 And so what we have here, and when we begin by just taking verses 21 and 22, and using that as our introduction, what we have here is a continuation of what we've seen in the verses prior to this. In verse 18, Jesus had said, I do not speak concerning all of you, I know whom I have chosen, but that the Scripture may be fulfilled, he who eats bread with me, has lifted up his heel against me. Well, Jesus has indicated that one of his apostles would betray him, and that betrayer would be one of his closest followers. So as he said this, John made a very clear observation. John made it clear that according to verse 21, Jesus was, notice the word, troubled. He was troubled in his spirit. Now, the Gospel writers record various occasions where Jesus showed agitation, troubled spirit in this way. Recently in John 1133, we had seen that Jesus had a troubled spirit when his friend Lazarus had died, because John 1133 says, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, he groaned in the spirit and was troubled. We also see that he was troubled when it became obvious that his hour had come to be glorified in his crucifixion, because in chapter 12, verse 27, he had said, now my soul is troubled, what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour, but for this purpose I came to this hour. So he was troubled when his hour had come. And third, he was troubled when he was in Gethsemane, which we'll see later, but he was in Gethsemane just before he was taken in, and he was sorrowful and troubled. Matthew 2638, he said to them, my soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death, stay here and watch with me. He was especially grieved over people's hardness, which led them to rejecting him. Mark made that clear in chapter 3, verse 5, when he writes, he looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts. And he said to the man, stretch out your hand, he stretched it out, and his hand was restored, his whole is the other. So he would be grieved over various things, including the hardness of heart that led people to reject him. And so here, Jesus is troubled, because the disciples do not see how serious the situation is. You know, it is very frustrating to try to share something clearly that really matters, only to have people miss the whole point. That's very true. I had somebody writing on Facebook, must be an old person. I had somebody writing on Facebook and referred to me as arrogant and uncaring, because I actually had a Bible. I had Bible studies, and he claims to care for the community, but in fact he doesn't because of his arrogance. He doesn't understand. People are that way. Many people are. They don't understand. And so the disciples miss the point, and very often as we read our scriptures, they very often do. Remember on one occasion, Jesus warned them to avoid the leaven of the Pharisees and the Sadducees. He says it, and says, you need to be aware of the doctrine. Well, you need to be watchful of the Pharisees and the Sadducees. He says that, and their response was, it's got to be because we have no bread. And so he looks at him, and he reminds him about the 5,000 that he had fed. And then he speaks concerning the 4,000 he had recently fed and all. And then in Matthew 16, 11, and 12, he goes on to say to them, how is it you do not understand that I did not speak to you concerning Fred, but to be aware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the Sadducees. Then they understood that he did not tell them to be aware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and Sadducees. See, very often upon first reading or first hearing, we may very well misunderstand the point. We just don't hear the heart. We don't understand what's being said. After his transfiguration, as is recorded in Mark chapter 9, as well as Matthew chapter 17, he told his disciples not to speak of what they saw until he was resurrected. Do you remember in Mark chapter 9 verse 10 how it says they kept this word to themselves? Questioning what the rising from the dead meant. When he told his disciples he would be betrayed and crucified and resurrected and all of that. They simply did not get it. In Mark 9, 31 and 32, he taught his disciples, said to them, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of men. They'll kill him. And after he's killed, he'll rise on the third day, but they did not understand this saying, and they were afraid to ask him. Again, recently Jesus had been called to minister to a friend named Lazarus. He was close to death. And when he was told, remember how Jesus responded and said, our friend Lazarus, sleep when I go that I may wake him up. In John 11, we saw this in verses 12-14, his disciples said, Lord, if he's asleep, he'll get well. And Jesus said, you guys are meatheads. No, that's not what I'm saying. He said, it says, however, Jesus spoke of his death. But they thought he was speaking about taking rest in sleep. And that's why Jesus had to say to them plainly, Lazarus is dead. So remember this, spiritual truth is not always grasped the moment it's revealed. It's not always gotten hold of when it's first given to us. We saw that in John 13, in verse 7, where Jesus said, when I'm doing, you do not understand now, but you will know after this. Now, the after could include the fact that he's about to explain what he's about to do, but also these things were made plain to him after his resurrection, to them after his resurrection, after he sends the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit who brings to their remembrance the things Jesus did and the things that he said. We'll be seeing that in chapter 14. Now, as we've gone through this chapter, just to remind you, Jesus taught them something about humble service. And they were watching him. And remember this, Jesus had girded himself, took a base in a towel, knelt down, began to wash the feet of the disciples. We just looked at that last hour together. I want to remind you something, as he washed the feet of the disciples, he washed all of their feet, including Judas, including Judas. So he served every one of them. And that was intended to communicate and to emphasize when a minister really is one who serves. In Matthew chapter 10, verses 24 and 25, we read, a disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It's enough for a disciple that he'd be like his teacher, a servant like his master. You see, the Jews during the day of Christ had a mentoring system that the rabbi would mentor his disciples. And when the rabbi was convinced that the disciple was ready to go out and make his own disciples, it was when his mentor, the one who was mentoring, it was when he had learned all the things that the mentor had with the rabbi had for him to know and had begun to speak the words the way he spoke them and to minister the way he ministered, to pray the way he prayed, what he became as his master. And that's why Jesus said it's enough that a disciple become as his master. Jesus was actually speaking concerning the methodology of producing disciples of his day. They all understood what that meant because the rabbi would bring his students so that his student was like the master. And so if we're going to be like our master, Jesus models to us what that is and that's what he's doing. He's washing their feet. So the modeling of this lesson was lost on one of them. It was lost on Judas. Judas wasn't interested in this way of life because you cannot serve two masters. And he had one master passion and we know what that master passion was. It was his money. It was his money. And you remember how upset he got because that he considered the worship of the Lord with that costly ointment. He considered that a waste because he had computed with that little calculator in his in his head how much he could have made on that 300 Denari 300 days wages. He had a master passion and you can't serve two masters. In Ecclesiastes chapter five verse 10 it says he who loves silver will not be satisfied with silver nor he who loves abundance with increase. This is this also is vanity. So Judas had no love for Jesus and because his heart did not have room for him. He was in love with the things that money could buy and he was willing to sell Jesus. Remember in Luke 12 15 how Jesus said take heed and beware of covetousness for once life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses. Keep that in mind. And we as believers I do not want to be the one who makes judgment on other people. I do make observations. I do see things clearly and I do make points of references. I relate these things to you but I also watch and I say to myself you know when you see videos that go. You know online with women fighting over items in a supermarket you know but that's not the only time human beings fight over things you know those sales after Thanksgiving. You see brawls you know so somebody can buy something at a less expensive cost for Christmas and that I've always kind of tripped me out. We're going to beat you up so I can give my kid a Christmas gift it never has made sense to me but they do that anyway right. So we see what human nature is and listen if we continually teach people that you're number one what do you think is going to happen in a time of struggle and trouble. We haven't taught in our school system we haven't taught the golden rule. We haven't we used to even people like myself grew up with that being practiced. You know did you bring enough candy for everybody. What was that all about sharing. It's not just for you was the lesson they were teaching us. Not that I had to go on by a bag of candy but that I should think of other people and if I'm there eating candy and my person next to me doesn't have any is that a right thing. They were trying to teach us to be kind that's what they were trying to do but people get all uptight. Oh no we're number one. We're number one. Take care of yourself. Make sure you're OK. Well we're seeing that right now aren't we. We're seeing that right now aren't we. When people are fighting for water you know like I told you I have a magic a magic faucet in my house I twist it and water comes up it trips me out. I turned it out. Wow look at this. Or I can go out and pay a dollar for you know the you know Evian Evian water. Have you ever turned the words the letters around Evian turned around is naive. Anyway and we are. So Jesus was aware that one of those he had chosen would betray him. How did that affect him. Verse 21 tells us he was agitated. He had sorrow over Judas's betrayal. Can you imagine how deeply such a betrayal would impact you. It reminds me of the Psalmist and Psalm 55 verses 12 to 14. This is a heartbreaking Psalm where the Psalmist says it's not an enemy who reproaches me I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me. Then I could hide from him. But it was you. A man my equal. My companion. My acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together. We walked to the house of God in the throne. It wasn't some enemy. It was you. You and I were brothers. We prayed together. Read the word of God together served God together. We walked together to church. It was an enemy. Well I can handle that. If somebody was making it clear he hates me. Well you know join the crowd. But it was you. And there you have Judas. One of the men who was part of the apostolic group. And none of them would suspect. Who was selling Jesus out. And he had said it. He testified and he said most assuredly I say to you. One of you will betray me. Now he had said that earlier. They didn't hear. In John chapter 6 verses 70 and 71. Did I not choose you the 12 and one of you is a devil. One of you is an adversarial devil. He spoke of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon. For it was he who would betray him being one of the 12. Well so he makes this statement. One of you will betray me verse 22. The disciples looked at one another perplexed about whom he spoke. It took him by surprise. It's unthinkable. How could one of us do something like that. Now imagine what Judas is feeling as he's unmasked. His treachery is known. When Jesus said this the reaction was immediate. Matthew records in chapter 26 verse 22 they were exceedingly sorrowful. And each of them began to say to him Lord. Is that I have I have I done something. Even unwittingly that has endangered you. And Jews Judas also responds according to Matthew 26 25 Judas. Who was betraying him answered and said Rabbi is that I. He said to him you've said. You have condemned yourself. So Judas sin was open before God even though he successfully hit it. From others have you ever have. Have you ever had an experience of having a Judas in your life. Many of us have not all but many have I. Absolutely I have absolutely absolutely. Does it hurt. Like very few things can hurt. Because you trust these people. I used to say this and I'll say it again because I've yet to really come to a satisfactory answer for myself. But I used to say this I used to ask my leadership do you think Judas knew he was Judas. I leave that with you I don't have an answer for that. Do you think Judas knew he was Judas. You know there are many forms of deception but the most dangerous is self deception. Could Judas have known he was the Judas. That's a question that I ponder because I truly believe that there are some people who do things that they think are. Within the will of the Lord or the proper thing to do at that time make excuse for themselves in some way. To give them permission to continue to do the things that they probably ought not to do. But because they may think they have a higher cause or actually think of themselves deeper and better than they really are. Perhaps they are self deceiving. Well one of the things I know is this for sure. I know that I can hide my sin from man but I cannot hide my sin from the eyes of God. In Ecclesiastes 12 14 God will bring every work into judgment including every secret thing whether it is good or whether it is evil. In Psalm 90 verse 8 you have set our iniquities before you our secret sins in the light of your countenance. Hebrews 4 13 there is no creature hidden from his sight but all things are naked and open to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Now as this is taking place verse 23 there was leaning on Jesus's bosom one of his disciples whom Jesus loved. And Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask to ask who it was of whom he spoke leaning back on Jesus for us. He said to him Lord who is it Jesus answered your breath smells. No Jesus answered I'm sorry I came out of nowhere I didn't mean that. Jesus answered it is that's what I would think it is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it. Having dipped the bread he gave it to Judas Iscariot the son of Simon. A couple of things about this here verse 23 when it says there was leaning on Jesus's bosom one of his disciples. Notice how he describes himself whom Jesus loved whom Jesus loved. You see that as John's self designation he's identifying himself with that phrase whom Jesus loved. He actually uses this kind of description five times in his gospel. We'll see it again in chapter 19 verse 26 in chapter 20 verse 2 in chapter 21 verse 7 as well as chapter 21 verse 20. It's his self description that's how he said this is John. If there's anything that I can encourage you in today as believers in Christ. If you love if you if you love the Lord if you're a believer. It's not the amount of love you say you have for him. It's how much you understand his love for you. That really is very important in every human relationship. I believe for example it works when you're raising children. I did not raise my children to love me. I didn't raise them with that some people do that I'm going to teach you to love me. They have a natural love for their father already they have a natural love. What I raise my children to do is to love their children. I wanted to teach them how to love others. You don't teach somebody or give love to somebody to get love back from them guys. They don't do that it's unhealthy because they will never love you enough. And they will disappoint you ultimately they will treat you differently than you raised them. No I raised my children to love their children and they do and they do. I was successful and I thank God for that. They love their children that's how I raised them. Not to love daddy not to love mama for that matter but to love their children. That's what we raise them to do. And here's something else for you may not apply to you now. But I learned it when I was dating my girl who became my wife. And that was simply I can't force her to love me. I never could. I wanted a voluntary love. I didn't want her to feel pressured by me in any way that she had to love me. And I didn't. And I've shared this with you before. Some of you are going to say I've heard that before. Okay you came to go ignore me for a minute. The others haven't heard it. But I've said it before and I think of it as I make this because this point is important here. And I'm going to develop it in a spiritual way in a moment. Marie and I were dating. We were young. I didn't have control over her. I never have I never you canter you or whatever you know men. Now I'm not that way. I'm just not that way. You know if you love me, love me. If you don't, that's fine too. And I said that to her when we're dating. I said I had Jesus before you and I'll have Jesus after you. He never stops loving me. And if you choose to that's between you and God. I just don't have that hang up. That's not me. I don't. I just don't. And so we're driving as we're driving together on a date. We had just started dating. We'd been dating maybe a couple months or so. We're driving on the five freeway. We're going by Disneyland. We're going, you know, on the five into Anaheim from Norwalk or the Norwalk area. And she points to this dance place. Marie used to like to dance. She married Mr. to left feet. She liked, she liked to dance. So we're driving by and she says, Oh, I was there last night at this dance place. And we're just starting to date. I had no ownership of her. I said, Oh, really? She goes, Yeah. I said, Oh. And she goes, Yeah, some marine asked me for my phone number. I said, Really? She goes, Yeah. Anybody. I get some Marines in here. Army does not like Marines. We need you. We don't like you. But anyway. So I go, Really? She goes, Yeah, some Marie asked, Marie said, Some marine asked me for my phone number. I said, Really? She goes, Yeah. Did you give it to him? Oh, no. Now I'm puzzled. Why not? I told him I have a boyfriend. I looked at her like, You've got a boyfriend? I really did. I see you blew my mind. I'm thinking, Why am I taking you out? You got a boyfriend? I'm serious. I'm not kidding. You got a boyfriend? She goes, Yeah. I said, Really? Who? She looks at me and she says, You? I said, I'm not your boyfriend. She goes, What? I said, I'm not your boyfriend. She goes, What do you mean by that? I said, If I were your boyfriend, I would not have been there last night dancing. She never went out again to dance. Did I tell you not to dance? No. I said, You got your choices, right? Make your mind up. She made it up. She made it a right choice. She went, Army. That's a principle in love, guys. If you try to make somebody love you, give up. But you ought to be so lovable that they choose you. There's a lot more reward in that, I promise you. A lot more reward in being loved just because they chose to love you. God could have made people into robots, but he gave us opportunities and abilities to make a choice not to. But the love that we have for God is voluntarily. Why? Because he loved me first. And when you finally, and when I finally grab hold of that, I love him because he first loved me. Your life changes. But when you say, But God, I did this and I did this for you. And I gave up this for you. And how come you've been there? Done that. Been there? Done that. You, how come you knew? And I had to learn that lesson myself until I finally came to realize his love for me, it's greater than any love I've ever had for him. It's greater than any love I've ever had for him. So John knew that. I'm the one whom Jesus loved. And he used to bother me when I was young reading that. I thought, What an arrogant statement to make. Nobody else says that, but he didn't even give his name. He just says, I'm the one Jesus loved. You almost hear it kind of like na na na na na. I don't like that. You know, it bothers me. Until I came to realize that there was a security in knowing how much God loves him. Because when Peter was out there bragging about how much he loved Jesus, and you'll see this, how he said, I'll even die for you. It was the apostle Peter who denied Jesus three times. He had been boasting how much he loved him. And in fact, John never does. John just says, I'm the one he loves. And Peter said, I love you so much. I'll die for you even though they all forsake you. I never will. Yet he first took him and fled. But John who knew that Jesus loved him is found at the foot of the cross there. He's found at the foot of the cross. Because the love that Christ had for him drew him even to the foot of the cross to be their nearest master. That's the difference, guys. It's not how much I say I love him. It's how much he loved me. You see, a minister's mission, a believer's mission is to reveal God's love for people. Because God's love sits people free. And God's love motivates us to serve not only our Father but other people. In John 15, verse 9, the Father loved me, Jesus said. I also have loved you, a bind in my love. In 2 Corinthians 5, 14, the love of Christ compels us because we judge thus that if one died for us, then all died. Another reclining, if you had a picture in your mind, just picture a U-shaped table and the reclining on, as you're looking at it, on the left side. The table's out like this. They're reclining on the left side of the table. It was large enough for them to have 13 people seated there. So when you're facing that table, the place of honor would have been on the left, on the left arm. So they're resting on the left side and they use their right hand to reach and to get the food. They're all on pillows. Now the host, when you're looking at the lineup of 13 people, the host would recline on the second spot. John was resting on Jesus's right on the first pillow, which enables him to lean over to Jesus and speak to him. Judas would have been on what is called the third pillow. He would have been on the seat of honor. That's where Judas is next to Jesus. Peter is more than likely directly across from John, which would have been in the lower seat. So Peter is trying to show... I'm sorry, but as I look at this, he's sitting all the way over here on the lower seat, which is directly across from John and that's how Peter speaks to him. Peter, therefore, motions. He actually motions like that and he's giving him a signal. You know, who's he talking about? That's what Peter does. You can't help but love that man. He is such a meathead. He really seems to be to me. So he's directly across from him and he may have remembered what Jesus said in Luke 14, 10 and 11, when you're invited, go and sit down in the lowest place so that when he who invited you comes, he may say, friend, go up higher. Then you're going to have glory in the presence of those who sit at the table with you. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled. He who humbles himself will be exalted. It's very possible that he's there in the lower seat kind of wondering, when are you going to exalt me? And he never did. He just left. You want to sit there? All right, sit there. So he motions. He gives him a signal. And so in verse 25, John says, Lord, who is it? So he whispers this question. Well, in verse 26, Jesus says, it is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I've dipped it. Having dipped the bread, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. This is his final gesture of love for Judas, even though Judas is a traitor. It's a special mark in dipping the host, dipping the bread and serving somebody. It's a special mark of honor. It's a mark of love. It's a mark of friendship. It's his final gesture to Judas. Isaiah 65 verse 2, I have stretched out my hands all day long to a rebellious people who walk in a way that is not good according to their own thoughts. And so, verse 27, after the piece of bread, Satan entered him and Jesus said to him, what you do, do quickly. No one at the table knew for what reason he said this to him. Some thought because Judas had the money box, Jesus had said to him, buy those things we need for the feast. Or that he should give something to the poor. Having received the piece of bread, he then went out immediately. And it was nine. Satan entered him. Satan entered and inspired his actions. Judas' heart was completely turned away from Jesus. He yielded to the influence of Satan completely. With no desire for freedom, he was left to destruction. And Jesus tells him, complete your business and do it quickly. Now this was a final opportunity to reject his plans, but he didn't. He rejected that opportunity and he followed through with it. Now, no one at the table, according to verses 28 and 29, know why he gets up. They think he's got a task to fulfill. So that reveals how perfectly Judas played the Christian. There's a scripture you might want to note. First Timothy 5, 24, where it says some men since are clearly evident, preceding them to judgment. But those of some men follow later. Some men since are very open. Others are hidden. They're hidden. You don't know they're as rotten as they are because they have this outer appearance of righteousness. Judas had that hidden sin feature. And so, as he's saying this, it says in verse 30 that he went out. He did it immediately and it was night. He cut himself off from the light and he walked into the darkness. It was night. It's more than simply being the evening. There is a picture here of the darkness of his soul. Jesus said the lamp of the body is in the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness? No one can serve two masters. For either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he'll be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God in mammon. You cannot serve God in the world simultaneously. You have to make a choice. If there's any kind of example that we find in this last live Bible study that we're having together for some time, there's any example that we have here. It's the example of somebody who was willing to walk in darkness because he loved the darkness because his deeds were evil. May we take the time to look at our own hearts. Does this see to betrayal within me? Am I capable of becoming disillusioned with the chastisement of the Lord to the degree that I'm willing to not only forsake him, but to betray him in some way. There are pastors who were well known when their sin was found out, became great antagonists towards the Lord, preaching messages about him as atheists. Are you capable of pretending and wearing the mask of being a believer when in fact you've fooled everybody except for the one who cannot be fooled? I really think it's important for me to be very aware of my walk with God to make sure that I'm sincere in my faith. And I pray that all of us do that. You know, I pray that all of us, because one day guys, you will stand, you may not believe this, some don't, but one day you will stand before the throne of God. You will have the one whose eyes are a flame of fire looking at you, and your heart will be known in red. And all that you have ever done, if your sins haven't been forgiven, if they haven't been washed and cleansed by the little lamb, are in a ledger, every one of them. And they will be the accusers of you. You will not be able to say you didn't do those things. You will remember them. You will remember what you did, because it's all written. And if you stand up and start to plead your cause and say, I did, it's right here, right here, right here. No, you did. You hated your mother, you said it. You said it February 12, 1987, at 10.31 a.m. It's all there. Believe it or not, believe it or not. It is. And you will give an account of yourself to God. Or you can stand before Him, and the books are open, your name is there, and the ledger is white as snow, because the blood of Jesus Christ has cleansed you from all sin. And it's an open book with no charges against you. And then you hear, welcome, come on in to Heaven. It's been prepared for you. So I made up my mind a long time ago. I want my sins to be washed. And I want to walk in with a clean slate because of what Jesus did. Judas didn't do that, but we can. And we can have a relationship with Jesus.