 to be to Q-plus use edition. Today is December 17th and we will be discussing asexuals and aromanticism. Close enough. My name is Yulka Serta. I use the them pronouns and to my left is. My name is Naven. I use he, him pronouns. My name is Oliver. I use he, him, they, them pronouns. My name is Piper. I use he, him, they, them pronouns. So for those who don't know, what is asexual and what is aromantic? Okay, so asexual means having little to no sexual attraction. So that as well as aromanticism falls on a spectrum. So you could be completely asexual with absolutely no sexual attraction or you could feel it some of the time or once you develop a bond with someone and for aromanticism it's the same way. So you could be completely aromatic and feeling no romantic attraction or you could fall anywhere on that spectrum. Okay, so that's romantic and sexual attraction. Are there more? Yes, there are. There's sexual attraction, romantic attraction, aesthetic, sensual and platonic. Okay, so what is aesthetic attraction? Aesthetic attraction is basically you can look at a person and be like, wow, they're like cute or handsome and that's basically it. It doesn't have to be connected to any other kinds of attraction. And Piper, what is sexual attraction? Sensual. Sexual. Oh, well it is when you have a desire or you have an attraction towards someone and it's obviously sexual. I'm not really sure. It's like you want to have sex with them? Yeah, in the most technical term. Yeah. Just you want to have sex with them. That was surprising. We have three aces trying to describe sexual attraction and there's also platonic. So what is that? Because I don't even know that one. Platonic attraction just means pretty much you just like want to be friends with someone. That can go along with other types of attraction. All these types of attraction, they can you can like feel multiple at once or you can feel them completely individually or all of them together. But platonic attraction just means you want to be friends with someone. And because I often don't know how to define this, what is sensual? Sensual attraction. You should like to touch them. That was creepy. That was. I know. So sensual attraction is basically you want to hug someone or cuddle with them or like it can kind of entail kissing to a certain extent but it's not always. Romantic attraction. This is the one I know because I can actually feel it. So romantic attraction is okay. It can it's almost like a combination of a lot of the attractions. Like it's essentially just like you want to be in a romantic relationship with them. You want to date the person you want to. It's oh gosh. It's like a bunch of things wrap up into one. So wherever you consider romantic, that is what it is. So what do you consider romantic then? I mean like for me nothing because I'm in a romantic relationship. Literally nothing I do I would possibly ever consider romantic because it's not. So you don't consider kissing romantic then do you? No. That's strange because I do. Yeah. That's not sexual to me at all. Yeah. Well I mean like it kind of I don't really know. It kind of depends what like sort of kissing I guess for lack of better terms. Can you think of a better way to phrase that? Nope. Exactly. So I don't know. You don't know. It's just yeah I don't really know. Yeah I'm just kind of like I don't really understand romantic attractions like same with Oliver. Like I don't really see anything as romantic. Or it's like I can like some things I see as as could be platonic or romantic but everyone's like no that's romantic. They're clearly flirting. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean I think all of the attractions are super individual and people definitely have different like thoughts about how they define their own like experiences and feelings in terms of types of attraction and obviously you don't have to label them at all either. So moving on from that because I actually forgot to do something in the intro. Because I'm really smart. You identify as a romantic individual. What do you identify as? I identify as asexual. I'm not really sure about my romantic orientation but and at this point like I've been questioning it for so long that doesn't really matter anymore. So I just say I'm a romantic. So yeah. So you're an L and A son. Yeah. Yes. All right. I am on the asexual spectrum. I've also I've also been questioning things for so long. It's kind of a blurred mask. I don't want to have sex. That's all you need to know. That's all you need to know. I'm a romantic and I guess sexuality I usually just call myself gay because that can mean anything but also like it's just easier. I'm definitely asexual. That's for sure. A romantic. I know I fall in the spectrum somewhere. Definitely great great romantic. And how old were you when you like knew? Like when you started to question things. Like literally just like five six months ago. Like okay. Yeah. Whoa. And I don't know. Yeah it's been a while. I don't know. I didn't realize it was a thing which is why I was like oh this is just who I am. Because it needs to be in more media. Yeah. We'll get that. What about you for like ages and all that. I think coming to terms with it. Yeah. I think I I think I found the right label probably like seven months ago. So you booked me recently then. Yeah. And maybe a little longer ago than that. But I was before that like questioning whether I was somewhere on that spectrum or remember that just like I remember that stage. I was there. We're just like thinking about different labels I can use and like what I'm comfortable with and that kind of thing. I was probably thinking about that for like five months before that. So I don't know. Like I've been thinking about it for around a year or so. It only really came about when like people around me started like talking about sex and all of that. Like people started to age who is like what have you done so far. Like that's weird. First of all they're asking that question. And second of all like I was thinking about it and I was like I don't want to do any. Like when you're a kid it's not really something to bra up. Like when I'm five I don't care. I don't believe in where it is. Where it's like when it as I got older I was like no what. And then I was like oh that makes a lot of sense. Like when did I know or when did I. When did you like start questioning it. When did you like actually figure it out. I kind of always knew I was like different. I guess that sounds really cliche. That sounds bad. Shut up. I'm sorry I hate that so much. No I kind of figured it out like Jesus I don't even know. I'm gonna say like eight months ago but it was probably sooner than that. I'm really not sure. So within the past year. Yeah I'm just yeah that's close enough. Yes so we've all kind of figured it out within the past year. Yeah it was a while ago. It was probably like a year ago. It doesn't really matter it was a while ago. So and another like for me it was really difficult because I was like how do I know I never actually had sex. Which is a question I've been asked a lot. How do you know if you're anything you'd never had sex. Oh answer it. Oh so well first off you don't really like ask like a gay man like how do you know you're gay if you've never had sex with a man. And like especially if you could. You could but that's weird and none of your business and not it's not a requirement to like have sex to know your sexual orientation. It's just because also it's about like attraction. Like it's about whether you can like know someone or look at someone and like be attracted to them in whatever way. Like it doesn't necessarily have to correlate with your experience. Yeah like attraction is an action. Like you can still have sex but not like be attracted to that person sexually and doesn't even mean it's an unpleasant experience. It's just like you're not attracted to that person. Yeah you can still be aroused a lot of the time. It's like you don't really necessarily want to when you don't have that like desire. Yeah it's like the feeling can be there but you don't really want to act on it or feel it's necessary to act on it. A lot of aces do actually have sex because maybe they're in relationship with someone who is an ace and they want to do it for their partner or they just feel like not in a weird way. Not in a weird way. Not in a bad way but maybe it does just feel nice for them because they basically feel that stuff. Yeah we have working genitals most of us. Lovely. And so we kind of catch on like the stigma of like not of being knowing this so young. Did you guys face that with coming out as arrow or anything? Like is there stigma of knowing your arrow so young? I mean probably but there's you haven't seen it. I haven't seen it because most people like I only mention it to people if I'm like with a group of people where I know they'll understand what it means or if someone asks me a question that's like uncomfortable then I actually explain to them like well I'm aromantic and that means this and then they're like okay and so I don't really get like I don't know questions like that at all because people just don't know what it is so they're just like okay whatever or they just ask something that's like completely unrelated so I don't think there's enough like education or awareness about it to like. What about like have stereotypes? Like you like say you'd never want to get like married and then it's like push backwards. I respect them like saying that. Yeah. Like you will eventually because I always I've got that too with big A's like you'll find the right person and eventually you'll want to screw them and I'm like yeah I won't. Yeah no I have people who are like like even classmates who are my age when I'm having conversation with like my career classmates about aromanticism and some other person is just like questioning what we're talking about and it's like well you'll probably want to get married someday like you can't decide when you're 14 like probably a lot of people don't want to get married when they're 14 and that's not the point so I don't think people understand like it's not necessarily about like very specific things like I'm sure there are people who feel romantic attraction who don't want to get married but that's not the same thing it's just like not feeling romantic attraction at all. The problem is that sometimes that's true like my mom can like reminds me a lot that like when she was younger she didn't want to get married. Yeah no that's definitely because you couldn't be married at 14. Yeah honestly. What? I don't know. I don't know. I forgot what I was about to say. Okay. And another question for all the arrows so essentially it's not me. Did you guys have to come out as arrow or if you did what was that like? Whoa I was not ready for that. Turn to you because I'm like really curious about this because I don't understand. I don't I didn't I never my parents never really I don't know never gave me any maybe my mom was like okay honey. You do you. Yeah she's like you know what just go live a good life that's pretty much what my parents I don't even want to know what my dad would say I don't know what his reaction would be but I know he's probably just like okay so nothing really. Did you have to come out or was kind of like just like you like drop it and that's why I came out. I came out as trans and then like went through like a few months or so where I was like changing labels and figuring stuff out and I think like everyone goes through that especially after coming out when like now you can talk to people about it without them being like hmm this is suspicious so like I was having the time when I was having like those kind of conversations and figuring that out so I think I changed my labels like a few different times and my parents pretty much didn't care because I told them what they needed to know which is like I'm trans hear my pronouns like here's a basic explanation of my gender like there you go and then if I mention other stuff in conversation they're just like okay whatever like I don't know they probably don't understand what it means like I seriously doubt they know what's happening but that's what's happening but also like other I have like other family members and friends who know what that means and so I didn't I wouldn't say I came out but you do you but like I would just mention it yeah I feel like it's a big deal so I don't know yeah I kind of the same thing dramatic I kind of did the same thing where didn't like come out but I like purposely dropped it into conversation yeah or it's like just so I could be like hey this is a thing I got like a weird look occasionally and then they were just kind of like whatever it's just duals talking about more gay stuff I was like yep you're doing great best best reaction about you just gonna go to a line space where we're doing that's good um I never really um sat my mom down and was like I have something important to talk to you about like you always see in movies no I've never I've never actually happened yeah it's never it's it's always like hey by the way it's like casually tacked on to the end of a sentence like here yeah so my mom didn't understand it at first and um at first she um was like oh everyone feels that sometimes and like you're young and stuff and she's gotten better which is good but um yeah I never really like came out to her and I'm not out to my dad but I know he knows what it is because he watches a show with a character in whose ace who also explained aromanticism at some point is it good like is it good representation yeah yeah it's like yeah like I've seen clips it's like actually actually like accurate representations pretty good I haven't seen the show though but um so I know my dad would know and he'd probably be fine with it he might be like oh you're young or whatever but I doubt he'd be like you know and can I swear you can lightly swear or he probably won't be a jackass about it so that's fine yeah okay yeah I feel like there's not a lot of like aggressive response and this probably like I'm not trying to speak to everyone experience yeah but like in my experience I've never like personally experienced or known someone who's experienced like an aggressive reaction or a super strong reaction to coming out as somewhere on the aero a spectrum because people don't understand and they're not mad about it because they just think you're like completely making stuff up so they're like okay whatever and they're not going to be mad about it at all but also wouldn't it be like a little strange coming at its ace and your parents like are suddenly like really concerned about your like like others like like having pushed back against your like your sex life like it'd be weird to have my parents like start being like well eventually you'll have like that's weird to me like why do you care as long as I'm being sick because I'm being super sick because I'm actually doing it what's the issue yeah I think my mom also knows I'm ace like if I've talked to her about a lot of this stuff and she didn't your mom that's bigger dad doesn't know anything yeah yeah got it yeah I don't have like a like a reason to come out to him like I'll I'll tell him at some point that's really good reason to come out yeah so my mom is more accepting of the fact that I'm ace because she's just like okay some people don't have sex I don't think she can really exactly wrap her head around like abstinence or something um no I think she um I think she has a hold on a room um asexuality um but I think she can't like completely wrap her head around aromanticism and stuff like that so yeah a lot of people find it more confusing and I'd I find it more confusing I guess I feel like maybe that has something to do with how broad the definition of like romance can be because it's a romantic attraction yeah because it's so individual and also like I've never like it's so impossible for people to explain like I don't everyone has a different definition and also it's something that's like I don't think it's easy to explain unless you have personal experience so like you would try to explain aromanticism to me yeah and it was like blowing my mind the whole time because I was like what because I don't understand I still don't probably will never will to be honest just whoa yeah I just started there freaking out most of the time wasn't I so do you need help yeah I'd be happy to help me what do you need help with anything talk me a conversation oh lord um are you going down the list or like are you just jumping around because oh lord no it's it's good it's good okay what are some stereotypes you faced thank you you're welcome I shouldn't be allowed to leave this I don't I don't have a lot of stereotypes for like for actual there's like the quiet kid that doesn't talk to anyone it's not I think it's not so much like stereotypes like everywhere because it's like so not well known but there's definitely stereotypes within the people within the lgbtq community I know there are definitely some for aro yeah which is like unfeeling monsters yeah which looks like predator this is horrible yeah predator thing is like it's sweet well people think that like people who are aromantic and asexual are just like have no feelings and don't know what they're talking about and like don't have a personality which is like hey a lot good then I'm kidding I love you too I don't know it's like so completely inaccurate and yeah like horrible yeah have you met anyone they probably don't know there's just like so many like trolls in the community that just really love to hate ace and aro people yeah but like try to shove them add the community too which is like yeah because like there's the whole like cis het aces and cis gender heteroromantic aces and cis gender heterosexual arrows can't be lgbtq and like they can that's fine it's it's yeah but did you have you like first three stereotypes yourself oh myself like an outside of the online community um no not really but I've definitely been like kind of hesitant to tell people because I know it can be like met with a lot of backlash like people like usually don't have like the courage to do it in person so yeah people usually won't say it to your face which is why they're on the internet but um yeah it's always weird I mean there's definitely like most of what I've experienced in terms of like stereotypes is honestly just people not believing it's a real or just be super hesitant to accept that it's like genuinely a feeling and people something that exists rather than just like a preference or something they also have a hard time like separating romantic and sexual together yeah like they really think they go together it's like they don't have to they can but they don't have to so like if I have like sometimes my um like cis gender heterosexual friends um the one cis gender heterosexual friend the one there's like a cis het friend or just like just like people who are aromantic and whose sexual identity and romantic identity align can just have a hard time understanding what I'm talking about so if I'm like I'm an aromantic that means I don't like I'm not interested in like these things and then they sort of ask me like does that mean that like you're fine with like this or this or don't these two things always have to go together like can't you not do that like separately and doesn't it always have to line up and so I think people just struggle with that but I've also found that like a lot of people um will learn based on like just more conversations about it and like talking about specific feelings or just talking about like what you are comfortable with and like what your relationships look like and people understand so you're talking a little bit about the unlike community and with their I occasionally venture into like the aero ace they're like I don't whoa I gotta leave it just don't wait do you mean like the bad bad part of it oh like I occasionally see it I'm like like the people who are like we shouldn't be a part of the community yeah that's you should that's called um ace discourse and it's not a lot of fun it's basically just why do you know so many big words because I follow a lot of hey do you check out that account I did there you go it just made me laugh okay in a good way in a good way that's how to meet in a good way I'm sorry so can you repeat your question please with the online community do you I normally just saw like I didn't see a lot of bad stuff just normally the issues can be about the community have you seen a lot of bad stuff there I what is it yeah I have so the thing is I follow like not just ace and aero accounts I follow other lgbt accounts and the and like every now and then you'll get someone on that account who posts something like really controversial about aces and then like the comments will just go crazy are we that controversial yeah it's it's really annoying this is controversial yeah it's um I don't know the main argument I see is like our oppressors are trying to force their way into the community and it's and it's also like what and as far as oppressors they mean like cisgender and either heteroromantic or heterosexual people are trying to force their way into the community it's like no they're already there they're already there and it's also like a lot of um arrows and aces like if they if they do experience attraction either romantic or sexual or like something else it's like usually not like straight or like to the opposite gender it can you don't feel yeah I don't see it a lot it's like it's obviously like why honestly like it's there and like that's totally fine I don't see a lot of it so like where are these people like I don't know where these people are coming from like every single ace person is heteroromantic I don't know where that's coming from clearly not there's also um a lot about like the expectation that all um arrow people are also ace and that all ace people are also arrow yeah which can also be damaging yeah people are confused that I'm in a romantic relationship but yeah there's no sex involved and I honestly it's pretty like it's still fairly easy for me because of my age what it's like it's not expected it's like super accepted it's not expected expected not accepted it's not super expected to be having sex at 14 yeah so I can still kind of like skirt under like my age and like use that but like I figured if I'm getting older it'll anyone who's older it's like harder to like explain that there's no sex involved in this relationship yeah or if you just bottle their mind like what you don't have sex people don't understand if you make like very assured statements about your future if I'm like I don't want to get married then people start to question it like if I'm like I don't really know if I want to get married in the future like I'm not interested in that right now people are like okay whatever you're 14 like no one really cares but if I say something really like sure because I am then people get confused because they're like why like why are you so sure right now and I personally I never like I never tried I always sort of avoid making like listen really like sure statements because I'm not sure yeah eventually I could like there's still that possibility of me having sex and then sexual attraction is still there because like everything it's fluid yeah which is maybe it's gonna drill into your head like everything it's fluid I don't the problem is that like no matter what I say say even if it's like a sure statement or it's like a possibility for change it's like still gonna be doubted yeah or or if it's if or if I say it in like an unsure way it's it's automatically like yeah it's regarded kind yeah disregard or like yeah you're definitely gonna want kids when you grow up that's been a big one for me I hate that so much I don't hate I don't hate kids I don't want kids but I don't want kids no I want I think that if yeah like if you make a really if you make a statement that's closer to what you actually feel and you say something about like I'm not really sure what I'll want in the future but here's what I feel right now so please don't ask me these questions or expect this from me then people are gonna question what you're talking about and be like well that's probably not true you're definitely gonna change your mind in the future so I think that's what leads people to making super like bold statements about like I'm never going to do these things and probably where the stereotypes about like you have no feelings and you're being too harsh come from it feels like you're not gonna be taken seriously yeah you have to like defend yourself I feel like people would not be like you have no feelings if they learned about the different if they didn't just think it's all romantic and sexual yeah people know because like can you you can still feel aesthetic attraction right yeah and like I can feel any type of attraction that's not romantic like that's all that's feeling yeah and we will just don't understand so I have a question for you guys being ace or arrow in schools because for me it's like I'm always being asked like what have you done and the people are talking about it in class why is it coming up in class that's for real all I'm just trying to do my math work leave me alone but it's like it comes up and it's like how far have you gone and I'm like no wait what I know it's completely stupid I hate like kids will walk up so be a crushing on what act have you done sexually I don't want to say it because it's like why do you care it's so disgusting but also like the reactions you get out of it and you have no idea how many times I tried to explain it to somebody and it just like yeah yeah over their head oh god and then the next day it's like so did you ever do a thing we just randomly choose a person yes I did just leave me alone I'd be like that guy and I'd be like oh what are you gonna do that I'm like if you shut up I'll hug them like does that work for you yeah because it's a hug yeah the thing about that is like I would do that too I just pick out a question it's like that's a fairly attractive guy who's not too much of a jackass I'm gonna ooh that was fun times well you're straight yep so I would do that and then um but then they're like what are you gonna do about it and it's like is it like a general assumption that you're gonna act on your crush like no I'm too well wait is it no but like I think apparently you have to do something but it's like first off you can just like enjoy that feeling yeah it's not necessarily negative to have a crush on someone and not like be in a relationship like you should just be able to enjoy that feeling without everyone being like get in a relationship now people are always painted as like if you have like attraction to someone and you don't like do anything about it then it's like oh you're so like desperate inside and you need to like work up some self-confidence and have the courage to talk to them it's like what if I just don't care like has that crossed your mind like what if I just like looking at them yeah that sounds creepy but like you know but also like I I feel like like you were talking about earlier when people just don't listen or when you tell them like that's none of your business or like no I'm not interested in any of these things or I haven't done any of these things I also get people who reassure me when I'm like when they're like have you done this or this or this I'm like no I like no they're like oh you'll get there someday you're like oh it's okay I don't know it's just I don't know yeah it's always people I don't know very well yeah because my friends would never ask me that crap yeah because I know but it's also like and like if they do they do it like better than just like have you given up a job I don't know it's awesome it's like the weirdest thing yeah that's it that's the exact question that I have been asked it's so many times it's so gross I hate how that's just like a normal thing that people apparently talk about like okay I why okay so I have a question for you too yeah are there such significant crushes absolutely what are they called squish squish yeah I love that I know it's great it's so cute yeah you know that's Santa squishy so is it just like you definitely want to be friends yeah it's like basically the way I look at it is you want to be friends with some of them but with someone but usually for the reasons you want to be in a romantic relationship with them but not necessarily so was it like queer botanic um no I'm really I mean it's like it's like flutonic is like wait can I before we get to this can I just say one more yeah so I've been having so like I love my friends and thank you yeah and I tell them that a lot I love you I love you too and and like I'll and I'll be talking about my friends to someone else and I'll be like yeah so and so they're great I love them they think you have crush on them yeah and it's like you'll I'll just be talking about them it's like so do you have a crush on them and it's just like I'm not gonna clap really loudly but it's just like where did that come from it's just like you hit a wall and it's like I asked my mom to drive me to go hang out with someone and they were like so are you gonna put the moves on so-and-so oh my god first off they're senior so like that's just weird second I've no they're senior I mentioned them twice and they were suddenly like oh you must be crushing on them and I'm like no I just want to go hang out with them this one I've gotten I've gotten the I can't drive I'm so happy you're dating reaction it's like what what what I love my friends yeah I yeah I swear okay all right question the platonic crushes yes why are they what are they how are they different queer platonic so is it like the beforehand not when you don't have to want a queer platonic relationship with someone like you could just be like should we try to explain yeah I'll define that first yeah okay so basically a lot of people tend to mistake it with romantic or like big platonic energy so yeah but basically it is like say you had someone and your queer platonic partner it's like you want to go live with them you want to have you might want to raise children it's not a requirement it's different for every relationship yeah and you you set your you give your boundaries to each other it's like it's very interesting and it's not it's a lot of people met and like kind of yeah sorry I'm not going to explain it's very bad question but I'm just super confused no it's okay it's it's just very specific to each relationship okay so yeah okay and so do the queer the current crushes and the queer platonic relationships are they some more things do they it's a one like the beforehand that I like if crush and then it's assumed that you will eventually start dating yeah but you don't have to either is well no but like it's very different it's just like we're all so good to look at between yeah platonic attraction or platonic crushes and queer platonic relationships I think there's that way you're asking kind of deeper level of commitment yeah yeah because you can be friends with someone without being like I'm going to live with you for my entire life when you live with me probably not yes fair would you live with me I mean sure I got one let's just get a giant house and live in the woods it'll be fine that's not because like a prime spot to be murdered it's a horror movie the making so it's not but no I'm not gonna do okay so what makes queer people feel different from romantic um it because couldn't anything be defined as romantic as we discussed yeah that's the thing that's like the lines can be very blurred and I think part of it is that if the people involved in the relationship feel it's necessary to like differentiate it from romantic like by whatever standards they have for it that's important and it's obviously important to them okay follow-up question have you ever seen a queer platonic relationship in media no have you I don't believe so you don't believe it's also a very new concept well like new like the label yeah it's like not like a new thing that we invented it's just made it up yeah it's just um yeah it's just um yeah like now it's a label that's actually being used and validated by people and it's something that's like talked about in terms of defining your relationships and maybe it's like going to be more widely accepted or no no in the future but because I feel like like asexuality is slowly starting to sleep into sleep into media a little bit more I have seen no aromantic yep I'm sorry guys I'm like there's just bad representation no it's not it's not your fault it's the media we can blame them for everything but um we did this episode already yeah we can talk about asexual editor romantic was fine this this is media though this is media whoa quality media that's whoa I'm not ready for this okay anyway we can become a representation and that's kind of what we have to do is this thing I'll do it I'll write a whole novel that's the whole point of why we're here I'm just let's just write a novel this is already not much like put ourselves in any representation yeah I'll do it I mean the problem like that's actually like honestly a problem is that there's like so little representation for ace and arrow people that we have to make our own representation yeah and yeah and also if there's representation in the media like people are like oh like it doesn't really matter if there's like say there's one aromantic character in one show like that's not going to make a difference no one cares just make them normal and like don't go there but it's like I don't think people understand what a big difference having just even one character in one show like in the media it makes such a big difference like especially in shows that like kids are watching or maybe parents are watching then they see this and they're like oh so like my classmate or my friend or my kid who talked about like them being aromantic like that's what this means and like it's real and it's being validated in the media so like it must be real so for the love of god stop showing me nerdy quiet aces they're just nerdy quiet aces they're like socially awkward and uncomfortable and they don't talk and then they end up being fixed by the end of whatever the murderers one of the two either one or both or both we need representation and we need it to start out being the right kind instead of it being like here's some representation but it's very stereotypical and actually completely wrong they're like are you happy now we need to arrow ace people in like the meetings that are like going into developing these characters and like putting them in media so that it's accurate and so that we start off the right way because if you put a character who's like bad representation into a show like that just gives people the wrong idea and then just develops like more stereotypes and more hesitation towards accepting people so we need it to be like the right media from the start you know what i want to see i want to see a poly queer power relationship that's what i want to see yes that'd be amazing let's do it i'm gonna start slimming this chair just slam the chair until we get over what no it'll work i can't clap because it's too loud you can't please don't break the microphone it's already broken oh wow it's fine i think that's about it right yeah yeah so any final thoughts like any kind of recap yeah any final thoughts from you guys any final do we want a specific recap question or just you could go for it do you want to make it like a takeaway just look what you want people to take away from this even start um you romance and sex is not a requirement for a happy life everything is fluid return um everything's individual and attractions don't line up always that was pretty i like all of those things um yeah um yeah i would wrap one more thing maybe oh my i'm type where i got you buddy thanks so like if you experience some attraction and people are pressuring you to act on it like oh don't tell them to screw off like if you want to act on it like so do that if you want to act on it that's fine but if you don't and you just want to like enjoy the attraction for what it is it's just as valid yeah go for it because like it can be fun you don't need to be in like or so crushing or so crushing but mostly fun like you you you don't need to spend all your time like pining after someone just because someone's telling you you have to feel like that you feel like that was fine but like you don't have to um just pick a random guy i think the biggest thing is definitely don't let other people tell you or force you yeah you know you better than you know yourself don't yes exactly don't be in crushed inside that little box don't be crushed into a box in the community that isn't supposed to have boxes yes yes so this has been all thanks lgbtq plus youth edition thank you so much for watching we will see you next time bye bye