 Enchanted came out 15 years ago. Oh boy do I feel young. Now we have Disenchanted, which is probably the most appropriate title any movie has ever had, because all the magic and wonder and joy from the first has been completely removed from this one. Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey are back in Disenchanted, a movie that really doesn't have any reason to exist. Outside of maybe drumming up a few more subscribers for Disney+, where this movie went straight to to die. Amy Adams is an absolute pleasure to watch. Even all these years later, she can still sing, she can still dance, she can still, after all, missus is France. I don't know what that means. I'm just going up a Beauty and the Beast at this point. Something much better and more worthy of your time than Disenchanted. Patrick Dempsey is in this, I guess, is maybe the best thing I can say about him. Oftentimes begrudgingly so, as the script is constantly trying to get rid of this dude. He's like, ah, go over here, get out, get out, go. That's right, his character Robert has been kind of sidelined in this movie, along with anything else that was kind of good about the first. Specifically, James Marsden's Edward. Why does this guy have like seven minutes of screen time? He's a delight. He's charming. He's hilarious. He's the only good part about the sequel. And frankly, he's better than it. So I'm kind of glad that he's not in it very much. I'm kind of shot out of a cannon right now. I recognize that. I'm gonna back up. We're gonna talk about the plot. And while I kind of reassess things and get my bearings, why don't you maybe subscribe to the channel? As I post tons of movie-related content each and every week, we have fun here. It's light, all right? I'm not a professional by any means. I'm just a dude watching movies and letting you know my thoughts. And I expect you to do the same in the comments below. I'm also, for some reason, rod and tomato certified, but that's on them, not me. Anyhow, Giselle said goodbye to Andalasia over 10 years ago, still living in New York in her comfortable flat, and she's miserable. And it's because she's had a child. I'm a parent, I understand. It only gets worse. Making matters worse? She has a garbage stepdaughter named Morgan, who I'm pretty sure never says a nice thing in the first hour and a half of this movie, and her eyes are constantly set to just roll to the sides of her head. Her father doesn't seem to really care. All he says is, teenager's right. Anyway, I gotta go. So Giselle's out. She doesn't want the hustle bustle of the city life, she wants to go somewhere quaint-er. She really wants to go back into her animated world, and all I'm thinking is just go then. Just freaking go! But she won't. She wants to make this house a home, so she moves to a quaint new town that promises to be like a fairy tale. Giselle fell for marketing, and it turns out this town isn't perfect after all. I mean, it kind of is, but for Giselle, because she has a newborn baby and a garbage kid and a husband who's never around, yeah, things kind of suck. The town's folk not great either, specifically Melvina and her little henchwomen. She's the queen bee of the town, and she's gonna make sure that Giselle knows it. Things don't really turn around for our princess until Edward and Nancy pay them a visit and give her a magical wand that she can do anything with. Pretty reckless, honestly, but whatever, it's a fairy tale. And this is where the plot really takes off, and I start to fall asleep. She uses the wand to wish for a fairy tale life, and next thing you know, she's turning into an evil godmother. Oh, salty, spicy. Apparently the entire world has been changed because of this wish. Think WandaVision, but on a larger scale. Although we don't see the large scale, we only spend time in the small town, specifically in a couple rooms in the town, even more specifically in front of green screens, the whole fucking movie. That's not fair. They clearly constructed a couple of sets they put up in an abandoned Sears. This is another cheap-looking Disney Plus movie with actors that have aged out of these roles for the most part, or really are above a movie like this to begin with. Here's the fun part, kids. I'm old enough to remember VHS movies and DVDs at rental stores, and oftentimes what Disney would do is they'd chat out a sequel or two to like The Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast or Jungle Book or like any other popular films. These sequels would come out, no one would be the wiser, and you would just randomly stumble upon them at like a target on the end cap. And you'd see, oh wow, they made like Lion King one and a half for whatever the hell that was called. If it's an animated movie, they don't usually pony up to get the original voice actors. If it's a live-action movie, typically it's totally recasted characters. They don't care. It's an easy way to make a quick buck and turn a popular property over for another sequel or two. Now that we have streaming platforms and social media apps, these shitty sequels that are complete cash grabs are taking center stage. They're getting more focused than they deserve. And for some reason, the original actors are coming back for this crap. It just didn't happen before, but everything's trash now. Now it's about pushing as much content out and getting as many people on these streaming platforms as humanly possible at any cost. And what is the cost? Well, it's another mediocre to terrible film. Disenchanted is bad. It's two hours long. It has no point at all. It looks like ass. And then once in a while, they throw out some 2D animation to remind us that Disney used to be a company that made movies that were kinda cool and pretty and different. But then we're back to the live action junk again. What made Enchanted one good, not great in my opinion, is that it was a fish out of water storyline. They took the cliche princess tropes and threw it into the real world. What would happen if a Rapunzel, Cinderella, Aurora type character? Man, I threw those princesses out really quickly. Anyway, what happens if you put them in the real world? How fun would it be if they still tried to sing to animals? And if there was a prince who thought he had to swash buckle his way through everything, that would be funny. Especially if everyone else is kinda normal. It's like watching an episode of The Office and you have Dwight Schrute interacting with the more normal folk like Jim and Pam. This sequel doesn't have any of those fun moments because the whole thing is fairy tale-esque. We go to a small town. Magic is all over the place. There's no real interactions with normal individuals. It's just a waste all around. It's also a waste that lasts for two hours. Why? Why? Is this so long? I should point out there are a couple of musical numbers. The songs range from competent to holy crap, Andina Menzel, stop hitting high notes every single second. It's like she's competing with herself. Ah, ah, ah, it's just nonstop. My ears were full of blood by the time it was done. And now this review is done and I wanna hear from you. Leave a comment below if you wasted your time watching Disenchanted and what you thought. Perhaps this was the sequel you'd always been clamoring for. A worthy successor to a film that came out over 15 years ago. Maybe you're like me and you thought it was hot trash. Like the video if you had a good time. Subscribe if you haven't. 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