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You can now follow me on all my social media platforms to find out who my latest guest will be and don't forget to click the subscribe button and the notifications bell so you are notified for when my next podcast goes live. I had to ask you. People are always on the phone and they are always saying the wrong thing. I don't know if they are taking the piss but boom we are on. I think that is the first time I have ever said it in slow motion. I just got so used to it, it has just ended up a thing. That is me just kind of switching on. It is like everything else stops. I am involved in the guest. You are smashing it, you are everywhere, you have went viral. It is a good thing to see, you are trying your hardest to make something of your life. Turn Red has gone massive, everybody is clipping it up. It has gone mega. How is life brought first of all? Life is good man. The music industry is up and down anyway. I think I am at an age where I kind of understand everything. Not even though they are still up and down. But I am good, I can't complain. That whole life trying to get a song that even reaches that far. Obviously we want more but I am really blessed and thankful to get the opportunity. How old are you? I am 38. I am 39 bro. Oh no. 40 next week. I am 39 last week. Happy birthday. Yeah I am 40 next week. Yeah. I have lied about my age for years mate but I feel as if it is time. I feel mature now I can own it. I don't know if it is half time. I don't know what is happening. I always question life anyway. I am a big thinker and I question it even more. Is this the second half of my life? Should I be doing more? It goes that fast. You are younger people say it goes by. In a blink of an eye you think shut up you old mug. Bang. It is a good question to ask yourself. I think it is kind of like the second half. We would like to think so anyway. Before we get into everything I would like to go back to the start of my guess. Get more of an understanding of who you are and what you are about. Go right back where you grew up and how it all began. Okay. It goes right back to a little council with a state. Ila Shepi in Kent. Called Queensway. That was my beginning man. That was the first 10 to 12, 10 to 14 years I was there. Council state life. Everyone says the same thing. I liked it. I liked it. I have lived out of a council state. It was great man. It was great. The first part of my life. We were saying up to 10 was really nice. Parents were together. We lived in a bit of a rough area. It was really cool. Normal and just good fun. Running around doing what you want. That was cool. School was alright. Up until sort of like 10, 11 when I started to go into secondary school. It was quite like visible that I was different. My name was Moses. I was in a predominantly white school. I had big afro hair. You can see my hair. It just goes afro. Big afro hair. My name was Moses. I listened to a lot of rap music. People didn't listen to rap music back then in them times. There was a little bit of bullying. It wasn't like loads. It was only for a few years. Until I kind of got myself together. Found myself or whatever. Mum and Dad split up the same sort of time. Which was a bit shit. It was a rough household man. What's that? Dad left. My older brother was on heroin. Mum was on drugs. Not hard drugs like heroin or nothing like that. But she was like amphetamines. Stuff like that. It was a rough little time period. I ended up getting stabbed by my brother. That's where the whole craziness kind of stopped there. I went to stay with my dad. Spent some time in London. But we were all good. Family was all good. It was just like cancer. It's not normal. It's just normal stuff. Fighting and whatnot. It was like that. Why did your brother stab you? Just in a fight. We was mad. We was mad man. We was like the worst. When we'd start fighting. The neighbours would knock on the door. They're fighting again. My brother was mad. But I think he just got out of hand. Probably not even realising as young kids. Loads of stuff going on around you. It's making your head not straight. I think it was more than that. I think it probably shocked him more than me. What's your mum and dad's background? My mum and dad are both British. My dad's side stems from Irish and Scottish. My mum's side stems from Roman Egyptians. The Irish... I had them little influences from the Irish. My dad was an Irish folk singer. When I was around him... I see that a lot. There was a lot of gigs. People would come back to the house and parties. I grew up seeing that a lot. The Scottish was a little bit. My grandad was Scottish. But he wasn't by blood. He was by marriage. Our roots went back to Irish. There was always heavy influence from Jamaica. Because them times there... I found myself more comfortable with my sister. My sister was a lot older than me. She lived in London. She was dating a Jamaican guy at that time. They lived together. She lived in the predominantly Black area. I just liked it more. I felt more comfortable in that area. Everything around it made me feel a little bit more comfortable. My name felt a little bit more comfortable. Having Afro hair didn't feel so much out of place. I don't know if you remember back then... All the kids in my school... All the white boys, they had curtains. I couldn't get them. My hair was so curly. It was just twisted up. I'll just give up in the end with curtains. I did feel a lot of comfort with my sister. Her partner looked up to him a lot as well. Just before then... I never really took that influence from the Irish folk. I was always into jungle music. Drum and bass music. With the influence from dance or music. Listening to dance or music and reggae. That was my thing. My sister was heavily listening to that. Naturally. She was quite a lot older. Not following in my dad's footsteps. She followed my sister instead. Did you feel like an outsider? No. At school? At that place? At the first school? Was that one of the lowest in your life? When you see your mum abusing drugs? Your brother stabbed your dad to split up? No. I wasn't at a point where I didn't realise what was going on. I knew it was bad. I don't think that affected me at all. Do you think that? We all think that because as men... We're always trying to block it out. But very good at blocking out pain. It definitely affected me in a way. I don't know. But 100% would have affected me. 100%. But I don't know. That's how much of a man you block stuff out. You don't even know how it affects you. What did you do after school? I got kicked out of school. Why? Just through being a little shit man. I got a job. It was like a couple hundred quid a week. 15 years old. Couple hundred quid a week. Didn't care about anything really. I always had music on my mind. Even back then. Even though I wasn't really taking it seriously. I had a mad... It was a mad... Up until getting kicked out of school. It was mad but... It was good man. It was still good. I didn't want to change anything. What age did you start getting into rap? Must have been about 9, 10. Early? Who did you look up to? It was like German bass at the moment. At that time there. I had like an older friend. He was a few years older than me. Luke Ambrose, big up Luke. He was listening to like... Helter Skewer, Tape Packs. Stuff like that. He used to bring them around and listen. I really took to the... Trigger, Spider. They was... The German bass artist that had a heavy lead. They sounded... It was Jamaican. It was dance all over jungle. And I just loved it man. That's what called me straight away. And that's what I kind of went with that style there. From early. I remember he used to come around and we used to get the... Tape Packs. And we used to play the music on one tape deck. And you could record it on the other. And you could put headphones in the mic. And you could like... So you could record yourself over the song. It was like a mini little studio. Like back in the day. Yeah it was good man. Good times. Was music your escape? Yeah. Yeah. Like so much. Yeah. It's my only thing that I've ever hold on to. But I'm like yeah. Even when things get bad. I still got hope with that. That's my backbone. Why is it so important to you? Because it's all I know. It's just what I love. And that's all I know. Music is like... I won't cry. I will not cry. Nothing will make me cry. Music. Catches me man. Catches me so bad. Like I get really emotional with music. That can really get to my heart. And make me stop and think. I think I might have ADHD. But I don't know. I'm pretty sure I have. Because I don't... I can't ever keep still. I've always got to be doing something. And when I work, I smoke a lot of weed. And that's what... I focus. I can't just smoke weed. I have to work. I have to smoke and work. So anytime I smoke, I have to be... doing something as well. And I just know it's just through like... silly little things where like... I notice myself. Like my mrs. Like she falls asleep. I will constantly like... pick it up through the night. Yeah. Yeah. Foking her kitchen. And I realise it's because I've got nothing else. There. For my attention to... I feel like I have. I've never been diagnosed or anything like that. I feel like I've got ADHD to a certain extent. So I feel like... music keeps me like... structured in a life of no structure. Because I've got no structure. And I ain't had structure for years. Like I don't have weekends. Like every day is another day for me. So it's like... music's kind of like my structure. I remember because I remember when I left my job. And I said to myself... I don't know how I'm going to do this. I don't even know what I'm doing. Nobody knew I was like really or anything. And I used to just... I didn't have no... internet on my phone. And I used to tell myself every day I'm going to go to the library and spend one hour working. Like it's a job. And that's what I've done. I just took it seriously like that. From then and just... Can you ever be alone? Yeah. No, yeah, I can be alone. What hose your head, Spitz? Uh... It can run wild. Yeah, it can run wild. I can get really... I don't know what it is with me sometimes, man. I just like even... yesterday. Just bad, man. Just... Didn't want to get out of it. My woman, she kind of... she kind of clocks it. I don't talk, man, because we're men. And we don't... I don't talk that much. I do talk, but... Sometimes I can't and it's like even yesterday. Sometimes I know it's alright. But I don't know, just that just catches me. And I think sometimes I just need time. I think I'll give a lot... I think I'll give a lot of energy when I'm around people and when I'm... when I'm like okay, I'll give a lot of energy out. And I feel like sometimes when I'm on my own I just need to just... sometimes I'm good on my own. Sometimes, yeah. It gets a bit mad. Have you ever been suicidal? Nah. Nah. I just sleep. Yeah, I just want to sleep. Just sleep. I keep sleeping. Do you take anything else other than weed? Nah. I don't even drink that much. Yeah. Is that why you see the character you've kind of... over the last few years do you feel that's a shield? Because... of who you are. Because even speaking to you now and a way to take away all the fucking other shit that you do, you're a good guy, man. I can see you're a decent fucking guy. You know what I'm saying? Obviously when you build a character you've got to be that character. You've got to be something else. Because it's not really you. I remember when I started doing stand-up comedy. I was going through a lot of changes in my life and I thought stand-up comedy has always been funny. I've always been funny at parties. I remember doing it and going on stage and I remembered it wasn't me. I was tired of being that clown. You know? And then I would come off stage and I would get depressed and I would get down. I think that it's not me because it's like a constant battle of trying to be two different people instead of just being me. So this is a guy who I just speak to now on the podcast. Yeah. If you speak to me after this I'll be the same guy. There's no that tiresome way so I kind of went down that route where you've now created this character where get your publicity, get you a bit of money, get your recognition and you're popping off. But again, it's not really you. This is why these podcasts are so important because it struts back all that bullshit. I think, yeah man, I think it's the first podcast I've ever done like this. You're making me think. But that's a good thing. I mean, no, I don't get tired of being this person. And I think it's different for me because I was always like this white boy that was just like heavily into Jamaican culture and I loved it and I wanted to show it and I think now I'm quite happy with it. Like obviously the fame is the fame and things come with the fame but I'm definitely happy with I feel like I'm now at my point in the life where I'm more comfortable with myself than I've ever been in my life because I was searching a long time for well, not searching but I was trying to be an authentic Jamaican dancer artist for years, years ever since I've like listened to the music, I've done my music but I've always wanted to be an authentic to sound exactly the same and I think it was only at the beginning of the last year where I've started to find myself and understand that you're not gonna you're white you're British, you love the culture to the point where you can talk you do the music you know about the culture and that's just you and that's as far as it goes you're never gonna be an authentic dance or artist you're gonna be a dance or artist and that's all you need I create something that's different for me like I'm a dance or artist but I'm not even like a normal dance or music your regular dance, some of it is but it's just different and I feel like I've created the person who I was meant to be and I'm comfortable with it I'm comfortable with it obviously like the whole thing of and I think a lot of people think to themselves I wonder if him find it like to keep up the accent but that is just normal and the only reason you're gonna really hear it like this you're gonna be able to talk to a brother from Scotland or Ireland or England in a patois that makes sense it doesn't make no sense if you are Jamaican we can talk to Jamaican and it's just normal and natural and if we are talking our way we're gonna understand if Kian said that word then I'll just say it in English and I've built my vocabulary now the words that I don't really catch I always say it in English so it's just like natural now it's just like yeah that's when I say that and that's how I sound and I'm happy with that I'm happy with who I am I don't feel like I think the only persona that is quite difficult to keep up is being happy because I think I've give off this like positive image of someone and it ain't always like that but it ain't always like that and it's really difficult to keep that up man that is really really difficult because even when you have bad time you feel like you don't even want to say nothing because the second you say something you're letting all them people down that rely on you they're relying on you or you're their sort of happiness in their time of like like for instance my car tire burst on the side of the road about a month ago and I pulled over on the side of the road into a garage and I walked off because the guy said he's going to be about an hour and I go around and see what I've got around the corner and see if there's any nice shops or whatever I went around and was around the corner and I come back and like the brother from the garage was he was like taking the picture of the car like to give me a ticket and I say yo we doing better man but this guy asked me to tie up flat he said I said big man don't give me no ticket he said no ticket man so I said I'm going to move it bro he said sorry I said sorry I'll move it out of the way I said no problem I'm trying to move it I've scraped the front of my car I've got out of the car and there's this young girl and she's like she's just seeing me and just burst out crying and mum's saying can she get a picture like she loves you and I said yeah cool no problem and I'm trying to comfort her and say nice it's cool like you alright and at that moment there as soon as mum said after me what she said to me I saw the whole bigger picture straight away she's having a really bad time at school today not recently seeing you so she must have like I don't know she's she's having a bad time at school whether she's being bullied or she's having a bad time wherever she's going through and there's this guy on the internet and he's just that's so vibrant and happy it kind of even takes away from the rawness and what he's actually even saying he's like everyone's happy and I think that was a bit of happiness I was a bit of happiness and she's seeing me and like burst out crying and that's my exact point like damn people there the second you started putting out to the public like oh look I'm depressed and I feel like I've let them down yeah I get that yeah but that's the big burden keeping your shoulders because then what happens is you burn out you know what I mean so you've got to protect your own energy and protect you because you're at that stage now when you're popping off people are going to use you left right and centre this is a lonely journey to succeed to raise but I don't fuck around man I'm a lone wolf, means death on the road we don't have fucking loads of people sitting here big production we just do it yeah because that makes it work and it's always hard to trust because there's an element of what they're trying to get but everybody's got to eat so that is where it is but just keep fucking doing what you're doing as well don't listen to the outside noise because that is only noise how are you so connected with Jamaica why did you connect with Jamaica I couldn't tell you the answer to that I don't know what it was but it wasn't just me you know my sisters my brothers they all the same as well maybe it's something in our DNA further down the line I loved the place man because I know because I loved it before I even went there so it wasn't like I went there and I loved it and it's like oh come back to Jamaica and I loved Jamaica all of a sudden I studied it and loved it and way before I even went there the weed bro yeah that was a definitely good part I remember the first time I went there I said to my bridge because he's Jamaican I said yeah I wonder when we can get weed in Jamaica just go on a Jamaican durable weed but no that's not what it was about that weren't I'd smoke weed way before then anyway definitely weren't it was I do like that part I'm not gonna say I don't like that part but it's nice to smoke you're able to smoke I think it's nice so when did you start like with changing your kind of personality persona because you've obviously done rap videos and then you became the way you speak the way you work this is the thing what you see over them years ago it wasn't even me before then it was more like the Jamaican style music when I was doing Jamaican based the way I was doing it but then it got watered down into my career when I first started to actually recording music it got watered down because of the people I was around because they was British and that's what they were doing they were doing gram so it just got watered down from whatever like and it weren't until I moved away from the area in London I kind of like found myself it's actual dance music and it like just started getting a little bit more a little bit more time went on yeah but it was like it's always been there and what do you see in that person when you become like proper reggae Jamaican and the way you speak, the way you walk what is that feeling is that a happiness for you um yeah I suppose it is yeah more happier being what's the name for that person I love Jamaica when I'm in Jamaica there's no other place where I feel just free like so comfortable like I think I don't know what it is I just feel really comfortable there man I feel like nothing's too formal I feel like and even when it is formal it is formal obviously but I can be myself a little bit more everything that I like and I enjoy is there and that's why I like England because we've got a close connection to Jamaica and places and like when I leave here I'll go to my friends, my bridgings and he's a Jamaican and everyone around is Jamaican and the shops we go to is Jamaican and we can get any type of Jamaican food I love UK I do like the UK because it allows me to stay connected but when I set off that plane oh it's just like that energy that I'm in Jamaica because it's just like my friends are there and I know everything and it's just like yeah I love it man I love it I definitely would because if you come back here you're sleeping more there's a little bit of depression here and there if it's not feeding your soul man that's telling you your answers yeah I think like spiritually Jamaica has always been the place where I'll end up yeah definitely man definitely because I don't even feel like like less pressured in Jamaica my stress goes like I don't worry about being on the internet so much um my address is quite loud I've always been a loud person if I'm buying a Ralph Lauren t-shirt you better have Ralph Lauren all over it I'm not gonna buy no Ralph Lauren I ain't got it on it I ain't buying it I'm loud I like to stand out and my favorite color is yellow so like the whole thing about Jamaica like the colors and the vibrancy and like the clothes and the music like the nightlife is like when you go into them parties in Kingston and you got the vibe there and the man's walking around with the you know you just stand in there you don't you don't feel like everybody's there to get drunk like it's like you feel like everyone there's just to have a good time because you've got the weed man walking around so it's like people are less likely to at that moment when you finish that drink you're less likely to go to the bar because it's like I'll finish my drink the weed man give me $100 back and you're still in your vibes and the vibe to it man like this the selectors and people travel from all over the world to go to the parties I drive around Kingston all day and I never see one tourist not one person from a different country you go to the parties at night you see white people, Chinese people Italian people because it's that vibe that you'll never catch anywhere else in the world they're so lovely people like if you've never been to Jamaica and you know Jamaicans in the UK and Jamaicans in Jamaica the thing is with Jamaicans in the UK is England's a stressful place so you become stressed with the system and it doesn't matter what race you come from it's a very stressful place Jamaica you can be any colour any type of race and it's just free and just be who you want to be man no one cares about like how you talk or how you can dance in the middle of the street on your own dance and no one cares yes and they're so lovely people like conversation wise you don't go anywhere and have a conversation you can go literally walk to the shop and you find yourself like just conversating everyone's just cool everyone wants to have a conversation and actually because they've got a little bit more time time's not all about ah we gotta get there then man they're just chilling yes aye yeah man we are dealing they are man we are so man I cook up some curry chicken today yeah man you just end up having normal nice conversations and they're really really nice people I'm thinking about moving to Jamaica I don't know I know there's crime there but there's crime everywhere you know how Jamaica seems to be this dangerous dangerous place and I'm not saying it ain't dangerous I'm just saying man they're such nice people so welcoming and so nice I don't think I like but in a lot of countries I like that I've had a lot of boys on who's mums are Jamaican and every time I've went to theirs for dinner their mums are amazing their foods are amazing but you just know not to fuck them either because they know they run the household the nicest they're the nicest welcomeest most toughest people in the world how will they when you when you've got the accent now do they treat that okay or do they think you're maybe taking the person no man nobody's ever said that in my life let me say oh you sound like a Jamaican you sound like a real Jamaican let me say yeah man I respect man all of them say oh you have it man let me just say you have it man you have it and I say yeah man respect or yeah they've never they've never took an offense they're tough people they're tough people if you're talking you have to understand because when people say oh you know I wonder if people get offended if they're not talking a Jamaican accent but you have to understand the way we're talking because way past like we're not just talking in an accent we're seeing someone say yeah my father father fully active and I always say everything govern from time you talk like basically I say like oh I've got my father father what's good my bro like everything good everything govern you're not taking a piss do you get what I mean I'm just saying there's some people out there who 100% especially in the UK but it's like the way you talk and the way you are you can see like I think if you was walking down the street with a hat on with dreadlocks you know like the fake hats when you get the dreadlocks of Amazon and you walk in and you say yeah man yeah man you're saying things out of time they're going to be like but to be honest Jamaican people they're such nice people they wouldn't even do they'd just be like make them do anything honestly like but yeah man my it's too it's too natural for anybody to have to be like common one with Jamaicans driving a Jamaican car just normal the things that the culture of what it is is I'm so entwined to it a lot of people don't even know that Jamaican a lot of time I don't even say that I'm not because it just doesn't make no sense of complicating things just see how I'm going to say yeah man that is it keep it moving what was your first viral video in the UK something called 100 Gal yeah it was a little clip that went was that the one you were like fucking shouting into the mic and it went yeah I've seen that how about that button you've got that clip not from BBC One Extra but it was a clip I said that was that many clips now it's just fucking your face but it's good to see that's what you've wanted as well so what was it like when you went viral for the first time horrible man obviously portrayed as a gimmick it was a joke and it was quite difficult to get my head around the disrespect and the laughing and all that and it sent me into depression again yeah which is a bit nasty but Jamaican saved me again but it is strange for people like you say the white guy from England because if somebody meets you and you're speaking Jamaican you would think you're Jamaican but then you speak English and they're like fuck me but so if you're that's never been really seen before do you know what I mean listen you'd be 40 in that reggae music they get shit back in the day I've had you before I think that is why the reason why I'm always going to get more fight than anybody else because there's never really been anybody like me there's never really been that person that you know sit down and there's not hopefully there'll be a lot more hopefully it won't end there so you've went viral then and then it's kind of instead of celebrating like you've got depression with yeah depression bad the man horrible stuck in my bed for two days and then Jamaica to the rescue when did you go there? two days afterwards three days was that the first time you'd ever went no no no I've been there a good few times before yeah definitely 100% so if all that shit gets you depressed why do you do it? because there's a lot of happiness as well yeah but I don't think anything in life is just straightforward man I think anything in life is there's going to be ups and downs I know people are going to draw me out I know I'm probably going to be in the media for some stupid shit again somewhere down the line but it's just what it is man it comes with the fame is what it is right now I'm such a controversial person you know people blow in the UK, people blow in music but below what I do a white man doing reggae music to the level that I've blown it's a cause for controversy but I'm cool with that what are you doing? what have you done? I've success comes pain, misery comes torture it comes with the job it's who who have the fucker skin who then keep raising up and every time you keep raising up people then accept you and acceptance is a massive thing and any way this is the good, this is why I love Jamaica so much because any time I feel like because this is who I am I want to be like that I've never done that, this is who I am I can't change who I am so any time I feel like people are trying to take my culture away talking so much shit about me I feel like I can't be who I am this is who I am and that's all, I just got back to Jamaica it just settles me again man being around the people then I just love and their respect in Jamaica and I just love it just makes me feel good because that's what happened when I first went viral I went to Jamaica three days later and I weren't really a known artist on anything then well apart from true I was just starting to be but I went on a show TVJ, big TV channel and they do like a thing where free artists perform one minute each and a public vote and I won Jamaican people voted me to win so that was like a really good feeling and that's when I come back to the UK and kind of like a bit more confident of like me doing what I'm doing just kind of felt like Jamaica was with me they're celebrating you always go where you're celebrated always go where you feel alive always go where you're happiness nobody nothing here it's always scary making change saying that you love the UK and it's this and that it's ruthless here even looking at an England team up playing football they can win and it's still all negative press that they get it's fucked up here I think the next step is to find a piece of land what I want to do is I want to set up some businesses there so like family, friends I've all got businesses running because I think that'll be nice to actually have my family, friends winning with me because I've kept everybody quite close that was around me anyway so the same people that was in Jamaica with me rolling with me for years he's my manager now Why do you think you're celebrated more in Jamaica the place if anybody was going to raise a lamb or raise question marks about who you were and what you're doing would be Jamaicans but if they accept you if they love you, if they embrace you if they want you to succeed in one why do you think they can't do it here I don't know I mean I can't vote for every Jamaican I'm sure not every Jamaican accepts me but on stereotypically I've got a good support and I just think they understand me more I think I understand them more I think they understand me How do you deal with it now obviously you're getting bigger now you're getting clips when you're rapping as a kid and everything's out there in the open how was that, are you handling it better or do you just do the same again go to Jamaica, recharge and then come back now things get to you sometimes and sometimes they don't but I have grew a very very thick skin to it because it's been a lot the last five years leading up to really blowing with Turn Red I've been viable so many times it's crazy so I was kind of prepared for it when have you been at your lowest the last five years probably say then yeah I'd say then five years ago yeah yeah I'd say that yeah because that was horrible man people are taking the piss out I mean talking to me I can't change I don't know nothing else what can I do yeah it was really the thing about the UK as well though we do like a laugh if you see somebody saying man's had a bit of Reggae Reggae sauce and then we'd filled Jamaica that doesn't I laugh, that was not badly when it comes to the hard stuff when it comes to the bullying does it bring back a lot of emotions from what you went to school as well no I wouldn't say that I've got a thick skin man but then you're loved as well people love your stuff I don't think it would be unfair to get upset from people chatting shit when you get so much love like I think I think that's the way I see it I think that I'll just get so much love I think you'd be unappreciated if you start moaning about who says this and that come on man when was the moment you realised ok this is who I am this is what I want to do and I'm just going to give it 100% always ever since I was knee high music music get famous signed never changed never changed some years I was working more it's never changed always been the same goal is that why you've never quit yeah definitely because it's not as if you're early 20s late 20s you're late 30s I ain't got nothing else literally I ain't got nothing else I know of anyway music that's just me come about because that's been your main one that's been the one that's kind of broke you through yeah big up turn red I was in Jamaica I've done a freestyle that part of the freestyle when I was a big bomber class just went viral went viral in Jamaica started going viral everywhere and decided to record it as a song and just went crazy man that crazy yeah it was just like it was just like a whirlwind it was just like words stopping every time I was throwing the produce I was like why after it ain't stopping a little bit better he said that man make it go on man yeah it definitely helped me it definitely helped me feel a bit of a bit of accomplishment finally even though I'm still not like I'm still I'm still in the race now I've got to do this I definitely feel a little bit accomplished 40 years yeah because I've got a book and every year I get a new book and I write my lyrics and my plans and whatever in this book and it got up to Christmas and the song had been signed Kai Senat had just posted it all the top influences in the world were posting it Andrew Tate was conversating about me everything was just going at that point there I was number one in the iTunes and reggae charts I was number eight in the tiktok charts I just said I made it I made it and closed the book and I thought I'll open up another book because now it's a new chapter this chapter finished here it's finished here now it's a new chapter, this is just the beginning so that's why when you're saying about our age definitely it's the second part this is just the beginning just the beginning a little bit of money in my pocket so I can actually do the things that I needed to do to get myself where I needed to be so I feel like this is just the start man so it was a good feeling was that the first thing you'd feel was if you'd accomplished something all that years of people laughing oh my god it was so emotional I think it was all happening and it was all happening but I think it was when I signed the deal that's when it when did you sign the deal about three weeks before Christmas and what's the deal it was with Sony just for the song yeah that's classic though even though I'm not signed to Sony the song got signed to Sony and what you thinking when Sony calls I was expecting it I'm not gonna lie so I wasn't expecting it I was expecting it I had a few other labels interesting as well but it was a rough little journey even going through the signing producers distributors and it was really really stressful time because it was a couple of weeks where I was waiting to sign but it was all on other people it was distributors that had to terminate contracts early people with other producers that had to get their lawyers involved and what not and what not and it was literally like a two weeks of my whole family my little mum my kids the Mrs my son no he's feeling it for me he don't even want to chat to me because he knows my mind is just like so tense when I finally signed the deal my whole body and I just couldn't hold it together man went into my mum and my Mrs was there my mum was there and I said I signed it I said I think I said I've done it and just broke down man broke down ah yes I had time it was so emotional finally I feel like I'm back to square one that's what you want to feel though because then that means you don't get to above your station yeah that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying so it's good to stay humble it's just the beginning because it doesn't mean anything it'll fizzle and then what we've got to go again how big can we go next time how much money can we get in the next contract like this is all business bro how's your mum now she's really good man she must be proud of your inn yeah that's one thing that's nice about the whole thing the family being proud but then it's just a pressure because it's like now that's this new person that's buying a trainers on the weekends that's buying this and I was like I'm tight with money I am tight with money because I never knew when the next money was coming I didn't get paid a wage I didn't know what was coming next week it was just music you know and get to a point where like the kids are happy and I'm like now I feel like I can't let them down because now I've got to be dad still I've got to be this dad now with chains I've got to be him now how many kids you've got 5 5 kids bro 14 9 2 there 8 and 1 who's 7 that's what it's all about man how do they see their dad when they see you being the artist and rapping and reggae proud really proud even my 14 year old she was the only one who was like nah but now it's like she gets straight different in school now she went through a little bit of bullying because she was in like this emo stage of her life where she wanted to be an emo which was fine I do it me, I don't judge nobody anyone could be whoever you want you know but she done her thing and she got a little bit of stick for it at school and it was getting a bit like and I don't know what changed in her maybe she felt pressured to change into it but I tell her like I hope you're not pressured into that changing because you be who you want to be but she's kind of changing she's kind of rebranded herself now like not emo what is emo you know like gothic so now she's not that now she's opposite, now she wants Jordan 4's and this and that and it's like she's at school now and obviously your dad's M.R in it he's got a song with Snoop Dogg it's like so he's it's nice in that way but um yeah it's a pressure man that's the biggest pressure out of everything yeah kids are the biggest pressure I don't care about anything else really I don't care about money that much man I don't but I care about my kids happiness yeah do you see a lot of yourself and your daughter yeah and my son yeah them too specifically but kids are little experiment hunters so they're trying to figure out what's right for them because at school it's so much pressure to be the cool kid do you know what I mean so it's difficult so when you create a little character like yourself it's like okay this works for me and for anybody listening or watching it's just be who you want to be as long as you're not harming anybody 100% nobody's asked that's why I don't judge people who sit across from me I don't care if you're straight bi trans gay whatever got whatever the fuck you making fucking I don't I do not care as long as you're not harming kids as long as you're not harming anybody else 100% be who you want to be and I think people because for me the universe this is a big game I think we're all just big characters and we can dress the way we want we can speak the way we want but it's just if you're not harming anybody then you're doing wrong why are people so triggered by so things that are so sensitive stop being so sensitive to things that aren't new or that big so just be your own character be your own fucking whatever it is you want to be in this life and we're living in a very judgmental society where a social media is playing a massive part in mental health and then top of that you've got drinking, you've got drugs you've got people trying to out-compete each other with money and success and we are confused we are confused because there's people who can have a great life and a great upbringing with their kids and being a good dad by just going out there and working and coming home and spending time with your kids because that's what real happiness is but it's difficult because we all want to succeed social media is a numbers game we all want more followers, we want more views okay I didn't get more views for that am I not loved anymore so you doubt yourself and that's the tricky part because then you're never enjoying the process because life goes that fast like you say what do you mean you're in your 40s it doesn't matter man especially in this music game because that's what the labels are looking at they're looking at the numbers you know so if you're not getting the numbers but for me I just think that I'm content in life as long as I'll be happy with this I'll be happy carrying on like this it was a feature from a guy from New York who sung asked me to do a feature and yeah just paid me to do a feature it's amazing though isn't it crazy it's fucking amazing you've not quit you've always believed in yourself while people are laughing and poking and prodding and kind of bullying and they don't see you when you're in the house crying and fucking miserable and depressed and thinking what am I doing that you've kept going for anybody just keep going I don't think people realise the effect that they have on people when you're like like I'm not going into it but I had a situation on the weekend I've done a podcast and they set me up and they put out a clip it might not have been intentionally to throw me under the bus it might not have been and it probably wasn't it probably genuinely just was to get attention to get traffic to the channel and I don't think you understand like they thought I said something and when you watch it I don't like clearly don't but they don't have to understand and I think these people weird are thinking nice fine because it doesn't say that or whatever you're putting out is not actually what it is but people run with that one post that they've seen and it gets to your man because people you know it's a lot so I don't I think people should this 2024 this whole cancel culture thing is crazy crazy like I think there's just like a lot of people that are not doing a lot with themselves are really bitter and will invest every piece of time to drag you down don't know these people it's really dangerous you don't know these people you even know them personally but they want to drag you down cancel culture in 2024 is gone is getting out of control yeah for me I think the only person that can so you as yourself 100% nobody can't cancel your part for yourself when you've got a soul when you've got free thinking mentality what can they take your social media who fucking cares life if you're doing stuff you shouldn't be doing then you know that's on your conscience and you know that's gonna come out bro so you can you know somewhere down the line everything's gonna fuck up for you because you're not a good person but from time you're a good person and you ain't like you say you ain't doing nothing wrong you're good man how is it in the UK then obviously in Jamaica it's different but in the UK what about like racism and putting on voices because that was to put on an Indian voice or a Pakistani voice and all races this and that so how does it work here how are you how do people treat you if putting on a Jamaican accent in the UK well I only talk to Jamaicans in Jamaica yeah man so like I say I wouldn't unless unless it's relevant because you know what people are like here they just want to pick and prod and find faults and flaws 100% how's it been now obviously you've always changed for a positive after turn red but people are starting to support you is that the first time you'd felt proper love I felt like a lot of people got one over then yeah I feel like that was like turning point where like yeah yeah this guy okay he's a serious artist he's got a good tune it's quite catchy everybody's singing it exactly I mean is that what you felt okay I'm not a joke I'm not just some guy who's a mimic like someone who's pretending to be funny people because at the start if you see someone at the start you've never seen before people have got the right mind to go he's a joke because there's a lot of comedians out there who do a lot of shit yeah that's the thing we're in a day in age of there's a lot of content creators 100% I don't blame anybody from looking at it and saying he's a content creator putting on a Jamaican accent it's far from that so how are you feeling? where's the next steps from you? where do you go? how far can you take it? I don't I'm going to be I don't even want to sound ignorant I will be the biggest thing there is yeah people will remember me mate this is just the beginning literally just the beginning literally what's going to happen this year who knows who knows but I I want to be like a legend remember him he went through it man he went through it like he's strongest soldiers always get the hardest fight because you'd be 40 they're reg ain't they? I've had you be 40 on because they get shit because they were doing reggae music because I've not got that people can be who you want it it's music it's an artist whether you buy it or not it does the same as M&M the biggest rapper of all time people fucking hate it on him because he's a white guy it's just be pushing the boundaries and pushing the boat as long as you're not harming anybody people are getting affected then who the fuck you harming? this is genuinely my life you know I don't nothing's like nothing's like set out to make it look like I'm more into the culture or anything like that like the food I cook for dinner every day nobody sees because you've got a cooking channel as well cooking channel as well yeah cook and vibe check out the cooking channel a bit of a vlog channel at the moment but we still do the cooking but I cook Jamaican food every day what's your speciality? the kids would say curry the kids would say curry goat that's what the kids would say but for me it might as like escovich fried fish but it's a normal it's a very very normal lifestyle for me Jamaican food is my growing up my mum never used to really cook a lot so we never really like grew up knowing how to cook like that so my first introduction was food was from my sister's partner it was a rasta so my whole thing has been Jamaican food because I don't really know I know exactly what to do my head don't work alright we're cooking lasagna tonight because I don't know how to make lasagna I've never cooked lasagna I don't even know where to try I don't know where to start, what to do but it's like so when we're shopping it's like automatically we do an ox tower for that day brown stew chicken that day we have fish that day and that morning we just set out and yeah the whole savoury sort of person so I find Jamaican food I love Indian food and Jamaican food the whole savouriness works for me it's so strange Jamaican for me is so strange everything is like for me in the mornings I find it quite difficult to eat cereal my dad used to force feed me oats you like the Scottish oats I hated it just all the kind of I'm not really a breakfast type of person and then you know when I started eating a lot more Jamaican food like the Jamaican patties for me it was like that works for my stomach in the morning the same way like a steak or a sausage roll or whatever kind of works good for me so if it's a sausage roll or a steak bake or a Jamaican patty it all works for me really well so if I'm in Jamaica I know myself or it's like a soup in the morning like a chicken soup just works better for me just works better for me the drinks that I like is like I don't like whiskey Hennessy but I like rum that blows the arse right off you know it's about 150% I remember doing one of these because I was supposed to go they're not in how carnival but I was supposed to go to wasn't Jamaica it was somewhere like that though Trinidad, my friends from Trinidad Leo and he was wanting us to go but I couldn't make it for some reason but they were saying that drums like 100% they fucking love it it's all about what makes you feel happy and I think it's just a place where I like that food more than I'm not saying I only like Jamaican food I'm saying I prefer it I'm not saying I don't like any other drink but everything in the culture connects with me I like fruit punch I find it better buy a drink in Jamaica than in a shop in England because of just the flavours and the range is more for me it connects with me more even like the drinks like the alcoholic drinks Magnum that's why I drink Magnum so when you wake up in the morning who are you when you wake up are you Moses or do you feel like do you wake up every morning or you just I wake up every morning reggae music has to play reggae music has to play that's like yeah I need to smoke a bit of reggae music I think people would be shocked if they actually see how I live each and every day that my house is Jamaican flags everywhere there's no other seasoning in there apart from Jamaican seasoning there's other seasonings but they don't get used as much as that one this is what I'm trying to say my point is I'm not just specifically saying this country you can go in my cupboard and there's Mexican spices and Italian spices but there's Jamaican spices more than anything and they're getting used more than anything when it comes to music I like grand music I like a bit of this and a bit of that but it's constant reggae and dancing music Bob Marley he's doing a film about him this year that's going to be epic man but I just I think people would be really shocked if they understand this ain't like it's not like I get up and like I say it's never been I've got to get up I've got to do this to try and make it look like um like like the stuff that I do away from camera is probably like people think like like yeah he's he really does enjoy it and that's what that's what he does do you feel as if you always tried to like get people to understand you more that you're not, it's not an act, it's not a surad you don't believe in some of these culture no I don't care man I don't care if you're looking to it enough if you don't you don't that's all you can do you get to a point of it where it's like I'm not saying that I I deserve any sort of status or anything like that but it's just a simple thing where it's like if you ask me questions I will have the answers like if you ask me about Jamaica I will have the answers and I will know and you're going to find it very very difficult to catch me out to find out if I don't know anything called Dordastro you know would you say you're more Jamaican and Ingris obviously people can identify as fucking pandas and horses now like do you identify as a Jamaican no I don't you just all have Ingris but you just love everything about Jamaica yeah yeah yeah just I'm just a English cultured person because you know you'll get because it's not just it's not just Jamaica that I love you know I love all other countries and I'm a really cultured person in every culture like if I'm in Turkey I know what they're eating I want to everything I want to know the culture yeah man I'm just I'll just class myself because this is where it all went crazy the other day I'll just I'm just an English cultured cultured man who loves Jamaica that's not a bad thing bro but like I say we're living in an environment where people are identifying as fucking bits of wooden flooring carpets and so people will question I want to get myself in trouble because the things you say things these days and it gets taken way out of context so I'm going to be really careful how I say this that whole thing of identifying as something that you're not is mental it's crazy be who you want to be and if you feel comfortable in that person run with it you don't have to identify I don't I'm not Jamaican I'm never going to say I'm a Jamaican or I identify as a Jamaican I'd love to have a Jamaican passport don't get me wrong I would definitely love one of them so I could you know like just like you know get a place instead I'd love that man but that's just for me I'll just love for them to give it to me I thought yes I'm where we are I fucking love it mate you've got so much passion for another country you embrace Jamaican flags because people listen like I say I'm fucking rooting for you bro be who you want to be do the fuck you want fuck what anybody says who gives a fuck if you want to do the fuck I've got fake mango cheese and fake banana cheese in my living room to make me feel like more tropical when are you getting back over soon man soon yes I need to get back soon yeah good on you fucking go for it bro like I said but yeah look I don't how I identify I think people should really feel a little bit just be more comfortable with what you want to be you don't have to say you identify someone for someone to take you as someone I don't need to say you know you want to be something so people will see it they will see it and they will embrace you from it you know if you want to be if you want to be a biker be a biker you have to prove anything to that one you just be and you just do it and the more you do it people will notice but oh look he's a biker and that's it yeah man people just be who you want to be in life man why do you think it triggers people people being different I don't know man do you think that's cause of not getting the balls to be who they want to be maybe if no one ain't going to say it I'll stand up and say it first listen I am I am a Jamaican I love Jamaica to the point where there's never going to be anything that ever changes it would never change this isn't something that I'm doing for now Jamaican culture is what it will always be for me it's always been and it will always be so I don't have to say like even to say I'm an authentic darts or artist I am happy with who I am I'm happy with I'm a white British cultured guy who does reggae music and that's it there's no more to it and people in Jamaica they don't care if I'm white or if I'm British or if I'm German whatever could you ever go to another place fall in love with that and see you went to Germany or Japan and you thought then the love for Jamaica is so deep that's what I'm searching for in them countries do you think there's a lot more than what people understand I come in Switzerland and I'm sitting in out of anywhere I could be in Switzerland I'm sitting in a studio with some white rasters drinking rum smoking weed because I felt comfortable with them we had a good vibes and we can for anybody watching brother that's maybe a life of struggle you've battled yourself, you've come out the other end you're flying high in life, you're achieving everything you set out to do I know you still battle but for anybody that's struggling right now what advice would you have for them be you don't care what people say and just stay strong man stay strong keep your mind strong because they're out here to get you that's all your social media which are youtube channels get everything promoted but people can support, follow yeah my cooking channel please go and check it out, my youtube channel cook and vibe, that's when you really get to know this guy isn't just doing music he's everything and then do you know what's horrible and I have to say this man it's like I'm watching what I say because of what happened on the weekend don't let these people out here destroy you because they will they will and they don't don't let people destroy you don't let them, don't let them because they will, they want to and the second I'm sitting here thinking I'll be careful what you say I've got nothing bad to say bro I've got nothing bad to say I go on every podcast because I know I've got nothing I can't say nothing wrong I don't say nothing wrong but nah there's people out there to get you be careful, be strong and don't let them get to you just saying that has just made me overcome that just me realising that a couple of times I'm like don't let them get to you how are you feeling today like I say it's good to have you on and strip back everything to show people who you are I feel like I've had a therapy session this is what these are about like I say majority of people probably everyone just they're trying to show who they are but it's to get an understanding of the person, you're not a bad guy what you're doing, you're a father you're a husband you're a son, a brother people don't see all that you're seeing who you are online but that again, it's not a character but it's not real when you strip all that back nobody sees you when you're a dad nobody sees the trauma you've been through as a kid it's sad for your brother you love Jamaica but who fucking cares but you get a lot of love there's more love than anything else no matter who you are in life if you're good or bad people are gonna show love the bottom line is be you and take your fucking journey as far as you want to go everything is limitless you know what I mean brother what's your Instagram and stuff as well Instagram m.r.official and tiktok m.r.official what does m.r.m mean, is that your name? yeah, just in case it was anything else yeah, nothing interesting just in case I asked in case it was but yeah, listen Moses would you like to finish up on anything else brother nah, just thanks for having me I'm a big fan of show I kind of knew this conversation was gonna be for now I just want to say that I won't be doing any more podcasts or interviews for the time being just because I feel like I feel like I've explained my story now I've said it now I've said it now I've told my story enough times now and now I think it's time to just you know, and I think this being a fan of the show I think this is the perfect way to say like okay yeah, listen brother I'm now on just I wish you nothing but the success man keep smashing it, keep doing what you're doing and I will always be watching from the sidelines and cheering you on as well brother, bless you brother