 a skinn My god First episode of season five. We are back. Holy shit. It's been a long time Since we've done this yeah, it's been a while a lot has happened since November. It's been a hot minute Matt the force I'm not I'm not even trying to be funny like the floor sucks my arms hurt my back sore I have to sit in a position you got toys and you're in my vomit and at least we have a we have a couch that reclines oh man this at least we have that oh oh yeah we've upgraded and this couch is best idea Marty has had in a long see now now we are now we're lying down so we've redone the set and let me does that mean your feet are like blocking me now let me let me draw your gaze there you go man is that better let me draw your gaze to this bottle here you may have seen our promo video now over at the break right Matt made a huge discovery Matt where did you find that bottle so we thought we lost it in the move yeah but I actually had stuck it in the one of my backpacks in here in the front of backpacks sometimes I've got like a little extra zipper where you can slide and like a little pocket in there and that's where Matt found his bottle of mints all right this is like we I don't know if we're allowed to say it he's cunt fuck off seriously we need to start working on not swearing in the first three minutes stay on track we're talking about the cum bottle sorry sorry look this bottle invest is filled with Matt's cum alright he spent a good six months was it ejaculating into this bottle over and over this is a this is real alright this is not we haven't we haven't replaced this with something else it is legit we don't first the cum bottle I mean so first the golly bottle now we have the cum bottle I don't know if I'm comfortable telling everyone about all right look we're gonna force you to do it so just blame it on but now I'm like and also look mom just so you know viewers we will be referring to this bottle as Matt's mints bottle we need to because if we keep saying that it is what it is then the videos will get removed okay because you can't have a bottle of ejaculate just sitting on the set it will get removed for all sorts of different reasons what about the calm bottle the calm no no we shouldn't even go near mints it's Matt's mints bottle right there but we just wanted to address it because we want you to know that that is real and there is a segment the Matt versus Michael segment because they both desire this cum bottle more than anything else sorry mints bottle and during this season's season finale one of them will win Matt's mints bottle to do with whatever they please yeah during the finale why do you want it I don't know it looks cool it's beautiful there's a lot of works gone into that cut that corner do not say how many loads it's a by the way yeah kind of cut Matt mentioning how many loads we're not of a lot of effort has gone into that yes we're not going to tell you how many loads because we're going to have a competition to see if anyone can guess these exact amount of loads in that bottle so we want you to comment how many loads is kind of like the jelly bean how many jelly beans in the jar game how many loads of mints are in that mints bottle comment how many you think it is will you continue to add to it throughout the season or will it remain the same number for the whole rest of it I reckon if someone guesses it we'll give them some money and then you can continue to add to it and we'll we'll because yeah maybe now I think we continue adding to it because if some as people start guessing the load number will change all the time what how about this right instead of just adding to it like one or two loads a day you start a separate bottle and then halfway through the season you can pour that in and then people can try and guess again how fuck do you think I am dude you open that bottle oh the smell of a thousand courses it's like it's like it's like the golly bottle it's it's I'd say it's worse no the golly bottle was corpse that's far no I don't mind the cum bottle as much actually really like mint bottle it's a mince no roll with me on this so when it's start when we started last season there was no smell for so long and then one day it just started changing it's like there was death because it went off the view your little cells died and that smells like like it's just unbearable Michael that is legit everyone don't tell anyone though okay it's Matt's mince bottle we can't let anyone find out any of the platforms hosting what that really is have a guess in the comments at how many goes Matt has had in that how many goes you did in it I can't believe we know wireless fucking headphones yet it's been a fucking rough run anyway let's continue the shit talk right we had our holidays and fuck me we went off the rails okay exactly what we were worried about happening happened we partied far too hard got and and undead or stopped exercising mental health went down drinking you know doing stupid shit and and just the first week back at work which was two weeks ago was rough as fuck we're still recovering and right now we are sober okay no alcohol and no drugs weed fine on weekends and guess what it's Friday so I will be partaking in some naughty I'm a very naughty boy and already this is day 19 no alcohol or drugs feel so much better blood pressure was right back high week one two weeks later it's come back down it's fucking life so I'm telling you can't I'm fucking telling you fucking can't you Luigi fucking can't Matt did not Matt did not do math yeah we had a boys trip and it's we know it we're sorry to say Matt really did not partake in any of I didn't do any drugs I did I did drink but I did not do any drugs when Michael and I have found a new love for ketamine oh my it's fucking great and I found a new hate for it they're in the reason I hated those because I had to sit through sober while every single person around me was on cat and I'm telling you you'll never hate you'll never hate your friends more and when unless you saw what was so mad about it just you can't you can't like what's like the attention span of things gone like it's like we were looking over at Matt and he's just sitting there just lost on the boys trip saying this is not what I fucking signed up for here at the brown room house but you can't go home but there is an upside to it because if you were drunk and on on other things as well if I was like oh you know what I'm gonna go to bed at like one in the morning you guys would turn into an absolute panic mode and attack wouldn't leave me alone for hours all right but on cat on cat I'm allowed to just join us Matt you should have joined us and then we haven't done cat much until the boys trip and now yeah once again it's a lot of fun once again I was seeing lock in that state just didn't put me in the right spot yeah he saw all of us when you're too fucking drunk yeah okay hold drink and do cat just to do cat on its own but you know in moderation and then another one of our friends had a bad experience right in front of me and I just it's not for me yes because he just do a little bit it's so yeah don't do it all the time but do you care we'll tell our friends that no no no because otherwise yeah I can't really get there but anyway we're sober now and I'm gone this is the longest I've done in since I was old enough since I first started drinking I'm going a hundred days no alcohol and no drugs leading up to my wedding and I'm just gonna see what happens and already I feel very a lot better what about your bucks yeah yeah well that's right before the wedding so that's when I that'll be after the hundred days so that's fine excited you're gonna get married yeah I am but like on back to the sobriety I'm starting at the older I get the more I'm like leaning towards just fucking it all off a it's just not worth it anymore it's you just we're too old you can't and if you're in your 20s and you're drinking every fucking weekend and you're getting fucked up it will catch up with you I'm telling you you got a fucking you got to be careful of that shit and now yeah yeah yeah now it's just it's hard to stop now moderation got any like a fucking pig God no exercise once you stop for a bit it's so hard to start motivation and shit anyway back to the boyship we there weren't any wild stories like we usually have it was kind of shit having it at the brand read because when you have it at another place you get that excitement when you fucking get there and you know because we're here all the time anyway it was like you know it did a bit of work on the foot like it was just a bit shit and the canoeing thing that we always go whitewater rafting was shit and and like I don't know it's probably the worst boy still a lot of fun it was probably the worst boys trip we've had to date I think it's a perfect place for it but we need it somewhere else ketamine saved it yeah look we still had a lot of fun okay the boys trip is always a lot of fun do you understand sorry thank you all right we've also hired two new full-time editors Ryan and Cooper they've joined the Marty and Michael team I met them today yeah and they are fucking we're pumping out some content let me tell you this year I got a good feeling about this year we're pumped we're just filming filming filming because we don't need to edit anymore neither does James so we just filming heaps of shit James is on tiktok now chinny Jim you can balance anything on his chin it is a truly fantastic skill you know he did like 20 crates today yeah I was curious about the and we're gonna do more but we just need to figure out a way to pile him on top he balanced a soccer goal on his chin and what if you stand on the roof and stand on the ladder on the roof and then you can palm from there and then you can walk off yeah maybe maybe Matt God that's what I'm here for thank you no Matt I'm Matt single we need we're not a bachelor brown they want a fucking explanation we've got a new segment and it's called live bachelor brown no come on in yeah you wish okay God that that had me for like a micro second one Luke walk look so bachelor brown as you all know it did work but then over the holidays like Matt had a girlfriend full legit girlfriend he got back with his ex and things were looking okay and Matt what happened oh it was very very good but uh Leah being a single mother she wanted to move closer to her family smells like the mince bottle oh yeah that's what I mean it's actually smells like that anyway sorry continue sorry about that um yeah she wants to move closer to her family for more support she hasn't got a lot of support in Queensland I hope you get fucking divorced now married yet now at least now it's time fresh again look we're not going to do the bachelor brown segment again this would have been so good but would you if we if we when it was dead everyone hated that segment by the end of last year we still had Ethan out there he what about Ethan no well he started talking to her would you go on a date with Isla oh my god have you still been talking to her yeah a little bit um everyone tags me and anything he gets posted I get like at least two guys keep that whenever you don't tag Matt no no you have to because because it'll make her want you more too saying oh my god oh my god there are so many people that want us to be together like wow yeah yeah it's social proof oh my god milk milk would you milk her what if you had to would you milk her if I had to oh my god he said he'd milk her if Jack the cow helped you would you help Jack the cow everyone tell Isla that Matt wants to milk her screen shot screen shot this look here screen record that and no I don't know if I can do this okay what about if root the tree if root the tree helped you would you help root the tree um but yeah I'd say chat to Isla yeah okay so look and Isla's cool so Matt's single now unfortunately is uh some unlucky circumstances I love he's single again now single brown and um look my mutual agreement single it wasn't a bad breakup or anything yeah yeah it was absolutely it's just she's has to move away and that's fair enough isn't that right brown yeah anyway so that's enough about that I'm heartbroken yeah he is um so the plan for this year guys we're gonna do a live show for the season finale obviously we're gonna get a bigger venue um so that more people can come right we got new segments we got a new set as you can see things are just on the up and improve we're gonna get more guests on this year right and fuck me it's it's uh yeah we're in for a real treat so sit sit down on a like a chair we've got a reclining chair fuck you and then just really get ready to enjoy this shit because fucking this season five is our year you're fucking so this is not season four this is season five this is our fifth year fifth that's crazy doing this shit for five years you know that's like one sixth of my life and like one tenth of yours we'll cross 200 episodes why in this season yeah we'll get to 200 that's that's correct Matt Brown that's correct we're Joe Rogan yeah no yes we are man every day every night all day every night we're Joe Rogan trained by day Joe should we clip that no no okay sorry no we can we will thank you none of this would be possible we have um two sponsors we have a third coming on soon um mother energy drink we're still discussing things with them so they'll be coming on later in the season but um standing tall with us we of course have manscaped and athletic greens so we just like to take a second to thank our sponsors thank you let's do like like a 10 minute silence yeah i reckon a 15 to 20 you guys could not do a 10 minute silence i bet you anyway well it's pretty good we had a bit of a silence then all right manscaped they've given they gave me like a whole new thing to say but like i'm just gonna ignore that what do you mean they just look yeah no no sir manscaped are you disappointed with how things are going in life yep do you get up in the morning and hate yourself and think i have to go through this monotonous monotonous day by day torture is that you well then you need to listen to me do you understand i need you to sit down and put all your attention on the words coming out of my mouth because you are headed for devastation the time is now the time to act and change is now if you don't change now you never will there will never be the perfect time to go to manscape.com and start buying male grooming shit to fix your fucking face there will never be the perfect time oh i didn't have enough money bullshit go get a fucking loan ask your mum for some cash go to manscape.com fully actual 20 and get 20% off they will fix your life the first step to success is to look like success and right now you look like a drug fucked drag queen can't tell them to steal steal manscape to woollies steal steal they're everywhere now steal steal money that you can pay for their product steal steal money so you can pay for manscape products it's for women women go and steal have sex have sex for cash have sex for cash and buy some manscapes for your boyfriend what i'm trying to say is there's a way out okay there's a way out of this and you're not listening to me stop wallowing yourself pity sitting there playing with your cock well you're listening to a 50 year old man dressed like luigi i'm 35 sell your body for money go to manscape.com and begin the journey to success okay fix your shit manscape.com slash fully actual 20 for 20 percent off to fix your shit fix it fix it put nails in your shit squish your shit squish your shit in the bricks also for women that was the best one for me ever athletic greens you might be thinking to yourself what what's that what's that say what's that talking about athletic greens i don't play sport well you don't need to athletic greens is a health supplement that helps you we take athletic greens every day and do you know why do you know do you know why we do that because we've trashed our bodies for decades do you understand years and years of physical abuse drinking poisons snorting chemicals fucking our brains athletic greens is one of the only things that is a substitute for nutrients that we don't have are you on a bender do you drink on weekends well get athletic greens okay it's a satchel it's a little sachet your powder you pour it in a glass you fill it with water and you drink it and it's so good for your gut and just for everything all right it makes it literally gives you a boost of energy and it helps you if you make bad decisions with your food and drink if you're a fucking unhealthy fuck this is perfect for you it's such an easy way to extend your life by a couple of decades man no one's got time to eat like 20 apples and three bananas and heaps of veggies every day you just have this one satchel instant energy boost you feel better job done it's literally it is it's it's so good all right and and athletic greens slash fully actual if you subscribe to them it's like a monthly subscription where they just send you what you need and it lasts your month every day for a month you will get a free travel pack with that subscription do you understand and the travel pack it comes with a scoop and you can have it on the go bro i put it in my protein shakes he puts his protein so it's raining and it's great for your gut legitimately we do have it every day now we thought oh yeah we'll we'll give it a go we'll see how it is i do i do not go a day without it i had it before this podcast every day we have it and it it helps to take away the damage that you do to yourself all right all the damage because a lot of people listening they make bad decisions like we do this will help undo some of that and you may as well if we had these in our 20s man i would have fucking been down in that shit you fucking can't if you smoke cigarettes you can have athletic greens and it makes it like you're not having cigarettes or less cigarettes i think can you say that i think we can say it as long as we end it with i think okay i thought it brings a cure's cancer as well i think no i'm i back that i'm maybe he backs out i think anyway athletic greens slash fully actual okay i just give it a crack all right athletic greens it's delicious powder that is very good for you the guy who invented it was like dying right he had all these he was on all this medication he had like Crohn's disease his gut was fucked he invented this and he's no longer on any medications Joe Rogan that takes it as well he on Crohn's that's what i mean when i was saying we're Joe Rogan he said we are Joe Rogan yeah because he does the same as us yep that's correct yep i don't know bang done now oh it's gonna start again most single most people right love horoscopes because they're so accurate aren't they they are just like everything that they say is always 100 true and not vague and generalized at all it's the future it is it is the future and right now so i have like gotten the horoscopes of like 50 horoscopesians and compiled all the data and they sent me weekly horoscopes and i've got one for Michael for Matt and for Julian all right they're three horoscopes types did you get yourself on god can we call them scorpions yeah we can't okay you're fucking idiot sorry all right Michael you're a torus that's correct or a torus as we like to say what are you my he is a Pisces which is a fish i believe is it yeah is it really a fish i guess that anyway what's Julian Michael for this week yes get to that alarm for torus this week as you enter the new year the moon twitches like a fresh corpse which could make you attracted to a close relative explore those feelings especially if it's your sister make wildly risky investments with all of your money and don't shower use the energy from Jupiter's disagreement with the sun and shit on the sand at the beach build a sand castle around it and tell some children that there's a hidden surprise in the castle watch on as they eagerly dig into the castle see their shocked reactions as they discover your shit sacrifice a cat with a shovel next week you'll get thrush in four days oh my god it's kind of shit to here isn't it literally a sandy shit thrush in four all right julians now julian is a libra a libra like a library and a libra i believe is a fox with the ass of a cat i think don't quote me on that matt maybe jupiter's all fucked off because the sun sold at a week bad during a festival so don't cut your shit down too much or jupiter will snitch on you the dog right now is the perfect time to join a biker gang and get away with fair evasion on trains rip a bong and do a nang at the same time to help mercury realign its ribs it ain't weak to speak except for the next five days so keep your mouth shut until next wednesday when you can come out and vent to your mates while i'm empty a mate that is spot on and like it does kind of sound like julians life yeah holy so interesting so far it's so accurate like michael's very accurate julians very accurate all right let's see matt so matt is a pissies or a pisces sorry isn't it a pissies a fish a pissies is a fish just right satin's rings pulse with which means that you should try to have sex with your family pets you've weathered the karmic north node so don't give up on the quest to intimidate the neighbor's children effort in this area will yield high results in the future continue to black male women with provocative pitches you took of them and show a stranger your dick massage your swollen prostate to loosen a trapped stool built up within mars is a fuckwit so expect no progress in your professional career wow that's so that's is a fuckwit yeah i agree man i mean they make it his big deal about going there but fuck off fuck off man you know fuck off just fuck off mars so that's the horoscope segment um and and by the way guys just if you have any suggestions for segments or you want to see something come back or you hate something let us know because we get a whole new list of segments some might be shit we haven't tested it yet bro all right also while i've got your fucking attention can't don't forget to subscribe on youtube don't forget to like don't worry so much about the comment all right just watch the whole fucking thing through you can leave a comment if you want we'd read them all that'd be nice wouldn't it mate you like some reading and give us a five star review on spotify thanks yeah that'd be that'd be good we're growing as a community we're all growing we're a group of rings growing by word of mouth it's beautiful let's keep that train chugging along and that's the fucking train driver pouring the coal in the fucking thing fucking contributing in a fucking global warming you dumb cunt you fucking cold chug and cunt all right guys oh it is matt matt hungry i think you'd have lunch all right guys it is now time for the main segment of this podcast Matthew vs Michael is Matthew vs Michael in a competition wow we've got to come up for a jingle for that you should just do that you try do one what do a jingle i'm not good at come on have a go brown all right he's being shy and bashful matt and michael i'll try knock knock who's there who's there knock knock who's there i was sitting on my chair oh no it's michael i feel like i could beat that all right that's all three are very usable jingles all right now this segment is where michael and matt will go head to head against each other and we will keep track of who is winning this competition all the way to the season finale so there are going to be 40 competitions in total the winner will get to keep matt's bottle of mints and do with it what they will michael i feel like i'm gonna get quite competitive in this i just want to say that at the end i'd still want to be friends oh no i'm scared is this like are we going to fucking wrestle right now no no well all right the first competition is a good old-fashioned and you haven't even told us what it is you can't just i'm just about to we have no way to prepare yeah yeah that's the whole point oh there is no prep for you guys fuck anyway the first competition is arm wrestle arm wrestle arm wrestle arm wrestle arm wrestle now matt is left-handed michael is right-handed so to make it fair they will have a right-handed arm wrestle then a left-handed arm wrestle and then if it's a tie they will have a thumb wrestle to decide who is the winner for today oh no here we go oh i hate arm wrestlers because i've seen the footy show where the shit why do you have to choose arm wrestle oh it's for the greater good i might just lose it's for the greater good on your knees weapons on your knees this is big this is the this is the first competition holy shit this is this is exciting as fuck all right i'll try and explain it as best i can for those listening on spotify all right they're going left-handed first all right don't know win geng just a normal fucking arm wrestle i want full power from both of you all right michael's got some wiry weird weasel strength but matt brown's got the density of a thousand cows three two one begin oh it's close it is a deadlock oh my god i'm gonna oh my god michael all right michael has taken a one new lead he won the left hand left no you just gave up i don't like arm wrestlers oh matt don't don't you're scared of wendell sailor yeah have you seen that dude that's so rare that do you think michael's strong enough to break your radius and ulna yeah three two one begin oh it's close it's close oh all right all right guys that is fucked there you have it oh my i'm yeah this is good that is the first competition done and dusted michael has taken a one nil lead i honestly thought i was gonna fucking lose that yeah i thought matt would at least look at your arms they're thicker than dick all right look he's taking you know you fucking make that and you don't want to keep it you imagine when you have a kid you're just gonna fuck that i can't even oh yeah have it have it stranger i've got 40 more what do you mean 38 39 have you been set you got to make sure you every you don't waste them they all go in that bottle dude i'll overflow it it's only half full i can't wow i honestly thought i was gonna lose that yeah or at least be a little bit closer anyway all right look michael's taken an early lead the competitions will get more intricate and detailed as we go okay so get ready i'm also open to suggestions so leave in the comments if you have any suggestions for a matt vs michael competition all right moving along to a brand new segment who's the better brown during the week we contacted other browns many other browns out there there are hundreds and thousands of them they all damned us and said i am the best brown and i handpicked one this brown has the chance to win two hundred dollars just like that wow really yes what are they gonna do they have to beat you they have to be you matt at what being better at brown a foot race come in other brown it's so good no i'm gonna call him and then you will have a trivia based on brown all right you ready matt no all right you're gonna you're gonna speak to a fellow brown it's not ready dude imagine talking to someone else with your exact same last name freak out this is like every time i talk to my old paranormal i go what the fuck's going on yeah it's like twilight zone shit i've never ever met a stranger strange socolinsky yeah of course if there is another yeah that's fucked up he's probably related to fuck that why are you guys saying such things it's just it's fucking ridiculous that name so but you can see how rare this is so this is like you could be related maybe like ages ago maybe well it's your dad well that'd be funny all right let's be impressed all right let's call this brown and begin the trivia hello hello it's marty hello how are you mate can you hear me it's marty it's fucking y'all marty what's going on man you should be able to do the thing okay yeah i'm just looking at the questions all right now um what can you please state your full name blade brown laid laid brown it's nearly laid down blade brown blade brown now matt brown his last name his last name is also brown so you guys have the same last name would you guys have anything to say blade brown that's your name fuck yeah all right did you check this yes wow this is a cool name fuck yeah so do you guys it's so you guys both have the last name do you have anything to like say to each other you guys could be related or something isn't that yeah probably say something only browns would get Matt where's your family from Australia yeah but whereabouts in Australia yeah so there's browns they're fucking everywhere like a fucking plague all right now browns i will ask you some brown trivia all right five questions whoever gets more if matt brown gets more questions right then blade you don't get two hundred dollars but blade if you are the better brown we will transfer you two hundred dollars of bag money straight into your bank account for the weekend all right boys here we go good luck blade i reckon you guys can't call each other your first names it has to be brown oh so say good luck brown good luck brown good luck brown it's so funny there's two browns on the phone be more brown brown first question millie bobby brown suffers from which disability blade you answer first is it a is it a vision impairment b def c mental health conditions d a collapsed vaginal passage um i'm going for a a vision impairment yep matt brown yep and no i'm not repeating why watch yeah you fuck is deaf you reckon deaf yeah oh no it's a a you're going a as well no it's deaf final answer yeah deaf matt brown you are correct matt is on one unlucky blade right you got you got to bring this home blade who's millie bobby brown who just another brown dude you should fucking know yeah i thought you were sisters with her idiot all right yeah that's my long one cousin yeah see blade blade all right question number two question number two how old was james brown when he died i'll take the closest answer blade you go first 24 or maybe matt should answer first because he's in the lead matt you answer first no can i change my first yeah yeah just let matt answer first and then because then you'll have an advantage then i don't think he's dead you don't think he's dead all right blade what do you reckon blade um 49 49 49 the answer is 73 he is dead so blade gets one back that's one that's one all with the browns how many me complicated all right question number three what did he die i don't know the largest brown bear ever found wait listen the largest brown bear ever found weighed more than a convertible mini cooper is this true or false matt true both wrong it's false the bear weighed 750 kilos and the car is 1250 kilos question number four it's still one all this is so close yeah this is good all right on average what percentage of shit is protein brown brown shit um matt do you care about not yeah 10 percent all right blades going 10 percent brown what percentage is protein in your brown 2.5 fuck brown knows his shit the answer is three percent all brown is taking the lead it's taking the lead i think your body would be absorbing all right all right here we go the final question come on blade here we go so if you can get this brown blade then this is we'll go into a tie breaker have a brown off yeah a brown off exactly right all right all right question number five which of these celebrities has brown eyes kira nightly or lando bloom or kathryn hygel is only one you have to go first yes uh kira nightly all right matt has said kira nightly blade what do you say kathryn hygel all right you were both wrong wrong all of them do all of them have you didn't give us that option holy shit wait so what is the score is that oh shit it's too much matt fuck blade brown blade all right all right so unlucky blade fuck you nearly had him he's a good brown matt's a very strong brown yeah he's a very strong brown the powerfulness of his brown is unheard of all right all right blade brown i'm so sorry um we can't give you the 200 dollars today but thank you so much for playing along and spread my brother spread the word far and wide matt brown is the most powerful brown if you know any other browns i want to challenge him get him to DM us we will crown the main brown by the end of the season be safe brown see you buddy see a blade legend yeah yeah this is going in the podcast yeah dude you're on the podcast this is brown oh wait wait stay stay listen listen listen listen yo oh why why why i got you i got you why why why oh no that was a sheet that was very good that was brown yeah my dog's brown all right buddy have a bloody great weekend mate we'll chat to you soon oh see you dude bye oh push it that's like sour milk smells like the fucking mince bottle nothing smells like the mince all right that's the that's the brown that's the who's the better brown well done that brown yeah you can do very brave you need to be better the question you can't say all of them you need to add that as an option no you made up for the the week look brown you that you you said you opted to choose um what was it but i didn't know all of them was a choice that's a problem that's a problem with your game you say you gotta think outside you said you said the james brown question you were like no he's not dead yet yeah but once again you should have gave us the option no you just have to know you have to be the better brown okay i won't i won't have you discussing the game rules any further who's the better brown okay accept the rules or don't so sorry everyone that you had to see that but sometimes a brown just needs to be put down i hate sitting lower than you because you can really just talk down to me and it's hot eyeline our fart eyeline with brown brown air brown lungs put the brown down put the brown down brown oh my god the room is far guys moving right along okay we've got a brand news segment now this segment will only be starting next week this is called michael's movie reviews michael's movie reviews and this is a segment where matt brown will select a movie that michael has to watch before next week's episode and then michael is going to give us a detailed review now you may remember from last season michael doesn't like many of matt's movie selections matt thinks he is a movie connoisseur he thinks he's good you think you have good movie take you do matt you always talk about movies yeah i always talk about i didn't say i'm a connoisseur yeah he has said that you think you know your movie you said that at a funeral once highly inappropriate matt thinks he knows everything there is to know about movies so matt's gonna pick a movie that he loves and michael's gonna review it to let the general public know what it's actually like so this yeah this has to be movies that brown actually loves and thinks is good all right matt what have you got for michael to watch uh next week i can't think of the year that it was made but i feel like it was the 90s but who cares really we want i'm gonna let you make you watch a disney film and it is it's the three musketeers but but it's the it's isn't that got venverdi baddest the clearest in it's got charlie sheen it's the charlie sheen version so there's no like n janice joplin or whatever his name is janice joplin's a singer you should know that that fucking embarrassed guy and tony van deris no that's a mascazora oh okay same movie to me they are both i guarantee shit then you're gonna oh i should get him to watch mascazora i've seen that and it's shit all right you watch it again so but it's the it's the key for sullen charlie sheen version what year so it's like 90s okay so it's old like show me it it's like 90s do you do even have something you can play that no no we'll get a bit he can download it it'll download it so it's got the old parental the guidance like symbol like so the old like symbols that you dickhead it's every film has a guidance yeah yeah but no it's got the old style it hasn't got color coding like the fucking yellow one it looks old so this is probably from the 90s right what are you talking about well you know how you got the m now that there's the classic m but then now the the new m is it's got blue in it i don't want you to talk about that anymore anyway i can promise you just by looking at this cover and this is also this is a guaranteed this isn't a theory any movie that is PG is shit it's shit it's shit it's shit it's like there's no there's no adult jokes there's no risque shit it's just like boring and shit you need there's heaps of kids film i'm going to watch a fucking kids film you like that sandlock kids okay sand like okay that's PG sandlock kids is still sort of shit as an adult sandlock kids as a kid look look look we're not going to know what you truly feel about the movie until you watch it so mark is going to watch it and then next week he's going to give a detailed review and we'll finally see what he thinks of the movie for real i avenge you father all right it's going to be good all right i fucking promise you it's not all right guys we're going to have a cheeky bong break and we'll be right back with the lying segment because locky has no idea that we're filming the podcast right now it's a for crying out we're going to call locky now and we're going to lie to him he has no idea that we're recording the podcast this week let's just say let's say oh we're coming to the coast for the week on the week no no tell him we're doing another boat trip day and we get we're hiring a boat next week does he want to come on oh wow yes yes yes it's back look in the camera oh that's gonna reek too yeah because i've been needing to poop it all day and i've haven't so that i can do that for you it's all for you everything i do it's all for you um so i can we tell him that we're going on another fishing trip do you want to come jack we'll get jackson as well he loves why don't we say something even just tonight like we do we've um we're coming to the coast tonight um he'll he'll pick up on that we're coming to the coast tomorrow we're coming to the coast tomorrow uh because we have something going on there because we have a meeting there i reckon if we give him time because he could have plans this weekend if we say look next thursday we're coming down we want to do another boat trip are you down to come along simple easy get some i'd be excited he had a good time with us last time we build it up say yeah we're going to bring some weed we're going to get high look we might even do some ket again we'll mention the ket and then we tear him down we hurt him and we say mate everything that we said is a lie and it's not happening we're going to see for probably a few weeks maybe a month before he says and let's really band together to destroy him here yeah well you you're just doing the call we jump in once yeah yeah so we all need to work together to really make sure that he knows that he's made a grave error here okay you have reached a message we'll call back anyway one of them will call back and we fuck we we hurt them all right well um we hurt them should we move to um just want to get the q and a explanation i gotta watch the three masketeers how long does it go for like two not too long i'll watch it with you if you want fuck off is it three hours that movie no it's like an hour three hours it'll be an hour the runtime will be on the back of the cover all right look we're gonna wait for lock your greg to call back everyone all right we're gonna move ahead with a podcast but we'll circle back around when they call we'll drop everything to answer their call all right moving right along next we have we don't have the q and a this week because obviously it's first episode back so if you'd like us to answer your questions please comment on the mighty michael fully actual youtube channel we answer the most liked questions first after you comment your question have a scroll through and like the questions that you want us to answer post your questions the brown will read them but for now we are going to have a look at our po box because we got sent some shit over the holidays baby raise the roof man raise the roof sorry sorry i went too far all right first we have so this is a package for bosley oh so he should be here for this sure i'll go get him bosley doors are closed he doesn't know he's sleeping right now yeah he's having a nap all right we'll open up for him he's entertaining our guest oh what is he gonna oh there's fucking treats can't oh my god right oh that's not for bosley that's for us raspberry it's so that's not for bosley surely yeah no way it's intense though this is not a good smell what i'm smelling what is it it just smells like dog shit oh okay is this safe to eat read the card first before you eat anything really hard to marion michael it's liam i have been messaging you guys on instagram about my pop and and most recently my mom i just wanted to say thank you guys for everything and your videos have gotten me through a very hard time this is a gift for bosley but yours is coming thanks again love you guys ps i will send a photo through instagram of my tiktok and instagram would love a follow back dude yes we will follow you back do we just keep an eye out for his dm i suppose i will dms again on instagram and just let us know that it was you and we will find you on tiktok and follow you okay let's keep looking through these thank you liam thank you liam wow so he's like a dog look he's got tusks was that a little shirt for boss yeah wow boss he's gonna love this a is that chocolate he was literally smelling this package when we brought it through the door he knew i think so i had some i think it's dog chocolates oh yeah it is too it's dog chocolate it's legit dog chocolate you're not meant to eat dog chocolate yeah i actually ate a bit totally not that bad we have a squeaky toy oh boss he's gonna love that oh he's probably look if that if there's that door open the glass door he'll probably come to the door now chicken feet things yes look look look there he is i want to go get him here he calmly watch the cords more shit for bozzy was a little bossy was a little bossy toys you have a little bossy look at this more toys what the fuck is that a little little horseshoe thing he's overwhelmed here boss fucking more treats for this some of these dehydrated chicken hearts are you fucking kidding me something there oh there you go boom they're like a santa santa some shit boy a little shirt for bozzy shirt for him that's beautiful he has a lot of shit in here squishy ball caramel caramel eggs oh man i'm going off the rail okay i'm such a piece of shit oh yeah we're wallowing in our sickness dude thank you so much lamb this is outstanding work bozzy can you please thank lamb say thank you lamb uncle laggy tail if you understand me good boy boy all right one more and then we'll save the rest i think this we only got two more sorry oh what is this wow it's it looks like a shirt someone did tell me they were sending a t-shirt in is that a shirt yeah not in there oh there is a note bozzy's so keen for shit look at him no there's no note in there wow what a whoever fucking made this for us thank you because holy shit it's us what was it there's no better shirt than us than having mine house mine holds mine holds my neck which is my neck very good very hard box oh wow look your neck there's a picture on the shirt of me with a really long neck that is a very good show that's the best thing we've been sent in a long time ever oh can the person who sent that let me know who's the best thing we've ever been sent i think holy shit very good do you want this last one done mindful is that no one then does that not have anything bad on it before you look at it i don't think so i think this is a there's no emblems a young child i'm worried about what's in this just be mindful it could be oh go slow dude thank you so much everybody for sending that in all right so lastly we have a little little packet looks like some cords in there like tech stuff like that's it give me a look at that it's tech matt it's tech we got sent tech matt it's a tech deck all right there's a letter to go with it let's see what they want with this tech it's a triangle to my money to my dear michael hope you guys are liking the headphones this other gift is for the headphones if someone else would come on as a guest so glad that the fully actual podcast is out sorry you boys are the best legends the funniest in the whole wide world keep up the good work make your paws raw is happy with a smile in their races from hailey thank you thank you hailey and now look now it's a ball skull so now look hailey hailey's want to send us headphones a while back so that's remember how we always have one headphones that's i don't know there's been like difficulties sort of that all right but hailey this will now go up on the castle that with the castle tremaine yes it'll join the castle tremaine can you put on the castle tremaine just around the a or something yeah that makes me happy ring around the a ring around the a wow that feels good i didn't eat too much chocolate so thank you lamb that's all you needed to eat all right thank you everyone and if you want to send us something on the p.o box please send it to p.o box 256 tagham 40 18 Queensland Australia okay we open it live on the podcast if you want to you got a business he wants to promote something send it you have a look at it and shit man give us some shit mad i'll eat it the brown will come down we brown lady just because i've made a couple of things it doesn't mean i'm gonna eat anything it doesn't mean that all right guys it's time we're feeling a bit rusty first episode it is good to be back it feels a bit disjoint is not a smooth cock it's flaccid cock with bend in it all the skins balled up at the base there's lots of bumps against the smooth knob of the podcast yes so bear with us while we find our bearings over the next few weeks yes yes everyone be quiet it's likey it's likey it's likey hey how you do can you hear me yeah hi man um we're just a quick one where do you remember that video we did um how we went like we hired a boat and we went out fucking fishing for the day yeah yeah we're doing that again next week are you and jacko free next wednesday or thursday um i'm not jacking okay we've got a bit of a new schedule now but i think i should okay sweet yeah because we're just we're gonna get like a bigger boat this time and we'll get a few other people and like we're gonna yeah we're gonna like actually get like a massive boat and um we'll bring heaps of weed and shit and just make it really weird yeah that'd be fun well who's gonna drive the boat well i think we're gonna hire someone or james i don't know if we hire one of the big ones we'll need a oh true actually me and jackson just get on our names and james can drive it oh yeah yeah all that because it's pretty easy to drive we're probably gonna do some fucking um bag and shit as well and let's just let's just get fucking flayla clayla schindler yeah okay the bag and weed all right we'll ask jacko which day suits and we'll fucking and we'll fucking um yeah we'll book something in well we might uh all right dude well guess what oh my god you thought you're gonna have fun but we're probably not gonna see you for about a month or because he's always teasing his fucking like he's a drug no no we are coming down but we're not doing drugs oh it all starts again another year of this shit oh man we got lied to so bad then bro you were like so excited he's pumped up fucking fist pumping and shit doing the fucking milk and shuffle and then we dropped the hammock there is no boat bro there is a boat but we're not doing drugs there's a boat but we're not doing drug we're gonna do like just a fun video we're not we're not seeing you for probably a month or two all right sorry to waste your time like you'll catch me soon see you next week we're fucking good that was very good ending we've nearly lost more fucking voice yelling at that canna I was full of hate then bro it was like fucking so angry just like just lash out at a fucking angry yeah I did feel a bit of energy go through me feels nice try that out if you were a friend just fucking lash out at him it definitely helped with the depression of sitting on this mat yeah let's call Greg Matt on a mat let's call Greg yeah okay same thing but on the Saturday fucking oh he's being so disrespectful yeah Greg hi you've reached Greg from matchpoint center hey dude sorry to bother we're just trying to book in a day of filming and we'd like you to be there if possible if you're free next Saturday give me a buzz back because we're gonna hire a boat and just go out like fishing and just doing stupid shit big dumb dump in the ocean i'm gonna take a fucking massive black shit in the ocean you fuck with i'm gonna fucking shit all over the fucking floor of the boat and roll your roll roll around any of your fucking cunt I wish we could see Greg's face but we could see Matt's on the ground oh god that's on the ground all right guys all right as you know we haven't done a prank call for a long long time oh wow fuck we're still in there yet yeah it's our final segment guys final segment of episode number one it's only been an hour and 15 so we've got heaps of cut too so it feels longer on this floor yeah we're not used to it we're not used to the podcast we've had eight week break oh 10 week break we don't know what we're doing anymore look like I will now call the brisbane city council because we i think they've accidentally sent us this thing i'm gonna call the brisbane city council and talk to them about some letter that they put in our fucking thing what's suburb is glenel again south brisbane man this fucking shirt doesn't fit around my fat all right here we go here you go good evening brisbane city council this is an how you going and um look uh more names down um of just come home like big day work right um check my box um taking something it's all letter here from brisbane city council right um and it says here right there's um some i've got some like amount payable down here it says $248.40 right and you're right thank you i don't know i literally don't know like what what none of this what's none of this is for it says here like listen to this like it's got description right says here description and it says underneath it uh advertising advertising right and then it's got them two dots advertising annual annual renewable approval fee like like what what even is that what even is that do you know can i ask you a question please yeah yeah go for it bro okay so do you run a business do you uh have a business that has an advertising sign mate no i do i do like cashies and that like i do um heaps cashies uh like for labors and builders and that couple of me mates i unlock a um puntin lock a betton uh thing and or do like i do like a bit of cash collecting for that and that yeah is the letter addressed to you uh it says here lock at the top it does not say more name it says it says i see church limited right so it doesn't even have more name on it do you know what i mean it's on the work is that is that you no i know i think it's limited no i'm down yeah okay if the letter doesn't if the letter isn't addressed to you then for the letter is it or hang on i've just seen here i've just seen on the front bit it says permit it says advertising divorce and now i don't i don't use any like signs and that like anywhere near or more more places of our work and that so like it must be a mistake do you know what i'm saying darin darin yeah yeah yeah what name is the letter addressed to please okay it says i see church limited like i don't even know what that means i don't even know that if that's not you then you need to feel the envelope back up oh and you need to write return to send it do you know what i think i've done i might have actually taken it i'm more accidentally taken the neighbor's bloody mail okay so even let me have a quick look at the front of the mailbox i think it's really not not for you yeah no oh shit i actually have i've taken it from number 14 okay i'm number 12 i'll bet it put it put it back in the envelope put it in their letter box sarin put it back in oh oh shit i've just um or if you can't put it back in just the letter in the letter box mate i'll kind of panic and talk towards pieces hang on oh shit oh maybe i can sticky take that back together fuck yeah stick it back together um and put it in their letter box and and was it um well if i if i don't you can't say nothing don't tell no one about this and you promise me if you've opened to me and i can't i can't get done for this or i don't like i'm paroling that i can't get done for like mail sarin i don't i don't think it's an issue that you've accidentally opened someone's mail mate oh no no it's got two it's got a bill on it and that and i've just gone and snipped their blood in mail i've got a couple of other bills i've thrown in the bin i've thrown them in the bin already you've done it accidentally mate yeah yeah no just go and get some sticky tape like you know i've ripped it into i've ripped it into about 15 pieces it's hard okay well if you if you can't do that if they if they don't receive their if they don't receive their notice then they'll contact council darin right okay so i don't need to look so you and me right we take this to the grave with us if you i'm not gonna take it to the grave and before you go i need you to tell me like i will die for you right if you stay law to me and i'll do anything you want i've got your back till the day i die i promise it i'm darin thompson i'm darin thompson and i swear it underneath the southern cross and other over and and zaks think about what them and zaks done right that's me i've got that course and through me so if you if you keep this a secret i promise you darlin you will never ever need to worry about nothing again right i'll walk your dog you go darin i don't i i do have a dog but if you've accidentally opened someone's mail i don't think you need to panic and i've ripped it into about 20 pieces don't end like you don't understand i panicked and i ripped it up i shredded and half of it out on the front door if the neighbors come out right now they'll see me or buddy shaking shaking like a bloody leaf with their bloody bills or bloody ripped ripped up in front of me you know bloody icy church my neighbor just just pick it up mate and put it in the bin put it in the bin that's all you gotta do all you gotta do they'll they will um they'll realize that they haven't received their their bill um and you know they can um they can let us know but what what address was it actually delivered to uh 14 glenel straight or something right and i'm like 12 i'm like the one next door to it what's up are we talking about south brissey south brisbon and can you tell me the name that was on the letter again or what was it again it was like something weird i think it was like um i i see church or some some shit like that but don't remember don't say anything about me and don't write it down or nothing it's all you know i never spoke all right in i've got you and i've got your back to the day i die i promise on my heart and blood you are causing my blood right now you are my spirit you're my spirit you darin you won't get in trouble for this mate you don't know that it's a simple mistake it's as simple as that and we have to be careful man we have to be careful you cannot tell anyone this all right in i'm i'm just gonna put your mind to these darin you don't have to worry mate okay just pick it up just pick it up put it in the bin maybe next time just make sure you look at the name in in case it's not for you okay yeah no i gotta check the numbers from now on do you know what i mean in but look okay you promise me you promise me you got my back right like i haven't got your details darin so i can't say that you've opened it okay but you promise me right if this if push comes to shove right you got more but if we get back into a corner i'll need to know that we've got the same story right so if the cops do come calling you what are we gonna say what are you gonna say because i'll say same thing because they're gonna cross check i know right i know they're gonna cross they're gonna take you in a room they're gonna take you in a room and ask you all sorts of questions right darin this conversation is going a little bit scary there is no reason for the police to contact me regarding someone else not receiving a letter and i've been throwing their mail in the bin for six months all right i've only just realized i've only just realized i've been taking their mail and and ripping it up and throwing okay well now you know darin you won't do that anymore so that's no way no way and i won't do this no more i'll promise you all right and as soon as this lease ends i'm out of here all right i'm gone okay going north busy or something i wish you all the best darin and i'll love you all right i love you with all my heart okay i've got you i love you so much and say it back please say about darin darin i've got to go now man tell me love me and i love you and okay i'll walk your dog what do you want darin it's been lovely to speak to you it really really has been i love you son i don't want it i don't want you to stress but i need to go now so i can help other people okay all right no that makes sense all right you remind me a more mother very very helpful loving lady all right you take care darin good night you are my brother in blood and i love you to the day i die and goodbye goodbye goodbye to the day i die she was like the best girl ever she was the most that is someone that you want as your mom that's a girl oh and we just spoke to a girl we spoke to a girl man imagine when greg listens to his voice that was so good that was so cringe i realized i need a book to write things down because like oh it started to voice it to you when the flaklans and the plank all right guys that is the end thank you darin thank you episode number one don't forget to subscribe like comment and give five star review on spotify we'd love you all we're we're not quite the best this week all right we understand it's where it's always a bit rickety on a we're a bit fucking like a bumpy cock yeah but we're still fucking awesome yeah we're not quite the best but we're i reckon two three weeks tops we're back at the top don't go anywhere cunt this season's got so much shit going on i'm a fucking cunt i'm on the floor