 Foundation Terminal Online. Please enter login information and password. Hello, Dr. Collingwood. You have one new message from 05 Command. This message is for senior researcher Isabel Collingwood's eyes only. Unauthorized access will result in mandatory amnestic treatment, demotion, and possible termination. Do you wish to continue? Access to this message requires a multimodal biometric ID scan. Submit to scan. Commencing facial recognition scan. Do not smile. Identity confirmed. Commencing retinal iris scan. Do not blink. Identity confirmed. Commencing palm print scan. Place right hand on pad. Identity confirmed. Scanning hand for implanted RFID tag remains still. Identity confirmed. Access granted. The time, date, and location of your receipt of this message has been reported to 05 Command. From 05 Command. Subject 5 slash 999 clearance. Hello, Dr. Collingwood. And congratulations on your new appointment as SCP-999's head researcher. One of the cushiest and most enviable assignments in the entire Foundation. SCP-999 is one of the few anomalies in our custody who will not only never attempt to harm you, but will actively try to save your life if you're ever in danger. Though your initial reaction when receiving this assignment was no doubt elation, you may have thought it was odd that such a seemingly low-risk position was assigned by the 05 Council directly. If you had already heard rumors of this prior to your assignment, you probably thought it was mere nepotism. The 05's protecting their friends and loved ones by giving them the safest job possible. Unless you are so narcissistic to think that someone on the 05 Council must be your secret admirer, you've likely realized that this is not the case. To understand why this is our concern, you need to know about 999's origins. You may have noticed that its file makes no mention of where it was discovered. This is a deliberate omission. If you're not familiar with the mythology of the Scarlet King, I suggest you read up on him. There's plenty of unclassified information on him in the Foundation database. All that's relevant for now is that he is, to the best of our knowledge, the most powerful malevolent entity in the multiverse. A good number of RSCPs are either abominations born by the rape of his own daughters, or are the creations of mortals he empowered, either directly or indirectly. You've been with us since you were our research assistant, Dr. Collingwood. In that time, I assume you've heard many rumors about some of the horrific things we do here at the Foundation that you've never personally witnessed. Perhaps rumors about an innocent young girl who was the victim of a satanic ritual, and what we were forced to do to her to prevent an XK-class end-of-the-world scenario. Maybe you've even heard someone whisper the words, 110 Montauk. I regret to inform you that these rumors are true, or at least they were. A thaumaturgical cult calling itself the Children of the Scarlet King enacted a ritual wherein seven young girls became effigies for each of the Scarlet King's seven brides, allowing them to bear his horrid offspring. How they obtained the knowledge to perform this ritual is unclear, since all we ever recovered were handwritten notebooks. Superficial resemblances to some Sarkic practices, thaumaturgy, human sacrifice, body mutilation, and forming a pact with a cosmic entity has led some to speculate that the Children of the Scarlet King may have some ties to modern Sarkic cults. It's an interesting idea, but no concrete evidence has ever been found to link the two. Investigation into the matter is ongoing. As for the ritual itself, each birth caused more destruction than the last. The writings of the cult's priest predicted nothing less than the apocalypse if the seventh bride gave birth, which could only be prevented if procedure 110 Montauk was performed without fail each and every day. To our seemingly great fortune, the notebook contained detailed instructions on how 110 Montauk was to be carried out. Needless to say, we found this suspiciously convenient. Why would they devise a countermeasure to prevent the very apocalypse they were trying to invoke? We needed more information regarding these entities. Fortunately, our archaeologists have unearthed numerous tablets, scrolls, and artifacts of the ancient Davas. They were a sadistic and warmongering people who were granted unholy power and knowledge by the Scarlet King as a reward for the death and suffering they caused. One of the David tablets in our possession, found covered in dust and blood, was a theogeny for the Scarlet King and his brides. It was quite informative. The information that we found most relevant to our situation was that the seventh bride was not like her sisters. She was never completely broken by her king's subjugation. Instead of monsters, she gave birth to great heroes in the hopes that they would destroy her sisters' children and overthrow their father. Thus far, all have failed, but by a vote of seven in favor, six against, admittedly more out of concern for procedure 110 Montauk's lack of viability as a long-term containment strategy done out of empathy for the girl, the O5 council decided to believe that the seventh bride still remained unbroken and that her child would be an asset to us. At the risk of causing an XK-class end-of-the-world scenario, SCP-2317 was relieved from procedure 110 Montauk following the deaths of SCP-2311 through six and was allowed to give birth. SCP-999 was the result. Go ahead and read that again. Be sure you understand it in all its preposterous ridiculousness. The tickle monster is the child of the Scarlet King. We've been running a counterintelligence campaign ever since, which is why everyone in their mother thinks we've still got a prepubescent girl strapped to a rape rack in a bunker somewhere. Let them think that. Far better for everyone that the children of the Scarlet King believe that they're playing us for fools than they know that there is a threat to their king. The girl herself is fine, by the way. She was cured of the trauma from her ordeal by SCP-999, at which point it was decided she could be returned to her family so long as they were all given class F amnestics, implanted with new identities and relocated to a town at least 1,000 km away from the children of the Scarlet King's nearest known activity. On the insistence of the Ethics Committee, the family was also given a seven-figure payout as compensation for our repeated misdeeds against their daughter, as were the families of the other SCP-231s. I suppose it was technically malpractice on our part. In case we have any moles for the children of the Scarlet King in the Foundation, as far as anyone else knows, 231-7's family were killed in front of her as part of 110 Montauk. I'm sure you're skeptical. Are we insane? How could our sweet little tickle monster ever hope to dethrone a lovecraftian horror of unparalleled might? Well, SCP-999 is less than a decade old. It's still just a child, and nowhere near its full strength. Even so, its power is incredible. Even brief interaction with SCP-999 can permanently cure severe depression in PTSD, and more recent experiments have resulted in the complete reformation of D-Class personnel who were previously unrepentant sociopaths. This effect is not chemical, but psychic, and one day, it may grow powerful enough that not even the Scarlet King himself will be immune. The experiment with SCP-682 was most remarkable. Based on multiple Dayvite texts, including descriptions from SCP-140 itself, we are reasonably certain that 682 is the offspring of the fourth Scarlet Bride. If this is true, then SCP-999 is already strong enough to temporarily quell the malevolence of its own eldritch siblings. One day, 999 could very well be strong enough to permanently reform its family members, just as it reforms human beings. It will not overthrow the Scarlet King by force, but with light and love and laughter that can brighten the blackest of hearts. 999 is not, in reality, a safe-class SCP. It is Thaumiel. It is the best, and really, the only weapon we have against some of the most powerful hostile entities known to exist. By all means, doctor, enjoy the relative safety of your new position. But do keep in mind that SCP-999 is not a mere pet that we fancy. It is one of our most valuable assets, and must be safeguarded at all costs. Its safety and well-being are paramount, and you are not at liberty to share this information to anyone without Level 5-999 security clearance. As per protocol, unauthorized disclosure of Level 5-classified information will result in your termination. This email will automatically delete as soon as you leave the terminal, so feel free to reread it as many times as necessary to remember all of the pertinent information. Take good care of our little tickle monster. The fate of the multiverse may well depend on it. Your secret admirer, if anyone asks. 05. Message deleted. You have zero. Unread messages. Logging off. Goodbye. Warning! Containment breach detected. All Foundation staff members report to the affected cell immediately. SCP-999 has broken out of SCP Foundation control and is now in our world. For reasons as of yet unknown, SCP-999 has changed form, dropping into an 11-inch huggable, squeezable plush variant of itself and has apparently started multiplying to millions over a small period of time via data-expunged fission. SCP-Orientation trainees and civilians all over the world are now able to bring SCP-999, the tickle monster, into their own home. Tickle monster plushes are available for pre-order now and all orders made in the next 10 days also get a special limited first edition card. Worldwide shipping is available, so go to scpswag.com right now and pre-order your own tickle monster right now. And remember, secure, contain, and protect your tickle monster at all costs.