everyone, it's raining great men, Rachel, believe it. Yes, indeed. By the way, anyone want to join the hot seat? All right, let's keep going here. Let's keep going. Let's see if you have a question. Let's keep going. Melanie wants to say, I did say, let's take it slow after untrustworthy behavior. The behavior was freaking out and I wouldn't move in. I then had a year timeline he just didn't want to wait. Now, if you meant let's take it slow means let's take sex off the table, if that's what you mean, I can understand why he didn't want to do that, if that's what you meant. Because what is slow? You're either moving, either you're getting to know. Let's think about this for a second, folks. You're either getting to know each other or you're not. Taking it slow means I don't know if I like you enough, but I'll take advantage of all the sex and kissing and the entertainment. Think about that. When you get sex and entertainment, companionship, connection, and sex, you don't have to devote any level of commitment. That's what taking it slow means. There's no real desire to commit. It's like putting on the brakes on really, think about it, it's also putting on brakes on emotional intimacy. It's basically saying, I don't want to be emotionally intimate with you because I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. I get so riled up. Slow down, Jonathan. Let's see. Let's keep going. Hey, Sophia, thank you for the $10 Super Sticker. Thank you so much. Let's keep going. Does anyone have a question for me? Oh, here we go. I don't know how to pronounce your name. What does it look like when you're codependent? I don't think I am, but my love language is quality time, but I still like my own space. I have always thought codependency operates in two forms. Sometimes people who are enablers or fixers are codependent. They depend on taking care of someone, usually dysfunctional people, because they feed off of their being able to take care of someone. That's dysfunctional. That's one form of codependency. I think also another form of codependency is when I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. When I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself, when I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself, that's another form of codependency in my book. Flowers wants to know, what will happen when two anxious attachment style people meet and date? Will it turn into a marriage or living together? Depending on the intensity of their anxious attachment, oftentimes they can suffocate. One person gets suffocated. If it's intense, they get suffocated. I think even a person with a mild anxious attachment style, with another very mild attachment style, I think they have a lot more fun. I just do believe that because they both tend to be givers in the relationship. And since they're both givers, the tricky part is do they can it feel like too much a measurement? But yeah, they can move in together, get live together or get married. Yeah, that can absolutely happen. It's usually an avoidant attracts an anxious and attack anxious attachment is attracted to an avoidant, typically speaking. Leaves wants to know, if not already answered, how was your weekend retreat? All right, so since it got brought up, folks, I did share in my last live stream or I shared, oh, Brian's in the house. Okay, Brian, I'll get to you in one second. But to share, I did a psilocybin retreat with the Shaman. There were 11 people. It was a great experience. I had a real strong epiphany in so many different areas. I had so many downloads happen the day of and the day after. One in particular was a strong desire to connect with my roots with my heritage that was really strong came in. There were a number of other downloads I made notes. Just it'd be too popular. By the way, doing these journeys and trying to explain it is like trying to explain someone a dream you just had. But I can tell you it was beyond beautiful, beyond loving, beyond healing, great experience. So Leaves, thanks for asking. So Brian, let's add you to the mix. Hey, how's it going, Jonathan? Good, thank you. How about yourself? Not too bad. So what brings you in the house? Just listening to what you got to say. I agree with it all. They're saying let's take it slow. They're not that serious, I think. So we've got a man in the house and I want to give some ladies an opportunity to ask you questions. So I'm going to look in the chat box because I think women want to hear from men and they hear from me all the time. So you just said taking it slow when a guy says that, what does that mean from your perspective? They're not that serious. I mean three months time I asked my ex to move in. Okay. And do you mind sharing what happened, why she's an ex? She thought that I was cheating on her because she found a letter that was in a closet that I haven't cleaned since I moved into my home from my ex-mother-in-law that was 15 years old. And I threw it away in the garbage. So are you saying that one thing caused her to end the relationship? Well, I also had a hickey that she gave me the night before. Okay. But I was all upset about the letter and stuff. It didn't come to me that she gave me that hickey the night before. Okay. So there was some amorous experience between the two of you. It was kind of like a part of faith. Everything started later and during the fight. Okay. So how long ago did your relationship end? Ended July 3rd. Of this year? Yes. Okay. So now what brought you to my channel? That's relatively fresh. Were you watching me before this? Actually, when I met my ex-fiancée, she showed me one of your videos. I sat there and watched it and I looked at her and told her, this guy gets it. Okay. And my love twist, I made her watch one of your videos and she thinks you're cute. And she agrees with a lot of things you have to say. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I stopped doing therapy because I didn't want to hear what she had to say. And after the breakup, I went back to therapy because she was kind of correct on some things. Okay. So I want to say something for the audience because there's this belief that men don't do work and you go to therapy. What's the value of doing therapy? What's the benefit for you to do therapy? To work on myself, better myself, understand myself a lot more. Yeah. So we have a question that came in the house. Let's you and I answer it together. Okay. Azizia, I don't know how to pronounce her name says we have a distance relationship and talk almost every day and work on a lot of projects together online. He's so busy with his residency program. We saw each other online. What is your idea about us? All right. Did you catch what I said? Yeah. Okay. I want to hear what you think. That's a toughie. I mean, if they haven't met yet, face to face, it's hard to say. So they have a distance relationship, talk almost every day, work on a lot of projects together online. He's busy with a residency program and we saw each other online. What's your idea about us? Okay. So I'll jump in and answer this question. Okay. Oh, and she says they met twice. Okay. Okay. So I apologize. I don't know how to properly pronounce your name, but I'm going to say this. You have what's known as a cyber relationship. You have this relationship where you're connected both professionally, but via the phone. It's what could be happening. What could be being built is artificial intimacy, artificial intimacy, which means it's not real until you're actually in each other's physical presence. Now what I've observed is women could spend upwards to years attached to an artificial, it's like an electronic relationship basically. If you want a real day in day out relationship and he's in a residency program. So people are going through residency, I suspect has got a four or five year or three to five year period of time where they're busy constantly. Okay. They probably connect a lot of people that are doctors connect with other doctors to have physical intimacy in those particular cases because they work together. That's just a possible outcome. The problem is I suspect attached, oh, they're both residents. Okay. I'm assuming, wait, at the same, oh, tell me at the same hospital, are you residents in the same hospital? No, it can't be because you said long distance. So that can't be the case. So is it possible it could work out? I mean, slim, slim, slim chance likelihood he's going to connect with someone in his own hospital because guy. Okay. Tell me if I'm right, Brian, we are horny human beings, right? 100%. Okay. We like to have sex as, as soon as we can, if we got a live body, we want to have sex. Exactly. The person that says they're in different states, believe me, he will most likely connect with someone in his state or in his, in his hospital. I'm not saying this as an absolute, but it's a strong possibility. Well, it's like you say it's time spent together. Yeah. That's how you build deep trust with someone. Time spent together. Not over the phone and texting. And what CeCe wants to say, it sounds like a pen pal. I've met guys that just wanted that and then get rid of them. Again, if you want a serious day-to-day relationship, you have to make connections with people that are in your proximity. Oh, by the way, Sherry was just reciting what I always say, proximity creates continuity and continuity builds trust. Thank you for using my own words, Sherry. I really appreciate that. All right. Let's see if there's any other questions that popped in. Oh, Cecilia says, question. After you have anger issues with a twin flame, how do you permanently detach? How do you deal with the shared? How do you deal with the share, sharing the psychic field? Do you have any perspective on twin flames? Not me. I mean... Well, let me jump in then. Work on yourself. Okay. So what I believe she's describing is not a twin flame, but what I believe she's describing is a karmic relationship. Karmic relationships oftentimes are very volatile intentionally. They're designed to crack you open. And what you just said, Brian, was absolutely right. It's an opportunity to work on yourself. Okay. So how do you detach lovingly? First, ask yourself these four questions. What positive things about myself that I learned in this experience? How have I healed from this experience? What was good about our relationship and what am I most grateful for when you can actually sit in a state of gratitude over an experience and have gratitude for another human being? When you come at it from a place of love, that's when you've healed and you could be prepared for another relationship. Hey, Brian, I'm going to be heading off right now. So I'm going to take a few questions on my own. Thank you for hopping in. We really appreciate it. Yeah. We like you in the house. So thank you. Thank you, Jonathan. I'm going to give you a big Jonathan bear hug. Right back at you. All right. Thanks, bro. All right. McCoy wants to say twin flame relationships are hard and mirror our issues. We need to work on them at a higher levels. I've been doing this for three years now. Way to go. Yes, Mara says it's a karmic relationship. Our most people one has up to 8 million reincarnations, but only one twin flame very unlikely to meet a twin flame. Yeah, I believe twin flames is such a such an absolute long shot. I find it fascinating. All these millions of people have been flames and I believe it's a long shot. We have lots of soulmates in our lives that come into our lives to teach us a lesson, but there's very few true loves that you go that you really are a twin flame with at least in my opinion. Via has a question. There is a man I really love and cherish. I'm well mannered, well cultured. I'm more educated and make more money than him. Everyone around me says I would be with a everyone around me says I could be with a good man, good and wealthy man. However, all of my options, I want to choose someone who doesn't make as much money, but he is the one who could make me happy. Okay, let's see what else you have to say. I am young at 25. I'm inexperienced in relationship and I just want a fantasy like relationship with someone who other sees as an out of my league. Hey, folks, you know what? I'm just going to say this, Via. Listen, life's a journey. If you don't listen, if you don't need another human being to financially depend on in your life, then you can do it however you want. If you don't financially need someone, if you're not dependent financially on someone, then go after what you want right now. You're 25. Make as many mistakes as possible, but at some point, grow out of the fantasy and find someone who's a good fit for you. Unless you want children, then you have to think about something different. Okay, but if you don't need a man financially, you don't want children in your life, maybe for the next 10 years, then go after it. Go for the ride. See what happens. That's my invitation for you. By the way, to the person earlier who asked me what product do I use for my hair, folks, I do not color my hair. I have a little bit of gray right here. I do not color my hair. I just use mousse in my hair. What do I use Revlon 2 and 1 for my shampoo? So that's the product I use. By the way, does anyone, okay, I'm going to save the last couple of minutes. If you have a personal question for me, Leafs, anyone wants to ask a personal question before I log off for the evening, I will save the last couple of bits. If you have a personal question for me, write the word personal question. CC says, you have the best hair. You know what? I am blessed. Okay, maybe it's my Turkish roots. I don't know what it is. My dad had a wisp of gray here until he was 60, and then he started to go gray. My brother went gray at age 25, 30. I've been blessed. I'm just, you know, my sons used to say, Dad, you have hair of the gods. I love that he said they'd say that. It was always cute. I think my son wishes he had darker hair, but he has brown hair. His picture, that picture there, you can see they have more brown hair, and I've got darker hair. Okay. Okay. Really quickly, Mara has a question. From where in Turkey is your family from? My parents are both from Istanbul, Turkey, Istanbul, Turkey. And I believe my lineage goes, my grandfather was from Istanbul, and I think my grandfather before that, Constantinople. So Ria said, Miss Sika says, your thoughts on Tinder dating? I think Tinder is like any other app. It's just a portal. It's just a vehicle. Everybody says it's a hookup app. Every fucking app is a hookup app. We are in a hookup culture. Everybody is hooking up. It's not the app. It's the human beings that are hooking up. Okay. All right. Are you single? Officially, my relationship with Marie has ended, and we are still unraveling the logistics of our relationship because we did live together or do live together. But I won't put myself out there. You know what? I'm open. Let me just say this. If God, Universe Spirit wants to send someone in my life tomorrow and something occurs from that, Marie and I have had conversations about it. We feel very comfortable with that. If that happens, neither one of us is out looking though. So they answer your question. Let's go. Let's keep going. If you have a personal question for me, question, where did you get the blue favorite statue? Oh, that one right there. I got the mask from Guatemala when I went on a cruise through the Panama Canal. So yes, that's where I got that. David Bowie replied when asked what would he like to be remembered for? He said, great hair. You know, David Bowie had a real nice head of hair too. Let's see. Let's see. Shannon says, one of my favorite YouTubers, Nays, I got, you know, I butcher Turkish names, so I can't even pronounce that. Again, watch the show, Another Self and In Your Dreams. In Your Dreams is on Amazon. Someone write it in the box. In Your Dreams is on Amazon Prime. And Another Self is on Netflix. You've got to watch these. I mean, great, great, great stories about relationships. Sunflower wants to ask, what's my sign? I'm a Leo. I just had a birthday 17 days ago. I am a Leo. I have Leo in my son, my moon, my this, my that. I've got like four or five houses in Leo. Let's keep going. All right. You know what, folks? Ozzie is going to call it a night. And I think this is a great place to wrap up. Men who say this, let's take it slow. Good chance they're putting on the brakes because they don't see you as the one. Hope you found value in this. If you did, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Please hit that notification bell as well. If you got some, if you want to connect with me, check out the links below to a free discovery call to my group called Midlife Love Mastery. Get the books I recommend. Also, if you haven't ordered my book, What the Heck is Self Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Up, and Spiritual Work, I highly recommend checking it out. And those are in the links below. All right. I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic jot and bear hug. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a Pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs have a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I want to thank all the beautiful folks on Margaret, Mara, Cecilia, and Sherry, and Deborah. Andre, Leafs is in the house over an hour. If you have plans, Jonathan, no plans tonight. All right. And let's keep thanking Flour, and Ozzie, and McCoy, and Happy, and CeCe, and Cecilia, and Mary, and Deona, Alex, certainly Brian, we thank him, and Rachel as well. Big hugs to you all. Have a great evening. Be well. Thanks. Bye now.