 life is just doing what it's doing, right? So, and yet to come together with intention to encounter God is, I think, the critical piece, as Dave said, you know, as we are leading into this, that word resonates. And it's a word that I want to keep throwing out there. Because I think, as we went through last night's adoration and preparing for that, I, just in a strong sense, you know, a lot of times I'll maybe create a reflection or something, you know, the typical stuff. And I just kind of, I felt like our father was intentional in sending the Son. He was intentional about coming after us. He's intentional about creating us for love. He's intentional about everything that he does. And so last night, it just became crystal clear, remind them, through those two passages that I read, that I'm coming to you. And I sent my Son and I'm coming to you. And I want to get face to face with you. So we said, you just, you just be quiet. Let me do the talking. And that's all I felt like I was called to do. So I have a question for you, just out of curiosity. How many of you felt the father's love last night? Okay, doesn't pressure, maybe you didn't, maybe you're just kind of going, oh, missing something tonight. I don't know. But so here's the question. How did you do that? Let's do a bit of a role play for a minute. Let's say I'm one of your parishioners. And you went through adoration and you were allowed to experience the love of God. How did you do that? Because I'm sitting there and I'm just kind of watching and, you know, they say it's Jesus, but I'm not sure. How did you, was it a feeling? How did you get to the place where in your heart you came to encounter the love of God being poured into you? Because I looked around the room and it looked like a lot of guys were just going in, right? And as the monstrance came by, you're leaning in deeper. You were reaching out, not just physically, but your hearts were reaching out. How did you do that? Because your parishioners need to know. They need to know. They need to know how to do that because oftentimes we kind of go through the motions and I think, you know, we're really good at giving information. And then we live according to the Great Assumption and that is that once you give people information, they know what to do with it. But they don't oftentimes. And I think that's why, you know, less than 30% of the people in our faithful Catholic still coming are actually believed that that's him. But we know he came last night. We know we were in his presence. And because we knew that, how we got to that place is a really critical piece. How did we get to the place where we knew that was him? How did we get to the place where we knew that that was him? And then we could receive what he wanted us to receive because that's what our people are starving for. And I believe that I was raised in the 70s and 80s and I count myself as being part of the lost generations. The generations after Vatican II that they stopped teaching the good stuff and it all became touchy-feely stuff and the Holy Spirit was a felt bird on a banner. That's the spirit. And I'm like, a bird? Don't you just feel good to know the spirit's always around you? And that's what I got. It was just kind of crazy. But I think things are very, you know, we think about our Father's love and what God is doing, particularly with the Eucharist and coming to us is that he was intentional in making us or helping us know that he's present and coming to be in our presence so that we could then choose. And that's a critical piece, the choice. Because you see, once you become aware of the truth, you have to make a choice. I remember as a kid, I was, you know, and when I was younger, we had Saturday matinee movies on TV, remember those? And I was there watching, you know, and I'm watching this scene and there's this 45-year-old son at the death bed of his father in the hospital. His father's there and he's, you know, he's dying. And his son is there with him holding his hand. And then all of a sudden you hear the monitor go, and you see the thing stop bouncing and he dies and you watch this son all of a sudden when his dad is gone, dives on top of his dad's chest pretty much and begins to bitterly weep, bitterly weep crying, dad, dad, dad, I love you. I love you. But he couldn't say it while his dad was alive. I love you. I love you so much. Dad, I love you. He couldn't say it. And as I was watching that scene, I was struck because my dad was a Cuban, man. He passed away in 2018. And of course, he was that machísimo Hispanic, you know, his love was a hug and a pat on the back. That was his, I love you. But as this little kid, this teenage boy, I wanted to hear my dad say, I love you. And I'm like, God got it. That's it. I'm going to get my dad to tell me he loves me. I want to hear the words. I love you son. So I started. And if you can imagine, every night my dad would come home from work, he'd have his favorite chair and my mother would bring out his dinner on one of those little dinner tables. Right? Because that's the way it was. He got served at the table and he sat there and watched TV and he would watch TV until that night. Then he'd go to bed and we were all just there and we would eat our meals too. And then, you know, so I thought, okay, I'm going to go to bed and my dad's still up at the TV. Here it is. I'm going to tell him I love him and he's going to tell me I love you back. So I'd get up and I'd have to walk, you know, from the den through the open living room to the entryway and then down the hallway to my bedroom. So getting up, I'm ready to go. I'm all nervous because, you know, I'm going to hear my dad say he loves me. This is exciting. Well dad, time to go. I'm going to bed. Okay son. And then I start walking away. I chickened out. I didn't look at him. I didn't do anything. I just, I just like, good night dad. I love you. Nothing. I went to bed without hearing him say, I'm like, okay, fine, you know, it's fine. Mr. Machisimo. I'm going to be tenacious. I'm going to get this sucker. So every night I started to do that. Good night dad. I love you. Nothing. Whole week. Nothing. Whole month. Nothing. Two months. Nothing. Three months. Nothing. Six months. Nothing. Every night. One year. Nothing. Year and a half. Nothing. A little over two years. And now, now I'm just in automatic power. All right, going to bed dad. Love you. And then all of a sudden I'm at the entryway. And there it comes. Same here son. And I'm like, my heart left. But it wasn't the words. He was trying, but the old guy, he couldn't do it yet. So I kept going. Now I'm, we were even invigorated. Now my dad is in the chair. I'm like, good night dad. I'm going to bed. Love you. Second night after that first night, nothing. Sissy. Couldn't believe it. Wouldn't do it. Then the third night, same here. And then he started to say it. Then he began to be more comfortable saying, same here son. Now I'm just more invigorated. It's just there. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. And now we're getting close to three year mark. A little over three years. And he'd been used to saying, I just got used to it. Yeah, maybe this is the best he can do. You know, I mean, yeah. So I'm going through and I, and I, and I said, good night dad. I'm, I'm going. And this time he, I didn't hear it while I was leaving, you know, like going through the living room. I got into the entryway by the door and all of a sudden I said, I heard him say, I love you too, son. I just stopped and stared at the front door and I just started crying. I mean, not just like weeping. I was trying to be as quiet as I could, but I had full on booger snot flowing down my shirt. I'm like, we all have these amazing hearts that were created by God for his love, for his love. And we serve people who, who were created for love and never will be satisfied until we're free to experience that love. Isn't that true? We're not free, but that's why Jesus came to set the captives free, free so that we could once again do what we were made to do and we were made to love, but not just the self centered selfish way of the world dance way. We were made to give ourselves as a gift to everybody and it is a complete and total gift. It's not what Jesus calls us to, but we're not free. We have reservations. We have doubts. We have fears. We got all the garbage that the enemy is using to keep us bound. We're not free, but there is great intention in God and helping us get to that place where we, where we come to encounter that love. It is his heart's desire that we all become free so that we can enter into what we were made for intimate communion with him. For the last couple of years, my ministry, I go around and do parish missions and stuff like that too. And of course, because of the Eucharistic Congress, I've started, I've been asked to do some Eucharistic missions and, and I pray a lot and I, and I'm looking at parishes and I, what I've begun to look at over the past couple of years with, with great intention. I mean, we've heard all week long from all the previous speakers, really good, amazing meat on why we know that's body, blood, soul, and divinity, right? We're not really great at saying why. We give the how and the what, but we're not great at saying why because that's the question the world's asking us. Why? Why does Jesus want to become so close? We know, we experienced it last night. Why does he humble himself and take on that? He gives us all of these things and I, so for me, part of the why, so I found myself in, in preparing for some of these type of missions, it's not so much answering that this is what it is, because I know they're going to get, go to other programs and stuff. So I'm thinking, what, what nugget can I help push people along in it? And it's, you know, so it ends up being something like, you know, how to see Jesus in the blessed sacrament, because most people don't see him. How do you get there? Because it has a lot to do with what we experienced last night. We were there. How do you get there so that you can benefit from the fruits? But it's, it's the why. Why? We need to talk more about the why and help them understand and explain. I mean, we, we, I'm convinced, I'm convinced that in the battlefield of faith, we're losing the fight and it has to do with free will, our freedom to choose. The enemy is speaking into us doubt all the time, all the time, and it affects us as leaders, does it not? I mean, each of us on our own right, we're being, we're being challenged all the time. At least I feel like I got a sucker on my shoulder constantly speaking into me saying, doubt, doubt, doubt, doubt, statements of doubt. You can't be here. You don't deserve to be here. You don't belong here. You don't, all these different things. You're not good enough. You're failing. And they're speaking all these different words into us. But it's at that point of choice, because once the truth is proclaimed, now we have to exercise this powerful gift we've been given called a free will. What do we do with that? Do we give instruction on what to do with that gift, besides just using it? But frankly, I feel like we use it all the time. We don't even realize that we have some power with that. John 3.16, for God's soul of the world that it gave us only begotten son, that those who believe, there's the choice, that if you choose to believe, you shall not perish but have eternal life. Those who believe illustrates the choice. We have this choice to choose to believe in the Word of God or not. We have this choice to believe what the world says and therefore decline and negate what God says. Well, we have the choice to embrace the truth. John 17.3, this is eternal life, that they would know you. Let me see the exact verse. It says, and this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent, this knowledge of him. But how do we attain that knowledge of him? If we are never led to that place to decide, do you want him? Do you come to a place in your life where you recognize you need him? Because you know, because the world now is just head over heels going away from God. We feel like, oh my gosh, what do we need to do to convince people that God is the way? And it's not. It's how do we lead people to the place to recognize that they need God? But see, once we do that, then we have to bring them to the point of decision to invoke choice, to decide with intention that I want my father's love. I need his love. There's something to this choice thing, because people are being spoken into so much that instead of sowing seeds of faith where they're being sown as the enemy desires, seeds of doubt. Remember in the book of Acts, Holy Spirit, in Acts chapter two, the Holy Spirit comes upon the apostles, the crowd makes fun of them. Peter gets up and he preaches a powerful word, right? And in that moment, in that moment it says in that text, it says that when they were done listening to Peter, it says they were cut to the why. Why not an epiphany? And when he was done preaching, a light bulb went on in their head. But it didn't say that. It says they were cut to the heart. Why? Because the Spirit was aiming at the heart. Why? Because the heart needed to become free to love. And if the Spirit was aiming at the heart, then why are we stopping with the head in our catechesis? Why are we stopping short by just giving them information and then going on to the Great Assumption and they know what to do with it? Right? So what happens? The minute they're cut to the heart, you know the statement, the statement comes up and says, Brothers, what must we do? You see in that moment that the proclamation of the word goes out, Peter is preaching, the Spirit is moving to the hearts. Bam, cutting the hearts. And then it immediately evokes a response. Brothers, what must we do? We want this salvation, but frankly, this thing that's in you now, I don't even know what it is. I don't know what you call it, but I want what you have. Yes? I want what you have. I want this salvation because of what I just heard. It evokes a response, a choice, a decision. Do I just sit there and go, yeah, no, they were cut to the heart. We can't touch the heart. That's the Spirit's job. But our job is to proclaim the truth. And then once we see the Spirit has evoked a response, now we call them to faith. Choose. Choose you this day who you will serve. Make the decision because now it begins for you. You taste it of him. He's coming. He's tapped you on the heart, you know, kind of look a little thump. My brothers, when I was some of the youngest of four boys, my brothers used to come and go, there's just one of those stupid annoying things you do to your little brother. Hey, bro, stop it. Right. But I think that's what the Spirit does. Not on my head, but he comes and just goes pink. And I was like, you know, like that dry sponge that's been left alone for a week on the kitchen counter and all of a sudden gets a couple of drops of water because you're all shriveled up. Your soul's like, and the Spirit comes and taps you until you throw that faucet on. This is what I was made. When they taste, then we have to bring them to that choice to choose to choose to receive. And so what did Peter say? Peter goes on and he says, Peter said to them, repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ. And then he gives them the why so that your sins may be forgiven and you will receive the gift singular of the Holy Spirit. By the way, those are the two elements of proper disposition that we need to give for sacramental prep. Catechism and Catholic Church 1131. The fruits of the sacraments will not come to fruition without the proper dispositions. They got a repent decision and they got to choose to die. Baptism has everything to do with bringing them to decision points, to choose to believe. But that's so hard. It's so hard. We're up against so much in our lives, so much. I know for me, there was so much bondage like we experienced in our own lives. You know, I was a kid. I had a sexual abuse situation at eight and a half years old and then I became a porn addicts after nine when I was exposed to a bunch of magazines. And so all I'm doing is just licking my wounds and running and doing what the world's telling me to do and what the world is forming me to do. And that is pretend it never existed and be a person who learns how to live lies. And so I'm just sorry, you know, young Mr. Four Boys, I feel like I'm a piece of garbage. I'm worthless. I'm no good. And that's why I strove so hard to play soccer. My older brothers played soccer. We're Colombian by birth and soccer was a big deal in my family. So at 15, after playing against my brother for all these years, I was a lot better than my peers. Why? Because my brothers didn't give me any slack. They beat me down. But then you learn how to play against bigger, faster, stronger guys. And so that's why I worked so hard to try to do it. And at 15, I tried out for the national team for the U.S. for 16 and unders and made it. And then God slew my false God. He canceled the team because of budget cuts. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. Because then I started asking the real questions, why am I really here? What's my life really for? And God just, you know, worked it all out. And all of a sudden, I'm at that place where God has sent disciples and evangelists around me, including my girlfriend then, who we dated five and a half years. Her name is Susan. She's my wife. We've been married 38 years. And she's the one who has a very profound part in my conversion or reversion because I was at Cradle Catholic who got all my sacraments and left the church. Because it didn't mean anything to me. Why? Because I didn't know him. And I barely knew stuff about him because when I went to religious education, I didn't pay attention. Who would if you don't want to be there? So I just played church. I did what the church told me to do. I jumped through the hoops and then I left because there was no meaning there. And no one certainly that I had until my senior year of high school, there was no one there that was ever intentional about helping me learn how to encounter Jesus. Intention. Are we intentional about our people coming to know him? So I'm sitting there at the point where my real decision is made. I'm sitting in a group of kids at a Protestant rally where before they had done an altar call and the guy who did the altar call said, if you prayed this prayer, stand up. And there was 500 high school kids in that room, and 300 of them stood up. And frankly, he prayed so long I fell asleep. Honest truth. I fell asleep. I was out cold. And he says, but when the chairs got up, you know, people with those chairs popped up, the seats popped up like the old movie theaters. And I woke up and I was startled away. So I stood up. True story. It's the weirdest thing, right? God has a great sense of humor. I'm going to bring it to me and he has no idea why. You know, just no clue why. So what happens? So I go to the back and go through the thing and the guy texts us through the curriculum again, the saving plan of God. And then he says, why don't we pray again? This time I didn't pay attention to him. This time I knew I had a decision to make. I had to decide. And it wasn't an earth-shattering great prayer. It was just very simple. Have you ever noticed that our faith doesn't need to be so complicated? I think we do that a lot of times. It just needs to be simple so people can get it. And that's why I think he has me in ministry is because I'm just a simple guy. But in that moment, I remember saying, Jesus, I don't, I don't really know you. I mean, I've learned some stuff about you, but I don't really know you. But if what they say is true and you really are real, then I want you to, I want you in my heart. See, what captured my attention and created desire in me is that little boy that was broken at eight and a half years old, who had been listening to the voices growing up saying, you're no good, you're broken, you're unlovable, no one could ever like you. You're just so short. You're, you know, and that's why I joke about being a hobbit deacon because that voice constantly attacked me and told me I wasn't good. And I know we all have a voice. Every one of us has that voice that just whispers into you and accuses and shows you you're no good. And until you recognize they're there and start learning how to do battle against those suckers, you pay attention to what they say and you start be living what they tell you. In fact, that's the challenge, isn't it? To stop be living what they tell you and start be living the Word of God. And that takes a decision, a choice to renounce and rebuke and receive and accept. So the moment I did, he tested me because God knows me, he created me, and he knew that he'd have to test me to see whether or not it was real. So once the test was done, I walked through the doorway back into the auditorium and the spirit just comes and goes, I feel like two 100-pound sandbags are lifted off my shoulders. And I felt this rush of peace and love just come over my heart. And the soccer jock that barely read to get through high school picked up that New Testament that was given to him and I couldn't put it down. I started reading it. You know what I found? You read the Gospels? It's all about love. Go figure. So I went back to my faith. I went back to my Catholic faith and I did go around and check out some other Protestant places. But every time I went around, I felt like, you know, something's missing. Didn't like them. I mean, they preached and stuff. It was good preaching, but something's missing. Something's missing. I couldn't figure it out yet. Because remember, I just came to know Jesus. I didn't know Jesus was really present, a Blessed Sacrament. In fact, if I'm going to be brutally honest with you, I was serving as a youth minister in South Florida and I was 27 year olds before I came to true faith in Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. See, here's how I thought it worked. You look at these guys that have gray hair and you watch them and you grow to trust and you believe in them. And these guys are holy guys. So if they believe that he's there, then okay, I'll take it on their word, which isn't bad, but it's not my word. And you know what happened? God is just so good. He comes, my pastor, as youth minister. He comes up to me and, you know, we do training every three months, right, for Eucharistic ministers, big parish, right, at that time. And so he comes up to me after he had finished that, that evening. He had been doing the training and then he saw me at Mass and he said, Ralph, come here. And I came up and he says, listen, I want you to become a Eucharistic minister so that our youth see you on the altar distributing communion. The next training is in three months. And I'm like, okay, but I had a, I had a real problem because based on everything that I had seen, I would have to take the Saboria, stand up in front of everyone and go the body of Christ and I couldn't tell you with absolute conviction of heart that that's really him. And so if he had said, I want you to do it tomorrow, I couldn't do it because I can't stand before you and tell you that's him unless I'm prepared with conviction of my own heart because I have chosen. So I now had three months to dig in and I did. I started diving in. I looked at scripture. I'm looking at, you know, commentaries. I'm looking at, you know, anything that I could get my hands on. And I, and when you guys are saying Mass, I'm kneeling there and I am listening to all the Eucharistic prayers. And I'm just praying, Lord, I, you got to give me the eyes to see. I don't know how. And then it just was the coolest thing. All of a sudden, you know, when you're presenting the gifts, you're asked, you ask the Holy Spirit to come and transform the gifts. I'm like, there it is. God can do anything he wants to do. And if we're asking God to do that, and in a very simplistic way, I began to believe that that was Jesus. And it changed my life because from that point on, I started becoming a daily communicant as best as I could. You see, I figured if Jesus showed up every morning at church at eight o'clock, if he physically walked into the church and sat in a celebrant's chair, where would I be? I'd be at Mass. And then the next question comes, where in the church would you be? Would you be seating in your normal place when you're not with your spouses in the back on the left side? Where would you be if Jesus was really sitting up front in the celebrant's chair during Mass? Where would you be? Front row, baby. Why? Because I want to be close to him. Intention, decision, leading people to make that decision point, bringing them to that place that once the Spirit has moved, it happens. So what's the real problem? Why is it so hard? I've been thinking about this a lot too. How is it that the enemy is becoming so effective to make sure that our people are moving away from God and choosing not to believe? And how is that happening in our churches? Well, you know, God created everything. And as he creates everything, he creates everything according to natural law, right? He establishes this natural law and we're used to growing and living in natural law. We're used to it. Everything is defined by natural law. He made it, duh, so that we would exist in this state. So when we're experiencing this natural law thing, where we're going through and, you know, we go outside, you know, you woke up this morning, you looked at the clouds, you looked outside, you couldn't see anything because of the fog, right? And so the chance now is probably going to be a little cooler out. So everybody's bringing their jackets. Why? According to natural law. When these circumstances are there, this is the environment. So we're used to looking at everything and then looking for the evidence. And based on the evidence, we make the decision of what we're going to do. If it looks like it's going to rain, we're going to bring up umbrella. And if you don't have hair on your head and you're going to be on this outside all day and it's really bright and sunny, you're going to bring up yeah, because if not, you're going to get based on natural law. That's true. We live by it all the time. The apostles certainly did. The apostles knew when they were fishing. If they jumped over the boat and went into the water, they would because they know that the water according to natural law cannot support the weight of a man. So they were prepared to get wet every time they went over. You see, we do this all the time. This is how we live. This is what people are looking at all the time. But then all of a sudden you superimpose in the midst of that the infusion of God becoming man entering into the world, bringing us the kingdom of God. And now he is introducing us to something new beyond what we're accustomed to. He's introducing us to something called supernatural law. Why? Because he declares he's God. And when you're God, you can do things supernaturally. You can walk on the water. You can sleep in the boat while it's rocking and then stand up and go be still and as calm the seas go calm. See, the apostles had a tough time figuring that out. We're just looking for a guy. He's supposed to be a messiah. He's just a guy like us. But he's not like us. He's doing freaky stuff that's beyond what we can do. And then we begin to slowly get it. Oh my gosh, he's God. He really is God because only God can do the things that he does. So now all of a sudden we're left to figure out how is God infusing the truth and in supernatural ways so that we come to believe and therefore what are we called to do? Because we're so used to living naturally. And now in our world, the real God of the world has become science. Whatever science speaks into you is what you accept to believe and accept it as truth. And I've had some really weird experiences with that because that can't be true. We have the Word of God and you know Jesus is going around and even the different stories that we've heard over the week, you know, the woman with hemorrhaging, your faith has healed you because God has come to heal the thing that we need to be healed most above all else, our faith, the people's faith. It's the greatest healing. Oh, we're still dealing with our natural lost stuff and I'm struggling with this issue, struggling with that issue. And but God, God, God's looking for the eternal healing. See, the thing about God is anytime we ask for healing, his answers never know. It's just sometimes maybe not yet. Or the way he brings about the healing may be actually through death. And for those of us who have authentic faith in Christ, that's not so bad. Yes, we miss the person who's gone, but you know, my mom doesn't have Alzheimer's anymore. She passed away two years ago. I walked her through that journey the last eight years of her life. So when she died, it was actually a very light and bitter, a bittersweet time. Why? Because my mom had already gone. So now in faith, I knew she's hanging out with my dad and she doesn't have Alzheimer's. And he was the coolest thing. They're not fighting like they used to. They're not. All that junk is healed. But we still live in the here and the now. We still live with all this natural lost stuff and all the things that we see and we experience and and yet we forget that there's a spiritual warfare taking place, right? We have demons that are speaking into our people, speaking into us, brokenness, doubt in God and God's word, all this stuff he's speaking into us and then they're speaking into us medically. What? Yeah, this is this is some of the stuff that I've been beginning to encounter. I was reading this book from a Protestant faith healer, just a really small little book. He was sharing his testimony and he was a young man. I think he was a Baptist. I forget what it was. He was a young man living a life doing great and he had an accident and all of a sudden he has no feeling from his legs down. No feelings at all. Bam, just totally gone. And he's lying in bed and but he knows the word of God. He's been studying it at a young age. So he believes in the word of God and he says, God, this doesn't make sense because, you know, I've asked you for healing and I look at your word and your word says by his stripes, I've been healed. What tense is that? Past tense means it's already done. And so Lord, I don't understand because here's your word and but I'm looking online in bed. I can't feel anything from my waist down. It's been two years now. So what's going on? And he's lying in bed. His mom has gone this one particular day and the Lord answers them in prayers is because you have not proclaimed the truth. You have not accepted and received and proclaimed the truth. What do you mean? You have not received my word. And he's like, what do you mean? Proclaim the truth that you've been healed. But Lord, no feeling. Can't get it. It's not here. I can't feel anything. How can I declare that I'm healed? Don't base what you're declaring on what you feel. Base it on what my word says. So he starts entering into verbal declarations. I have been healed by the way he now starts bringing up all the healing passage and I've been healed by the by the blood of the lamb. You're right. All these different passages he starts proclaiming. He says, now you need to start giving me praise and thanksgiving for the for the healing. But he's so he starts praising and thanksgiving God and going to God and giving him this praise and thanksgiving. He's doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it, doing it and there's still nothing. He's like, can't feel anything. He's touching his legs, can't feel anything. And then he goes, you'll never know till you stand up. And now the enemy starts speaking into him again because it's a battle. Oh yeah, great. Your mom went to work. She's not going to be home till five. You get up and try to stand up. You're going to fall flat on that hard floor and you can be on that floor all day long. You'll never know till you stand. You'll never know whether my word is true until you stand on it. You'll never know. And so finally in frustration, he's he's up there and he takes one leg and he throws it off the bed and he grabs the other leg physically because he can't move them and he throws the other one off and now he's sitting on the edge of the bed and he's like, this is it. And he can know is if he does this, he's either going to collapse because his legs got nothing or he's going to stand. Don't do it. You're going to be on the floor all day long. You'll never know until you stand. So he put his hands on the edge of the bed and slid off and all of a sudden boom. And he says in that moment it felt like a thousand pins were pushed into all around his everywhere. He says it hurt like hell and he was so glad because all of a sudden his legs and muscles that had atrophied for two years were still atrophied. But he was standing and he couldn't understand. He was like, oh my God, I'm standing. This is amazing. How does this happen? You'll never know until you stand. And so he's standing there and he's like, oh my gosh, this is awesome. And he's praising God. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And then he starts getting his hands up on the bed and the Lord goes, what are you doing? Well, Lord, I'm getting back on the bed. Why? You need to go to the bathroom. It's across the room. Go. You'll never know until you take one step. You can imagine what he was doing, right? He's like, so what does he do? He's like, of course, what's happening? What's imagine with him? What's rising up? Fear. So here, listen, understand and faith doesn't take away the fear. Faith gives you what you need to push past the fear because the enemy has the ability to insert false emotion of faith in us, right? So what does he do? He starts walking, goes to the bathroom, comes back, gets up on the bed and just relaxes because he's exhausted. His mom comes home at five o'clock and she does what she only does. She walks into his room and she freaks out the bed's empty. She comes up, looks under the bed, nobody's there, turns around and there's his son walking out of the bathroom. And that's what launched him into his healing ministry. So I'm looking at this. I'm like, Lord, you know, and you know, the funny thing is, it's like maybe three weeks after my conversion experience in high school, I bought that book and I stuck it on my shelf and I never looked at it until several years ago. God's timing. I mean, I looked through it once or twice, whatever, but I wasn't certainly ready for it. So I'm sitting there and all of a sudden, it's somewhere in the middle of COVID and it's nine o'clock, it's eight o'clock in the morning and I'm eating breakfast and stuff, nine o'clock, I've got a full day of work, I've got a meeting at one o'clock and I've got all this stuff that I got to do and it's Tuesday and I'm flying out of town or I've got something I got to do on Friday that I've got to go to. And all of a sudden, you know how it feels like when the flu comes, all of a sudden you get hit with this pounding headache, body aches, chills, nausea, just say yes or no guys. Okay, good, because you're all creeping me out, you're just staring at me. Okay, so it's hit me and now I'm looking at my calendar and I'm thinking, I'll see if I go to bed now and I flush myself out, maybe I can get up and go on Friday because I've got to go out on Friday and the Lord goes, what are you doing? Well Lord, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get this sickness out of the way so I can, so I can just actually, you know, do it, you know, go and serve you. He goes, no, renounce that and rebuke it. What do you mean renounce it? Renounce it and rebuke it unless you want to take it, but the choice is yours. You decide, you don't have to take this on. Well, I have never experienced anything like that before. So what do I start doing? Now remember, the enemy can speak into you with words, make you feel like you are thinking it, but also with false emotions. So now I start saying I rebuke you, I renounce you in the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce the nausea, I renounce the aches, the body aches, the chills, the pounding headache, I renounce you, I rebuke and I command you to go. And now, and he says, now start proclaiming the victory. Oh, thank you, Lord. Thank you for healing me. Thank you. So I'm doing this for a good hour, moving into the second hour. And the headache is getting harder and harder and harder. Why? You think those suckers are going to let you go? Harder and harder and harder, going and going and going and going. And all of a sudden, I've got this, I get through lunch now, it's noon time and I am about, I'm doing this work and I'm feeling like I'm just going to chuck up breakfast. And then all of a sudden one o'clock comes and I dive into this two hour phone conference and I hang up the phone and all the symptoms are gone. Now, I wish I could tell you that happens every time. But there's been very profound times in my life where all of a sudden I realize, wait a second, there's something here. There's something here that I don't understand yet. But there's something here that I need to pay attention to because there's a decision. We are offered decisions every day of our lives. And I don't know, maybe you've experienced this, I certainly do. I'm sure you have. That right before we're getting ready to do something, particularly that the enemy knows there's going to be a powerful anointing or something's going on, the fit hits the shan and we start getting attacked with all kinds of stuff. Yes or no? Right? All kinds of medical stuff, headaches, all kinds, right? Is that really meant for us? Or could that possibly be the enemy coming in and choosing to rob us and distract us and take us off our game? You know, you start getting those headaches. Who wants to pray when you got a pounding headache? Right? So I found myself in these situations and actually there was one time because the Lord revealed this to me after the fact because this happened a whole bunch of times. Where is he? Father Leon. I was at his church where he's back in the corner. I went to his church. How much time do I got? Oh, good, three hours. Okay, so I can't go to Father Leon's story. I'll have to tell you that later because I do have to move on. We're going to be wrapping up. But the best example of this situation where we choose not to believe, where we choose to just receive whatever is coming at us, particularly holding on to natural law above God's word, is St. Thomas. Right? You know the story. Jesus comes and in the room and Thomas isn't there and he says peace be with you and he goes through, shows him his hands and his side and the apostles come to believe and they go back to Thomas. But do you remember what Thomas says? Thomas comes and he comes and he says, but Thomas who was called the twin, one of the 12, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, we have seen the Lord, but he said to them, listen to him hold on to natural law unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails in his side, I will not believe. That's free will. I choose not to believe until you can give me the empirical evidence. You see, when you live your life based on natural law, you demand empirical evidence. Natural law teaches us look for evidence and then live according to it. Supernatural law requires faith in the Word of God, faith in what God has said and what God has done and who God is. And so are we leading our people to that engagement of the supernatural recognizing them, recognizing to them that look, God said God did everything Jesus said he would do, he would do. Remember the John 6 story, people come on the mountain, this is just too difficult to believe, right? And they're getting ready, they're walking away. But Jesus says, I understand why what's your hesitation? Master, this is just, we don't understand. So they're choosing not to believe his Word. But he kind of gives them, you know, I didn't realize it until I was studying it, ready for getting ready for here. But he throws them like, you know, one of those lifesaver rings. He says, well, what if you see the man, the son of man ascend to the Father where he came from? Then would you believe? Because, you know, you people, you're always looking for signs, you just don't take the Word. You see what I mean? There's this choice we can do. And so what happens? He comes to Thomas the second time he comes into the room. A week later that his disciples were again in the house and Thomas was with them. And although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them. Which again, why don't you believe just on that? The dude walked through a door, but he stood among them. And Jesus was now very intentional. He went there for one purpose. Jesus came and stood among them and said, peace be with you. Then he said to Thomas, put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt, but believe. You see what he was teaching them to do right there moment? The doubts are going to come. They're going to constantly bombard us. But now he commands them, don't doubt. Believe in me. Believe in my Word. And then what does he do? Now he proclaims him, my Lord and my God. And then Jesus throws the bombshell again. Do you believe because you've seen me? Empirical evidence, natural law. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe. Thomas gets a bum wrap because I think you could insert our name, doubting Ralph, doubting all of our names because we're doing the same thing Thomas does. Even in the midst of knowing what we know, we still doubt at times. Is that not true? But that's when we now have to fight. And Jesus even gave us the blessing. One more passage and I promise I'll be done in two hours. Paul, in his second letter to the Corinthians, chapter 10, verse three, go through five says, Indeed, we live as human beings, but we do not wage war according to human standards. For the weapons of our warfare are not merely human, but they have divine power to destroy strongholds, to destroy arguments and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God. And then here's where he shows us what to do. And we take every thought captive to obey Christ. So when the stuff starts coming, I mean, I was healed of my addiction to porn in the year 2000 when the Lord went down to the basement in a vision with me and took me to that bedroom where I was hurt. And he healed me. And he took away any last messages of a desire to do it, but that doesn't stop the enemy from coming back to regain the lost territory, does it? And it's not that you're, you know, like I really do, I know I was healed, but they come and they try to regain territory. And so taking captive of every thought for crisis to recognize when those thoughts come because we are in the spirit, because we're in a state of grace, as we're talking about why it's so critically important to be in that state of grace so that we can see when those thoughts come to attack us, we can see where they're from and we can tell them, I don't need you and I don't want you in Jesus name. I command you to go to hell and we fight with his strength, with his grace, with his power. But the only way we can enter the battle is if we choose. So brothers, let us not only choose on our own to enter that battle, but let us exhort our people. As the enemy exhorts them to doubt, let us exhort our people to take on the word of God, to choose to believe. How many times have they recognized in their own lives that they read something on Facebook or Twitter and then later found out it wasn't real, but they believed it. We just need to encourage them to choose. Choose to believe. We can explain the how and the why, but then we got to lead them to that decision, to respond. Let us choose to believe that our Lord loves us so much.