 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. This episode is brought to you by the audiobook Theodore the Great, Conservative Crusader by Daniel Ruddy, narrated by Darren Marlar. Here's a free sample on the audiobooks page at MarlarHouse.com. Back in 2004, Mary Grahams was pulling weeds on her family farm in Alberta, Canada and somehow lost her engagement ring in the process. All these years later, the ring is turned up, incredibly, with a carrot growing through the middle of it. It seems her daughter-in-law plucked the lucky carrot from the ground and her son immediately recognized it as his mom's lost ring. 84-year-old Mary said, I'm going to wear it because it still fits. Sadly, her husband died five years ago. He gave her the ring in 1951. Amazing. The woman loses her diamond ring when it's found 13 years later and has another carrot added to it. Selena Gomez recently tweeted that she can hardly wait for people to forget about me. Well, one idea might be to stop tweeting that you owe people forget about you. It just reminds them that you're there. A brawl broke out at a Dayton, Ohio funeral home during the viewing. According to a police report, a woman arrived at the viewing claiming to be the current girlfriend of the deceased man. However, the wife asked the woman to be removed from the viewing. An altercation ensued between the two women. A family member attending the viewing pepper sprayed the women and the fight broke up. It was so unexpected and exciting that the grandkids in the back row stood up and started yelling, Encore! A company claims it's selling a drone that can walk dogs. If you're to that point, perhaps as best you just not get a dog. There's quite a bizarre mystery going on at the Avon Lake, Ohio Public Library. The staff have been scratching their heads trying to figure out who has scattered 30 empty A1 Steaksauce bottles around the place over the past two months, with no clues offered from surveillance tapes. Most of the bottles have turned up in the adult fiction and non-fiction sections. The library is stumped. They've pretty much ruled out prankster kids as the bottles appear to be left during school hours. A library manager wonders if this is some kind of fourth-dimensional chess match asking, Is it a game that we don't know how to play? I think you're half right. You don't know how to play it. And you are the pawns. Hillary Clinton is set to release her book What Happened next month that explains her loss in the 2016 election. It's said to be a quick read, with just one page saying, I was a terrible candidate. Police are investigating after a woman assaulted her mother with a cheeseburger at a McDonald's. Indianapolis Metropolitan Police were called after the two women got in a fight because the mom told her daughter she could no longer stay at her home. Reportedly, the mom drove her daughter to someone else's house, but on the way, the daughter changed her mind about where she wanted to go. The 60-year-old mother told officers her daughter, 39, started yelling at her, so she stopped at McDonald's. According to the police report, the victim stated her daughter yelled, Be word, I ought to kill you, and hit her in the left side of her face with her hand and the cheeseburger. The mom told police she had pain on the left side of her face, which was red and swollen. The daughter got into another driver's vehicle and fled the scene. Great idea, daughter. These kinds of actions are exactly what a mom wants to see, so she'll invite you to stay at her house after all. Well played. Airbnb is reportedly permanently banning white supremacists from making reservations on the site. How do they plan on doing that? How do you know if somebody is a white supremacist just by their name? Unless their name is Whitey McBlackhater, how do you know? Fair warning, ladies in the Los Angeles area, don't date Paul Gonzalez. Seems the 44-year-old meets women online and invites them out to dinner. Nothing wrong with that, but then after the big meal has been consumed, Paul suddenly vanishes. One of his victims described how he had eaten $100 worth of food at a restaurant, explaining he had to order two entrees because he's a bodybuilder, before saying he was going to the bathroom. She never saw him again. Meanwhile, a woman identified as only Beth says she met Dave Gonzalez on Bumble before agreeing to dinner at a restaurant. Gonzalez ordered a glass of Pinot, a Caesar salad with a side of shrimp, a steak and a baked potato, and a most of the meal before excusing himself to take a phone call. He never returned. A text went unanswered and his Bumble profile was later removed. According to police, Gonzalez has also walked out of a salon, still clad in a smock, without paying for a haircut in color. If I were the police, once I arrest the guy, I'd make sure to have someone watching at all times when he asks for a little privacy to make his one phone call to a lawyer. A Florida man who accidentally fired a gun in a strip club restroom while trying to take a selfie has been sent to prison. Somebody obviously does not understand how selfies work. A California man was arrested for posing as a dentist while cooking meth in his office. The red flag for police was when the man's patience kept coming out with worse teeth than when they went in, yet kept coming back for more. Taco Bell has announced that it will soon launch the naked egg taco, a breakfast taco that uses a fried egg as its shell. I'm not joking. A study says millennials are more willing than others to marry someone in debt. Well, if you're wanting to marry someone college-educated, it's pretty safe to believe they're in debt. According to new polls, six out of ten voters in Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin say they feel embarrassed by Donald Trump's conduct as president. But then the same ratio is excited about voting for Kid Rock to be their governor of the state, so consider that for what it's worth. Being a pilot for a commercial airline certainly has its perks. Travel to exotic places, a cool uniform, and those breathtaking views of the sky. But the job can also come with a side of something much more sobering, depression. A new report says that nearly 13% of commercial airline pilots may be clinically depressed. So the next time you're boarding and your pilot asks, how are you today? Perhaps the more important question would be, no, how are you today? Apparently 41% of men cry after watching in-flight movies. According to a new survey by Virgin Atlantic, that's the case for four out of 10 men after they watch an in-flight movie. Scientists have confirmed that people in general do become more emotional while flying. One academic paper from George Mason University hypothesizes that an airplane cabin might be the perfect emotional landscape for tears. Bright lights, the fact that you're oftentimes rubbing shoulders with a total stranger next to you, and a deep connection with a movie showing up on a very small screen with ultra-personal audio. So now flying is emasculating men. Is there anything feminists won't destroy? A new survey finds that the Cheesecake Factory features America's unhealthiest restaurant food. Well, yeah, it's right there in the name. Cheesecake Factory. Americans are dying these days with an average of $62,000 in debt. So that $62,000 they don't have to pay back? Win! In a related story, a survey says one in 10 Americans say they will die in debt, while others currently living in debt are praying for death's sweet release. North Korea is warning there could be a nuclear war if U.S. military drills turn to actual fighting. Look at North Korea trying to get our attention after we just plain forgot about them for the past week and a half. Scientists say Walruses have returned early this year to America due to shrinking Arctic ice. Although I personally think they arrived early because they wanted to catch the solar eclipse too. President Trump was getting some grief online this week for tweeting the word heal spelled with two E's when he should have typed heal H-E-A-L. As in, with any luck, our nation will eventually heal following my presidency. Benjamin David was fed up with the stress of commuting on busy city roads. So he now packs his laptop, suit and shoes into a waterproof bag, straps it to his back and swims two kilometers to work along the Isar River in Munich, Germany. Depending on the season, he wears swimming trunks or a long wetsuit, as well as rubber sandals to protect his feet from glass or the occasional bicycle laying in the river. His commute sometimes invites laughs from bystanders on the bridges above, but he says it's faster and more relaxing than sitting in traffic. Although I still do not understand why this guy doesn't just buy a canoe. The website OKCupid has a zero-tolerance policy for white supremacists and just kicked one off its site permanently. A profile belonging to white nationalist leader Christopher Cantwell most recently featured in a Vice News documentary about the violence in Charlottesville last weekend was discovered on the dating site. After OKCupid's support team was alerted, it immediately banned him. Hey, maybe he could get on at OK Stupid. A landlord entering a vacated apartment in Sweden found himself confronted with the strong smell of urine, horse excrement and hay. It was later learned that a man evicted for a failure to pay rent on his ground floor apartment had been living with a pony. Well, you know what, the lease said no cats or dogs. It didn't say anything about horses. They say a lot of college graduates these days are really bad riders. Well, they probably should have gone to a gooder college. Would your teen voluntarily wear old school mom jeans and a baggy dad shirt on the first day of school? Don't rule it out just yet. These days, it's all about the retweets. The new trend on Twitter is having students leave their first day outfits in the hands of friends and even strangers. They're finding the wackiest things they'd be willing to wear, then posting it on the social networking site saying that they would wear it if they get a certain amount of retweets. In my day, that would have been taped-up glasses and high-water pants with suspenders. Not sure any amount of retweeting would have gotten me into that get-up. Study says wine tastes better to people when they think it's more expensive. That's why I only buy the boxes with the really nice pictures on them. Adoption of voice assistants, such as Amazon Echo and Google Home, more than doubled from 2015 to 2016. A new report shows 56% of U.S. broadband households find it appealing to use voice assistants to control smart home devices, but they still won't get you a drink from the fridge, so they're pretty useless. The newest government report questions the value of financing the military's various musical bands. And let's face it, they haven't had a hit in years. Terrence Nafies of New Jersey got the ride of his life after paying the $1.50 toll to cross the Middle Thorough Fair Bridge with his wife, daughter and daughter's friend in his Toyota RAV4. As he was crossing the steel grate, it began to rise three to six feet because a vessel was trying to cross. Nafies told reporters my wife said, I think the bridge is opening. With terrified of dropping 65 feet into the water, he simply gunned the engine and was able to make it to the other side James Bond style, but with a big impact. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, but Nafies estimates that his SUV suffered about $10,000 in damages. Authorities said the operator of the bridge was to blame for the scare. That operator blamed Sunglair. And now that we've just had that solar eclipse, how much you want to bet every single car accident in Midwest America is going to be blamed on that. In Florida, a state trooper tried to stop a car about a window tint violation. As the trooper followed, the driver tossed something from the window, which lodged in the trooper's car grille. When backup arrived, they were able to stop the car. That's when they discovered the thing that got stuck in the trooper's grille was a bag of marijuana. When they frisked the driver of the car, they found another bag of marijuana, staking out of his rear end. Also, an open beer was in the center console. Yet the only way this could have been worse is if the guy was also not wearing a seat belt. What? Oh! Really? Seriously? Okay, it turns out he wasn't wearing a seat belt, either. Forget about hallucinations if you want to start seeing and hearing things. Just drink lots of coffee. Researchers studied 200 students and found that those who drank 7 cups of coffee a day were three times more likely to see ghosts, things that were not there, also hear voices than those who just had one cup of coffee. The scientists at England's University of Durham believe the caffeine in coffee triggers the release of the hormone cortisol, which is also released by stress and that may lead to hallucinations. But study head Simon James also noted that stressed people may simply drink more coffee and that could cause them to see people and things that are not there. The scientists noted that caffeine is also present in tea, energy drinks and chocolate. So, dear Maxwell House, I see dead people. Bonnie Tyler's mega-hit from the 80s, Total Eclipse of the Heart, went to number one Monday on iTunes. But now she's back down to number 6837. Sorry, Bonnie. A survey says one in four people believe robots would make better politicians than people. Who did you vote for? I voted for the Trump Bot 3000. The US Secret Service is reportedly going broke protecting the Trumps. The agency can no longer pay the hundreds of agents it needs to carry out the expanded protective mission, in large part due to the sheer size of President Trump's family and efforts necessary to secure their multiple residences up and down the East Coast. What about Eric and Tiffany? I think a couple of mall cops would probably be fine for those two. A government employee in China has resigned after it was revealed that for the past two years, he was pulling paychecks at another job while he was on paid sick leave. The former employee went on sick leave in June 2015, soon after he began working full-time as a manager at a restaurant. It truly is sad though, you don't see how much the West has corrupted the Chinese people. Game of Thrones fans are complaining that the latest episode pushed the boundaries of believability. Really? Isn't this the same show that has dragons? Down in Arkansas, while going through a bag of donated clothing, a blessed sacrament worker found something she was pretty sure was not supposed to be there. A loaded handgun. The weapon was discovered in a plastic sack of donated clothes according to the initial incident report. The silver and black 9mm handgun had 10 rounds in the magazine. Police checked to see if it had been stolen, but it had not. Officer John Shipman then attempted to call the woman who had dropped off the clothing but was unsuccessful, so the gun sits in the evidence room for now. Can you still call yourselves goodwill if you're taking in handguns? In New Hampshire, 61-year-old Leslie Kahn found herself trapped in her own swimming pool after the ladder broke, so she turned to the loving arms of Facebook for the rescue. She told reporters, I had one foot on the ladder and when I put my other foot on it, it went down and I cracked my knee. She didn't have the upper body strength to pull herself out, nobody else was home, and her phone was inside. With few other options, Kahn used a pool pole to drag the chair her iPad was on toward her and posted in a community Facebook page asking for help. She said she labeled the post 9-1-1 to get people's attention. A woman who lived nearby showed up, followed by police and a neighbor. Her rescuers put a step ladder in the pool and Mrs. Kahn climbed right out with her sense of humor intact. She says people keep saying, I bet you can laugh about it now. I was laughing about it then, what else can you do? A judge in India has ruled a woman can divorce her husband because he refused to install a toilet in their home. The judge said that forced outdoor defecation is a form of torture and that the woman who is in her 20s has a right to a toilet. The judge noted that women in Indian villages often wait until sunset to answer nature's call. This is not only a physical cruelty, but a violation of the modesty of a woman. It can also be dangerous after dark. Outdoor defecation in India is a major health threat that has prompted a government campaign to ensure an indoor toilet in every household by the year 2019. The woman's husband said an indoor toilet was not an issue when the couple married five years ago, but the woman's lawyer said he refused repeated demands, prompting her to file for divorce two years ago. It's like the guy enjoys his woman smelling of ode de toilette. The average adult now has 37 online accounts, but uses just five passwords to keep them secure, and one in four people use a single password for most of their accounts. Well, of course, because the password is easier if you only have one to remember. For example, I use password 123 for everything. That way, I won't forget it. And it's so simple nobody's going to ever guess it. Helena Montana has removed a memorial to Confederate soldiers. Meanwhile, Hannah Montana continues to go south unabated. 40% of couples save their most important conversations for the car, according to Sheila's Wheels, a British insurance company. Why? Well, there are fewer distractions. I get this, 20% of women have so little face-to-face contact with their partners that they primarily use text messages to communicate. Post-it notes are another favorite way for 10% of women to communicate with a husband with one in 14 using email. And on my bride and I, we'll email each other while we're both in the same house. And as for having important conversations in the car, so true. Personally, though, I don't think it's because the distractions are minimalized. I think it's because she knows that at 60 miles per hour, I can't jump out of the car if I don't like what she's saying. Many believe wealthy people are liars and cheaters, and now scientists have proof that it's true. In a bizarre study, researchers concluded that rich folks are more likely to lie, cheat, steal and break rules than poorer people. Even worse, like Michael Douglas' cheating Wall Street stockbroker Gordon Gekko, rich folks think greed is good. We found that it's much more prevalent for people in the higher ranks of society to see greed and self-interest as good pursuits, says Paul Piff, the head of the study conducted by the University of California at Berkeley. In one of the study's tests, researchers found that richer folks were more likely to cheat at an online game to win $50. In another, fat cats driving luxury cars were more likely to cut off motorists at a four-way intersection than drivers of cheaper vehicles. One thing scientists did not find out was, do people become wealthy because they break the rules? Or does having wealth make you lie and cheat? Says Piff, it seems like a vicious cycle. Personally, I think I would be the exception to this rule. In fact, if you want to give me a non-refundable $10 million, I would be happy to prove it. Mark Wahlberg soared to the top of the world's highest-paid actors on an annual Forbes magazine poll. Wahlberg 46 earned an estimated $68 million in 2017 thanks to his paydays for movies Daddy's Home 2 and Transformers The Last Night. Wow! Imagine what he might have made if he'd actually been able to land good movies. Tiffany Trump's recent Roman holiday included a stay on a friend's yacht and over $100,000 in car rental costs. Over $100,000 in car rentals? How does somebody do that when they're staying on a boat? When NASA launched Voyager 1 and Voyager 2 deep into space 40 years ago, each spacecraft brought along a golden record with sights and sounds from Earth, just in case any aliens were to stumble across it. Well, now that record is being recreated in a box set for humans on Earth. And after seeing the list of songs chosen for those records, it is completely understandable why aliens have decided not to visit us. A British study claims that cats prefer spending time with humans over eating food. On the flip side, humans would rather spend time with food than with cats. Or with other humans for that matter. If you bought any avocados on Facebook, they're probably stolen. With local and global demand for avocados showing no sign of tapering off, there have been dozens of nighttime raids on orchards in New Zealand by thieves. But while last year most of the stolen crops ended up in roadside fruit stands and small shops, this year thieves have had to get more creative, and they're taking their stolen wares to social media like Facebook. Alright, maybe I'm just out of the loop here, but who does grocery shopping on Facebook? Some white supremacists taking DNA tests have discovered they're part black. That's gotta be awkward at the Klan meetings. Just wait until it comes out that they're also Lionel Richie fans. A new study finds that human brains are hardwired to gossip. I didn't realize the National Enquirer conducted studies, did you? Snack company KIND dumped 45,485 pounds of sugar in Times Square on Tuesday to spark conversation about how much added sugar children consume. On the plus side, New York's rodent problem has just been solved by giving all of the rats diabetes. 95-year-old producer Norman Lear has been given the go-ahead to produce a new series for NBC called Guess Who Died. Well, at 95 years old, has anybody considered this might be his autobiography? Canada plans to legalize recreational marijuana in 2018. An official says Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's liberal government will introduce legislation this spring that is expected to become law by July of next year. At which point, everybody who said they'd leave the U.S. if Trump got elected now have another reason to make good on that premise. Customers and employees of Joe's Crab Shack were stunned last week to discover the restaurants closed with no warning. The company has closed 41 restaurants so far. Man, first it was Radio Shack, now it's Joe's Crab Shack. I'd be getting my resume updated if I work at the Shake Shack. The man in Germany was charged with theft and burglary after police said they found 93 pounds of women's panties, bras, and other underwear at his home. Investigators believe the man took as many as 1,500 undergarments from apartment complex laundry rooms before he was caught. Well, I guess everybody needs a hobby. The next version of Google's Android software will be called Oreo. Followed shortly thereafter by someone saying it's racist because we live in 2017. UFO experts say that California is the state with the most UFO sightings. With all the plastic surgery there, the aliens are probably confused, thinking California is their home planet. A former computer programmer who got rich by rigging state lottery systems has been sentenced to prison. He's assigned to cell numbers 4, 6, 12, 22, and Red Cell 81. The study finds that about a third of new parents lose the equivalent of two months of sleep during their baby's first year. And one in five parents said they lose more than three hours a night, almost three full nights a week. But even those of us without kids, we still lose that much sleep, usually from staying up late binge-watching Netflix. In Spain, Rocio Cortes Nunez delivered her third child by C-section at Seville's Voma Hospital. Shortly after the delivery, she was being wheeled from surgery to a recovery room and was in an elevator when sheer tragedy struck. Reportedly, while the doors opened and shut, the elevator didn't move. So the orderlies decided to try another elevator. But as they were moving Mrs. Nunez out and with the doors open, the elevator suddenly started going up. The exact details have not been confirmed, but reports from the BBC suggest that when the elevator started moving, part of her body was outside the elevator and part was in. And she was decapitated. Her newborn baby was not in the elevator with her during the accident, which a regional health minister describes as quick, unusual, and tragic. Her family is demanding somebody be punished over the death. Believe it or not, the elevator was reportedly serviced fewer than 10 days ago. Hold the phone! In-person contact is the only type of interaction that beats depression. Oregon Health and Science University researchers studied data on 11,000-plus adults ages 50 and over who'd been asked how often they communicated with family and friends through get-togethers, calls, letter, and emails. Those who saw loved ones in person at least three times a week, they had just a 6.5% chance of being diagnosed with political depression. But those who got in-person contact only every few months or less had a 11.5% chance. Which all seems kind of strange to me, because isn't it typically dealing with your family that causes depression? They may get incredible free healthcare, not have to pay back student loans, and a pension for life. But even congressmen and congresswomen are held to the same standards as the rest of us when they break the law. Montana Representative Greg Gianforte had lost his bid to avoid being booked, photographed, and fingerprinted for assaulting a reporter the day before he was elected last May. Judge Rick West ordered Gianforte to report to the Gallatin County Detention Center to be booked for the assault charged by September 15th. Gianforte was never arrested and booked for the assault against Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs on May 24th. Prosecutors filed the assault charge later that day, and Gianforte pleaded guilty in June. However, his attorneys argued that he should not have to be photographed and fingerprinted because he was never actually arrested. But the judge shot that down. Of course, Gianforte wouldn't want anybody to have a mugshot to use against him, you know, when he runs for re-election next year. Being a nasty jerk at work pays off. A joint study at Cornell and Notre Dame University seems to prove that the old saying, nice guys finish last is true, especially in the workplace. The researchers found that men who were less agreeable earned 18% more or an extra $10,000 annually and similar types of women averaged 5% more or nearly $2,000 per year. Nice guys are getting the shaft, declares Cornell professor Beth A. Livingston. The problem is many managers don't realize they reward disagreeableness. I wanted to show this to my boss in the hopes of him changing the way he treats me, but I don't like confrontation. Police in Germany have seized a stash of Donald Trump-shaped ecstasy pills. During a recent random traffic stop, cops glanced inside a van and saw the 5,000 pills which were pressed into the shape of the president's head. Alright, wait a minute here. This one looks like Fred Flintstone. I think some of these might be kids' vitamins. Whether it's the result of a solid economy or simply generosity, the Tooth Fairy is slipping a lot of money under pillows in exchange for baby teeth. The nationwide average in 2016 was $4.66 per tooth, up 19% from the $3.91 she gave in 2015, and up a staggering 93% from the $2.42 she gave in 2012. That's the word from the annual Tooth Fairy poll of 1,588 parents nationwide conducted by Delta Dental, which points to the busy fairies as a barometer of the stock market's overall direction. And I was born in the wrong decade. I only got a quarter from the Tooth Fairy for my lost molars. Ex-CIA Operative Valerie Plame, whose cover was blown during the George W. Bush administration, she wants to buy Twitter. Why? Just to get President Trump thrown off of it. And with that in mind, she has started a GoFundMe page to buy a controlling interest in Twitter in order to delete the president's account. The company is currently worth about $12 billion, and so far she's got right around $53. In her new book detailing her failed 2016 presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton writes that while she kept her composure during their town hall debate when Donald Trump stalked her on stage and invaded her space, she was thinking that the then GOP candidate was a creep who made her skin crawl. Isn't it great to learn she's not a sore loser? A Catholic priest has taken a leave of absence after revealing his past as a member of the KKK. The Klan and the priesthood. Maybe he's not a white supremacist after all. Maybe he just really enjoys the feel of loose-flowing garments. A truck driver distracted by a GPS unit crashed in Arkansas and spilled a truckload of spaghetti sauce. Earlier this month in Arkansas, a tank car filled with bourbon crashed on an interstate. And also this month in Arkansas, a truck accident left frozen pizzas scattered about. So the lesson here is clear. Hang out on Arkansas highways if you want to save money on your grocery bill. If you're already an official weirdo, please share this video on Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and other social media to help get the word out. If you'd like to become an official weirdo, simply click that subscribe button and the notification bell. And while you're at it, click that like button to let the world know that you're a weirdo.